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Author Topic: Toilet seat's Ups and Downs  (Read 8010 times)

Black Mage

  • HP 1018 MP 685
« on: May 22, 2008, 05:24:50 PM »
In this thread you can post reviews of toilet seats, please post the Ups and Downs (if you can find any) of toilet seats.

Koopaslaya

  • Kansas
« Reply #1 on: May 22, 2008, 05:31:56 PM »
Yesterday, I was watching Oprah. (Yes, I know).

Oprah was featuring some people who have extreme OCD. One guy could not stomach to sit down on any toilet seat. This man was too afraid of germs to use a normal toilet, so he had to go outside. He lost his job, wife, anf family because of it.

When he now told the audience that he was able to use the bathroom inside, everyone cheered for him. Oprah nonchalantly replied to this applause: "We're clapping for a grown man using the bathroom."
Εὐθύνατε τὴν ὁδὸν Κυρίου

« Reply #2 on: May 22, 2008, 05:37:21 PM »
The toilet seat: an ergonomic combination of comfort and style.
"MY FAVORITE PART WAS WHEN RICK ASTLEY SAID HE'D NEVER LET ME DOWN" - Cosbydaf

« Reply #3 on: May 22, 2008, 06:22:34 PM »
Ups:
- You get to sit down on them. When you don't need to use it, you can just put the lid down and sit on it like a chair.
- They can look nice.

Downs:
- Sometimes they break.
« Last Edit: May 22, 2008, 07:33:51 PM by Vidgmchtr »
"Be yourself. Everyone else is taken."

MaxVance

  • Vance Vance Revolution
« Reply #4 on: May 22, 2008, 06:40:00 PM »
How do you clog a toilet seat?
Remember that your first Goomba boldly you walk? When Mario touched that mushroom being brought up more largely remember that you are surprised? Miscalculate your jump that pit remember that it falls?

Glorb

  • Banned
« Reply #5 on: May 22, 2008, 07:23:01 PM »
Only Vid can.

I think toilet seats frohn, personally. They make a handy frisbee.
every

« Reply #6 on: May 22, 2008, 07:31:41 PM »
How do you clog a toilet seat?

I didn't see "seat". Fixed. XD
"Be yourself. Everyone else is taken."

Ambulance Y

  • raewrednu
« Reply #7 on: May 22, 2008, 08:44:38 PM »

I've been releasing some rock albums all night.
XD
Edward has always dreamed of becoming a female monkey.

Deezer

  • Invincible
« Reply #8 on: May 22, 2008, 08:45:04 PM »
Thread of the year!

« Reply #9 on: May 22, 2008, 09:04:44 PM »
Toilets? I think they're up, because if you have to go, then use it.
It's-a Me, Wii-Player

Insane Steve

  • Professional Cynic
« Reply #10 on: May 22, 2008, 10:33:51 PM »
I hate the toilet seats in a lot of public toilets, the ones with the really steep (like 30 degree) grade. It's uncomfortable and way to hard to, you know, do what you came in there to do.
~I.S.~

Kojinka

  • Bruised
« Reply #11 on: May 22, 2008, 11:44:10 PM »
Sometimes I play my DS while I'm sitting on the toilet.
Regards, Uncle Dolan

« Reply #12 on: May 23, 2008, 12:05:25 AM »
Man, I had a friend who would spend 30-45 minutes with his DS for each "bathroom experience".

One time in a hotel I was leaning my ear to the door to show I could tell who he was fighting in Advance Wars 2 by the music. The door wasn't fully closed and I fell through. :S

Suffix

  • Steamed
« Reply #13 on: May 23, 2008, 12:21:43 AM »
Let's just say that when I played any Phoenix Wright game, I could not put it down.

CrossEyed7

  • i can make this whatever i want; you're not my dad
« Reply #14 on: May 23, 2008, 03:23:15 AM »
I used to put Super Mario Land and a Game Genie into my red Game Boy Chunky, turn on the Always Super Mario, Infinite Lives, and Walk Through All Walls codes, go into the bathroom, and play all the way to Tatanga on the toilet. Those were the good days.

