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Author Topic: (insert adjective here) stories  (Read 86446 times)

Lizard Dude

« Reply #45 on: July 23, 2003, 06:05:02 PM »
[Editor's Note: The following has been duly censored according to the FFGC regulations of 2000. Thank you.]


Me, Taking A [CENSORED], With A Bee

On one night of my recent trip, I camped out in the Cave Hills of South Dakota. That morning, I woke up a bit later then the rest of the family and because of this, they finished breakfast a bit earlier than me. I was just finishing my breakfast up, when they started off on a walk to a nearby mountain spring.


I was about to follow them. Suddenly, however, I was hit with the urge to [CENSORED]. I walked a little ways away from the camping area and found a nice 40 foot cliff. Thinking it would be great to [CENSORED] off of a 40 foot cliff, I stayed there and went about my business.


About seven seconds later, I heard a faint buzzing. Now the funny thing about buzzing, you can tell whether it's a fly buzzing or a huge, blood thirsty killer bee. This was definite huge, blood thirsty killer bee buzzing.


About one second later, I see a huge, blood thirsty killer bee slowly fly into my field of vision. "No problem," I think. As long as it doesn't come too close I should be fine. Right about the time that I thought this, the bee lands right on my [CENSORED]! I emit a short, "EEP!" and run for my life.


The real problem is that I was still [CENSORED] while running for my life, so things got a little messy. I ended up with [CENSORED]-soaked shirt and jeans, but retained my life and suffered no stings.


A day in the life of Lizard Dude. Thank you.



“I’m a stupid fatty and I love to play with my Easy Bake oven!”

Edited by - Lizard Dude on 7/23/2003 5:08:13 PM

Marionut#1

« Reply #46 on: July 23, 2003, 07:39:55 PM »
ROFLMBO

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
*deep breath*
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

It‘s-a me, Marionut#1!
It's-a me, Marionut#1!

Sapphira

  • Inquiring
« Reply #47 on: July 23, 2003, 08:39:08 PM »
ROTFLMBO, too!!!! That's the most hilarious real-life story I've ever heard!!!! XD XD XD

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!  Hoo! That was a good one, LD!! XD

--------------------
Deep inside us all is a little green elf telling us to burn things.
"The surest way to happiness is to lose yourself in a cause greater than yourself."

Lizard Dude

« Reply #48 on: July 23, 2003, 10:07:08 PM »
Dudes, it wasn't funny. I had to wear those clothes the rest of the day.

“I’m a stupid fatty and I love to play with my Easy Bake oven!”

Chupperson Weird

  • Not interested.
« Reply #49 on: July 23, 2003, 10:26:52 PM »
No, it isn't. That's just sad.

Last time I was in a hotel, I had to go get some ice, at about 11:30 PM. My mom was going to be in the bathroom so I would have to wait until she got out and open the door for me. I got the ice, and came back. I knocked on the door. She didn't come to let me in. I knocked some more and called her. No response. After a little while, a short woman in a yellow shirt and messy hair came to the door.

I was two doors down from the right room.

Eccentricity is my goal. "The stupidest thing I’ve ever heard just came out of Lizard Dude’s typing hands."
That was a joke.

Lizard Dude

« Reply #50 on: July 23, 2003, 11:01:41 PM »
It wasn't really sad...more like perilous.
And at least I censored it, if that's what's got you in a bind...

“I’m a stupid fatty and I love to play with my Easy Bake oven!”

King Boo

« Reply #51 on: July 24, 2003, 02:25:49 AM »
This story happened when i was 3.
I was having a really bad day.
We went to McDonalds that afternoon.
I kept getting in trouble all day.
I got a cheeseburger & small chips
& Dad got a Coffee.
When i had finished my burger & started fighting with my bro,cant remember why.
And i accidently knocked a hot,piping cup of coffee onto my Dad.
All you could hear in McDonalds was ADAM!!!!!!!!!!!
Everyone in the place was looking at me.
I cried in the car all the way home.....

All these things happen in the life of The Pink Boo,friend of TMK.
Find your inner monkey.

The Big Boo

« Reply #52 on: July 24, 2003, 03:02:24 PM »
I have another story:

This morning, I had to get up at 7:45 AM to go to an Oral surgeon's office to get two teeth extracted. It isn't funny, but it's a story.

Chupperson Weird

  • Not interested.
« Reply #53 on: July 24, 2003, 08:57:50 PM »
I thought their reaction to your story was sad, LD. I am plagued by those same kind of bees, and have managed not ever to get stung by one. I have gotten stung by a jellyfish on the elbow, though.
(That was another story!)

Eccentricity is my goal. "The stupidest thing I’ve ever heard just came out of Lizard Dude’s typing hands."
That was a joke.

Lizard Dude

« Reply #54 on: July 24, 2003, 09:23:59 PM »
LOL, plagued? Uh, are you allergic or something? Is your house by a beehive? Do you really hate/fear bees? Do they attack your [CENSORED] while you [CENSORED]?

“I’m a stupid fatty and I love to play with my Easy Bake oven!”

Sapphira

  • Inquiring
« Reply #55 on: July 24, 2003, 09:43:29 PM »
Sorry... But you have to admit...it WAS rather amusing hearing and picturing that happening, LD.  I'm sure that was an absolute FREAKY experience... I would have MAJORLY FREAKED OUT. Gah! I HATE bees, too. That reminds of an experience I had at Yosemite when picnicking. Yaaah! >_<

Anyway, goes to show you, don't mess with nature (especially by trying to urinate off a cliff :P). Nature is EVIL and will try to destroy you!!!! Beware!!! Beware!!! @_@

--------------------
Deep inside us all is a little green elf telling us to burn things.
"The surest way to happiness is to lose yourself in a cause greater than yourself."

Markio

  • Normal
« Reply #56 on: July 24, 2003, 11:12:28 PM »
Picturing it happening sounds perverted
"Hello Kitty is cool, but I like Keroppi the best."

Sapphira

  • Inquiring
« Reply #57 on: July 25, 2003, 08:10:07 AM »
D'oh! >_<
I didn't mean it THAT way! Eww!

--------------------
Deep inside us all is a little green elf telling us to burn things.
"The surest way to happiness is to lose yourself in a cause greater than yourself."

Lizard Dude

« Reply #58 on: July 25, 2003, 04:02:37 PM »
Eww? Now you hurt my feelings.



“I’m a stupid fatty and I love to play with my Easy Bake oven!”

Sapphira

  • Inquiring
« Reply #59 on: July 25, 2003, 04:30:09 PM »
Ugh! Is there no way to make everyone happy? >_<
Sorry, LD, but I have an innocent mind (uh, somewhat... :P)

--------------------
Deep inside us all is a little green elf telling us to burn things.
"The surest way to happiness is to lose yourself in a cause greater than yourself."
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