Fungi Forums
Miscellaneous => Forum Games => Topic started by: Nintendo Bros. on December 10, 2006, 02:12:43 PM
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Here's a fan fic i've been working on. It consists of Mario and the Nintendo gang in comic problems and such.
Apologies to these great artists:
Charles M. Schulz-----------Peanuts
Jim Davis-------------------Garfield
Bill Watterson--------------Calvin and Hobbes
Patrick Mcdonnell-----------Mutts
Darby Conley----------------Get Fuzzy
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Chapter 1: The World War I Flying Ace
Mario and Luigi were walking down to the city and walked past Charlie Brown's house. "Mama Mia, what are we doing here in a comic strip?!" asked Mario. They were both confused and they saw Charlie Brown. "Hello." he said. "What are your guys name? You from Italy?" "Nah, from the Mushroom Kingdom" replied Luigi. "What are we doing here in a comic strip?" Charlie Brown was laughing. "Because Nintendo Bros. put you guys here!" "Who?" both asked. "Nintendo Bros. is a famous pair of brothers who run Nintendo" Charlie Brown answered. "Just stick around for a while!" "Okay-dokey!" said Mario. "It IS time for a change. Come on, Luigi!"
When the Mario Bros. went to the backyard of Charlie Brown's house, Snoopy was his alter ego, The World War I Flying Ace. "Hello, little doggy!" said Luigi, in a cute voice. "HEY, YOU ENLISTED MEN!" "The Flying Ace" said. "WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO ME LIKE THAT? THIS IS WAR, AND WAR IS NOT PRETTY!" "What war?" asked Mario. "ARE YOU BLIND? This is World War I and I'm about to shoot the-oh crap! It's the RED BARON! You fellas need to come with me!" Snoopy grapped them and they flown on his doghouse, or "sopwith camel". "Wait, that's not the Red Baron, Snoopy!" said Mario. "It's-" "BWA HA HA! It's about time I found you." It was Bowser...
Chapter 2 coming soon!
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I have only four words to say to you:
STOP. WRITING. THIS. NOW.
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I have only four words to say to you:
STOP. WRITING. THIS. NOW.
Seconded.
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Whoa, smackdown.
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LOL at Sushie Boy's post.
Yeah guys, talk about bashing something before it's even into the second chapter. Although it could use improvement.......a LOT of improvement.
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Not only is this a bad idea to begin with, but it's only two paragraphs and he already completely destroyed Snoopy's character. That enrages me.
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Don't forget Woodstock!
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Okay I've been avoiding chiming in to this, but there is nothing I like to see more than characters getting "ruined", and really I want to see this continue.
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Well, I just hope he doesn't touch Cosmo and Shoe. Those two are my favorite in the Sunday papers.
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Okay I've been avoiding chiming in to this, but there is nothing I like to see more than characters getting "ruined", and really I want to see this continue.
You're cruel.
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Well, I hoe you guys are happy, now that you ruined my fan fic. HERE'S A TIP: IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, DON'T SAY ANYTHING!!!
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HERE'S A TIP: IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, DON'T SAY ANYTHING!!!
Not trying to sound mean or anything, but if that's the case, then how are you supposed to improve your story if no one can give you constructive critism?
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"STOP. WRITING. THIS. NOW." is not constructive criticism.
"Not only is this a bad idea to begin with, but it's only two paragraphs and he already completely destroyed Snoopy's character. That enrages me." is not constructive criticism.
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Yeah, but it's still not very good. The first paragraph is only a few sentences long. You need to start out with something longer in order to get an audience.
Also, the wording is very confusing. There are times when I think Mario is talking when really it's Snoopy......or Bowser........or whatever. The intro needs work too. Mario and Luigi are all of a sudden inside the comic, without much to explan why, except "Nintendo Bros. put us here." It'd be cooler if there was little bit before that! (Like, for instance, Mario and Luigi find the comic strip and get sucked inside.) It shouldn't be so random; the plot suffers from little things like that.
