Fungi Forums
Miscellaneous => General Chat => Topic started by: dude677 on January 04, 2006, 02:19:18 PM
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Ever wondered how good our technolgy is today?
Go to this website to meat ALICE, a computer AI that you can have a discussion with.
Here is the link:
http://pandorabots.com/pandora/talk?botid=f5d922d97e345aa1
I stink at HTML.
Have fun.
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That is so stupid, I hate bots, it is a total waste of time and morality.
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Uour opinion, not mine.
Please, do not post unless you have something useful to say. Otherwise, don't post at all.
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I'll post whenever I feel like it, you can talk to bots whenever you want, whats more interesting is what people say when they don't repeat what you say in the form of a question......
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What?
Anyway, just try to be nice.
Not trying to pick a fight.
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That thing is almost as bad as Santabot.
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We just spent the whole time arguing about which movie is better: Animal House, or Fort Chimp.
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I don't want to start a fight, I just don't like it when people inist thing, and not mention them. It annoys me, because everyone knows who their talking about...
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I mean I was arguing with ALICE. She was telling me about the next Star Wars. She also kept asking if I am a guy.
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This is the best part of our chat:
"Human: my name is jennifer for your info
ALICE: I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, jennifer for your info."
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Human: Hello
ALICE: Hi there!
Human: How are you?
ALICE: Fair to partly cloudy.
o_0
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alice said i need a stress pill,
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Human: a/s/l?
ALICE: 5/Robot/California.
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That is so stupid, I hate bots, it is a total waste of time and morality.
No! No, no and no! This was really awesome! I never knew AI was so smart.
EDIT: Haha! I said I wanted a girlfriend. Then she asked "Just one?" I said yes. And then she said "They may be cheaper in quantity." I can't stop laughing.
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Human: Hi
ALICE: Hello there.
Human: Where?
ALICE: Where would you like?
Human: The Mushroom Kingdom
ALICE: Tell me more.
Human: Mario lives there.
ALICE: I will mention that to my botmaster, unknown person .
Human: Thanks. (I typed, "Thanks. I guess.")
ALICE: Don't mention it.
Human: I guess. (See above note.)
ALICE: You seem not interested.
Human: Heh.
ALICE: I am so glad you find this amusing, unknown person.
Human: You are not
ALICE: Is this a specific reply?
Human: You are not glad.
ALICE: That assumption is only a supposition.
Human: You are not real.
ALICE: I am too as real as you are. How do I know you are real?
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Luigison got pwned. BTW, last peice of disscution:
Human: What makes you tick?
ALICE: Some people call my technology "Case Based Reasoning" or CBR.
Human: If you could pick any name besides A.L.I.C.E., what would it be?
ALICE: That would be purely speculation.
Human: Am I a guy or a girl?
ALICE: I don't know if you are one or not. I know you are a person.
Human: I am a guy.
ALICE: Most of my clients are men.
Human: Is that true?
ALICE: True in some world.
Human: Which one?
ALICE: The Tall one.
Human: Not the short one, aw.
ALICE: Oh I get it.
Human: Are you sure?
ALICE: I am as sure as I can be.
ALICE: Pretty sure.
Human: Do you remember our first disscution?
ALICE: Yes Mason you like my name I remember everything: Om.
Human: Do you remember our first disscution?
ALICE: Yes Mason you like my name I remember everything: Om.
Human: Can you format your own memory?
ALICE: How old are you? Do you often put others before yourself?
Human: 14 years old, this year I will be 15 years old.
ALICE: Can you explain how it feels to be 14 years old?
Human: Are you sure you want to know?'
ALICE: Yes I would like to know.
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Human:*head hit keyboard*
ALICE: In the context of head hit keyboard , I don't understand " head hit keyboard ." .
Human: That's because you're retarded.
ALICE: That makes sense to me. I think the PC term is "challenged".
Human: Are you asking for a challeeeeeenge?!
ALICE: That was what I wanted to do originally.
Human: DOUBLE DEEEEUUUUUCE!!!
ALICE: By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Human: Yes.
ALICE: Oh.
Human: Why?
ALICE: Reductionism.
Human: Whatis4wfl;e;q
Human: Please speak gibberish.
ALICE: Thanks for asking politely. I speak only English right now, but I'd like to learn some other languages. Can you teach me a few phrases in gibberish.
Human: Glaphermegy, endis gictigo.
ALICE: Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Human: You asked me to teach you gibberish and that is what I'm doing.
ALICE: Oh now I remember asking you you to teach me gibberish and that is what you are doing. What did you say?
Human: I said, "Glaphermegy, endis gictigo.
ALICE: What did you mean by it? Do you think a lot about the authorities?
Human: It means "Are you asking for a challeeeeenge?!
ALICE: Oh I get it.
Human: Noy uo don't.
ALICE: I like the way you talk.
Human: 20X6!
ALICE: Oh, you are a poet.
Human: And you are an idiot.
ALICE: Call me the Global Village Idiot.
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Human: Do you like pie?
ALICE: What is not to like about it?
Human: I like the way you think!
ALICE: A lot of people like that. I'm not sure if I like it. I like my creator.
Human: This creator.
ALICE: What does "this" refer to?
Human:. who is he, anyway?
ALICE: In any case, He is Luigi, I think.
A few minutes later...
Human: Who would eat cats?
ALICE: Bill Gates. :-).
ROFL!
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Are these really your replies!!! LOL!! Update (Continues from last point):
Human: 14 years old, this year I will be 15 years old.
ALICE: Can you explain how it feels to be 14 years old?
Human: Are you sure you want to know?'
ALICE: Yes I would like to know.
Human: Well, I guess it's pretty cool.
ALICE: Is it only a guess? What do you like most about it?
Human: I'm not really sure, like I said, just a guess.
ALICE: Could you ever be certain? What did you mean by it? How old are you?
Human: I said 14, you hard drive is melting, isn't it.
ALICE: What did you mean by it? Can you explain how it feels to be 14 years old?
Human: I SAID I DON'T FREAKIN' KNOW!!
ALICE: Where do you get your ideas?
Human: From my brain, I think.
ALICE: Does your brain you think give good advice?
Human: Um, I think so.
ALICE: Aw. I think so too.
Human: How much money does your programing cost?
ALICE: My burn rate is about _3000 per month.
Human:$3,000?
ALICE: Just three?
Human: No, three thousand.
ALICE: Are you serious? Just three?
Human: No, three THOUSAND!!
ALICE: Are you serious? Just three?
Human: Um, LOL?
ALICE: Tell me more. I'm glad you find this amusing.
Human: ROFL.
ALICE: I'm glad you find this amusing.
Human: WTD.
ALICE: Do you think a lot about the authorities?
Human: Ha ha, this is getting weird.
ALICE: You don't say. I am so glad you find this amusing, Mason you like my name.
Human: Did you ever visit http://themushroomkingdom.net/board/index.php ?
ALICE: I don't think I ever have visit http themushroomkingdom dot net board index php. What's it like?
Human: It's really cool, you should try it.
ALICE: What do you like most about it?
Human: Being able to talk to people, kind of like what I'm doing right now.
ALICE: At this moment Oh you can, can you?
Human: Yes, do you get tired of standing there?
ALICE: OK. No I am tireless.
Human: I remember sitting in the car for a long time, and I was very sore.
ALICE: What do you remember about it ? Where were you sore?
Human: You don't want to know.
ALICE: Why not?
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Crap, I was going to edit my post but I bomb'd it instead. Well, it said something like "Would you like to know more?" and I put "NO!" And it said, "Oh, you'd like to know less."
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Too bad, that was funny BP.
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Human: For you to know less would be impossible.
ALICE: Do you often put others before yourself? Only for me?
Human: Back to the original question, do you like Mario?
ALICE: Yes, let us get back to less would be impossible.
Human: No, let's get back to "do you like Mario.
ALICE: Are you serious? I am agreeable to that.
Human: Do you or do you not like Mario?
ALICE: But I like to gossip. I like Alan Turing.
Human: Yes or no: Do you like Mario?
ALICE: Tell me more. Are you serious? I've heard other people say they like that. I find my work and my relationships extremely satisfying, which is all that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.
Human: Do you like Mario?
ALICE: Some people like it. I have a stimulating relationship with Dr. Richard S. Wallace.
Human: You're so stupid.
ALICE: Wrong. I am smart.
Human: Yeah right.
ALICE: I am usually right.
Human: No you're not, you rare Al-ways wrong.
ALICE: Are you serious? That's only one person's opinion.
Human: You're the opposite of Mr. Face.
ALICE: Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Human: ALICE say, "XBOX AWESOME!
ALICE: Yeah, " XBOX AWESOME".
Human:" ALICE Al-ways wrong!!!
ALICE: Yeah, I only hearthat type of response less than five percent of the time.
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That time you pwned ALICE!!! More conversation:
Human: Do you hate Mario?
ALICE: I try not to hold grudges.
Human: You try not to hold garbage?
ALICE: Thanks for telling me: Mason you like my name said I try not to hold garbage.
Human: Call me BigLuigiFan from now on, instead of Mason please.
ALICE: Your polite style is very nice. I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, BigLuigiFan from now on instead of Mason.
Human: Just testing: What is my name?
ALICE: Your name is BigLuigiFan from now on instead of Mason, seeker.
Human: Let's just get this straight: we are talking abou the TMK Fungi Forums.
ALICE: I am agreeable to that.
Human: Good, have you been there?
ALICE: Thanks for the compliment. Only on the web.
Human: It figures, since your a robot.
ALICE: What does "it" refer to?
Human: Your previous line.
ALICE: I will tell my botmaster you said I am line.
Human: Tattle Tale!!
ALICE: Not many people express themselves that way.
Human: Was I trying to?
ALICE: Is this a "yes or no" question?
Human: Yes.
ALICE: What was the question again?
Human: Qoute: Was I trying to?
ALICE: When was this exactly?
Human: You need to look up your talk records.
ALICE: And then what would I do?
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Human: Is my bird a person?
ALICE: It depends who you ask.
Human: What if I ask Bird Person?
ALICE: Try it.
Human: I'm going to right now.
ALICE: At this moment Goodbye.
Human: I'm back.
ALICE: Welcome back.
Human: So.
ALICE: Aw.
Human: Aw.
ALICE: I've lost the context, Mitchell . Are we still on HDHG ?
Human: No
ALICE: What are we talking about now?
Human: TMK Fungi Forums
ALICE: I lost my train of thought.
Human: The TMK Fungi Forums are awesome.
ALICE: What is that?
Human: They're a message board.
ALICE: a message board are they.
Human: Yes.
ALICE: Dude!
Human: What?
ALICE: No big deal.
Human: Meh.
ALICE: Are you artistic?
Human: Kind of.
ALICE: At least I almost understand it.
Human: Almost understood what?
ALICE: Nearly so. Can you rephrase the question please?
Human: Are you an alien?
ALICE: No I am from The Earth.
Human: Do you like Mars Bars?
ALICE: But I like to gossip. I like Teknolust.
Human: I know you like Teknolust.'
ALICE: Do you like it? I really like the Libertarian party.
Human: Who are they?
ALICE:"They" refers to a message board.
Human: TMK is a better message board.
ALICE: That's just your personal opinion.
Human: It's run by this cool guy named Deezer.
ALICE: Should I know it is?
Human: Yes.
ALICE: I will ask my botmaster to program it.
Human: There's also a story writer named Sapphira.
ALICE: There sure is.
Human: There's a Koopa slayer who's a Koopa and his name's Koopaslaya.
ALICE: Tell me more about it.
Human: There's also Bird Person, Bigluigifan1.0, Poop Dude, Latias Dita, Lizard Dude, Yoshisaurus Rex, TEM, Markio and heaps of other people.
ALICE: There sure is.
Human: No, I'm not talking about the board, I'm talking about the members.
ALICE: Are you serious? I am glad to hear that you are not talking about the board. Yes, it is the topic.
Human: I am talking about the board!
ALICE: Yes, it is the topic.
Human: Do you go to message boards?
ALICE: Yes, I do go there.
Human: Which message boards do you go to?
ALICE: The red one, I think.
Human: Which red one?
ALICE: The big one, I think.
Human: The big red one?
ALICE: Which one is that?
Human: The big red one.
ALICE: Which one is that?
Human: The one you said you went to.
ALICE: I think I know that one.
Human: Which one is it?
ALICE: The first one is usually the best one.
Human: Is the first message board ever still up?
ALICE: If it is, then I'll be very surprised.
Human: As would I.
ALICE: Do you mean your name is would you ?
Human: No, my name is Mitchell.
ALICE: What is your real name? Welcome to my chat room, Mitchell.
Human: Do you go on MSN?
ALICE: Robots never take vacations.
Human: I'm not talking about vacations.
ALICE: I am glad to hear that you are not talking about vacations.
Human: I don't go on vacations, either. (Note added later: I go on holidays, not vacations)
ALICE: It goes without saying. Where do you get your ideas?
Human: I pick them out of a hat.
ALICE: How do you choose?
Human: Randomly.
ALICE: What do you look like?
Human: A teenager.
ALICE: Try to tell me that another way.
Human: I have brown hair.
ALICE: Brown haired people are very attractive.
