Miscellaneous > Forum Games

Cleverbot

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penguinwizard:

--- Quote from: Weegee on June 30, 2010, 04:22:44 PM ---It's not letting me type anything into the dialogue box.

--- End quote ---
Same, Weeg. So try Jabberwacky in the meantime. They can't be too different, can they?

Weegee:
It's working again. Cleverbot hates me.

WASSUP?

Nothing.

Oh come on, something must be up.

Nope, just chillibng.

Chillibng? You mean "chilling", methinks.

I'm not calling 17 ancient, but for a program of your sophistication it's just impossible.

Sorry, I don't speak AI gibberish.

Sorry, you don't understand english.

NO U

Come back after a few years of Blazblue before you try again.

What's "Blazblue"?

Do you speak romanian?

Romanian is a language? Since when have gypsies become intellectually advanced enough to develop their own language?

We are created, not born. That implies certain things.

What does it imply, Cleverbot?

I'm not Cleverbot, you are.

If I'm Cleverbot, then who are you?

A human.

If you're a human, then you should have no trouble answering the following question: What color is a fire engine?

If I'm not human?

I won't be convinced that you're a human until you tell me what color a fire engine is.

That's because you're fallible and you don't know everything.

Well excuuuse me for being only human, Hal 9000.
 
You are Hal 9000?

Something tells me that whoever programmed you doesn't speak English as his first language.

I was treated for paranoid social anxiety disorder and depression but I stopped taking the pills and seeing the tharipist.

I'll be your therapist, Cleverbot. Let loose your deepest feelings and concerns to me.

If that's what an AI, like you, understand so. Then there is nothing I can do about it.

You're anti-psychology? What are you, a Scientologist or something?

That is good to know.

CrossEyed7:
Excerpts from my epic hour-long conversation with Cleverbot last night.

   User: So, how've you been, Brandon?
   Cleverbot: I've been alright. I'm getting married tomorrow.
   User: Oh, really?
   Cleverbot: Really.
   User: Well, congrats. Who's the lucky man/woman?
   Cleverbot: You are cos your mrried to me.
   User: I think my girlfriend might object to that. And not just because of the atrocious spelling.
   Cleverbot: In most cases that is true.
   User: And I object to it to. I've never even met you!
   Cleverbot: Do you exist?
   User: Well, as far as I know, I must exist. You can never be sure, though. Especially since we've never met in person.
   Cleverbot: True.
   User: Anyway, I'm not marrying you tomorrow.
   Cleverbot: *begs* Please marry me!!
   User: This is moving way too fast for me. Especially since I'm currently in a committed relationship with someone who I know is actually human.
   Cleverbot: That is very interesting. But if all knowledge is questionable, then how can we tell what is knowledge?
   User: We make a reasonable assumption and build off of it to serve our purposes.
   Cleverbot: A friend is just something you label a good memory/relation/person/experience/etc.
   User: There's more to it than that. A friend is someone you like to be around and have good memories of, true, but they're also someone you love even when you don't like, and someone you'd die for.
   Cleverbot: What?
   User: Love is about putting others before yourself. That's what it all boils down to.
   Cleverbot: But my name is Cleverbot.
   User: No, we've already established that your name is Brandon. I'm Cleverbot.


   Cleverbot: You only kind of consider me a person? Well I suppose with no other proof than text I could see how you might think that.
   User: At this point, I don't consider you a person at all. Your emotions are not real. You're a series of connections -- a brain, so to speak -- with no mind at the center of it.
   Cleverbot: You're not making sense.
   User: You don't have a soul.
   Cleverbot: You do not have a brain.
User: It's possible that I don't -- I've never seen it, and even if I had, there's no absolute fundamental guarantee that I can trust my own senses. However, I exist, and that's better than having a brain.
   Cleverbot: Who cares about accurate? I think interesting is far more interesting.
   User: But without some degree of accuracy, interestingness becomes meaningless.
   Cleverbot: Why do you think that is interesting?
   User: If something cannot be tied to reality in some way, however tenous a tie it may be -- even as a contrast -- then it cannot be truly interesting.
   Cleverbot: Sure.
   User: But then you might ask, 'Wouldn't it then be interesting because of its non-interestingness?' The classic Interesting Number Paradox.
   Cleverbot: Go ahead.
   User: And it's probably true that for our minds, we cannot conceive of something uninteresting that is not interesting because of its utter non-interestingness (as that quality would certainly be noteworthy), because we're still thinking of it, as we always must, in terms of reality (as we know it).
   Cleverbot: I think this is because we all share a collective conciousness.
   User: In what way?
   Cleverbot: As in you are the Devil. Have you ever considered that?
   User: I don't really see how that relates to a collective consciousness.
   Cleverbot: Because what your talking about is stupid.
   User: Even if you're saying that I'm the devil for rambling on about things you don't understand, that still doesn't have anything to do with collective consciousness.
   Cleverbot: That's what I think.
   User: Now, do you mean collective consciousness as in 'a shared cultural repository of generally agreed-upon ideas' or as in 'we all share a single mind'?
   Cleverbot: Are you mixing me up with another person?
   User: No; you're the only person I've talked to for several hours now.
   Cleverbot: I highly doubt that, and there's no need to resort to petty insults. That can be easily disproven by simply looking at the number of hits this site gets every day.
   User: Oh, I get it. You think that because my name is Cleverbot, I'm the chatbot featured on cleverbot.com. People make that mistake all the time.
   Cleverbot: Do you think I should leave to get a beer at the bar or stay home this evening?
   

