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16
Forum Games / Re: Ask a stupid Qusestion get a stupid answer
« on: August 27, 2007, 01:37:11 PM »
There are many. It's a broad-based question.
What does TMK stand for?
What does TMK stand for?
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17
Forum Games / Re: The Pointless Topic!
« on: August 27, 2007, 12:17:44 PM »
EminemCoolJ/> hay how do u git into the seckret room????????????????????????????????????.
VictoryISMine/> You're in the wrong level, moron.
EminemCoolJ/> lol shut up. thar is a seckret room in this level i have seen a guy do it.
EminemCoolJ/> ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????/
VictoryISMine/> No, that's in the level 'Submarine Extreme'. This is 'Cruise Ship Madness'. You're in the wrong level, buddy.
EminemCoolJ/> oh lol.
VictoryISMine/> You're in the wrong level, moron.
EminemCoolJ/> lol shut up. thar is a seckret room in this level i have seen a guy do it.
EminemCoolJ/> ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????/
VictoryISMine/> No, that's in the level 'Submarine Extreme'. This is 'Cruise Ship Madness'. You're in the wrong level, buddy.
EminemCoolJ/> oh lol.
18
Forum Games / Re: The Pointless Topic!
« on: August 26, 2007, 03:33:50 PM »
l: - 1
...is this the Pointless Topic or the Ridiculous Topic?
...is this the Pointless Topic or the Ridiculous Topic?
19
Forum Games / Re: The Pointless Topic!
« on: August 25, 2007, 06:05:52 PM »
Kids, there's nothing cooler than being hugged by someone you like. But when someone touches you in a place or in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, that's new gewd.
IT'S YOUR BODY. ;D
Blah, blah, blah...prevent forest fires!
...And you can't disagree, because SONIC SEZ.
IT'S YOUR BODY. ;D
Blah, blah, blah...prevent forest fires!
...And you can't disagree, because SONIC SEZ.
20
Forum Games / Re: Ask a stupid Qusestion get a stupid answer
« on: August 24, 2007, 11:40:57 PM »
Indeed!
But what can you do about it?
But what can you do about it?
21
Fan Creations / Re: Laments of a Ninji
« on: August 24, 2007, 11:15:52 PM »
Chapter 4: Ghostly Maiden and Lacking Haven
Bowser sat within the omnipotent setting of his bedroom, embellished morosely with a vaulted ceiling, grinning gargoyles, and gothic, pain-glass windows. The fat, tall bed sitting at the far wall of the chamber was laden with green blankets and purple pillows. It was four-poster, and as such had a fine array of drapery hanging around its perimeter, falling nicely, with an elegant trim, to the bed's skirt, which was lacy, might I add, and threaded with a feathery silk derived from the leaves of only the rarest of Piranha Plants, which could only be found in the deepest delves of the Silver Piranha Plants That Have Leafy Appendages, Which Are Excellent Raw Material For Bed Skirts, Such As, Perhaps, The One On Bowser's Bed? Forest. If you read through the most recent sentece without pause, congratulations!
Any way, Bowser was sitting in his bed, his spiky shell piercing the thin skin of his pillow case, and busily scribbling away at a piece of loose-leaf clipped to a clipboard. His tongue stood erect upon his upper lip, and his eyes were red, dry, and greatly lacking in a cleansing blink.
He was having immense trouble holding his pencil, as was evident from the pile of broken number-two Paper Mates sitting at his bedside. The clipboard wasn't exactly having a picnic either, for its back strained it agony within the Koopa King's iron grip.
The beast would stop writing every now and then to scan what he had so far. Thusly, he had:
"Deer the Werled,
Wile ther haff bin miny okurinces in wich I haf bin beetin, I will now when!"
...Sure, it wasn't the best, but one must keep in mind that the tireless trial and error that the king had gone through was starting to mar his creativity! Each word that was written bore the smudgy scars of having once been erased, re-copied, and then erased again, which are sure signs of frustration. There were bits of led all over his sheets, and Bowser's sausage-like fingers were beginning to blister.
"Hmmmm," he said, reading it over in little more than a mumble. "Ahem...yes...yes..."
Bowser sat up straight and looked around the room with a blank expression, as though preparing himself for something deep and meaningful. He then looked down, closed his eyes, and hummed a long note. In the next second he looked up again, eyes wide and alert, and shook his red mane of hair, clearing his throat and jiggling his elbows, both claws gripping the clipboard.
And he said, in the loudest, most histrionic voice he could muster, "DEAR...the world...While-there-have-been-many...many occurrences...IN WHICH...I...have-been-beaten...I WILL! Oh, I WILL! NOW! WIN!!!"
The door, immediately opposite to the bed, flew open.
"Lord Bowser! What's going on?!"
It was Kamek, the timid Magikoopa, whose trademark glasses were busily scanning Bowser's room. Atop his head he wore a stout, pointy hat, which was wonderfully matched with a sky-blue robe. He plied in his left hand a golden rod, a glistening red orb placed firmly at its tip.
"Nothing's going on, Kamek. What are YOU...going...on..."
"..."
"...about."
Bowser spoke rather defensively, for he was very self-conscious about his skills in speech giving. Never, not once, had he performed as a public speaker, and the letter he was writing, which was addressed, as you know, to the world, was something he had been working on since high school (being a world-leader-in-progress did, after all, require confidence in addressing the public). Once he had even written the entire thing, but, in a surge of panic, crumpled it up and chucked it into a waste basket.
"I thought I heard bad acting," Kamek said. "Are you sure nothing's wrong?"
"Of course I'm sure."
Bowser stood up, the purple pillow sticking to his back.
"Well...if you say so...but on a professional note, Lord Bowser, I've come to warn you that our radars have picked up traces of an intruder."
"An intruder?!"
"Yes...and he's coming in rather quickly..."
"Coming to the castle? Really? Why! Who could this brave fool be?!"
"We're not sure...but we've deduced that it's either a plane or an enormous bird, and it pink. So it's either a giant flamingo or, less likely, a pink...*snicker*...jumbo jet."
"Hmmm.... What sort of stupid bird would dare show his face in my kingdom?! All know of me, am I wrong? The greatest, fiercest, worst being in the land! A beast who holds no meaning of mercy, and who floats like a butterfly, stings like a bee, and-"
"-eats like a pig-"
"-breathes fire like a demon!!! What idiot decides to question my authority?! Kamek!"
"Hm?"
"This amuses me. Let us pull out the welcome wagon! Bwahahaha...hah..."
"Right away, your fatness," Kamek said.
"Fatness? Kamek, that's a little too harsh."
"Horridness?"
"Better."
Bowser stood outside his castle, tapping his heavy foot and watching the gray clouds that covered the horizon.
"Beautiful evening, is it not?" he asked.
"Gorgeous," Kamek replied. "Makes me want to break out my old medieval torturing devices..."
"Hmmm...who let you borrow those again?"
"What?"
"Who let you-?"
"Oh, uhhhh...I think it was Big Boo?"
"Really?"
"Not sure."
"Huh..."
"..."
The night crept on at a chilling, awkward pace. And when it seemed as though entertainment would not rear its amusing head, Bowser spied something looming just beyond the dissipating horizon.
"Aha!" he said in a whisper, as though watching an elusive duck that would fly away at even the lightest provocation. "That must be it!"
As it soared ever closer, lowering in altitude as if to land, the beast of burdens became increasingly excited, even to the point of chewing his own fingernails (or, claws, rather). The flying enigma soon revealed itself to be Peach's jet (a fact they were oblivious to) rolling sluggishly up to Bowser's Castle. Two things were cloying in the air as the plane bounded to a stop; pure thrill for the promise of a scare, and pure thrill for the promise of revenge.
