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Fan Creations / Laments of a Ninji
« on: August 23, 2007, 12:12:54 AM »
Chapter One: The Gift That Keeps on Giving
Trumpeters proudly blasted audacious notes that echoed throughout the halls of Peach's Castle, giving off a glorious sound that meshed with the thunderous applause of an adoring crowd. Heads, variegating from round, spotted mushroom tops to furry, raccoon-masked faces, looked on toward a beautiful maiden as she knelt, with deep reverence, before seven glimmering stars.
The stars were animated by jovial visages as they hovered happily above her bowed head, and the anticipation of something miraculous seemed to come cloying through the air. Finally, as the eldest of these celestial spirits looked upon the maiden's wavy locks of gold, (growing profusely beneath a small crown), a single tear shed from the right of his beady black eyes, and the crowd, roaring with approval around the perimeter of the castle's grand foyer, became even louder than before. The silver tear, you see, had lifted, no lighter than a feather, from the elder star's cheek, and, in a fantastic moment of magic, sunk into the depths of the maiden's scalp, weighing down her feathery hair only for a second.
The further it sunk, the more she could feel her cheeks glowing and hear the words that pumping tremors in her heart were forming. It said, as clearly as day,
"This...is...pretty...dang...awesome...thump-thump...."
She lifted her transcendent blue eyes from the red carpet, and, in a voice as mellifluous as the wind and as kind as the sun (when it wasn't giving you melanoma) said, "Oh, bless you Eldstar, for giving me such a gift.... How may I ever repay you?"
The old star would have scratched his chin had he had hands, and said, "You have already given me, among everyone in your kingdom," at this there was a crescendo in the applause, "all that you have to offer. A glorious place to live, fair rules to live by, and, most importantly, freedom."
The blonde beauty blushed.
"Awwww...Shucks!"
"Hohohoho! Seriously, dear Princess Peach...you have our blessings." He indicated the six stars floating behind him. They smiled, waved the tips of their stubby arms, and winked graciously at Peach, who could only bow with solemn humility.
"Well, all the same...I wish to give you my absolute greatest-"
And then, in an occurence that no one seemed to be prepared for, the front doors of the castle, in front of which Peach had her back turned, opened in a loud and unruly manner. Turning around quickly, the Princess, and those who were standing near the door with their eyes on the stars, caught an unsightly glimpse of trouble.
Wario, accompanied by his long, sickly brother Waluigi, had barged into the grand foyer with little warning and were now trotting toward Peach while showing not even a hint of deference. In fact, Wario was picking his nose and wearing a muddy denim vest and Waluigi had (to everyone's astonishment) an enormous cactus sticking to his back.
"PEACH-EYYYY!" cried Wario as he stopped within breathing distance of her, completely ignoring the shimmering stars, (which were all looking rather shocked, by the way).
Peach, with her hands on her hips and her cherry lips puckered into a scolding, sour expression, glared at the pointy-eared brothers, hoping, by some change in luck, that they would make like the wind and GET OUT.
"What do you want?! Can't you see that you've interrupted an entire ceremony?!" she asked angrily.
"What? Ceremony?" Wario scratched his head. "You mean like some kind of Kabobination?"
"NO NOT LIKE SOME KIND OF SHISKABOB."
The crowd, which once roared with felicity, was now silent, turning anxious eyes toward its neighbors and whispering fervently.
"Er...riiight, Peachy. Then what's going on here?"
The princess paused to smooth down her frizzling hair, her hands quivering. She closed her eyes and elegantly pointed her nose to the ceiling, as though trying her hardest to readjust her lady-like personality.
She replied, "I'm being blessed by these great beings you see behind me. You see, what they've done is-"
"HEY!" cried Waluigi loudly, his eyes bursting into spheres of interest as soon as he noticed the seven star spirits.
"What?" Peach asked, her face going pale as she watched Waluigi stammer about in awe.
"Those-a guys are-a from-a the cereal box! Oh-a my gosh-a!" Waluigi jumped up and down, the prickly anomaly on his back shifting about uncomfortably.
"Um...cereal? Cereal box?" repeated the bewildered princess.
"YEAH! YEAH! You know! Horse, ships, and race shoes, clovers and some dunes! Rocks and falling rabbits, and-a me red baboons!"
No one seemed to be on the same page as Waluigi, so they let the sad purple social hazard skip about in confusion for a while before even acknowledging him as a person again. This was, of course, including Wario.
"Ahem," said Eldstar.
