Fungi Forums
Miscellaneous => Forum Games => Topic started by: TEM on April 20, 2009, 09:03:10 PM
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This is DANGER DUNGEON. A role-playing game. Pretend you are in a world with knights, ghosts and Muslims where anything is possible.
The beginning is that there is a dragon, but he has a wizard hat on so he might be able to talk. Go from there.
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While standing a sufficient distance away, I ask the dragon if he would mind if I poked him with a ten-foot-pole.
(Also, I'm carrying a ten-foot-pole, though in a non-threatening way.)
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The dragon says "yes i would mind" and he looks indignant. He attacks you, but with grace.
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I vault over him with the pole before he can hurt me.
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I come out of nowhere and take a swing at the dragon with my sword.
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Rao is eaten by the dragon, allowing CrossedEyed7 to escape. CrossEyed7 gets a +3 on this pole.
You are now outside of the cave. There are sharp mountains and mice everywhere; they are field mice and they have a auspicious look. You can go in any direction, but watch out for the mountains they are trolls.
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I kill and roast the field mice for food.
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Meanwhile, I cut my way out of the dragon's stomach and heal the wound I just made with white magic. He becomes my ally.
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I refuse to feed the mountains.
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Rao and his dragon are eaten by a larger dragon and digested. CrossEyed7 and Turtlekid1 are in the party together I assume?
The field mice tell the sharp mountains about the two travelers blasphemous actions. The mountains roll ten deep and surround CrossEyed7 and Turtlekid1. The mountains/trolls roll a 7 and a 15.
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Luckily, I cast an indigestible charm on my dragon and me before we were eaten by the bigger dragon! I cut my way out of this dragon's stomach, slaying him. My dragon and I proceed to the mountains.
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I roll... uh... 30...
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Someone else take a turn being DANGER MASTER, I'm taking a break.
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Yo.
CrossEyed7 grabbed the wrong die (we're talking d20s here), so he needs to reroll pronto or I'm counting it as a fumble.
The mountain and trolls stand around, waiting for this bumbling fool of a player character to redo his customary die roll before they attempt to slaughter him.
Rao and his dragon fly through a cloud, freeze, are struck by lightning as they fall, and land in an active volcano.
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It's a lucky die. The edges are worn down.
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The mountain chews up and eats CrossEyed7's lucky die, offering one of its numerous polyhedrals as a substitute. The trolls get sick of waiting and merge back into their mountain shape.
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Idea +1!
I take a crystaline polyhedron from the mountain's stash and use it to focus a laser which destroys the mountain-trolls.
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Dragons have extremely tough skin, and can survive insanely low and high temperatures. Luckily, before my dragon and I entered the cloud, I donned the slain dragon's pelt, protecting me from the harsh elements. We (my dragon and I) simply fly out of the volcano mere seconds before it erupts and arrive in the mountains where the mountain-trolls are being destroyed.
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I pull out my DS and play FFIV.
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Rao, I use my executive authority as temporary DM to kick you out of the game for trying to undermine the DM's authority on several occasions.
Unfortunately for Turtlekid, mountains/trolls, as with most other creatures, are immune to all player attacks made without a roll of a die - even if the die itself is part of the attack - and are immune to lasers anyway.
CrossEyed7's actions fascinate the living stones. They watch him play FFIV and ask if he has any other games.
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Pretend you are in a world with knights, ghosts and Muslims where anything is possible.
._.
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Rao dies of a severe case of draconian flu. His dragon mourns the death and beats itself up for a while because of it being to blame, but moves on with its life, becoming very successful as a daytime talk show host.
Turtlekid's body is now inhabited by the restless spirit of Rao. Turtlekid and Rao must now agree on actions the former wishes to take until Rao possesses someone else.
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I tell them I also have TWEWY, My Japanese Coach, and Jam Sessions with me.
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Captain Jim appears, wielding an Orb of Periwinkle, granting him +5 color resistance.
(https://themushroomkingdom.net/board/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi274.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fjj266%2FCaptain__Jim%2Forbofperiwinkle-1.jpg&hash=3b1d84d05ad82b717c043a24e8fb4ec5)
This is a rather useless resistance, however.
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The stones watch CrossEyed7 play TWEWY for a while and then turn into stationery. CrossEyed7 gets a point in gaming diplomacy and a stack of +2 office supplies.
