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« on: November 13, 2001, 03:25:01 AM »
"Hurry up, Mario! You're gonna make us late!"
Luigi stood impatiently by the door, tapping his foot in frustration. He nervously straightened his tie and adjusted his cuflinks.
"C'mon! Both Peach and Toad have been ready for the past twenty minutes!"
"I'm coming!" Mario yelled back from the other side, "Just another minute!"
"Yeah," Luigi muttered, "another one of your 'ten minute-minutes.'" He looked at his wrist, despite his not having worn a watch.
The sound of someone coming up the stairs got Luigi's attention.
"He's STILL not ready?" Toad said, approaching. He, too, was dressed in rather fancy attire. "Even the Princess didn't take this long! Why'd he have to go and wait until the last minute?"
"That's Mario for you," Luigi said, less than amused. "He'll be late for everthing but dinner."
"But this IS a dinner!" Toad protested.
"Yeah, at Wario's."
Toad shivered at that. "Don't remind me. I don't see why that creep wanted us to come to his stupid castle in the first place."
"Eh," Luigi began, chuckling a bit, "perhaps he just needs more people to annoy."
"Oh, cut it out, you two," Peach said, climbing the stairs. "You have to give him a bit more credit than that. This is a cordial dinner invitation. Perhaps he's turned over a new leaf and wants to show his appreciation for his fellow man."
Neither Toad nor Luigi could hold back their laughter.
"Bahahahaha! Oh Princess," Luigi said, wiping a tear from his eye, "your guess was even funnier than mine!"
"Hmmph!" Peach remarked, crossing her arms, "you've no faith in anybody any more!"
"Oh no, Princess," Luigi replied, recovering from the laughter, "I have all faith in others. It just seems a bit out of character. What next- will we have Bowser throwing us parties?"
Toad guffawed at the thought, but managed to supress any laughter.
"Well-" Peach began, just as she was cut off by the sound of a nearby door opening.
There stood Mario, dressed in a slick black tuxedo. His hair was neatly groomed, his suit smoothly ironed without a single pasta stain or greasy smudge. He looked about as classy as a plumber could look.
"Talk about out of character," Toad said, smiling.
"Wow, bro!" Luigi exclaimed, "you're looking fantastic!"
"I'd better," Mario replied, "you ever tried putting on a tuxedo?"
"Well," Peach interrupted, "now that we're all ready, we should really get going. Wario's castle is a ways away."
And with that, the four set out, down the road.
... * ...
After a rather uneventful trip and two rounds of "99 jars of spaghetti sauce on the wall," the group finally arrived at Wario's castle. The hefty door knocker made a reverberating sound that echoed throughout the halls. Wario swung open the large door and stood before them.
"What?" he said bluntly, busy eating a bucket of chicken.
He stood for a second examining the group, all dressesd up nicely for the occasion. He, of course, wore his usual filthy-smelling clothes. He looked at Mario and froze.
"BAAAA HAAHAAHAAHAA!!" He broke into an outragous laughter, spewing bits of chicken all over Mario's texedo. "Oah, Mario! You look like a penguin! AAH HAAAHAAAHAAA!"
"Wario!" Peach broke in sternly, "we're dressed up for the dinner that you invited us to tonight! If it wasn't going to be so formal you could've told us!"
"Nah," Wario said, "more fun this way. Come inside, I've got lotsa chicken." He then walked away, leaving the four standing there.
"Ugh!" Mario stood revolted, wiping the bits of chicken off of his jacket with a handkerchief. "We got all dressed up and came all this way just to eat bucket chicken in Wario's crummy castle?"
"Come now, Mario," Peach comforted, starting to not even believe herself, "his intentions are still good."
"I'm not sure how much more of his 'good intentions' I can take," Luigi said, starting through the large doorway. Everyone else followed.
The inside of Wario's castle was as anyone could've expected. Statues of himself lined the corridors, small piles of garbage collected in the corners. The group was quick to make its way down the dining hall where Wario sat in wait.
"'Bout time!" Wario complained, "Didja get lost on the way in?"
"No, we-" Mario began.
"Oh, oh, I know," Wario interrupted, "You were just admiring all of the handsome statues in the hall." Wario made a large, smarmy grin beneath his pointy mustache. "When you're as great as me, you can have whatever you want in your castle!"
Wario stuck his hand in his bucket for more chicken, but only managed to rattle around the stripped bones.
"Hey fungus," he said to toad, "gimme one of those buckets." He gestured to the table where several more sat.
"Oh come, Wario," Peach said angrily, "what makes you think that you can just boss people around?"
Wario stood up tall. "I am the great and powerful WARIO!! I'm better than ANYBODY else! No one can beat me!"
"Hah!" Luigi snapped back, "we, the renowned Mario Brothers, are at least a HUNDRED times better than you are!"
"Oh yeah!? Wanna bet?"
Peach was becoming worried. "No, I don't think-"
"We can win against you, Wario!" Mario said, having full confidence in his and his borther's abilities. "What do you have in mind?"
Wario thought a moment.
"You," he pointed at the brothers, "need to get me (the great WARIO) that, um..." he started gesturing in the air with his hand. "That spikey collar-thingy that Bowser wears."
"Bowser's collar?" Mario asked, "but why-"
"'Cause I said so! Shaddap!" Wario started again. "Anyway: get Bowser's collar-thingy and bring it back here. Then MAYBE I'll consider you worthwhile."
"Mario!" Peach interrupted, "this is insane! You shouldn't-"
"We'll do it!" Mario yelled.
"Good!" Wario agreed. "Can you be finished in a week?"
Luigi looked uncertain. "Uh, I don't think that's enough time..."
"Perfect!" Wario said smugly. "You've got three days."
"But-" Mario protested.
"GET OUTTA MY CASTLE!!" Wario yelled at the top of his voice. Mario, Luigi, Peach and Toad all ran as fast as they could manage. The door slammed firmly shut as they escaped.
"At least we know that Wario hasn't changed," Luigi tried to comfort.
The four sat silent for a moment.
"Are you happy, Mario?" Peach scolded, "How in the world do you plan to get out of this one?"
...
To be continued...
Go Moon!
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