"So, it is a pink airplane," said Kamek. "That's...weird..."
"Hah. Some pansy decided to check out the Bowz! Well, he'll certainly be in for a shock when-"
"Wait a second...is that?...Could it be...?"
Peach daintily left the plane, taking small steps down the staircase that unfolded from the foot of the exit. Her pink dress made the impression of the moon against the night, fire against earth, and flower against leaf, glorifying everything that her fresh ambiance overlapped. She kept a proud sense of dignity bestowed within the contours of her face, and not once allowed even a trifle of incompetence to leak from her stoic exhibition.
"What...what is this?" asked Bowser, dumbstruck.
"...I'm not sure, my lord...some sort of trick?"
Peach marched to Bowser's stand, refusing to open her eyes any further than a sliver so she could see where she went. With gloved hands clenched at her sides, and a glowing coal of valiance burning within her chest, the princess almost gave the brute a stroke when she shocked him by the radiance of a pair of blue, diamond optics. They opened as fast as lightning, as though having waited until the perfect moment, after thinking everything through, to completely visualize the setting of her grand plot.
"...Bowser," she said slowly, doing all she could to make her voice steady (for she had forgotten how colossally tall he truly was).
"Er...what...? What the?! Peach, are you sleepwalking...?"
"No..."
"HeloooOOOoooo!!?! Are you sure?"
"...Er...yes..."
"...Well...in that case.... SWEET!"
Peach jumped, taking a step back.
"FINALLY! My dreams have come true! Peach is giving herself up!"
"Er..."
"BWAHAH! This is better than...better than...well, how would you describe it, Kamek?"
"A blessing disguised as perhaps the queerest anomaly I have ever laid my eyes on..."
"...OKAY! We're gonna go with that...now, come to me Peach! BWAHAH! She must be under a spell, or something..."
Bowser attempted to wrap his claws around the princess's little frame, but was befuddled when he, in the next moment, found himself tripping and subsequently kissing the dirt-covered ground.
"What the crap?"
When he had gripped for her shoulders, the transparency of the princess suddenly became dynamic! Bowser had lost his balance and plummeted through her silky pink dress, making a rather thunderous free-fall to the ground. Immediately, though, he recovered, stumbling upright and fixing Peach with the harshest and most incredulous of stares.
"SHE'S...SOME...KINDA GHOST!" he cried.
Princess Peach smirked, for this was exactly what she wanted to hear.
"AHA!" she cried, pointing a slender finger at the bewildered beast. "That's right, Bowser! No more kidnapping!'
"WHAT?!"
"NO MORE!"
Bowser gaped, Kamek following in suit.
"WHAT IS THIS BLASBERRY?!"
"Fruit, you speak of? HAH! The only fruits you'll be receiving, Bowzy, are the fruits of your dismay! Dismay, I say!"
"Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-but..."
"Who's the damsel in distress now?!"
Bowser tried, in a display of pure, addlepated wonderment, to touch the princess, flailing his arms around and feeling his fear increase at every unsuccessful blow; each time his claw swiped through her blouse, the hairs on the back of his neck stood further and further erect. It simply wasn't working! She was, in fact, ghostly.
Peach yawned, which tantalized Bowser even more.
"I think I'm gonna be going home now...I'll catch you later, Bowser!" She flipped her blonde hair and headed back toward the jumbo jet.
"NOOOO!" cried Bowser.
She wouldn't listen, not even flinch.
He followed her all the way to the stairs, swiping a fury of appendages through the misty maiden, and beginning to whimper like a helpless puppy. There was no more he could do. That is, other than watch, still wide-eyed, as that fat, pink plane flew off into the sky, while feeling his hopes, just like the sun, droop into what seemed to be a never-ending sleep.
When Peach arrived back at the Mushroom Kingdom, she was shocked to see the entire front wall of her castle covered with flyers. Flyers, she noticed, that showed images of an enormous room (depicted at different angles), which was empty save a tall, fat thrown at the far end. At the top of the flyers was a pudgy, baggy-eyed face, practically reeking with anger, that had a quote bubble snaking away from his lips. Within the bubble were the words: "WARIO'S TREASURES FREAKING GONE. WHAT THE CRAP IS THIS?!"
Below the photos and angry cursing, Peach read: "Only moments after the Wario brothers left their home in Diamond City to attend what was little more than a shiskabob party at Peach's Castle, their house was robbed clean, the culprit leaving only a gaudy throne. Police are baffled by the lack of evidence found in this case, as not even a trace of finger prints had been left to lead them in the right direction. One can only speculate the identity of this mysterious puppeteer, who managed to pull off perhaps one of the most infeasible acts of burglary since the Great Star Heist of '96."
Bowser sat within the omnipotent setting of his bedroom, embellished morosely with a vaulted ceiling, grinning gargoyles, and gothic, pain-glass windows. The fat, tall bed sitting at the far wall of the chamber was laden with green blankets and purple pillows. It was four-poster, and as such had a fine array of drapery hanging around its perimeter, falling nicely, with an elegant trim, to the bed's skirt, which was lacy, might I add, and threaded with a feathery silk derived from the leaves of only the rarest of Piranha Plants, which could only be found in the deepest delves of the Silver Piranha Plants That Have Leafy Appendages, Which Are Excellent Raw Material For Bed Skirts, Such As, Perhaps, The One On Bowser's Bed? Forest. If you read through the most recent sentece without pause, congratulations!
Any way, Bowser was sitting in his bed, his spiky shell piercing the thin skin of his pillow case, and busily scribbling away at a piece of loose-leaf clipped to a clipboard. His tongue stood erect upon his upper lip, and his eyes were red, dry, and greatly lacking in a cleansing blink.
He was having immense trouble holding his pencil, as was evident from the pile of broken number-two Paper Mates sitting at his bedside. The clipboard wasn't exactly having a picnic either, for its back strained it agony within the Koopa King's iron grip.
The beast would stop writing every now and then to scan what he had so far. Thusly, he had:
"Deer the Werled,
Wile ther haff bin miny okurinces in wich I haf bin beetin, I will now when!"
...Sure, it wasn't the best, but one must keep in mind that the tireless trial and error that the king had gone through was starting to mar his creativity! Each word that was written bore the smudgy scars of having once been erased, re-copied, and then erased again, which are sure signs of frustration. There were bits of led all over his sheets, and Bowser's sausage-like fingers were beginning to blister.
"Hmmmm," he said, reading it over in little more than a mumble. "Ahem...yes...yes..."
Bowser sat up straight and looked around the room with a blank expression, as though preparing himself for something deep and meaningful. He then looked down, closed his eyes, and hummed a long note. In the next second he looked up again, eyes wide and alert, and shook his red mane of hair, clearing his throat and jiggling his elbows, both claws gripping the clipboard.
And he said, in the loudest, most histrionic voice he could muster, "DEAR...the world...While-there-have-been-many...many occurrences...IN WHICH...I...have-been-beaten...I WILL! Oh, I WILL! NOW! WIN!!!"
The door, immediately opposite to the bed, flew open.
"Lord Bowser! What's going on?!"
It was Kamek, the timid Magikoopa, whose trademark glasses were busily scanning Bowser's room. Atop his head he wore a stout, pointy hat, which was wonderfully matched with a sky-blue robe. He plied in his left hand a golden rod, a glistening red orb placed firmly at its tip.
"Nothing's going on, Kamek. What are YOU...going...on..."
"..."
"...about."
