Messages

7651

Game Blog / Re: Mario and Color-Blind Gamers

« on: April 12, 2008, 12:39:56 PM »

Time for an obscure quote!

"Look out the window, Mr. President. Tell me, what color do you see?"
"Blue."
"Maybe what I see is what you would call green. There's really no way of knowing, is there?"

7652

General Chat / Re: An Unsettling Discovery

« on: April 12, 2008, 12:37:55 PM »

I had some beef jerky once that tasted like blood.

7653

Video Game Chat / Re: Post Your Brawl Pics Here!

« on: April 12, 2008, 12:34:34 PM »

7654

Mario Chat / Re: Melee or Brawl

« on: April 12, 2008, 01:09:47 AM »

Melee has Fourside and Poke Floats, and honestly, that's almost enough to make me prefer it to Brawl. New Pork City is a lousy replacement for Fourside, because you're not fighting on top of buildings, you're fighting on haphazardly scattered generic platforms with an aesthetically upsetting pile of buildings way in the background. And Poke Floats doesn't even have a lousy replacement. Most of the rest of Brawl is really good (though I still say that getting rid of personalized target test stages is a huge step backwards, as is the pruning of any minigames other than targets), but to me, those were probably the biggest oversights. Well, other than the absence of Geno, Krystal, Megaman, Dr. Kawashima, Goroh, Nook, Mewtwo, Dr. Mario, and Isaac from the playable roster. Or the extravagant mediocrity of the SSE. But I love the rest of the game, really. I could never go back to non-illustrated damage meters, segregated special condition fights, and ugly Luigi, even if Melee's announcer is infinitely better than Brawl's. (Seriously, how am I even supposed to play if it's pronounced "Jigglypuff" instead of "Jiggly Puff"? And how are you supposed to read my post without paragraph breaks?)

7655

Video Game Chat / Re: Brawl's Ups and Downs

« on: April 12, 2008, 12:36:36 AM »

Yeah, did they even hire any trophy modelers this time? Most of the trophies in Melee were brand new models. This time they had almost twice the development time, and yet virtually all the trophies are models that already existed in other games or would have been made for Brawl anyway.

7656

Video Game Chat / Re: Post Your Brawl Pics Here!

« on: April 12, 2008, 12:32:58 AM »

Did anyone else find this picture on the Japanese Dojo yesterday a little disturbing?



O_o

7657

General Chat / Re: Your Favorite Joke

« on: April 11, 2008, 11:19:53 AM »

A troop of French Foreign Legionaries were marching through the desert. They had been marching for days, their water supply had run out, and they were on the brink of collapse.

And then suddenly, as they staggered over the crest of a large sand dune, they came upon a sight that brought relief to them all - a market place, spread out over the desert. Rows of colourful stalls, with their banners flapping in the breeze.

The legionaries were delighted. Filled with an extra surge of energy, they ran down the dune to the market.

Arriving at the first stall, the begged the stall-holder for water.

"I'm sorry," says the stall-holder, "all I have are these delicious puddings made from jelly and sponge and with a cream topping sprinkled with hundreds and thousands."

Not to be deterred, the troops move on to the next stall, pleading for water.

"Sorry, but I only have these bowls of pudding, made from jelly and sponge," says the man behind the counter.

The legionaries move on, but as they look down the rows of stalls, they can see that every single stall is selling exactly the same thing, and as they move along, asking for water, they get the same response every time.

Finally, one of the stall-holders takes pity on them, and tells them about an oasis not far away, so they leave the market, and head for the oasis.
As they're leaving, one of the legionaries turns to his partner, and says "Hmmm. That was a trifle bazaar."

7658

Game Blog / Re: 10 Missed Mario Kart Features

« on: April 11, 2008, 11:10:10 AM »

I think the floating blocks are a lot better than the floor blocks, but I definitely miss coins and feathers. I don't like lives, though. I've always thought having lives in a racing game detracts a lot from the realism, and really, not having the lives system makes it harder to get a perfect score, since you have to accept the points, or lack thereof, that you got on your first try, instead of getting to retry to be in the top four.

SMK's CPU special items certainly added an interesting flavor to the game, if a rather unfair one. I'd rather see DD's special items come back, whether or not they're character exclusive. Baby Park on MKDS just wasn't as fun without the giant bananas and Bowser shells.

7659

Game Blog / Re: Mario Kart Wii Bundle in Europe?