Don't give up on your fan-fic. Keep working on it to make it better. (I think this might serve as constructive critisism.)
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Whatever you do, don't do anything that would embarass the greatness of the funniest fat cat in newspapers, or any other comic for that matter.
Actually, I'd kind of like to see what Mario and the gang would do in "B.C." But I kind of have to agree with everyone else, this was not a good idea to begin with, but unlike everyone else, I have to admit that it is an interesting idea at the least. Just not a good idea. There's a difference between interesting and good.
Would this be considered constructive critisism?
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Everyone else?
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I thought this thread had died long ago.
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I'm going to apologize for what I said before, and now that I'm in a better mood than I was than I initially read this thing, I'll tell exactly what I found wrong with it.
- Charlie Brown never laughs. He just wasn't sad enough in general.
- As PL said before, you barely explained how Mario and Luigi got where they were.
- Since Mario and Luigi are adults, they cannot be seen in the Peanuts comic, and their voices must represented by honking noises.
- Snoopy cannot talk, and nobody actually interacts with him when he's one of his alter-egos.
It seems like you have a lot to learn about both the Peanuts universe as well as how to make a crossover fic work well.
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You're ruining his fanfic
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Um...EXCUSE ME?!?
I'm a Peanuts Fanactic! I have those books called The Complete Peanuts! I know plenty of the Peanuts universe. I was just bored. THINKBEFOREYOUPOSTKTHANXBAI.
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I'll bet I know more about Peanuts than you. >:D
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Ohhhh, showdown....
SCORE:
NB: 0
TC: 0
Let's duel!
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Let's not.
Listen, if you really think you know so much about the universe of Peanuts, write the rest of this fanfic. I thought that this topic WAS a fanfic right?
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PL: 1
You're in the lead!!
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No, I'm not. Showdowns never end well.
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*Blood starts sperding out of the battle arena"
ALL RIGHT! I except your showdown!
Let's see... Charles M. Schulz's studio was in the city of Minnaepolis, Minnesota! BEAT THAT!
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OK then. Snoopy's siblings are named: Spike, Andy, Olaf, Marbles and Belle. Two others were referenced in the special, Snoopy's Reunion, which were named Rover and Molly, but they have never appeared in the offical canon.
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So yeah you know this thread is totally worthless now because it's almost on page three and it's been nearly a month and there's been no follow-up and it's just a bunch of people hating on Nintendo Bros.
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I can only assume you haven't seen NB's past posts, EM. He still hasn't cleaned up his act.
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I can only assume you haven't seen my past posts, TC. I never saw anything wrong with what he was doing.
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PL: 1
TC: 1
NB: 1
It's a tie!!
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I know that Charlie's last name is Brown. Oh, what now? Beat that, sucka's!
Seriously, I think this thread should be dead now.
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I can only assume you haven't seen my past posts, TC. I never saw anything wrong with what he was doing.
I figured you wouldn't. However, the rest of us were kinda peeved at how he insisted on using the term "gay" as an insult.
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Uh... where?
EDIT: Oh yeah, I remember hearing about that ...despite the fact that he hasn't done that in quite some time, most significantly that he hasn't used the word "gay" since starting this thread.
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If you want a crossover like this to work, have the Bros somehow be turned into kids.
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PL: 2
TC: 1
NB: 1
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Okay, I know that Snoopy is a dog. I'm so gonna win this.
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PL: 3
TC: 1
NB: 1
I think we have a weiner... I mean winner!!
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And Linus likes to carry a blanket. That's blue! Double points, man.
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PL: 5
TC: 1
NB: 1
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Since when were you even in this challenge, PL? Better yet, all the things you listed are so obvious that they making my head explode on the inside. Wait! I know, I'll quiz you on your real Peanuts knowledge! (No cheating by looking the answers up)
1) What is Charlie Brown's father' occupation?
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A barber.
Lucy is the No. 1 Fussbudget
Schroder likes Beethoven, Brahms, and any other classical music, has a own piano.
Sally has a crush on Linus.
Lucy has a crush on Schroder.