Peach suddenly went red, and, like a dog cowering away from its owner, removed herself from his view.
The mustachioed ball of gaseous, plasmatic matter shot the elfish brothers with an angry stare and said, in the scariest voice he could conjure, "HOW DARE YOU INTERRUPT MY GIFT-GIVING CEREMONY! For your information, I have just granted Princess Peach Toadstool with perhaps one of the most sought-after powers in the galaxy! Do you not feel ashamed of yourselves for creating such a loud imposition during this rare display of integrity and honor?!"
"No, not really. Peach, do you have any food? I heard there'd be food at your party...but...well, I guess it's not so much a party any more as it is a...what was it you said?"
"ONLY THE BIGGEST, MOST IMPORTANTEST GIFT-GIVING THINGIES EVA!"
"One a those. Yeah."
Peach sighed as she brought a reassuring hand to her forehead, caressing her aching temples with her thumb and forefinger. The many guests were slowly inching back outside, leaving the castle as unobtrusively as possible as not to hurt Peach's feelings (which would be ironic at such a time, and you'll soon find out why). It seemed as though nothing more could possibly go wrong after such a tragedy as this, for surely any more bad luck would pale in comparison.
Once the castle was completely empty (that is, except for Wario and Waluigi, who were feasting on whatever residuals they could find in the kitchen, and the seven star spirits, who thought they ought to say a proper goodbye to the Princess) Peach brewed a hot cup of coffee and inhaled a couple of Tylenol.
"Dear princess, I am so sorry that there had to be such an intrusion on this most sanctimonious of sancti...mones."
"Oh, please...don't apologize. I suppose it was my fault for not asking the guards to be extra vigilant during the ceremony."
Suddenly, without explanation, a Toad popped out from beneath the hem of Peach's pink dress and said, "That would've been about as helpful as telling Ray Charles to look out for anything!"
"Get DOWN!" Peach cried, socking the little servant in the noggin. He whimpered and retreated back inside.
"Er..."
Since Peach gave him a look that said ‘nothing weird just happened’, Eldstar, after giving a concerned glance over his shoulder to the six other star spirits, continued solemnly.
"Er...all the same, Peach. I hope that gift comes in handy."
"And I'm sure it will!" she replied earnestly. "For who can stand up to such a power? I mean...being granted with a protective curse that renders you completely invulnerable to any attempt at kidnapping? WHY DIDN'T I GET THIS EARLIER?!" Her fists were clenched and she glared at a random wall as though having been ranting to herself.
"Er...(yes, I say 'Er' again)," said Eldstar. Peach suddenly realized her faux pas.
"Oh, don't take it like that, Wondrous Eldstar. I only meant that it would've been useful."
Peach understood completely the fact that it had taken quite a bit of time for the Star Spirits to grant her such a wish. She could still remember when she first made it, back when her hair was brown and her eyes were little more than specks. Those specks had lifted to the sky, and, in a mystical instance of pure hope, she wished to stars that she would never be a damsel in distress again. Of course, this didn't come true right away, but it was something that had certainly taken up a great deal of the Star Spirits' time.
During one of their many counsels, in fact, Peach and this magnificently vague wish of hers' took up the entire allotment. Arguments were tossed about, theories born and tarnished as fast as chicken eggs, and it seemed as though nobody would compromise. But it was finally decided that, no matter how long it took, the stars would eventually grant this sacred wish, for, while she wasn't perfect, Peach had the heart and soul of an angel, and deserved only the best.
But, ironically, the seven stars soon found that this had been little more than wishful thinking, for no such power, that they could garner, had the ability to control a person's volition. The nearest they could come to it was an enchantment that would protect Peach from kidnapping purely by barrier (that is to say, she could be troubled all her life by threats and violent attempts, but she could never be physically touched by anyone who wished to abduct her).
While this seemed close enough, it came with a rather gaping loophole, for you see, while the enchantment would protect her when hope was all that the poor princess could count on, its magic would be abrogated as soon as her mood became inexhaustibly sour, or when she couldn't pull even a thread of a prospect from her soul. If the princess couldn't, in short, feel hope, then she would be rendered vulnerable to any attempt at a kidnapping.
Since there was little more that they could do, the Star Spirits relied on this emotion-tethered curse to suffice, and, praying that Peach would be forever merry, they granted Peach's wish after her many, many long years of waiting.
So, in conclusion, HOT DAWG! THAT'S JUST DANDY!
But there was something else that Peach very well knew remained unturned...
