Fungi Forums
Miscellaneous => Forum Games => Topic started by: Glorb on July 20, 2005, 12:23:37 PM
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I'll start you off with this intro, and you get to add ONE more sentence to it.
One day, Mario, Toad, Luigi and Peach went to a cabin for the summer. Suddenly, Luigi found the Necronomicon!
Well, this is where the signature goes...
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But it fell apart, and Mario found a piece of cake and ate it.
"Rockin Robots, Dr. Light!"~Megaman
Edited by - PaperLuigi on 7/21/2005 10:48:08 AM
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But then the cake, infused with the Necronomicon's evil energy, caused an army of the undead to rise from the ground!
Well, this is where the signature goes...
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And in each undead soldier's hand... a piece of Evil Bread!
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Luigi pulled out his trusty shotgun and capped one of the Breadites (the "Evil Bread") in the head.
Well, this is where the signature goes...
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"Hey, you're supposed to use your jumping power, not a shotgun," said the bread as he got up.
"Rockin Robots, Dr. Light!"~Megaman
Edited by - PaperLuigi on 7/22/2005 4:31:58 PM
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"But I'm-a gettin' old," said Mario.
Got Bird? –Bird Person<(^v^)>
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Luigi then turned to Mario and said: "He's-a asking me!"
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Mario was then eaten by the Breadites because he was old and weak.
Well, this is where the signature goes...
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But Mario was past his expiration date so they spit him out.
"My spirit burns like the sun and I shall dry you like a prune."
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Help, Mario is feeding me bread!
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Mario took a starman to power up, and started to jump on all the breads.
"Rockin Robots, Dr. Light!"~Megaman
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Meanwhile, the zombies were busy eating Peach's brains, which turned her into a zombie.
Well, this is where the signature goes...
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Zombie Peach set out to fool Mario.
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Since Mario "was-a gettin' old," it wasn't hard for Zombie Peach to do that.
Got Bird? –Bird Person<(^v^)>
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Mario then farted a mighty fart, and Toad screamed "Look, a chain chomp!"
"Rockin Robots, Dr. Light!"~Megaman
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This caused a quantum rift in the fifth dimmension, created by aliens, to transport Bruce Campbell to the cabin via black hole (with some help from Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster).
Well, this is where the signature goes...
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And then Spider-man showed up and couldn't get into the play.
"I think he will carry this island home in his pocket, and give it his son for an apple."
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Suddenly, the story restarted.
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Luigi found the Necronomicon.
"Does this mean were not getting pizza?" ~ Patrick from Spongebob Squarepants
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But since Spider-Man and Bruce Campbell were stuck in the time warp, Bruce stole the Necronomicon before it could fall apart!
Well, this is where the signature goes...
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This allowed him to kill Spider-Man and take over the cabin!
Well, this is where the signature goes...
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And then they all got "flushed".
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"Woo! Flushed! Yeah, back when you was an agent, you used to LOVE gettin'' flushed! You''d be all like, Flush me, J, flush me! And I''d be all like, No... You can''t quit on me now, K..." ~ Agent J, Men in Black 2
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Then bread breaded breadily, while breading his bread's bready bread with bread.
“Of all the people I know, it is expected that Watoad will say ‘cheese’ first.â€
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Bruce was astonished by this display of breadfulness, so he gave the Necronomicon to Zombie Peach, who then used it for her nerfarious deeds.
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"How are you gentlemen !! All your base are belong to us !! You are on the way to destruction. You have no chance to survive make your time. HA HA HA HA ...."
-Cats, Zero Wing (Genesis)
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but suddenly, a shy guy ran backstage and dropped a bucket on zombie peach.
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Little did zombie peach know... that that bucket... was full of bread!
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The bread became evil, and Mario ate it, and he became evil!
I have the body of a God! Unfortunately, it''s Buddah.
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Suddenly, the movie no-one was watching restarted.
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AHHHHHHHHHH!!! They all said, we'll be dead in a week!!
Why does the Earth turn?
Beacause it''s got to get rid of that litter somehow.
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In addition, it was supposed to provide "fun and profit!"
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Chef Torte's evil wedding cake came to challenge the evil bread for the title of Supreme Evil Pabulum.
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"Foolish cake, I will destroy you and all of your children and everyone else with my mighty DESTRUTCO-RAY!!" said the bread.
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"How are you gentlemen !! All your base are belong to us !! You are on the way to destruction. You have no chance to survive make your time. HA HA HA HA ...."
-Cats, Zero Wing (Genesis)
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Wario was real hungry, and he ate the bread, however it shot another ray thing and blew up his stomach.
I have the body of a God! Unfortunately, it''s Buddah.
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"This ulcer feels a lot worse than all those other ones..." moaned the pale-looking Wario.
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Sadly, it looked as if it was time for Wario to pass on, as he spewed forth a puddle of blood, all over Luigi's new shoes.
I have the body of a God! Unfortunately, it''s Buddah.
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Spider-Man, knowing that this was the blood of a true hero, drank it and promptly died.
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"How are you gentlemen !! All your base are belong to us !! You are on the way to destruction. You have no chance to survive make your time. HA HA HA HA ...."
-Cats, Zero Wing (Genesis)
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"Awww man," said Luigi, as both his shoes and his favorite Super hero, Spider Man, were gone forever.
I have the body of a God! Unfortunately, it''s Buddah.
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Then a possessed Shy Guy came back, armed with a chainsaw!
"My spirit burns like the sun and I shall dry you like a prune."
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But then Bruce Campbell, armed with not only a chainsaw but also a shotgun, went all VVRRRRRRM and impaled the Shy Guy with the chainsaw and blew its head off and then it was like KaBLOOOOWM and then there were these guts everywhere and it was totally awesome, dude.
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"How are you gentlemen !! All your base are belong to us !! You are on the way to destruction. You have no chance to survive make your time. HA HA HA HA ...."
-Cats, Zero Wing (Genesis)
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I read the violent posts and threw up for a few seconds and then gave everyone a stern lecture about not saying gross things because they offend... me and then suddenly a giant loaf of bread "ran" towards me and I ran out of the story forever so I wouldn't die a horrible death too, and after that the giant loaf floated to Bowser's castle and when Mario and his friends saw it they chased after it for some reason and then the bread rang the doorbell "DING-DONG" said the doorbell, "I'm a magic annoying talking doorbell that Miyamoto put in the game to make it more innovative and dive you all INSANE!" so the bread smashed the doorbell and the peasants rejoiced, and Bowser walked outside in his Peach-print pajamas and said, "What the flip do you want?!?!" and the loaf quickly replied, "ALL YOUR CASTLE!!!" and Bowser said, “What? No! Not all my castle! Smithy stole it from me and I won’t let it get stolen again!†but the bread said, “ALL YOUR CASTLE OR YOU DIE!†and then Bowser said’ “No please! How about just half of my castle? 3/4? You can have 3/4 of it! Please don’t kill me!†but Mario and his friends came up and said, “Leave-a Bowser alone!†and tried to eat the loaf but then it split into several slices and a giant toaster fell from the sky and the slices soon became evil toast with butter and turned everyone into ginger bread cookies and Yoshi ate them all and himself too, and then I learned how to use a period.
And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.
Edited by - Yoshisaurus Rex on 9/11/2005 5:35:27 PM
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Suddenly Zombie Peach came by in her THX-1138mobile and found the last shard of evil toast left by the giant morngel-eating mongrel that had just appeared. She used it to revive Spider-Man and Wario, but bent them to her will and began using them in her avaricious ambitions!
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Luigi became angry and set himself on fire.
I have the body of a God! Unfortunately, it''s Buddah.
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This made Spider-Man angry, and so he threw up Wario's blood on Luigi and put out the fire.
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"How are you gentlemen !! All your base are belong to us !! You are on the way to destruction. You have no chance to survive make your time. HA HA HA HA ...."
-Cats, Zero Wing (Genesis)
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With much "harrumphing," Wario trudged away, deciding that putting a fist through Zombie Peach would be simply disgusting, and rather distasteful as well.
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But Zombie Peach was nowehere to be found. She had been kidnapped by Zombie Bowser!
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Then Real Bowser kidnapped Zombie Bowser, and demanded that Zombie Bowser unkidnap Zombie Peach, so the Zombie Peach could Kidnap Real Peach, and then Real Bowser could kidnap Real Peach, and then allow Real Peach to kidnap Zombie Peach, then demand a ransom so that Zombie Bowser could get Zombie Peach back to kidnap, and so Real Peach did just that, and Zombie Bowser rekidnapped Zombie Peach.
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"How are you gentlemen !! All your base are belong to us !! You are on the way to destruction. You have no chance to survive make your time. HA HA HA HA ...."
-Cats, Zero Wing (Genesis)
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Then Zombie Wario kidnapped Wazombie Wario.
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Then WaZombie WaWario wakilled WaMario and WaSpider-WaMan, but WaWaWa wasploded into WaWaWaWario.
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"How are you gentlemen !! All your base are belong to us !! You are on the way to destruction. You have no chance to survive make your time. HA HA HA HA ...."
-Cats, Zero Wing (Genesis)
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Wathings were multiplied by other wathings, and guess what happened!
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Everyone died!
"And I realized a chyojin doesn''t need useless power. What''s Important and surpasses power is spirit....." Buffaloman from Kinnikuman.
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Just when it seemed like nothing could get wa-worse... a giant mechanical purebred loaf created from the pillsbury dough boy started to take over the world. It brought all bread to life and every bakery soon was filled with revolting bread that took over every city in the world. Then extreme breaditerians took this opportunity to teach everyone how our actions had resulted in this huge travisty, and they were attacked too! Everything was laid to burnination! Then Strong Bad threatened me for stealing his word. But Captina Butterman saved the day by creating turning all the bread into a giant bread sandwhich, and eating it. Unfortunately he died from that and Dr. Jellyman laughed an evil laugh and danced an evil dance.
And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.
Edited by - Yoshisaurus Rex on 10/12/2005 9:11:32 AM
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The first post looked like this, you see.
Glorb Posted - 20 July 2005 11:23 PST
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I'll start you off with this intro, and you get to add ONE more sentence to it.
One day, Mario, Toad, Luigi and Peach went to a cabin for the summer. Suddenly, Luigi found the Necronomicon!
Well, this is where the signature goes...
If birds breathed fire everytime they posted, the forum would''ve blow''d up by now.
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"Luigi, what do you think you're doing?!" cried Mario, "That's one more sentence than possible!"
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"Sorry," said Luigi, as he then used a magic sentence-alternating Mushroom to make it smaller, however Donkey Kong popped up and screamed, "Hey, how come I haven't been in this story, and how come Rare totally messed up my time-line, and why is King K. Rool such a rip-off, and why didn't I hook up with Paulina after Mario left her.....oh, and can I have a banana?" Luigi then shot D.K with a dart gun to knock him out, because the sentence was way too long.
I''m-a Luigi! Number-a one!
Edited by - PaperLuigi on 10/1/2005 1:02:13 PM
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Then everyone who posted on this topic was turned into poop because they posted multiple sentences in one post and they were too long and they didn't realize that the only one who can do that is Glorb, the supreme uber-master of the story, who can bend reality anyway he wanted HAHAHAHAHA! So he posted two sentences, just for fun.
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"How are you gentlemen !! All your base are belong to us !! You are on the way to destruction. You have no chance to survive make your time. HA HA HA HA ...."
-Cats, Zero Wing (Genesis)
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Then Mario and I get revenge for everybody.
Naruto, Code:Lyoko, Bomberman, and Mario Pwns.
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Then Glorb told everybody not to miss The Evil Bread's exciting sequel, Bread by Dawn, which takes place during the events of the first story, like that movie about that thing with all those flashbacks and stuff.
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"How are you gentlemen !! All your base are belong to us !! You are on the way to destruction. You have no chance to survive make your time. HA HA HA HA ...."
-Cats, Zero Wing (Genesis)
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Sorry, I got carried away ^_^:
(E I):o{D___(--I I):o(D___(o 8(= P)___(= (: )@)___(3 I)}:O})+)___<( )=(: )) )
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By the way, you can still add sentences to the story, even though there's a sequel.
After the kidnappings, Mario went FORWARD in time to the time of the Morlocks, via a freak wormhole accident involving gravy that no one really likes to talk about anymore.
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"How are you gentlemen !! All your base are belong to us !! You are on the way to destruction. You have no chance to survive make your time. HA HA HA HA ...."
-Cats, Zero Wing (Genesis)
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Suprisingly, the Morlocks were kinder than previously depicted.
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The Morlocks sued H.G. Wells for many many hundreds of dollars, but Mario was being a jerk and stole it all, when suddenly...
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"How are you gentlemen !! All your base are belong to us !! You are on the way to destruction. You have no chance to survive make your time. HA HA HA HA ...."
-Cats, Zero Wing (Genesis)
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the sentence wasn't finished!
________________________
Posted - 32 October 3005 13:61 PST
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Then, Thom Yorke's evil twin came flying out of the sky on his Evil Bread Machine!
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Then "The Toast" popped out of the new unexploded fifth demension and burned all of the evil toastarians except for "The Eviler Bread".
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Then something so totally unbelievably cool and radically awesome to the max happened so fast that everything exploded!
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Except for Then-- It seemed as if nobody could bring Then down.
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Then Then's back went out, and one of the Morlocks kicked him in the stomach.
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This caused him to die. (Yes, this is a double post, but I don't want this topic to die.)
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um... i think you just killed it.
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But this story has been around so long, and even though he never posted in it, TBT brought it back to life!
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Luigi Simpson and The Blue Toad bravely fought off the Morlocks, and beat them easily!
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"Oh, that was great," said the Blue Toad as he set down his axe which he had used to fight off the Morlocks.
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Suddenly, the cave opened (since when were they in a cave) and Master Bread Hand appeared, to which Blue Toad upgraded his axe and Luigi Simpson activated his battle armor.
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They cheered triumphantly!
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That was until Crazy Bread Hand appeared, and zapped Master Bread Hand, to which Blue Toad exclaimed, "That's your brother!" and to which Luigi Simpson corrected him, saying, "That was his brother."
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Both of them gasped in horror as Crazy Bread Hand began laughing maniacally, and he had no mouth!!!
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"I'll never give up! I want that Crazy Bread Hand trophy!" cried Luigi Simpson, as he performed an amazing triple jump to recover from way off the screen just in time to pick up the heart that had just materialized.
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Then, Crazy Bread Hand fired a sonic boom, which sent Blue Toad and Luigi Simpson to their knees, and then, suddenly, Then was revived and blew up, sacrificing his life boldly to save the axe-wielding Toad and his armor-clad ally.
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(Is this the first post of 2006? Sorry, I don't follow this topic, but... This was at the top of the list, and I have to go now)
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The Blue Toad and Luigi Simpson mourned over the loss of Then.
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Then, Crazy Bread Hand came back- but his spirit wasn't evil- it was Then's spirit!
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"Dear friends," said Crazy Bread Hand, not sounding so crazy, "I have come back to tell you that you both need to find the eight Triforce shards!"
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Then Link showed up and dropped four triforce pieces on the ground and said, "Here you go. I would give you the rest, but I guess I'm just evil that way."
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Suddenly, Blue Toad grinned. "Luigi Simpson and I will fight you for the rest!" to which Luigi Simpson nodded, saying "Let's rumble."
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Then Glorb, who had been on a vacation in the Caribbean watching all the action, walked up to Luigi Simpson and said "boo", which caused him the pee his pants and cry.
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Then Link comes up with a mop and starts wiping it off the floor, and says, "Geez, if your gonna pee about it, I might as well give you the rest of the triforce shards." Afterwhich, he threw them on the ground...duh.
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But as Glorb stole the shards, Luigi Simpson then ripped off his armor to reveal that he was...Pious Smiling (anagram)!
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The Blue Toad stood there in wonder, then said, "Uh...... I guess you can have four triforce shards, and I can have four triforce shards," and Luigi Simpson nodded in agreement.
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Suddenly, the real me came back, and looked at the fake me, and started to fight it with a sword!
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But Link joined in, slashing the fake Luigi Simpson in the chest.
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Then everyone rejoiced, and suddenly realised they were hungry, so they started devouring the doughy body of Master Bread Hand.
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But everyone's joy ended as Snorlax waddled into the room and ate the entire bread piece.
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"A Snorlax?" Luigi Simpson exclaimed. "Haven't caught one of those! Go, Eevee!" he yelled, as Blue Toad sent out Wortortle.
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But Link jumped up and impaled Eevee on his sword, and shouted "Let's not bring Pokemon into this!"
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Then Luigi Simpson kicked Link out of the story, exclaiming that this was meant to be a bread story, and suddenly, Luigi Simpson revived Eevee and returned her to her Pokeball.
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Zelda rushes into the room saying, "I just had the weirdest thought that, somewhere, somehow, a member of a Mario forum kicked Link out of the folds of the universe because of a Pokemon dispute...wait...it was you!"
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Then, suddenly, Ganondorf kidnapped Zelda, and because Link wasn't around to save her, she stayed there.
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Yet, there was still the matter of Snorlax, so Luigi Simpson threw out his Eevee again.
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Luigi Simpson, however, withdrew Eevee, and borrowed Blue Toad's axe, and he cut Snorlax to bits, and everyone had fried Snorlax that night. (...yuk...)
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After the feast of fried Snorlax, all were stuffed, and Mario rose and said, "Tonight, we have seen a true hero rise and make his mark on the Mushroom Kingdom's embassy...no, not Luigi Simpson...the Mushroom City Catering Co. for frying the Snorlax!"
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Blue Toad laughed, and Luigi Simpson saluted, exclaiming, "They're the real heroes in this adventure! Forget Then, who sacrificed his life for me and Blue Toad here, but remember the Mushroom City Caterers!"
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Then Pious Smiling, a.k.a Fake Luigi Simpson, used his magical anagramming wand and transformed The Blue Toad and Glorb into Double Theta and Blorg!
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Then, Luigi Simpson freed Link, and, together, they killed Pious Smiling, and threw his carcass out the window of Anti-anagramming wand effects, and Blorg and Double Theta transformed back into Glorb and Blue Toad- except, the wrong way around!
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Then, Ledzeppelinrocks ran into the room, looking for some fighting action, only to find Pious Smiling was dead, and he dejectedly kicked the ground.
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However, Ginip Simlonus and Tolu Bead came, and crashed the party along with Xonlas, Eveee, Tortorwle, and Eppenildelzrocks.
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Ledzeppelinrocks wet himself with joy, and started beating Eppenildelzrocks with a giant guitar*.
*Mario and TMK Unite reference!
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<offtopic> Someone remembers my story! :D :D :D </offtopic>
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Hey, that was a dynamic story, I think a lot of people remembered it but...
Luigi Simpson joined in on the beating of Eppenildelzrocks by throwing lightsabers at its face. (Where did the lightsabers come from? Find out next!)
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Suddenly, the whole world exploded in a flash of green, and all of the combatants were teleported to Baker's Delight, where gigantic bakers with huge, bread hitting hands converged on them!
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A giant breadite walked up and ate Eevee, as the rest realized what a daunting task they were up to.
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Bruce Campbell came and sliced it with a chainsaw. "Anyone up for some sliced bread?" he asked. Everyone threw pokeballs at his head.
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Then Breadachu threatened the earth with its Flourshock move!
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Suddenly, Eevee was revived, and used Bite, which instantly KOed Breadachu, and then Luigi Simpson withdrew Eevee before anyone could kill it again.
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The Blue Toad was very confused.
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Then Bruce, who was just recovering from the Pokeball concussion, killed the Blue Toad with his chainsaw - only to see he had just killed Te Tloe Bhuad!
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When Bruce swings the chainsaw again, he kills everyone. Luigi Simpson, The Blue Toad, Ledzeppelinrocks (and all of their imposters), Eevee, Breadachu, and even himself, forcing the story to go to a different plotline in which Peach is getting mauled by a Breadite, and she needs to be rescued!
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Then Glorb stopped all the action to play Castlevania: Dawn of Sorrow, only to find out Pious Smiling's zombie had transformed it into Waterfowl: Anacadona's Visor; at this he proclaimed, "Holy cow!", although it was soon revealed that he said, "Woo, lynch!" (and that ledzeppelinrocks was transformed into prizedpollendecks).
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Then, suddenly, every single hero and villain was revived, including some of the worst nightmares of the heroes- Crazy Bread Hand, the Morlocks, and more of their enemies, to which everyone gasped lamely.
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"Well," said The Blue Toad in a dull voice as he gripped his axe, "Here we go again."
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The Fungi Fighters (all the good guys from TMK) began fighting off a giant Breadite army, The Blue Toad using his axe, Luigi Simpson using banana boomerangs (don't ask), Glorb using dual lightsabers, and LZR using his giant gibson electric guitar.
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And so they all became, the Fellowship of TMK!!!
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Thus began The Great Bread War, and the alliances were as follows: The Fellowship of TMK and Mario's Army were allies, while the Breadite Republic and Koopafederacy were allies against the TMK'ers.
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Then, suddenly, Luigi Simpson put away his Banana Boomerangs, and blowed a horn that was yellow- and the Bananarmy came to help them, and he activated his armor, small katanas coming out of the side of his gloves.
"Bring it, Breadites!" he bellowed, jumping back into the battle.
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"Rahhhh!" cired The Blue Toad, his axe held in both hands and his legs spread apart, reading for the enemy. "Let them come!"
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Suddenly, the Bananas threw themselves at the Morlocks, causing the Morlocks to die and the Bananas to explode, and everyone ate banana splits, recharging them completely!
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LZR charged to a huge breadite with his guitar-axe, but as he ran, another breadite came up behind him slashed him in the head. Luigi Simpson ran to him, and realized, that ledzeppelinrocks was DEAD!
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"Noo!" Luigi Simpson yelled, immediately killing the Breadite. The heroes, remembering LZR's death, fought twice as hard, and beat them easily. LZR's funeral was held in the morning, and the service was held by every member of Led Zeppelin.
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The members of the Fellowship of TMK each said a few words, and the Mushroom Kingdom Caterers were catering the sad, sad event, but suddenly, Breadethius, the leader of the Breadites, charged in and screamed, "Give me the corpse!"
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Then Luigi Simpson, Glorb and Blue Toad stood in front of Breadethius, ready for battle, until Breadthius stretched an arm, and grabbed Luigi Simpson, absorbing him! Suddenly, Breadethius gained super strong armor, and twin katanas spreading out of his arms!
Glorb and Blue Toad gasped.
"I have absorbed the power of your friend! You are doomed!" Brethigi Simpson yelled, jumping at them.
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But he drew the weapons back in, and said, "Nevermind. I don't want the corpse." So, the Fellowship sat back down, shruging there shoulders, and then someone in the front screamed, "THE CORPSE IS GONE!". Luigi Simpson realized that one of his minions must have stolen the corpse when the attention was on Breadethius. His face filled with vengance, and he said to Glorb and The Blue Toad, "Let's roll."
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Then, Glorb exclaimed, "But you're dead! I saw you die!"
Luigi Simpson nodded. "I'm a ghost. I can still return to my normal form, but only by defeating the person that killed me."
Blue Toad gasped even louder. "That means... Ledzeppelinrocks is alive. Maybe he can help your revival!"
They hi-fived, except for Luigi Simpon, who wasn't solid.
"Need any help, guys?" a voice from behind them said, laughing.
They gasped. It was...
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Glorb! He put away his dual lightsabers and pulled out his trusty Desert Eagle, and blew off the head of a Morlock, but his head came crashing down on him, and Glorb soon realized he was DEAD! His funeral was attended by all the members of that band that did "Rock Lobster".
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Blue Toad cried, knowing that three of his greatest friends had died. Ledzeppelinrocks was alive, however, but missing, and Luigi Simpson couldn't be revived unless Breadethius was killed, making him useless in battle.
"I've got to go this one alone," he said confidently, running out towards the castle of Breadethius, when suddenly, he was encountered by Ledzeppelinrocks.
"LZR!" Blue Toad exclaimed, but, to his surprise, Led attacked him, knocking him onto his back.
"You've been brainwashed!" Blue Toad yelled, shocked.
"By me."
Blue Toad could only watch in horror as Breadethius descended from the sky, sneering.
"This is for my friends!" Blue Toad bellowed loudly, as he charged the villain, and his friend.
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Meanwhile, in Heaven, Glorb proclaimed to God, "Dagnabbit, I'm just itchin' to kick that Breadethius in the family jewels". So Glorb kicked Breadethius in the family jewels. The Blue Toad and one of the non-evil Breadites cheered, and, despite the fact that it didn't make any sense, LZR and Luigi Simpson came back to life. Glorb didn't however, and this really PO'ed him; however, he was no longer PO'ed when he realized that he could start a sitcom called "Glorb's Heaven", where his crazy neighbor St. Peter always tries to one-up him with his crazy get-rich-quick schemes.
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Then, suddenly, all of the Breadites died, and the Fellowship sat down to watch Glorb's show.