Linus has a crush on Miss Othmar.
Charlie Brown has a crush on the Little Red Haired Girl (Duh)
Snoopy has a crush on the French Country Lass (as the World War I Flying Ace)
Snoopy's best friend is Woodstock.
Charlie Brown is...well...he seems emo
Shermy, Patty, Violet, Charlotte Braun, and "5" were characters that got thrown away from the Peanuts cast.
Let's see...that's about...um...oh! 12 POINTS!!! BEAT THAT!!!
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PL: 5
TC: 1
NB: 13!!
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Yeah, The Chef, I think you lost.
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Bah, those facts were just amateur stuff.
-There was a character named 555. His father was named 1 and his mother was named 2. He had two sisters named 3 and 4. Schultz did this to show his opinion about today's stressed out modern world.
-Charlie Brown's father is a barber.
-Schroder was named after someone Schultz knew in college. He couldn't remember the guy's first name.
-Peppermint Patty was not actually named after the candy, as she was created before it's time.
-Franklin in the first African American character in the Peanuts cast.
-The other birds seen hanging around Snoopy and Woodstock are named Bill, Oliver, Conrad and Harriet.
-Snoopy's brother Marbles wore shoes.
-Snoopy's brother Spike is a personal friend of Mickey Mouse.
-Spike was also briefly taken in by Eudora, a later female character.
-The school that Sally goes to has a mind of it's own.
-Lucy and Linus had a brother named Rerun later on.
-Rerun got his name after Lucy expressed frustration over getting another brother.
-Peppermint Patty's real name is Patricia.
-Spike's best friend is Joe Cactus.
-Woodstock claims to be part eagle.
-Charlie Brown got Snoopy from the Daisy Hill Puppy Farm when he was little. His mother opted to get him a dog after a kid at the playground dumped a bucket of sand on his head.
-The aforementioned event is based on one of Schultz's one-panel Lil' Folks comics, which featured the first appearance of the name Charlie Brown.
-Linus' teacher Miss Othmar, is also named after someone Schultz knew in real life.
All of those are off the top of my head. Like I said before, no cheating.
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"Peppermint Patty was not actually named after the candy, as she was created before it's time."
Um...no. Schulz walked into his home and saw a bowl of those and said, well, i'll have a girl named Peppermint Patty in my comic!
Oh yeah?
Peppermint Patty always gets a D-Minus
Charlie Brown always falls for Lucy's Football Trick
Schulz's middle name is Monroe
"Pig-Pen" is always in a comic where the topic is Hygeine
Linus confuses Halloween with Christmas, believing in the "Great Pumpkin"
Snoopy sometimes refer to Charlie Brown as "That Round-Headed Kid"
Charlie Brown and gang are TERRIBLE at Baseball
"You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown" is a Broadway classic
Schulz died on Feb. 12, 2000
AND...
Angry Ticks come from George Costanza's Nipples!
http://angryticksfirefromgeorgecostanzasnipples.ytmnd.com/
9 more points, The Chef. Just give up!
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Um...no. Schulz walked into his home and saw a bowl of those and said, well, i'll have a girl named Peppermint Patty in my comic!
Um..no. That's just a rumor. Peppermint Patty made her first appearance in the strip before the candy was ever created. Get your facts straight.
Also, don't gloat. I haven't begun to scratch the surface. All of your facts are blatantly obvious to non-hardcore Peanuts fans, so you're the one who seems desparate, considering your childish way of mocking me by posting a retarded YTMND.
Anyway, on with the facts...
-The Little Red-Haired girl was named "Heather" in one of the Peanuts specials, but this is non-canon.
-Charlie Brown once tried his luck with a girl named Peggy Jean in one story arc.
-Peggy Jean referred to Charlie Brown as "Brownie Charles".
-Snoopy planned to get married, but the bride ran off with Spike.
-Snoopy was owned by a girl named Lila before he belonged to Charlie Brown.
-Schultz admits to not liking Pig Pen very much, despite the character's large fan following.
-Schultz got the idea for Schroder's character when he drew a picture of Charlie Brown singing.