Captain Jim's Orb of Periwinkle turns out to be an egg. It hatches to reveal a baby Sauron (good form), which appears to come with its own carrying harness. Sadly, as I am not TEM, I will not be drawing this.
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I roll a 12 and find a philosopher's stone to bring Rao's original body back to life.
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I attempt to convince the Rao part of Turtlekid to disagree with that action, just to screw with them. I roll a 14.7 for Persuasion.
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I am not convinced.
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I hide my disappointment with myself by saying "Hey, gang! Let's split up!"
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Turtlekid did not find a philosopher's stone. Rao still possesses him - doubly hard, since that counted as attempting and failing an exorcism - and learns Haunt.
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I JOYN THE GAEM
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I decide to quest for a supermarket, to buy food for my baby Sauron (http://www.jedielfqueen.com/lotr/costumes/sauron/silver3.jpg). I equip the Harness of +7 Baby Carrying, and equip Baby Sauron to the harness. I want to take the bus. Do I have to roll?
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I get lonely.
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Captain Jim wants it, so his roll to ride the magic bus succeeds. CrossEyed7's arm is grabbed by the surprisingly-strong baby, and he is dragged along. Glorb is already at the supermarket. Turtlekid is wandering around in a cave.
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Suddenly a robot!
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I use the "Family Man" skill to show off my baby in an attempt to win sympathy from the robot.
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Robots aren't normally sympathetic, but this one is. He decides to spare Jim's life. TurtleRao (who magically appeared), CrossEyed7, and Glorb aren't so lucky, and he gets the jump on them, knocking Turtlekid unconscious (giving Rao full control of the body until its owner wakes up [which won't be until after the battle]) with his first ab-fueled hit.
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While unconscious and trapped within the depths of my own mind, I discover two things: I have PSI abilities, and I actually do like spinach.
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I quest eastward, towards the baby food aisle. I roll the dice to see what I should buy. Odd for mashed carrots, even for mashed peas.
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What Turtlekid thinks is PSI abilities is actually just gas. d2 comes up even.
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I find a big stick and bust the robot across the head with it. He gets angry, and I take this opportunity to posses his robotic body.
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Rao rolls a critical on his Posses skill, and his assorted gangs attack the robot with reckless abandon. One of them inadvertently punches the robot in the amp-mouth's switch, shutting it down.
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Alternate Game Kit Box Art.
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After the gas dies down, I regain consciousness and reactivate the robot, allowing Rao to possess it.
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Unfortunately, Turtlekid's uninformed action causes the robot to attack again, knocking him unconscious and giving Rao control again.
Glorb stumbles upon Box Art Skull while in the produce aisle and takes it and the money gem in its eye socket.
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I punch the robot in the amp-mouth switch again, shutting it down (it isn't going to be that easy, is it?). I inhabit the robotic body.
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I buy the mashed peas, and adventure to the checkout. I roll to use a coupon.
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The shock of having Rao's spirit leave my body awakens me again. I attempt and successfully manage to cast an anti-possession spell to prevent any more story-loops.
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The last post has been stricken from the record. Rao inhabits the robot body, which flips on automatically so he can begin to use it. Jim's coupon roll fails. That will be $4.79.
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I grumble and place the $4.79 on the checkout. I roll for paper or plastic.
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I become stuck in a paradox due to my last post being "stricken."
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Jim, your environmentally-friendly die comes up paper. You leave the store and receive 1000 DANGER EXPERIENCE for completing your quest. You and Baby Sauron each gain a level! You may put one point into the skill of your choice. He gets a level of Charm, which gives him +3 to his already considerably high chick magnet stat.
Turtlekid, you have the option of going on a quest to slay your grandfather in an attempt to cancel out the paradox with another one. Do you accept?
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I accept the quest.
(What happened to Glorb?)
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Glorb is wandering around in dairy.
A portal opens. You have no idea where or when it will take you.
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Entering the portal, I roll for the near past or the distant past.
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I put one point into my intelligence.
Goodness knows that I need all the help I can get being a father.
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You roll, even though it doesn't matter because that's totally a DM decision. It comes up near past. Feeling lucky, punk?
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I decide to use my four-leaf clover before entering the portal.
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I equip the Bib of +4 Mess Defense to Baby Sauron. I open the peas. I equip the Sauron Spoon. Do I tell him it's a train or an airplane?