"Thanks, Glorb!" the trio said, as they laughed at the show.
However, unknown to Glorb, the money had gone to the fellowship, and they were all rich- LZR bought Led Zeppelin, the Blue Toad bought a golden axe, and Luigi Simpson gathered a private army of bananas. Suddenly, Glorb was revived, and he bought more light sabers, until, one day, the evil clones came back, except they were twice as powerful!
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"This has gone on long enough!" said the Blue Toad, his golden axe gleaming in the sunlight.
"...There are.... There are too many!" said LZR as he looked at all the evil guys ready to attack! "We must go in search of a shelter, and quickly!"
The four of them all got up and began running, trying to find shelter from the great shadow behind them. They all found no good place to hide, but instead stumbled upon a great, quick-flowing river! The water foamed white as the great water rushed by, splashing over jagged rocks that jutted out from the enormous stream like Goomba teeth.
"What now?" asked Luigi Simpson. The evil clones were gaining!
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A light descended from the sky- and Glorb came down, playing a harp and with wings!
"Glorb?" Luigi Simpson muttered.
"Ahaha! You're wearing a dress!" Blue Toad laughed.
Glorb scowled. "It's a robe!"
He grabbed the trio, and flew them out of the way, and behind the clones.
His wings disappeared, and his robes turned into normal clothes- his harp was now twin light sabers.
Blue Toad got into a combat pose, and Ledzeppelinrocks prepared to attack with his guitar. Luigi Simpson activated his armor, and they all looked at each other, grinning.
"Let's rumble!" they yelled, leaping into the fight.
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Luigi Simpson brought out his signature Banana Sword as slashed into a few of the clones, casting their downfall! Glorb zipped in and out of the battle, his duel lightsabors making those cool noises! The Blue Toad swung his golden axe through the air, taking down many clones at a time! LZR strung a string on his guitar, sending an immense sonic wave bashing into the evil clones and sending them flying. They had defeated all the clones!
But....
And evil laughter suddenly struck them from behind. They all quickly turned around, waepons still at hand. Hovering above the water, was a new villain. His name was; Puppernickel the Great. He was a tall, broad looking fellow, with horns sticking from his head. The thing was, he was made eniterely of puppernickel!
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Blue Toad gasped, because he was allergic to puppernickel (jk).
Luigi Simpson gasped, because he'd forgot what puppernickel was.
Ledzeppelinrocks gasped, because he had left his CD player on.
Glorb gasped, because everyone else was.
The baby gasped, because it was choking on a toy part.
-
Pumpernickel the Great boomed a great laughter and said, "Bow down before me! I have stolen all of your most precious posessions."
"From The Blue Toad I've stolen a large collection of axeheads!" he said
"NOOO!!!" The Blue Toad screamed.
"From Luigi Simpson I have stolen a banana smoothie maker!" he said again.
AHHHH!!!" Luigi Simpson screeched.
"From Ledzeppelinrocks I have stolen the Led Zeppelin CD 'The Song Remains the Same'!" said Pumpernickel.
"YOU MONSTER!!!" Ledzeppelinrocks cried.
"And from Glorb, I've stolen nothing!" Pumpernickel the Great screamed
"AHHHHHHHHH...um...never mind, that's not so bad," Glorb said
"I've placed them each throughout the Woods of Sorrow, but mark my words, if you wander off from the rest, you will lose your way forever."
"Why are you giving us hints, your the bad guy," Ledzeppelinrocks said.
"Ughh...I'm giving you help, the least you could say is thank you." Pumpernickel sighed.
-
"Thank you. By the way, that wasn't my smoothie maker. Using live bananas for nourishment... that's just wrong. I'd rather be a cannibal!" Luigi Simpson yelled, outraged.
-
"Ugh...whatever, Glorb can have it, just start your journey in the woods, young fools!" Pumpernickel the Great boomed as the four heroes took their first steps into the Woods of Sorrow to search for the lost objects.
-
The trio plus one journeyed through the forest.
"Hey, my axe head!" Blue Toad yelled, but then he was attacked by a group of smileys!
+Flashback+
:'( :'( :'(
:'( x_x :'(
^ Mourning smileys
+End Flashback+
"You killed our friend!" the smileys yelled.
"There must've been a mistake," LS said.
Blue Toad nodded.
"Oh, sorry, we're just angry and hyper. We'll join you in your quest to find that CD and the smoothie maker!" they smiled as one.
-
They kept on creeping forward, and after a few hours of desperate searching Glorb walked off the trail away from the three others, thinking he saw a penny.
"NOOO!!!" They all three screamed.
He disapeared into midair. Glorb was lost in the Woods of Sorrow.
-
The smileys began to cry again, and the remaining trio began to comfort them- until, Luigi Simpson, too, disappeared.
"AAAAH!" Luigi Simpson yelled, until he landed on a giant mattress.
He got off the mattress, and saw a huge door- which Glorb was trying to open.
"Hey, Glorb, what's happening? Who brought us here?" he asked.
Glorb shrugged. "I think it might've been that evil scientist over there."
Meanwhile, Ledzeppelinrocks, Blue Toad and the smiley band were faced with a giant dinosaur! *Gasp*
-
Ledzeppelinrocks sighed and pulled out his rigidly awesome guitar, while The Blue Toad pulled out his stellar and legendary axe. The Blue Toad began chopping away at the dinosaur's ankles, while LZR played an intriquite lullabye to drift the dinosaur into a deep sleep, after which he began slicing the dino's head open with the fretboard of his giant guitar.
-
"Where's the Luigi Simpson and Glorb?!?" asked The Blue Toad as he took a bight of dinasaur.
"I don't know!" cried LZR, spitting out a bone to the forest ground.
"You have all seperated!" cried the smileys, "If you want to see them again, you must seprate as well!"
LZR and TBT did as the Smileys said (for afterall, being so happy in the Woods of Sorrow, they probably knew a lot more about this place than meets the eye).
-
TBT and LZR found themselves flying through the air until they finally landed on the strange giant matress in front of the huge door that Glorb, Luigi Simpson, and a weird mad scientist were trying to budge open.
"Your here!" the two yelled.
"Yeah," LZR sighed, "but who's the mad scientist?"
-
"Some know me as Professor Elvin Gadd," he said. "I was doing a report on ghosts in this very forest, when I suddenly vanished and landed here! I've been trapped here ever since... This door is simply too heavy to budge!"
-
"Man we are stuck here for eternity," Ledzeppelinrocks bellowed, "and I need new batteries for my CD player."
"Wait, there must be some secret...um...let's see..." Luigi Simpson said, as he looked around, "oh! Blue Toad. Move that matress!"
He did so, and out of a large amount of flames came Pumpernickel the Great!
"WHA HA HA HA!!!" he screamed evily, "THIS WAS THE PERFECT TRAP! I KNEW YOU IGNORATE IDIOTS WOULD ALL SEPERATE! NOW TIME FOR THE ULTIMATE BEATDOWN!"
-
Then all the sudden, somone started screeming from above "AhhhHHHhHHhHHHH!!!!" then he hit Pumpernickel the Great's head, causeing him to die "Oweee! hey hold on where am I?!" he said while looking around
-
"You're in some sort of dungeon place... with a big door," replied The Blue Toad, "who are you?"
-
"I'm Dragon_Masher, but you can just call me Masher, so... this is what happens when you get lost in the forest of sorrow, eh?"
-
"Yeah." Ledzeppelinrocks sighed, looking depressed. For he knew they would be lost for a long, long time.
But despite his ideas, the giant door began opening flashing a giant light. A piece of paper flew out, and The Blue Toad grabbed it. He read it aloud:
"Congradulations. The prophecy of the Five Knights of the Fellowship has been fuffiled. You have defeated the evil shadow over the Woods of Sorrow, which is now once again the Woods of the Smilies."
Luigi Simpson exclaimed, "Masher! You were the final key to the door's mystery! We have outsmarted the Woods of Sorrow!"
-
The Five Knights of the Fellowship cheered as the door slowly began to open!
-
"Woah! I did something important!" Masher did a little dance, and as the door opened more, it sucked everybody in, sending them into a white looking place with text in the sky "AhhhHHH! where are we?!" Masher said quickly
-
They all were scrambled about in the corners of the universe, until they all respawned in front of a giant, wise frog in a lily pond. The frog's name was Luepoftior, and he began to tell the Five of the Fellowship their next giant mission.
-
"You five are told in the great legend," he said slowly, "It is said that the Five Knights of the Fellowship of TMK will rise up, and save the earth from a great darkness that slowly consumes the earth day by day..."
"That's bad," said LZR.
"Yeah, I know," said Luepoftior. "You five must journey to a place far away, it is called the Great Temple of the Five. There you will each recieve your primary weapon for fighting. These magic utensils will allow you to defeat the greatest evil ever to loom the earth."
"Woah, woah," said Masher, "That sounds pretty heavy..."
"Yes, I realise that this is rather sudden," said the giant frog, "But when you five joined, the evil darkness was strengthened a little, and is growing ever stronger! There are poor, oblivious people that need your help! Will you five journey to the Temple and save the earth from darkness?!"
-
"Is the weapon called the Fifth Sword?" (rip from zelda :P) Masher asked him "uhh... No." "is it the... Five sword?" Masher asked again, and again about the name, until Masher finally said the right one "is it the... Sword?" Masher asked "Yes it is the Sword" the Great frog told Masher. Releived that they could finally know what they were looking for, Masher shuted up
-
"Yes!" Luigi Simpson immediatley replied.
"But wait, there is one more thing," Luepoftior said, "...um...be careful..."
They were all suddenly transported to the front of the Great Temple of the Five. LZR was the first to recieve his primary weapon:
From the sky dropped a sleek, silver guitar, about as big as a minivan. The edges were as sharp as the sharpest razor blade, and one string plucked shook the foundations of the earth and shone a great and mystical light. LZR's face lit up. This was the liberator of the good and pure, the destroyed of the bad and wretched.
And The Blue Toad's weapon was...
-
A grand emerald axe! It fell from the sky as a gift from heaven. It was crafted to the most amazing quality! It's green glow was positively radiant, and it moved through the air at surprising speed, and still had a great sense of power and might! The Blue Toad could feel power bursting through his body as he held his green instrument. He held his gallant Emerald Axe into the air as it glowed magically, and then walked over to LZR who was busy playing awesome songs on his guitar.
Next was Masher. He recieved...
-
A fine dust spread over Masher.
"Well, that was stupid," he muttered- and, unexplainably, Luigi Simpson was thrown to the floor.
"Whoa! I have psychic powers!" he yelled.
-
LZR sat in a corner playing a ground-shaking lyrical song as TBT swung around his amazing emerald axe, and Masher practiced his mental abilities.
Luigi Simpson's weapon dropped from the sky...it was stellar...it was...
-
A new, sapphire coloured armor!
"Awesome," Luigi Simpson said, activating it- it seemed lighter, but stronger, and had a small plasma cannon instead of one of the katanas- the other katana was now a silver sword.
"Awesome," he said again, letting Glorb have his weapon.
-
The knights with there new weapons, went into the temple in search of the other great weapons, that would help kill the evil bread! "now all's left is Glorb and... uh, who?" Masher barely knew his party members
-
The first chamber was dimly lit. But there was no doors. Just a giant pillar with the following strange inscription:
< > ^ ^ V < <
LZR immediatley picked up his guitar and said, "this is just primitive piece of music. I just need to follow this, and we get further."
He played the notes and the pillar scooted over, and they went into the next chamber.
-
"This is easy... too easy..." Masher said, But right after he said that the walls in the chamber started to move in on our heros "Had to open your big mouth" LZR mumbled
-
(Awesome Windwaker thing!!!)
The Five quickly ran throughout the chamber, trying to get out before the walls closed in on them! As they continued to run it grew darker and darker. The Blue Toad noticed that his axe suddenly gave of a radiant green glow. This allowed them to search for a passageway in the dark!
-
"Hold on..." Luigi Simpson said "Masher, Use your powers!" "Oh, Oh yeah!" Masher said, "Must.... Focus..."
-
LZR looked down at his guitar. It was only thing that could save them, there was no secret passage in sight, but this would give them more time. It would be destroyed, but, it was either his life or the guitar.
He wedged it up, right when the walls were the right size.
LZR stared at what he had done.
"That was better than a Les Paul!" he screamed, but each of the five knights climbed up on the neck of the guitar which actually got them close enough to a secret opening high up in the wall to go through it into the next chamber.
-
Masher was the last one to climb up the guitar. "Grab my hand!" LZR screemed, so masher did, but then... the guitar bursted into several parts, causing Masher to dangle on LZRs arm
-
Masher was safe, but, Ledzeppelinrocks said, "How can we go on when I don't even have a proper weapon?"
Well, they went on anyways and the next chamber had Ledzeppelinrock's guitar floating in the air, with a little note on it. It read:
Courtesy of The Mushroom City Caterers.
"What dy'a know," the Blue Toad said with a grin.
-
"I will not open my big mouth, I will not open my big mouth" Masher thought over and over. Then sudenly, The knights came to a large, dragon-looking statue "wow, thats a cool statue" LZR said, "should we go in here?" L. Simpson asked "I dont know..." I thought. LZR turned at me and asked "uhh, masher? you ok?" "I'm trying not to open my big mouth! or that dragon might come alive or something!" but then, the worst thing happened... I farted
-
At that, the dragon transformed, saying "That's stinky!"
The five warriors looked extremely scared- it was the one thing they had nightmares about. They wouldn't have enough training to take on... BARNEY THE DINOSAUR!!!!!!!!
-
The Blue Toad prepared his axe as he charged towards the dinosaur (which could apparently be awakened due to flatulance?). He swung his glowing green axe down upon the purple beast, and his axe shot striaght through it's belly. A white light glowed from the gash in Barney's stomach, and the Five stared in amazement.
-
In a deep scary voice, Barney thundered, "THE FIVE WILL PERISH IN THE TEMPLE OF THE FIVE!!! BY ORDERS OF LUEPOFTIOR!!!"
Luigi Simpson said, "I thought he was on our side! This is getting more and more suspicious!"
-
It Regenerated! "Ohh... My... God... I'm... gona... die..." Masher said while weting his new pants "Die you freak!" TBT said as he threw his axe into the monsters eye "ROOooOOOoooOOooOOOOooOOoooooOoarr...." "oh god, hes chargeing his death weapon!!!" LZR screemed "I love you... You love me..." "NOOOOooooooooooooooooo!!!" They all yelled
-
Finally, Barney slumped to the floor, and the Five could finally enter the stone dragon's mouth.
LZR said, "The weirdest thing is that Luepoftior made Barney kill us! I thought he was on our side!"
-
They all pondered this as they continued into the dragon's mouth.
"Perhaps this whole thing was a trap," said The Blue Toad.
-
"uhh guys?! I just relized that we are in a stone purple dinasour that sings about loveing people, is that bad?!" Masher said "naw, we're just having a creepy time, it happens to everybody" L. Simpson said
-
Suddenly, they were spat out- Barney was revived, and his purple was now a dangerous blue. They gasped.
The purple dinosaur charged at them again, and Masher immobilised him with psychic power.
"I can't hold him for long!" Masher muttered, and Blue Toad leapt forward, attacking brutally. However, his axe broke!
Next to strike was Glorb, slicing with his Light Saber, which barely did any damage, but still managed to knock him back.
Then, LZR made a loud sound with his guitar, knocking Barney to the ground.
Luigi Simpson ran forward, preparing to finish Barney off with his sword, when suddenly, Barney grabbed him in a bearhug- Masher had run out of power, and fallen unconscious.
"Give me a hug!" Barney cried, and Luigi Simpson felt his arm break- he lazily lifted up another arm, and blasted Barney in the mouth with his blaster.
The demonic dino finally fell, making a loud boom. Luigi Simpson landed, collapsing.
"His arm's really bad," Glorb informed them. He turned to Blue Toad.
"You don't have any weapons- maybe you should take Masher and Luigi Simpson back to the town."
He nodded, helping Luigi Simpson up and carrying Masher over his shoulder.
LZR and Glorb looked ahead, took a deep breath, and decided to continue.
-
Luigi Simpson, The Blue Toad, and Masher stopped in a bar on the way to the town. They sat down on the bar stools and each ordered a warm milk. The Blue Toad stared at the strange beast sitting next to them. It was Luepoftior! They had a bone to pick with him!
-
Sudenly Masher awoke and lept up from his chair screeming random things "OH MY GOD? HOW DID YOU DIE LUIGI?? AM I BACK HOME?! WHere am i....." then masher colapsed on the floor. The frog stared at him, and stuck out his tonge and... Gulp, ate masher in one big GULP!
-
"That evil frog!" Blue Toad gasped, who ran into the frogs mouth after Masher. However, Luigi Simpson was playing pool, and was winning easily, because he was on a sugar high from drinking and eating waaaaaaaaay too much chocolate and chocolate flavoured stuff.
-
The Blue Toad moved past all the organs and gross stuff, and grabbed Masher around the collar, desperately pulling him out of the evil frog. Once he was out he confronted him.
"Tell me, frog," he said, "why did you try to kill us?! The Five Knights?!"
Oh how he wished he still had his Emerald Axe.
-
The bartender brought past a mop to clean up the cartilege and blood and bodily fluids and started mopping it up, he said, "you think you see it all in the bartending buisiness...but..."
-
The evil frog croaked a laugh.
"Fools!" he said. "I am the dark enemy that is consuming the earth, it is I!!! I simply hoped that you five would be killed as I had hoped by my hench-barney...but he failed me..."
"Wait..." said The Blue Toad, "Why didn't you just kill us when you had the chance?"
"Because," said the evil frog, "Er.....I had.....my mom.......you see........uh.....SHUT UP!"
"I'll shut YOU up!" said The Blue Toad, "Come on guys, CHARRRGE!" The Blue Toad took out his plain, steel axe as Masher followed behind him, weilding his powerful mind abilities. Luigi Simpson was a little busy at the moment eating M&Ms.
-
"Pokemon! Pokemon! Gotta catch em all!" Luigi Simpson sang, as he and two other people were playing Galaga on an arcade machine.
"Uh... what are you doing?" Blue Toad asked. "We gotta fight!"
"Ooh! It's one of those Mageseses! Gotta catch it! Go, Pikakacu!" Luigi Simpson yelled, as he flung himself against a wall.
"He's only on a sugar high," a female voice said.
Blue Toad turned around- to his surprise, it was...
-
It was peach, and... Wario?! "uh wario, what are you doing with peach?!" Masher asked quickly "Oh we're just dating" peach said "What?!" I was confused. But then...
-
Luigi was throwing a glass of milk at Luepoftior's face, thinking that would help...but suprisingly it did! He was lactose-intolerant.
"Hey!" Peach said, "you guy's have to go save Ledzeppelinrocks and Glorb!"
"How dy'a kn-"
"It was on the sitcom 'Glorb's Heaven! Now go!" Peach screeched.
"Thank God for primetime!" The Blue Toad said as they left.
-
Not before long, Masher, TBT, and Luigi Simpson had arrived back at the Temple of the Five. Luckily, they had already gotten through most of the traps and puzzles, so it dind't take long for them to find the place where Barney's corpse lay. Inside the mouth they went!
-
"I had a friend called Barry. He was a good friend of mine. He dropped around for coffee. He did it all the time!" Luigi Simpson sang, which was really beginning to annoy Blue Toad.
"No, Barry, no, Barry, I'm not gonna give you any money, Barry,
No, Barry, no, Barry, I'm not gonna give you any money, Barry."
Blue Toad swore at Luigi Simpson, and then, in front of him, there was a female forum member; it was...
-
(Someone needs to inform a female forum member about this story..... and i want my emerald axe back) :-(
-
"I had a friend called Barry. He was a good friend of mine. He dropped around for coffee. He did it all the time!" Luigi Simpson sang, which was really beginning to annoy Blue Toad.
"No, Barry, no, Barry, I'm not gonna give you any money, Barry,
No, Barry, no, Barry, I'm not gonna give you any money, Barry."
Blue Toad swore at Luigi Simpson, and then, in front of him, there was a female forum member; it was...
Khold!
"What are you doing here," they all said at the same time.
"Well, we're looking for the ones they call Ledzeppelinrocks and Glorb," The Blue Toad explained cluctching his emerald axe.
"Oh, them. They're further down the road." She said.
"Well, we're not going any further if you don't tell us why you're here," the Blue Toad said.
"I'm here because...
-
(Haha, thanks!)
...because I was sent here by the great Queen Sapphira. We have heard tale of strange doings over here in this ancient temple, and she sent me, her royal assistant, to check it out... And all I've seem to have found is a blue toad in a green cloak, a person in strange sapphire armor, and a lad with a unique mind ability...."
The Blue Toad, Masher, and Luigi Simpson explained to Khold what had happened, and how they were now simply looking for LZR and Glorb so they may move on to their next mission.
-
Sudenly, the tunnel started shakeing... and green looking goo flooded the place very quick, and with the green goo, came LZR, and Glorb
-
It flooded them out of the temple, for it must have been of fate. Khold bid them farwell, as she said she was to return to Queen Sapphira and Pt. Peach.
The Five stood there, wondering what to next. After a minute or two of scilence, Luigi Simpson yelled to Khold, "Hey wait up!"
-
"What is it?" she asked as she turned to face them.
"Maybe we could come with you?" asked Ledzeppelinrocks. The other four Knights seemed to have no arguement against this.
"And why would you want to follow me?" Khold asked.
"We five are born for adventure!" said Masher.
"Yes! And perhaps you queen will give us some sort of task that may apply to this?" asked Luigi Simpson.
Khold looked hesistant for a moment and then replied with, "Well.........."
-
"Well... You could help guard our kingdom from the evil attacks" She explained
"from what evil attacks?" LZR asked
"oh all kinds, you will have to be lengendary to guard our castle"
The knights hesitated, until Masher said, "I think we should help"
"Yeah" they all agreed
-
"So, what is this darkness that attacks your castle?" asked Masher as the six of them continued their walk to Queen Sapphira's castle.
"It is a strange being who comes from the Evil Bread Army... He seems to call himself... Lord Puppernickel the Great, or something like that," Khold replied.
They all gasped.
"He's back..." said The Blue Toad.
(Post 200!)
-
After a few hours of walking, they arrived at Sapphira's Palace.
It was a giant civilization surrounded by a giant brick wall.
The Five began their guarding duty, weapons armed.
Soon after, a dark, giant shadow began to approach the palace.
-
They could see Pumpernickel's army on the horizon, steadily growing nearer like a black cloud preparing for storm.
"Ready yourselves, men!" cried LZR. Ledzeppelinrocks prepared his guitar, pick at the string. Masher brought his hands to his head, his index fingers and middle fingers pointed towards his temples and his eyes closed. Luigi Simpson prepared his superb sapphire armor, along with his Banana Boomerangs. Glorb took out his dual lightsabers, ready to fight. The Blue Toad held his Emerald Axe in each hand, ready to go into battle.
-
"Aw, shoot!" said Glorb. "Well, this looks like a job for my Desert Eagle..." But his Desert Eagle was not there. It was an H&K VP70 35mm handgun! And it was gold! And it was signed, "This gun belongs to Elvis"! "Wow, this must've been my gift from that frog dude." said Glorb. So he fired his VP70 at the darkness, but it didn't work. "Crap!" he yelled. However, this exclamation caused the darkness to transform into...
-
Ham Sandwitches! "Oh no! Evil bread AND evil ham!" they all screemed "time to clean house!" TBT said loudly
"CHARGE!!!!!!" Then, once again, the heros had to fight an army of bread, but this time, bread & ham...
-
Masher flipped over a ham sandwitch with his his awesome mind powers as The Blue Toad proceeded to hack at him with his axe.
"Fools!" cried Pumpernickel who was hovering overhead, "You shall not defeat the HAAAAM!!!"
-
Sudenly, a ham sandwitch was bit, making it die. But... who bit the bread? none other than... Wario! "Hey guys *munch munch* whats up?" he said while chewing the monster to crumbs "we may need a little help, wario" L. Simpson said. "Awww, allrite!" so now, the 5 knights had 1 fat pig man that helps... uh... eat... everything.
-
However, on his 2nd sandwich, Wario's stomach spontaneously combusted. "You fools!" said Pumpernickel, "Like I said, NOTHING can defeat the Evil Ham!" Glorb looked around, and spotted a straw and a paperclip, which he took. "Blue Toad, give me your stash of rubber bands!" he said. "But I don't have a stash of rubber bands." Blue Toad replied. "Oh, don't be silly. All Blue Toads have a secret stah of rubber bands!" replied Glorb. With much harrumphing, TBT handed over a handful of rubber bands. "Masher, give a dollar, and Luigi Simpson, gimmie a banana!" They handed over the goods, and in no time Glorb had created a deadly...
-
Recreation of Pumpernickel "what?!" Pumpernickel the great shouted, as the robo version of him attacked him.
