Lizard Dude LIVE

The following story is true. No names have been changed to protect the innocent. Except my name isn't Lizard Dude. But never mind that. On with the show.
A long, long time ago in a school far, far away:
Christmas time. A time for presents. A time for relatives. A time for the HHS annual Talent Show. The first two were fine. But the talent show was in trouble. You see, for some reason not many people had signed up. With only six acts the executive producer didn't think that it would be worth the time or effort to produce.
Enter me. Average dude on the street. No, the other street. Normally the talent show is fairly entertaining but I wouldn't really miss it if it were suddenly canceled. But this year, this year was different. I reeeeeeeeaaaaaly wanted to see the talent show this time. Not to go into it much, but my brother had a superb Michael Jackson act that needed to be exibited before the world.
So...what to do? Well, the more acts the more chance of a non-canceled show so I walked in and signed myself up with no actual plan for an act. Soon after I realized that I needed a talent to be in the talent show - population: 6 + me. After thinking about what I could do for a bit, only three options seemed feasible.
Option #1: Play bass guitar in some sort of band.
Option #2: Play accordian and dress like a little Dutch boy and do funny polka/Scandanavian things.
Option #3: Play something on piano.
Number 1 would be pretty hard since the show was in two weeks and getting a bunch of people to adequetely learn some song is not my idea of a fun time. Choice 2 was possible, but I didn't have anything really cool to play on accordian so it would maybe go over good with the crowd but it wouldn't give me the warm fuzzy feeling I was looking for.
Using deductive logic, we're left with option #3. Ah, piano. Facet of my life for eight years. So I have some skill at it by now. It looked like the best choice. Okay, that's settled, but what to play? Hmm, four minute time limit - can't do something classical and long. That would bore the crowd anyway. Hrm, nothing short and uninteresting would do either. I need something that will not neccessarily win over the judges but WILL neccessarily win over the crowd. (That's my performance mentality anyway...) Then, inspiration struck when my thoughts (as they often do) drifted to Mario. Ah Ha! A video game music show! That would be great!
So the great preparations began. Actually, they weren't so great. I already knew many songs so I basically had to figure out which ones to play and how to fit them together and all that other transitional rot. After a little deliberation, I set the following program:
1. The Legend of Zelda theme
2. Super Mario Bros. Underworld theme
3. Super Mario Bros. Underwater theme
4. Super Mario Bros. Invincibility theme
5. Super Mario Bros. 2 Overworld theme

I tried to stick to halfway recognizable songs over songs that I may have liked more and didn't include the SMB Overworld theme because it wasn't in good shape and I didn't have enough time to whip it up. I like to play the exact notes and not just arrangements, which makes SMB Overworld pretty hard since it was written for three sine waves instead of human hands. Oh well. Blame Koji.
So now the music was settled but further inspiration hit me. Why not dress in a Mario costume? That would be cool! One pair of $30 overalls, mom's red shirt, brown boots, red hat with circled "M", and giant black mustache later, I WAS Mario. Bring on the Goombas.

[Two weeks pass]

It's talent show day. Somehow, it's grown into a 17 act monstrosity. I'm act 13. Lucky. My brother's act 9. His act goes well. The crowd loves the crotch-grabbing/moonwalking action. Acts 10-12 pass. My turn.
I run out from backstage, do a Super Mario jump, flash the Super Mario "V" sign, and head for the piano. Hmm, they didn't bring a piano bench out. Thinking quick, I wave-a my hands and yell out, "A-momma mia!" Crowd goes wild. The MC/Previously mentioned Executive Producer brings out a bench. I get down to business.
Songs 1-2 go well. Crowd slightly quiet on Zelda but goes crazy for Underground, as expected. During the Underwater, however, things got a little crazy. Unbeknowenst to me, some kid whose nickname is apparently "Luigi" jumps onstage and starts doing a crazy, uh, mime(?) dance. That's right. Mime dance. I was slightly puzzled as to why the crowd starting yelling "Luigi!" but continued. He left in the middle of that same song. I finished the act successfully and left with a half-standing ovation.
My brother didn't place but I, with my act created only to "save" the show that actually didn't end up needing saving, took second place and got $30. All in a good day's work for Mario.

Epilogue
If anyone wants to see the talent show, I have it recorded on many different formats.
Here's a list: VHS, MPEG, photos, GIF, JPEG
Maybe if Deezer felt the need he'd put up a few pictures or video clip or something. (Hint: Deezer, post here if you want to) Anyway, just ask if you want something and I'll try to accomodate.

"I''m a stupid fatty and I love to play with my Easy Bake oven!"