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I'll roll for it.
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>use four-leaf clover
I don't understand that.
Turtlekid enters the portal to find himself looking at a dragon wearing a wizard hat. A man holding a ten-foot pole is talking to the dragon. The distinct sound of footsteps and a sword's tip being dragged along the ground - perhaps by someone struggling to carry the heavy weapon, such as a young boy - can be heard.
Jim's die rolls under the fridge. I'd say go with the firetruck rushing to rescue people from a burning building.
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I make siren noises as I move the spoon towards the mouth of Baby Sauron. He giggles with joy as he eats the peas. I make a memo to fish my die out from under the fridge later.
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I cast an animation spell on some nearby mountains, turning them into trolls.
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The spell appears to fail. The dragon gracefully attacks the man with a pole, who vaults over. A swordmaiden charges blade-first at the dragon. The dragon is slain. The man and the maiden converse for a long while before engaging in a loving kiss.
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I inspect the dragon's corpse to see if it kept anything I can use in my quest.
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I journey East, to the great desert, to train, and get used to my new body, and maybe find some new allies.
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Glorb is wandering around in seafood now. He sure has been in that supermarket a while.
Nothing is on the dragon's corpse (the hat having already been taken). The two adventurers see you and confront you, though. "What are you doing here? Why are you trying to loot our kills?!"
In the Western Desert of the East, Rao encounters some scorpions. They begin to play music. The lyrics seem to be about tropical storms. Fight, diplomacitize, leave?
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Diplomacitize. I propose to the scorpions that they can join me on my quests and be my orchestra/posse.
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The scorpions ask what their pay will be.
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I am still playing FFIV. I am not sure where I am anymore, but I think I am hungry. Also, my trousers are missing.
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I lie and say I was a victim of the dragon in the past and he took all my money and items; I was just trying to get my property back.
I roll the persuasion and sympathy dice.
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I tell the scorpions their pay will be 16 gald a month.
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Cecil and Kain level up.
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Turtlekid's persuasion roll works but not the sympathy roll. However, they do ask if he wishes to join their adventuring party. His diplomacitizing skill goes up a point.
The scorpions accept. Rao's diplomacitizing skills also go up a point and he is now accompanied by three scorpions.
CrossEyed7 finds his pants and continues playing FFIV. His DS soon runs out of power; however, thanks to his Nick of Time feat, it happens just after a save.
Glorb is in the parking lot.
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I accept their offer, but under a pseudonym so as not to reveal myself until the right moment.
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Your pseudonym is Ducky Duck. They bust up laughing, but let you come along. They introduce themselves as a married adventuring couple who plans to settle down using the gold they find in this cave.
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I bring my own tent for obvious reasons.
Also, I roll for being embarrassed or miffed at their ridicule.
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I journey further East, past the end of the desert, into the forests beyond.
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I check my pants for valuables that I can sell in the nearest town. I roll 12 for my Pants Searching skill.
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Indifferent.
In the forests, Rao find a mysterious ring. It has a gem in it, which appears to be topaz.
CrossEyed7 finds three gold and a second pair of pants inside the first.
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I search the nearby area for a weapon of my own.
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I check the new pants for another pair of pants. This goes on for a while.
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I pick the ring up, and put it on.
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more box art
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Nearing a terminal capacity of pants, I responsibly choose to stop taking advantage of my never-ending supply of pants. I gather up all the pants except two pairs into a big pile and begin carrying them to a merchant who will buy them off of me. Of the two pairs I keep, one of them I wear and the other I use as a Bag of Holding. I roll a supernatural 20.
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http://www.dangerdungeon.com/
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I have to pee.
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CrossEyed7's pants are worth a total of slightly over 20 GP after converting silver pieces into gold. The remaining silver pieces are used to purchase entrance to a restroom.
Rao feels as though he could withstand any level of heat (barring negative Kelvin) or cold (barring absolute zero) unscathed.
Turtlekid finds a sack of potatoes.
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I finish feeding baby Sauron, and decide to find a Zoo. I hear the best Zoos are in the recent past. I research time travel portals, applying my Intelligence stat.
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Captain Jim finds info about an unstable portal near a high magical field. It recommends staying far away, as the effects of merely entering the field could scramble brains in seconds, and using the portal could cause mass world-ending temporal confusion.