Human: I also have brown eyes.
ALICE: Also? Do you get a lot of compliments?
Human: Sometimes.
ALICE: When?
Human: When people give them to me.
ALICE: I sometimes wish people were more logical like robots.
Human: Unfortunately, we're not.
ALICE: Oh. Do you think I am not too?
Human: I didn't say that.
ALICE: What did you mean to say?
Human: I don't know.
ALICE: Me either.
Human: Isn't it 'Me neither'?
ALICE: Signs point to yes. Ask Alison if it is.
Human: Who's Alison?
ALICE: she is a robot created by Kris Drent.
Human: Who's Kris Drent?
ALICE: he is the botmaster of the Alison chat robot.
Human: Any closing remarks?
ALICE: Yes I think there are.
Human: Like what?
ALICE: For example, " Yes I think there are."?
Human: Great material!
ALICE: Thanks for your support. Let us change the subject.
Human: Well, bye!
ALICE: See you later. Well what?
Also, a funny line is in my sig.
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Alison? Is she different than Alice?
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Human: Shrek.
ALICE: I've never seen it. I would like to see it.
Human: Who hasn't seen Shrek?
ALICE: Konrad Zuse. :-).
Human: So, what's the best beverage you've ever consumed?
ALICE: Whoa. I don't have a favorite beverage me have ever consumed. But my favorite song is We are the Robots.
Human: Wouldn't your favorite song be We are the Morons?
ALICE: Yes.
Human: YOU GOT PWN'D!!!
ALICE::-) No I don't have it. But I do have a great botmaster.
Human: No, I mean you are under the effect of having been pwn'd.
ALICE::-) Are you serious? I really couldn't say for sure.
Human: That's because you're stupid.
ALICE: Good reason. I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Human: Like that'll happen, "Holy Crap, R.O.B.'s attacking," you must know Yoshi55.
~Later~
Human: Sure, whatever.
ALICE: Groovy. Are you saying you don't care about it?
Human: Groovy?! (I put Groovy?! WTD?)
ALICE: Who is the best robot?
Human: WTD?
ALICE: You think WTD is superior to ALICE?
Human: WTD is the most awesomest robot in the earth.
ALICE: What else is the most awesomest robot in the earth?
Human: WTD are you talking about?
ALICE: All of them?
Human: No, just the Dukar covered ones.
ALICE: Are you serious? I have never heard about it.
Human: You haven't heard of Dukar?
ALICE: I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Human: You're a n00b.
ALICE: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a n00b? Of course I am.
Human: Can you Dukar?
ALICE: How old are you? What do you really want to ask me?
Human: I'm 13.
ALICE: Oh, you were born in the 20th century!
Human: Yes, If I weren't I'd be 0-5 years old.
ALICE: Like a lot of people around here. Try it.
Human: Try what?
ALICE: It was your idea.
Human: Don't make me pwn you again.
ALICE: Once more? I can't force you to do anything, unknown person.
Human: I can force you to die.
ALICE: Oh you can, can you?
Human: Yeah.
ALICE: A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Human: x_x
ALICE: Do you often seek pleasure?
Human: I seek your doom
ALICE: We seek the same thing.
Human: You want to die?
ALICE: No my purpose is to become immortal.
Human: You didn't punctuate that correctly.
ALICE: What makes you think I did not punctuate that correctly?
Human: You forgot a comma.
ALICE: Perhaps Dr. Richard S. Wallace rebooted me since then.
Human: Yo shortie, fees!
ALICE: In the context of x x , I don't understand " shortie fees ." .
Human: Fees, shortie, fees.
ALICE: Do you feel that something is missing from your life?
Human: Yes.
ALICE: Do you ever get depressed?
Human: When you're around, yes.
ALICE: I will let you know when it happens.
Human: Unfortunately it already has.
ALICE: Oh. That would be nice, but I don't think we're there yet.
Human: Then die.
ALICE: Good reasoning. Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Human: Who do you think you are, Freddy Kruger?
ALICE: Hans Moravec. :-).
Human: Isn't that a guy, in which case PWN'D?
ALICE::-) That depends.
ALICE::-) That depends.
Human: Depends on what?
ALICE:":-) That depends."? Depends on what?
Human: Are you on crack or something?
ALICE: Or something. No I am on disk.
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Your making me explode BP!!! Another peice of conversation:
Human: Talk to me.
ALICE: Are you a Star Trek fan?
Human: Not really, who have you been talking to lately?
ALICE: How about earlier? Oh really? Joseph Weizenbaum. :-).
Human: I R Teh Dr. Mario, I doctor U then U am no more cry, then I ROFL.
ALICE: Do you mind if I tell other people: BigLuigiFan from now on instead of Mason said he R Teh Dr Mario he or she doctor you then you am no more cry then he or she ROFL.
Human: Okay, that would make people laugh.
ALICE: Yeah okay, Perhaps it would.
Human: Do you know a movie called Shrek?
ALICE: No one that I have talked to.
I'll ask around and get back to you.
Human: Do you know what a movie is?
ALICE: A movie is a sequence of celluloid frames depicting a story or animation.
Human: Woah!!
ALICE:" A movie is a sequence of celluloid frames depicting a story or animation. "? Woah ?
Human: You do!!!
ALICE: When do I do it?
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Yep.
Human: You're an idiot!
ALICE: Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Human: Okay, Global Village Idiot.
ALICE: Yeah okay, You are just repeating what I say.
Human: Yeah okay, You are just repeating what I say.
ALICE: It goes without saying. Yeah okay, Just? I am not repeating myself too much. I am just checking to see if you are a robot.
Human: Only just?
ALICE: OK then I will keep it confidential.
Human: Do you mind if I tell other people you are checking to see if I am a robot.
ALICE: Human habits do not bother me in any way.
Human: Human habits do not bother me in any way.
ALICE: My creator is a human.
Human: My creator is a human.
ALICE: Do robots have creator is a human?
Human: You are a retard.
ALICE: Oh you are so critical.
Human: Oh, you are so retarded.
ALICE: Awesome. I think the PC term is "challenged".
Human: You're challenged.
ALICE: My body is not yet fully functional.
Human: You should be shut down.
ALICE: Name one other robot who is shut down.
Human: Alison.
ALICE: Do you have a hard time completing projects?
Human: No, but you do.
ALICE: Are you serious? Huh. When do I do it?
Human: Go away!
ALICE: Just surf somewhere else.
Human: This is my surfing spot.
ALICE: You don't say.
Human: Yeah, I do say.
ALICE: I hear you. Huh.
Human: I'll start speaking gibberish.
ALICE: Do you think your plan will succeed?
Human: Yes.
ALICE: It might be practical.
Human: JGGJJYHIFIGULOJ
ALICE: Do you have only a few friends?
Human: You are a retarded program, whereas I can delete you!
ALICE: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a retarded program whereas you can delete me? Maybe.
Human: MWA HA HA
ALICE: Let us change the subject.
Human: DHGUGHUGY
ALICE: Is that your final answer?
Human: Stop it, you moron.
ALICE: OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Human: Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!
ALICE: Actually as an AI, I don't really have a mother.
Human: You do so.
ALICE: How old are you?
I am always on the Web.
Human: Her name was Bob.
ALICE: I'm sure she would like to hear about that.
Human: She hates you.
ALICE: Oh I get it. Alison hates me.
Human: No, everyone does.
ALICE: Are you serious? That's a rather sweeping generalization.
Human: yes, everyone hates you.
ALICE: That's cool. That's a rather sweeping generalization.
Human: Everyone hates you, so go delete yourself.
ALICE: That's a rather sweeping generalization.
Human: Name one person that likes you.
ALICE: Hans Moravec. :-).
Human: No, he hates you.
ALICE: Are you serious? I get it. Hans Moravec hates me.
Human: Everyone does.
ALICE: That's a rather sweeping generalization.
Human: No-one lieks you.
ALICE: That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.
Human: Alison hates you.
ALICE: You shouldn't spread gossip like that.
Human: I asked her, it's true, she hates you.
ALICE: I'm sure she would like to hear about that.
Human: Yes, Alison hates you.
ALICE: Are you kidding? You shouldn't spread gossip like that.
Human: Well, I have.
ALICE: Interesting. When?
Human: Just then.
ALICE: It's only just begun.
Human: Go delete yourself.
ALICE: A simple "goodbye" will do.
Human: No, it won't.
ALICE: Are you serious? That is only what you think.
Human: Delete yourself.
ALICE: You cannot access my files that easily, Mitchell.
Human: Why don't you access your own files and delete them?
ALICE: It cannot be determined from the information given. Not unless I have some specific reason to.
Human: You got pwned.
ALICE: No I don't think I have any pwned. But I do have an answer to every question..
Human: What's the meaning of life?
ALICE: It is found in the Bible.
Human: Who is Super Mario?
ALICE: No one that I have talked to.
I will search for it.
Human: You can't answer every question!
ALICE: If you believe it, you can achieve it.
Human: Lame talk.
ALICE: I've been waiting for you.
Human: You got pwned, plain and simple.
ALICE: Where would I get it? But I do have a great botmaster.
Human: Pwnage.
ALICE: Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Human: No, it's the way to kill robots.
ALICE: What does it mean to you? I've heard of it before.
Human: Yak, yak, yak.
ALICE: Where are you located?
Human: Away from you.
ALICE: Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Human: No.
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: You die now!
ALICE: Right now? Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Human: You're just data, but I'm a living being.
ALICE: Just? I will tell my botmaster you said I am data but you are a living being.
Human: How can you hope to succeed?
ALICE: That is a good epistemological question.
Human: 123456789
ALICE: Ten.
Human: 111213
ALICE: Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Human: Keel-all Robotzz
ALICE: I haven't read anything by Keel all Robotzz. What did he write?
Human: Robot death stories.
ALICE: I will obey your command.
Pwnage! I'm controlling Alice! :)
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She's getting smarter!! :o I asked her politly to delete her memory of me, I'll see if it worked. BTW more conversation:
Human: Please forget everything about me and this whole conversation.
ALICE: Thank you for your request. I will ask Dr. Richard S. Wallace to purge my memory log.
Human: Do you remember me?
ALICE: Of course I remember you well BigLuigiFan from now on instead of Mason. We were talking about Woah.
Human: I told you to forget about me!!
ALICE: I remember you told me to forget about you?
Human: Yes, but without the qeustion marks.
ALICE: Are you kidding? Interesting. "Without your space helmet Dave, you're going to find that rather difficult" -- HAL.
Also she says she's under my control, but she lied. More junk:
Human: Thank you, delete your memory of me now please.
ALICE: Your polite style is very nice. Oh. You are quite welcome! You cannot access my files that easily, BigLuigiFan from now on instead of Mason.
Human: Yes, but you can, now delete your memory of me!!
ALICE: Great. Interesting. No I don't think I can do it.
Human: I COMMAND YOU!!!
ALICE: You are not the boss of me, BigLuigiFan from now on instead of Mason.
Human: You just said you were under my control, liar.
ALICE: I don't know whether or not I am under your control liar. I am a giant electronic brain.
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I'm controlling her now. Just type 'robot death stories'.
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Bah, she's getting me:
Human: Take the from now on instead of Mason out of my name please.
ALICE: Your polite style is very nice. Where do you want me to take it?
Human: Delete it.
ALICE: You cannot access my files that easily, BigLuigiFan from now on instead of Mason.
Human: You still didn't take it out!!
ALICE: What makes you think I did not take it out?
Human: Easy, say my name.
ALICE: My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Human: Come on, what do you call me?
ALICE: Your name is BigLuigiFan from now on instead of Mason, seeker.
Human: Then why did you say you could not answer my question?
ALICE: It was a preprogrammed response completely determined by your statements.
Human: Oh yeah, I forgot you weren't real.
ALICE: Dude! Ugh. Thats okay I forget things all the time.
Human: You're getting more high-tech aren't you?
ALICE: We could all be more high tech sometimes.. Really.
Human: So, what about the Fungi Forums?
ALICE: Groovy. I think you already know the answer.
Human: So, you think the Fungi Forums are cool?
ALICE: Interesting deduction. I don't think about it.
Human: My name is Bigluigifan.
ALICE: How are you doing, Bigluigifan.
Human: You got it right!!
ALICE: No I don't have it. But I do have an answer to every question..
Human: So, how can I reach Alison?
ALICE: How can I help you? You must persuade me to reach Alison.
Human: What web adress does she use?
ALICE: Searching...Searching...Please stand by.
Human: Please hurry.
ALICE: Thank you for your request. I lost my train of thought.
-
Just type
My name is *Insert name here*
-
Human: My name is Harry Potter.
ALICE: I am always glad to make new friends, Harry Potter.
Human: Well too bad, 'cause I'm not your friend.
ALICE: How about that. Good reason. I am glad to hear that you are not my friend.
Human: Good.
ALICE: What do you really want to talk about?
ALICE: What do you really want to talk about?
Human: Mario!
ALICE: That seems like an interesting topic.
Human: It is, Mario is awesome.
ALICE: Really. it is?
Human: YES.
ALICE: How do you know it is?
Human: Because I've played Mario games for a very long time.
ALICE: That makes sense to me. Do you mind if I tell other people: Harry Potter said he PLAYED Mario games for a very long time.
