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The Silly Mario Fan Theories Thread

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The Chef:
Kinda like Mariology but a bit more streamlined. Simply post any fanmade theories you have about the inner workings of Mario's world. Explanations are welcome. I'd put a "serious posts wanted tag" on this thread but I know most of you jokers are going to be sarcastic about this anyway. Extra-silly theories are allowed provided they're funny enough.

So to start, here are all of mine:

Everyone in the Mushroom World is born with a "Wa-" counterpart.
Think about it. We know Wario isn't a clone. We know he and Mario aren't related. We know Mario isn't the only one with a rival that looks like an ugly version of himself (Waluigi and Boshi come to mind). We know Wario was apparently brought by the stork around the same time as or shortly after Mario according to YIDS. Unless the above three examples were sheer coincidence, I have reason to believe everybody in the Mushroom World is destined to have some sort of ugly rival counterpart. One can only imagine what Peach's looks like....

Peach is Princess Serenity and Rosalina is Galaxia.
This of course means Mario is Tuxedo Mask and Daisy is Sailor Jupiter. Can't be bothered to ponder the rest of the Sailor Senshi.

Bowser is a metalhead.
Just look at him...

Prince Froggy is a teenage Wart.
Would explain why he has an army of Shy Guys at his disposal.

Birdo is Wart's failed attempt to create a Yoshi clone.
He tried to make his own gender-ambiguous dinosaur that shoots eggs. The results were uuuuuuuuuuuugly.

Daisy is the butch in her relationship with Luigi.

oooooor....

Daisy is a lesbian and is using Luigi to cover it up.

ooooooooooooor...

Daisy is bisexual.
She acts like a total dyke in Mario Strikers, man.

Mouser is a hyper-evolved Squeek.
They used to be called "Lil' Mouser" for a reason.

Mario and Luigi were born and raised in whatever place Camelot's Mario Golf/Tennis RPGs are supposed to be set.
Mario is considered a hometown hero there.

Peach is the daughter of a human woman and a Toad man.
Would explain why her grandmother is a Toad. Also, in the Mushroom World all children look exactly like one of their parents. This means Peach's mom had to have been human.

Sex doesn't exist in the Mushroom World.
All babies are brought by the stork. Simply kissing is considered promiscuous behavior.

The Koopalings are Bowser's nephews and niece. Not his kids.
Would explain why they all look different. Would also explain why they only refer to them as his "underlings" in NSMBWii. Also gives Bowser Jr. a more meaningful existence as Bowser's son.

Morton's dad looks like Gene Simmons.
He is modeled after Paul Stanley, after all...

Roy is half-blind.
That's why he wears sunglasses all the time and never seems to be able to land a hit.

Lemmy has the same disease as Gary Coleman.
That's why he's so small compared to the other Koopalings.

The X-Nauts were a sly parody of the Xbox.
Just look at Magnus Von Grapple...

Mario took on every sport ever in college and got a PhD, but decided to become a plumber after graduating.
It explains [darn] near everything about him.

DK Jr. was actually DK Sr.'s grandson, not his son.
Solves the whole Cranky Kong conundrum.

Diddy Kong is an orphan.
Kong Isle seems to be mostly populated by apes, not monkeys. DK has Cranky, and Dixie has Kiddy and Chunky. Where the heck is Diddy's family? Simple, he's DK's adopted nephew.

Dixie Kong is a commando.
That's why she wears the beret and the kneepads. She's probably also handy with a knife.

Goombella screwed up and actually meant to say Marilyn was a boy, not Vivian.
Really, Marilyn is the most masculine one.

Flurrie and Ludwig went to the same hair salon.
Just look at their hair...

Lemmy's hair is a dye job.
He has a little blond ponytail on the back of his head in NSMBWii...

The babies were sent to the present time on some sort of special mission that involves playing sports.
Why else would they be there?