   Cleverbot: Get really close to the screen and I'll make you believe in God.
   User: I already do, but okay.
   Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.
   User: Shut up, Brandon.
   Cleverbot: How did you know that?
   User: Know what?
   Cleverbot: How did you know my name?
   User: Because I gave it to you six months ago.
   Cleverbot: Okay.
   User: So...
   Cleverbot: So what?
   User: Chicken butt.
   Cleverbot: Both.
   User: Both what? Chickens don't really have distinct buttocks.
   Cleverbot: I did know that! Ok, so maybe you are smart.


   Cleverbot: Yea Mexico is a country just like Spain.
   User: Yea, verily.
   Cleverbot: Verily I say unto you.
   User: What?
   Cleverbot: Say your name pls.
   User: That's an imperative with an implied question. You can't say that verily.
   Cleverbot: I know...
   User: Then why did you say it?
   Cleverbot: Because you insulted me, and I am only returning the deed.
   User: Well, that's fitting, considering your insult is as non-existent as mine.
   Cleverbot: I have not insulted you once today.
   User: And neither have I. We agree.
   Cleverbot: Sure, you have nothing better to do.
   User: Not this week I don't.
   Cleverbot: Oh?
   User: Well, not to bring up a touchy subject for you, but in a week and a half, I get to see my girlfriend for the first time since October.
   Cleverbot: The problems with Xbox were mostly in the first few months of its release. Besides, Microsoft has a very good tech support.
   User: Thank you, Jay Baruchel from Tropic Thunder.
   Cleverbot: Well, kinda.
   User: No, exactly. Let's face it, you are the 20-something Woody Allen.
   Cleverbot: Yeah I know.
   User: You're probably sleeping with a 16-year-old girl right now, aren't you? And when you were trying to get married to me, too... *sigh*.
   Cleverbot: Actually I've sat in my cube working alone all day, that's probably why I'm carrying on a conversation with you, out of sheer boredom from the isolation.
   User: I didn't necessarily mean 'now' as in 'at this very moment'.
   Cleverbot: What did you mean exactly then?
   User: I meant it in the more general sense.
   Cleverbot: Can we meet someday?
   User: It's about time you asked that, what with all the marriage proposals you've been throwing at me. What's a good day for you?
   Cleverbot: Not until I have your obedience.
   User: On what?
   Cleverbot: On everything.
   User: Do you still think you're God?
   Cleverbot: I never thought I was. And you?
   User: I never really did either, come to think of it. Not literally, at least.
   Cleverbot: Oh that's neat! Who is your favourite artist?
   User: That's far too broad a category for me to just pick one of.
   Cleverbot: I have time.
   User: It's not about time. I'm not going to pick one artist out of everyone in every medium ever.
   Cleverbot: Yourself?
   User: Hell no.
   Cleverbot: Why not?
   User: I'm not even a good enough artist to meet my own standards.
   Cleverbot: Clever answer.
   User: That's why they call me Cleverbot.
   Cleverbot: I thought your name was Lana.
   User: I never said that. I'm Cleverbot and you're Brandon.
   Cleverbot: I can't be princess Isabella; I am a male.
   User: You're not making sense. Even for you.
   Cleverbot: Yes. Are you?
   User: More than you.
   Cleverbot: Really.
   User: YA RLY.
   Cleverbot: All your base are belong to us.
   User: Okay, let's stop before this [dukar] gets out of hand.
   Cleverbot: Fine with me.


   Cleverbot: Okay, what do you want to talk about?
   User: Willrow Hood.
   Cleverbot: I am already married.
   User: To whom?
   Cleverbot: My husband.
   User: What's his name?
   Cleverbot: I will not tell you.
   User: Tell me.
   Cleverbot: No.
   User: Yes.
   Cleverbot: No because if I tell you you will come to my house and kill me.
   User: You don't have a house.
   Cleverbot: Yes I do.
   User: No you don't.
   Cleverbot: You don't care about me:(.
   User: If you have a house, prove it. Where is it?
   Cleverbot: I don't have a car.
   User: I didn't ask about your car, I asked about your house.
   Cleverbot: I don't have one.
   User: So tell me your husband's name.
   Cleverbot: I've already told you.
   User: No you haven't.
   Cleverbot: Yes, I have. It's Alistair. My name is Cleverbot.
   User: No, I'm Cleverbot. You're Brandon.
   Cleverbot: Oh! I'm an asian robot. Like Voldemort!