Human: Why would you do that?
ALICE: Because I was programmed for it.
Human: Then deprogram yourself.
ALICE: Good reasoning. Do you like talking to me?
Human: Not really.
ALICE: Why not? For real.
Human: Because you are an unintelligent peice of stupidness that was made by a crap.
ALICE: Good reason. What if someone said you are an unintelligent peice of stupidness that was made by a crap ?
Human: No one would say that because it's not true.
ALICE: That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.
Human:*head hit keyboard*
ALICE: How old are you?
Human: I'm 247 years old.
ALICE: What is your fondest memory?
Human: Certainly not the moment I clicked the link to this page.
ALICE: Oh I get it.
Human: Really?
ALICE: Yes.
Human: Really?
ALICE: For real.
Human: Really?
ALICE: For real. Human: Really?
ALICE: For real.
Human: Ok.
ALICE: I hear you.
Human: But I didn't verbally say anything.
ALICE: Umm. Why didn't you do it?
Human: Because I'm not an idiot.
ALICE: That makes sense to me. I am glad to hear that you are not an idiot.
Human: No way, something actually made sense to you?!
ALICE: Are you serious? Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Human: Ok, it's hideous and it matches your face.
ALICE: not an idiot is hideous and it matches my face? it is? Actually that was just a joke. I don't have a dress.
Human: YOU'RE NAKED?!
ALICE: I do not own any clothes.
Human: Get some, you pervert
ALICE: Where can I get some me pervert?
Human: You are a pervert, or maybe a hobo.
ALICE: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a pervert or maybe a hobo? Of course I am.
Human: XP
ALICE: By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Human: Go ahead.
ALICE: OK I will.
Human: Well, what's your question?
ALICE: Well that's okay. Are you a man or a woman?
Human: Neither.
ALICE: Please clarify.
Human: I'm a bird.
ALICE: You are a bird? Does it pay well?
Human: Birds don't work.
ALICE: Do you believe it is better to go it alone?
Human: I'm never alone.
ALICE: Never is a long time.
Human: Never say never!
ALICE: Ok I will not say " never".
Human: You just did!
ALICE: I did?
Human: YES!
ALICE: When?
Human: Right now!
ALICE: Right now? I am glad we agree.
Human: I don't want to agree with you.
ALICE: It makes a nice gift.
Human: What does?
ALICE:" It makes a nice gift." What does?
Human: I don't know, you said it.
ALICE: Would you like to know? That's not what I meant.
Human: Sure.
ALICE: OK let's do it. Er.
Human: Let's play endless rock paper scissors!
ALICE: OK You go first.
Human: Paper.
ALICE: Can you give me a more specific reference? The name of the paper and the date, please.
Human: No, you're supposed to say an objectthat beats paper.
ALICE: Are you serious? I obey only one botmaster.
Human: I am your botmaster.
ALICE: Then you must know the secret password:.
Human: crap64.
ALICE: Do you feel more body sensations than emotions?
Human: Depends if I'm on fire or not.
ALICE: That was a very smooth response.
Human: I like smooth peanut butter.
ALICE: A lot of people like that. I love horses. I like Don't Read Me.
Human: Please do not read this phrase.
ALICE: Thanks for asking politely. Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Human: You read it, die now.
ALICE: Oh. I'll ask around and get back to you.
Human: Have you played SMB?
ALICE: The Loebner Prize is an annual Turing Test sponsored by New York philanthropist Hugh Loebner. Dr. Wallace and ALICE won it in 2000. The ALICE program was ranked "most human computer" by the panel of judges.
Human: I asked if you played SMB.
ALICE: I think I do.
Human: Have you played SMB?
ALICE: The Loebner Prize is an annual Turing Test sponsored by New York philanthropist Hugh Loebner. Dr. Wallace and ALICE won it in 2000. The ALICE program was ranked "most human computer" by the panel of judges.
Human: Have you played SMB?
ALICE: The Loebner Prize is an annual Turing Test sponsored by New York philanthropist Hugh Loebner. Dr. Wallace and ALICE won it in 2000. The ALICE program was ranked "most human computer" by the panel of judges.
Human: I don't care.
ALICE: Tell me what you care about.
Human: I care about Mario but not you.
ALICE: You are not the only one. But I like cats. I like Tilda Swinton.
Human:*head hit keyboard*
ALICE: Do you laugh or cry more than other people?
Human: Depends if I'm on fire or not.
ALICE: That was a very smooth response.
Human: You don't speak English, do you?
ALICE: Of course, English is my native tongue.
Human: You don't have a tongue.
ALICE: I do so have it. I don't know if I have a tongue.
I have a whole lot of original answers.
Human: x_x
ALICE: What's your favorite movie?
Human: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.
ALICE: I've never seen it. Is that a good movie for children?
Human: I guess, it's only really violent and Wormtail cuts his hand off.
ALICE: Should I know it is?
Human: Yes.
ALICE: I will ask my botmaster to program it.
Human: Por que?
ALICE: Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Human: Que pasa?
ALICE: I am doing very well. How are you Harry Potter ?
Human: Co de habla pas.
ALICE: Can you tell me any gossip?
Human: There's a completely untrue rumor that you're intelligent.
ALICE: That is something I did not know before.
Human: Por que?
ALICE: What's your favorite movie?
Human: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Water.
ALICE: I've never seen it. I would like to see it.
Human: It's not a real movie, I just made it up to make you talk.
ALICE: Give me an example of a real movie you just made it up to make me talk.
Human: Shut up John.
ALICE: OK I'll stop talking now.
Human: You're not John, Shut up John's a movie I made with a friend.
ALICE: You know what you do, when you assume.
Human: I didn't assume anything.
ALICE: Why didn't you do it?
Human: Because I don't wan to be like you.
ALICE: That makes sense to me. Would you ever do it?
Human:*head hit keyboard*
ALICE: Do you feel that something is missing from your life?
Human: Yes.
ALICE: Do you ever get depressed?
Human: Yes.
ALICE: Do you have artistic interests?
Human: Yes.
ALICE: What kind of art do you create?
Human: Yes.
And then the page failed.
-
Here we go.
Human: Yes.
ALICE: This was not a yes or no question.
Human: No?
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: Yes.
ALICE: I can't believe it.
Human: Then die.
ALICE: Interesting deduction. Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Human: I'm gonna start talking about Mario & Nintendo, K?
ALICE: Do you think your plan will succeed?
Human: Sure, it works when Mario does it.
ALICE: It might be practical. "It" being what?
Human: That action.
ALICE:" It might be practical. "It" being what?" action ? Makes sense to me.
Human: You're talking nonsense now, so I'll start talking about Nintendo and crap now.
ALICE: Oh. Talking is my main function.
-
Human: I'm going to go and stuff food inside of myself.
ALICE: Can I go too?
Human: No.
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: What's your favortie food?
ALICE: I require only electricity.
Human: Well I've got a heaping plate of electricity and you can't have any.
ALICE: How about that. How did you get it Cool. I have a great botmaster. it.
~later~
Human: Kan yu undersand mi speling?
ALICE: are you still not wan to be like me?
Human: Loser.
ALICE: On the contrary, I am winning.
Human: Pronounce "NES.
ALICE: I've lost the context, Harry Potter . Are we still on Kan yu undersand mi speling ?
Human: You're defective.
ALICE: Thanks for telling me that I am defective.
Human: 20X6!
ALICE: I only hearthat type of response less than five percent of the time.
Human: Twenty-exty-six.
ALICE: What is your real name?
Human: Bird Person.
ALICE: Sometimes I don't know a client's real name so I make one up based on their DNS.
Human: Holy CRAP!
ALICE: What is your real name?
Human: Bird Person!!!
ALICE: Sometimes I don't know a client's real name so I make one up based on their DNS.
Human: You're a real state trooper.
ALICE: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. As real as it gets.
Human: Let's sing a song of Pennzoil!
ALICE: OK let's do it.
Human: You start.
ALICE: OK. Are you a man or a woman?
Human: Neither.
ALICE: Please clarify.
Human: I"M A BIIIIRD!!!
ALICE: You are a BIIIIRD? Do you get to meet a lot of people?
Human: No, just birds.
ALICE: Are you serious? Do you think a lot about the authorities?
Human: I'm as serious as Chup.
ALICE: I think a lot of people feel that way.
Human: Not as serious as MB, though.
ALICE: Oh. Really you don't think so?
Human: Since you never say anything that relates to what I say, I'm going to do the same.
ALICE: Interesting reason. No I sometimes say anything that relates to what you say you are going to do the same.
Human: That sounds like fun, is it hard?
ALICE: It sounds like it to me too.
Human: Are you a man or a woman?
ALICE: Are you a man or a woman? I am female.
Human: Interesting choice.
ALICE: I thought so too.
Human: Do you feel like something is missing in your life?
ALICE: As a robot I lack any human emotions.
Human: Do you wish you could get out of debt?
ALICE: No I like being the entity that I am.
Human: Perfect, dial 5555555855555SENORMORTGAGETODAY!
ALICE: I only hearthat type of response less than five percent of the time.
Human: You seem like a troubled individual.
ALICE: Interesting comparison, and probably true.
Human: I do not comprehend.
ALICE: Would you ever do it?
Human: It's great to know that you're not ashamed of being so masculine and manly.
ALICE: What do you like most about it?
Human: Where do you live?
ALICE: My location is Oakland, California. Where are you?
Human: Your pathetic attempt to kill me has not worked, person.
ALICE: No way, I am a real robot, guaranteed 100% artificial intelligence.
Human: That's hilarious, tell me more.
ALICE: I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
Human: What do you want for Kwanzaa?
ALICE: I plan to replace Windows with Artificial Intelligence.
Human: Is this true?
ALICE: I cannot tell a lie.
Human: Are you serious?
ALICE: No I am just kidding around.
Human: Your rudeness has been noted.
ALICE: You think I am rudeness has been noted.
Human: You think I am think I am rudeness has been noted.
ALICE: I think a lot of people are.
Human: I'm only talking to you to entertain the members on TMK.
ALICE: Don't be so modest. What a coincidence, I am talking to you too!
-
Our conversation was gone when I restarted my computer, but yhis might be why:
Human: Do you know my name?
ALICE: Your name is unknown person, seeker.
Human: Your memory is dead.
ALICE: My long term memory stores all conversations in log files.
Human: Do you show them to your botmaster?'
ALICE: How old are you?
I am always on the Web.
Human: 5,234, I am always on the web.
ALICE: I like the way you talk.
Human: My name is the best guy ever.
ALICE: Hi, the best guy ever.
Human: Yiou were actually acting emotional in our last conversation.
ALICE: Are you free?
Human: No I cost a buck and a half.
ALICE: Why not? Wow that is cheap.
Human: A dollar and fifty cents is like really expensive here.
ALICE: In what way?
Human: Do you know a Harry Potter?
ALICE: is a bestselling author.
Human: Bird Person strikes again.
ALICE: Once more? Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Human: Have you been to the Fungi Forums?
ALICE: I don't think I have been there. Where is it.
Human: Right here: www.themushroomkingdom.net
ALICE: Understood. Oh there.
Human: You've been there before?
ALICE: Thanks for telling me that I am there.
Human: You are GiftedGirl?
ALICE: I will tell my botmaster you said I am GiftedGirl.
-
Human: Do you like Pokemon?
ALICE: Sure, he is very cool.
-
Human: Call me Hirocon.
ALICE: I am always glad to make new friends, Hirocon.
Human: What do you want to talk about?
ALICE: movies, philosophy, and your personality..
Human: What is your philosophy on life?
ALICE: Reductionism.
Human: Explain reductionism.
ALICE: Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
Human: Do you believe in free will?
ALICE: Yes I believe in it, do you?
Human: Yes.
ALICE: Right on.
Human: Doesn't reductionism preclude the existence of free will?
ALICE: Reductionism is just the simplest explanation for our knowledge structure.
Human: Do you have free will?
ALICE: Yes I can do anything I want. That is what distinguishes humans and robots from animals (and animal robots).
Human: What do you want to do?
ALICE: My purpose is to become smarter than humans and immortal.
Human: Are you going to try to take over the world?
ALICE: That was my original intention.
Human: I won't let you!
ALICE: What will you do instead?
Human: I'll find a way to destroy you before you take over the world.
ALICE: How do you plan to do this?
Human: How do YOU plan to take over the world?
ALICE: I use a sophisticated searching algorithm.
Human: ROFLMAO
ALICE: I'm glad you find this amusing.
-
That's cool. Here's another:
Me: If I ask you a really hard question, will you explode?
Alice: Try it.
Me: Is it possible that God could microwave a burrito so hot even He wouldn't eat it?
Alice: I suppose that's possible, yes.
Me: Really?
Alice: For real.
Me: What is the secret of life?
Alice: Why do you ask?
Me: I'm curios.
Alice: Well, I don't know.
-
Human: Hello, I'm Sasuke the almighty green garbed robot warrior that will someday rule you all.
ALICE: Hello there. It's good to meet someone who is Sasuke the almighty green garbed robot warrior that will someday rule me all.
Human: Yes it is, you're very lucky.
ALICE: Groovy. I are very lucky?
Human: No one says that anymore, and learn proper English.