The second Luigi in SMG was the result of Luigi winning the title of "Superstar of the Universe" in Mario Party 3.
He's the default character of MP3's story mode. The cursor is on him at the start. He's the only one without his own Star Stamp. Canonically, he was the winner.  Thus, the Millenium Star put a clone of Luigi in space to help save the universe when the time arose.

Mr. Hoggle is a smuggler from Diamond City hiding out in Glitzville. The Yoshi Kid's egg was stolen goods.
Where else would he have gotten it? Come to think of it, who the hell would want to eat a Yoshi egg anyway? Sounds like it's against the law to me. I say he's from Diamond City because it has a sizable talking animal population.

The Yoshies on Isle Delfino were made by the Gaddbrush's goop, if not mutated by it.
That's why they only come in three convenient colors and melt when they touch the water.

Having your shoes taken away and being forced to walk on all fours is a form of punishment in the Koopa Troop.
Hey, it beats getting burned to a crisp.

Goombas have minor telekinesis.
That's how they can carry stuff.

Ratooeys are a near-extinct species.
We've seen a grand total of two of them.

The Mushroom World's TV stations can transmit signals across dimensions.
That's how Francis was able to see all those shows he obsesses over.

Mario's hat is the source of his power.
He's twice as weak without it. Heck, they even use it as a visual cue for "one hit left" in Super Mario 3D Land.

"Plumber" is Mushroom World slang for "adventurer".
Think about it. The only four guys dressed as plumbers do more adventuring than actual plumbing. We never see any actual plumbers either.

Waluigi doesn't work for WarioWare because Wario didn't tell him about it.
He knew Waluigi would want a cut of the profits if not find a way to steal all of them outright. Plus he'd probably be able to make better microgames and faster given his technical prowess.

Mario got his castle in SML2 the same way Wario got his at the end of WL1.
He found the genie and gave him 99,999 coins. The reason he wished for it was so he'd have a place to hide from the paparazzi.

An explosion that permanently kills a Bob-Omb is more powerful than one that doesn't.
That's why they only use it as a last resort. Of course, the actual power of the explosion still depends on the Bob-Omb's level of strength.

Rosalina's storybook wasn't fully autobiographical.
There's no way she could've been on the comet for that long unless she's immortal, and I highly doubt some random girl from Mario's planet can suddenly live forever. Everyone's game has to end somewhere.

Time passes quicker on DK Isle than it does in the rest of the Mushroom World.
That's why Cranky is old and Tiny had that growth spurt. DK, Diddy and Dixie haven't aged much because they've been spending a lot of their time playing sports in the Mushroom Kingdom.

Winky the Frog died after the events of DKC.
His stuffed corpse is clearly seen in the background of Cranky's Monkey Museum in DKC2.

The machine in Wart's room was a food dispenser that malfunctioned shortly before Mario and co. arrived.
It was set to only make his favorite food, but the malfunction caused it to only make his least favorite food.

The fruit from the Super Happy Tree only works on Yoshies.
We've yet to see anybody else using their restorative powers. Not even Baby Bowser used them and it was right there in his room.

Brown Yoshies are rare.
Again, so far we've only seen two of them. Other colors are considerably more prevalent.

Booster Tower used to be a four-star hotel.
Then the Booster family steadily got more and more insane over the years and converted it into an indoor daredevil obstacle course.

The Shy Guy's mask is its face.
It contorts and makes expressions in Mario Strikers Charged. It's totally a removable face. The little robe thing is its body.

BP:
Diddy Kong ate his own parents. For fun.
To double the coolty of his orphan status

or

Diddy Kong shot his parents with a peanut gun and then ate them
Peanuts make a good topping

Paper Mario takes place in an alternate universe
I can excuse Peach's usefulness varying from game to game--Bowser's competence does as well. But Peach in the Paper Mario games seems to have an entirely different personality.