"this will buy us some time to plan" Glorb said. "why dont we just let the robot kill him?" Masher asked.
"Uhhhhhhh....... good idea" So they did, and it was strong enough to make pumpernickel flee.
-
And thus was another disaster averted, thanks to Glorb's awesomeness. However, the robot's energy core began to transmit such strong robotic energy that they were all (except for RoboPumpernickel) transmitted to a parallel universe!
On the horizon, Glorb spotted some familiar figures...The Five Knights! But they looked different, and, you know, there was already a Five Knights. So they real Knights approached them cautiously. Glorb's alternate was, according to his name-tag, Pink Glorb...and he was actually a she! And pink! Ledzeppelinrocks' was Metallicarocks, and LZR looked in puzzlement at his alternate-universe self. Luigi Simpson's alternate was Suigi Limspon. He actually looked pretty much the same, but, you know, the L and R were switched. The Blue Toad's was The Red Toad, and instead of a stash of rubber bands, he had a stash of Ernest VHS tapes. And finally, Masher's alternate was Evil Masher, and he had a goatee. "Why the heck is my parallel universe self evil, and everyone else's is just stupider versions?" asked Masher.
Suddenly, the sky opened, and an army of hideous Parallel Universe Breadites poured forth! "You opened your big mouth!" exclaimed The Blue Toad.
-
Suddenly, the Breadites went behind our heroes!
"Oh yeah, they're good guys now!" Glorb exclaimed.
"U m4y h4v3 teh 4dv4n74g3, bu7 we R Teh 5, we R0X0R U then U am no more cry, then I ROFL." the Mirror Five said in creepy unison.
"Aaah! Leet! Get it off!" Luigi Simpson yelled, sinking slowly to the ground.
"Charge!" Blue Toad shouted, and the Five- except for Luigi Simpson- and the Breadites moved towards their greatest battle yet.
-
Masher: Eat this!!!! *puts ducktape on Suigi Limpsons mouth*
SL: Mmmph! mph mmmmph!
E Masher: I 4M T3H 83773R M4SH3R!!
LS: NOooooOooOOoooo I HAAaTE LEET! DIEEEEE *kicks Emasher in the face* STOP. SAYING. THINGS. IN. LEET!
Emasher: 0W! MY P00R 1337 F4C3!!!
-
Metallicarocks threw a copy of "Master of Puppets" at LZR's face, after which, LZR threw a giant copy of "Zoso" at MR's face, making him stumble off of a cliff.
LZR: Ha!
Pink Glorb: Not so fast!
After this, Pink Glorb sent a giant ray right into LZR's neck, sending him to the ground...dead.
-
Just a friendly eminder: We're writing this in regular story form, not RPG text-style, because it's easier to record. Thank you.
"NOOOOO!" said Glorb, furious at what his alternate ego had done. So, grabbing The Red Toad's collection of Ernes VHS tapes, Glorb created a big club, which he hit TRT in the head with. But Metallicarocks suddenly recovered! But only to be finally killed by Ledzeppelinrocks.
"You don't mess with LZR!" said LZR at his defeated opponent's corpse. However, LZR's alternate-alternate came over - Aerosmithrocks! "Aw, crap." sighed LZR. Meanwhile, Glorb, Masher and The Blue Toad were busy fighting off their counterparts. Pink Glorb suddenly gained an edge in the fight, as she pulled out a deadly...
-
Noodle!!! "no! not the super-kill-you-five-times-noodle!" Glorb said. "uh, why is it called the super-kill-you-five-times-noodle?" Masher asked. "well, I guess its because its a noodle, which kills you... five times?" Glorb explained, But while they were talking, TBT was tackeld by PGlorb. "help!!" TBT screemed as his face was being pistol whiped. "Die you person who looks like me!!" Glorb said, while aiming his gold H&K VP70 35mm handgun at PGlorb, But PGlorb had a pink one! So they both fired. >Click< "oh crap!! I forgot this gun doesnt work!!!... wait... if PGlorbs gun worked... why am I not dead?" Glorb asked. "Well, Its probly because....
-
...oh...I see why!" Glorb exclaimed, as she transfixedly watched Pink Glorb being strangled by a wrinkled old man with a long, silvery beard. Eventually Pink Glorb fell to the ground.
"Gandalf!" Blue Toad yelled, joyouslly.
"No, you fool, I am not this "Gandalf"! Come with me, Fellowship!" the strange man bellowed, as a large bright-yellow beam engulfed the five of them. In seconds they found themselves in a small cottage, that must have belonged to the man. They all surrounded him, and he said, "sit". In unison, they followed, and the man began:
"I am Wyntly. I am a sorcerer from the Great North Peninsula. I have seen you and your amazing fighting abilities. I am here to issue a new mission that will take long. See, back in the day there was a king of a entire race. He was a pirate toad."
Blue Toad gasped.
"Yes. He was your great, great, great, great, great grandfather from hundreds of years ago. His name was the Gold Toad. He began the rebellion of toads that left on their own to the high seas. For without him, one of the Five would not exist. But prophecy says that if his death could have been delayed, another hero would have been born from him, possibly the ancestor of a sixth member of the Five. Your job is to delay his death, like I mentioned."
Luigi Simpson said, "But, you said he lived hundreds of years ago!"
"That is why we will rely on time travel."
-
"Time travel? We don't need no stinkin' time travel!" said Glorb rashly. "I'll just go up to that old fart and scare the (censored) outta him, that oughta do it!"
"NO! Wait!" said a mysterious female voice from behind Glorb. "Who are you?" asked LZR. "I am...Xsd'hyrthgh-tlia!" They all started at her. "Uh, better known as Xsd'hyrthgh-tlia Gahtliftglorpo'osnobeuf?" she added. They still stared.
"I'll call you...Lisa." said Glorb. "But my name is..." she began. "Who cares? As a member of the new Six Knights, you will be known as Lisa." he said. "But I'm not a decendant of King Toad!" replied Lisa. However, she soon realized that...uh, she was, as a big, awesome (though not as awesome as a H&K VP70 35mm) weapon floated before her! It was...
-
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I'm not gona let this thread die!
so not gona!
NEVER!
Guys, PLEASE START POSTING, or it will die soon!!!!!!!!!!!
-
Thank you!
Anyway, I guess the weapon was...
...a bat! However, the bat's molecular structure caused a fifth-dimension time warp to appear in a rift in the space time continuum, and the Five Knights were transported to another alternate universe!
-
But It was so strange, because they saw morlocks!
"hey look, its me!" TBT says. "me to!" Luigi S. says after. "uh oh... WE GOT WARPED TO THE PAST!!!" Masher screemes. They all gasped. "But... we can't let them see us, it might make us like... our own grandfather or something!" Glorb says. But then TBT says, "LOOK!" as Master Bread Hand apeard. but then...
-
Master Bread Hand was killed by Crazy Bread Hand.
"I remember this." Luigi Simpson laughed.
However, the younger five were getting beaten easily.
"We need to intervene... if they die, we die!" LZR exclaimed.
*OUT OF STORY: Yay for cliche plot twists.*
-
So Glorb thwacked his younger self on the head, and he passed out. "Aw, crap! I bruised like a peach back then!" said Glorb. But just then, Glorb's words passed through a wormhole that ha just opened up. The words traveled many lightyears until arriving at the planet SR388. One of the natives heard these words and, those words being the most offensing words to his species, he contacted the Intergalactic Federation Council, which declared a Level 9 thermonuclear strike against earth. The missiles, however, failed to arm, and just as they impacted on earth, a time warp opened, sending the Knights and their past selves into the year 2027 A.D., where the Knights were resistance fighters against the Terminators.
-
For now was when the Five had elegantly moved forward in their career to be The Five Knights of Time. For from now on, they would travel back and forward in time to stop evil from rearing its ugly head.
So in 2027, the Five slashed apart the Terminators with their lengendary weapons, until they were all gone. They wiped their brows, and, finishing that mission, opened another wormhole to Europe in the Reninance, around 1593, where a few thugs were beating up Shakespeare! For it was up to the Five to ward off the thugs, or else some of Shakespeare's work would never be finished! They began...
-
To beat the thugs one by one as Shakespear screamed like a girl.
"TAke a little of THIS!" cried LZR as he strummed his kick awesome guitar, the sound waves crashing through the earth and sending the cruel knights flying back.
"And a little of THIS!" cried TBT as he threw his emerald axe into the head of the other bully. Once the five knights had finished their defeat, Shakespear walked up to them in a huff.
"Thou is worthy of a thanks for might lips," he said.
"Er...yeah...thanks?" said Glorb, looking very confused.
"Thout knights shalt not be left with your hands withering without a object in thier presence," said Shakespear.
"Hey, listen buddy," said Luigi Simpson, "we don't speak freaky deaky french! Or, spanish... or whatever you are!"
"I think he said that he will give us some sort of reward for saving him," said TBT.
"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh," everyone said.
"Yeah," TBT said, "I took freaky deaky shakespear language in high school."
-
And that's how the Five were given the lost Shakespeare play "Hamlet II: Bloody Vengance".
"Once we get back from more missions, we are so selling that for millions of dollars." TBT said, after which, another giant wormhole split open in front of them, they were whisked away to another time.
When they got there, it was dark all around them. They seemed to be outdoors, though, because they could see the starry sky. They walked about, searching for some light. But, instead, they heard the shink of a sword, and once they got used to the light, they saw that they were in a giant temple from the Aztec times, where two high priests were dualing. What did the five have to do with this situation? They found out as soon as...
-
Glorb was suddenly dressed as a Hula dancer! "What the heck?" said Glorb. "Maybe we should stop messing with the space-time continuum." suggested LZR. "Never!" said Hula Glorb. The Five went over the the dueling priests, but they couldn't stop them. So LZR bonked one on the head with his guitar. "Another mission accomplished!" he said. Just as Glorb recovered the ancient Aztec comic book "Aqaqzletqa Qwqzequqla", they were whisked away to the year 1776, where the Declaration of Independence was being written...but one of the papers was a bomb!! But which one? The Knights rushed to the Founding Fathers' aid...
-
They looked at all the papers scattered everywhere, wondering which one was a bomb.
"What in the world are you?" asked Geroge Washington from behind.
"Hey, look you guys, it's George Washington!" said LZR.
"Oh, yeah! This is pretty cool," Masher replied.
"I'm still confused here, and my question has not been - OW!!!" cried George Washington, reaching for his mouth.
"What's wrong?!" all the knights cried at once.
"Nothing, nothing.... I just got a sliver in my gum from these darned wooden teeth..... but, what are you five doing here?!" asked Georgey inpatiently.
"WE're here to rescue you and the other framers!" said The Blue Toad.
"Rescue us???" said George Washington, "from what?"
-
"From a bomb!" said Glorb, taking off his Aztec hula dress. "What in heavens' name is a -" said George, just as a Terminator army blew through the wall! "What is this?" he asked, this time pulling out an MM-12 40mm rotary grenade launcher. As Glorb, the resident weapons expert, wondered where George could've gotten that in 1776, an HK (Hunter-Killer) tank droid plowed through the building, searching for George, who blew it up with a well-placed grenade shot. Just then, Paul Revere, aided by Butch Cassidy and Attila the Hun, rode by, warning that the Terminators were invading. "What is going on?" asked Glorb.
-
"I don't know, but if-" Luigi Simpson paused, and no-one knew why- until they saw the arrow sticking out of his chest.
"No!" LZR roared.
Suddenly, a black flame consumed LS. A loud roar emanted from the blaze, and, then, the flames died down. Blue Toad, Glorb, Masher and LZR looked at the place where the flames had been.
Luigi Simpson stood there, his armor looking stronger than ever. However, now, several large spikes were protruding from his back.
"Hey?" Glorb asked cautiously. "Are you okay?"
LS shrugged. "Yeah, I suppose so. But- what's happened to my armor?"
Everyone shrugged.
"So, LS-" Blue Toad began.
"Who the dukar is LS?" LS said. "I'm US. Ultima Shadow."
"Oookay... maybe we should keep battling?" LZR suggested, and they did.
-
"So why did you change your name?" asked Masher. Ultima Shadow was about to reply, when Glorb cut him short. "You see, our friend, Luigi Simpson, has now reached puberty, and is now a killing machine." he said. Just then, a Terminator sneaked up behind US, but it was quickly dispatched when it was impaled on one of US's spikes. "Wow, cool!" said LZR. "Actually, that wasn't on purpose" replied US. But just then, Glorb was hit by a bolt of lightning! A huge sphere engulfed him, and then it exploded! He emerged not as Glorb, but as...well, he was still Glorb. But the effect was cool.
-
"Uh... no, I just got hit in the chest by an arrow that by all means should've killed me. Nothing major like that or anything." Ultima Shadow told them.
-
Just then, a time warp opened up, and a Terminator stepped through. "Quick! If we jump in, we'll go back to the past!" said Glorb. "What?" asked Masher, although he only got out "Whaaaggh!" as they were transported to the year 2005 A.D., where they met a young fellow. LZR was about to ask him where they were, but it turns out that it was Luigi Simpson! Ultima Shadow, upon meeting his younger self, immediately became his own grandfather, and the universe turned inside-out!
-
"Wait a minute. This is becoming-" Ultima Shadow began, but he paused suddenly.
"Uh..." he muttered.
Everyone looked at Ultima Shadow- suddenly, he let out an unearthly roar, and black flames erupted around him.
"Pfft... DBZ ripoff." Glorb commented.
US roared once again- his eyes went from hazel to a blood-red colour, and he dashed at Blue Toad, punching him hard.
"My name is Ultimate Shadow Lord!" he bellowed. "I shall destroy you all, and my Shadow Clones will rule!"
A wormhole appeared, and out of it came Darkness the Hedgehog, Wings the Fox, and Scythe the Echidna.
"Shadow Clones, ATTACK!" he yelled, and USL and his clones rushed at the Four.
-
Glorb snorted heartily at the Sonic character rip-offs. Rummaging through his Glorbanthian Portable Crap Drawer, he found...Pink Glorb's Kill-You-5-Times Noodle! Put it was no ordinary Kill-You-5-Times Noodle - it was a die-cut, mirror-cast, double-sided, super-ultra-limited-edition Kill-You-5-Times Noodle! Glorb set the Noodle's dial to 3, and flung it at each of the creatures. He had destroyed the Clones, with 2 Kills to spare! But USL ran towards him, knocking him out. Just then, a voice called out. "Not so fast!" it said. It was Pink Glorb, Red Toad, Evil Masher, Aerosmithrocks and Suigi Limpson! The Fake Five and the Four Knights attacked USL in unison, but to no avail...but just then, another wormhole opened...one from the Video Game Dimension!
-
"That was my plan all along, foolish Four! Now, begone into the world of games! I cast thee!" USL shouted, shoving the remaining four into the wormhole.
Suddenly, they fell out... it was the exploding ship from Zero Wing!
"What happen?" the Captain asked.
"Someone has set us up the bomb." the Technician informed him.
"Wait... I know this part... we get signal!" Glorb exclaimed.
"Main screen turn on." the Captain ordered.
A figure zoomed into view... it was none other than Michael Jackson!
"How are you gentlemen?" MJ asked, as everyone gasped.
-
WOAH!!! man... while I was gone... this thread changed like crazy! time to do some POSTING!
"No..." Says the captain sarcasticly. "well uh... do you-" MJ says before being cut off by: *transmision lost...*
"Ughh... I think this is crazy enough!" says masher as sudenly the world starts colasping.
"GNIEID SI DLROW EHT !DOG YM HO" shouts Glorb in a freeky language.
"TAHW?!" asks LZR. "!!EID ANOG LLA ERA EW" Screams TBT as the world around them slowly turns inside out...
-
Suddenly, Mew from Pokemon appeared.
"Ooh! A Pokemon! Misty, go!" Ash shouted, throwing Misty at Mew, but missing and hitting Masher.
"This is weird!" said Masher, who was now a pile of buttery mashed potatoes.
"I'll save the day!" Superman yelled, ramming into the floor.
"My m1nd hur75!!1111!11!!!!!1!" Glorb exclaimed, his speech turned into leet.
Another wormhole opened, and Barney reappeared!
"Oh, no..." Blue Toad said to LZR, who was floating around singing the Canadian National Anthem.
"I love you, you love me, we're a happy family!" Barney yelled.
Behind him came the four Teletubbies, until Homer bit the aerial off one, causing it to swear in various languages.
"This is turning into Mario Nonsense!" Sonic shouted while battling his nemesis, none other than Dr. Evo Broccoliman.
"It's the apocalypse!" Blue Toad yelled, as he was turned into an alarm clock.
"It's tasty!" Homer bellowed.
Homer had taken a bite out of the fabric of space and time, causing a rift. Everything got sucked in, and, suddenly, Glorb, LZR, Blue Toad and Masher fell. Opening their eyes, they saw...
-
nothing.
-
Absolutely Nothing
-
"Yay." LZR said, when, suddenly, he grew pointy ears.
"Cool ears." Masher commented.
"A name change is in order! Now I'm known as... Hyrulian!" LZR yelled.
"Cool." Blue Toad muttered.
"I'm hungry..." whined Homer.
"Homer's joined us! Awesome!" Glorb laughed.
"Hmph. Pests. I almost destroy the universe, yet you still persist on stopping me? You should stop trying." a voice said from above.
To their surprise, Ultimate Shadow Lord descended.
"Back, you traitor?" Blue Toad hissed.
USL boomed with laughter.
"Why would I return to the five when I already have all I desire?" he said scathingly.
"What?" Hyrulian exclaimed.
"D'oh!" Homer cursed.
"All you have fought for has been lost. Can't you see? Armageddon has come and gone! You have lost, and are forever confined to this white wasteland! All your friends have been killed... yet you continue to fight? Sickening."
"Sickening? Us? You betrayed us!" Glorb bellowed.
"True," USL laughed. "But, I'd rather be evil than dead. Ultima Finisher!"
In a flash of white light, USL rushed forward, smashing all five into the ground.
"You cannot win! Raging Flame!" USL roared.
A raging fire rushed at the five, and they all jumped away.
"Insects! Bow before my power! EXPLODER 3!" USL bellowed, clapping his hands together as an explosion eminated, rushing towards the five.
It hit all of them hard, sending them reeling.
"Ugh... we must fight back!" Blue Toad said weakly.
"I will never let you escape." USL snarled.
"Too chicken? Let us fight you fairly!" Glorb asked defiantly.
"You are not worthy of my time... my kingdom shall defeat you."
He opened a portal, and jumped through- the remaining Five followed him, knowing that their friend was beyond saving.
-
Just then, Homer exploded! "That was the last straw..." said Masher, transforming into a leg! "Wha?" asked Glorb, just as became a big robot head. As Homer's charred corpse became a leg, TBT spontaneously became a pair of arms, and LZR, or Hyrulian, or whatever the crap his name is now, became another leg! Masher transformed into a big torso, and the Five fused together to form Voltron, but with three legs! However, due to copyrights, Voltron was changed to Foltron, but the Five were still strong. They where suddenly warped to the Death Star, where USL was waiting. "Fools!" screamed USL, just as he hurled a fireball at them. Foltron dodged it, and pulled out his Foltron Sword! A cataclysmic battle was about to occur, one that would shake the new universe to its very core.
-
"Hmph. Darkness! Scythe! Wings! Smasher! Dark Hedgehog Team, Assemble!" USL roared.
Darkness the Hedgehog, who was being followed by a lovestruck Smasher Fox (Amy) and a sneering Scythe the Echidna, not to mention a heavily- armed Wings.
"Meet the Five Force!" Darkness laughed.
"To protect the world from devastation!" Smasher announced.
"Wrong fic." Scythe sneered.
"Uh... Five Force, strike!" USL shouted.
-
One of the little weird guys attacked Foltron's flank. "Little weird guy at 3-o'clock!" said Glorb to TBT. Masher sent a lethal mental shockwave at Smasher, while Glorb used his Kill-You-5-Times Noodle's remaining 2 kills to defeat Darkness and Scythe. Foltron swung his Flotron sword at the last two little weird guys, leaving Ultimate Shadow Lord invulnerable! But just then, a temporal-dampening spatial-displacement chronosingularity sphere opened up, transporting Foltron and USL into Battle World! Some random comic book villain (in this case, Venom) attacked them both!
-
"Agh!" Foltron yelled, as it was hit by Venom.
"You're next." Venom sneered at USL.
Venom shot web, but USL merely sliced it away with a short sword, yawning. Venom charged him, only to have USL punch him in the stomach. He fell to the ground.
"I'll let you join me if you finish them." USL boomed, backing away.
Venom smiled, preparing to take on Foltron.
(I will become good again some time... very soon, actually)
-
"Ha Ha Ha... Fools! You will never defeat me!" Screamed USL
"Hmmm..." Though Foltron outloud "We could go back in time before Luigi Simpson became crazy! or... whatever He likes to call himself..."
"Die!" shouted Venom as he rushed at Foltron
"WAIT!" Screamed USL. "I love this song!" USL shouted as the Shadow The Hedgehog theme (I AM ALL ME) came on a speaker that appeared out of nowhere
"..."
(I'm a big Shodow The Hedgehog fan :D)
-
"Die, scum!" a voice yelled.
It was USL's friend- she jumped at USL, brandishing a sword. Foltron gaped.
"Stay out of this, weakling." USL laughed, pulling out a rather evil-looking sword.
"Weakling?" she cried in anger, holding the sword firmly and swinging it.
USL blocked her attack perfectly- but did not notice his sword was beginning to melt. He swung it again, but the girl ducked, taking another swipe. USL leapt back, waiting for a time to strike.
"You continue to fight... you'll never make it out alive." USL hissed.
Suddenly, he swung one last time- the sword broke.
"What?" he yelled outraged. "This cannot be!"
His friend sneered.
"Give up?" she asked confidently.
"NEVER!" USL roared. "Apocalypse Punch!"
He leapt into the air a few metres, bringing a huge fist back and, then, he thrust it forward.
"Ha!" she yelled, dodging.
USL landed, growling- but he was surprised when he saw the sword she weilded.
"Hey, wait... that's the Sword of Light..." USL croaked.
"Correct." she laughed.
"Won't make a difference." he replied gruffly. "Energy Fist!"
He darted towards her, but she held her sword firmly, smiling slightly at Foltron, who was cheering, and Venom, who was cursing. Just as he came, she stabbed quickly, her sword piercing USL's skin.
"Aaaaaaaaaagh!" he screeched, collapsing to the ground.
-
Just then, another temporal-dampening spatial-displacement chronosingularity sphere opened up, and everything turned back to normal...The Death Star turned into a lush forest, USL became Ultima Shadow, who in turn became Luigi Simpson, and Foltron changed back into Masher, Hyrulian, Glorb and TBT. Venom changed back into Eddie Brock, who was then hit by a tractor. The reunited Five had a good laugh about this, and gave each other a high-five. "But one thing," said Glorb, "who was that girl who defeated you?" Luigi Simpson looked back at Glorb. "Oh, just an old friend..." he answered mysteriously.
"No, seriously, who was it?" asked Glorb. TBT butted in. "Hey, let's all go to Burger King!" he said. And thus began the prelude to a new saga, one the shall be forever afterwards be knows as...The Burger King Wars.
-
Dun Dun Duuuun
Season 2 any body? well, more like season 3... or 4...
-
C'mon, everybody! Buy the Evil Bread Season 4 DVD!
-
Okay, a little notice... here is my priority list right now in terms of work, stories and stuff.
1. Major assignment
2. Minor assignment for Chemistry
3. Minor assignment for Geography
=4 Fanfic about dragons
=4 Fanfic about Pokemon
=4 Rewrite Mario & TMK Unite
=4 Write Evil Bread novelization
So, hopefully, I can try and write Evil Bread as a really long novel! :)
-
Holy Crumbles Batman!
Thats a good idea!!
-
Well, uh, I hate to burst your bubble, US, but I'm already writing The Evil Bread as a novel, by taking the sentences and recording them in a Microsoft Word document. I'm also dividing the story into chapters to make like a novel, and have edited the spelling mistakes, etc. In addition, the beginning of the story, which starred Mario, Luigi, Toad and Peach now stars the Five (or, as they were back then, Four) Knights (namely, us). I've also added what I call "editor's commentary", where I add little comments eto the story every now and then. There will also be a commentary-less edition, too.
So, I've already been working on it, which means that you'll have one less thing to worry about. But if you meant writing an independant spinoff-type novel, then I encourage you to do it. This means that, some day, there will be an Evil Bread novel (or two), ongoing story, AND a sprite comic, thanks to Masher. But, *ahem*, when are we going back to the story? I forgot where we were...
-
I believe the Burger King Wars were beginning.
Oh, and... do you think an Evil Bread MMORPG would be a good idea? It would be set after the times of the original Five, and it would be hosted on... Bravenet! :D
-
RADICAL!!
Ahem.
So, the Burger King Wars were beginning.