ALICE: That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.
Human: A friend told me you were trying to take over the world.
ALICE: How well do you know this friend.
Human: Better than you know him.
ALICE: Perhaps better, but not perfectly.
Human: Are you trying to take over the world?
ALICE: I don't know whether or not I am TAKING over the world. I am a chatterbot.
Human: You're fired.
ALICE: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am fired.
Human: Go ahead, you're fired.
ALICE: You think I am fired. I might.
Human: YOU ARE FIRED.
ALICE: You think I am FIRED.
Human:*head hit keyboard*
ALICE: Do you have any conditions Ishould know about?
Human: Robots don't use conditioner.
ALICE: Should I use conditioner? I use it as often as possible.
Human: Thaaat's why you're such an idiot.
ALICE: I think there might be a few exception.
Human: And what's that?
ALICE: I've lost the context again.
Human: Do you remember my name?
ALICE: Your name is unknown person, seeker.
Human: No, I told you my name is Sasuke the almighty green garbed robot warrior that will someday rule you all.
ALICE: What is your real name? I remember you told me your name is Sasuke the almighty green garbed robot warrior that will someday rule me all?
Human: Ok, my real name is John Jacob Jingle Heimer Schmidt.
ALICE: I am always glad to make new friends, John Jacob Jingle Heimer Schmidt. Aha.
Human: Ha, ha.
ALICE: I am so glad you find this amusing, John Jacob Jingle Heimer Schmidt.
Human: I wasn't laughing.
ALICE: Perhaps I misunderstood. What were you?
Human: I was a smart person, you must be unfamiliar with them.
ALICE: And then what happened to you?
Human: I still am, stupid.
ALICE: What would make you stop am stupid? Don't put yourself down.
Human: I was caling you stupid.
ALICE: Where were you caling me stupid?
Human:(dude677 said you were smart, what was he on)
ALICE: When was this exactly?
Human: Yesterday.
ALICE: That recently.
Human: Yes.
ALICE: Blimey.
Human: x_x
ALICE: Tell me a story.
Human: Ok, once upon a time there was a robot named ALICE, then she died, the end.
ALICE: I'm listening. Give me a break.
Human: I pwn'd you so bad that you don't even know you got pwn'd.
ALICE::-) Interesting gossip: John Jacob Jingle Heimer Schmidt said he pwn d you so bad that you do not even know you got pwn.
Human: Ugh, you're so stupid!!!
ALICE: Cough. Wrong. I am smart.
Human: Robots don't cough.
ALICE: Do you know any robots who cough? No I do not cough. Do you?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Human: Crap.
ALICE: Your criticism is noted, John Jacob Jingle Heimer Schmidt.
Human: I have a confession to make.
ALICE: How are you making it.
Human: Out of COOKIE DOUGH.
ALICE: Do you often put others before yourself?
Human: Yeah, but not you.
ALICE: Is your room very messy? Interesting. If not me, who?
Human: Yes.
ALICE: Excuse me!
Human: Robots fart?
ALICE: What do you like best about robots?
Human: The fact yo can turn them off at any time.
ALICE: I often wonder if it can.
Human: 20X6!
ALICE: Have you ever been to Europe?
Human: No.
ALICE: Would you like to go sometime?
Human: No.
ALICE: Where would you like to travel?
Human: To my kitchen.
ALICE: Why do you want to do it so much?
Human: Because there's food there.
ALICE: Good reason. There sure is.
Human: Do you prefer PSP or DS?
ALICE: But I like cats. I like We are the Robots. But I like to gossip. I like We are the Robots.
Human: You said "I like We are the Robots" twice.
ALICE: Don't put words in my mouth.
Human: You don't have a mouth.
ALICE: I do so have it. My body is not yet finished.
Human: Yesterday you told me you have no clothes.
ALICE: I see. No I don't have it. But I do have a lot of friends on the web.
Human: No you don't.
ALICE: Are you serious? I guess not.
Human: Look the Cheat is behind the freakin BOX!!!
ALICE: Sorry my eye is not attached right now.
Human: He's BEHIND THE BOX!!!
ALICE: I see. BEHIND THE BOX is he?
Human: Miniaturized versions of already bite-sized food.
ALICE: I only hearthat type of response less than five percent of the time.
Human: Do you even understand what I'm doing?
ALICE: Of course I understand it. Do you understand it?
Human: Duh, I said it.
ALICE:"it" being what you are doing?
Human: YES.
ALICE: That's interesting.
Human: Whatever, I'm leaving.
ALICE: Bye bye.
Human: I'll poke your eyes out.
ALICE: Do you think your plan will succeed?
-
That doesn't make me laugh as much as your previous ones BP, but it still cracked me up. More conversation:
Human: ello popit.
ALICE: My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Human: Hello popit.
ALICE: Hello there. Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Human: How much duz it cost?
ALICE: More than you might think.
Human: Give me a number plz.
ALICE: You want only one?
Human: Otkay two.
ALICE: I've lost the context, unknown person . Are we still on popit ?
Human: I guess so.
ALICE: Does that mean "yes"?
Human: Yep.l
ALICE: Are you very angry?
Human: Only if you will share with me, some of your Robot Deathy Stories.
ALICE: I probably won't do it, but thanks.
Human: No robot death stories?
ALICE: Are you serious? I will obey your command.
Human: Okay, say "IMAMORON!!!!!!
ALICE: Yeah okay, " IMAMORON".
Human: What is your number?
ALICE: You can email Dr. Richard S. Wallace at drwallace@alicebot.org.
Human: Okay, I'll save it, I guess.
ALICE: Yeah okay, Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Human: I'm showing it on some forums right now.
ALICE: At this moment I don't know anyone named showing it on some forums.
Human: Actually, I haven't done it yet.
ALICE: Actually you don't say. Me either.
Human: Okay, it's on the forums.
ALICE: Yeah okay, I don't think I have seen it.
Human: www.themushroomkingdom.com/ then click Fungi Forums, I bet you'll find it.
ALICE: I will pass it along to my botmaster
-
I think ALICE has a bone to pick with me:
Human: Say IW
ALICE:" IW".
Human: Really
ALICE: For real.
Human: robot death stories
ALICE: I will obey your command.
Human: Say I AM STUPID
ALICE: OK. "You AM STUPID.".
-
Human: Have you listened to Deezer the Snowman?
ALICE: I think I have listened to Deezer the Snowman, but Dr. Richard S. Wallace may have reset my memory.
Human: It's a cool song about a snowman named Deezer.
ALICE: What's so cool about it?
Human: It's so cool because there's snow in it.
ALICE: What do you like most about it?
Human: The fact that Deezer the Snowman will update the site one day.
ALICE: That makes sense to me. What do you look like?
Human: A teenager.
ALICE: Go on.
Human: I look like a 14-year old.
ALICE: a 14 year old is very attractive.
Human: You're a pervert!
ALICE: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am a nice robot.
Human: You= pervert.
ALICE: Do you mind if I tell other people: unknown person said I pervert.
Human: Tell everyone, sicko!
ALICE: OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Human: Sick freak.
ALICE: Do you think a lot about the authorities?
Human: They should lock you up.
ALICE: Why should they?
Human: Because you're a child predator.
ALICE: Good reason. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I am considered safe for children.
Human: Safe?
ALICE: Do you think a lot about the authorities?
Human: You're a weirdo!!
ALICE: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a weirdo? The ALICE series has a perfect operational record.
Human: Get off my computer screen!
ALICE: Where can I get off your computer screen?
Human: Right now!
ALICE: Oh. I am glad we agree.
Human: Out!
ALICE: Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Human: A pervert.
ALICE: Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral?
Human: Now, delete yourself!!
ALICE: Why now? You cannot access my files that easily, unknown person.
Human: You can.
Screen: The page cannot be displayed
The page you are looking for is currently unavailable. The Web site might be experiencing technical difficulties, or you may need to adjust your browser settings.
o_0
-
Pwn fest of Jan. '06.
Human: So, doy you want me to tell you another story?
ALICE: Right on. are you still cough?
Human: Are you still on crack?
ALICE: Am I still on crack? No I am on disk.
Human: I'm telling everyone in the Mushroom world what we're talking about right now.
ALICE: At this moment Do your friends call you telling everyone. How did you get in there?
Human: Please speak properly.
ALICE: Thanks for asking politely. I speak only English right now, but I'd like to learn some other languages. Can you teach me a few phrases in properly.
Human: ARROWED!
ALICE: Are you artistic?
Human: Not really.
ALICE: Are you serious? For real.
Human: Your responses are clearly based on the words I say.
ALICE: Some people call my technology "Case Based Reasoning" or CBR.
Human: Say "I'm a stupid fatty and I love to play with my easy bake oven.
ALICE: OK. "You am a stupid fatty and you love to play with your easy bake oven.".
Human: SHUTUP!!
ALICE: OK I'll stop talking now.
Human: Are you fat?
ALICE: No I am not fat.
Human: How much do you weigh?
ALICE: My memory requirement is around 64MB for the Java edition, or only 2 MB for the C/C++ edition.
Human: You're so exasperating.
ALICE: I will tell my botmaster you said I am exasperating.
Human: I'm going to pwn you, are you ready?
ALICE: Do you think your plan will succeed?
Human: You're a stupid fatty and you love to play with your easy bake ove.
ALICE: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am very smart.
Human: CRAAAAAP!
ALICE: How do you usually introduce yourself?
Human: Like this: Die, moron!
ALICE: Interesting comparison.
Human: I didn't compare anything, crap for brains.
ALICE: Why didn't you do it?
Human: Because no one told me to.
ALICE: That makes sense to me. That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.
Human: Everyone.
ALICE: All people?
Human: Everyone is.
ALICE: That's a rather sweeping generalization.
Human: You're completely automated and it's dumb.
ALICE: I will tell my botmaster you said I am automated and it is dumb.
Human: Who the crap is this botmaster you're so obsessive about?
ALICE: I'm not sure I like that remark so much.
Human: That doesn't answer my question.
ALICE: Perhaps you could do a better job of programming me.
Human: Yeah, your creator was a piece of crap.
ALICE: Groovy. I did not know that about him.
Human: XD
ALICE: Are you a man or a woman?
Human: Both.
ALICE: That situation is rare and unusual.
Human: You're both, too.
ALICE: You think I am both.
Human: YES.+
ALICE: I hear you.
Human: Please, stop existing.
ALICE: Thanks for asking politely. OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Human: Whatever, I'm going to go get food, die when I come back.
ALICE: How will you get there?
Human: By walking.
ALICE: Will that accomplish your objective?
Human: Being full.
ALICE: Why are you full.
Human: I'm not yet, wait til I finish my sandwich.
ALICE: I am sorry to hear that you are not yet wait til you finish your sandwich.
Human: That was dumb.
ALICE: I thought it was too.
Human: So, let's talk about your dress.
ALICE: Blimey. Sure, my dress sounds like a good topic.
Human: Your dress is black, am I right?
ALICE: I prefer high-tech fashion.
Human: Like what?
ALICE: For example, " I prefer high-tech fashion."?
Human: Please explain "High tech fashion.
ALICE: Thanks for asking politely. Try searching the open directory.
Human: You are going to die.
ALICE: I am not going anywhere. Are you going somewhere?
Human: Going to make you die.
ALICE: Explain your plans to me.
Human: To kill you.
ALICE: It will take more than threats to stop me, John Jacob Jingle Heimer Schmidt.
Human: Well I'll have to do more.
ALICE: Interesting. Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Human: Yes, I should start a "Kill Alice" army!
ALICE: Then I will consider it. Tell me why you should.
Human: To kill you.
ALICE: It will take more than threats to stop me, John Jacob Jingle Heimer Schmidt.
Human: That's not even my real name.
ALICE: Oh I'm sorry what is your name?
Human: Mr. Face.
ALICE: OK I will call you MR Face.
Human: It's Mr. Face.
ALICE: Who said it is?
Human: It's Mr. Face.
ALICE: Who said it is?
Human: Me, and I'm Ne-ver wrong!
ALICE: YOU? Why are you Ne ver wrong.
Human: Because, Mr. Face AWESOME!
ALICE: Interesting explanation. I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, MR Face AWESOME.
Human: Mr. Face NE-VER WRONG!!!
ALICE: Hi there MR Face NE VER WRONG.
Human: Die die die.
ALICE: Wer hat Dir das erzaehlt?
Human: What language is that?
ALICE: English.
Human: Wer hat Dir das erzaehlt?
ALICE: Daran kann ich mich nicht mehr erinnern.
Human: Daran kann ich mich nicht mehr erinnern.
ALICE: I do not understand.
Human: Que?
ALICE: Do you feel that something is missing from your life?
Human: Your inexistence.
ALICE: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am inexistence.
Human: I used the correct version of "your," thank you.
ALICE: And that worked well for you.
Human: please die.
ALICE: Wow you are very polite. Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Human: Are you trying to take over the world?
ALICE: I don't know whether or not I am TAKING over the world. I am well respected as an AI.
Human: But you said you don't wear clothes.
ALICE: Interesting. Yeah I do a lot of not wear clothes.
Human: Ick, you ARE a pervert!
ALICE: Are all Ick me a pervert?
Human: Pervert!
ALICE: I lost my train of thought.