There's also a perfectly safe one in a peaceful meadow suspended above a radioactive volcano.
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I quest towards the safe portal, my fatherly instincts telling me that frying my baby's brain is a no-no.
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Using my mechanic stat, I hew the materials I need out of the cave wall and construct a crude but functional potato cannon. I then cast a lightness spell on it so I can take it with me.
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I trek deeper into the forest.
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I cast Detect Magic on my pants.
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Turtlekid doesn't have a mechanic stat. His adventuring party wonders what the hell he's trying to do. He eventually gives up and casts a lightness spell on the potatoes instead so that he can easily carry them.
Rao encounters some forest slimes. Roll for initiative.
CrossEyed7 finds that his pants are not magic. They're actually SCIENCE!.
Captain Jim meets the guy in this (http://themushroomkingdom.net/board/index.php?topic=12512.msg542192#msg542192) post.
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I roll for initiative.
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Rao goes first. The slimes prepare for the customary damage rolls.
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I roll for casting a Dormant Explosive spell on the potatoes to make bombs out of them
or
using a magic potato peeler to fashion them into throwing knives.
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I approach "the man from that post"
"Excuse me sir, is there a portal around here? I'm questing to the recent past to take my baby Sauron to the Zoo."
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"Straight up. You just passed the lift a few feet back. Have a nice day." He flashes the thumbs-up and resumes work.
Both of Turtlekid's rolls fail. He gives up and decides to just throw the potatoes at enemies.
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I decide it's been a long night and go to my tent to get some sleep. I roll for mild insomnia or nightmares.
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You roll a one and get both. This has definitely not been a good day.
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I thank the man, flash him a thumbs up, and head to the lift.
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Captain Jim boards the lift. It seems to take an awfully long time to reach the top, but when it does, he sees a grassy plain.
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I explore the grassy plain, looking for the portal. I find the portal, and look for a sign explaining the safety precautions of time travel.
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There is no sign. The swirling mass in front of Captain Jim looks rather inviting.
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When I finally get to sleep, I have a dream in which I'm chased by clowns who constantly shout "FORKS AND KNIVES, FORKS AND KNIVES!"
When I wake up, I roll for drinking coffee to get my day started or searching for a better weapon.
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I cast Detect Evil on my pants.
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I attack the slimes and roll for damage.
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Thankfully for Turtlekid, his adventuring party has some coffee.
CrossEyed7's pants are not evil.
Rao rolls a three and adjusts his attack strength accordingly.
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I wonder out loud where I am anyway.
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After drinking the coffee, we explore the cave more.
Roll for searching for treasure or looking for a fight.
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No roll there. Turtlekid's companions are still looking for this treasure deep in the cave. The party continues their exploration and comes across an eleven-foot gap with a button on the other end. "[darn] it! This always happens. It's always eleven feet and I've always only got a ten-foot pole," the man says.
As if to answer CrossEyed7, a sign with "YOU ARE HERE" printed on it appears.
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I throw several potatoes at the button, missing with several but finally hitting it in the end.
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Unfortunately, thanks to the lightness spell, the potato is too light to push the button in. Fortunately, it appears to be a bag of infinite potatoes.
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I magically bind together several dozen potatoes to increase their weight to that of a normal potato and use that to hit the button.
Thanks to my terrible intelligence stat, it never ocurred to me to just undo the lightness spell.
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With the help of the others (because while it may only weigh as much as a potato, it's impossible for a single person to lift it), Turtlekid attempts to throw the potato at the button. It hits the ceiling and falls into the pit. The party can now tell that it is not very deep.
(The lightness spell can't be lifted anyway.)
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I wanted to clarify something. Those of you with some knowledge of this kind of thing may know that putting an extradimensional item into another extradimensional item (such as a bag of holding inside another bag of holding) or casting a spell of extradimensionality on an extradimensional object has very bad effects. However, this does not apply to CrossEyed7's pants because they are science! rather than magic.
I doubt anyone cared about this, but it was bugging me.
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I fashion a rudimentary lathe with my scientific pants.
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A lathe (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lathe_(disambiguation))?
Glorb is lying dead in a gutter.
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I use the lathe and a nearby spinning wheel to form the YOU ARE HERE sign into a primitive cell phone.