-Charlie Brown is not actually bald. His hair is just really light colored.
-Snoopy's other personas include Joe Cool and The Masked Marvel.
-Olaf looks the least similar to Snoopy out of all of his siblings.
-The first Peanuts special, A Charlie Brown Christmas, was sponsored by Coca-Cola. All of it's product placement in the intro was cut from any and all later airings.
The Current Score....
TC: 30
NB: 22
PL: 5
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I thought Sushie Boy was the one keeping score.
You obviously both know a nice deal about Peanuts, which is still pointless and dumb because if you hate fanfiction that ruins them so much, don't read it.
And, as an unaffiliated person who is not bound by the rules of this game, York Peppermint Patties were first produced in 1940, seven years before Lil' Folks, ten years before Peanuts, and twenty-six years before Peppermint Patty's first appearance.
(however, they weren't sold nationally until 1974)
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TC: 30
NB: 22
PL: 5
EM: 1
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I thought Sushie Boy was the one keeping score.
You obviously both know a nice deal about Peanuts, which is still pointless and dumb because if you hate fanfiction that ruins them so much, don't read it.
Actually, NB wrote this with the intention of showing his appreciation of Peanuts, but he ended up ruining it due to his limited knowledge of what Peanuts is truely like. He claims otherwise, hence the reason why I started this little contest. I'd actually better end it before it gets out of hand, unless the mods decide to split it off into it's own thread.
And, as an unaffiliated person who is not bound by the rules of this game, York Peppermint Patties were first produced in 1940, seven years before Lil' Folks, ten years before Peanuts, and twenty-six years before Peppermint Patty's first appearance.
(however, they weren't sold nationally until 1974)
That still doesn't prove that that's where he got the name, considering that last part.
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And the odds of it being a coincidence are?
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I dunno. There's still no concrete proof.
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But you definitely can't say it was the other way around.
(Not that you did, I'm just sayin')
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Since when were you even in this challenge, PL? Better yet, all the things you listed are so obvious that they making my head explode on the inside.
The fact that you couldn't figure out that all of my answers were complete jokes made my head explode too!
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Sorry. I was blinded by my own anger. <:(
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So'kay.
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Where's NB? I gotta tell him that the contest is off.
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Fine, but i still know alot about Peanuts.
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Wow! That was the best debate i ever read!
Continue with your story.
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Fine, but i still know alot about Peanuts.
But do you know enough to finish this little ficcy properly? ;)
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Um...MODERATORS! LOCK! Um...close? Ah...Trash? um...
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But do you know enough to finish this little ficcy properly? ;)
As the artist, he can choose what is proper and what is not.
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Alright, but don't be surprised if he manages to make me mad by killing the Peanuts character.
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All right, how about, for the billionth time, you just don't freakin' read it?
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TC, if you think he's messing up the Peanuts, get out. You complaining is obviously not going to work.
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I really didn't mean to offend you, TC. BUT IT IS FREEDOM OF SPEECH!
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I'll admit I kinda overreacted in the beginning of the thread, but I was merely trying to aid a fellow Peanuts-lover. NB clearly wanted to show his appreciation of Peanuts, but it didn't turn out so well by Peanuts fan standards. I was also kinda trying to help him improve his reputation on our board, but he seems to backing himself up very crappily, as he always has.
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Yeah, i'm not the idiot who says this crap about you, but okay. You did not try to aid me, you simply just challenged me.
As Sean Connery says, "You have the manners of a goat!"
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Not sure what you meant about not saying crap about me, but as for the challange, I was merely testing you.
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"but he seems to backing himself up very crappily, as he always has."
Yeah...EXPLAIN THAT!
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Please write the rest of your story.
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Oh gee, PL. I thought you agreed with TC that fan fic sucked. Ah well.
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We'd like to see if you can improve it.
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Oh gee, PL. I thought you agreed with TC that fan fic sucked. Ah well.
Read my review on the first page. Just because I think it sucked, doesn't mean you shouldn't try and improve.