Author Topic: The (x + 1)-word Mario story! (Read 21834 times)

CrossEyed7 · « **Reply #60 on:** July 05, 2010, 09:42:05 PM »

...first asked why the cop suddenly wasn't blind anymore.

"...Well, you see, little mushroom man, I was blinded many years ago from traumatization. A large man wearing a purple shirt and yellow overalls ate a guy like you, but starting from the head rather than the feet. I suppose seeing the same thing in reverse turned my eyes back on."

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TLW · « **Reply #61 on:** July 06, 2010, 02:14:12 PM »

He then slowly lifted his gun, placing it against his temple, and pulled the trigger. To this day, no one can put their finger on why he had shot himself. Some say it was the years of sight rushing back to him, but my money is on the fact that his first sight in years was this wide array of debauchery.

61 words, ladies.

CrossEyed7 · « **Reply #62 on:** July 06, 2010, 03:30:47 PM »

"All according to keikaku*!" laughed Robotnik. "Now to begin reverse engineering this guy's Cybertronian armor. And then... THE WORLD!!"

"Do you really think it will be that easy?" asked a familiar voice.

Robotnik swerved his head around, and, sure enough, met the smug face of Rouge the Bat. "So, are you just here to quote lines from Sonic Adventure 2, or..."

* - Keikaku means plan

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PaperLuigi · « **Reply #63 on:** July 06, 2010, 03:49:56 PM »

"...flash me? Because we all know that basement-dwelling fanboys will pay millions to see you do that. That's why you were created, basically."

Coming to the realization that she was merely fan service, Rouge decided to kill herself. Before she could however, Toad arose, completely regenerated from his wounds. "Prepare to die," he muttered to them all, brandishing a horribly powerful sword.

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CrossEyed7 · « **Reply #64 on:** July 07, 2010, 11:19:06 PM »

Toad swiped his sword at Rouge, who quickly dodged to one side.

"Attacking a lady? Shame on you!"

Waluigi threw down his mop in frustration. "Fine, go ahead and fight each other some more, but don't expect me to clean up the blood again. I'm gonna go taste test those dang tacos now." He shuffled off, at a moderately brisk pace, throwing dirty looks...

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PaperLuigi · « **Reply #65 on:** July 08, 2010, 12:01:25 AM »

...at Robotnik, who was responsible for this mess. Robotnik, fearing that he might lose his only employee, gave Waluigi a PROMOTION!

"That meme wasn't funny the first time you said it," grumbled Waluigi, who accepted the position of assistant manager anyway. Meanwhile, Rouge and Toad were fighting it out at speeds unmeasurable by the cop's speedometer. This was causing expensive damage to Robotnik's restaurant, which...

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CrossEyed7 · « **Reply #66 on:** July 08, 2010, 10:45:04 PM »

...had certainly seen better days. Not wanting to interrupt the fight, as he was quite enjoying it, Robotnik made a note to call a contractor or something to repair the damage when it was all over. He wondered if Scapelli was still in the business after being de-evolved into a chimpanzee.

Meanwhile, in the taco taste test chamber, Waluigi grabbed the taco that held his pinky...

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PaperLuigi · « **Reply #67 on:** July 08, 2010, 10:54:36 PM »

...and promptly devoured it. It was a well-established fact that Waluigi loved the taste of FLESH! Not soon after, however, he began to experience intense stomach cramps brought on by the consumption of his finger, which had become rotten after waiting so long for CrossEyed7 to revive the story. Waluigi dashed to the bathroom and relieved himself by puking all over the place. It was truly...

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CrossEyed7 · « **Reply #68 on:** July 09, 2010, 10:54:52 PM »

...a sight to behold, a Technicolor wonderland of puke. Purple was to be expected, of course, but the oranges and the greens and the deep, deep maroons just went above and beyond the call of color.

"Bravo on that puking!" rang out a familiar voice who had been watching from a stall. "I'd like to hire you on my elite squadron of professional pukers!" Waluigi turned. It was...

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PaperLuigi · « **Reply #69 on:** July 09, 2010, 11:17:39 PM »

...a voice so familiar that the familiarity familiarness would have to be revealed in the next post. Meanwhile, Toad and Rouge continued to bring down the house.

Literally, their fighting was so intense that it caused Dorthy's house to fall from the sky and crush Robotnik. Robotnik's legs promptly shriveled up, and his not so magic shoes suddenly appeared on Wario's feet. While this was going on, Waluigi and...

69 *snicker*

PaperLuigi · « **Reply #70 on:** July 14, 2010, 09:26:30 PM »

...Conker the Squirrel were busy plotting their escape. You see, Conker had grown tired of his years under Microsoft control and longed for the days of yore where he battled giant piles of poop and aided drunken bees in pollinating oversexed flowers. Unfortunately, Waluigi was his only connection to Nintendo at this point.

Wario now possessed a pair of the most disgusting shoes in all of the video game world.

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CrossEyed7 · « **Reply #71 on:** July 17, 2010, 11:25:54 PM »

He put them on his ears, not wanting to take the time to take off the shoes he was currently wearing. They fit his ears well, as both shared a common elf shape. It had a bit of an adverse effect on his hearing, though, which would be important later on.

Meanwhile, Waluigi and Conker were examining the contents of the toilets, making sure none of them sang above a baritone.

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PaperLuigi · « **Reply #72 on:** July 19, 2010, 04:15:26 PM »

"Um, why are we staring at this toilet again?" questioned Waluigi.

"I had a little run in with a giant turd awhile back," said Conker.

Waluigi then began questioning whether or not it was a good idea to team up with Conker. Meanwhile, the battle between Toad and Rouge was coming to a close. Toad was quickly running out of oil, so he dashed over to the nearest gas station to rejuvenate.

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PaperLuigi · « **Reply #73 on:** July 25, 2010, 12:25:56 AM »

Come on guys, don't let this thread die. We need other people to post!

PaperLuigi · « **Reply #74 on:** July 26, 2010, 11:55:04 PM »

Unfortunately the gas station was owned by BP and therefore had no gas to refill Toad's internal combustion engine.

"Ah, fu-" muttered Toad as he shut down. Rouge, seeing this as a perfect opportunity to strike, honed in on his unconscious body. But before she could deliver the finishing blow, Robotnik's tattered restaurant exploded into a million pieces! In its place stood the Great Mighty Poo, who had Conker and Waluigi in hand.