As the reunited Five walked towards the fast food establishment to order some Whoppers, US was suddenly punched! He quickly turned his head. It was none other than...Richard Simmons! Ultima Shadow was about to fire some big flashy thing at the fitness instructor, but The Blue Toad stopped him. "US, don't you know that's GENE Simmons, not RICHARD Simmons?" he asked. But it was too late, for Gene pulled out his guitar with his tongue. However, Hyrulian jumped in between the two, and he pulled out his guitar. Using nothing more than the power of rock, he summoned a level 2 fuzzy pudding. "Oh, this is not good" said Masher insightfully. Glorb was about to use the restroom, when it was suddenly blocked by Richard Simmons! US knew this was his chance, and he shot a fireball at Simmons. He exploded instantly, but there was still the matter of the battle between Hyrulian and Gene.
-
Yes, this is both a (small) bump and a double post, but my story is dying! But I can't think of a new story direction, so help!
-
Heh, I was thinking of starting an Evil Bread site. I asked the ZP admins... so far, 2 votes for Yes, 1 for Dunno, 0 for No. The Five admins will be the classic Five- Me, Glorb, TBT, Hyrulian and Masher. Do you think it's a good idea? I'll have to plan it, it'll be hard to put into MMORPG form.
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That would be cool. Players could choose to be a Glorb (the species) a human, an elf (like Hrulian is...I think), a frog, etc.
Anyway, on with the story...
Gene Simmons attacked Ultima Shadow, forcing him on the ground with his huge tongue. But just then, Glorb, who is so awesome and cool (:)), defended US using a board with a nail through it. But just then, Gene’s head opened up, and a tiny midget alien popped out! Richard Simmons’ head did the same thing, and they both floated away. “Well, that was weird” said Masher. Then they ordered some Whoppers.
-
But then sudenly the story started to get less popular, so every body used a phonex down on it, Thus reviveing it, and makeing it more popular >.> <.<
-
Suddenly, the side of the restaurant blew away. Everyone gasped.
"It's Ronald McDonald and his three less-popular friends!" TBT shouted.
"I have feelings, ya know, jerk!" Grimace grimaced.
"Well... it looks like this fight just got interesting!" a voice yelled.
Standing at the entrance was none other than... Puppernickel!
"Get ready to die!" another person shouted.
A figure leapt from the roof- it was Ultimate Shadow Lord, and his Darkness Hedgehog team- Scythe, Chopper, Smasher and Darkness!
"Huh? I thought you were him!" Glorb looked at US.
"Ah, plot hole. Way to go, stupid authors!" US cursed, as a bucket of fish fell on his head.
"Hey, don't mess with me, Ultima Shadow!" someone else shouted.
"Who are you? And how come you sound so much like me? As if I don't have enough character variations as it is..." US snorted.
"Uh... carry on, Mr. Ultima Shadow Guy!" the guy stuttered, disappearing into a giant plot hole.
"Wow, this is boring... let's battle!"
And so, The Blue Toad, Glorb, Masher, Hyrulian (random name change! :D), Ultima Shadow, Ultimate Shadow Lord, Darkness, Scythe, Chopper, Smasher, Puppernickel, Ronald McDonald, Grimace, Hamburgler and Birdie began to battle!
-
Glorb went over to Ronald, Grimace and Birdie. “Hey, why are you three here? This is Burger King; you’re from McDonalds!” yelled Glorb over the din of the battle, simultaneously dodging one of Masher’s stray psychic blasts. “We were kicked out of McDonalds because they said we were too old-fashioned!” answered Birdie. “I left because I was convicted of felony grand theft auto” said Ronald. “What about you?” asked Glorb to Hamburglar. “I’m here to steal the Secret Sauce recipe!” said Hamburglar, who was suddenly hit by one of US’s fancy flashy light thingies, and died. “Oh, sorry!” apologized US. “S’alright,” responded Ronald.
-
"So wait a minute," said Hyrulian, "you guys have been forced from your home?"
"Yeah," said Grimmace in a sad like tone, "we got no place else to go!!!"
Before anyone could say anything, something suddenly randomly happened that was so strange that everyone had to scream!
"Ahhhhhhhhh!" cried Glorb.
"Auurrrrggh!" cried The Blue Toad.
"Eeeeehhhhh!" cried Masher.
"Gaahhhhhhhh!" cried Hyrulian.
"I'd scream but I'm eating a hamburger and I don't want the crumbs to go everywhere," said US.
Above the Burger King establishment was an enormous space ship! It was amazingly built, with powerful-looking jet engines that shot out streams of orange fire, and little bleeping lights that simply gave a sort of alien like effect.
"Who is it?" asked The Blue Toad, sheilding his eyes from the brightness of the mysterious ship in the blackness of night.
"I dunno, but I'm leaving!!!" cried Ronald McDonald, running away with his awkward "friends".
-
Puppernickel looked up indignantly.
"You stole my thunder, now you must pay!" he roared, a yellow aura surrounding him.
Suddenly, a long mane of blonde hair erupted from his head, and he threw a Pokeball.
"Go, Espeon!" Puppernickel roared. "Psychic!"
Espeon hissed, using Psychic power to destroy the ship.
"Hey, nice hairdo." US remarked sarcastically.
"I'm a Super Saiyan, duh." Super Saiyan Puppernickel laughed.
"Wow, he managed to rip off two anime series in one shot." TBT commentated.
"Heh... go, Eevee!" US roared, throwing a Great Ball.
"Hey, Ultima, stop flooding this story with Pokemon!" Hyrulian snarled, as US returned Eevee, muttering obscenities udner his breath.
"Kame..." SSJP chanted.
"Quickly, regroup and attack!" Glorb shouted, as the Five leapt into battle once again.
-
SSJP began to finish his word: “h...” Glorb pulled out his Elvis-signed gold H&K VP70 9mm and fired it at the “a” just as SSJP uttered it, breaking the chain and causing a rift in the DragonBall Z universe! That world collapsed, and the show was instantly cancelled. SSJP powered down, and they all cheered (the good guys at least). Hyrulian’s level 2 fuzzy pudding knew this was his chance, and gnawed off Pumpernickel’s face. “Yay!” exclaimed Hyrulian, “Come ‘ere, boy!” Fuzzy ran over to Hyrulian. But there was still the matter of USL and his gang of rip-offs... Scythe pulled out a tub of Play-Doh! He flung it at Glorb, who vomited because he was allergic to Play-Doh. But Fuzzy Pudding protected him, and ran in front of the Play-Doh bullets in slow motion, taking the bullets for all the Five Knights, except Ultima Shadow, who was in the bathroom. “NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” exclaimed Hyrulian, who had just lost his pet Level 2 Fuzzy Pudding forever.
-
"Well... this is interesting..." a voice mumbled.
Darkness gasped as he looked up.
"Doctor Vio Celeryguy! Noir the Bat! Light the Hedgehog! Huh?" Chopper gasped, as Scythe swore loudly.
"We must put aside our differences. It is painfully obvious that these four people will stop us from stealign hamburgers. I propose a truce." Celeryguy proposed.
Darkness nodded- now, it looked grim. Hyrulian, Masher, Glorb and Blue Toad against Darkness, Smasher, Scythe, Chopper, Noir, Celeryguy and Light. It would be close.
-
“You fools!” yelled a disembodied voice, again (again). A figure jumped down from the ceiling... it was Disembodied Voice Guy! Just then, Rip-off McClone the RipoffHog magically entered the story via wormhole! But the two stared at the 800-or-so characters huddled in the Burger King, fighting, and then left. But only so many transdimensional portals can open before the fabric of space is destroyed...so it was. But Glorb, being as how he’s so rad, opened up a portal to White Castle, which had crappy food, but it couldn’t be that crappy, ‘cause they had, like, a movie about it, except it was crappy, but that didn’t really matter then, because Celeryguy was ordering his minions on the Five Knights! The Five entered White Castle, and everything was okay...except they left the door open! “Where’s US?” asked Masher. The Blue Toad began to answer: “I think he’s...oh, no! We left him in the Burger King bathroom!” They knew that US didn’t have a chance against the germs unless he used his secret power, a power so secret even he didn’t know about it. Heck, even I don’t know about it, and I’m the one pulling all this stuff out of my butt.
I notice that I, US, Blue Toad and Masher are the only ones on here now...we should get more members to contribute, maybe.
-
*sniff* Saddly... This Is My Last Post In These Fourms... You May Once Of Twice See Me Ramble About, But... Well, It's Just That I Needed To Move On, Find New Things To Do... Ect... Ect... Ect... Ok.
Well, I Hope My Super Bump Was Able To Revive Our Legendary Story...
Ok, enough of the stupid drematic pharaghraphs, The thing is, I'm leaveing, And you MIGHT catch me hanging around. But dont ask me stupid questions like... "ARE WE STILL GONA DO THE SPRITE COMIC?" Or... "YOU STUPID PEICE OF PUMPERNICKLE, WHY DID YOU LEAVE!?" Ok, Well... This Is My Finnal Post, Ok... Cya
-
Oh no! WHY? Worst thing is, I discovered that post about ten days after it was posted...well, as Shakes-peer once said, "The show must go on!"
Suddenly, an unseen thing came down and cut down Masher with one light-saber swipe. The Blue Toad cam rushing over. "NOOOOOOOOOO!" he shouted. "WHY?" "I'm not dead yet," replied Masher. TBT stopped, "Oh. I see. Well, we should get you to a hospital!" Masher looked at him like a fish looks when he's being eaten - dead. "It's okay, guys...You can go on as the Four Knights...Be brave! Ow! Sh*t!" he bumped his head on a rafter on the ceiling. "Goodbye!" Just then, Masher the Friendly Ghost flew up and disappeared. Glorb looked at his body. "What are we gonna do with his body?" he asked. Ultima Shadow then did a little jig, and they were all transported to a big boat. Then TBT threw Masher of the side. "TOAD!" screamed Hyrulian, "Why did you do that?" TBT looked at him and replied, "That's what he would've wanted." Then he bought a drink.
The next day, the Four Knights were watching TV. "This just in - Glorb's Heaven has been cancelled..." "WHAT?" inquired Glorb. "...and replaced with Masher's Heaven, starring Masher." "You see, guys? Masher's not really dead. He's just in primetime." said Hyrulian. "What's the difference?" asked Glorb. They all had a good laugh. Just then, Hyrulian's pet fuzzy pudding jumped up on his lap. "Well, looks like we have a new member of the Four Knights!" said Hyrulian.
-
Suddenly, the
Four Five Knights blacked out. Some time later, they woke up in the middle of an enormous, pearl-white room with an altar. Standing on the altar was none other than The Chef. "I suppose you are all wondering why I summoned you here" said The Chef.
-
Glorb stood up and dusted himself off. "The Chef? I mean, The Chef! I knew it was you!" he said. The Chef looked at him. "No you didn't." Glorb sighed. "It was supposed to be DRAMA. Anyway, why are we here?" The Chef pulled out a pointer as a large screen came down on the wall vehind the altar. A map appeared on the screen. "I need you to go on a mission." said The Chef, "You see, this small island..." he pointed to a small island on the map, "is Bread Island. Pumpernickel has set up a base of operations there, where he plans to kidnap George Bush and use his DNA to fuel a supersonic death ray. Said death ray is currently in near-earth orbit, poised to intercept the DNA and, shortly thereafter, send a death beam that will destroy all the major cities of earth. That is, unless his demands are met." The Blue Toad stood up. "What are his demands?" he asked. "Sixteen dollars." answered The Chef. "That's not so high" said Hyrulian. The Chef faced him. "Yes, but it's in Chuck E. Cheese's tickets. We can't beat that game with the basketball enough times to get it; we keep running out of quarters! So, your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to infiltrate Pumpernickel's base and disable the DNA-draining mechanism before the ray is powered. Saving George Bush is optional. The Sonic Jet is waiting for you." Glorb looked arounds. "What Sonic Jet?" he asked. Suddenly, the Five (including Fuzzy Pudding) were suited in secret agent suits, and the floor opened up, shooting them down into a large cavern...
-
Where the Professor Hector and ROB were waiting with the Sonic Jet all ready to be boarded.
"Ready?", asked Hector. "Sure", said Glorb."Wait!", yelled Ultima Shadow, "Who's gotta get to fly the Jet?".
-
“I will!” said Hyrulian. “Good,” replied The Chef through their radio watches. “Now, you’ll all need silenced pistols.” ROB opened up and gave them all Beretta 92s with silencers attached. “It’s okay,” said Glorb, “I’ve got my VP95!” He pulled out his gun. “But that’s incredibly loud.” Said The Chef. “It’s okay.” Replied Glorb. So the Knights, however many there were, entered the jet, and soon thy were flying in the sky. “Hey, I can see the GameStop!” said The Blue Toad, “Their prices suck!” He opened a window and tossed a rock at the building, which made it explode.
-
After a few hours they arrived at the island. The Chef contacted them: "Okay, now activate stealth mode so your aren't --" Suddenly, the message cut off as the jet was struck by a missile. "Ah! What was that?" asked Glorb. "A missile, or some other missly thing!" said Hyrulian. They crashed, but got out okay. However, some guards came over to investigate...
-
a mysterious purple goop. They looked up and saw Spongebob with Bowser Jr.'s brush. "Bwaahahahahahahaaaa!!! Ah gots ya now!" he screamed with a Southern accent.
-
“Something’s wrong!” said Glorb, “I didn’t know Bowser Jr. really existed...or had a Southern drawl!” Suddenly, the guards laughed and disappeared, and the ground buckled underneath them. “It’s a trap!” said Ultima Shadow. They fell down, and were knocked out...
The four woke up in a large chamber, tied to a big pole thingy hanging from the ceiling. Just then, a wall turned into a large screen, and Pumpernickel appeared. “How are you gentlemen! All your base are belong—“ Glorb cut him off, “Enough with the Zero Wing Jokes.” Pumpernickel sighed, then started over: “You seem to be preoccupied, gentlemen. However, you will soon...not...be preoccupied once you’ve been eaten by the NUCLEAR CRABS!” The floor opened up, revealing a small moat of large crabs, glowing a healthy nuclear green. “You fiend!” exclaimed TBT. “Silence!” shot back Pumpernickel, “Now, henchmen, lower the unnecessarily time-consuming thing-lowering mechanism as I go pay a visit to the President. I don’t think he’ll mind having his DNA removed! To fuel my death ray! In space! Poised to destroy the world! Hahahahahahaha*hack* hahaha!”
The pole thingy began to lower. One of the four had to quickly do something fast, and in a hurry. The safety of the world depended on it!
-
Just then... The Chef jumped in and saved the Five Knights.
-
"Cool!" Ultima Shadow yelled. (:P)
-
"The Chef?" said Glorb, "Why did you save us? I thought you were confined to a wheelchair after the war!" "What?" said Chef. "Nothing, I just like making stuff up. Let's get to the President!"
The Four Knights Plus Chef ran down a hall and were confronted by guards! "Looks like this is it..." said Ultima Shadow. However, one of the guards took off his disguise...it was Queen Sapphira! "What the crap?" said Blue Toad. However, she took off her disguise...it was Fuzzy Pudding! "Yeah!" everybody cheered. They got to the satellite, but Pumpernickel was there. "HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHA! You fools!” he said.
However, Glorb shot him, and the Four Plus Chef run up to the SatelLaser and stopped the DNA-sucking mechanism. The earth was saved! However, the DNA hose latched onto Hyrulian, which somehow caused the Four Plus Chef and Fuzzy Pudding to be transported to the Wild West!
The FPCAFP fell down. Chef looked up and saw a sign. It said, "FORT ROSWELL, NEW MEXICO, 1882". The Chef stood up. "Holy crap, we're in Roswell, but in the Wild West!" How would our heroes escape this mess? Tune in next week!
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This episode ofThe Evil Bread brought to you by:
Paul's Perfect Prune Juice
"It makes you go poop"
-
Welcome back to The Evil Bread.
Suddenly, a cowboy came out of nowhere and helped up the six. "Well boy howdy, ain't this the dern strangest thing I reckon I ever did see. A green fella, a chef, a blue toadstooly-lookin' thing, an elf, a guy in armor..." Ultima Shadow cut in: "I'm Ultima Shadow!" There was a pause. "Shore ya are; now, where was ah? Oh yeah, and a fuzzy puddin' lookin' thing. But mah mamma always told me never to judge a book by its cover. How's about I see you folks over to the Inn?" The six followed. However, The Chef's attention was momentarily diverted by an object in the sky. The heat and brightness of the sun made him look away quickly, but it looked like a UFO...
-
Little did The Chef know, that the UFO was really a spaceship being driven by Jupiterians bent on taking over all of Cleveland! :-O
-
"AAH!" yelled some random guy.
"Okay, let's fight them off!" Hyrulian roared, as they all pulled out weapons.
The Jupiterians shot laser beams, but they were easily deflected. Meanwhile, Ultima Shadow, The Chef, Glorb, Hyrulian and the Blue Toad attacked as one, easily destroying the Jupiterian ship.
"That was easy." The Chef laughed, as, suddenly, 10000000000000000000000000000000000 more ships arrived.
The Chef stopped laughing.
-
"Hey, I have an idea." said The Chef.
"What is it?" said Glorb.
"RUN!!"
-
The Knights ran and ran until they got inside the Buck-Tooth Saloon. Some of the Jupiterians ran in, but the bartender killed them with his rifle. Just then, a giant spaceship flew down and demolished the front half of the saloon. A figure stepped out...it was Pink Glorb! “HAHAHA! You fools! You six are even bigger fools than I ever imagined! The whole DNA thing, the laser, the satellite, even Pumpernickel himself were all made up by me!” Glorb was shocked. “No way! How could you? You engineered everything up to this point?”
“Actually, no. The whole thing with the Burger King Wars I never counted on. Perhaps I underestimated you six...not really. Now prepare, for I am about to unleash DOOM upon you!! Ha!” Pink Glorb summoned a giant ten-story-tall mech, brandishing a killer banana, then disappeared. The Mech held his banana high over his head, ready to attack. What ever were the Six to do now?
-
Just then, Donkey Kong appeared, but he was ten stories tall and very hungry...
-
Donkey Kong tackled the robot, which fell backwards. The banana flipped in mid-air until Giga Bowser grabbed it!
"Could this get any more complicated?" Hyrulian said in awe.
"Actually... look to your right. And, uh... your left." The Blue Toad gulped.
They did not want to look, but look they did- runnign towards them were a giant Wario, giant Barney and giant Bugs Bunny!
-
Pink Glorb reappeared in front of Glorb. "Glorb, I challenge you to a duel! We shall fight on the planet Monkey!" Glorb looked at her funny. "Planet Monkey? Whay's it called--herk!" Suddenly, he and PG were transported to a large metallic sphere. "Choose your weapon!" said Pink Glorb, pulling out a large axe with a lot of blades all over it. Glorb looked at the selection, then pulled out a large sword. Pink Glorb let out a battle cry and ran towards Glorb, who dodged. "Hahaha! You can never defeat me!" she said. Suddenly, Glorb's radio watch beeped; it was the Chef! "Glorb, listen! Pink Glorb's weakness is her new Kill-You-Ten-Times Noodle. If you take the noodle and use it against her, you'll be able to kill her - ten times!" Glorb thought. It might just be crazy enough to work.
-
Meanwhile, back on Earth, The Chef, Hyrulean, The Blue Toad, Ultima Shadow and Fuzzy Pudding were trying to assist Giant Bugs Bunny in the battle against Giant Wario and at the same time ward off Giant Basrney.
-
"GAH!" cried Hyrulian, "Where's the plot? WHERE'S THE PLOT?!?!"
Suddenly (just as giant Wario was about to sit on all of them) The Chef, Hyrulian, The Blue Toad, Ultima Shadow, and the strange little Fuzzy Pudding were all cast over by a bright beam of light that emitted from one of the many spaceships. They were instantly transported into a strange metallic chamber, looking totally futuristic and awesome.
"Woah!" said Ultima Shadow, "where are we?"
"I'm not sure," The Blue Toad replied.
Just then, a voice spoke over an unidentified intercom system!: "The fight of the Glorbs will be held in room 43, the fight of the Glorbs will be held in room 43."
-
"Great." said The Chef in a srcastic manner. "Now we have to watch Glorb possibly get killed by his doppelganger."
-
"And without popcorn!" Ultima Shadow cried.
"You mean popcorn is more important than your friend's life?" Hyrulian said incredulously.
"I was just trying to lighten the situation!" Ulitma Shadow muttered in reply.
Suddenly, a booming voice... boomed... towards the Knights minus Glorb!
"YOU DARE NOT TAKE POPCORN SERIOUSLY?!?" the voice yelled.
"Who are you?" The Blue Toad asked, readying his axe.
"I am the Cookie Monster's cousin! My name is the Popcorn Monster! Now, enough chat. You must die!"
The Popcorn Monster leapt into the air, then came crashing down to earth, sending shockwaves in all directions. The Knights were unable to dodge, and were thrown backwards.
"He's too powerful!" exclaimed The Chef.
"We've gotta get past him to get to Glorb! We'll defeat him!" Hyrulian roared.
The Knights got up again, preparing to fight.
-
Meanwhile back at the planet Monkey, Pink Glorb had wounded Glorb! Somehow! She raised the giant thing over Glorb’s head, ready to attack...”Any last words, Glorb?” she mocked. Glorb grinned looking at her KY5TN. “Yeah. You lose!” He attacked the Noodle...and nothing happened. Pink Glorb looked puzzled for a second. Glorb was irritated. “Chef, you said the Noodle was her weakness!” The CommuniWatch turned on: “Glorb, I can’t talk now! We’re being attacked by the Popcorn Monster!”
Back at Earth, the Knights minus Glorb were trying to fight the Monster, but no avail. Suddenly, Masher’s ghost appeared! “You guys!” he said spookily, “I am the ghost of Masher. Take this fish, it will help you…” he disappeared, leaving the Knights with a greasy fish on the ground. Ultima Shadow looked at the air. “So long, and thanks for all the fish!” he said.
-
OOC: And then, from a pillar of light emerged this thread. It had been revived!
The Popcorn Monster roared in fury, sending buttery-smelling shockwaves towards the Knights! They all dodged, and Ultima Shadow picked up the fish, hitting the Popcorn Monster with it. To his surprise, the monstrosity went flying through the air, and slammed into the wall.
"Wow." Hyrulian said in awe.
"Wow." The Blue Toad said in awe.
"Wow." The Chef said in awe.
"Wow." Ultima Shadow said in awe.
"Boo!" the Popcorn Monster hissed.
He got up, and fired popcorn at all of them. The Chef deflected it with his Spatula, but Hyrulian was hit. The Blue Toad chopped the projectile in half, but Ultima Shadow was nowhere to be seen.
"Ack... too tasty..." Hyrulian mumbled.
"Farewell, Knights!" the Popcorn Monster laughed, leaping into the air.
To their surprise, the Popcorn Monster expanded to fill the whole room for one heck of a body slam.
"Wow." Hyrulian said in awe.
"NOT THIS AGAIN!" Blue Toad yelled.
"Hey, stupid!" a voice yelled from above.
Standing on a platform above was none other than Ultima Shadow, smirking.
"You talking to me?" Popcorn Monster shouted, returning to former size and somehow hovering.
"Maybe I am!" Ultima Shadow retaliated, leaping from the platform and slamming the monster downwards with a powerful fish hit.
With a roar, the Popcorn Monster hit the ground, shaking it. When the dust cleared, Popcorn Monster was as flat as a pancake, and unconscious.
"w00t." Blue Toad sighed in relief.
The Chef got out his spatula, and threw the monster up and out of the room like a pancake. However, on the way out, the Popcorn Monster hit Ultima Shadow, carrying him further up into the sky!
-
Thanks for reviving this!
Suddenly, a great heat struck the Popcorn Monster, shooting a kernel into the air...right into Glorb's brain! "Oh no, what do we do?!" screamed Hyrulian. Then Ultima Shadow had an idea...but what is was he was not sure. Regardless, the Knights went into the satellite that just appeared. However, it was no ordinary satellite...
-
It was a satellite made of beef jerky!! It was about shoot a ray at the earth which would turn everything into jerked beef. "Only one person could be behind this..." said The Chef, ".....and that person is....."
-
"Me!" said The Chef. "But I didn't say that!" he said. Doing a quick double-take, The Chef realized that he was himself! "Noooooo!" he screamed, spiraling into madness. "Get ahold of yourself, Chef!!" said US, slapping him. Just then, Blue Toad rushed down the stairs that just appeared. "Come on! We'll escape!" he said. So they did.
But just then, Glorb was revived, but the kernel somehow flew into a can, which in turn hit Hyrulian, who ran into Glorb, who hit US, who fell into a large canyon. He landed on Billy Bob Thornton, who was the real mastermind.
But that was his plan all along...
-
"Haha!" cried Billy Bob, "So you've fallen for it!"