Bowser spoke rather defensively, for he was very self-conscious about his skills in speech giving. Never, not once, had he performed as a public speaker, and the letter he was writing, which was addressed, as you know, to the world, was something he had been working on since high school (being a world-leader-in-progress did, after all, require confidence in addressing the public). Once he had even written the entire thing, but, in a surge of panic, crumpled it up and chucked it into a waste basket.
"I thought I heard bad acting," Kamek said. "Are you sure nothing's wrong?"
"Of course I'm sure."
Bowser stood up, the purple pillow sticking to his back.
"Well...if you say so...but on a professional note, Lord Bowser, I've come to warn you that our radars have picked up traces of an intruder."
"An intruder?!"
"Yes...and he's coming in rather quickly..."
"Coming to the castle? Really? Why! Who could this brave fool be?!"
"We're not sure...but we've deduced that it's either a plane or an enormous bird, and it pink. So it's either a giant flamingo or, less likely, a pink...*snicker*...jumbo jet."
"Hmmm.... What sort of stupid bird would dare show his face in my kingdom?! All know of me, am I wrong? The greatest, fiercest, worst being in the land! A beast who holds no meaning of mercy, and who floats like a butterfly, stings like a bee, and-"
"-eats like a pig-"
"-breathes fire like a demon!!! What idiot decides to question my authority?! Kamek!"
"Hm?"
"This amuses me. Let us pull out the welcome wagon! Bwahahaha...hah..."
"Right away, your fatness," Kamek said.
"Fatness? Kamek, that's a little too harsh."
"Horridness?"
"Better."
Bowser stood outside his castle, tapping his heavy foot and watching the gray clouds that covered the horizon.
"Beautiful evening, is it not?" he asked.
"Gorgeous," Kamek replied. "Makes me want to break out my old medieval torturing devices..."
"Hmmm...who let you borrow those again?"
"What?"
"Who let you-?"
"Oh, uhhhh...I think it was Big Boo?"
"Really?"
"Not sure."
"Huh..."
"..."
The night crept on at a chilling, awkward pace. And when it seemed as though entertainment would not rear its amusing head, Bowser spied something looming just beyond the dissipating horizon.
"Aha!" he said in a whisper, as though watching an elusive duck that would fly away at even the lightest provocation. "That must be it!"
As it soared ever closer, lowering in altitude as if to land, the beast of burdens became increasingly excited, even to the point of chewing his own fingernails (or, claws, rather). The flying enigma soon revealed itself to be Peach's jet (a fact they were oblivious to) rolling sluggishly up to Bowser's Castle. Two things were cloying in the air as the plane bounded to a stop; pure thrill for the promise of a scare, and pure thrill for the promise of revenge.
"So, it is a pink airplane," said Kamek. "That's...weird..."
"Hah. Some pansy decided to check out the Bowz! Well, he'll certainly be in for a shock when-"
"Wait a second...is that?...Could it be...?"
Peach daintily left the plane, taking small steps down the staircase that unfolded from the foot of the exit. Her pink dress made the impression of the moon against the night, fire against earth, and flower against leaf, glorifying everything that her fresh ambiance overlapped. She kept a proud sense of dignity bestowed within the contours of her face, and not once allowed even a trifle of incompetence to leak from her stoic exhibition.
"What...what is this?" asked Bowser, dumbstruck.
"...I'm not sure, my lord...some sort of trick?"
Peach marched to Bowser's stand, refusing to open her eyes any further than a sliver so she could see where she went. With gloved hands clenched at her sides, and a glowing coal of valiance burning within her chest, the princess almost gave the brute a stroke when she shocked him by the radiance of a pair of blue, diamond optics. They opened as fast as lightning, as though having waited until the perfect moment, after thinking everything through, to completely visualize the setting of her grand plot.
"...Bowser," she said slowly, doing all she could to make her voice steady (for she had forgotten how colossally tall he truly was).
"Er...what...? What the?! Peach, are you sleepwalking...?"
"No..."
"HeloooOOOoooo!!?! Are you sure?"
"...Er...yes..."
"...Well...in that case.... SWEET!"
Peach jumped, taking a step back.
"FINALLY! My dreams have come true! Peach is giving herself up!"
"Er..."
"BWAHAH! This is better than...better than...well, how would you describe it, Kamek?"
"A blessing disguised as perhaps the queerest anomaly I have ever laid my eyes on..."
"...OKAY! We're gonna go with that...now, come to me Peach! BWAHAH! She must be under a spell, or something..."
Bowser attempted to wrap his claws around the princess's little frame, but was befuddled when he, in the next moment, found himself tripping and subsequently kissing the dirt-covered ground.
"What the crap?"
When he had gripped for her shoulders, the transparency of the princess suddenly became dynamic! Bowser had lost his balance and plummeted through her silky pink dress, making a rather thunderous free-fall to the ground. Immediately, though, he recovered, stumbling upright and fixing Peach with the harshest and most incredulous of stares.
"SHE'S...SOME...KINDA GHOST!" he cried.
Princess Peach smirked, for this was exactly what she wanted to hear.
"AHA!" she cried, pointing a slender finger at the bewildered beast. "That's right, Bowser! No more kidnapping!'
"WHAT?!"
"NO MORE!"
Bowser gaped, Kamek following in suit.
"WHAT IS THIS BLASBERRY?!"
"Fruit, you speak of? HAH! The only fruits you'll be receiving, Bowzy, are the fruits of your dismay! Dismay, I say!"
"Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-but..."
"Who's the damsel in distress now?!"
Bowser tried, in a display of pure, addlepated wonderment, to touch the princess, flailing his arms around and feeling his fear increase at every unsuccessful blow; each time his claw swiped through her blouse, the hairs on the back of his neck stood further and further erect. It simply wasn't working! She was, in fact, ghostly.
Peach yawned, which tantalized Bowser even more.
"I think I'm gonna be going home now...I'll catch you later, Bowser!" She flipped her blonde hair and headed back toward the jumbo jet.
"NOOOO!" cried Bowser.
She wouldn't listen, not even flinch.
He followed her all the way to the stairs, swiping a fury of appendages through the misty maiden, and beginning to whimper like a helpless puppy. There was no more he could do. That is, other than watch, still wide-eyed, as that fat, pink plane flew off into the sky, while feeling his hopes, just like the sun, droop into what seemed to be a never-ending sleep.
When Peach arrived back at the Mushroom Kingdom, she was shocked to see the entire front wall of her castle covered with flyers. Flyers, she noticed, that showed images of an enormous room (depicted at different angles), which was empty save a tall, fat thrown at the far end. At the top of the flyers was a pudgy, baggy-eyed face, practically reeking with anger, that had a quote bubble snaking away from his lips. Within the bubble were the words: "WARIO'S TREASURES FREAKING GONE. WHAT THE CRAP IS THIS?!"
Below the photos and angry cursing, Peach read: "Only moments after the Wario brothers left their home in Diamond City to attend what was little more than a shiskabob party at Peach's Castle, their house was robbed clean, the culprit leaving only a gaudy throne. Police are baffled by the lack of evidence found in this case, as not even a trace of finger prints had been left to lead them in the right direction. One can only speculate the identity of this mysterious puppeteer, who managed to pull off perhaps one of the most infeasible acts of burglary since the Great Star Heist of '96."
22
Latest News / Re: SSBB: Diddy's Kong Quest
« on: August 24, 2007, 07:45:15 PM »
Monkey noises, chimp noises. They seem interchangeable to me.
Being the anomaly that I am, I loved Donkey Kong 64. Thus, when I read that Diddy will use his peanut gun, something inside of me burst with nostalgia. :)
...And it hurt terribly.
