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Author Topic: Your Favorite Joke  (Read 86027 times)

Rao

  • Arr! Ay! Oh!
« Reply #180 on: October 08, 2008, 06:41:11 PM »
A dog with a limp walks into a bar, and says to the bartender, "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw!"
What's your problem, Cambodian?

« Reply #181 on: October 08, 2008, 07:09:48 PM »
Three guys walk into a bar, the fourth one ducks. *Rimshot*
Kinopio is the ultimate video game character! Who else can drive a kart, host parties, play tennis, give good advice and items, and is almost always happy??

Rao

  • Arr! Ay! Oh!
« Reply #182 on: October 08, 2008, 09:46:06 PM »
There's also another version of that joke. Three guys walk into a bar, and the fourth one uses the door! Paranpam pssssssshhhhhh.
What's your problem, Cambodian?

ShadowBrain

  • Ridiculously relevant
« Reply #183 on: October 08, 2008, 09:51:40 PM »
A dyslexic man walks into a bra...
"Mario is your oyster." ~The Chef

Insane Steve

  • Professional Cynic
« Reply #184 on: October 08, 2008, 09:59:40 PM »
old but awesome because a lot of people can't get it

What do you get when you cross a mountain climber and a mosquito?

Nothing, everyone knows you can't cross a scaler and a vector
~I.S.~

« Reply #185 on: October 08, 2008, 10:27:40 PM »
That is almost awesome but I find the mosquito-to-vector too much of a stretch.

Glorb

  • Banned
« Reply #186 on: October 09, 2008, 06:14:20 PM »
Vector, since mosquitos transmit diseases and a disease-transmitting lifeform is called a vector.

...I got that right, right?
every

Shyguy92

  • Ridicules
« Reply #187 on: October 09, 2008, 07:33:36 PM »
Why can't Helen Keller drive a car?





















































She's a man.
« Last Edit: October 10, 2008, 06:04:05 PM by Shyguy92 »
"it's always the present"

MaxVance

  • Vance Vance Revolution
« Reply #188 on: October 09, 2008, 10:14:47 PM »
Why can't Helen Keller drive?

Because she's a woman.
Remember that your first Goomba boldly you walk? When Mario touched that mushroom being brought up more largely remember that you are surprised? Miscalculate your jump that pit remember that it falls?

Markio

  • Normal
« Reply #189 on: October 09, 2008, 11:53:05 PM »
What's so great about chemistry?

It's pHun!
« Last Edit: October 11, 2008, 10:58:40 PM by Markio »
"Hello Kitty is cool, but I like Keroppi the best."

« Reply #190 on: October 10, 2008, 04:26:37 PM »
I hate these kind of jokes but I know how you kids love 'em:

Two men were fishing on a lake when one dropped his wallet. They watched it float into the depths until a carp swam up and snatched it. Then another carp stole it away from the first and, within seconds, a third carp grabbed it from the second carp. One fisherman remarked to the other, "Well, look at that. Carp-to-carp walleting!"

Shyguy92

  • Ridicules
« Reply #191 on: October 10, 2008, 06:03:50 PM »
"it's always the present"

CrossEyed7

  • i can make this whatever i want; you're not my dad
« Reply #192 on: October 10, 2008, 08:10:50 PM »
A woman walks into the downtown welfare office, trailed by 15 kids...

'Yep they are all mine,' the flustered mamma sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before. She says, 'Sit down Leroy.' All the children rush to find seats.

'Well,' says the social worker, 'then you must be here to sign up. I'll need all your children's names.'

'This one's my oldest - he is Leroy.'

'Well, this one, he is Leroy, also.'

The social worker raises an eyebrow but continues. One by one, through the oldest four, all boys, all named Leroy. Then she is introduced to the eldest girl, named Leighroy!

'All right,' says the caseworker. 'I'm seeing a pattern here. Are they ALL named Leroy?'

Their Mama replied, 'Well, yes - it makes it easier. When it is time to get them out of bed and ready for school, I yell, 'Leroy!' And when it's time for dinner, I just yell 'Leroy!' and they all comes a-running. An' if I need to stop the kid who's running into the street, I just yell 'Leroy' and all of them stop. It's the smartest idea ever had, namin' 'em all Leroy.'

The social worker thinks this over for a bit, then wrinkles her forehead and says tentatively, 'But what if you just want ONE kid to come, and not the whole bunch?'

'Then I call them by their last names.'
"Oh man, I wish being a part of a Mario fan community was the most embarrassing thing about my life." - Super-Jesse

Glorb

  • Banned
« Reply #193 on: October 12, 2008, 12:49:15 PM »
A new guy is moving into a neighborhood and decides to acquaint himself with his new neighbors. So he walks up to the house next door and knocks. Another guy about his age answers the door.

"Hi, I just moved in. I was wondering if you'd like to come over for for a little get-together at my place tomorrow?" asks the new guy. The other guy says yes.

"Now, I've got to warn you. There's probably going to be some drinking going on. Heavy drinking. You mind?"
"Nah, it's cool. I'll probably have a few cold ones myself."

"Now, there's probably going to be some drugs going around, y'know. That okay with you?"
"Yeah, sure. I won't call the cops." The guy smiles.

"I should also mention there's gonna be lots of sex. You cool with that?"
"Oh, totally, totally."

"And I should tell you that there's going to be a few fights probably. That okay?"
"Yeah, I can take pretty good care of myself."

The new guy nods his head and says, "Okay, see you tomorrow then." As he begins to walk off, the other guy says "Anything I should wear?" The new guy turns around and says:

"Nah, doesn't matter, it's just going to be us two."
every

« Reply #194 on: October 13, 2008, 05:12:59 PM »
I can't post most of all of George Carlin's jokes here due to vulgar material, I''ll post my favorite one by him. It's not funny as text so I'll include the mp3.
http://www.fileden.com/files/2007/11/9/1574507/Boston%20Heart%20Attack%20.mp3
ROM hacking with a slice of life.

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