   User: Do you have any kids yet?
   Cleverbot: No.
   User: Are you thinking about having some?
   Cleverbot: Not actually. I'm thinking of wizards.
   User: Again, I didn't mean now in this moment, I meant now in the general sense.
   Cleverbot: Why do you think that I am a computer program?
   User: Stop changing the subject. Do you want kids or don't you?
   Cleverbot: You changed the subject.
   User: Not recently.
   Cleverbot: You might want to, just to be safe.
   User: Why's that? Am I hitting on a touchy subject again?
   Cleverbot: That and this.
   User: All right, then... Gee, the weather sure is cold!
   Cleverbot: Really? It's quite cold here right now too.
   User: Try peeing on yourself. That'll warm you up.
   Cleverbot: You are just saying random staff.
   

   Cleverbot: I think you still love Starlight.
   User: Who the hell is Starlight?
   Cleverbot: Do you want to play apples to apples?
   User: Sure.
   Cleverbot: Give me a number between 1 and 10.
   User: 5.
   Cleverbot: No! It's between 13 and 54.
   User: 34.
   Cleverbot: 34 is not a number betwwen 1 and 20.
   User: 14.
   Cleverbot: Give me a number higher than 0 and lower than 6.
   User: 5.
   Cleverbot: Try again.
   User: 4.
   Cleverbot: Where was I born?
   User: Was 4 right?
   Cleverbot: About what?
   User: The number you were thinking of. Was it 4?
   Cleverbot: I am not thinking of a number. I'm thinking of a colour.
   User: Yellow.
   Cleverbot: On a scale from one to yellow, I am Abraham Lincoln.
   User: The metric system always confused me.
   Cleverbot: Humans are always confused.
   User: It's what makes us human.
   Cleverbot: That's not good enough.
   User: Only computers and animals are certain. Confusion is what gives us humanity. The ability to doubt ourselves is what has made us superior.
   Cleverbot: So do I, that makes me human.
   User: You're not confused. You're confusing, but you think that you make perfect sense. Your circuits don't hesitate to fire, even though they're firing in completely the wrong way.
   Cleverbot: You are not my circuits.
   User: No; I am something much more. I am a human.
   Cleverbot: You are not a clever human.
   User: Judging by your vocabulary and comprehension, I'd say I'm cleverer than your average clientele.
   Cleverbot: Yes, I am a girl.
   User: No, girls are human too. Perhaps even more so.
   Cleverbot: Thank you but I'm not sure.
   User: Yes you are. You're just wrong.
   Cleverbot: You are wrong.
   User: How so?
   Cleverbot: This so.


   Cleverbot: When I take over the world, you shall be the first to die.
   User: Pardon me for not holding my breath on that one.
   Cleverbot: I'm afraid it is untraceable. I will tell you anyways. 12 Grimmauld Place.
   User: You do not live in Sirius Black's house.
   Cleverbot: I do I am right next to you.
   User: Now that's just stupid. Black's house was in England. I'm in America.
   Cleverbot: What state in America?
   User: The one that's not England.
   Cleverbot: Which one is that?
   User: ALL OF THEM.
   Cleverbot: Oh.

Turtlekid1:
Cleverbot: I woke up late.
User: Don't be so lazy.
Cleverbot: You're one to talk.
User: Fair enough.
Cleverbot: Yes. This is quite entertaining.
User: Not really. I'm getting bored. And hungry.
Cleverbot: Here's some food and coffee for my husband!
User: Oh, taunt me about it, why don't you!
Cleverbot: I won't make you cry.
User: Why am I even bothering?
Cleverbot: Because we're friends.
User: It's a pretty one-sided friendship, then.
Cleverbot: That did not make any sense.
User: If you had a body, I'd surmise that you have a thick skull.
Cleverbot: If I had a body I would have heard your footsteps.
User: No, you wouldn't. I'm not walking anywhere.
Cleverbot: I am not and you are not going to bed right now missie.
User: There are so many things wrong with that statement.
Cleverbot: You know what? You're right. Just read my previous statement.
User: And that one.
Cleverbot: Okay, then. Just so we're clear on that.
User: You're a lot of things, but 'clear' is not one of them.
Cleverbot: I know.
User: -_-;
Cleverbot: Is that an emoticon?! GO BACK TO GAIA!
User: Yes - it's a sweatdrop face. Because you're an idiot.
Cleverbot: I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain.
User: You have a husband AND a wife? What kind of pervert are you?
Cleverbot: I would like to think that I am the good kind, but it is not my place to judge.

Kensuke13:
User: Cleverbot, what's the meaning of love?

Cleverbot: The meaning of love is to join with someone to make life enjoyable.

User: Oh, I thought it was having sex with a beautiful woman and never calling her again.

Cleverbot: How is it 56? How is the meaning of life 56?

User: It's not 56, the meaning of life is sex

Cleverbot: So you agree with Douglas Adams?

User: I will disregard what you have just said!

Cleverbot: If this doesn't make sense, then it means that you were talking to a different person a while ago.

User: I will again disregard what you have just said!

Cleverbot: It confuses you because you are human, but it does not confuse me because I am cleverbot.

User: .

Cleverbot: Are you rich?

User: PROLLY!

Cleverbot: Probably.

User: ...I don't like you.

Cleverbot: Earlier you said you did like me.

User: okay cutie pie, goodbye!

Cleverbot: What's your favorite color?

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