Being the anomaly that I am, I loved Donkey Kong 64. Thus, when I read that Diddy will use his peanut gun, something inside of me burst with nostalgia. :)
...And it hurt terribly.
23
Latest News / Re: SSBB: Petey Piranha Officially Announced
« on: August 24, 2007, 02:01:36 PM »
This is awesome! I don't know why anyone would "fear" the idea of Petey being in the game.
24
Forum Games / Re: Ask a stupid Qusestion get a stupid answer
« on: August 24, 2007, 01:24:06 PM »
SudorG riS si eman sih dna!
But what can I do about it?
But what can I do about it?
26
Fan Creations / Re: Laments of a Ninji
« on: August 23, 2007, 09:04:43 PM »
Well, you know Waluigi. He always has his head in the clouds. And, why, you ask, does he have an Italian accent while Wario does not? Well, you see...I don't know.
But thanks. :)
Chapter 3: Temptation Comes A-Knocking
Needless to say, Peach was thrilled with her new power. It was something that made her feel so utterly different, but in a fantastically free sort of way. No longer being chained to the possibilities of abduction, the likes of which used to hold dominion over her daily affairs, was like being a beautiful bird only recently released from its cage and enjoying life like never before. Singing a new song and using that extra margin of wingspan, Princess Peach was a changed monarch! And by monarch, I mean moth! And by moth, I mean thing with wings! And by thing with wings, I do, in fact, mean bird!
"Toadsworth, come here!" Peach said one morning.
"Hm?" replied the weary mushroom.
He moved a couple of inches toward the beaming maiden, who, with a sly twinkle in her eye, was holding what appeared to be a bag of peanuts.
"Yes, what is it, princess?"
Now, when I said that he moved a couple of inches toward her, you have to keep in mind that Peach and Toadstool were about five hundred “wingspans” apart. Thus, Toadsworth, being the old coot he was, had to squint in order to make out the pink blob standing beside the castle entrance.
"Toadsworth, that's not here. COME HERE!" Peach cried, directing her finger down at her feet.
"Of course I can hear, you silly, silly girl! I'm not some old guy you should feel pity for!...Right...?..."
"Stop your blabbering and get over here!"
"...Er..." Toadsworth was having a horribly difficult time making out the image of Peach. How he rued the audacity he had felt in the morning, when he decided not to wear his spectacles! "That...is...you...? ...Peaches?"
"What are you mumbling?"
"Nothing! Ahem...Kirby?"
"COME HERE!"
In an instant Toadsworth waddled to the feet of Princess Peach, who was standing with her hands on her hips and her left foot a-tapping. And, being the near-sighted thing he is, Toadsworth was able to make out the tall, petite figure of Ms. Toadstool.
"Ah. Right...of course..." he said, more to himself than to Peach. "Now, what is it?"
"I want you to get my private jet ready, please. I'm going to be making...I'm going to be making...well...let's just say there's some long over-due revenge that needs dealing with..."
"...What do you mean?"
"I think you know very well what I mean, Toadsworth..."
"...If you're thinking about that time you...slipped...at the Christmas party...IT WASN'T ME - I SWEAR IT!"
"No, no, not - Wait a second. What did you just say?"
"NOTHING! NOTHING AT ALL! Jeesh, maybe it's you who ought to get the hearing aid, eh Peach?"
He gave a wheezy laugh and scuttled out of the castle, on his way to prepare Peach's private jet. In the meantime, Princess Toadstool would ponder over what had just happened, and, for a moment, feel an inexplicable sense of humiliation while humming the song Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer...
"...had a very shin-EY nose..."
"Like a light bulb."
"What?"
"Now, princess, you still haven't told me where we are going."
Toadsworth had accompanied Peach on her journey through the skies, deciding that it would be best for her to go with a chaperone. However, before taking off, the old fungus hadn't managed to pry even the slightest bit of information concerning their destination from the princess, thus being oblivious as to where they could possibly be going.
He was aware of one thing, however. And that was that it was some place far across the ocean...
"Oh, you know," Peach replied after a long pause. "To that...place..."
"That...place...? Is that your answer? Are you certain? Because that could be any place, princess. You really SUCK at evading unfavorable conversations."
"Yes, yes, I know- thank you, and-"
"GOOD NIGHTSES!!!"
In a flash that could've lasted anywhere between a split second and a dragging hour, the pink, floral chair in front of Peach and Toadsworth spun around, revealing a small, pea-green character of short height and wide grin. A single, long and curling hair sprouted from the middle of his forehead, dangling just above a pair of enormous, magnifying glasses.
Yes, it was, in short, the prince of strange, Fawful.
And, obviously, this wasn't all that happened, because if it were, it would provide for a very awkward story-telling, and an even more awkward reaction to said story. ("And then, the chair in front of us turned around!" -GASP!!!OMGNO!!!- "And guess who was sitting in it!" -OHNOESICANTGUESS!- "...FAWFUL!" -GASP!!!- "...!" -*anticipation*- "...!..." -*waning anticipation- "...that's it, you guys...").
Fawful flung his tiny self at Peach, who, suddenly scared to death, yet not completely without hope, found herself perfectly unharmed. In fact, it would not be considered a dubious speculation to say that Fawful flew directly through the princess, as though she were a ghost, and hit the back of her chair, falling unto what would have been her lap, but which was instead the chair's seat, and then collapsed to the floor. It was from this angle that he not only got an excellent glimpse up Peach's dress, but also a pleasant view of mustard bottles that circled around his cranium.
"Oh my gosh! What the crap just happened?" Peach cried, pinching the hemline of her dress (after which, it should be noted, a muffled voice yelled "I CAN'T BREATHE!").
Toadsworth wasn't available for answer, as he had crawled under his seat.
Fawful, on the other hand, had a mouth for numerous words.
"THE GREAT LOOM OF EVIL! Where fruits of victories dance with my many mustards of DOOM!"
"What is he saying?! Omigosh, do you think it's some kind of secret message that can only be broken with a fancy, schmancy code thing?! ...Do you? ...Toadsworth? ...TOADSWORTH!!!ETQWET#!"
"WHAT?! THIS IS FREAKING THE CRAP OUT OF ME!!!"
In the end, however, a brave Toad stewardess (who preferred to be called 'airplane assistant who is just as good as the people she serves') came and chucked the babbling Fawful out one of the emergency doors. Keep in mind that they were quite a few miles off the ground...and moving...fast...through the clouds.
The last words they heard the little maniac shout were, "THE FURIES OF IHOP WILL CONQUER THE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONS!!!!"
And as it turned out, the sneaky devil that allowed Fawful on the plane was none other than the Toad hiding in Peach's dress, who was apparently feeling sour about being punched in the noggin earlier.
After a long pep talk (which looked strange, as the princess decided it best to speak to the Toad while he was still under her dress), he and Peach made up, ending on a rather pleasant note (as far as pleasant goes when you're speaking to a person who lives in your clothes).
"While, at least we learned one thing from this," Toadsworth said.
"Yeah," replied Peach. "Whether they gaze at your ankles all day or not, some people can prove surprisingly contumacious!"
"What?! ...www.dictionary.com...NO! I was talking about your gift!"
"My gift? What? The puppy's fine! I named him Squishy, and he shall be-"
"NO! Not that gift! I'm talking about the gift from the stars, you moron!"
"What did you just say?"
"Er...gift from the stars, you...boron...?"
"...I majored in chemistry at Mushroom University, you know."
"Er...gift from the stars you...goron...?"
"...I love the Legend of Zelda..."