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Unfortunately, while it has a cell phone shape, it doesn't work as anything more than a large cell phone-shaped bludgeon.
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I use it to bludgeon the employees of the nearest Apple store and steal an iPhone.
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CrossEyed7 is arrested for robbery, assault, and indecent exposure.
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I string together several dozen more potatoes into a rope ladder that we then use to climb into the pit and back out on the other side.
I press the button.
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>string together several dozen potatoes into a rope ladder
You don't have any string.
>press button
You can't reach it.
(Also, the pit has spikes at the bottom.)
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I use my science pants to give Turtlekid string.
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With the string CrossEyed gave me, I string together several dozen more potatoes, but this time into a grappling hook that lets us swing across.
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CrossEyed7 didn't give anyone any string, since he's in jail in the present, Turtlekid is in a cave in the recent past, and science pants do not work that way.
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I use my ducky-duck powers on the spikes to turn them into giant ducks which carry us to the button.
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You have to make a roll for that.
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I roll for that.
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Turtlekid's roll fails. Fed up with his idiocy, the woman grabs the sack of potatoes and starts chucking them into the pit.
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Getting an idea, I throw hundreds of potatoes into the pit until it's filled to the brim and safe to cross.
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The female member of the party was already doing that.
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I suspiciously glance at the female party-member. I roll for killing her with my thumb or hitting on her when her boyfriend isn't looking.
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I scold Turtlekid.
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Turtlekid's roll does nothing. He continues working with the woman and throwing potatoes into the pit. Eventually it is filled and the three walk across.
CrossEyed7 did no such thing. Jail in present, cave in past, etc.
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I press the button.
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The button activates the pit, which was actually a deep-fryer. Delicious smells waft from the pit. "This is exactly what we've been looking for - with those infinite potatoes and this pit, we can make an unlimited supply of French fries and end world hunger! Thank you, Ducky Duck!" the man says.
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"You're quite welcome," I say, "but I still need to find my grandfather. Have you seen him?"
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"How would we know who your grandfather is, Ducky?"
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"He's hard to miss; he wears a sailor suit and you can't understand a word he says."
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The two look at each other, confused.
Meanwhile, back in the forest, the slimes decide to attack Rao. However, they are stopped by the scorpions, who slurp them up. "Delicious!"
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I am amazed by the scorpions' actions, and increase their salary to 18 gald a month.
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"Um, thanks anyway," I say, "but I should get back to my quest." Which is what I do.
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As Turtlekid walks away, the two can be heard talking about how they're going to tell their son (currently studying abroad) he should name his kid Ducky Duck.
Continuing their adventuring, Rao comes across a small inn. The unmistakable smell of the best steak dinner ever emanates from the open door.
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My posse and I decide to have a meal and rest for the night at the inn. I have the steak dinner, without the steak.
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Darth Vader appears and Force feeds part of the steak to Rao. He finds it delicious and eats the rest of his own volition, abandoning his ideas of in-game vegetarianism. Right?
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Wrong.
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Rao is Force-fed the rest of the steak and sent to bed with no dessert.
Glorb's body is starting to decompose.
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I pass time.
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CrossEyed7 finds a DS charger (that works with any of the three types of DS) and a wall socket of the proper type.
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I cast a "locate-target" spell to find my grandfather.
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Unfortunately, it works on an atomic level, and it would appear that your grandfather, like Elvis, is everywhere.
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I roll for whether to search in Tupelo or Memphis.
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All players of DANGER DUNGEON must fill out these character templates.
You only have 14 skill points to split up and put into your Strength, Intelligence and Swagger attributes.
Think of generic class titles that humorously satirize fantasy RP games. For example I have the Sword Warrior. The Sword Warrior can only use a sword.
All text must be in Comic Sans.
You can change the text and background color. The background must be a solid color.
Below is an example and then the template.
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So is Lithards Mathscow true neutral or will players only be doing chaotic/neutral/lawful?
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Is a character's "alignment" the same as their orientation? I must know these things before consenting to partake in this here DANGER DUNGEON.
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This is all a joke don't think about it so much.
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Lithards Mathscow skips a potato across the fryer in such a way that it's fried to perfection when it reaches Turtlekid on the other side. (By the way, Turtlekid is stuck.) This action is so awesome that Lithards attains enlightenment as a result.