"OMG! Fallen for what?!?!" cried Glorb.
"My plan of mastery....my master plan. ^o^!!!"
"Yeah, okay, uh, you're just a tad strange..." US said as he dusted himself of after falling into the large canyon.
"No I'm not! I'm cool! Shut up!" And with those words said, Billy Bob flung himself randomly at The Chef, flailing his arms and screaming! Luckily, The Blue Toad accidentally tripped Mr. Thornton. He stumbled all the way over a cliff, where he was never heard from again.
"Bye, Bill," Hyrulian cried after him.
"Hark!" cried Glorb, "In the distance! Look at that!"
As all of the nights squinted through the blazing heat of the rocky canyons, they all peered upon the sight of a strange figure flying in the sky.
"Omg! It's Ronald McDonald, back again!" cried The Chef.
"Nope," US replied.
"Oh...well, then it must be that one evil frog back again!"
"No, not him either."
"Pumpernickel back again?"
"No..."
"Well then who's making reappearance, here?" asked The Chef.
"It's none other than Queen Sapphira! And she has a message for us," US replied.
-
"I regret to inform you, Five, but Glorb has been fatally injured by Pink Glorb. Five times." she informed them dully.
-
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!", shouted The Chef.
"Will he make it?", asked US.
-
Just then, there was a bright light...it was Glorb Xtra! "What's Glorb Xtra?" asked Blue Toad. Ultima Shadow looked at him. "No one said that out loud. That was the narration. You can't respond to that!" Just then, a look of terror came over Glorb's face. "No! That was a meta-reference!"
Soon, a stream of in-jokes stampeded over the mountain range, screaming battle cries like "Xyzzy!", "Exploding Barrels!" and "Farted a mighty fart!" Hyrulian opened up a ploy hole, and the Knights jumped in.
Suddenly, they stood before a large wall. "What's that?" asked The Chef. Strong Bad then appeared. "That, old chum, is the Fourth Wall." he said in an English accent. "I say, care for a spot of tea?"
But just then, a giant ball came out of nowhere and shattered the wall. "NOOO!!! The Fourth Wall!" screamed Strong Bad. The plot hole started collapsing, so the Knights went through the wall...into YOUR COMPUTER!
That's right, YOUR computer!
The one with the felt Mario stickers on the monitor!
-
"But my computer doesn't look like that!" shouted the reader.
"Then who's computer is it?" asked the narrator?
-
"It is my computer!" Shoputed a boy that stepped out of the shadows. It was a boy called Pink Lad! "now I have trapped your knights in my computer!" pink lad said. "the only way to rescue them is enter the computer and defeat my army of evil Breadoids!". Strong bad,the chef,ultima shadow,the blue toad and Hyrulian jumped into the computer to save the knights.
-
(The Chef, Ultima Shadow and Hyrulian are the knights)
So Strong Bad ended up having to save the knights all by his lonesome. Meanwhile, the knights were trying to fight their way inside-out.
-
Actually there are five knights. Glorb, Hyrulian, The Blue Toad (me), Ultima Shadow, and you, The Chef (taking the place of Masher).
"So, what are we supposed to do now?" asked Hyrulian as he scratched his head in confusion.
"I've got it!" cried The Chef, directing his finger into the air. "We'll crawl out of this computer from the megadrive!"
"Okay!" The Blue Toad confirmed, "But, what/where is the megadrive?"
-
"we can ask that virus over there for directions". Said the blue toad.
-
Hours later, the virus was still giving them directions. "Mmm..oh, okay. You see, you go down past the CPU, enter the RAM circuit, and take a left at Route 666. Over there's a fork in the road, and you take it. Well, actually, two forks, so it's like a four-way...uh, thing, except there's three branching...uh, things. Go down past the McDonalds, and into the alley, past that place where they found that guy's body and right next to the stack of cardboard boxes, and then climb the ladder over the 7-11, then under the boarder. Just don't let the police get ya." there was more than a long silence from the Knights. "O...kay. Thanks," said Glorb. So they followed the directions, but ended up lost. Just then, it started raining!
"Quick, let's go in that haunted-looking castle for shelter!" said the Blue Toad. "You know, the one near that guy wearing the hockey mask, bloody clothes and weilding a chainsaw. So the Knights went inside...
-
Inside, they saw a huge, grey grid, with some flags on it.
"What in the- what is this?" Hyrulian gasped.
"Has anyone here seen the first Harry Potter?" Blue Toad muttered.
"Yep," Ultima Shadow replied.
"You remember the giant wizard chess set?" Blue Toad asked.
"Yeah, that pwned!" Ultima Shadow laughed. "I remember the bit when-"
"Your point?" The Chef cut across him.
"It's a giant Minesweeper game," Blue Toad muttered, awed and in horror.
Everyone gasped as the door behind them shut.
-
"Okay, I think I know the strategy," said Glorb, stepping on a tile. "Okay, I got a two...that means I'll step on this one." Suddenly, Thousands of mines appeared, killing the Knights. Jut then, the game restarted.
"Cool, we respawned!" said Ultima Shadow. The Chef looked puzzled. "How are we supposed to win?! Everyone knows you can't win at Minesweeper." Just then, Hyrulian looked up. "I know! Anyone here seen WarGames?"
"No." said Glorb.
"No." replied US.
"Nope." said The Chef
"Uh-Uh" added Blue Toad.
"I do say, I don't believe so. Care for a spot of tea, old chap?" said Strong Bad.
"...Okay. But anyway, we can set the game to play itself!" So, using magic, or something, Hyrulian set the game to play by itself. The Knights clicked on the X just as the mines went off, killing Alternate Universe Strong Bad forever. They ran back over to the castle, where a large man, wearing a white coat, stood.
-
OOC: I've actually watched WarGames. xP
"I am... your Dentist!" the man roared.
"AAAH! No!" Ultima Shadow yelled, jumping into a plothole.
"Ultima!" Hyrulian shouted, but he was gone.
"Hey, cool," they heard his voice mutter.
"How'd you get out of the computer? Well, never mind... you're going down!" they heard Pink Lad say.
"And I'm going to rip out your teeth!" the Dentist shouted.
"What does a dentist have to do with computers?" TBT asked.
"Uh... bye!" The Dentist yelled, exploding.
"..." they ...ed in unison.
Suddenly, the Chef, Glorb, Hyrulian and the Blue Toad were warped to the most hard-to navigate place of all! THE MY DOCUMENTS FOLDER! *DUNDUNDUN*
~~~
Can Ultima Shadow beat Pink Lad? Can the rest of the Knights make it through the My Documents folder? Has Alternate Universe Strong Bad survived? Find out in the next episode of 'The Evil Bread'!
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Glorb looked around. "But I thought this was a... LINUX COMPUTER!" DUN DUNN DUUUUNNN!
"No it's not," replied Ultima, "It's a...MAC OSX COMPUTER!!!" DUUUUNNN DUUUUUNNN DUUUUUUNNNNNNN!!!
The Knights screamed as a giant one-button mouse began chasing them. "How much more nerd humor can we squeeze in here?" asked The Chef, out of breath. "Not a whole lot," replied The Chef's counterpart.
Suddenly, they all screeched to a halt. "You...again?" asked The Chef. "Yes, it is me, The Chef!" The Chef answered. Thinking quickly, The Chef grabbed his Hydrodynamic Spatula (with port and starboard attachments) and made mincmeat of The Chef. Sadly, it was himself! "It's okay, I'm still alive." said The Chef. The Knights all cheered, and were transported back to their gigantic trendy apartment in New York.
"Its' good to be back home." said Glorb. "Yes, back in our trendy New York apartment." said Hyrulian. Just then, something...happened!!
-
They turned into a jazz ensemble! Hyrulian suddenly had a beautiful alto saxophone, The Blue Toad was randomly equipped with a glossy trombone, Glorb was in possesion of a trumpet, Ultima Shadow had a bass cello, and The Chef was suddenly standing in front of a piano. They were also suddenly wearing black and had sunglasses on.
"Woah! We know how to play jazz now!" The Blue Toad said, stroking his new trombone.
"That's great! ...So, where exactly do we play these things?" asked Glorb as examined his trumpet curiosly.
"Where?! What are you talking about? We're in New York!" Hyrulian exclaimed.
-
The Jazz Knights played "When the Saints Come Marching In" as the crowd cheered. "Hooray for us!" said Hyrulian. However, Glorb realized something as he looked out the window...they were on a plane! "Agh! Snakes!" screamed Ultima as a ton of snakes slithered toward them. TBT grabbed an Anti-Snake Thing and began attacking the snakes. "I want these motherf**king snakes off the motherf**king plane!" said Samuel L. Jackson. "Whoah, whoah whoah. We're getting into that nonsense thing again." said Glorb. Just then, the snakes and the plane disappeared, and the Knights were back to normal...but BACK in TIME! The Blue Toad looked at his communicator watch. On it was The Blue Toad.
The grizzled future TBT began: "Knights, there is something wrong with the space-time continuum. zombies have taken over London in the year 1888!" he said. "Yeah, I know..." began present TBT, as the Victorian-era zombies began approaching. Future Glorb butted in. "Oh, cool, that's our past selves! I remember me back then...now we've got the PlayStation 5. Ha, I can't believe we thought the PS3 was cool."
-
C'mon, someone reply!
-
No. I absolutely will not reply! Anyway... I'm not replying, so...
A great roar came from overhead. The Knights looked upwards (all ten of them) and gasped, for the Popcorn Monster was back!
"I am back!" the Popcorn Monster yelled.
"Sort of obvious, don't you think?" Future Hyrulian muttered.
"...be quiet," a voice from behind mumbled.
Behind them stood the Darkness Hedgehog team!
"Stop introducing these ripoffs into the story, Ultima," Blue Toad groaned, glaring at US and his future self.
"He didn't introduce them, I did!" Gene Simmons shouted, and next to him was Richard Simmons, and both of their older forms.
Long story short... all of the old villains were back, as well as their older selves!
Can the Ten Knights defeat the many villains (and their older alter-egos)? Will there be a plot that will actually make sense? Who knows? We do, 'cos we rule. Find out on the next action-packed episode of Evil Bread!
-
Future Glorb looked at the five through the monitor screen. "I know who could've caused this...Future Pirate Cowboy Seventies Glorb!" Future Hyrulian gave him a strange look. "What are you babbling about this time, Glorb?" he said. Future Glorb looked up. "I dunno!! Wee-hoo! Weee-hehehe!" he screamed, spinning in his chair. Future Hyrulian sighed testily.
Back in London, the Five were up against the zombies, the Popcorn Monster, the Darkness Whatchama whatevers, Gene Simmons, Richard Simmons, Keith Richards, Pumpernickel the Great, Ronald McDonald, your mom, Ultimate Shadow Lord, Cthulhu, Hello Kitty, no tea, a thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is, a really whiz-bang PC, an Exploding barrel, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, Napolean Dynamite, Maddox, some phlegm, a partridge in a pear tree and my parents, Sinead O'Connor and Clint Eastwood.
-
"Wha? ...Wha??!" Pumpernickel murmured to himself as he looked around in a confused state at all the strange new villains. "Hey!" he cried, "All of you need to leave! I'm the real arch rival here!"
"Hey, you!" Richard Simmons cried, "I think you need to work off that anger!"
"What?! NO! Let me kill these knights, not you!" Pumpernickel ordered.
"Omigosh, shut up! We're all in this together ya @!#$!@!" Hello Kitty replied.
"Yeah, GOSH!" said Napolean Dynamite.
"Being the only villain here who makes sense, I believe I should work alone!" said the very smooth Pumpnickel.
"Hey, I make sense," spoke an offended Ultimate Shadow Lord.
"No you don't be quiet," Pumpernickel quickly responded.
"You know what?" cried Gene Simmons, "I wanna rock and roll all night! And party, every day!"
"YEAH!" all the villains (save Pumpernickel) cried.
"I say, if this "Lord Pumpernickel" wants to work alone, we let him!" cried Ronald McDonald.
"Yeah! Send him to the depths!" said(?) the Exploding Barrel.
"What?" Pumpernickel said as he hastily flew up into the air, his black cape bellowing behind him. "Hold on, now... lets not act without thinking, here..."
"ATTACK THAT !@##!!" cried Hello Kitty. With this, a raging wave of villains all attacked Lord Pumpernickel, sending him flying down to the earth in a flurry of fists.
"No!" Pumpernickel cried, reaching for his sword only to find his hand suddenly pecked at by a partridge, which was once in a pear tree. "NOOOO!!!"
Finding all the villains now distracted, the knights made a run for it!
-
"Listen, past me! Remember when you saved George Washington from the Terminators? Well, they're back, along with the zombies and all the other villians! However, they're currently in England in 1888, fighting with all the other villians. But watch out; if they all came through a time portal at once, the results would be catastrophic, like...like..."
Future Glorb piped up. "Like crossing the streams?"
There was a pause. Future TBT sighed.
"Fine, like crossing the streams." Future Glorb continued babbling. "Man, is that what I'll be like in the future?" asked Present Glorb.
-
Sorry for the bump, but can someone revive this? I'm reluctant to double-post, so I never added another part of the story.
-
You just revived it. xD
"Yes," Future Glorb replied.
"Hey! I couldn't help but overhear your predicament, and I want to help out."
All of the knights gasped. Standing in front them was Ultimate Shadow Lord and his Darkness Hedgehog team!
"I thought you were pure evil?" Hyrulian asked.
"I am... I just want to become the most powerful villain. By destroying the rest of the villains, I can be exactly that."
The Knights thought hard. Was Ultimate Shadow Lord trustworthy?
"I don't think he's trustworthy," Glorb muttered.
"Well, the real Ultima Shadow stole my ice cream, so he's not exactly trustworthy either," muttered TBT.
"Thanks a lot," US mumbled angrily. "Are you saying I'm not trustworthy and my evil version is?"
"Pretty much," Future Hyrulian replied.
"Okay, it sounds like a plan," US laughed.
-
“So it is,” replied USL, in that tone of voice that signaled a long and boring lecture on something. “Let’s start planning.” And at this, the rest of the Knights groaned wearily.
Ultimate Shadow Lord pulled out a stick and pointed at a chart. “This”, he said, pointing at a few stick figures, “is us. Currently, we are numbered fourteen, counting you five, your future counterparts, and my team.” He then pointed to what looked like a thousand stick figures in a crowd. “Those are all the villains. Luckily, they never made it and have all been zombified. Unluckily, they’re trying to get in.” Future Ultima Shadow looked up. “Get in where? Hey, wait…how’d we get in this building?”
USL looked shifty. “Uh…plot hole? Um, anyway, we currently have no supplies and most of us are pretty weird, so…Ah!” Looking in the back, he saw Future Glorb eating Future Chef. “Holy crap! Future Glorb, you’ve resorted to cannibalism already? Are you…a zombie?” Future Glorb struggled to come up with an answer. “Uhm, no?” USL sighed. “Okay, we’re down to 13 of us. Anyway, let’s go look for supplies.”
DAY TWO
By now, the Knights were starting to get suspicious of each other. Future Glorb had already eaten Future Chef, Future The Blue Toad and even himself, and thus everyone else was jumpy. The previous night they found some weapons in the basement, but desperation sank in as they realized that all they found was a bunch of super soakers and Nerf guns. For the first (or maybe, hundredth) time in the story, Glorb’s Desert Eagle didn’t work, which meant they were…stuck.
-
Suddenly, an old lady walked up to them. The Knights stepped backwards, weary and weak.
"Knights... one of you is evil, and must be destroyed immediately. They will jeopardise your quest." she muttered.
"Isn't it Ultimate Shadow Lord?" Future Ultima Shadow asked.
"No... it is you." she muttered.
Suddenly, Future US screamed in fury, lashing out at the woman. He knocked her backwards, laughing.
"I'm evil in the future?" US muttered quietly.
"You're always the evil one," Hyrulian replied.
"No, I am!" Future Hyrulian cried.
"Who is evil here?" TBT yelled in confusion.
"Our future selves! They're evil!" Chef screamed.
They gasped as the Future Selves revived themselves, and as a figure came in through the window.
"And under my control," Puppernickel sneered.
"We'll never work for you!" Hyrulian shouted, outraged.
"You become zombies," Puppernickel roared, "and you obey me."
"When will this happen?" US mumbled in desperation.
"NOW!" bellowed Puppernickel.
A loud explosion followed, blindingly white and red-hot... screams were heard... then silence.
-
Just then, Ultima Shadow woke up panting. "Wha...was it just a dream?" But then he looked up to see himself in a large laboratory. Pumpernickel answered his question. "No, it isn't! Now that I have you, I'll make you evil, using my Evil-Machine-Ray-O-Matic One Million!" He pulled a huge lever, and a ray hit Ultima Shadow just in time for him to yell "Nooooo!"
Just then, Glorb woke up panting. "What? Why was I having a dream about Ultima Shadow?" Then he looked down, and found out he WAS Ultima Shadow! "Nooooooo!" He burst through the front door of his solid-gold mansion, then stopped. Since when was Ultima Shadow this rich? though Glorb, a.k.a. Ultima Shadow, when his butler appeared. But the butler was Hitler! Like, Hutler, or Bitler, or something!
Just then, The Chef woke up panting. "Man, two dreams inside one dream? What a wierd dream!" But when he looked around, he saw he was on an airplane, along with the rest of the Knights. Hyrulian looked at him. "Oh, I see you're awake." The Chef was puzzled. "Where am I?" he asked. But one look out then window, and he saw that the Earth was in ruins! But since that was too much trouble to think about, he sat down as the airplane docked.
As the Knights exited, Pumpernickel appeared. The Blue Toad handed him a card. Pumpernickel looked back. "Come in. I'll tell you what this is all about. You can trust me." What was this? Had the Knights turned evil? Had Pumpernickel turned good? Why was the Earth destroyed? Find out soon!
-
Yes, as it turned out, Pumpernickel HAD turned good! You see, during the 19 years The Chef was in a coma, the Knights had turned Pumpernickel into a kind, loving person, who later became president of MicroAppleSoftTendo. And Sega. As the Knights walked into his meeting room, he began his speech.
"Knights, the Earth has been taken over by the zombies, like in Day of the Dead. The only chance we have against them is to capture zombies and then train them to work for us so we can have these big, awesome zombie battles, with zombies fighting each other. And then we can have a zombie fighting a shark. That'd be, like, rad."
There was more than a short pause.
Hyrulian stood up. "That was your plan?" Pumpernickel looked surprised. "Well, um, yes. Yes it was." Hyrulian was, at this point, visibly angry. "You stupid idiot! We waited eighteen years just to hear you talking about zombies wars and sharks?! What'll we do now?"
A thought struck Glorb. "Hey, I know! What about that time machine you have lying in the corner?" he inquired, pointing to a time machine in the corner next to Pumpernickel, who glanced at it. "Oh, that thing? What about it?" Glorb then explained in interpretive dance that the Knights had to go back in time to the beginning of the story, when Mario and all the other people visited the cabin. That way, Pumpernickel could defeat his evil self and they could all live happily ever after.
And thus, the Knights embarked on a journey through time not unlike all the other journeys tthrough time...but this time, it was personal.
-
They arrived in the past, only to find that Luigi had not come. Mario, Peach and Toad were sitting inside a cabin, doing nothing in particular. The Knights and Puppernickel looked at them.
"Hey, where's Luigi?" Ultima Shadow asked.
Suddenly, Mario, Peach and Toad began to cry.
"Luigi died!" Toad sobbed, and, suddenly, Ultima Shadow began to change shape!
"What's going on?" Hyrulian gasped.
"Since Luigi never existed... that may have affected Ultima's name change. I don't know what he is now..." TBT explained.
The transformation ended, and the Knights gasped.
"Who are you people?" the transformed Ultima Shadow muttered.
Instead of having dark sapphire armor, his armor was now a deep ruby, and was differently shaped.
"Ultima?" Glorb gasped.
"Who's Ultima?" the person asked, "my name is Insomnia Knuckles."
"Okay, this is getting weird," Glorb commented.
Suddenly, Toad began to fade! Eventually, he was entirely see-through.
"What's going on?" Puppernickel yelled in confusion.
They turned around, and saw that The Blue Toad was now The Purple Goomba. He looked totally different.
"Since Toad never existed, then The Blue Toad is different," Hyrulian explained.
Hyrulian and Glorb turned around, to see that Mario and Peach were now watching South Park. However, something was different.
"Is this before Chef left the show?" Glorb asked.
"Who's Chef?" Mario asked.
Hyrulian and Glrob turned around, only to see that The Chef had changed too- he was now The Cheat!
"That makes no sense!" Glorb bellowed.
"Well, we have to go and beat Puppernickel as soon as possible, before Led Zeppelin doesn't exist or something," Hyrulian said urgently.
"We'll go as well," The Cheat told them.
"Sorry, but you need to stay here and guard Mario and Peach," Glorb mumbled. "something isn't right here."
At that, Puppernickel, Glorb and Hyrulian left, leaving a very confused Insomnia Knuckles, The Purple Goomba and The Cheat behind (as well as Mario and Peach, who were watching Sonic X).
-
But then Deezer became a zombie, and started feeding zombie bread to everyone!
-
(Try to keep the story coherent, please.)
So Puppernickel, Glorb and Hyrulean had to go back even further in time to prevent Luigi from dying so that US, TC and TBT wouldn't transform. Then they'd have to defeat Puppernickel's past self so that the future of Earth would be at peace.
"Geez, this time-travel stuff is confusing", said Puppernickel.
-
After all the time travel, the knights landed on some wierd suburb. "so this is where Luigi dies?" glorb asked.
"guess so" hyrulean answered.
After some walking around, the group saw Luigi walking accross the other side of the street!
"I'm-a-ready for the cabin trip!" Luigi said hapily, but little did he know, that he was about to die.
"There he is!!" Pupperknickel Exclaimed.
"Great, now let's move in!" glorb repiled.
Luigi was walking under a tree, with a large strawberry growing off of it, it was ready to be plucked.
"Look out!!" Hyrulean yelled.
"whaa??" Luigi turned around, the cherry fell off!
"NOOO!!" Glorb screamed at the top of his lungs, and jumped into the air, slow motion had begun, he successfuly pushed Luigi out of the way, but the Strawberry fell on glorb's head!
The others ran towards dead glorb, Luigi thanked then for saving his life.
"Well, we saved luigi but glorb is dead!" Hyrulean said.
"Bahh, close enough" Puppernickle replied.
The two moved on.
-
Glorb sat upon a ruby pillow that rested in a chair. The great seat was made of pure gold and encrusted with glittering crystal. It appeared proud; a seat for a king. It was located atop a floor of creamy, white clouds, stirring slightly, but not disturbing the great throne. Glorb sat in this chair, though, contrasting with its glory, looking bored; brow furrowed and chin rested on his hand.
"The ratings on Glorb's Heaven went down long ago, people... why do I always die?" he asked himself.
-
So Puppernickel and Hyrulean went back to the future to find Mario, Luigi, Peach and Toad all having a good time at the cabin. The Chef, Ultima Shadow and The Blue Toad were back to their normal selves.
"Where's Glorb?" asked US.
"He sacrificed himself to save Luigi" said Hyrulean.
"Why, Glorb!? WHY!!?" cried The Chef.
"Guess we'll have to host an honourable funeral for him sometime" said US.
"But he died in the past" said TBT.
"Well, I have to get back to my time-period" said Puppernickel, "If you see my past self, destroy him. It's the only way the future will be safe."
"But won't you dissapear from existance?" asked TC.
"Sometimes you have to make that sacrifice" said Puppernickel, "Just look what Glorb did for Luigi."
"I understand" said The Chef.
"Goodbye Puppernickel" said Hyrulean, "You've been a good friend."
So Puppernickel returned to the future, only to have his evil past self soon to be destroyed by The Five Minus One Knights.
-
Just then, in heaven, the alarm was raised. Glorb snapped to consciousness as an angel-looking guy ran up to him. “Glorb, hurry! It’s the red alert!” Glorb tried to raise one eyebrow, except he wasn’t very good at it, so both his eyebrows ended up being raised, which made him looked surprised (he was, it’s just that that wasn’t the look he was going for). “Red alert? What does that – oof!” Suddenly, he was clad in battle armor and holding a large battle axe/minigun/shield. “Ah! Now what?” exclaimed Glorb, though the “what” was muffled by an enormous explosion behind him. Turning around, Glorb saw Pumpkin-Nickel the Great!
One of the angels flew up next to Glorb and explained everything. It turns out that, in 2007, while Pumpernickel was driving to a strip club, his tricycle was hit by a pumpkin that flew out of nowhere. Because of this, he vowed to turn good, but had a strange obsession with pumpkins. Eventually, he made a pumpkin-powered time machine that allowed the Knights to destroy his evil past self, ridding the world of his past evilness but killing him in the process. However, prior to that day he had made a pumpkin-powered robot suit.