"...Er...well...actually, all I said was that I tore on a muscle in my back...ooh...yeah...that stings..."
"You need to shut up."
"Yeah, alright..."
After many long hours, Toadsworth noticed the sky turning abnormally dark. Clouds, as misty as fog and equally eerie, began to envelope the plane in icy blankets, creating a caliginous setting within the jet.
"Excuse me, plane attendant who’s no better than the whatever of whichwhat, could I have a blanket please?" asked the old Toad. The stewardess glared at him and shoved a folded blue cloth in his face.
"Thank you."
He wrapped himself up like a tiny cocktail weenie, and, deciding that the frigid ambiance was something he should be concerned about, asked, "Peach...where are we going?!"
Peach didn't reply. She merely watched the gray clouds from her tiny oval window, smiling with a devilish gleam in her eye. Though she was certain that the seven star spirits had given her such a blessing in hopes that she would use it with good-intent, temptation came knocking at her door, and these knocks, she decided, were far too loud to ignore. For who could pass off the chance to emulate one's enemy? Or rather, even better, give him/her a taste of something awful...not necessarily their own medicine, but a deprivation of such. A sudden and unwelcome drought of whatever it was that gave him/her a feeling of power.
"Wait a second..." Toadsworth said. "I know where this is! It's! It's!"
A merry voice ran over the intercom. It said, "Now approaching, Bowser's Castle! :) Now approaching, Bowser's Castle ^_^ ... tee hee!"
"Peach! PEACH - NOOOOOOOO!"
"What's wrong, Toady?" asked Peach, suddenly a little concerned at Toadsworth's random display of panic.
"I'll tell you what's wrong!" said the little Toad hiding inside Peach's dress. "Apparently, Michael Jackson is the pilot!"
"GET DOWN!" cried Peach, socking him in the noggin once more. He retreated back under the frilly hem of her dress wearing a big, googly frown.
"Peach, you can't go walking up all willy nilly to Bowser's keep! He'll! He'll! He'll make you BURN!" said Toadsworth, on a more serious note.
"Oh, really?" Peach asked, a sly grin on her face.
"Yes, really! I'm going to tell the pilot to turn around this very minute, and-"
"HEEEE-HEEEEEEEEE!" came a vibrato, girlish-sounding laugh from the cockpit.
"...Er...rather..."
"That's right Toadsworth, you can't stop the plane! I'm PRINCESS! And as such, I say we go and give our pal Bowser a little howdy doo!"
While Peach sat complacently, a looming fact lurked silently in the back of her mind...
Someone had obviously sent Fawful to kidnap her, for why else would he have snuck onto the plane? The thought of her new power, though, seemed to clog any pondering of caution that might have taken place earlier. But while she seemed safe from harm, what ideas were being formed by the villain using Fawful...? And what dangerous plots might later on plague her...?
Author's Note: Sorry this chapter doesn't really have any substance to it. I just wanted something frivolous and random. I think I reached success.
But thanks. :)
Chapter 3: Temptation Comes A-Knocking
Needless to say, Peach was thrilled with her new power. It was something that made her feel so utterly different, but in a fantastically free sort of way. No longer being chained to the possibilities of abduction, the likes of which used to hold dominion over her daily affairs, was like being a beautiful bird only recently released from its cage and enjoying life like never before. Singing a new song and using that extra margin of wingspan, Princess Peach was a changed monarch! And by monarch, I mean moth! And by moth, I mean thing with wings! And by thing with wings, I do, in fact, mean bird!
"Toadsworth, come here!" Peach said one morning.
"Hm?" replied the weary mushroom.
He moved a couple of inches toward the beaming maiden, who, with a sly twinkle in her eye, was holding what appeared to be a bag of peanuts.
"Yes, what is it, princess?"
Now, when I said that he moved a couple of inches toward her, you have to keep in mind that Peach and Toadstool were about five hundred “wingspans” apart. Thus, Toadsworth, being the old coot he was, had to squint in order to make out the pink blob standing beside the castle entrance.
"Toadsworth, that's not here. COME HERE!" Peach cried, directing her finger down at her feet.
"Of course I can hear, you silly, silly girl! I'm not some old guy you should feel pity for!...Right...?..."
"Stop your blabbering and get over here!"
"...Er..." Toadsworth was having a horribly difficult time making out the image of Peach. How he rued the audacity he had felt in the morning, when he decided not to wear his spectacles! "That...is...you...? ...Peaches?"
"What are you mumbling?"
"Nothing! Ahem...Kirby?"
"COME HERE!"
In an instant Toadsworth waddled to the feet of Princess Peach, who was standing with her hands on her hips and her left foot a-tapping. And, being the near-sighted thing he is, Toadsworth was able to make out the tall, petite figure of Ms. Toadstool.
"Ah. Right...of course..." he said, more to himself than to Peach. "Now, what is it?"
"I want you to get my private jet ready, please. I'm going to be making...I'm going to be making...well...let's just say there's some long over-due revenge that needs dealing with..."
"...What do you mean?"
"I think you know very well what I mean, Toadsworth..."
"...If you're thinking about that time you...slipped...at the Christmas party...IT WASN'T ME - I SWEAR IT!"
"No, no, not - Wait a second. What did you just say?"
"NOTHING! NOTHING AT ALL! Jeesh, maybe it's you who ought to get the hearing aid, eh Peach?"
He gave a wheezy laugh and scuttled out of the castle, on his way to prepare Peach's private jet. In the meantime, Princess Toadstool would ponder over what had just happened, and, for a moment, feel an inexplicable sense of humiliation while humming the song Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer...
"...had a very shin-EY nose..."
"Like a light bulb."
"What?"
"Now, princess, you still haven't told me where we are going."
Toadsworth had accompanied Peach on her journey through the skies, deciding that it would be best for her to go with a chaperone. However, before taking off, the old fungus hadn't managed to pry even the slightest bit of information concerning their destination from the princess, thus being oblivious as to where they could possibly be going.
He was aware of one thing, however. And that was that it was some place far across the ocean...
"Oh, you know," Peach replied after a long pause. "To that...place..."
"That...place...? Is that your answer? Are you certain? Because that could be any place, princess. You really SUCK at evading unfavorable conversations."
"Yes, yes, I know- thank you, and-"
"GOOD NIGHTSES!!!"
In a flash that could've lasted anywhere between a split second and a dragging hour, the pink, floral chair in front of Peach and Toadsworth spun around, revealing a small, pea-green character of short height and wide grin. A single, long and curling hair sprouted from the middle of his forehead, dangling just above a pair of enormous, magnifying glasses.
Yes, it was, in short, the prince of strange, Fawful.
And, obviously, this wasn't all that happened, because if it were, it would provide for a very awkward story-telling, and an even more awkward reaction to said story. ("And then, the chair in front of us turned around!" -GASP!!!OMGNO!!!- "And guess who was sitting in it!" -OHNOESICANTGUESS!- "...FAWFUL!" -GASP!!!- "...!" -*anticipation*- "...!..." -*waning anticipation- "...that's it, you guys...").
Fawful flung his tiny self at Peach, who, suddenly scared to death, yet not completely without hope, found herself perfectly unharmed. In fact, it would not be considered a dubious speculation to say that Fawful flew directly through the princess, as though she were a ghost, and hit the back of her chair, falling unto what would have been her lap, but which was instead the chair's seat, and then collapsed to the floor. It was from this angle that he not only got an excellent glimpse up Peach's dress, but also a pleasant view of mustard bottles that circled around his cranium.
"Oh my gosh! What the crap just happened?" Peach cried, pinching the hemline of her dress (after which, it should be noted, a muffled voice yelled "I CAN'T BREATHE!").