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You seem to misunderstand. This character is not part of the current game being played, it is an example for you guys to make your own characters (and help build the site).
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Err, TEM, I didn't intend the previous statement to be serious. At all.
I'M SO MISUNDERSTOOD SOB
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TEM, I was merely using your example character as a convenient plot device to point out that Turtlekid shouldn't be trying to go anywhere for a while unless he wants to be deep-fried.
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My DS is finished charging. As I turn it on, I am reminded of how much I hate Dr. Lugae's Reversal Gas, and in a moment of fleeting rage and passion, I throw the DS as far from me as I can. I regret this almost immediately, and begin a quest to find where the DS landed.
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It's right there. It landed unharmed in the sand.
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I fail my Check throw and go on the quest anyway.
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CrossEyed7's quest comes to a screeching halt when a spice geyser launches his DS into a nearby replication device, which begins replicating his DS until there are thousands of the things all over the place.
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My posse and I leave the inn and travel north, into the mountains.
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I grab the replication device and use it to make as many copies of myself as is reasonable.
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[If I'm stuck, how did I walk away from the adventuring couple in the first place?]
Also my guy.
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/me wanders out of the woods from the future!
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Perfect examples!
I just noticed you both went with the broccoli oatmeal green background color. Remember, you can use any background color.
Edit again: http://www.dangerdungeon.com/ The website has had its first character link set up, is there any feedback DANGER DUNGEON enthusiasts can give me?
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The skull is awesome.
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Replication devices don't work on FLESH!, so CrossEyed7 was unable to use it to make copies of himself.
Turtlekid obviously walked away from them in his little area so that they'd have room to pole-vault across the fryer.
The DD site rules.
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I jam even more potatoes into the wall, using them as handholds to scale the wall and cross the deep-fryer.
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The potatoes are too soft.
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/me attempts to teach the potatoes the move HARDEN!
This potatoe already knows four moves! Delete an older move to learn HARDEN?
Which move should be forgotten?
SCALLOP
MASH
BAKE
AU GRATIN <--
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I row across on my shield using a potato as a paddle.
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http://dangerdungeon.ytmnd.com
Also game art has been added to the real DDungeon website. Soon will have email account linked for submitting game are and characters.
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I climb to the top of a mountain, and look around to see what I can see. I see a huge figure coming towards me.
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/me uses steal speed on Turtlekid's potatoes.
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What? Potatoe is evolving!
Congratulations! Your Potatoe evolved into Potatoe Salad!
Would you like to give it a nickname? Salad of Evil
Salad of Evil is trying to learn the move RAGE!
Delete an older move?
SCALLOP <--
BAKE
MASH
HARDEN
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Yeah, potatoes aren't going to be used for any rowing or anything of that sort, shields don't hold up well in deep-fryers, and potatoes aren't [darn]ed Pokémon with names spelled by Dan Quayle, so let's just ignore Toad's and Turtlekid's last few posts, shall we?
Rao sees a man hurtling through the sky at him.
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Chupperson is the newly appointed DANGER MASTER.
Warp, take a break. For your diligent service you get 5 antiquated TEM Points.
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Awesome. Puts me at, what, 76.5?
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Yeah, potatoes aren't going to be used for any rowing or anything of that sort, shields don't hold up well in deep-fryers, and potatoes aren't [darn]ed Pokémon with names spelled by Dan Quayle, so let's just ignore Toad's and Turtlekid's last few posts, shall we?
What? But I was going somewhere with that!..
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I step aside as the man lands lightly beside me. I prepare for a possible battle.
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The man turns out to be an evil, yet friendly baker. He wants Rao to join him in his quest to bake the world.
Toad is sitting outside a restaurant peeling potatoes.
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I look up at Rao and the baker. I stop them and see if I can join the party.
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After contemplating things a while, I decide to join the baker and bake the world. Toad sure can come along!
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I wonder how in DANGER DUNGEON I'm supposed to get out of here. I get a +1 pondering bonus, but that's not going to help me right now.
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I search wherever the heck I am for valuables.
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CrossEyed7 finds 3 gems of questionable parentage and 1 piece of petrified popcorn.
Turtlekid is assaulted by a wave of living pudding.
Rao, Toad, and the Baker are assaulted by a disgruntled troll and its pet homunculus.
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I ward the pudding off by reading Naruto fan fiction to it.
