Fungi Forums
Miscellaneous => General Chat => Topic started by: Black Mage on May 22, 2008, 05:24:50 PM
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In this thread you can post reviews of toilet seats, please post the Ups and Downs (if you can find any) of toilet seats.
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Yesterday, I was watching Oprah. (Yes, I know).
Oprah was featuring some people who have extreme OCD. One guy could not stomach to sit down on any toilet seat. This man was too afraid of germs to use a normal toilet, so he had to go outside. He lost his job, wife, anf family because of it.
When he now told the audience that he was able to use the bathroom inside, everyone cheered for him. Oprah nonchalantly replied to this applause: "We're clapping for a grown man using the bathroom."
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The toilet seat: an ergonomic combination of comfort and style.
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Ups:
- You get to sit down on them. When you don't need to use it, you can just put the lid down and sit on it like a chair.
- They can look nice.
Downs:
- Sometimes they break.
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How do you clog a toilet seat?
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Only Vid can.
I think toilet seats frohn, personally. They make a handy frisbee.
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How do you clog a toilet seat?
I didn't see "seat". Fixed. XD
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(https://themushroomkingdom.net/board/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ftime4fun.my5gb.com%2Fwp-content%2Faccousticguitartoiletseat.jpg&hash=f2a6f09e5570bda0bba2ce408543d2a7)
I've been releasing some rock albums all night.
XD
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Thread of the year!
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Toilets? I think they're up, because if you have to go, then use it.
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I hate the toilet seats in a lot of public toilets, the ones with the really steep (like 30 degree) grade. It's uncomfortable and way to hard to, you know, do what you came in there to do.
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Sometimes I play my DS while I'm sitting on the toilet.
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Man, I had a friend who would spend 30-45 minutes with his DS for each "bathroom experience".
One time in a hotel I was leaning my ear to the door to show I could tell who he was fighting in Advance Wars 2 by the music. The door wasn't fully closed and I fell through. :S
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Let's just say that when I played any Phoenix Wright game, I could not put it down.
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I used to put Super Mario Land and a Game Genie into my red Game Boy Chunky, turn on the Always Super Mario, Infinite Lives, and Walk Through All Walls codes, go into the bathroom, and play all the way to Tatanga on the toilet. Those were the good days.
I don't presume to think I can make a comprehensive list of general ups and downs for toilet seats (I'm surprised no one's made the obvious joke yet), but I can talk about good and bad experiences I've had with toilet seats.
The toilet seats in my dorm room this past semester were quite nice, in and of themselves. Normally I'm not all that fond of the U-seats, but these redeemed themselves by being shaped and angled quite conveniently for excretory purposes. However, they were virtually always tainted by the misaims of simpletons who couldn't be bothered to lift the seat beforehand (or flush, for that matter). I have never been a fan of standing (I have terrible aim), which is why the seat is such an important factor for me, but even I can figure out "Lift seat, lower pants, pee, stop peeing, raise pants, lower seat, flush toilet, wash hands." Most of the males in my hall apparently do not understand and/or care about that.
Not all the on-campus toilet seat experiences have been enjoyable, mind you. One bathroom in particular, outside the dining hall, is rather high on my enemies list. The seats are made from a rather poor-quality plastic, feeling cheap and fragile, and unable to afford the soothing cooling that only porcelain can bring. Worse, in one stall, the seating position is situated considerably higher than normal, and in addition to making it more unpleasant for my legs, which must stretch a bit, it feels as though the toilet, which is sticking out of the wall rather than the floor, will simply break off under my weight, and the cheaply made seat is accomplice to this discomforting thought.
Toilet seats in my own home have rarely been pleasant. Originally, the single toilet we had in the house -- an appealing sky blue color, made from classically thick porcelain -- was as well-suited to my lower body as could be expected, as far as my memory serves. When my late grandmother moved in with us (take note that she was not yet late at the time), we added another bathroom to the house, which, as one might expect, also brought us a new toilet, with its seat. This toilet seat, by virtue of the size of its counterpart, was noticeably smaller than its sky-blue brother, but this mattered little to me at the time, for it was still of ample size for me, and the sky-blue toilet was still there for me. Furthermore, the new toilet seat had a pleasant, furry cover (not on the layer for excretory use, but the outermost, decorative lid), and was rather comfortable to sit on simply for the purpose of pants-wearing sitting.