I don't presume to think I can make a comprehensive list of general ups and downs for toilet seats (I'm surprised no one's made the obvious joke yet), but I can talk about good and bad experiences I've had with toilet seats.

The toilet seats in my dorm room this past semester were quite nice, in and of themselves. Normally I'm not all that fond of the U-seats, but these redeemed themselves by being shaped and angled quite conveniently for excretory purposes. However, they were virtually always tainted by the misaims of simpletons who couldn't be bothered to lift the seat beforehand (or flush, for that matter). I have never been a fan of standing (I have terrible aim), which is why the seat is such an important factor for me, but even I can figure out "Lift seat, lower pants, pee, stop peeing, raise pants, lower seat, flush toilet, wash hands." Most of the males in my hall apparently do not understand and/or care about that.

Not all the on-campus toilet seat experiences have been enjoyable, mind you. One bathroom in particular, outside the dining hall, is rather high on my enemies list. The seats are made from a rather poor-quality plastic, feeling cheap and fragile, and unable to afford the soothing cooling that only porcelain can bring. Worse, in one stall, the seating position is situated considerably higher than normal, and in addition to making it more unpleasant for my legs, which must stretch a bit, it feels as though the toilet, which is sticking out of the wall rather than the floor, will simply break off under my weight, and the cheaply made seat is accomplice to this discomforting thought.

Toilet seats in my own home have rarely been pleasant. Originally, the single toilet we had in the house -- an appealing sky blue color, made from classically thick porcelain -- was as well-suited to my lower body as could be expected, as far as my memory serves. When my late grandmother moved in with us (take note that she was not yet late at the time), we added another bathroom to the house, which, as one might expect, also brought us a new toilet, with its seat. This toilet seat, by virtue of the size of its counterpart, was noticeably smaller than its sky-blue brother, but this mattered little to me at the time, for it was still of ample size for me, and the sky-blue toilet was still there for me. Furthermore, the new toilet seat had a pleasant, furry cover (not on the layer for excretory use, but the outermost, decorative lid), and was rather comfortable to sit on simply for the purpose of pants-wearing sitting.

But one fateful day, seats began to fracture. Replacement seats were purchased from a home improvement store, without a great deal of thought. The new seats were larger, more elongated; made from carved pieces of wood, sealed with the manufacturer's sealant. The seats were more elongated than necessary, and so undesired contact could inadvertently be made with the interior of the toilet bowl, with no seat back there to prohibit such occurences. Furthermore, the seat was clearly not made out of a single piece of wood, but of at least three smaller squares glued together laterally. Before long, cracks between these pieces became evident, which also began to render the manufacturer's sealant moot.

The newer, smaller toilet had its seat replaced, this time with a stuffed vinyl seat. This was undoubtedly the worst toilet seat I can recall interacting with. Far from the cooling sensation of porcelain seats, this vinyl seat seemed to collect heat, and had an affinity for lower-body perspiration. Its sweat habit was certainly aided by the way the seat formed to the buttocks of the user, creating concave areas for sweat to pool. Alas, even attempting to switch to standing brought no relief: the overpuffiness of the lid meant that it would not allow itself to stay up, and hence the only way to avoid disaster was to lean forward and hold the seat and lid up with the free hand; not a pleasant experience. This became necessary, however, because the bathroom housing the sky-blue toilet of old, long past its glory days, was rapidly deteriorating, and no one seemed to care enough to clean it. I watched with a heavy heart and tear-filled eyes as the bathroom of my youth was slowly destroyed before my eyes, epitomizing the loss of childhood.

To make a long story short, today we have three toilets in the house. The sky-blue toilet has been put to rest, both in body and spirit. The bathroom that rose, phoenix-like, from its water-stained ashes, is home to a toilet with an even smaller seat than the second toilet. That one now has a new seat, still a bit small, but at least it's solid. The third toilet, of course, has the smallest seat of them all -- or so I am told, for I have not had the courage to try that one. I doubt I could ever pry myself free after sitting upon it, and that is a death I do not wish to die.
"Oh man, I wish being a part of a Mario fan community was the most embarrassing thing about my life." - Super-Jesse

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