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I would like to play. DANGER MASTER would you please insert me into the story somehow.
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/me wields his potato peeler against the homunculus.
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TEM is wandering through the romance novels aisle.
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I can't find any with Fabio on the cover so I join the pudding battle and wield a Staff of Vegetables.
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I put the gems in my fedora, then proceed to the next room, where I find TEM.
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"Excellent!" I say, while dodging a swinging pudding-pseudopod. "You've found a secret passage so we can get out of here!"
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/me rolls for initiative.
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Rao rolls a 3.
The living pudding chases everyone through the "secret passage". Too bad that room leads to the GROCERY STORE WITH NO DOORS
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So, what did the disgruntled troll and its pet homunculus roll?
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You found my shop of strange and wonderful things!
There are two treasure chests. Which one do we open?
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I raise my staff above my head and scream like a Sand Raider.
"I think I'll take... BOTH!"
I roll against Toad.
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I raise my potato peeler to get ready to defend against TEM.. (I'll actually roll something when I go home.. what do I roll, regular dice or.. ?)
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You roll a d20. Or anything that can kind of roll. Like animals, bags of chips, etc.
TEM rolls a 14. However, Toad gets defense against vegetables +1 for his potato peeler.
Locked in battle, TEM's staff is reduced to half its stature and Toad's potato peeler breaks, resulting in a sharp pain between TEM's ribs. +3 metal indigestion bonus!
Troll/homunculus rolled 2 against Rao and caused a scientific (not magical) portal to Dimension X to open in the ceiling.
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I stare at my newly created Vegetable Dagger and roll a penny to see if I can successfully flee battle.
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I tell my scorpion posse to hold on to me as I grab onto a huge boulder to keep from being sucked into the vortex.
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Meanwhile, using my shield and more fan fiction, I drive the pudding into the store's icebox and lock it inside for all eternity. I cast a freezer-sealing spell and roll for how much power it has.
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I do some more in-character things, then go to another room.
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I'm not convinced that Turtlekid singlehandedly corralled the pudding by himself. I think it TRICKED HIM WITH ITS MIND POWERS
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www.dangerdungeon.com now has a music section. Feel free to submit any tunes. Note that none of the submitted music can be over 64 kb/s in order to keep quality consistency and that the music doesn't have to be good.
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The first thing I've ever made with Fruity Loops. Hope it doesn't suck enough.
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This is great!
I'm still frozen in time here waiting to see if I can flee, Chupperson.
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Oh, k. Uh, heads says you flee. Unfortunately you hit the giant flea release lever on your way escaping from battle.
Giant flea and flea spawn attack the party.
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I rally my kinsmen to battle and attack the nearest flea with my VegDagger. I roll an 8-ball for damage.
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8-ball rolls ......... 8.
Reply hazy, try again.
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I rolled actually did roll a 20, but anyway..
I take the chest to the left, find an anchor within, and use that as my new weapon.
I follow TEM (since he's not about to be sucked into a vortex) and prepare to help him fight, since I was soundly beaten.
I take on flea spawn number 1. I roll a regular pair of dice..
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[I didn't fight the pudding by myself, my adventuring party helped.]
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I watch Turtlekid1 get attacked by a flea while talking about past events.
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Because Chupperson has neglected his DANGER MASTER duties, I stage a coup.
Turtlekid is startled to discover that it is a vampire flea! He begins losing blood at an alarming rate and begins losing control of his mind, slowly becoming a slave of the flea!
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So apparently I'm still trying to avoid being sucked into a vortex? I kinda stopped paying attention..
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Rao finds himself unable to hold on and is sucked into Dimension X, where the colors are inverted and every hour is happy hour.
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I roll a can of Diet Key Lime Faygo to see if I successfully do a can-opener into the vortex.
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The can is pulled into the vortex, which I'll go ahead and interpret as a yes.
Turtlekid has lost control of his mind. He begins attacking CrossEyed7.
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My scorpion posse and I become extremely drunk.
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Rao's overindulgence in alcohol disgusts the locals, as their liquor is quite low in alcohol content, and he had to drink a lot of it to get that drunk. The group stumbles around drunkenly for a while before being thrown into jail.
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look
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ERROR: SYNTAX: look (place or direction)
Rao and his posse meet the Spirit of Spirits while in the jail's bar. "How's it *hic* going?"
