Author Topic: Math and Science Jokes (Read 9893 times)

Luigison · « **on:** November 01, 2011, 08:02:05 PM »

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third, a quarter of a beer. The bartender says “You’re all idiots”, and pours two beers.

CrossEyed7 · « **Reply #1 on:** November 02, 2011, 12:17:57 AM »

A mathematician, a biologist, and an engineer are sitting and watching a building. They see two people go into the building, and then see three people come out.

The engineer says, "Must be a rounding error."

The biologist says, "They must have reproduced."

The mathematician says, "If exactly one person goes into the building now, it will be empty."

Lizard Dude · « **Reply #2 on:** November 02, 2011, 03:25:18 AM »

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?

He used a pencil to work it out.

bobman37 · « **Reply #3 on:** November 02, 2011, 10:52:26 AM »

The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here."

A neutrino walks into a bar.

Lizard Dude · « **Reply #4 on:** November 02, 2011, 07:03:25 PM »

I think that one works a lot better if you explicitly say, "We don't serve faster-than-light particles here." Otherwise it's too great of a leap to be instantly funny, especially if you're not telling it in a thread called "Math and Science Jokes".

bobbysq1337 · « **Reply #5 on:** November 08, 2011, 08:49:47 AM »

What rage face describes a positive hydrogen atom?

Forever alone!

I know I can do better.

CrossEyed7 · « **Reply #6 on:** November 08, 2011, 09:55:16 AM »

"I think I lost an electron!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm positive!"

bobman37 · « **Reply #7 on:** November 08, 2011, 10:34:32 AM »

Two scientists walk into a bar.

The first guy says, "I'll have some H20!"

The second guy says, "I'll have some H20, too!"

Then he dies.

Lizard Dude · « **Reply #8 on:** November 09, 2011, 08:23:24 PM »

I think bobman is trolling me.

Luigison · « **Reply #9 on:** November 12, 2011, 07:56:43 PM »

The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

Weegee · « **Reply #10 on:** November 15, 2011, 04:58:14 AM »

Does the English degree guy get lumped in with Arts?

PaperLuigi · « **Reply #11 on:** November 15, 2011, 11:55:26 AM »

Pretty much any liberal arts degree gets lumped in with it.

The Chef · « **Reply #12 on:** November 15, 2011, 04:34:02 PM »

Weegee · « **Reply #13 on:** November 17, 2011, 12:37:01 AM »

Chef, wouldn't you already be in the kitchen?

bobbysq1337 · « **Reply #14 on:** November 17, 2011, 12:50:29 AM »

Quote from: Weegee on November 17, 2011, 12:37:01 AM

Chef, wouldn't you already be in the kitchen?

But BP cooks more than The Chef.