« on: April 09, 2008, 12:35:48 PM »

On the one hand, I have a hard time seeing Nintendo doing a price cut with demand still as high as it is.

On the other hand, if they don't have a price cut soon, the 360'll be cheaper. And Microsoft is rumored to be making their own Wiimote.

7660

General Chat / Re: Your Favorite Joke

« on: April 09, 2008, 12:32:42 PM »

This one's worse.

David was a chef for a large catering company. He enjoyed his work with the other chefs, but often liked to relax by going to the zoo. He particularly enjoyed the three-toed sloth which absolutely fascinated him. He would stand and watch it for hours, just hanging there, ever so infrequently making just the tiniest movement. He found it incredibly relaxing. So relaxing, in fact, that when a friend from the catering company complained that work was stressing him out he suggested they go to the zoo to watch the sloth and relax. This caught on among the chefs, and soon more and more of them would go to watch the sloth on weekends and days off.

Eventually David organised a day out for the company at the zoo, and all the chefs were standing in front of the sloth's area, watching it and relaxing. Suddenly, with no warning, the sloth lost its grip on the vine from which it had been hanging - it hit the ground heavily and rolled down a shallow slope into the moat at the edge of its pen, and to the surprise and horror of the gathered chefs the water began to bubble and steam furiously, until the sloth was well and truly roasted.

David suddenly realised what had happened.

"Oh, no!" he shouted, "We should have known better! Everyone knows too many cooks boil the sloth!"

7661

General Chat / Re: Your Favorite Joke

« on: April 08, 2008, 09:43:04 PM »

Well, have pun with this one!

...

Sorry.


Tired of being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife and arranging to have her killed.

A "friend of a friend" put him in touch with a nefarious underworld figure, who went by the name of "Artie." Artie explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $5,000. The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money.

Artie insisted on being paid in part up front. The man opened up his wallet and displayed the single dollar bill that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, and reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.

A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Safeway grocery store. There, he surprised her in the produce department and proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath and slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the scene. Unwilling to leave any witnesses behind, Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.

Unknown to Artie, the entire proceeding were captured by hidden cameras and observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could leave the store.

Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the sordid plan, including his financial arrangements with the hapless husband.

And that is why, the next day in the newspaper, the headline declared: "Artie chokes two for a dollar at Safeway."

7662

Mario Chat / Re: Mario Party 9?

« on: April 08, 2008, 03:14:56 PM »

Geno cameoed in Superstar Saga, Smithy has no justification to appear again (he had never been in the Mushroom World before his arrival in SMRPG, and he died at the end), PM and TTYD characters had Catch Cards in SPM, and Dimentio, Pixls, etc. haven't been around long enough to expect another appearance yet (not to mention that they'll probably have some mention in Paper Mario 4). The only real one-shot characters are Count Cannoli and Mallow.

7663

Mario Chat / Re: Mario Kart Wii spoilers

« on: April 08, 2008, 03:04:37 PM »

I still say they should have had Donkey Kong, Cranky Kong, Donkey Kong Jr., and Baby Donkey Kong, just to completely throw off Kong genealogists. Of course, the co-presence of Bowser and Skeleton Bowser is probably mindscrewing enough for now.

Maybe in Mario Party 9, Bowser will be playable and Skeleton Bowser will be the bad guy.

7664

General Chat / Re: Your Favorite Joke

« on: April 08, 2008, 09:18:57 AM »

There was once a handyman who had a dog named Mace. Mace was a great dog except he had one weird habit: he liked to eat grass - not just a little bit, but in quantities that would make a lawnmower blush. And nothing, it seemed, could cure him of it.
One day, the handyman lost his wrench in the tall grass while he was working outside. He looked and looked, but it was nowhere to be found. As it was getting dark, he gave up for the night and decided to look the next morning.
When he awoke, he went outside, and saw that his dog had eaten the grass all in the area, around where he had been working, and his wrench now lay in plain sight, glinting in the sun.
Going out to get his wrench, he called the dog over to him and said, "A grazing Mace, how sweet the hound, that saved a wrench for me!"

7665

Game Blog / Re: Iwata Asks: Mario Kart Wii Explains Series Origin

« on: April 07, 2008, 05:43:18 PM »

While I'm 98% expecting Rosalina, I would not be entirely surprised if it was Dino Piranha, as a partner for Petey. That would be stupid, though.

Still hoping for Pauline and Stanley.