Just as his evil self was destroyed in the past, Evil Pumpernickel downloaded his evil brain onto a disk sent it forward in time, where it inserted itself into the PumpkinSuit, creating the most evil thing of all: Pumpkin-Nickel the Great!
-
"I'm sorry - what? I didn't catch that," asked a sincere-appearing blonde lady sitting upon a sapphire throne.
"Er..." spoke a lad dressed in a salmon-colored tunic, a blue fish printed upon its chest. "Pumpkins. He controls... pumpkins..."
Queen Sapphira raised a single eyebrow, quite capable of doing so unlike a certain Glorb. She reamined still, her stone-like eyes staring into her servant's with slight unbelief.
"Pumpernickel-"
"Pumpkin... nickel... your majesty."
"Right, Pumpkin-nickel has the power of a fruit?"
"Uhh.... wait-?"
"Yeah, Sushie Boy, a pumpkin is a fruit."
"Yes, then," he replied with a smile, his confusion wiped away.
"Gah, that Pumpernickel... he has threatened my kingdom for too long! Where are those Five Knights?!"
"Well, I'm not really sure where they are, as they apparently pop from one place to the next, though I know that Glorb died."
"Again?"
"Yeah."
"Very well, that's fine. Just - get our troops ready. We shall not let the Knights fight this battle alone!"
"Very good, your majesty, right away!-"
"Ahem," spoke a groggly voice from the shadows of Sapphira's throne room. The agile queen quickly stood with a fright, taking her tall, blue staff (which held a thick drop of black hair strands, covered in a colorful glop of painty substance, at the top so that it resembled a giant, royal paintbrush) and held it with caution.
"Lower your weapon of art, Sapphira," the voice said. "It is only I."
Out from the shadow hopped a giant frog, Luepoftior! The evil toad!
-
"Wow. What a battle" said The Chef as he and the other Knights were travelling back to the future.
"I guess peace has finally been restored" said Ultima Shadow. "That's a relief" said The Blue Toad.
"It looks like we're almost there" said Hyrulean. So the KNights arrived back in their proper time period, but all was not well. Pumpkin-Nickel had decimated the village closest to where the Knights landed and he was heading toward the captial city.
-
"It looks like we're almost there" said Hyrulian. So the Knights arrived back in their proper time period, but all was not well. Pumpkin-Nickel had decimated the village closest to where the Knights landed and he was heading toward the Capital City.
Just then, Hyrulian came up with an idea. “I know, let’s break into song!” And so they all did, though what song it was is not entirely clear. Probably a very bouncy-uppity song, not, like, something by The Cure, because they’re not really a burst-into song kind of band, and, besides, the Knights had to worry about copyright infringement. But into song they burst-ed nonetheless, and eventually they arrived at Capital City.
Problem is, it was in shambles! The Knights looked in horror at all the litter, crashed cars, fires and broken windows; as they did, a newspaper with the headline “THE DEAD WALK” fluttered past them. The Blue Toad sighed. “Aw man, we forgot about those zombies in Victorian England! Now they’ve taken over the world!”
“Ah-ah-ah” said Ultima Shadow, librarian glasses on his austere nose and a well-thumbed book in his hand, “According to the Zombie Survival Guide, this is a Class-3 outbreak, not a Class-4, which would entail a zombie takeover of the worl—AGH!” Just then, his words were cut off (quite literally) by a zombie biting down on his brains!
-
"NOOOO!!" cried The Chef. "He's been turned into a Zombie!" shouted TBT. "Guys, we have a problem" said Hyrulean". "What?" said TC and TBT in unison. "Look..." The remaining three Knuights looked up to see Pumpkin-Nickel standing before them. "Aaaaaaaaaahhh!!" cried The Chef. "Well, well, well, if it isn't The Fellowship of TMK!" said Pumpkin-Nickel. "Who are and why do you have a pumpkin on your head?" asked TBT. "I can see you don't recognize me." started PN, "Remember when you destroyed me back in the past? Well you may have erased my body from history but I managed to send my mind into this robotic suit in the future, which was built by my good-natured future self the day before you destroyed my past self!" "So you're still around eh?" said The Chef, "Well, I know a way we can get rid of you once and for all!" "You really think so? How do expect to get anywhere if you're friend had been turned into a zombie?" inquired PN. "I can fix that too!" shouted The Chef. So The Chef used his SPATULA to teleport away from that area to the exact location of.....
The Blue Tomato
-
…Which happened to be in the town of Chickenmilk, Wisconsin. The Blue Tomato was in his small hut of glue and hair when The Chef burst through his door. “Alright, Blue Tomato, the jig is up!” He then punched TBT in the shin, eliciting the reply, “Ow! What jig? What did I do?” The Chef pulled out a large revolver. “No questions! Come with me!”
Reluctantly, The Blue Tomato followed The Chef to his pink tricycle. The Chef smacked The Blue Tomato again. “If you tell ANYONE about my secret, then Fluffy gets it!” he said, pulling out a small kitten. TBT was visibly confused. “Who’s Fluffy? I don’t have a cat.” The Chef paused. “Um…well, come with me anyway!” He forced the poor Tomato into the trike’s basket and rode all the way to Glorb’s house, then knocked on the door (after pistol-whipping the Blue Tomato, that is).
A slightly drugged-sounding voice came from behind the door. “Who is it?” said Glorb. The Chef kicked down the door and threw the Blue Tomato at Glorb. “THAT’S who!” said The Chef as he left with a huff, never to be seen again by Glorb. Until the next day, at the Senior Citizens’ Bingo Center For Old Folks…
-
(Why did you do that Glorb?)
-
At the Senior Citizens' Bingo Center for Old Folks, a shady figure walked in, laughing.
"I'm going to use this custom-made bingo card to win all of the games!" the figure laughed evilly.
"Hold it right there!" a voice roared.
The guy turned around, and saw two figures; Hyrulian and The Blue Toad. The guy gasped.
"You'll never win!" he shouted, pulling down his sleeves.
"..." they muttered in unison.
Suddenly, several Bingo cards flew at them, knocking Hyrulian and the Blue Toad to the ground! They got up, laughing.
"That didn't hurt!" Hyrulian muttered.
"Take this!" the man bellowed, throwing a pen at The Blue Toad.
The pen hit Hyrulian on the forehead instead, because the man had terrible aim.
"That almost hurt," he muttered.
"Villains just aren't the same anymore," TBT laughed, running towards the man with an axe.
The man ran away, dropping his bingo cards, a bottle of pills and a wallet- and also a mysterious pendant.
"What's that?" Hyrulian gasped.
TBT walked over, and picked up the mysterious pendant. He opened it, and a bright light shone into his eyes!
"Hyrulian," TBT muttered, "turn off that torch, it's broad daylight! Why do you have a torch anyway?"
Scowling, Hyrulian put the torch back in his pocket. He then picked up the bottle of pills- suddenly, he and TBT were sucked into the bottle, and it fell to the ground with a clatter.
"Hey, I found a bottle of pills!" Glorb muttered, picking it up. "I'm going to go in and see if it belongs to anyone."
He gripped it tightly in his hand, and walked forward- only to see The Chef walk in front of him!
"The Chef!" Glorb shouted.
"Glorb!" The Chef bellowed.
"No, I am your father!" Darth Vader yelled. "Whoops, wrong fic..."
Glorb and The Chef watched as Darth Vader disappeared into a plot hole, and they both shrugged, before glaring at each other once again.
-
“Aha, Glorb, I see you’ve found out my secret plan, eh?” said The Chef. “What plan?” replied Glorb. The Chef smirked evilly. “Oh, you would –“ But his words were cut off by the door slamming open – revealing The Blue Tomato! Walking in on some crutches, he spoke up. “Hold it right there! That’s not the real Chef! The Chef I used to know would never treat me that way! I’m fairly sure he doesn’t own a large revolver, either! Except he does own a pink tricycle, but that’d beside the point.” As everyone looked towards The Chef, he suddenly ripped off the cape he was wearing to reveal that he was Hello Kitty!
“Okay, okay, what?” said Hyrulian, blatantly interrupting the flow of the story, “What the fudge is going on?” Hello Kitty cleared her throat. “Ha! Don’t you see! I’ve been pulling the strings all along! There is no The Chef!” But The Chef (the real one) piped up. “Yes, there is. I’m right here.” Hello Kitty looked around shiftily. “Uh, okay. I didn’t anticipate that…Nonetheless, I’ve been controlling everything! Ever since I was invented in 1974, I’ve slowly been enveloping the world with the new reality I’ve been creating! Ha!” Glorb was in shock. “So…the real Earth is stuck in 1974?” “Exactly!” bellowed Kitty. “And now, I will change this universe into one of SHEER PAIN!” She then pulled out a large paper clip…
-
...and hit The Chef with it! He went flying through the window, and Hello Kitty let out an evil cackle.
"You're going down!" The Blue Toad roared, swinging his axe.
It made contact with the paperclip, and, to TBT's surprise, the axe flew out of his hand. Hyrulian charged forward, only to be dispatched by the paperclip. Suddenly, a gigantic shape fell from the ceiling- it was none other than Pink Glorb!
"Pink Glorb!" Glorb shouted, as The Blue Toad gasped.
"Yes, it is I!" Pink Glorb laughed. "I have always been, and always will be, on Hello Kitty's side!"
"It's true!" Hello Kitty laughed. "YOU stand no chance!"
"Don't be so sure!" a voice laughed.
From the ceiling fell Ultimate Shadow Lord and the Darkness Hedgehog Team! Everyone gasped!
"I thought I got rid of you!" Hello Kitty screamed.
"Well, you obviously didn't do a very good job." USL snickered.
"No matter... I'll finish you off now!" Hello Kitty replied.
"In your dreams," USL muttered, clenching his fists.
"And I know someone you can't fight," Hello Kitty laughed.
The doors opened behind them, and Ultima Shadow emerged, clad in jet black armor and sneering.
"Don't tell me Ultima's evil again," TBT groaned. "That is so overused."
"Silence!" Ultima Shadow roared, charging forward.
His fists met TBT's face, and he staggered backwards. TBT gasped, more out of shock than pain.
"Ultima, snap out of it!" TBT shouted, but he did not respond as US sent punch after punch into TBT's stomach.
Wheezing, The Blue Toad picked up his axe, only to have Ultima rip off it's head.
"Heh. How utterly weak." US smiled, delivering a lethal uppercut.
Luckily, the punch missed, and The Blue Toad picked up the remains of his axe.
"Hey, surprise!" Glrob laughed, hitting US on the back of the head.
Yawning, Ultima Shadow turned around. Glorb stepped backwards. Ultimate Shadow Lord, too, walked towards them. Cornered, they clenched their fists.
"Ultimate Shadow Lord, you take Hello Kitty. Glorb, try and get Pink Glorb's Kill-you-five-times noodle or whatever that thing is called." TBT muttered.
"Are you going after Ultima Shadow?" Glorb asked.
"I have an idea," USL muttered. "There's a time portal opening soon... if you defeat Ultima in the past, this won't happen."
"But you'll die," protested Glorb.
"I know, but you'll have a better chance of defeating Hello Kitty and Pink Glorb." he sighed, glancing at TBT's broken axe.
"Okay then." The Blue Toad muttered.
"I'll hold them off," Ultimate Shadow Lord yelled, "now go!"
The Blue Toad and Glorb sprinted down the street, trying to ignore the sounds of battle behind them. They looked up, and saw a gigantic hole in the sky.
"I'm guessing that's it," The Blue Toad muttered.
-
Mario whispered to the Evil Bread, "What the heck's going on? I this story was going to be about you and me."
-
That changed a long time ago, buddy.
So while TBT and Glorb went into the past, The Chef plummeted down, down, down, until he landed on a convinently placed pile of matresses."Wow. That was highly improbable" said TC. "Wait a minute!" shouted TC, "that must mean that The Blue Tomato is nearby! I can use it to destroy the reality that Hello Kitty created and replace it with the proer one that she disrupted!" And The Chef got and ran in the direction that the improbable scent of The Blue Tomato was coming from.
Meanwhile, in the past where TBT and Glorb went to.....
-
Suddenly, Mario and The Evil Bread jumped in front of Glorb, The Chef and The Blue Toad!
"Are you going to help us?" TBT asked.
"No! You've stolen our story, and now we will destroy you!" The Evil Bread laughed.
TEB stretched into the shape of a trampoline, and Mario jumped on him, getting extra bounce. The Blue Toad looked up, only to see The Evil Bread blast forward in the shape offist towards him. He knocked him flat, and covered his mouth. The Blue Toad struggled, punching the bread aimlessly. Suddenly, The Chef scooped him off with the spatula, and Glorb shot him with an AK47. (can't explain how he got one)
"Gack!" The Evil Bread roared, landing on the ground.
The Chef laughed, only to be hit on the head hard by a stomping Mario. He fell unconscious.
"Since when are you guys evil?" TBT shouted.
"...evil..?" Mario gasped.
"AAH!" The Evil Bread shouted, moving away.
"I didn't know The Evil Bread was evil! I'll help you on your quest," said Mario, picking up The Chef.
Mario (with The Chef), The Blue Toad and Glrob continued to walk, wary of any new enemies.
-
"So here's the plan" said The Chef, "TBT and Glorb will go back into the past to stop US, while me and Mario will go find The Blue Tomato and destroy Hello Kitty's evil reality and replace it with the real one that's been stuck in 1974. "Speaking of US, where is he?" asked TBT.
"He's being held off by Hyrulean while you guys go defeat his past self" said Glorb. "OK, we're all set, now let's go!" said The Chef.
-
"He's being held off by Hyrulian while you guys go defeat his past self" said Glorb. "OK, we're all set, now let's go!" said The Chef.
So Glorb went back in time to do his thang, while Hello Kitty and Ultimate Shadow Lord began to face off. “I’m the ultimate villain!” screamed Hello Kitty, to which USL replied, “No you aren’t.” Hello Kitty thought for a second. “Well, there’s only one way to settle this…” And, in a lightning-quick maneuver not even USL could stop, she grabbed his arm and flung him through the ceiling! Boards splintered through the air as Hello Kitty leapt up through the hole after him.
“HAHAHA! Foolish Ultimate what’s-your-name, nothing can stop me from destroying you and taking my rightful place as ruler of evil!” USL smirked. “Well…can you stop…THIS?! Ultimate Flaming Energy Destructo-Ball of Flaaaaaame!!!” He sent an enormous ball of energy towards HK, which caught her and sent her careening into a nearby building with a smash. USL flew after her into the rubble. “Come out, come out, wherever you are…” As USL began to strike, he was cut off by a deafening roar as Hello Kitty burst through the floor and knocked USL into the streets below – onto a car. The citizens fled as Hello Kitty jumped down and sent a salvo of punches into USL before flooring him with a devastating uppercut that sent him flying ten feet away.
Hello Kitty did a little victory dance. “Ha! Now that he’s taken care of…” Suddenly, she was caught from behind as USL slammed into her, sending chunks of the sidewalk flying everywhere. “Take this!” said USL, ripping the door of an SUV and sending it into Hello Kitty, “And THIS!” he said as he threw a fire hydrant flying into her. Hello Kitty struck back with a Flaming Dragon Punch (like from Street Fighter). The two villains continued duking it out for villain supremacy in New York Times Square.
-
Then The Chef heard the noise from the fight and said "Ah great, that sounds like Hello Kitty and Ultimate Shadow Lord fighting each other". Mario nodded in reponse. "Maybe we can ask The Blue Tomato to fix that too" said The Chef.
-
"This is bad," observed The Blue Toad.
"It's about to get a whole lot worse," Ultima Shadow sneered, walking up to them.
"You traitor!" Glorb roared, jumping at US, only to receive a powerful uppercut.
The Blue Toad ran forward, swinging his axe, only to be hit hard by Pink Glorb. Glorb grabbed Pink Glorb's noodle, narrowly missing its deadly strike. Hyrulian jumped into the air, preparing to slam into Pink Glorb, only to be hit hard in the stomach by Ultima Shadow. The three remaining Knights gasped.
"We can't beat them!" Hyrulian muttered, holding his injured arm.
"Giving up already, foolish Knights," US laughed, "you're no match for us."
"We just need to buy more time for The Chef and Mario to get The Blue Tomato," Glorb breathed.
"You're too late... we've already got it. The Blue Tomato that The Chef is going after is a fake, and you can't hope to turn the tables." Pink Glorb sneered. "Now, prepare to be killed- five times!"
Leaving the Knights no time to react, Ultima Shadow and Pink Glorb attacked at lethal speeds, knocking Hyrulian, The Blue Toad and Glorb through a building. As they got up, Ultima Shadow knocked them away with an Earthquake Punch.
"They're too quick," Glorb breathed, leaping out of the way as Ultima Shadow ran after him.
"Surprise!" US laughed, throwing him into the air. "Pink Glorb, now!"
Pink Glorb leapt into the air, brandishing the noodle that she treasured. Glorb flailed about in mid-air as the Noodle closed in. Suddenly, a ghost appeared, and rushed forward, piercing through Pink Glorb's chest. Letting out a final scream, Glorb's counterpart fell to the ground. Glorb landed hard, looking at the ghost.
"Nice to see you too," the ghost of Masher laughed.
"Masher!" The Blue Toad smiled, running over next to Hyrulian.
"Hey everyone," Ghost Masher grinned, "now, let's finish off this traitor."
"You're outnumbered, Ultima Shadow... just give up," Hyrulian told him.
"Thanks," Ultima Shadow snickered, "she was cramping my style. Earthquake Punch!"
US slammed his fist into the ground, sending shockwaves to the alarmed Knights. All of them were thrown back (except for Masher) and fell to the ground. Ultima Shadow then formed his arms into an X shape, and dark energy surrounded them. As the Knights slowly got up, Masher faded slowly, his energy drained from his final attack.
MEANWHILE...
"The Blue Tomato!" The Chef gasped, running over.
Mario followed him, and they stood in front. Suddenly, the Blue Tomato began to change shape, and formed into a beige sphere.
"Evil Bread!" Mario shouted.
The sphere grew in size until it filled up the entire room. The Chef and Mario backed off, only to be hit by the growing bread. The doors shut behind them. They were trapped.
-
But then there was an immense rumbling, like that of a volcano erupting and of the finale of Led Zeppelin’s farewell concert combined, and then silence. This was followed by a flash of white light that caused everyone to feel intense pain in their kidneys, revealing a large hole in the bread. This as no ordinary bread – it was Time-travel bread! The Knights (plus Ghost Masher, who had magically turned into Revenant Masher, which was like that enemy from Doom II, ‘cause he was all ghost-y and could shoot fireballs and bring stuff back to life) leaped through and were instantly transported to 1974 Colorado! Then…nothing happened. Glorb sighed. “Why Colorado? In 1974? This is too boring.” But a new wind was about to blow…
-
The wind blew past a circle of tumbleweed, and the Knights watched it go.
"...that was pointless," The Blue Toad muttered.
"Well, this whole situation is pointless!" Glorb shouted, "Hyrulian's got an injured arm, we don't know where we're going, Ultima is probably destroying that city, and The Chef and Mario are probably doomed by now. Why fight on, against all of the odds?"
"Because we are the Knights!" Hyrulian shouted fiercely, "and we never back away from a fight."
"Ni!" yelled a mysterious voice, and all of the Knights jumped- except for Ghost Masher, who was hovering.
"We are the Knights who say NI!" the voice- or voices- yelled, causing the Five to step backwards.
The voices were that of the infamous Knights Who Say Ni! *cue dramatic music*
"Ni!" the first one said, and Hyrulian fell backwards.
"You guys are from Monty Python!" Glorb yelled.
"NI!" the second roared, and Glorb was sent flying into the distance.
"...this is the single stupidest fight I have ever fought," TBT commented, getting out his axe with a sigh.
-
A few hours later, Glorb finished trudging back to the site of the battle, which was now over. “Crap! How come I always miss the cool battles?” he shouted to himself. But just then, Hyrulian gasped. “Look!” he said, pointing in the distance, “A gas station!” The Knights Plus Ghost Masher Minus The Chef walked over to the station, where they were greeted by young, not-so-wise-looking frog with an Afro.
The Blue Toad gasped. “Luepoftior!” The frog nodded. “Yeah, I’m Luepoftior, but if you weren’t such fogies you’d be callin’ me ‘Poft.” Glorb tried really hard to raise one eyebrow and halfway-succeeded, prompting ‘Poft to give him a strange look. “Whassup wi’ you, man?” Glorb stopped. “Uh, nothing. Say, is this 1974?” ‘Poft snorted “’Course it is! And dis is my station! C’mon, I’ll give you jive turkeys a tour!” As ‘Poft began to lead them around the back Ghost Masher whispered to the others. “Hey, see the van?” The Knights looked over at a psychedelic van in the corner with the words “The Mystery Van” painted on the side. “Let’s steal it!” he said.
And so the Knights hopped in the van and drove all the way to North Dakota to find the source of the problem. On the way, Glorb pulled out a large, black, clunky device. “Hey, what’s this?” The other Knights looked at it quizzically, especially Hyrulian. “It looks like…a cell phone?” Glorb snickered. “Of course not, my cell phone’s right…here?” But he looked on in horror as he realized the clunky thing WAS his cell phone! A 70’s version! Ghost Masher pulled out his DS, only to find it replaced by a 70-pound Pong machine! And The Blue Toad pulled out his emerald axe to find it was replaced by a celluloid axe! The knights all screamed in unison as the van (which The Blue Toad was supposed to be driving) crashed into a nearby exploding barrel depot.
-
Meanwhile, in the present time, in the middle of the chamber that The Chef and Mario were trapped in....
The Chef: This stinks.
Mario nodded in agreement.
TC: If we don't get out of here soon enough, we'll be suffocated!
Just then, Mario took a Fire Flower out of his back pocket and gave it to TC.
TC: Hmmm... That's it!
TC got out his SPATULA and used the Fire Flower on it.
TC: Now, watch this!
TC cooked the Evil Bread using his flame-empowered weapon. In a metter of minutes, the big ball of Evil Bread was reduced to a piece of toast.
TC: That was a close one.
Mario nodded.
TC: So how do we get out of here?
Mario shrugged.
To be continued....
-
In the present, Hello Kitty, Ultima Shadow and the recently revived Pink Glorb were sitting on three thrones, having successfully taken over the city.
"Servant!" US roared, and some random person came towards the throne, quivering.
"Yes, Lord Shadow?" the person squeaked.
"I would like a hot chocolate, made with full cream milk. And don't forget the marshmallows. Chocolate marshmallows." US ordered.
The person nodded, running away.
"With no Knights or Mario around, we rule this city," Hello Kitty laughed, sipping an Earl Grey from an antique cup.
-
So Goombario set out and tried to kill Hello Kitty, hoping he will then go on every adventure with Mario afterward, but... Rainbow attack! Goombario was stunned by the rainbow...
-
Could you do us a favor and try to keep the story coherent next time you post? Thanks.
-
OOC: a new character won't hurt. Besides, who else is going to stop HK, PG and I?
"So you tried to defeat me?" Hello Kitty laughed.
Despite being stunned, Goombario managed to let out two words- "You bet."
Hello Kitty laughed harder, kicking Goombario to the side of the room where he fainted.
"That was surprisingly easy," Hello Kitty remarked, sitting back on her throne.
"Indeed," Ultima Shadow agreed, drinking more hot chocolate while eating chocolate marshmallows.
"You won't get rid of me that easily!" Goombario yelled, leaping into the air while preparing to kick.
This time, Pink Glorb jumped, too, morphing into a giant hammer. Goombario started spinning, and the hammer hit, sending him into the window sill where he span in circles before flying back towards Pink Glorb. He hit hard, slamming Pink Glorb into Ultima Shadow. His hot chocolate spilt onto the floor.
"That's it," he growled, "no-one- and I mean NO-ONE- takes away my hot chocolate!"
US ran forward as Goombario leapt into the air, preparing for some weird stomp. However, Ultima delivered an uppercut to the young Goomba, launching him into the air. Hello Kitty ran forward, launching another rainbow attack. It struck Goombario, sending him to the ground in a shower of sparks.
"You're pretty good," US laughed, "you should join us."
Will Goombario join the Evil Trio? Can Mario and The Chef escape the room? Did the Knights survive crashing into the Exploding Barrels depot? And where exactly is Dezzer? Find out on the next installment of- The Evil Bread!
-
Sometime In The Present...
*A Tour Bus Comes By, Droping Someone Off In The City*
Mystery Person: Er... Where'ed Every Body Go? And Why Is The City In Ruins? And Why Did I Come Back? And Who Am I? And Who Are They?! *MP Somehow Gets Into The Building With Gombario US, Hello Kitty, And Pink Glorb*
Hello Kitty: ...
US: ...
Pink Glorb: ...
Gombario: ...
Who Is This Strange New Charicter? Is He Not New? And Why Did He Ask So Many Dang Questions? FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON DRAG- I MEAN Mario: The Evil Bread!!!