Toadsworth wasn't available for answer, as he had crawled under his seat.
Fawful, on the other hand, had a mouth for numerous words.
"THE GREAT LOOM OF EVIL! Where fruits of victories dance with my many mustards of DOOM!"
"What is he saying?! Omigosh, do you think it's some kind of secret message that can only be broken with a fancy, schmancy code thing?! ...Do you? ...Toadsworth? ...TOADSWORTH!!!ETQWET#!"
"WHAT?! THIS IS FREAKING THE CRAP OUT OF ME!!!"
In the end, however, a brave Toad stewardess (who preferred to be called 'airplane assistant who is just as good as the people she serves') came and chucked the babbling Fawful out one of the emergency doors. Keep in mind that they were quite a few miles off the ground...and moving...fast...through the clouds.
The last words they heard the little maniac shout were, "THE FURIES OF IHOP WILL CONQUER THE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONS!!!!"
And as it turned out, the sneaky devil that allowed Fawful on the plane was none other than the Toad hiding in Peach's dress, who was apparently feeling sour about being punched in the noggin earlier.
After a long pep talk (which looked strange, as the princess decided it best to speak to the Toad while he was still under her dress), he and Peach made up, ending on a rather pleasant note (as far as pleasant goes when you're speaking to a person who lives in your clothes).
"While, at least we learned one thing from this," Toadsworth said.
"Yeah," replied Peach. "Whether they gaze at your ankles all day or not, some people can prove surprisingly contumacious!"
"What?! ...www.dictionary.com...NO! I was talking about your gift!"
"My gift? What? The puppy's fine! I named him Squishy, and he shall be-"
"NO! Not that gift! I'm talking about the gift from the stars, you moron!"
"What did you just say?"
"Er...gift from the stars, you...boron...?"
"...I majored in chemistry at Mushroom University, you know."
"Er...gift from the stars you...goron...?"
"...I love the Legend of Zelda..."
"...Er...well...actually, all I said was that I tore on a muscle in my back...ooh...yeah...that stings..."
"You need to shut up."
"Yeah, alright..."
After many long hours, Toadsworth noticed the sky turning abnormally dark. Clouds, as misty as fog and equally eerie, began to envelope the plane in icy blankets, creating a caliginous setting within the jet.
"Excuse me, plane attendant who’s no better than the whatever of whichwhat, could I have a blanket please?" asked the old Toad. The stewardess glared at him and shoved a folded blue cloth in his face.
"Thank you."
He wrapped himself up like a tiny cocktail weenie, and, deciding that the frigid ambiance was something he should be concerned about, asked, "Peach...where are we going?!"
Peach didn't reply. She merely watched the gray clouds from her tiny oval window, smiling with a devilish gleam in her eye. Though she was certain that the seven star spirits had given her such a blessing in hopes that she would use it with good-intent, temptation came knocking at her door, and these knocks, she decided, were far too loud to ignore. For who could pass off the chance to emulate one's enemy? Or rather, even better, give him/her a taste of something awful...not necessarily their own medicine, but a deprivation of such. A sudden and unwelcome drought of whatever it was that gave him/her a feeling of power.
"Wait a second..." Toadsworth said. "I know where this is! It's! It's!"
A merry voice ran over the intercom. It said, "Now approaching, Bowser's Castle! :) Now approaching, Bowser's Castle ^_^ ... tee hee!"
"Peach! PEACH - NOOOOOOOO!"
"What's wrong, Toady?" asked Peach, suddenly a little concerned at Toadsworth's random display of panic.
"I'll tell you what's wrong!" said the little Toad hiding inside Peach's dress. "Apparently, Michael Jackson is the pilot!"
"GET DOWN!" cried Peach, socking him in the noggin once more. He retreated back under the frilly hem of her dress wearing a big, googly frown.
"Peach, you can't go walking up all willy nilly to Bowser's keep! He'll! He'll! He'll make you BURN!" said Toadsworth, on a more serious note.
"Oh, really?" Peach asked, a sly grin on her face.
"Yes, really! I'm going to tell the pilot to turn around this very minute, and-"
"HEEEE-HEEEEEEEEE!" came a vibrato, girlish-sounding laugh from the cockpit.
"...Er...rather..."
"That's right Toadsworth, you can't stop the plane! I'm PRINCESS! And as such, I say we go and give our pal Bowser a little howdy doo!"
While Peach sat complacently, a looming fact lurked silently in the back of her mind...
Someone had obviously sent Fawful to kidnap her, for why else would he have snuck onto the plane? The thought of her new power, though, seemed to clog any pondering of caution that might have taken place earlier. But while she seemed safe from harm, what ideas were being formed by the villain using Fawful...? And what dangerous plots might later on plague her...?
Author's Note: Sorry this chapter doesn't really have any substance to it. I just wanted something frivolous and random. I think I reached success.
28
Fan Creations / Re: Laments of a Ninji
« on: August 23, 2007, 02:29:18 PM »
Chapter Two: Love Comes in Small Packages
Tiny clumps of food littered the floor, blanketed every now and then by a thin downpour of flour, sugar, or other powdery fare. It seemed as though Wario and Waluigi couldn't get enough of whatever was left over in Peach's kitchen.
Whether scouring through scraps of ham or picking at the ripe pieces of a succulent fruit salad, they made a mess with all that they could touch. Cupboards were opened without care, causing heavy and expensive-looking sacks of flour to dump themselves dry on the countertops, or, in a more fortunate case, land with a lame thump upon the floor. With all this in mind, you can imagine the princess's shock when she came to interrogate the two.
"Alright, listen Warios, I'd like to give you something of a question - AND ANSWER!" Peach ducked just in time to let a fat ham bone soar over her head and through the kitchen door.
Meanwhile, (outside said kitchen door), Toadsworth was walking along, sipping from a mug of coffee complacently. He was then struck in the head by some sort of flying object.
Peach gaped at the condition of her poor, poor kitchen, her eyes becoming bulgy and her brow knitting into an uncomfortable scrunch. As she scanned the countertops and food-laden floor, a single hair, just one, stood up from the whole of her golden locks, and, like the tongue of a chameleon, curled angrily until forming a perfect spiral.
"What...are you two doing?" she asked in little more than a whisper.
But whisper or not, it was the most audible thing in the room (which is to say that it topped Wario's grunts and Waluigi's squeals).
They stopped in mid-swallow and turned around, looking at Peach as children might when addressed by a school principle.
"Er...we were only hungry Peach, and-"
"And-a since you went-a back on your promise, we-a decided to get ourselves some food!"
Waluigi finished for Wario after swallowing an enormous lump of potato salad that had been caught in his throat.
"What are you talking about? I promised nothing to either of you! In fact! I made sure that the Wario brothers did NOT even KNOW about my ceremony!"
"Geez, geez, geeEEeez, Peachy Pee. Quit with all the italics, will ya?"
"Yeah!"
"And how can you go back on your word so quickly, ehhhh?!"
"Yeah!"
Wario leaned ever closer to the princess, making the fact the he had recently eaten several rounds of garlic more than evident to her nostrils.
He was about to jam a finger into her chest, as if to make an emphatic point in their little quarrel, when he realized something that caused his baggy eyes to look down for a moment. This was met by a slap, and, because Peach didn't consider that to be enough, a good thrashing to the head with a rolling pin. Every time he raised a tremulous finger in an effort for reason, she would smack his cranium harder than before.
"Peeeeach! Peach stop!" cried Waluigi. "The doctor's a-not-a gonna be happy!"