...
...What the crap was Waluigi doing with a cactus on his back?
Trumpeters proudly blasted audacious notes that echoed throughout the halls of Peach's Castle, giving off a glorious sound that meshed with the thunderous applause of an adoring crowd. Heads, variegating from round, spotted mushroom tops to furry, raccoon-masked faces, looked on toward a beautiful maiden as she knelt, with deep reverence, before seven glimmering stars.
The stars were animated by jovial visages as they hovered happily above her bowed head, and the anticipation of something miraculous seemed to come cloying through the air. Finally, as the eldest of these celestial spirits looked upon the maiden's wavy locks of gold, (growing profusely beneath a small crown), a single tear shed from the right of his beady black eyes, and the crowd, roaring with approval around the perimeter of the castle's grand foyer, became even louder than before. The silver tear, you see, had lifted, no lighter than a feather, from the elder star's cheek, and, in a fantastic moment of magic, sunk into the depths of the maiden's scalp, weighing down her feathery hair only for a second.
The further it sunk, the more she could feel her cheeks glowing and hear the words that pumping tremors in her heart were forming. It said, as clearly as day,
"This...is...pretty...dang...awesome...thump-thump...."
She lifted her transcendent blue eyes from the red carpet, and, in a voice as mellifluous as the wind and as kind as the sun (when it wasn't giving you melanoma) said, "Oh, bless you Eldstar, for giving me such a gift.... How may I ever repay you?"
The old star would have scratched his chin had he had hands, and said, "You have already given me, among everyone in your kingdom," at this there was a crescendo in the applause, "all that you have to offer. A glorious place to live, fair rules to live by, and, most importantly, freedom."
The blonde beauty blushed.
"Awwww...Shucks!"
"Hohohoho! Seriously, dear Princess Peach...you have our blessings." He indicated the six stars floating behind him. They smiled, waved the tips of their stubby arms, and winked graciously at Peach, who could only bow with solemn humility.
"Well, all the same...I wish to give you my absolute greatest-"
And then, in an occurence that no one seemed to be prepared for, the front doors of the castle, in front of which Peach had her back turned, opened in a loud and unruly manner. Turning around quickly, the Princess, and those who were standing near the door with their eyes on the stars, caught an unsightly glimpse of trouble.
Wario, accompanied by his long, sickly brother Waluigi, had barged into the grand foyer with little warning and were now trotting toward Peach while showing not even a hint of deference. In fact, Wario was picking his nose and wearing a muddy denim vest and Waluigi had (to everyone's astonishment) an enormous cactus sticking to his back.
"PEACH-EYYYY!" cried Wario as he stopped within breathing distance of her, completely ignoring the shimmering stars, (which were all looking rather shocked, by the way).
Peach, with her hands on her hips and her cherry lips puckered into a scolding, sour expression, glared at the pointy-eared brothers, hoping, by some change in luck, that they would make like the wind and GET OUT.
"What do you want?! Can't you see that you've interrupted an entire ceremony?!" she asked angrily.
"What? Ceremony?" Wario scratched his head. "You mean like some kind of Kabobination?"
"NO NOT LIKE SOME KIND OF SHISKABOB."
The crowd, which once roared with felicity, was now silent, turning anxious eyes toward its neighbors and whispering fervently.
"Er...riiight, Peachy. Then what's going on here?"
The princess paused to smooth down her frizzling hair, her hands quivering. She closed her eyes and elegantly pointed her nose to the ceiling, as though trying her hardest to readjust her lady-like personality.
She replied, "I'm being blessed by these great beings you see behind me. You see, what they've done is-"
"HEY!" cried Waluigi loudly, his eyes bursting into spheres of interest as soon as he noticed the seven star spirits.
"What?" Peach asked, her face going pale as she watched Waluigi stammer about in awe.
"Those-a guys are-a from-a the cereal box! Oh-a my gosh-a!" Waluigi jumped up and down, the prickly anomaly on his back shifting about uncomfortably.
"Um...cereal? Cereal box?" repeated the bewildered princess.
"YEAH! YEAH! You know! Horse, ships, and race shoes, clovers and some dunes! Rocks and falling rabbits, and-a me red baboons!"
No one seemed to be on the same page as Waluigi, so they let the sad purple social hazard skip about in confusion for a while before even acknowledging him as a person again. This was, of course, including Wario.
"Ahem," said Eldstar.
Peach suddenly went red, and, like a dog cowering away from its owner, removed herself from his view.