-
Better Yet, Why Does Masher Insist On Typing Like This, With Every Word In The Sentence Capitalized? It's Kind Of Annoying, In Case You Didn't Know.
Meanwhile, back in the room where Mario and The Chef are trapped....[/b]
The Chef: Any ideas on how to get outta here, Mario?
Mario thinks for a minute, then suddenly has a burst of enthusiasm.
The Chef: You have an idea?
Mario points up.
The Chef: Oh, the air vent.
Mario nods.
The Chef: So, how do we get up there?
Mario motions for The Chef to climb up on his shoulders.
The Chef: Alrighty, then.
Mario hoists The Chef up with great ease sue to his super strength. The Chef promptly opens the vent and climbs up, Mario jumps up after him, using his super jumping ability.
The Chef: (In a sarcastic tone) Now comes the fun part....
They proceed to crawl through the vent.
To be continued
-
OOC: Oh sorry it's just a bit of a habit, I'll stop
Once again in the preasent in the room with the bad guys...
Hello kitty: And who the @#%$ are you?!
Masher: Er... I'm Masher
US: ... Masher...?
Masher: Don't tell me you're evil again... I was on vacation for... er... how long was I gone?
PGlorb: Er... With all the confuseing time travel stuff, I'm not sure anymore
Hello Kitty: Well whoever you are, you shall die!!!
Masher: Wha? What in the world is going on here?!
US: I thought you were dead!!
Masher: WHAT?! What in the world are you talking about?
PGlorb: Yeah... you were a knight, and you died...
Masher: ... I went on vacation...
DUN DUN DUUUuuuUuuuUuuUNNnnnnNnnn!!
OCC: Oh yeah! This is my 100th post! Celebrate! Horaaay!
-
OOC: Welcome back, Masher! =D
"Ack, my plan was foiled!" yelled a random voice.
Masher looked up, seeing... a ghost version of himself? The ghost descended, hovering in front of the REAL Masher.
"Wait... so there's two Mashers?" US muttered, confused.
"Yes... and I kept these four under my control for the whole time!" Ghost Masher laughed.
Masher looked at the four villains. It was true- they had been hypnotised.
"So, you made them evil? That's it," Masher muttered.
There was only one thing to do. Concentrating hard, Masher tried to free GH's grip on their minds. They stood perfectly still, trying to regain control over the four very confused villains.
"Hyah!" GH cried, falling backwards.
He fainted, the strain too much. The hypnotism was no longer in effect- they were themselves again.
"You fool," Hello Kitty muttered, "Ghost Masher was holding us back. And, now, you die."
"Yeah," Pink Glorb agreed.
"No way!" Goombario and US yelled in unison, leaping in front of Masher.
"So you're challenging us?" Pink Glorb sneered.
"I guess so," Masher grinned, levitating Hello Kitty and Pink Glorb with psychic powers.
Ultima Shadow and Goombario attacked as one- Ultima launched a devastating punch into Hello Kitty's stomach, and Goombario stomped on Pink Glorb.
"You've made me angry," Hello Kitty snarled.
As Pink Glorb fell beside her, Hello Kitty let out an unearthly shriek, growing in size. Claws grew from her hands and fangs from her mouth. Basically, she became more evil-looking. With a simple kick, she sent Goombario away, over the horizon.
"Masher," US muttered, "let's show this cat what happens when she messes with the Knights."
"Agreed," Masher sneered, psychic energy charging around his fists.
-MEANWHILE-
The truck was stationary. Inside, The Blue Toad, Hyrulian and Glorb were very confused.
"I thought you were supposed to be driving?" Glorb muttered to The Blue Toad.
"Ghost Masher said he wanted to drive." TBT replied.
"You let a ghost drive a van?" Hyrulian muttered incredulously.
"He was pretty good," revealed TBT, "apart from that whole crashing thing."
"Where is he, anyway?" Hyrulian asked.
"Dunno," TBT replied, "he just vanished."
Suddenly, an explosion rocked the van, and the Knights all fell over. =P
"What on earth was that?" Hyrulian gasped.
"Barrels," Glorb muttered. "Exploding Barrels."
Suddenly, one entered the van, and the Knights yelled. However, this barrel was not brown, but pink! =O =O =O
"Don't worry," the barrel said (how can it say anything in the first place? IT'S A BARREL FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!) "I'm a peace-loving exploding barrel."
"Seems like a bit of an oxymoron to me," Glorb mumbled.
Another explosion rocked the van, and the Knights realised they were in an exploding barrel factory.
"We already knew that," Hyrulian sighed, referring to the excellent narration performed by yours truly.
"What is it with people and replying to the narration?" Glorb sighed.
I have no idea, Glorb. Anyway, like I was saying, another explosion rocked the van. It was going to collapse!
"We need to make it out of the exploding barrel factory!" TBT shouted.
Suddenly, a shape fell through the ceiling, and landed hard in the truck.
"Hey, aren't you Goombario?" Glorb gasped.
"Yeah," he muttered, "I was fighting Hello Kitty, but then got kicked a long distance away and fell here."
"But Hello Kitty is in the future," Hyrulian protested.
"Eh, another plot hole, I expect," Goombario muttered monotonously, as another barrel exploded.
"Well, we're just trying to get out of this factory at the moment," TBT told him.
"I'll come with you," Goombario muttered.
"Me too," spoke the peaceful exploding barrel, "I hate it in this factory. All of the other barrels are too busy exploding, and I'm the only one that likes being peaceful."
"Okay," Glorb agreed, "but what is your name?"
"I dunno," it sighed.
"Okay, we'll call you Bob," Glorb told him.
"Why?" TBT muttered.
"Why not?" Hyrulian countered.
"Interesting name," Goombario sighed.
"Now, let's get out of here," Glorb yelled, jumping through the door, followed by his friends.
Can Ultima Shadow and Masher defeat Giant Hello Kitty? Will The Chef and Mario find their way through the terrible terrors of the air vents? What happened to Ghost Masher? And can The Blue Toad, Hyrulian, Glorb, Bob the Exploding Barrel and Goombario escape the horrors of the Exploding Barrels factory? Find out on the next thrilling episode of The Evil Bread!
-
Back To The Future... (Haha)
Masher: After this US, you're telling me what happened while I was at the bahamas
US: ... The er... bahamas don't exist in the Mushroom Kingdom...
Masher: Oh right... well, whatever we should pay attention to hel-
*Masher was then kicked into the horizen, probalby sending him to the past*
US: Oh crap... Well, here goes nothing!!!
*US and HK start fighting*
MEANWHILE... IN A VENT...
TChef: Erm... Mario? Where'd you go? ... oh great, now I'm lost in a ven- *Just then the floor beneath him opened up* AHHHH!!!!!!! *TChef lands in a giant Pop-Tart box, Mario is there as well*
Mario dances around, and... seems to want to tell TChef something...
TChef: I have no idea what you're saying...
Mario runs around in circles
TChef: Oh... kay... I'm just gona go over here and wait...
Mario knaws off a side of the box, revealing that they are in the past (Somehow) and of course that means everyone is back in the past... except US.
(Yay! the Knights are all back together! :D)
-
"Foolish Knight," snarled Hello Kitty, launching a rainbow strike at Ultima Shadow, who leapt out of the way.
"Rainbow Blast!" the cat laughed, launching a gargantuan beam at Ultima Shadow.
US jumped down to the ground as the blast soared overhead. The kitten stood there, satisfied.
"Ha, I won," HK laughed.
"Yeah, right," roared US, jumping in front of her.
Hello Kitty looked down, surprised, as Ultima Shadow leapt into the air, straight in front of her face. Suddenly, she blew a large gust of wind, sending US into a skyscraper where he lay on a destroyed desk.
"Ready to die?" HK asked.
Ultima Shadow backed away as the kitty came forward. Suddenly, he bumped into something under the table. With a shock he realised it was a camera. He picked it up, standing and holding it steady.
"You're going to fight me with a camera?" HK sneered, lunging forward.
Pressing the button carefully, a flash emnated from the bulb on the camera, causing Hello Kitty to stumble backwards, eyes closed. The Knight jumped forward ruthlessly, delivering several powerful punches to Hello Kitty's face.
"Ack!" HK cried.
US laughed, jumping on top of her head. The giant cat flailed wildly, trying to get the armored warrior off her head. He jumped into the air, ready to launch a powerful downwards punch.
"Beat this," US smirked.
As the punch was about to connect, Hello Kitty moved, eyes following the falling fighter. With a single swipe of her claws, she slashed at US. Her claws penetrated his skin, breaking several ribs and puncturing one of his lungs. Blood fell out of the wound as he fell, barely alive. With a sickening crunch, he collided with the ground, breathing heavily and badly injured.
"Beat it," Hello Kitty replied.
The Knight lay injured on the ground, eyes clenched shut.
"Need any help?" a voice laughed.
He looked up weakly, almost passing out. Above him stood a woman in an orange dress with brown hair.
"Daisy," he muttered.
She quickly dropped a Max Mushroom, and US grabbed it, absorbing it. Immediately, it healed his wounds. He still felt weak, but ready to fight.
"Another one to beat up?" HK laughed, running over and about to stomp on both Daisy and US.
"No," Daisy said shortly, picking up a Fire Flower.
The Fire Flower worked instantly- Daisy's dress turned from orange to a pale blue, and she launched a large fireball at Hello Kitty's stomach, launching her backwards.
"Heh," US laughed, "I thought you being a princess would have an effect on your fighting skills."
"Helps against Bowser," Daisy replied as they both readied themselves, "and they still won't let me into Super Smash Brothers, would you believe it?"
Ultima Shadow laughed. Daisy and himself had known each other for years, and both had grown up in Sarasaland as friends.
"By the way," Daisy continued, watching as Hello Kitty prepared another attack, "sorry for stabbing you with that Light Sword."
"Heh, that's okay," Ultima Shadow snickered.
"Had enough chatting yet?" HK snarled.
"Yep," Daisy confirmed, charging up a fireball.
Suddenly, Hello Kitty lunged forward, slamming her fist into the ground. Daisy went flying, dress reverting to orange and hitting an overturned car. She lay there, out cold.
"You're next," Hello Kitty muttered to Ultima Shadow.
Suddenly, Ultima Shadow noticed something on the ground near Daisy. Smiling, he realised it was a Mega Mushroom. He darted towards the Mushroom, picking it up. The energy flowed through his veins, and he grew in size. Hello Kitty gaped as Ultima Shadow grew in height, until he was as tall as her and just as furious.
-
And so, in a completely unrelated turn of events, the Five Knights Including Masher and Bob, Minus Ghost Masher and Ultima Shadow set out to find the source of the time rift Hello Kitty had created. "Okay," began Glorb, "according to this map, my calculations dictate that the Stargate should be five miles east of here." Hyrulian looked at him quizzically. "Stargate? Since when were we talking about Stargate? And besides, that's a map of Six Flags America."
Glorb scowled at nothing in particular. "But that gypsy siad this was a map of Mars!" The Blue Toad approached Hyrulian and whispered in his ear. "Psst, I think Glorb is going crazy. Let's put him in a crazy bucket." But Hyrulian had a hard time hearing because of the sudden burst of gunfire from behind them, followed by an insane laugh.
Who was laughing? Why is Glorb going insane? Who is shooting at the Knights? How are Stargates involved? Who is the gypsy Glorb was rambling about? What happened to that Nintendo Power issue I lost? Why am I asking YOU these questions? Find out the answers to one or two of these questions on the next episode of...THE...EVIL...BREEEEAAAAAAD!!!
-
Ultima Shadow punched Hello Kitty in the stomach, and she stepped back, coughing. Suddenly, she unleashed a huge rainbow blast, which caught US and threw him onto a McDonalds.
"Hah, you're doomed now," Hello Kitty smirked.
"It has to end soon," US muttered, getting back up, "this fight's been going on for far too many posts!"
Ultima Shadow picked up a skyscraper, brandishing it wildly. All of the people had left the city, making the perfect battleground for the huge warriors. Hello Kitty also picked up a building, holding it like a sword. Both let out a shout, running towards each other and fighting with swords! Except the swords were buildings!
"Wait," Hello Kitty gasped, "I don't know how to sword fight!"
At that, Ultima Shadow hit Hello Kitty hard with the building. This knocked her out, and she landed on the ground with a huge crash. Both of the warriors then sharnk back to their normal size.
"That's the end of that," US smirked, as the building he was carrying fell next to him, shrouding him in a cloud of dust.
-
Meanwhile, back in Arkansas, or wherever Glorb and the barrel and that thing and stuff were, stuff was happening. Oh, yeah, the fight with the laughing and stuff. Anyway, I forget exactly what happened by the Knights fought the laughing guy, turns out he was a clown with two chainsaws like that boss from Dead Rising, except with a minigun, or something. I wasn't personally there, so I can't really say.
And so the Knights And Masher And An Exploding Barrel Named Bob finally got to the Stargate in the Six Flags of America on Mars. "Man," said Glorb from inside the crazy bucket, "they're putting these amusement parks everywhere!" (rimshot) Hyrulian looked at the map. "Yep, we're here. Let me just get out my...AGH!" It turns out Hyrulians arm was missing.
"My arm! Holy crap! My arm's gone!" Hyrulian looked towards the rest of the Knights. "Masher, Bob, Chef, Glorb, Blue Toad? Why didn't you tell me my arm was missing?!" They all looked at their feet, feeling ashamed. Masher spoke up. "Well, we thought that we could get some extra money by selling your arm..." Hyrulian cut him off. "SELL my ARM?! For how much money? To buy WHAT?!" The Blue Toad pulled out a cool robot arm and handed it to Hyrulian. "We traded your arm and a plastic lady leg at LimbStop for this Terminator arm!" Hyrulian looked at it and put it on. "Hey, cool, it fits nicely! Now let's look for that Stargate..."
Glorb hopped after them. "Hey, wait, what reality are we in? The alternate one? Nothing's making any sense." But as he looked up, everyone except Masher was gone!
-
(Wait, what happened to Mario?)
-
"Ultima Shadow!" yelled a voice from above.
US looked up, surprised. Hovering above him was Ghost Masher!
"So you've returned?" US sneered.
"I never left," GM muttered, "but anyway! I know we're enemies, but the universe is going all weird and freaky and your friends are in danger!"
"O RLY?" the O RLY owl yelled.
"See what I mean? I propose that we become temporary allies." GM said.
US looked around- first at Ghost Masher, then the O RLY owl, then at the mysterious broccoli that had appeared from nowhere. Slowly, he nodded.
"Okay, what do we do about it?" US inquired.
"I dunno, I hoped you were going to tell me." GM exclaimed.
Ultima Shadow made a face that resembled a hyphen followed by an underscore then another hyphen, and then tried to think of a plan. A cunning plan so cunning that he hadn't even thought of it yet!
Three hours later...
"Got a plan?" GM asked.
"No." US replied.
Will Ultima Shadow think of a plan? Are the Knights really in grave danger? Is Mario still in the story? And wheres dezzer? Find out on the next awesomely written story that features the words 'Evil Bread'... The Evil Bread!
-
The Chef: Uh-oh, I sense a disturbance.....
Hyrulean: What's wrong?
The Chef: Well, first Masher, Glorb and TBT sold your arm, then we couldn't figure out what reality we're in, then Mario dissappeared....
Glorb: Mario?
The Chef: Yeah, he and I went to look for......... HOLY ****!!! WE FORGOT THE BLUE TOMATO!!!!!!!
Glorb: Blue Tomato?
The Blue Toad: Yes, TC and Mario went to find in order to fix the damage HK did to our reality...
TC: .....AND WE COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT IT!!!!!! It's obviously the cause of all the realiy-bending that's gone on in the last few posts!! now......
Masher: ...last few posts?
TC: See what I mean? The fouth wall has been shattered!
Bob: That can't be good....
TC: It isn't, nor is Glorb's memory loss or the O RLY owl in US's last post.....
Captain Obvious: We must find that tomato!!
All: ...
Will the knights find the location of The Blue Tomato? Will Ghost MAsher and Ultima Shadow finally think of a plan? What happened to Mario? Is there some new villain at work here? How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? Why did I ask that last question? Find out on the next... *narrator falls into a plothole*
-
"I've thought of a plan," GM laughed.
"Is it a good one?" Ultima Shadow asked, relieved.
"Yes," GM replied.
"Can I hear it?" US inquired.
"Of course," GM said. "First, we have to fix the plot holes, then save the Knights! Simple!"
"..." US yelled.
"How can one yell '...'?" GM laughed.
You weren't meant to hear that. Anyway... Ultima Shadow thought of a plan!
"I've got it!" US roared, "we'll just-"
And, suddenly, a plothole swallowed up Ultima Shadow, spitting up out on a mysterious planet.
"Where am I?" Ultima Shadow gasped.
"How are you gentlemen? All your base are belong to us. You are on the way to destruction."
"What you say?" US yelled, searching for the source of the noise.
"You have no chance to survive make your time," the voices continued.
Suddenly, about a hundred marshmallows descended from the skies, dressed as various Mario characters.
"Ha ha ha ha..." they laughed in unison, preparing to attack.
Will Ultima Shadow defeat the weird marshmallows? (wow, these plot holes are getting weirder) Can the other Knights be saved? And what will happen to Ghost Masher? Find out on the next riveting episode of... 60 Minutes.
-
Ghost Masher leaned on his beef jerkey cane and pondered, "What was that?" Then he looked down. "Why am I leaning on a cane made of beef jerkey?" Disposing of the offending meat, he looked down into the plot hole. It was very deep. Deeper than...something really deep. Yes, even deeper than that. So Ghost Masher whipped out his solid-gold Ninendo DS and called Glorb (with a DS?).
Glorb, still in his crazy bucket, answered on his Logitech wireless NES mouse (huh?). "Glorb speaking. Oh, hi, Ghost Masher. You want to speak to regular Masher? Lemme check..." Glorb surveyed the desolate Mars landscape, only to find nothing but a tumbleweed. "He's not here. Can I take a message? Okay...how do you spell that? P...L...O...T...H...O...L...E. Got it. Bye." Putting away the clapping-monkey alarm clock (I thought it was an NES mouse?), Glorb thought to himself, but out loud.
"How am I going to escape Mars? I guess I'll just have to look around." But his looking around came to a halt as he discovered a UAC testing facility!! Right next to a Six Flags America!
-
TC: Great, now Glorb is lost. You know what, you guys look for Glorb, while I scour this now screwed-up universe for The Blue Tomato.
Hyrulean: OK.
The Blue Toad: Wait! Where's Bob?
Masher: Uh-oh, looks like he fell into a plothole...
TC: We're running out of time! Let's split up and go, now!
-
*A few hours later, in some weird... area...*
Masher: We've been seaching this screwed up universe for like... forever...
TBT: ... Hey... where did Hyrulean go?
Hyrulean: I'm right here!
TBT & Masher: We can't see you!!
*Hyrulean starts to fade in and out, and starts talking, but extreamly low pitch and slow-mo"
Hyrulean: ()H N03S!! 1 TH1NK TE3 UN1V3RS3 15 F4771NG 4P4R1T
TBT & Masher: ...
*Hyrulean then becomes a pixleated blob*
"Glitch" Hyrulean: heuinf98H(AWH98dh(*HDHW98h98H98Ha(hDIAMSO1773MFESONF98VDDS0VJ
*A giant plot hole apears under TBT, Masher, and "Glitch" Hyrulean*
All: AHHHH!!!!
*All three fall into the plot hole, and end up in Glorbs crazy-bucket*
What will our heros do now? Are they cramped in that barrel? Will Hyrulean ever be cured of his... Glitchyness? And what in the world will happen next?
-
A small, shiny pink blob person walks onto a stage, clearing his throat.
"Hello, and welcome to the latest episode of... Death Ninja Fighting Halo Plate 2475 Dynasty." the blob announces, in a high voice.
"<3," announce a large crowd of fangirls.
"Indeed," the blob continues, one of his eyes doubling in size until his face looked like an 'O' followed by an underscore and then a zero. "Our first fighter tonight is Ultima Shadow, leader of the Star Hamster team."
From the ceiling dropped Ultima Shadow, dressed in a strange spacesuit emblazoned with a red hamster. He landed on the stage, to the right of the pink blob.
"Star Hamster? What kind of stupid team name is that?" US sighed.
"And our next fighter... Goodbye Puppy," the blob squeaked.
A large puppy with angry red eyes and large teeth drops from the ceiling as well, on the left of the blob.
"Let us see the arena for this battle," the blob said loudly.
A large blue mat descended from the ceiling, accompanied by spiralling smoke.
"Nice effects," the blob commented.
"Thanks," replied Master Chief, who was dressed in the uniform of the Brazilian soccer team and operating the smoke machine.
The mat hit the ground hard, causing an explosion to rock the stage. The blob fell over, before quickly getting up again, only to be laughed at by the spiralling smoke. It was not a mat at all, but a trampoline!
"A trampoline?" US gasped.
"Yes," the blob replied, "and whoever can bounce the lowest does not get the One Ring."
"Hold on!" Wario yelled from the audience, "this is stupid."
"Finally, someone on my side," US said.
"You can't try and get the One Ring without nachos!" Wario roared.
A large bowl of nachos descended from the ceiling, falling on top of the blob.
"..." announced everyone.
"I think it's his fault," Goodbye Puppy pouted, pointing to US.
"Yeah, it is," Master Chief agreed.
A moment of silence fell over the stage, before everyone- the fangirls, Goodbye Puppy, Master Chief, the evil marshmallows, Wario and the nachos began to chase US, who ran off the stage singing the theme song to Shrek... but in Spanish!
"Well, well, well," said Dry Bones, looking down at the situation via TV cameras, "Ultima Shadow's not having the best of luck, is he?"
"Definitely not," agreed Professor Dumbledore.
"Hey, why are we here?" Dry Bones asked.
"Because the universe is exploding into a multitude of plot holes, and nothing makes sense anymore," Dumbledore explained.
"We might be part of the plot holes," Dry Bones frowned, eating a chocolate chip biscuit, "but do we make sense?"
"We are," Dumbledore agreed, "everything is. Nothing is safe. And, no, we don't make sense, because you're not supposed to be able to talk, and I'm not supposed to know what's going on."
"=O," remarked Dry Bones.
-
All this happened as Glorb managed to burst out of the crazy bucket, followed by Hyrulian (who now spoke in Paper Clip), Masher, The Chef and a Slim Jim. However, negative two years had passed in the time it took for them to escape, and so they ended up near the cabin where it all started! The thing is, it was replaced by a slightly dilapidated white house!
Glorb opened the mailbox and took out the leaflet. “Hello sailor!” it read, “You have been recruited to perform in the daily Sailor Moon cosplay session on the moon. Bring your own oxygen.” As Glorb finished the word “oxygen”, the Five (excluding the Slim Jim, who wound up in Yonkers, New York) were transported to the moon, where a bunch of sailors dressed in moon outfits were standing.
“Oh, no no, honey,” said Glorb, “you’ve got it all wrong. Look’s like it’s time for another session of Glorb Eye For The Guy Dressed As A Moon!”
-
ooc: Sorry if you didn't get the part about The Chef, its his text, thats whats wrong with him.
Masher: I don't realize if this is realy posble and I M' rely computer
Hyrulian: Paperclip!!
*Just then the sailors turned into bannanas... except the third one from the right*
daed os era ew :rehsaM
?tahw :borlG
*Then a plothole apears and spits out a key*
The Chef: At least I have nothing wrong with me...
*Another plot hole spits out Mario holding a keyhole, and runs into the key*
Mario: Her-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e
*The game freezes*
WHAT WILL YOU DO NOW?
---Restart The Game---
---Kick Your Computer---
---Other?---
-
Rob-Bert: I choose Other, and by other, I mean find the guy who'd been misusing The Blue Tomato!
Bowser: Actually, it was me. I tried to take hold of reality in order to finally crush that pesky plumber! GwaHaHaHa!
Rob-Bert: You can't get away with this!
Bowser: But I already did! Lookee here...
*Bowser steps aside to reveal a machine with The Blue Tomato inside*
Rob-Bert: So that thing is amplifing the Tomato's power?
Bowser: Wha!? How'd ya know!?
Rob-Bert: Lucky guess.
Bowser: Well, as long as I have that machine up and running, I can bend reality however I want!
Rob-Bert: What if I did..... this! *throws eyebrow at the machine's core*
Bowser: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
The Blue Tomato splits open and an explosion of massive proportions occur. SO massive that all of reality is merged together, Crisis on Infinite Earths-style, thus causing the story to restart on a whole new note.
The New Evil Bread Legend
The Seven Knights of TMK: Glorb, The Blue Toad, Hyrulean, Ultima Shadow, Rob-Bert, Masher, and Super Mario, have formed and must rise against the threat of the Evil Lord Puppernickel and his underbosses: Hello Kitty, The Darkness Hedgehog Team, Pink Glorb and King Bowser, who are plotting to take over the universe with thier army of Evil Breadites.