Peach finally quelled her violent temper and tossed the rolling pin toward a nearby counter. Unfortunately, instead of landing on the counter as she would have hoped, it bounded backward and struck Wario in the face while he was in the midst of getting up.
"WHAT IS THIS?!" cried Waluigi as his brother plummeted to the floor in anguish.
"Oops..." Peach said, a hint of sincerity in her voice.
"First you-a tack-a some flyer to our door saying we're a-invited to your party, and that there'd-a be lots of food, then you make us look-a-like-a da fools of the kingdom when we burst in on-a some-a kinda shiskabob. And now you-a knock out-a-my brother! Why?!"
"Well, it's simple really, for you see...wait, a flyer? That wasn't me."
"What-a?"
"I haven’t sent out any flyers at all, recently. So, either you got one far...far too late, or someone's trying to pull a lame prank on you guys."
"WHAT-A?!"
"What?" asked Wario, finally coming to.
"Someone-a pulled a prank on us! Told us to come to the castle for a party when there was a-no-a party at all!"
"You mean I wasted a tank of gas driving through the desert for NOTHING?!" cried Wario. He jumped up angrily only to re-collapse when, acting on its own accord, Peach's rolling pin leapt off the floor and smacked him in the forehead.
"Desert, huh? So I guess that would explain the enormous cactus on your back..."
Waluigi suddenly looked shocked.
He gave an unconscious Wario the evil eye (which was, from him, extra evil) while sneering, "I knew I a-had-a something on my back!"
His long, spidery hands made a great display of reaching for the cactus, feeling around curiously, and then recoiling in pain as soon as one of his fingers touched a needle. Recovering from this brief shock, he soon made the same mistake. This turned into what seemed to be a cyclical show of finger-pricking fun.
Finally, though, he started to panic, and, reminding Peach of a flaming Pianta, began flouncing about the kitchen, trying as he could to shake off the great desert plant.
"Well, I'm awfully sorry that you two were tricked but, (thank GOD), that's no excuse to stay in my house and eat my food...SO LEAVE." Peach tried to sound as sweet as possible, though she could currently only reach Tums-level, which wasn't nearly as good as cake-level, and only a couple ranks away from cocoa-bean-level.
She snapped her fingers. A pair of yoshis came trotting into the kitchen.
"Noshi, Koshi, please escort these gentlemen back to their motorcycle, and make it snappy."
Noshi tripped Waluigi so that his petty antics came to a sudden halt. She then hauled him over her back, shoulder at a time, all while making sure the cactus's prickly fingers were far from her own skin. Koshi, however, found it quite difficult to load Wario, and, when he finally did, he felt as though his spine would break at any second, or even cave in under the least most addition in weight. Thus, the Wario brothers took their leave.... Or rather, the poor yoshis who were forced to carry them took their leave.
Within only seconds (as Peach began picking up various scraps that had been thrown from her refrigerator), Toadsworth came into the kitchen while rubbing ointment on his scalp, angrily muttering something about S.F.O.s (stupid...flying...objects...!) He held in his other hand (that is, the hand not holding the curled up tube of ointment) a small, pink package, which was adorned lavishly with a heavy bow.
"Oh princess!" the old Toad said. "Something came in the mail for you!"
As Peach picked up a bowl of what looked like brownie batter she sighed and gazed about the room, deliberately eyeing everything but Toadsworth. This was because of the loud cogs that gnashed wheels of brick-like teeth together inside her frustrated head (which seemed to be producing numerous insults and derogatory statements at the moment). All that occupied her mind at the mention of mail was Mario. And all that occupied her mind at the mention of Mario, currently, was the fact that he had not shown up for the gift-giving ceremony. Thus, the angry clockwork of her brain stirred at a locomotive-like speed, steaming all the while, and she thought up as many hypothetical occurrences and ideal possibilities as she could that would land the hero of the Mushroom Kingdom in a state of shame. Shame for the hope he implanted in Peach, who had longed to see his face in the crowd. And then for tarnishing her spirits when he wouldn't even spare her a hair off his mustache.
"Well...you can tell that macho mushroom man that-" Peach began.
"Oh, no! Princess, it's not him," Toadsworth said. "Haha. I can't believe you thought it would be him...I mean, he didn't even come to your-"
"Yeah, okay, thanks, I KNOW."
"Er...riiight...well...hereyagobye."
Toadsworth handed Peach the package and dashed out the door, his coffee spilling to the floor and the tube of ointment inadvertently slipping from his ointment-slippery grip. Peach eyed the pink gift-wrap with curiosity. Suddenly, a noise from outside told her that Toadsworth had tripped over a large ham bone.
"DANGIT."
Ignoring this, she read the tag that was tethered to the sequence-laden bow.
"To: The Beauty of All the Beautiesfuls... From: Your Secret Admirer...
Her face turned a deep shade of red, and, with anticipation roiling as thick as blood within the tips of her fingers, untied the ribbon and lifted the top. Plying equal the amount of sensation that a pirate receives when he cracks open a treasure chest, the princess gazed inside the blush-colored box, hoping as she might to see her heart's desire!
And what was inside?
Why!
None other than a cute little Nintendog!
"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh <3~!!!!1!" Peach said.
It had eyes as deep and as rich as brownie batter, and gave a cute little 'yip' as soon as it breached fresh air, wagging its tail blissfully all the while.
The chambers in Peach's heart, (which skipped a beat when she read 'Secret Admirer'), were now torpid with warm feelings, like organic balloons distending around a thick pressure. Her pulse heaved rapidly, in and out, sending surging streams of blood through violet veins; they spiraled through a labyrinth as deep and as convoluted as only the most contagious of things. And being magnificent like the tallest mountains, and like the endless sky, pure, the Princess felt as though she had a soft blanket wrapped around her toes, fingers, and tightly so against her nose, through which she could smell the faint scent of rain, cookies, and gentle perfume.
"OH, TOADSWORTH!" she cried.
"Ham bones can go DIE!!!! Yeah?"
"I think I'm in LOVE!!!"
Tiny clumps of food littered the floor, blanketed every now and then by a thin downpour of flour, sugar, or other powdery fare. It seemed as though Wario and Waluigi couldn't get enough of whatever was left over in Peach's kitchen.
Whether scouring through scraps of ham or picking at the ripe pieces of a succulent fruit salad, they made a mess with all that they could touch. Cupboards were opened without care, causing heavy and expensive-looking sacks of flour to dump themselves dry on the countertops, or, in a more fortunate case, land with a lame thump upon the floor. With all this in mind, you can imagine the princess's shock when she came to interrogate the two.
"Alright, listen Warios, I'd like to give you something of a question - AND ANSWER!" Peach ducked just in time to let a fat ham bone soar over her head and through the kitchen door.
Meanwhile, (outside said kitchen door), Toadsworth was walking along, sipping from a mug of coffee complacently. He was then struck in the head by some sort of flying object.
Peach gaped at the condition of her poor, poor kitchen, her eyes becoming bulgy and her brow knitting into an uncomfortable scrunch. As she scanned the countertops and food-laden floor, a single hair, just one, stood up from the whole of her golden locks, and, like the tongue of a chameleon, curled angrily until forming a perfect spiral.
"What...are you two doing?" she asked in little more than a whisper.
But whisper or not, it was the most audible thing in the room (which is to say that it topped Wario's grunts and Waluigi's squeals).
They stopped in mid-swallow and turned around, looking at Peach as children might when addressed by a school principle.
"Er...we were only hungry Peach, and-"
"And-a since you went-a back on your promise, we-a decided to get ourselves some food!"
Waluigi finished for Wario after swallowing an enormous lump of potato salad that had been caught in his throat.