The mustachioed ball of gaseous, plasmatic matter shot the elfish brothers with an angry stare and said, in the scariest voice he could conjure, "HOW DARE YOU INTERRUPT MY GIFT-GIVING CEREMONY! For your information, I have just granted Princess Peach Toadstool with perhaps one of the most sought-after powers in the galaxy! Do you not feel ashamed of yourselves for creating such a loud imposition during this rare display of integrity and honor?!"
"No, not really. Peach, do you have any food? I heard there'd be food at your party...but...well, I guess it's not so much a party any more as it is a...what was it you said?"
"ONLY THE BIGGEST, MOST IMPORTANTEST GIFT-GIVING THINGIES EVA!"
"One a those. Yeah."
Peach sighed as she brought a reassuring hand to her forehead, caressing her aching temples with her thumb and forefinger. The many guests were slowly inching back outside, leaving the castle as unobtrusively as possible as not to hurt Peach's feelings (which would be ironic at such a time, and you'll soon find out why). It seemed as though nothing more could possibly go wrong after such a tragedy as this, for surely any more bad luck would pale in comparison.
Once the castle was completely empty (that is, except for Wario and Waluigi, who were feasting on whatever residuals they could find in the kitchen, and the seven star spirits, who thought they ought to say a proper goodbye to the Princess) Peach brewed a hot cup of coffee and inhaled a couple of Tylenol.
"Dear princess, I am so sorry that there had to be such an intrusion on this most sanctimonious of sancti...mones."
"Oh, please...don't apologize. I suppose it was my fault for not asking the guards to be extra vigilant during the ceremony."
Suddenly, without explanation, a Toad popped out from beneath the hem of Peach's pink dress and said, "That would've been about as helpful as telling Ray Charles to look out for anything!"
"Get DOWN!" Peach cried, socking the little servant in the noggin. He whimpered and retreated back inside.
"Er..."
Since Peach gave him a look that said ‘nothing weird just happened’, Eldstar, after giving a concerned glance over his shoulder to the six other star spirits, continued solemnly.
"Er...all the same, Peach. I hope that gift comes in handy."
"And I'm sure it will!" she replied earnestly. "For who can stand up to such a power? I mean...being granted with a protective curse that renders you completely invulnerable to any attempt at kidnapping? WHY DIDN'T I GET THIS EARLIER?!" Her fists were clenched and she glared at a random wall as though having been ranting to herself.
"Er...(yes, I say 'Er' again)," said Eldstar. Peach suddenly realized her faux pas.
"Oh, don't take it like that, Wondrous Eldstar. I only meant that it would've been useful."
Peach understood completely the fact that it had taken quite a bit of time for the Star Spirits to grant her such a wish. She could still remember when she first made it, back when her hair was brown and her eyes were little more than specks. Those specks had lifted to the sky, and, in a mystical instance of pure hope, she wished to stars that she would never be a damsel in distress again. Of course, this didn't come true right away, but it was something that had certainly taken up a great deal of the Star Spirits' time.
During one of their many counsels, in fact, Peach and this magnificently vague wish of hers' took up the entire allotment. Arguments were tossed about, theories born and tarnished as fast as chicken eggs, and it seemed as though nobody would compromise. But it was finally decided that, no matter how long it took, the stars would eventually grant this sacred wish, for, while she wasn't perfect, Peach had the heart and soul of an angel, and deserved only the best.
But, ironically, the seven stars soon found that this had been little more than wishful thinking, for no such power, that they could garner, had the ability to control a person's volition. The nearest they could come to it was an enchantment that would protect Peach from kidnapping purely by barrier (that is to say, she could be troubled all her life by threats and violent attempts, but she could never be physically touched by anyone who wished to abduct her).
While this seemed close enough, it came with a rather gaping loophole, for you see, while the enchantment would protect her when hope was all that the poor princess could count on, its magic would be abrogated as soon as her mood became inexhaustibly sour, or when she couldn't pull even a thread of a prospect from her soul. If the princess couldn't, in short, feel hope, then she would be rendered vulnerable to any attempt at a kidnapping.
Since there was little more that they could do, the Star Spirits relied on this emotion-tethered curse to suffice, and, praying that Peach would be forever merry, they granted Peach's wish after her many, many long years of waiting.
So, in conclusion, HOT DAWG! THAT'S JUST DANDY!
But there was something else that Peach very well knew remained unturned...
...
...What the crap was Waluigi doing with a cactus on his back?