But one fateful day, seats began to fracture. Replacement seats were purchased from a home improvement store, without a great deal of thought. The new seats were larger, more elongated; made from carved pieces of wood, sealed with the manufacturer's sealant. The seats were more elongated than necessary, and so undesired contact could inadvertently be made with the interior of the toilet bowl, with no seat back there to prohibit such occurences. Furthermore, the seat was clearly not made out of a single piece of wood, but of at least three smaller squares glued together laterally. Before long, cracks between these pieces became evident, which also began to render the manufacturer's sealant moot.
The newer, smaller toilet had its seat replaced, this time with a stuffed vinyl seat. This was undoubtedly the worst toilet seat I can recall interacting with. Far from the cooling sensation of porcelain seats, this vinyl seat seemed to collect heat, and had an affinity for lower-body perspiration. Its sweat habit was certainly aided by the way the seat formed to the buttocks of the user, creating concave areas for sweat to pool. Alas, even attempting to switch to standing brought no relief: the overpuffiness of the lid meant that it would not allow itself to stay up, and hence the only way to avoid disaster was to lean forward and hold the seat and lid up with the free hand; not a pleasant experience. This became necessary, however, because the bathroom housing the sky-blue toilet of old, long past its glory days, was rapidly deteriorating, and no one seemed to care enough to clean it. I watched with a heavy heart and tear-filled eyes as the bathroom of my youth was slowly destroyed before my eyes, epitomizing the loss of childhood.
To make a long story short, today we have three toilets in the house. The sky-blue toilet has been put to rest, both in body and spirit. The bathroom that rose, phoenix-like, from its water-stained ashes, is home to a toilet with an even smaller seat than the second toilet. That one now has a new seat, still a bit small, but at least it's solid. The third toilet, of course, has the smallest seat of them all -- or so I am told, for I have not had the courage to try that one. I doubt I could ever pry myself free after sitting upon it, and that is a death I do not wish to die.
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An absurdly well thought-out, anecdotal post (http://themushroomkingdom.net/board/index.php?topic=11720.msg509681#msg509681). I get the feeling you're intentionally finding brilliance in the mundane.
Anyway, I share(d) your woes on dormitory lavatory conditions. Those careless, heartless mess-makers...
Another thing I found amusing was the comparison of the description of a toilet seat to the destruction of your youth. Most directors, writers, and so on don't have the gumption to make such bold metaphors. They use silly stuff like the government, rebellion, even seasons.
EDIT: Added a link for posterity. I apologize for taking your light from the current page.
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I have always been pretty good at wordy descriptions of mundane things. I still remember a creative writing thing I did in 9th or 10th grade where I basically narrativized a partly fictional school day, putting together actual occurences from different days, like the time we tried to figure out how X can be equal to the negative square root of X over X, or the time in guitar class where we decided that instead of switching chords, we'd each pick one chord of the song to play, and the others would pretend to play it, while actually holding their chord for later.
It wasn't really thought-out, though. My stuff like this pretty much just gets dumped out in order. I might have gone back and revised it a little if I wasn't typing on my Wii, with only a two-line display, but probably not much. I hardly ever look over anything I write before finishing it. I finish my first draft of 15-page papers about an hour before they're due, and then just hand them in like that, and I'v always gotten good grades on them. One got an 88 after losing a full letter grade for a rather silly plagarism charge, and another got a 99. I don't know what that one point off was for, but it's probably just because that prof would never give out a 100. (That reminds me, I once got a 99 in gym back in high school, which makes no sense. Even if I had been absent or forgot my clothes one day, I'm pretty sure that would have been 5 points off. And it couldn't have been based on fitness or effort, because I certainly wasn't that good at either.) I'll usually look over multiple-choice answers again before I turn in the test, but I can't remember the last time it helped me. And the essays I write for tests feel so poorly written that I don't want to look at them again (though they usually get pretty good grades too).
I think I just wordily described the mundane again, didn't I?
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red Game Boy Chunky
I never heard that term before. Many people that I know (myself included) refer to the original Game Boy as "The Brick." Mine was clear btw.
As for me, I guess I'm not all that picky about toilet seats. I haven't found one that I hated lately anyway...
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I hate the toilet seats in a lot of public toilets, the ones with the really steep (like 30 degree) grade. It's uncomfortable and way to hard to, you know, do what you came in there to do.
I agree with this. Combine this with the fact that those seats are usually loose due to rusted or corroded screws.