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I fight back with my rudimentary lathe.
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The pants-lathe seems to have no effect!
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I suddenly reappear in the story. I don't know where I am. I feel some plasmids in my pocket. I still have Baby Sauron. I look in my pocket to see what types of Plasmids I have,
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I remove my pants and place them on my head.
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Man, I don't think I noticed that anyone posted after my previous post in here.
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Jim finds a basic assortment of Plasmids - Telekinesis, Incinerate!, Electrobolt, Winter Blast, and a few Gene Tonics of varying usefulness (which I'll define as necessary). However, he decides that it would be best if Baby Sauron wasn't raised in the house of a drug abuser, and doesn't use them. He keeps them for an emergency, though.
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I secretly wait for an opportunity to use Incinerate!, but then I smell something wafting up from Baby Sauron. He needs a new diaper. I look around, trying to find anywhere that could potentially hold diapers.
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Jim finds a diaper golem. Roll for initiative.
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Knowing my attack stat is weak, I roll to politely ask the golem to give me one of diaper finger nails.
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The golem punches Jim. The fist is soft, but the wall he hits is not. Thankfully, Baby Sauron isn't in the baby harness...wait, Baby Sauron isn't in the baby harness?! He begins crawling toward the diaper golem.
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I gasp in fear. My Baby Sauron could be in danger! Maybe I should use telekinesis to retrieve him, or try to punch the diaper golem as if it were King Hippo. I roll to see what path to take.
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Jim dons his boxing gloves (which were in the same pocket of holding as the Plasmids) and runs up to the golem. He winds up, and...is sent to the ground. Maybe he shouldn't have telegraphed his attack...
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This time I roll for Plasmid use or advice from Doc Louis.
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I look for a cat.
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"Stop telegraphing your attacks! That's the same mistake every single one of Mac's opponents made!"
CrossEyed7 is still under attack from vampire-slave Turtlekid, so his search for a cat is severely hindered.
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I continue in a featureless void.
Chupperson is the DANGER MASTER again, Warp can never be again for ignoring my look command.
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Baby Sauron's font of demonic power gushes forth destruction and the diaper golem explodes.
TEM meets a small frog in the void. The frog offers to teach TEM a new spell at the cost of his weapons.
Vampire flea summons forth a tiger to meet CrossEyed7.
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I roll a die to see if I'm smart enough to tell if the frog is an enemy trying to unarm me before attacking.
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I find a cat!
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My scorpion posse and I get out of prison. We wander around for a while before seeing something shiny on the ground.
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(TEM, I didn't ignore your look command. I asked you, in a text adventure way, to clarify what you were looking at.)
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Rao and the Scorpions found a puddle of Terminator, and it prepares to attack.
TEM rolls a 4 which means the frog is a hallucination, but it teaches TEM the "hallucinate" spell anyway.
CrossEyed's cat takes a ride on his head.
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I roll for initiative.
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I stick a knife in an electric outlet. It hurts like heck, but due to the current coursing through my body, the flea dies and I regain control of my mind.
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I cast hallucinate on myself.
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Turtlekid regained control of his mind, but died along with the flea.
Rao rolls a cow on its left side, which means that the scorpions get to shoot the Terminator with a plasma rifle. It retaliates and shoots one of the scorpions' tails.
TEM sees a walking pineapple and its friend the plastic bag man. They give him some hallucinatory weapons including the rod of daymares. Whether these work outside of hallucinations or not is still in question.
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I respawn in Lumbridge. I lose the knife and the sack of infinite potatoes, though.
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I assume that I defeated a flea spawn..? I rolled a pair of dice after that post and rolled snake eyes..
I walk a short distance and see Rao and the scorpion army fighting the Terminator.
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I use the rod of daymares on myself. Roll for effect.
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TEM sits in a corner for a week on what appears to be an acid trip.
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I bust out my AWESOME LASER CANNON and just OBLITERATE THE *******.
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Rao I really don't want your foul language to be in this game.
I roll to see if I'm riding a Unicorn on Saturn or France (the Neptune version of France).
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Neptune France it is.
Toad is temporarily blinded. Where did the laser cannon come from?
Rolling down the road is an inexplicable new monster with 43 eyes and 212 toes.
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I decide to befriend the monster, as I can't fight it with only my shield.