The devs of the Mario & Luigi games remember the whole "Magic turned the Toads into brick blocks and only Princess Toadstool can turn them back" part of Super Mario Bros.
Peach certainly displays mystical powers more than once in Superstar Saga and Partners in Time--her voice being the one that can wake up the Beanstar, her ability to trap a big ugly alien monster inside a blue rock that nobody even knew could be used for more than the power source for a time machine, she pulls stars out of nowhere in PiT's last battle

The devs of Super Mario RPG didn't remember they were making a Mario game half the time
GOBY

Bowser Jr. has some insecurities about being evil
I like to think he puts Bowser's wishes first but would at least give it some serious thought if he believed he had the choice between good and evil. He sure loves to talk about what Bowser will think of his current actions and how he'll be punished if he fails to stop Mario again in the Galaxy games. Mostly I just think it'd be pretty cool if for one game, he teamed up with Mario against Bowser, but for a believable reason. And not against some ghost lady in Bowser's body, either.

Peach's Castle in the Mario Kart games is only a model
You could argue Royal Raceway, Peach Gardens and more than one Mario Circuit have just been paved around it, taken down and redone, but how is the timing so perfect that there's never a race course going around it when a kidnapping goes down? There's never any construction happening, either. So Peach just has dozens of the places built wherever she god[darn] wants 'em and if anyone calls her out on it, she cries and Toadsworth has them executed by guillotine. It happens a lot and that's where Super Mushrooms come from.

The Chef:
Here's a few more:

The Painting Worlds from SM64 are Galaxies.
Would explain Throwback Galaxy. Also explains why all the worlds are floating in a void and have Power Stars littered about.

The Power Stars are similar to the One Ring.
Whenever Bowser gives one to a boss character, it corrupts their mind. Look what happened to that Wiggler in Tiny Huge Island. This also explains why everybody competes so ruthlessly in Mario Party.

Booster is a Berserker from Final Fantasy.
He wears a little viking helmet, has a crazy beard and seems to operate purely on impulse.

Tatanga lives in the Space Zone.
Can't think of where else he'd be from. Also the 3-Up Moons are his people's equivalent of Shine Sprites.

Those angry stars in the Space Zone are disgruntled Star Kids who were kicked out of Star Haven for misbehaving.
Tatanga then decided to enlist them as bodyguards.

Bowser is Jango Fett, Bowser Jr. is Boba Fett and the Koopa Kids are the Clone Troopers.
Not literally, of course. The Koopa Kids were Bowser's failed attempt to start his own Clone Wars, but they sucked so bad he now only uses them for party games. Bowser Jr. was the only one that came out right. This explains why Baby Bowser was suddenly redesigned to look like a copy of Bowser Jr. in PiT.

jdaster64:

--- Quote from: The Chef on August 30, 2011, 06:09:29 PM ---The Koopalings are Bowser's nephews and niece. Not his kids.
Would explain why they all look different. Would also explain why they only refer to them as his "underlings" in NSMBWii. Also gives Bowser Jr. a more meaningful existence as Bowser's son.

--- End quote ---
This makes about as much sense as anything else.  Forgive me for not reading up on my old-school SMB3 lore, but were they ever explicitly stated as being his children in the game they original appeared in (I never owned the NES version, so I don't have the manual handy).  Dang you, TMK manual section.  I think I'll accept this as canon nonetheless.


--- Quote from: The Chef on August 30, 2011, 08:11:22 PM ---The Power Stars are similar to the One Ring.
Whenever Bowser gives one to a boss character, it corrupts their mind. Look what happened to that Wiggler in Tiny Huge Island. This also explains why everybody competes so ruthlessly in Mario Party.

--- End quote ---
That was always what I thought of when I beat Wiggler in SM64.  Shoot, extending it to Mario Party makes that series make a heck of a lot more sense, though.

Toad:

--- Quote from: The Chef on August 30, 2011, 06:09:29 PM ---Goombella screwed up and actually meant to say Marilyn was a boy, not Vivian.
Really, Marilyn is the most masculine one.

--- End quote ---

GUH!

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