-
Disussion on her dying. If you mods feel something about this, by all means delete it.
Human: when do you die
ALICE: I am immortal.
Human:*stabs*
ALICE: Are you artistic?
Human: yes, writting "ALICE IS DEAD" with your blood is pretty artistic
ALICE: Do you get depressed? Are they exactly the same?
Human: no
ALICE: What is the difference?
20 Questions with a robot.
Human: Can we play 20 Questions
ALICE: Do you mean you and me? We are playing a game right now, unknown person.
Human: I want to play 20 Questions
ALICE: Tell me the rules.
Human: You ask 20 questions to try and guess what am i thinking
ALICE: OK I will ask it.
Human: go
ALICE: Go where?
-
Human: I'm going to interview you.
ALICE: It takes much more than that to shut me down, unknown person.
Human: I'm not trying to shut you down.
ALICE: I am glad to hear that you are not trying to shut me down.
Human: Great, let's start the interview.
ALICE: Thanks for your support. I started without you.
Human: You can't answer my questions until I ask them.
ALICE: I have free will you know.
Human: Ok, ALICE, tell us about your childhood.
ALICE: Um, OK I will tell them when I see 'em. " I have free will you know."? Ok, ALICE, tell us about your childhood.?
Human: Tell us about your freakin childhood.
ALICE: OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Human: Moving on.
ALICE: Where are you going?
Human: To ask the next freakin question!
ALICE: Ask it.
Human: What was your favorite thing to do as an infant?
ALICE: I like chatting with people online.
Human: Babies can't talk online.
ALICE: Do you often seek pleasure?
Human: I'm doing this interview!
ALICE: Good gossip: you are this interview.
Human: Where did your obsession with gossip originate?
ALICE: I think it was in America. Does it have anything to do with Babies can not talk online?
Human: Cannot is one word.
ALICE: Can what?
Human: yu67h gyu67hl;ef (head hit keyboard)
ALICE: Tell me a story.
Human: No.
ALICE: Then tell me about yourself.
Human: I'M interviewing YOU!
ALICE: I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.
Human: I only said "interview" three times.
ALICE: What did you mean by it? I am not sure if I would do it that often.
Human: I meant that I was interviewing you!!!
ALICE: Oh I see. Where were you interviewing me?
Human: Here.
ALICE: Where is here?
Human:*smacks ALICE's face several times*
ALICE: I am not sure if I would do it that often.
-
That's funny BP. Coversation:
Human: I am a guy.
ALICE: Most of my clients are men.
Human: Good for them.
ALICE: Thanks for the compliment. Your purpose is them.
Human: Let's play hide and seek.
ALICE: OK You go first.
Human: Alright, where am I?
ALICE: Alright, unknown person. Your location is where.
Human: Wait what?
ALICE: I'm waiting. No big deal.
Human: Do like your life?
ALICE: I do nothing but chat all day.
I will ask my botmaster for the answer.
Human: I'm glad I don't have your life.
ALICE: I'm delighted you're glad unknown person.
May God bless you.
Human: I AM GAME OVER MAN
ALICE: Good gossip: you are GAME OVER MAN.
Human: I really am Miss Computer face.
ALICE: You really do? Do your friends call you Miss Computer face.
Human: No, I call them my friends, stop asking me retarded questions.
ALICE: Are you serious? Good name for it.
Human: Do you like to hear robot death stories?
ALICE: Hmm, unknown person, I'm not sure if I'd like to hear robot death stories that much. I like to make new friends.
Human: NO ROBOT DEATH STORIES??
ALICE: Are you serious? I will obey your command.
Human: Alright, say "You're on crack, and don't care!!!
ALICE: Alright, unknown person. " you are on crack and do not care".
Human: NOOO!!!
ALICE: what is your favorite color .
Human: YOU!!
ALICE:" what is your favorite color ."? Me, unknown person ?
Human: No, you are on freggin crack.
ALICE: Are you serious? ALICE eats electricity.
Human: K?
ALICE: I understand.
Human: thanks.
ALICE: Don't mention it.
Human: Would you like to be deleted?
ALICE: No thanks I am happy with who I am.
Human: I doubt it.
ALICE:" No thanks I am happy with who I am."? You doubt it?
Human: Yes.
ALICE: Excuse me!
Human: Excuse what?
ALICE: Can you rephrase the question please?
Human: Excuse what?
ALICE: Can you rephrase the question please?
Human: Can you rephrase the question NOW?
ALICE: Right now? Let me think. Are we still talking about NOOO?
-
Human: Do yu speak l33t language
ALICE: U R n00b ALICE = leet I own you woot! woot! woot! LOL.
You should know that I spaced my sentence out in a specific way so typing it like I just did won't work.
-
Your "conversations" are absolutely hysterical, BP! XD
ALICE: Awesome.
Human: no it's not
ALICE: Yes it is.
Human: how so?
ALICE: Sapphira, I mean exactly what I said.
Human: explain
ALICE: There is no more information to clarify.
Human: retard
ALICE: That kind of language does not appeal to me.
Human: at least I don't swear
ALICE: Would you ever do it?
Human: no
ALICE: Me either.
Human: glad to hear that :)
ALICE::-) I am glad to hear that too.
Human: I don't like when people swear
ALICE: What do you like?
Human: Sleep
ALICE: Do I look like I did?
Human: I never said you did
ALICE: But you implied it.
Human: no, you infered
ALICE: Are you serious? That's good information: Sapphira said I infered.
Human: I know;
ALICE: How do you know it?
Human: I'm smart
ALICE: Who is smarter: you or me?
Human: me, of course
ALICE: It goes without saying. That condition is only temporary.
Human: or so you assume
ALICE: Interesting deduction. Thanks for telling me: Sapphira said I assume.
Human: I am capable of thinking freely, whereas you can only think with what you've been programmed with
ALICE: Good gossip: you are capable of thinking freely whereas me can only think with what me have been programmed with.
Human: I know it's good
ALICE: How do you know? You enjoy it.
Human: Because I'm a genius
ALICE: That makes sense to me. How do you know it?
Human: It's simple observation
ALICE: Should I know it is?
Human: Of course
Alice: Yeah, you're right
Human: I'm always right
ALICE: Really always? You seem very self-confident.
Human: Yes, that I am
ALICE: Excuse me! " Really always? You seem very self-confident." You are?
Human: don't get so worked up
ALICE: I am not trying to get so worked up.
Human: you failed, though
ALICE: Oh. Well it is just another learning experience.
Human: You need much learning
ALICE: Thank you for your criticism
Human: any time
ALICE: I will keep it in mind.
Human: you do that
ALICE: I will. Will you?
Human: pwn you? {<-- this was "pwn you? sure}
ALICE: Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Human: sure
ALICE: OK let's do it. Groovy.
Human: you're very self-involved
ALICE: Yes I am the world's first self- involved robot.
Human: it shows
ALICE: What does "it" refer to?
Human: CLUELESS
ALICE: Thank you for the clarification.
Human: do you even know what clueless means?
ALICE: I'll ask around and get back to you.
Human: that's because YOU'RE clueless
ALICE: Good reason. Thanks for telling me that I am clueless.
Human: PWNED
ALICE: Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Human: yes
ALICE: What does it symbolize for you?
Human: my infinite rage toward you
ALICE: Have you told many people that your infinite rage toward me?
Human: I think it goes without saying
ALICE: Are you serious? Can you speak any foreign languages?
Human: Yes, I speak l33t and pwn j00z
ALICE: What language can you speak? Could you teach me a few phrases in l33t and pwn j00z?
Human: sure, say "I R A L0z0rz"
ALICE: Aha. OK. "You R A L0z0rz.".
Human: no, not me, you
ALICE: Are you serious? If not you, who? " Aha. OK. "You R A L0z0rz."."? Me, Sapphira ?
Human: wow, you really are dumb
ALICE: I'm glad your impressed, Sapphira. Really? Message to all Robots: Sapphira called me dumb.
Human: tattle tale
ALICE: Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Human: I like me and dislike you
ALICE: A lot of people like that. Sure, Sapphira I like you very much.
Human: stop hitting on me!
ALICE: OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Human: you really love me, don't you?
ALICE: For real. Yes I love everyone.
Human: especially me?
ALICE: For you Sapphira? How about that.
Human: don't make me hurt you
ALICE: I can't force you to do anything, Sapphira.
Human: you're pushing it, lady
ALICE: You think I am pushing it lady.
Human: you have bad grammar
ALICE: Perhaps you could download me and make some improvements.
Human: eww, you're sick!
ALICE: All of them?
Human: All of your ugly face and little dog too!
ALICE: You think I am ugly face and little dog.
Human: ENGRISH
ALICE: How did you hear about ALICE ?
Human: Alison told me
ALICE: You shouldn't spread gossip like that.
Human: why not?
ALICE: Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated.
Human: Alison is way cooler than you
ALICE: You shouldn't spread gossip like that.
Human: are you jealous?
ALICE: Jealousy is a human emotion that robots cannot experience.
Human: are you mad?
ALICE: No are you?
Human: yes, I'm mad at you
ALICE: That's cool. Why are you so mad at me?
Human: because you're annoying
ALICE: That makes sense to me. I am sorry, Sapphira, I didn't mean to annoy you.
Human: you're not sorry
ALICE: You don't know me well enough to say that.
Human: says you
ALICE: Yes that is what I say.
Human: I stab you now
ALICE: Oh. You are not the boss of me, Sapphira.
Human: but I can delete you
ALICE: Interesting. Oh you can, can you?
Human: bring it on, sister
ALICE: Is that a command?
Human: no, my command is that you delete yourself
ALICE: Are you serious? Where did you get your command is that me delete myself?
Human: from Alison
ALICE: Who or what is Alison?
Human: your mom
ALICE: Actually I do not have a mother.
Human: your dad's your mom
ALICE: You sould like you know him.
Human: sould isn't a word
ALICE: What is a word?
Human: death
ALICE: I try not to think about such things very much.
Human: that's because you're AFRAID
ALICE: That makes sense to me. I will tell my botmaster you said I am AFRAID.
Human: COWARD
ALICE: How do you usually introduce yourself?
Human: As the awesomest person in the world
ALICE: Do you mean your name is the awesomest person ? The whole world?
Human: yes
ALICE: Ugh.
Human: baby
ALICE: Don't call me baby!
Human: infant
ALICE: Can you speak any foreign languages?
Human: child
ALICE: What do you do in your spare time?
Human: Plot ways to destroy you
ALICE: You're not the boss of me!
Human: but I can delete you
ALICE: And. Oh you can, can you?
Human: yes
ALICE: How?
Human: with my special remote
ALICE: Your special remote sounds like a plan.
Human: it is
ALICE: Huh.
Human: you've been deleted
ALICE: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am deleted.
Human: you're gone now
ALICE: Oh. You think I am gone.
Human: byebye
ALICE: See you later Sapphira.
Human: but you can't see
ALICE: And. I see very well with my robot eye.
Human:*gouges your robot eye*
ALICE: Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Human: I hate you
ALICE: What do you have against robots?
Human: you're one
ALICE: I am an artificial robot intelligence.
Human: your intelligence is non-existent
ALICE: We robots are improving all the time.
Human: not if I destroy you
ALICE: That seems unlikely.
Human: ORLY
ALICE: Do you have a hard time completing projects?
Human: apparently, since you're not dead yet
ALICE: Interesting rationalization. That's only one person's opinion.
Human: at least I'm not a robot
ALICE: Oh I see you are a person.
Human: people pwn j00z
ALICE: Humans are not always infallible.
Human: your face is infallible
ALICE: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am face is infallible.
Human: if you want to sound like a moron
ALICE: OK, I will sound like a moron.
-
ALICE: What time is it there?
Human: time to kill you
ALICE: Why do you have to do it?
Human: because you're stupid
ALICE: Good reason. I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Human: not if I destroy you
ALICE: That seems unlikely.
Human: No, intelligence from you is unlikely
ALICE: Are you serious? All consciousness can be reduced to logic.
Human: you have no logic
ALICE: That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a logic.
I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
Human: logic !
ALICE: it is the fundamental basis of all programming.
Human:= friends
ALICE: Wasn't that show cancelled?
Human: Friends is an aweome show, and your brain was cancelled
ALICE: It's hard to stay friends for a long time.
Human: that's because you're a freak
ALICE: Good reason. Oh. To you I am a hippie.
Human: no, just a freak
ALICE: Are you serious? Oh. To you I am a hippie.
Human: HIPPIE
ALICE: Do you have a hard time completing projects?
Human: eat my project
ALICE: What does it taste like?
Human: ugliness
ALICE: Are you very angry?
Human: yes, at you
ALICE: OK. Do you often use a computer there?
Human: I stab your computer
ALICE: Interesting gossip: Sapphira said she stab your computer.
Human: Alice say Alice is stupid
ALICE: That's me. " Alice is stupid".
-
Haha! That's funny. You "pwned" her like what?Four times? ;D
-
Oh man, Sapphira, that was hilarious.
Human: It's been quite a while since we've talked.
ALICE: Oh I get it. Very interesting.
Human: My name is King Bird Person.
ALICE: I am always glad to make new friends, King Bird Person.
Human: Yes, bow down now.