"What are you talking about? I promised nothing to either of you! In fact! I made sure that the Wario brothers did NOT even KNOW about my ceremony!"
"Geez, geez, geeEEeez, Peachy Pee. Quit with all the italics, will ya?"
"Yeah!"
"And how can you go back on your word so quickly, ehhhh?!"
"Yeah!"
Wario leaned ever closer to the princess, making the fact the he had recently eaten several rounds of garlic more than evident to her nostrils.
He was about to jam a finger into her chest, as if to make an emphatic point in their little quarrel, when he realized something that caused his baggy eyes to look down for a moment. This was met by a slap, and, because Peach didn't consider that to be enough, a good thrashing to the head with a rolling pin. Every time he raised a tremulous finger in an effort for reason, she would smack his cranium harder than before.
"Peeeeach! Peach stop!" cried Waluigi. "The doctor's a-not-a gonna be happy!"
Peach finally quelled her violent temper and tossed the rolling pin toward a nearby counter. Unfortunately, instead of landing on the counter as she would have hoped, it bounded backward and struck Wario in the face while he was in the midst of getting up.
"WHAT IS THIS?!" cried Waluigi as his brother plummeted to the floor in anguish.
"Oops..." Peach said, a hint of sincerity in her voice.
"First you-a tack-a some flyer to our door saying we're a-invited to your party, and that there'd-a be lots of food, then you make us look-a-like-a da fools of the kingdom when we burst in on-a some-a kinda shiskabob. And now you-a knock out-a-my brother! Why?!"
"Well, it's simple really, for you see...wait, a flyer? That wasn't me."
"What-a?"
"I haven’t sent out any flyers at all, recently. So, either you got one far...far too late, or someone's trying to pull a lame prank on you guys."
"WHAT-A?!"
"What?" asked Wario, finally coming to.
"Someone-a pulled a prank on us! Told us to come to the castle for a party when there was a-no-a party at all!"
"You mean I wasted a tank of gas driving through the desert for NOTHING?!" cried Wario. He jumped up angrily only to re-collapse when, acting on its own accord, Peach's rolling pin leapt off the floor and smacked him in the forehead.
"Desert, huh? So I guess that would explain the enormous cactus on your back..."
Waluigi suddenly looked shocked.
He gave an unconscious Wario the evil eye (which was, from him, extra evil) while sneering, "I knew I a-had-a something on my back!"
His long, spidery hands made a great display of reaching for the cactus, feeling around curiously, and then recoiling in pain as soon as one of his fingers touched a needle. Recovering from this brief shock, he soon made the same mistake. This turned into what seemed to be a cyclical show of finger-pricking fun.
Finally, though, he started to panic, and, reminding Peach of a flaming Pianta, began flouncing about the kitchen, trying as he could to shake off the great desert plant.
"Well, I'm awfully sorry that you two were tricked but, (thank GOD), that's no excuse to stay in my house and eat my food...SO LEAVE." Peach tried to sound as sweet as possible, though she could currently only reach Tums-level, which wasn't nearly as good as cake-level, and only a couple ranks away from cocoa-bean-level.
She snapped her fingers. A pair of yoshis came trotting into the kitchen.
"Noshi, Koshi, please escort these gentlemen back to their motorcycle, and make it snappy."
Noshi tripped Waluigi so that his petty antics came to a sudden halt. She then hauled him over her back, shoulder at a time, all while making sure the cactus's prickly fingers were far from her own skin. Koshi, however, found it quite difficult to load Wario, and, when he finally did, he felt as though his spine would break at any second, or even cave in under the least most addition in weight. Thus, the Wario brothers took their leave.... Or rather, the poor yoshis who were forced to carry them took their leave.
Within only seconds (as Peach began picking up various scraps that had been thrown from her refrigerator), Toadsworth came into the kitchen while rubbing ointment on his scalp, angrily muttering something about S.F.O.s (stupid...flying...objects...!) He held in his other hand (that is, the hand not holding the curled up tube of ointment) a small, pink package, which was adorned lavishly with a heavy bow.
"Oh princess!" the old Toad said. "Something came in the mail for you!"
As Peach picked up a bowl of what looked like brownie batter she sighed and gazed about the room, deliberately eyeing everything but Toadsworth. This was because of the loud cogs that gnashed wheels of brick-like teeth together inside her frustrated head (which seemed to be producing numerous insults and derogatory statements at the moment). All that occupied her mind at the mention of mail was Mario. And all that occupied her mind at the mention of Mario, currently, was the fact that he had not shown up for the gift-giving ceremony. Thus, the angry clockwork of her brain stirred at a locomotive-like speed, steaming all the while, and she thought up as many hypothetical occurrences and ideal possibilities as she could that would land the hero of the Mushroom Kingdom in a state of shame. Shame for the hope he implanted in Peach, who had longed to see his face in the crowd. And then for tarnishing her spirits when he wouldn't even spare her a hair off his mustache.
"Well...you can tell that macho mushroom man that-" Peach began.
"Oh, no! Princess, it's not him," Toadsworth said. "Haha. I can't believe you thought it would be him...I mean, he didn't even come to your-"
"Yeah, okay, thanks, I KNOW."
"Er...riiight...well...hereyagobye."
Toadsworth handed Peach the package and dashed out the door, his coffee spilling to the floor and the tube of ointment inadvertently slipping from his ointment-slippery grip. Peach eyed the pink gift-wrap with curiosity. Suddenly, a noise from outside told her that Toadsworth had tripped over a large ham bone.
"DANGIT."
Ignoring this, she read the tag that was tethered to the sequence-laden bow.
"To: The Beauty of All the Beautiesfuls... From: Your Secret Admirer...
Her face turned a deep shade of red, and, with anticipation roiling as thick as blood within the tips of her fingers, untied the ribbon and lifted the top. Plying equal the amount of sensation that a pirate receives when he cracks open a treasure chest, the princess gazed inside the blush-colored box, hoping as she might to see her heart's desire!
And what was inside?
Why!
None other than a cute little Nintendog!
"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh <3~!!!!1!" Peach said.
It had eyes as deep and as rich as brownie batter, and gave a cute little 'yip' as soon as it breached fresh air, wagging its tail blissfully all the while.
The chambers in Peach's heart, (which skipped a beat when she read 'Secret Admirer'), were now torpid with warm feelings, like organic balloons distending around a thick pressure. Her pulse heaved rapidly, in and out, sending surging streams of blood through violet veins; they spiraled through a labyrinth as deep and as convoluted as only the most contagious of things. And being magnificent like the tallest mountains, and like the endless sky, pure, the Princess felt as though she had a soft blanket wrapped around her toes, fingers, and tightly so against her nose, through which she could smell the faint scent of rain, cookies, and gentle perfume.
"OH, TOADSWORTH!" she cried.
"Ham bones can go DIE!!!! Yeah?"
"I think I'm in LOVE!!!"
29
Forum Games / Re: The Pointless Topic!
« on: August 23, 2007, 12:35:47 AM »OH, WHAT HAVE I DONE?!?
*horribly awkward silence*
O_O ...
>_> ...
<_< ...
...
When I was younger, so much younger than todaaaay- ayay...!
30
Mario Chat / Re: If there was 8, who would be the 8th star child? (Small YIDS spoilers)
« on: August 23, 2007, 12:29:11 AM »
Daisy.
"Gaa-gaa, I'm Baby Daisy!!!!"
...But how would you make her voice any higher pitched?
"Gaa-gaa, I'm Baby Daisy!!!!"
...But how would you make her voice any higher pitched?
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