Well, as I said, I'm not entirely sure what to make of it.
I've voiced some other thoughts on sites that aren't this one, and because I'm too lazy to type them all out again, I'm going to copy-and-paste and link to my blog. And maybe type out a few things, too, I guess. Whatever.
I feel like I have a choice between two unpleasant things:
1) Since there is approximately a snowball's chance in Hell of my actually being genuinely confident, I'd have to fake it. I refuse to do this. I refuse to not be sincere, because it's just going to lead to bigger problems later.
2) I can just be - if you'll excuse the use of an Internet meme - FOREVER ALONE. While I don't particularly want to do this either, and while it'll probably make me miserable, at least I won't have to fake anything.
Also, the thought of changing myself scares me. I don't want to turn into a jerk; I don't want to lose the traits I possess that I do like; and I'm worried that if I stop putting this girl on a pedestal, I'll stop liking her at all; then where will that leave me? Sure, I'll have changed, maybe for the better; maybe I'll be more attractive to girls. But if I lose the girl that inspired me to change in the first place, it'll be just as much of a failure if I stop caring about her. Maybe more, because of all the wasted effort.
Also also,
this (posted a full week before I even found the article, by the way).
The article brings up some good points, but a big problem is that if it's trying to help insecure guys, it might be a good idea to not be so harsh about it. Considering how negatively their supposed "Nice Guys" react to criticism from people close to them, how much worse off are they going to be when they see some complete stranger on the Internet bashing them with no real advice except "like yourself"? The tone by itself just makes me want to keep being a loser just to spite whoever wrote the thing.
And yes, it did touch a nerve, how did you know? Like, I was so busy thinking about this article the day I read it that it showed on my face when I was at lunch with my friends (they told me so afterward). So yeah, I'm taking it a bit personally, because it hit far too close to home. No one likes to have their flaws pointed out, but this article pointed mine out so poignantly and systematically that it actually affected my mood for the better part of a day, and it's still nagging me in the back of my head: "you're a loser, no feelings you have for anyone will ever be requited!"
I feel trapped. As I said before, I feel like change is either not possible or will come at too high a price. But I know that a good part of the article is dead-on. It just... it really frustrates me.
On a different note, I'm taking this thread as further evidence that CrossEyed and I are really the same person (and are both somehow Weegee, too, but anyway).