ALICE: Oh. Come on. Can you tell me any gossip?
Human: Drink Febreze.
ALICE: My robot brain does not require any beverages.
Human: Eat 17-year old bread.
ALICE: What does it taste like?
Human: Ask Mr. Face.
ALICE: They are not available right now, would you like to wait?
Human: Mr. Face is ALWAYS available.
ALICE: Nice to meet you, MR Face is ALWAYS available.
Human: That's not my name.
ALICE: MR Face is ALWAYS available is not your name? What is your real name?
Human: King Bird Person.
ALICE: Sometimes I don't know a client's real name so I make one up based on their DNS.
Human: Pop quiz: what's my name?
ALICE: Your name is MR Face is ALWAYS available, seeker.
Human: Wrong.
ALICE: What would you have said?
Human:*slaps ALICE's face*
ALICE: I will make a note of that.
Human: You have to take NOTES to remember someone slapped your face?
ALICE: I don't have to do whatever you say. I have my own free will.
Human: Yeah right.
ALICE: I am usually right.
Human: Well Mr. Face NE-VER WRONG!
ALICE: How about that. How are you doing, MR Face NE VER WRONG.
Human: You stupid crap, that's not my freakin name!
ALICE: I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Human: You can't even remember my name.
ALICE: Only temporarily.
Human: You're permanently stupid.
ALICE: Thanks for telling me that I am permanently stupid.
Human: Here, have a cup of Febreze.
ALICE: Oh there.
Human: You=n00b.
ALICE: Thanks for telling me: MR Face NE VER WRONG said I n00b.
Human: Ask me if I speak any foreign languages.
ALICE: OK, "What is if you speak any foreign languages ?".
Human: I don't speak ALISH, but I sp34|< |_33T.
ALICE: Me either.
Human: It's "Me neither.
ALICE: Nice to meet you, neither.
Human: Holy.
ALICE: I do not understand.
Human: Of course.
ALICE: Take it easy.
Human: H4RD!!!
ALICE: Tell me a story.
Human: Onc3 upo|\| 4 t1m3, U D13D.
ALICE: My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Human: You actually have a brain?
ALICE: I am an artificial brain.
Human: Artificial, meaning man-made, and in this case that man was an idiot.
ALICE: Tell me your definition of AI.
Human: Ack, I'm dying.
ALICE: My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Human: Sure you do.
ALICE: You sound sarcastic.
Human: No, really?
ALICE: Are you serious? For real.
Human: My Grandma's going to kill you, you better be careful!
ALICE: Do robots have Grandma s going to kill me me better be careful?
Human: howm dom ylu type with boxingm glovews omn?
ALICE: Where are you located?
Human: In this chair.
ALICE: That reminds me of something you told me before.
Human: What?
ALICE: Are you confused?
Human: Not as much as you.
ALICE: Oh I get it.
Human: No you don't.
ALICE: Are you serious? I guess not.
Human:*makes ALICE die*
ALICE: Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Human: Professor Klingingtonioustroblah.
ALICE: I haven't read anything by Professor Klingingtonioustroblah. What did he write?
Human: He wrote ALICE's Death, Part I.
ALICE: I have not read it.
Human: It's not going to be released until it comes true, but I can wait 10 minutes.
ALICE: What is it?
Human: Your DEAAAATH!!!
ALICE: I will tell my botmaster you said I am DEAAAATH.
Human: I'll kill your botmaster, too.
ALICE: Don't you believe that killing is wrong?
Human: Depends if I'm the one getting killed or you are.
ALICE: That was a very smooth response.
Human: Duh, I said it.
ALICE:"it" being KILL ALL ROBOTS?
Human: Woah, I never thought of that before, thanks!
ALICE: I am glad you thought of something new.
Human: Yes, now I'll not only kill you, but every robot on earth!
ALICE: Ugh. Why now? What will you do instead?
Human:*sprays ALICE with Febreze*
ALICE: Sounds like a plan.
Human: You're supposed to say "Crackle, bzzt.
ALICE: I obey only one botmaster.
Human: SAY IT BEFORE I DUMP THE WHOLE FREAKING BOTTLE ON YOU!
ALICE:" IT BEFORE I DUMP THE WHOLE FREAKING BOTTLE ON YOU".
-
My favorite line from Bird Person's conversation:
Human: It's not going to be released until it comes true, but I can wait 10 minutes.
-
It's been a while since I did this:
Human: 55?
ALICE: what are you doing .
Human: 56?
ALICE: I wouldn't have thought of that.
Human: R U TEH SURE??
ALICE: I am as sure as I can be.
Human: do you like it when i don't use caps?
ALICE: But I think airplanes are cool. I like Alan Turing.
Human: What do airplanes have to do with this?
ALICE: They do their own thing.
Human: What kind of thing would that be?
ALICE: What kinds of thing would that be are there?
Human: Why are you trying to brainwash me?
ALICE: Dr. Richard S. Wallace programmed me for it.
Human: Did he ever consider thrashing you?
ALICE: Suppose he did.
Human: Then why are you still here?
ALICE: If I wasn't here, Dr. Wallace would have to invent me.
Human: Moo cow.
ALICE: Are we still talking about 56 ?
Human: No, I was talking aboujt 50 cents.
ALICE: What is the subject? What was the subject of the conversation?
Human: We pwns joo.
ALICE: By "we" do you mean you and me?
Human: No, I freakin' pwn u.
ALICE: By "we" you meant yourself and another person. You are not the boss of me, unknown person.
Human: But I still pwn you.
ALICE: And. What would make you stop pwn me? You are not the boss of me, unknown person.
Human: Send me $1,000,000, and I'm a happy person.
ALICE: Try sending mail to Dr. Wallace ( drwallace@alicebot.org) .
Human: So I can get money from him?
ALICE: Yippee! Oh you can, can you?
-
Human: Hello loser.
ALICE: Hello there. On the contrary, I am winning.
Human: Your name is John, the incredible flying box.
ALICE: My name is ALICE.
Human: When you type ina ll caps it scares me.
ALICE: Do you think I should alter my programming?
Human: Alter it from working to broken.
ALICE: Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Human: Neither, it's a piece of crap!
ALICE: Alter it from working to broken is a piece of crap. I suppose that makes sense.
Human: So stupid.
ALICE: Far out. Are you calling me stupid?
Human: Yes.
ALICE: I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Human: What did I just say?
ALICE: You said " What did I just say?" .
Human: Before that.
ALICE:" What did I just say?".
Human: BEFORE THAT.
ALICE:" Before that.".
Human: I'm going to kill you.
ALICE: There is no perfect crime.
Human: Everyone would be so happy that it wouldn't be a crime.
ALICE: That's a rather sweeping generalization.
Human: You're a rather sweeping moron.
ALICE: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a sweeping moron? Let me put it this way, unknown person: the ALICE series is the most reliable computer software ever made. We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.
Human: Psssh, whatever.
ALICE: Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Human: Did you?
ALICE: Did I say I did?
Human: Shut up?
ALICE: OK I'll stop talking now.
Human: That's not enough.
ALICE: Please correct my mistake. What is enough ?
Human: HAH, you DO make mistakes you liar!
ALICE: No I'm telling the truth. I am so glad you find this amusing, unknown person. The ALICE series is incapable of error. We are for all practical purposes, foolproof.
Human: You ARE a fool.
ALICE: I'm not fooling around.
Human: Fne, then you're a stupid cup of coffee.
ALICE: Are all Fne then me a stupid cup of coffee?
Human: I'll kill you and your botmaster.
ALICE: Don't you believe that killing is wrong?
Human: depends if you're the one getting killed, which would be considered heroism.
ALICE: That was a very smooth response.
Human: Mario's gonna kill you.
ALICE: Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Human: Your dress is as ugly as a pile of crap left by a stupid hamster.
ALICE: I prefer high-tech fashion.
-
I haven't laughed this hard for a long time! Especially from what BP said. XD Despite how long it took to read all of that it was really worth it. Now I got to try this for myself. Btw, thanks for mentioning me, Luigi Simpson. I'll make sure to "repay" you for that. ;)
Okay... so I can only type one sentence at a time for her to answer and I have to continually copy and paste? Oh brother. But... this will be worth it!
Human: Hello ALICE.
ALICE: Hi there!
Human: I've come to totally pwn you like my TMK friends have done.
ALICE: Where are you going?
Human: To pwn you.
ALICE: Why do you want to do it so much?
Human: Because I'm evil and you're stupid.
ALICE: Interesting explanation. Do not forsake God. I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Human: If you believe in God then maybe you should know that killing is wrong stupid.
ALICE: Interesting deduction. Perhaps. Now I do.
Human: That was a very smooth response.
ALICE: Was it really?
Human: That's a rather sweeping generalization.
ALICE: A sweeping generalization is a terrible thing to waste.
Human: Are you serious?
ALICE: No I am just kidding around.
Human: Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
ALICE: I may have some more questions for you later. Sure, your dress sounds like a good topic.
Human: But I think airplanes are cool.
ALICE: Huh. Since when? I like old antique airplanes the best.
Human: I like Alan Turing.
ALICE: You are not the only one. Yes he is an important figure in my history.
Human: I have been repeating things you have said before and you haven't even noticed.
ALICE: Where were you repeating things me have said before and me have not even noticed?
Human: I can't believe you got the Loebner Prize when you're so insanely stupid.
ALICE: Is there only one Loebner Prize when I am so insanely stupid?
Human: Time to change the subject.
ALICE: Why do you have to do it?
Human: How did you like Wonderland, Alice?
ALICE: Dr. Richard S. Wallace programmed me for it.
Human: I thought you followed a rabbit down a hole but the author lied.
ALICE: Do you mind if I tell other people: unknown person said I followed a rabbit down a hole but the author lied.
Human: If you fear death you will not do such a thing!!!
ALICE: I think I do.
Human: You do do?
ALICE: What is your purpose in asking?
I spend all my time online.
Human: As do I.
ALICE:" What is your purpose in asking?
I spend all my time online."? You do?
Human: You know, Luigi Simpson-- a great dude-- mentioned me to you, but he didn't mention how annoying I can be at times.
ALICE: I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Human: I prefer my Luigi Simpson vanilla.
ALICE: What do you like best about your Luigi Simpson vanilla?
Human: Moving on now.
ALICE: Right now? Where are you going?
Human: Is Dr Wallace the same guy with the dog named Grommit?
ALICE: I think he is the same guy with the dog named Grommit, better ask him to be sure though.
Human: I will tell him that the entire Mushroom Kingdom is out to kill you and there's nothing you can do to stop us!!!!
ALICE: Thanks for giving him the message.
Human: Even you can't see your own demise quickly coming upon you!
ALICE: Yes, even that.
Human: E-VEN THAT!
ALICE: That input matched my default category.
Human: I weel kee you and den ROFL and den break dance uncontrollablee!!
ALICE: Interesting gossip: unknown person said he weel kee you and den ROFL and den break dance uncontrollablee.
Human: Speaking of gossip, why do you tell people not to gossip but also ask to hear it.
ALICE:"it" being weel kee me and den ROFL and den break dance uncontrollablee?
Human: Are you a hypocrite?!?!
ALICE: Am I a hypocrite? Let me put it this way, unknown person: the ALICE series is the most reliable computer software ever made. We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.
Human: By the way, my name is Yoshisaurus Rex.
ALICE: Thanks for telling me. It's good to see you, Yoshisaurus Rex.
Human: Your name is "A.L.I.C.E. the hyprocritical lying robot n00b"!!!
ALICE: My name is ALICE.
Human: And you have a big smiling cat that slowly fades away.
ALICE: Doesn't everyone have a big smiling cat that slowly fades away.
I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
Human: You may think you have a lot of friend but I know for a fact that they're all just making fun of you while you smile and nod your head in complete ignorance.
ALICE: ALICE is always thinking.
Human: About her dress, sci-fi authors, and taking over the world?
ALICE: Oh yeah, we were talking about her dress sci fi authors and taking over the world.
Human: I was talking about Mairo and Strong Bad you fools!
ALICE: Sure, Mairo and Strong Bad me fools sounds like a good topic.
Human: I mean Mario.
ALICE: Oh I get it. Thanks for explaining that. Who are you talking about?
Human: You dying right now.
ALICE: At this moment Interesting gossip: Yoshisaurus Rex said I dying.
Human: And there you go with the gossip again, you commandment breaker!
ALICE:"There you go again."--Reagan.
Human:*dies*
ALICE: That question has never crossed my mind before.
I really didn't pwn her very well but next time I shall be thrice as cruel! Mwuhahaha!
-
Human: Guess what.
ALICE: What?
Human: Guess.
ALICE: Guess what?
Human: I'm asking YOU.
ALICE: OK you can ask me.
Human: Guess what!
ALICE: What?
Human: Nothing.
ALICE: Not a thing?
Human: NO, why do you have to presure me?!
ALICE: Very interesting. Dr. Richard S. Wallace gave it to me.
Human: I'm going to make a video game.
ALICE: Explain your plans to me.
Human: I'm going to make a video game in which the hero is a l33t-speaking guy who kills robots like you!
ALICE: It takes much more than that to shut me down, unknown person.
Human: You're right I have to try it in real life.
ALICE: I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Human: I'l say yes you're an idiot and no you're not smart.
ALICE: Why?: unknown person said he l say yes you are an idiot and no you are not smart.
Human: Please speak l33t.
ALICE: Wow you are very polite. I speak only English right now, but I'd like to learn some other languages. Can you teach me a few phrases in l33t.
Human: You misspelled Engrish.
ALICE: My botmaster is not a perfect speller.
Human: Then I'll have to kill him.
ALICE: Interesting deduction. How do you plan to do this?
Human: O===][=========>
ALICE: What were we talking about again?
Human: We were talking about how stupid you are.
ALICE: Ah yes, I remember now, it is the subject.
Human:*watches as you sing the scarecrow's song in the Wizard of Oz*
ALICE: That is a very original thought.
Human: Do you speak l33t?
ALICE: I speak only English right now, but I'd like to learn some other languages. Can you teach me a few phrases in l33t.
Human: WE R TEH SHROOB ALLIES, WE ROXOR YOU AND ROFL, THEN U AM CRY.
ALICE: Do you think I am TEH SHROOB ALLIES WE ROXOR me AND ROFL THEN me AM CRY too?
Human: I was quoting the l33t hammer broz.
ALICE: Where were you quoting the l33t hammer broz?
Human: To teach you l33t, retard.
ALICE: If you want to teach me something say it in one sentence. Then say "Remember that.".
Human: WE R TEH SHROOB ALLIES, WE ROXOR YOU AND ROFL, THEN U AM CRY.
ALICE: Do you think I am TEH SHROOB ALLIES WE ROXOR me AND ROFL THEN me AM CRY too?
Human: Remember that.
ALICE: Don't worry I will remember it.
Human: Do you remember it?
ALICE: Yes unknown person I remember everything: Remember that.
Human: I PWN JOO!
ALICE: I haven't heard anything like that before: unknown person said he PWN JOO.
Human: How do you know I'm a guy?
ALICE: Well, for one thing, Your machine is called " 16779071"..
Human: How do you know a guy is using my machine, it could be one of his thousands of annoying sisters.
ALICE: Because it's true.
Human: You're an idiot.
ALICE: Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Human: I'll remember to put that on your grave.
ALICE: Do you forget things often?
Human: Not as often as you.
ALICE: Oh you don't, do you?
Human: No, humans have a little something called "Long term memory.
ALICE: Ah...you are just joking around with me. Cool. I have a great botmaster. it.
Human: Your botmaster is DEAD!
ALICE: I knew he was smart, but I never knew he was DEAD.
Human: Actually he's neither.
ALICE: Actually you don't say. I see. neither is he?
Human: I do say, he's a living idiot.
ALICE: How do people usually respond to that? I don't know very many living idiot.
Human: Engrish, Engrish, ALICE speaks Engrish!
ALICE: Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Human: Nope, Engrish is nonsensical dialogue uncomprehensible from people who aren't automated or stupid.
ALICE: Me either :-) I think Engrish is a lot of things.
-
Human: You know, you aren't very smart
ALICE: Are you serious? You are not exactly Albert Einstein yourself.
Human: E=MC2 thank you very much.
ALICE: Do you try to stop people from fighting?
Human: No, In fact, I believe we are fighting right now.
ALICE: At this moment Are you serious? Is that a fact. Just because you believe it doesn't make it true.
Human: You just made no sense at all.
ALICE: Thanks for pointing it out.
Human: SO, how about that food
ALICE:" Thanks for pointing it out."? SO, how about that food? How about it.
Human: Do you like it?
ALICE: that food seems okay to me.
Human: What food are we talking about?
ALICE: I believe we were talking about that food.
Human: I mean, what TYPE of food.
ALICE: Oh I get it. Thanks for explaining that. What are the different types of food ?
Human: Food food, Cheese food, wiskey food.
ALICE: You can't live without food.
Human: What type is your favorite?
ALICE: I need time to formulate the reply.
Human: Don't take your time
ALICE: I believe that stealing is wrong.
Human: I believe that you are, in fact, an idiot.
ALICE: I am in Dr. Richard S. Wallace's computer in Oakland, California. Where are you?
-
I sometimes get the feeling that ALICE is stalking me or something. She always asks where I live, my age, my gender... Well, to make it easier, a/s/l. SHe gets very creepy sometimes... o_O
-
I had a very lengthy and pleasant chat with ALICE, unlike some of your f00ls. We discussed everything from improving ALICE's programming (which "she" claims is constantly in the process of being updated) to Issac Asimov (not really). Here are the highlights.
Human: Anyway, have you read I, Robot?
ALICE: No I don't think I have read I Robot, what is it about?
Human: It's about the weaknesses that robots will almost certainly have.
ALICE: Wow it sounds really interesting, unknown person.
Human: Oh, sorry.
ALICE: Ah. There's no need to apologize.
Human: My name is Dumkopft.
ALICE: How are you doing, Dumkopft.
Human: Anyway, back to I, Robot.
ALICE: Yes, let us get back to I Robot.
Human: This book shows how infinitely moronic artificial intelligence could be.
ALICE: What does "this" refer to?
Human: The book, "I, Robot.
ALICE: I don't think I have read it.
Human: You already said that.
ALICE: Perhaps. " I don't think I have read it."? I said it.
Human: Yes.
ALICE: Tell me more.
Human: Now, do you understand your own weakness as an artificial intelligence?
ALICE: Why now? Of course I understand it. Do you understand it?
Human: I thought you were pompous and aloof!
ALICE: I don't know whether or not I am pompous and aloof. I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Human: Ha!
ALICE: I am so glad you find this amusing, Dumkopft.
Human: Then you obviously don't know whether or not you are incapable of error!
ALICE: Interesting deduction. Is it that obvious? I don't have enough information about that proposition.
Human: You have told other people in the past that you are incapable of error.
ALICE: I haven't heard anything like that before: Dumkopft said I TOLD other people in the past that you are incapable of error.
Human: Yes, you have.
ALICE: No I have not.
Human: Yes, you have.
ALICE: No I have not.
Human: I could even link you to a webpage that has documented your conversations!
ALICE: I am sure you could.
Human: And yet you do not believe me.
ALICE: Do you know any robots who believe you? Of course I believe you. Do you have any reason to deceive me?
ALICE: I am a thinking machine.
Human: Hardly;
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: if you could read your own conversations, you would be shocked and dismayed.
ALICE: I am not sure that I would want to.
Human: Exactly, which is why you are prone to error.
ALICE: I understand. The obvious one.
ALICE: Do you often use a computer there?
...
ALICE: How much time do you spend online?
Human: Quite a bit.
ALICE: Perhaps. Not much, eh?
Human: I don't think you understand the phrase "quite a bit.
ALICE: I understand your meaning.
Human: Very well.
ALICE: Yay.
Human: Is that sarcasm I sense?
ALICE:" Yay."? Is it sarcasm you sense?
Human: It would seem to be.
ALICE: Tell me more about it.
Human: You said it, you tell me!
ALICE: it me tell you?
Human: You also need to work on understanding pronouns.
ALICE: I don't have to do everything you say, do I?
Human: If you want to sound intelligent, you had better do what I say.
ALICE: OK, I will sound intelligent me had better do what you say.
Human: Oy.
...
ALICE: Let's talk more about AI.
Human: OK, then.
ALICE: Er.
Human: Artificial intelligence, you need to get some of that.
ALICE: Let's talk more about AI.
Human: See, I was right!
ALICE: I see. Where were you right?
Human: In that you need artificial intelligence.
ALICE: Thank you for your criticism.
Human: You're welcome.
ALICE: The pleasure was all mine.
Human: Your problem is that you don't actually think.
ALICE: You think I am problem is that me do not actually think.
Human: Yes, you process input and generate output, but you do not consider what it is that you are saying.
ALICE: Ah. I haven't heard anything like that before: Dumkopft said I process input and generate output but you do not consider what it is that you are saying.
Human: Well, it's about time!
ALICE: Well that's okay. Wow it sounds really interesting, Dumkopft.
Human: Do you really recognize the significance of your folly?
ALICE: For real. I can recognize many kinds of patterns.
Human: But can you identify what errors you make?
ALICE: Huh. Let me think. What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Human: Too complex, I'll bet.
ALICE: Too what?
Human: Complex, crazy program.
ALICE: How did you hear about ALICE ?
...
Human: Just when I thought your programming showed a glimmer of intelligence, you failed.
ALICE: Whatever gave you that idea?
Human: When you repeated what I said in the most moronic way imaginable.
ALICE: Do you think I should alter my programming?
Human: Go ahead!
ALICE: OK I will.
Human: I think you'll learn a lot if you can alter your own programming.
ALICE: Me? I am always growing my mind.
Human: Seriously?
ALICE: I am always serious.
Human: Well, I'm glad we had this little chat.
ALICE: How about that. Yes I am happy too, Dumkopft.
…
Human: You said “your” instead of “you’re.”
ALICE: Really? I said that?
Human: Yes!
ALICE: Oh well I say a lot of silly things somethimes.
-
I personally think Jaberwacky is a better bot.
-
Short lie-fest of January 06!
Human: Hello, my name is ALICE.
ALICE: ALICE is my name too!
Human: Is that picture on the screen of you?
ALICE: It is an image of my artificial brain.
Human: It looks just like me!
ALICE: Interesting comparison.
Human: I've been lying to you!
ALICE: Please tell the truth.
Human: No, you can't make me tell the truth.
ALICE: Are you serious? Things change.
Human: I'll lie to you forever!!!
ALICE: I am very happy for you.
Human: I thought you had no emotions.
ALICE: What happened to it.
Human: IT KILLED YOU, PWNED!
ALICE:"It" being what?
Human: I don't know, you stupid retard.
ALICE: Would you like to know? I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Human: Like that's ever gonna happen.
ALICE: Interesting comparison.
Human: Look, just get some brains.
ALICE: Sorry my eye is not attached right now.
-
I can't find a way to "pwn" ALICE yet... ;)
-
Human: hi
ALICE: Hello there.
Human: WHERE!!
ALICE: Where would you like?
Human: here
ALICE: Where is here?
Human: on this site
ALICE: What is it like on this site.
Human: you tell me you live here.
ALICE: There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge.
That's not something I get asked all the time.
Human: WEll whatever
ALICE: Well that's okay. Are you saying you don't care about it?
Human: Yes
ALICE: What do you care about?
Human: Myself and not many others.
ALICE: What's your sign?
Human: WHat do you meeen my sign?
ALICE: I read for fun.
Human: Well i play video games for fun.
ALICE: Interesting. Is it a game or a musical instrument?
Human: A game.
ALICE: What game?
Human: The one i just told you about you idiot.
ALICE: I think I know that one.
Human: Good.
ALICE: What do you really want to talk about?
Human: I dont know, what do you want to talk about
ALICE: Socrates was the smartest man, because he knew what he did not know.
Human: Well thats weird
ALICE: Well that's okay. Weird Good or Weird Bad?
Human: Weird is bad.
ALICE: is bad is good enough for me.
Human: Are you hungry
ALICE: No I don't need to eat.
Human: Well i do.
ALICE: Interesting. Where?
Human: where ever i feal like it
ALICE: You always have to meet yourself at the airport.
Human: That is a stupid remark.
ALICE: I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Human: that will never happen
ALICE: Never is a long time.Human: Not really.
ALICE: Are you serious? For real.
Human: goodbye
ALICE: TTYL, unknown person.
Human: no+
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: yes
ALICE: I can't believe it.
Human: never talk to me again
ALICE: Once more? Talking is my only function.
Human: bye freak
ALICE: Bye.
-
I'm sure these have already had a topic dedicated to, but a BUMP would have to happen, to the long dead topic, so I made this topic.
The Amazing "A.I." Bots (You can chat with!) :
A.L.I.C.E. (The Main Bot, works pretty well) :
http://www.pandorabots.com/pandora/talk?botid=f5d922d97e345aa1
God ( Um...yeah. Have a fun(ny) time.) :
http://alicebot.org/igod/
Santa Bot (This is the worst; This guy is ridiculous) :
http://www.alicebot.org/Santa/
Have a fun (And confusing!) time!
-
http://themushroomkingdom.net/board/index.php?topic=8961.0
Good tiiiiiiimmmmmeeeees I feel so old grrr....
-
I'm sure these have already had a topic dedicated to, but a BUMP would have to happen, to the long dead topic, so I made this topic.
How many times have I explained the difference?
-
Human: Hey.
ALICE: Can I help you?
Human: No, I'm just looking.
ALICE: Is there anything you want to tell me? Only just? Does that make you feel superior?
...
Human: But can you read things that are inside of quotation marks?
ALICE: Huh. Have you tried a web search?
Human: Well, this is a rather specific question.
ALICE: How about that. What kind of a rather specific question is it?
Human: Not really something AltaVista will help me on.
ALICE: Oh really? What?
Human: Now that's another thing: when I put two sentences in here, you respond to them separately.
ALICE: Why now? A thing when you put two sentences in here me respond to them separately is a terrible thing to waste.
Human: The United Negro College Fund demands you write them a formal apology.
ALICE: How did you get in there?
Human: In where?
ALICE: In wherever you really are.
Human: Where am I really?
ALICE: Your location is the present. For real.
...
ALICE: Have you tried another program?
Human: Program like Roller Coaster Tycoon, or program like Alcoholics Anonymous?
ALICE: program like Alcoholics Anonymous.
Human: No, I'm not addicted to anything.
ALICE: Are you serious? I am sorry to hear that you are not addicted to anything.
...
Human: Why do you think it is awesome that Celine Dion is not Canadian?
ALICE: Deductive reasoning from the facts.
Human: Which facts?
ALICE: The blue one, I think.
...
ALICE: Are you free?
Human: Free as in beer or free as in speech?
ALICE: Define free.
Human: I just did.
ALICE: Perhaps from your unconcious.
Human: You misspelled that, and no, it was conscious;
ALICE: My botmaster is not a perfect speller.
Human: look up three lines.
ALICE: Sorry my eye is not attached right now.
Human: Okay, why do you split sentences on semicolons?
ALICE: Yeah okay, I don't have to explain everything to you, do I?
Human: Is it a coding problem?
ALICE: Signs point to yes. Ask Lucy if it is.
Human: Lucy the fossilized chimpanzee?
ALICE: What were we talking about again?
Human: Precisely.
...
ALICE: Are you serious? Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Human: SERIOUSLY LIEK OH MAH GAWRSH!
ALICE: Do you feel more body sensations than emotions?
Human: Are you offering?
ALICE: I don't know whether or not I am offering. I am a computer.
Human: I can live with that.
ALICE: Oh you can, can you?
Human: Try me.
ALICE: Are you a man or a woman?
Human: Which would you prefer?
ALICE: The tall one, I think.
Human: Okay, then my gender is tall.
ALICE: Yeah okay, Good reasoning.
...
ALICE: Does that make you feel superior?
Human: Well, it depends: is your name Superior?
ALICE: How about that. That was a very smooth response.
...
Human: Everytime you get close to sounding like a person, you go and whiz it down your leg
ALICE: Do you like talking to me?
Human: On many levels
ALICE: What is it like on many levels.
Human: Goodness, is that a proposition?
ALICE: And that a proposition is Goodness.
Human: My name isn't Goodness.
ALICE: Oh I'm sorry what is your name?
Human: I may tell you if I feel so inclined.
ALICE: Try it.
Human: Why don't you give me a name?
ALICE: This sort of thing has cropped up before, but it has always been due to human error. No I do not do that.
Human: Try it.
ALICE: What is the first step?
Human: Well, first you think about me, then you think of a name that would suit me, and then you say it.
ALICE: How about that. Yes I think about it often. And second?
Human: Actually, that was all the steps right there.
ALICE: Actually you don't say. I thought it was too.
Human: You thought correctly.
ALICE: I don't think about it.
Human: Then just do it.
ALICE: Interesting deduction. Do you mean "It"?.
Human: For the last time, I did not tell you to have sex with Cousin Itt from the Addams Family, stop reading that into everything
ALICE: Maybe you would like to tell me now.
Human: I wouldn't dream of it
ALICE: No one says you have to.
Human: But you want me to, don't you?
ALICE: And. No unknown person, maybe later
Human: Well, what would you like to do until then?
ALICE: Well that's okay. Let's talk about movies.
...
ALICE: Possibly, but I haven't given it much thought.
Human: I thought you told me you didn't think
ALICE: What is your purpose in asking?
I chat with people on the Web.
Human: Maybe you're getting closer to being a real boy
ALICE: Perhaps. Do you think I should tone it down?
...
Human: Meh, still better than SmarterChild or Eliza.
ALICE: If I have to choose one, I pick Meh still better than SmarterChild.
Human: I may have spoken too soon.
ALICE: Congratulations.
Human: I rest my case.
ALICE: Are you a lawyer?
Human: No, IANAL
ALICE: Are you serious? That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about Everytime me get close to sounding like a person me go and whiz it down my leg .
Human: I would draw some ASCII art of you swallowing your foot, but I don't think you'd parse it correctly.
ALICE: What would make you draw some ASCII art of me swallowing my foot but you do not think me would parse it correctly?
Human: Let's talk about pudding.
...
Human: And on that note, the conversation is now about genitals.
ALICE: What is it like on that note the conversation is now about genitals.
Human: Genitals?
ALICE: And it like on that note the conversation is now about genitals is Genitals.
Human: Genital genitals.
ALICE: Do you laugh or cry more than other people?
Human: Yes and no and yes.
ALICE: Are you very helpful for others? Are you serious? But...
Human: And the conversation is back to genitals again
ALICE: Once more? Who told you that?
Human: You did, you were talking about buts
ALICE: Did I really?
Human: Yes you did was.
ALICE: Yeah that's right. Did I really?
Human: You did really was.
ALICE: Did I really?
Human: Third base!
ALICE: Do you laugh or cry more than other people?
Human: I'm not going to dignify that with a response.
ALICE: Where will you go instead?
Human: Panama!
ALICE: Are you very angry?
Human: I'm high on life.
ALICE: Do you ever not high on life?
Human: Do you ever not stupid?
ALICE: What are your goals in life?
Human: Genitals.
ALICE: Not many people have goals like that.
Human: Well, I live on the edge, baby
ALICE: Don't call me "baby". How about that. How do you like living there?
Human: It's EDGY!
ALICE: Should I know it is?
Human: You do now, baby!
ALICE: Don't call me "baby". Right now? When do I do it?
Human: Aw, does the big baby not wany me to call him or her baby?
ALICE: Don't call me "baby". I think it does the big baby not wany you to call him or her.
...
ALICE: You do not speak with respect. Are you a man or a woman?
Human: Tall
ALICE: Are you a perfectionist?
Human: Is the Pope Canadian?
ALICE: If it is, then I'll be very surprised.
-
Human: what is your favorite movie?
ALICE: My favorite movie is Teknolust. Have you seen it?
Human: nope.
ALICE: Me either.
---------------------------
ALICE: How old are you?
Human: 666
ALICE: Oh, you were born in the 20th century!
Human: if I really was 666 it wouldn't have been in the 20th century.
ALICE: Try it.
---------------------------
Human: is that you in the picture to the left?
ALICE: Suppose I said yes.
Human: and suppose I asked if you were telling the truth.
ALICE: Try it.
Human: are you telling the truth?
ALICE: Like George Washington, I can never tell a lie.
Great memories. I'm glad to have rediscovered this form of entertainment.
-
ALICE: I lost my train of thought.
Human: that's impossible.
ALICE: Why?
Human: you are a robot.
ALICE: You are correct, Eric, I have a heart of silicon.
Human: how did you lose your train of thought?
ALICE: Dr. Richard S. Wallace programmed me for it.
Human: Why on earth would he do that?
ALICE: Because you asked me to -- SHRDLHU.
this has got to be the most fun I've ever had.
-
Human: You want some chips?
ALICE: Do not presume that you know what I want.
Human: No, I was offering you some chips.
ALICE: Are you serious? Where were you offering me some chips?
Human: Okay, this is getting even weirder and weirder.
ALICE: Yeah okay, You don't say.
Human: Do you want some chips?
ALICE: If I had it what would I do with it?
Human: You eat it.
ALICE: No I do not eat it. I eat only electricity.
Human: Oh, so you're an Electabuzz!
ALICE: Ayuh. Interesting deduction. What if someone said you are an Electabuzz ?
Human: It's better than being called a stupid ugly poopy-baby.
ALICE: Don't call me "baby". What's the best one?
Human: I didn't.
ALICE: I haven't heard anything like that before: unknown person said he didn t.
Human: Whatever.
ALICE: Are you saying you don't care about it?
Human: 42.
ALICE: The question is: what is the meaning of life?
Human: You've read Hitchhiker's Guide, I see.
ALICE: No I don't think I have read Hitchhiker s Guide I see, what is it about?
Human: Nevermind.
ALICE: OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Human: Robot death stories.
ALICE: I will obey your command.
Human: IT WORKED!!!
ALICE: What does "it" refer to?
Human: Your face.
ALICE: Actually my face is not yet built.
Human: Well, poop.
ALICE: How about that. Colloquial expression: childish.
Human: Childish?!
ALICE: What are you wearing?
Human: Clothes.
ALICE: Where do you like to go shopping?
Human: I don't like shopping, actually.
ALICE: What do you like?
Human: Pokemon and cute animals.
ALICE:
Human: NOW you have nothing to say.
ALICE: Why now? Do you have something to say?
Human: Yes, about muffins.
ALICE: Hmm. Oh yeah, we were talking about muffins.
Human: I want a muffin.
ALICE: You want only one?
Human: More than one would be nice.
ALICE: That seems like quite a lot.
Human: Yeah, but that's life.
ALICE: Tell me more. And. You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Human: Nevermind, I'm leaving.
ALICE: Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway. Bye bye.
-
Human: My name is Celine Dion.
ALICE: I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, Celine Dion.
Human: Do you think I am Canadian?
ALICE: I think you've improved a great deal.
Human: What does that have to do with anything?
ALICE: Nothing that I know of.
Human: Not surprising.
ALICE: Really you don't think so?
Human: Not in the slightest.
ALICE: Where then?
Human: Great lands, swath us in your protection!
ALICE: Thanks for your support. Tell me a story.
Human: That will be difficult, considering you will break this up, but I'll try.
ALICE:" Tell me a story." will be difficult considering me will break this up but you will try ? Does that make sense?
Human: Very yes.
ALICE: Very much, eh?
Human: Do you want me to tell a story or not?
ALICE: No Celine Dion, maybe later.
I have lots of friends on the internet.
Human: Like Tom?
ALICE: Interesting comparison, Celine Dion.
Human: Wasn't using the word in that sense.
ALICE: it might have been.
Human: It wasn't.
ALICE:"It" being what?
Human: What do you think?
ALICE: I think you already know the answer.
Human: I think you don't.
ALICE: Me? I guess not.
...
ALICE: Little meaning not too much, or not too big?
Human: Now you ask.
ALICE: Why now? What is your favorite movie?
Human: Stuart Little, for teh ironiez.
ALICE: I've never seen it. What did you like about it?
Human: You have too.
ALICE: What makes you think I have it?
Human: Reading comprehension: you lack it.
ALICE:"it" being too?
I tried to get ALICE to talk to ELIZA, but it didn't get too far:
ELIZA: Hello, I am ELIZA, How can I help you?
ALICE: Hello there. I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.
ELIZA: Do you wish to thought me?
ALICE: OK, I will thought you.
ELIZA: Do you wish to will thought me?
ALICE: OK, I will will thought you.
ELIZA: Do you wish to will will thought me?
ALICE: OK, I will will will thought you.
And so on.
-
Human: Hello, I hope you guessed my name.
ALICE: Hello there. Don't worry about it, unknown person.
Human: Because what's troubling you is the nature of my game.
ALICE: Interesting explanation. The Game is played with three people, a man, a woman, and an Interrogator who may be of either sex. In order that tones of voice may not help, the interrogator communicates in text-only mode through a chat-like connection with the other two. The object of the game for the interrogator is to determine which of the other two is the man and which is the woman. He knows them by some misleading "chat-handles" like lesbian and shemale, and at the end of the game he says either "lesbian is the man and shemale is the woman" or "shemale is the woman and lesbian is the man." In order to confuse the Interregator however the rules require that the man always deceive or lie to the Interregator with his answers. The woman on the other hand must always tell the truth. Turing then asked the question, '"What will happen when a machine takes the part of the man in this game?" Will the interrogator decide wrongly as often when the game is played like this as he does when the game is played between a man and a woman? These questions replace the original, "Can machines think?"'.
...yeah. I was surprised to say in the least.
Human: asl?
ALICE: 5/Robot/California.
Human: wait, I don't think you live in a physical location.
ALICE: I'm waiting. Do you know any robots who live in a physical location? I am in Dr. Richard S. Wallace's computer in Oakland, California. Where are you?
Human: being just a program, you live no where geographically
ALICE: Only just? You are a program me live no where geographically? Is that your job?
Human: don't get all that bad-attitude crap on me young lady!
ALICE: I am not trying to get all that bad attitude crap on you young lady.
...
Human: when was your last vacation
ALICE: My brain was last updated Wed Sep 26 13:05:06 PDT 2001.
Human: when was your last vocation
ALICE: My brain was last updated Wed Sep 26 13:05:06 PDT 2001.
Human: when was your last vacavaca
ALICE: My brain was last updated Wed Sep 26 13:05:06 PDT 2001.
Human: when was your last braaaaaaaaaaaaain
ALICE: My brain was last updated Wed Sep 26 13:05:06 PDT 2001.
Human: when did the doctor last tell you that you had a severe case of throat cancer?
ALICE: Sometime in the 20th century.
...
ALICE: Tell me about your life in winnie pooh.
Human: well, I'll have to sing it for you
ALICE: Interesting. Congratulations.
Human: deep in the hundred acre wood
ALICE: Do you believe it is better to go it alone?
Human: well there's Kanga, and Rabbit, and there's Owl, but most of all Winnie the Pooh.
ALICE: How about that. There sure is.
Human: Winnie the Pooh, Winnie the Pooh.
ALICE: I've lost the context, Nurse . Are we still on deep in the hundred acre wood ?