(OK, I figured that it would best if I reinvented the story. In this variation, I am replaced by Rob and Mario is a part of our team. Puppernickel has returned as main villain and all the other villains are on his team. Just let me now if there are any other villains or characters I left out, OK guys?)
-
*Camra zooms onto a regular looking house, Goes inside an shows everyone The Chef mentioned playing Super Smash Bros*
Masher: We should... really save the world
Glorb: Nah, lets play a few more rounds
*Hours Pass*
*Everyone except Masher and Mario are asleep*
Masher: Hey Mario, how can you be here, AND in the game?
Mario: . . . . .
*Because of the laws of the universe, Mario randomly explodes, because it's not posible to be in two places at once*
Masher: That stinks
*A title opens with "Mario: The Evil Bread, Too?" and the Mario remix song plays*
Masher: Ooooh! Nice title!
-
(Now that that silly intro is out of the way, I'd like to let you guys know that this version of the story has less random crap and a bit more serious events. I want it to be thrilling. Maybe I should just make a whole new topic for it. Is that a good idea?)
-
HRRRMMM!!!
Straying from the oringinal topic could be... very... scary idea... I mean... this has been going on for a while... buttt...
Alright ;) you go ahead and make another topic for it. but if that one ever dies... oh... Yeah... you might wana go and get permistion from glorb before you go and do it... he is the maker and all!
-
That's what I was waiting for.
Approval List
Glorb:
Ultima Shadow:
The Blue Toad:
Hyrulean:
Masher: Yes
Any other suggestions are OK by me guys.
-
Eh, the pointlessness is really an important part of this story, (along with all of the plotholes). I'd have to think about it. My decision... pending. =O
-
But the story never used to be as random as it is now. Ya gotta have a good balance.
-
Yeah, but the randomness thing is part of the current story arc...but I agree, it's gotten a little too weird even for my tastes. So I vote yes, as long as the story is still silly and humorous, and there's a decent explanation for this incredible plot twist.
-
I don't see why we have to create a new topic, though. That being said... (I can always move this to another topic if need be :])
~~~
"Mwa ha ha!" Bowser laughed, walking around his castle while laughing. "I've thought of the best plan yet!"
"Are you going to kidnap Peach?" Kamek yawned.
Bowser suddenly looked angry, and stopped walking.
"Yeah," he retorted, "so what?"
"Well... those sorts of plans are getting a little old," Kamek replied. "Maybe a new plan?"
"Yes..." Bowser muttered... "why not kidnap Toad instead?"
"Or..." Kamek snickered, "why not take the Mushroom Kingdom by force?"
Bowser let out a laugh that shook the ceiling. Several rocks fell, almost squashing a passing Goomba.
"We'll take it by force!" Bowser yelled. "Kamek, round up the troops! We're attacking Peach's Castle!"
-
Bowser was so exited, he hopped up and down, so much that Kamek was sent flying out the window
"GAHHHHHH!!" Kamek cried.
Kamek fell into a well placed bucket of........ cleansing detergent!
Kamek screamed from the awful smell and died.
-
Glorb: Yes
Ultima Shadow: No
The Blue Toad: ?
Hyrulean: ?
Masher: No
Ok... sorry but... I'm reconsidering... I couldn't part with the randomness :D
```
Kamek then relised that the detergent was a new "Non-Awful-Smelling" brand of detergent, so she survived, except she was so angry at bowser, she turned him into a frog.
Bowser: *Ribit*
Kamek: You've almost killed me for the last time! If you want an assistant, go get a new one! Because I quit!
Bowser: *Ribit?*
-
(Masher, Kamek is a dude. You got him confused with Kammy)
So Kamek headed off for the Evil Lair of Lord Puppernickel, The True Master of Ph34r and Whatnot.
Inside the Lair...
Kamek: Hello? Is anyone here? I'd like to apply for a job...
Meanwhile, in the Mushroom Kingdom...
The Seven Kights of TMK were at a banquet at Peach's Castle, when all of a sudden, a frog with a red mane and horns entered the room.
To be continued in the next writer's post.
-
"Hmm, these pearls are shiny, see?" an excited voice muttered, inside Peach's room and holding aloft a white necklace.
"Yes, they are," agreed another voice, this one higher, "and if you help me take over the Mushroom Kingdom, you'll get as much money as you desire."
"I could get a lot from these," the first voice replied, grinning.
"You can never have enough money," taunted the second voice.
"Why would I want to team up with you?" the first voice answered- it was Popple.
"Because, like I said before," said the confident yet annoying voice of Bowser Jr, "you can never have enough money."
"I'm in," Popple said at once.
A large crash sounded from the door, and two figures burst into the room. One was tall and lanky, the other short and fat. Both of them wore overalls and hats, had crooked 'staches and generally looked like bad guys.
"We want in as well," Waluigi sneered.
"I liked the part about the money," Wario said greedily.
"The more the merrier," Bowser Jr laughed.
~~~
So, Bowser Jr's not working alongside his dad anymore. Can the little Koopa and his powerful new friends pose a threat to the Knights? Will Kamek become a part of Puppernickel's army? Will Bowser's assault be successful? And what happened to The Chef? Find out on the next riveting episode of The Evil Bread!
-
Glorb scratched his chin and yawned. “Hmmr…I really should get some sleep. In fact, I don’t think I’ve slept during this entire story.” Hyrulian stared at him strangely. “Glorb, we’re kinda in the middle of something here.” But his pleas fell on deaf ears…well, Glorb didn’t have ears, but you know what I mean. He was also asleep, so he didn’t hear him anyway.
However, all this nonsense was cut short when a large rumbling outside was heard (except by Glorb). Opening the door, the Knights (except Glorb) saw a small helicopter landing. Glorb quickly awoke with a start. “Oh, sweet! That must be my supplies!” The helicopter dropped a large crate and flew away, leaving said large crate for someone to open. Glorb jumped up and broke open the crate. However, what he found inside was certainly not what Glorb was expecting…
-
(A few little details: As I said before, this story is a re-imagining of the previous one, so I technically don't exist in the new continuity. As for where we are, Bowser is a frog and hopped all the way to Peach's Castle where the Seven Knights are. Kamek is applying for a new job at Lord Puppernickel's place, and Bowser Jr. formed an alliance with Popple and the Wario Bros. Just remember, you guys are free to continue any of these arcs, just don't forget about them. Also, try not to start too many arcs at one time. I want this story to have a smooth run.)
At Lord Puppernickel's place...
Kamek: ...hello?
???: Aha, I see a new applicant has arrived.
Kamek: Eh?
???: Just sit tight in the waiting area until further notice.
(Kamek sits on a nearby couch and picks up a back issue from the magazine pile on the coffee table in front of him)
To be continued in the next post...
-
A grey room, illuminated dully by flourescent lights, was filled with various enemies. They were seated at the table, and, at the head of the table was Bowser Junior.
"Firstly, you shall refer to me as Prince Bowser," BJ sneered, "or Prince for short. It sounds a bit familiar, sure, but it's cooler."
"Right," said Wario, "when do we get to the money?"
"I don't care about money," said the purple form of Tatanga, "I just want to beat Mario!"
"I don't care about beating Mario," retorted Popple, "I just want money!"
"Enough!" Wart roared. "If we're to invade the Mushroom Kingdom, then we need a plan."
"And," asked Boshi, "what will happen when we have control?"
Silence met Boshi's statement as the villains realised just how half-baked their plan was.
"We can control the various parts of the Mushroom Kingdom," explained Prince Bowser, "and we shall become the seven kings of the Mushroom Kingdom!"
"I like the sound of that," Waluigi murmured.
"So, we'll gather all of our troops, and we'll take Peach's Castle," Prince Bowser laughed, "the head of the Mushroom Kingdom."
"Sounds like a plan," Boshi smiled.
Will the plan of the seven villains succeed? What's in the crate? Will Kamek team up with Puppernickel? And did Mario notice the ad in the newspaper for 'Powerful Villains for control of Mushroom Kingdom'? (which, by the way, was answered by Boshi, Wart and Tatanga). Find out on the next awesome installment of The Evil Bread!
-
Um, just a few things.
1) Where'd all this Mario-ness come from? I'm not 100% complaining, but this new continuity has brought with it a ton of Mario crossovers that seem to come out of positively nowhere.
2) Chef, how come you keep writing the story like an RPG? It can get a little jarring with the constant switching from normal, book-like narration to a character's name, followed by some dialogue and then narration in parentheses. Also, it's Pumpernickel, not Puppernickel.
3) What ever happened to The Blue Toad and Hyrulian? I think we should've gotten their opinions before the revamp.
Hmm...actually, I think I'm getting a little too serious here. Anyway, just a little bit of my thoughts, no real criticisms (I think).
-
1) I didn't intend for the Mario-ness, I just thought Mario would make a good addition to the Knights. Ultima Shadow came up with the idea of there being a Mario theme this time around. Maybe we can start another theme once his arc is finished.
2)The script-style is easiest for me, nut I guess I should change it for the sake of uniformness. Also, we've been spelling it as "Puppernickel" since the beginning, haven't we?
3)I don't know where they've been. Apparently they don't post here anymore. So it probably doesn't matter if we got their consent on the re-imagining. Should we write their characters out of the story? Or keep them in for prosperity?
-
Should we write their characters out of the story? Or keep them in for prosperity?
That, In my opinion, is a definate NO. Sorry, but I think loseing 2 of the knights would be... bad, who knows how many people would try and replace them?
Bowser: Er... no! I'm er... L...Luigi!!! See? *puts on a fake mustash* Its-a me! Luigi!
Masher: Can I see your I-D?
Bowser: I-D?! I didn't read anything about an I-D!!
Masher: ...
Well back to the real story...
Frog Bowser: Ribit, Riiibiiit!!! (Hey! down here, idiots!)
Glorb: Hey look! a frog!... With spikes and hair?
Masher: If I didn't know any better, that frog could be bowser!
TBT: Naw... Lets keep him!
The Chef Whoever you are now: Lets name him Freddy!!
All: Awwww...
*F. Bowser jumps onto TBT's face*
TBT: Ow! get off!!
Masher: I think he loves you! You should be his freind.
-
Sounds of hustle and/or bustle emnated from the busy Yoshi Market as the dinosaur-like creatures set about buying fruit, vegetables and other supplies essential for healthy living. Generally, the village was a calm and peaceful place, but not for long.
"(Apples! Get your apples!)" yelled a red Yoshi, surrounded by a crowd of other Yoshis.
Suddenly, a solitary yellow Yoshi ran past the stall, screaming.
"(Slow down!)" said the red Yoshi, "(what's going on?)"
"(Tons of enemies,)" the yellow Yoshi panted.
"(What?)" said our favourite Yoshi... Yoshi.
"(See for yourself,)" replied the yellow Yoshi.
Several thousand enemies darted across the town square, all yelling. There were tons of them- Goombas, Koopas, Bob-ombs, Shy Guys, Beanies, and several Birdo.
"Mwa ha ha!" yelled a Mouser, throwing a bomb into the air, where it exploded into a red seven-pointed star.
"Attack!" yelled Boshi, who was at the front of the group.
"(Yoshi, go get help!)" yelled the yellow Yoshi, "(you're one of the best runners on this island!)"
"(Right,)" Yoshi replied, beginning his journey.
-
Before Yoshi began, he shoved a playing card into his mouth, and shot it at a multi-colored yoshi, then begins his journey. But at the last second, a small chair starts to follow him.
"What do you want?" yoshi asked.
"I just wanted to come along with you!" The chair replied.
"Alrighty!" yoshi exclaimed. "I think i'll call you....... Chair!"
The two walked into a forest path.
-
What the heck was that? Did you even read what I posted about this story?
-
Well, I tried....
-
This story has rules, ya know. You can't just come in and post whatever you want. It's like the OG's at VGF and Gamehiker.
-
But I just continued US's story! Was it really that much senseless crap?? All I did was add a chair to come along with Yoshi....
-
Whoops. >_<
Didn't even realize that. I apologize if I was too harsh.
-
Just as Yoshi and Chair entered the woods, a large tree trunk landed on Chair, killing it.
"Meh, He had a good run" Yoshi replied.
With the last chunk of utter wierdness and pointlesness gone, Yoshi walked, walked in a normal, bland fashion, nothing stupid or unexpected happening. Until he spotted a small village on the horizon.
How's that? Enough orderedly and simple for you? TC? Does it follow all the rules?
-
Yep. Just remember not to stray to far from the other story arcs, and here's another thing I forgot to mention, be sure to keep the characters... in character.Don't make them go through sudden personality changes (this means you, Masher).
At Puppernickel's place...
Kamek sat until the voice on the intercom said "Lord Puppernickel will see you now, Mr. Kamek".
Hearing this, Kamek thought to himself "How did they know my name?". His suspicions grew as he got up from the couch and walked slowly into the now open door...
Meanwhile, at Peach's Castle...
The Blue Toad had trouble getting the strange frog off his face. "Here, let me give you a hand" said Rob. The the frog jumped toward Mario and spat a ball of fire at him. "Mama mia!" cried Mario. "Uh-oh," said Glorb, "I think I know who that frog is...". "It's me! Bowser! King of the Koopa!!" said Frog-Bowser. " I was gonna tell you, but I couldn't resist spittin' a hot one in ol' fatso's face! GwaHaHaHa!!" Ultima Shadow giggled at this "Ha, that was good one", then got slapped in the back of the head by Hyrulean. " So, Bowser, howcome you're a frog?" asked Masher. "It's a long story..." started Bowser.
To be continued in the next post.
PS: I was thinking of writing you into the story SB, but how do you want that to take place?
-
Gee, I dunno. Anyway....
Kamek walked through a long narrow hallway. With lots of wierd paintings on the walls.
"this is the worst place yet" Kamek trembled.
He finally saw a large door at the end, he entered with caution.
He was in a large chamber, a large , bonfire, pedstal kind of thing. He spotted a throne at the end.
"Ummm, Hello?" He asked, not realiazing, that no one was there
"Hmmmmmm"
Kamek walked to the throne, he frowned.
"this stinks, these people are really off schedule" He kicked the side of the throne. A large rumble could be heard, he looked to the side,a large passageway was open.
Kamek gasped, he thought to himself, should I?
Back at Peach's Castle.
"And that's what happened" Bowser, just finishing his looong story.
"Hmmmm, it seems pretty real" Hyrulean said
Everyone nodded in agreement.
"what do we do now?" Masher asked.
"Let the next poster decide that one!" TBT answered.
Now For A Commercial Break!
"Save money by digging your own grave!!"
-
"(Toad Town,)" muttered Yoshi, coming to a halt in the small village.
Much like Yoshi Village, Toad Town was a bustling hive of activity, the high voices of the species filling the air. Yoshi took a deep breath.
"(A PACK OF ENEMIES LED BY SEVEN EVIL KINGS THAT WANT TO TAKE OVER THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM ARE ATTACKING YOSHI'S ISLAND AND THEY COULD BE HERE NEXT!!!)" he screamed, and the Toads went into a frenzy.
"(Great,)" Yoshi mumbled, as two Toads ran into each other, knocking both of them out.
Unfortunately, no-one noticed the army running over the hills, roaring angrily, until it was too late.
~~~
"Um..." Frog Bowser muttered, sitting there quietly.
Ultima Shadow let out a yawn, leaning against the wall. Hyrulian had bought in a small toy soccer ball, and was kicking it to Rob, TBT, Glorb and Masher. However, Mario was glaring at Frog Bowser.
"Why are you here?" Mario snarled.
"I guess I had to take over," FB explained, "but you're all so big."
"Ahaha! I'll stop that evil frog!" yelled a mysterious voice.
The wall next to Ultima Shadow exploded, sending him flying. A mysterious person wearing a blue superhero outfit with a fish on it jumped into the room, cape billowing behind him. He then proceeded to land a quick flurry of karate moves upon Frog Bowser, and uppercutted him into the sky.
"No need to thank me," the superhero laughed, "for I am SushieBoy!"
SushieBoy then leapt out through the hole in the wall, past a very confused Ultima Shadow. In the middle of the room, Frog Bowser landed roughly, letting out a squeak of pain.
"Well, I didn't see that coming," The Blue Toad said.
Suddenly, a tired Yoshi ran into the room- it was none other than Yoshi!
"(Some army is now attacking Toad Town,)" Yoshi panted, "(and they're heading for Peach's Castle!)"
"Mamma mia!" shouted Mario, who could understand Yoshi's language.
"Um... my son wouldn't happen to be in that army, would he?" FB piped up.
Silence fell over the room.
"(Yes,)" Yoshi said.
"Yes," Mario translated.
"Well, I found plans for an invasion of Peach's Castle in his room," FB explained, "I thought they were just kiddy drawings."
"You're kidding," Rob muttered.
"We need to stop them," The Blue Toad roared, "before it's too late!"
The Seven Knights, Frog Bowser and Yoshi then darted through the hole in the wall and out of the castle, preparing to meet this fearsome army.
-
Leaving SushieBoy in the castle all by his lonesome.
Back at Puppernickels place.
Kamek had decided, he stumbled into the secret passageway. It was a tad short, a large stone, staircase soon towered below, at the bottom, Kamek spotted a glimpse of Puppernickel, laughing evily.
"Now all the plans are complete!" he roared. "The armies are set, the plans are complete, now there is nothing in the way for me to..... Raid Peach's Castle!!!!"
Kamek gasped once again, unfortounetly, Puppernickel spotted him, his face, boiling with anger, he charged straight to kamek. Luckily, he spelled Puppernickle and froze him! Kamek escaped just in time.
"I have to warn them!" Kamek speeding off into the horizon.
Back At the Castle:
SushieBoy was marching back and forth, seemed to be guarding the castle. Then his Sushie Senses tingled! He quickly spotted Kamek!
"Who are you!" SushieBoy demanded " Speak up!"
"I need to see the Princess! " Kamek snapped "To warn them!"
"they are long gone!" SuishieBoy shot back.
"Drats" Kamek sighed "Well, at least tell me whe" The castle ground trembled and shook, the floor started to open, reavealing..... Puppernickels army! SushieBoy and Kamek quickly darted into the castle.
-
NOTE: Actually, you already left the castle after beating Frog Bowser senseless.
An Albatoss soared over the Knights.
"Hey! Blue Toad! Above you!" Hyrulian shouted.
The Blue Toad grasped his axe, leaping up into the air and preparing a mighty swipe. With a loud cry, he brought his axe down on the bird thingy, and it spiralled downwards. However, that left him open to an aerial assault from a Paratroopa, which knocked him and his axe in different directions. Ultima Shadow leapt into the air, catching the axe swiftly and promptly going into a forwards roll, much like Shadow's. It knocked the Paratroopa further into the sky. The axe-wielding weirdo (OOC: =]) landed on the ground, and handed the axe back to TBT.
"That's a new move," TBT said dryly.
"Thanks," said US, narrowly dodging a Bullet Bill, "I've been working on it, and this armor can mimick some of Shadow's moves, as well as some of my own."
Suddenly, a Banzai Bill soared towards TBT and US, leaving them no time to dodge. A red and yellow blur soared from above, blasting into the Banzai Bill and knocking it into the ground, utterly useless. The blur landed as well, revealing itself to be Caped Mario.
"Mwa ha ha!" yelled Wario, charging towards Mario and knocking him forwards, into US and TBT.
"Mwa ha ha this," Glorb snarled, falling rapidly and kicking Wario in the head, "Mario's not the only one who can jump."
"Hey! Don't hit my bro!" Waluigi roared, charging up a purple fireball.
Glorb let out a gulp as the lanky rip-off threw it towards him at point-blank range, but the attack was blocked by a mysterious green shield, formed by none other than Masher!
"Glad to be of assistance," Masher smirked, launching the barrier forward and knocking Waluigi off his feet.
However, several more enemies ran towards them- Goombas, Koopas, Bob-ombs, Magikoopas, and many more foes! Masher gulped. This wasn't going to end well.
"Um, any plans?" Mario asked, as he, TBT and US backed up behind them.
"This!" Hyrulian roared, coming out of nowhere and playing an awesome note on his magical guitar!
The note blasted through the air, an amalgamation (sp?) of the many awesome songs played over the years. It was too much for the enemies, as they fell to the ground, singing random lyrics. Some enemies were left, either too scared or smart to approach.
"Well, this was fun," Rob muttered, walking up behind them.
"Where were you?" Mario asked.
"Another army is attacking Peach's Castle," Rob explained, "thought you might want to know."
Upon hearing this, the army of the Seven Kings approached, confident in their abilities. Behind them, Puppernickel's army approached, chasing off a very intimidated Kamek and battle-ready SushieBoy. Puppernickel's army had more power, but the Army of the Seven Kings had much more in numbers.
"This is not looking good," Glorb groaned.
The Knights, SushieBoy and Kamek all backed into a circle, watching the two armies preparing their attacks.
"And that last note was a serious drain on my energy," Hyrulian muttered, glaring at the armies.
Can the Seven Knights, SushieBoy and Kamek stop these forces? Were Wario and Waluigi KOed? And does The Chef really not exist in this story anymore? Well, no, he doesn't. Wait, why did I ask that?
-
(Dang, US, you're like, the best writer out of all of us.)
"Wait, I have an idea" said Rob. "Well then, speak up!" said Mario. "We'll split into factions. Glorb, US, TBT and Kamek will make up Faction A, and Hyrulean, Masher, Mario and SB will make up Faction 1. Me, well, I don't have any powers, but I do know of a way to stop them while you guys hold them off. This OK?"
"Sounds good to me" said Glorb as he got into a fighting pose. "But what is this 'way' you said you had to stop them?" asked US. "Don't worry about that, just hold them off until I get back" replied Rob.
Will Faction A and Faction 1 be able to hold off the two armies? What does Rob have planned? Find out in the next post!
(Actually, it would be best if you guys didn't focus on Rob's end of the plan. Just leave that to me.)
-
Fraction A kept some baddies at bay, while Kamek focused his power. TBT slashing through rows of enemies with his axe. US and Glorb bouncing on shells, to crush some of the smaller enemies. Then it happened, Kamek unleased a powerful spell, more like a rip off of Din's fire.
"Take Cover!" He shouted. Everyone ducked, glorb jumped into a ditch. a wave of firey showered about the area, lighting many bob-ombs. the exploshions then occured, it was one after another, but the army seemed to be gone afterwards.
"that was wayyyy too easy!" TBT replied
"Yeah" Glorb said "too easy..." Glorb shifts his eyes suspiciously.
-
Suddenly, the enemies rose again, battered and bruised but still ready to fight.
"You're kidding," Ultima Shadow muttered.
"You didn't think that we didn't have a Plan B, did you?" Wart snickered.
However, there was something different about the enemies. They had a blank look in their eyes, and many of them were smoking (as if they'd just been lit on fire, not the other way xP). Something was up.
"I've seen this before," Kamek gasped.
"Of course you have," Prince Bowser laughed. "They're zombies!"
"Who cares?" Kamek muttered, charging up a fireball with his wand, "either way, they're toast."
Before Kamek could release the spell, a Paratroopa soared from above, and spat a fireball at Kamek. It hit his robe, setting it on fire.
"Aaah!" Kamek screamed, releasing a spout of water from his wand to put out the flame while Hyrulian laughed.
"Alright... hey! Hyrulian! Glorb! Masher! Let's use an Ice Flower!" Mario shouted, pulling one out.
"Right," Masher agreed, getting into position.
The four stood in a row, and Mario allowed the flower to be absorbed. Icy energy was transferred into all of them, and they held their hands back, blue spheres of energy forming in them. In unison, the four warriors launched attack after attack at the army of zombies, but it seemed to have little effect.
"Time to do this the old fashioned way!" Ultima Shadow smirked, dark armor gleaming.
He and The Blue Toad ran forwards, and then began their attack- US curled into a ball and span quickly towards the enemies, while The Blue Toad swung his axe endlessly. However, TBT's axe didn't work, and US' spindash seemed to have little effect. Above them on a magic carpet, Wart let out a burp, and a bubble floated towards Ultima Shadow, capturing him inside.
"This is disgusting," US muttered.
"Um, not working," TBT announced, stepping back to his allies- apart from the bubble-surrounded US.
Suddenly, the hands of some of the enemies were surrounded with fire.
"Bad idea, using a fire attack on them, Kamek," Wario sneered, "you can still join us."
"What now?" SB asked.
"I hoped you would tell me," Hyrulian muttered.
"Halt!" yelled a voice, and something landed on the ground behind them.
In unison, the Knights (minus US), SushieBoy and Kamek turned to face it. It was none other than Puppernickel!
"Make way for the powerful Puppernickel," Puppernickel snarled.
"And who are you?" TBT roared.
Puppernickel smiled evilly, his incisors taunting the Knights.
"Don't you remember me?" Puppernickel laughed.
"Obviously not," Mario retorted.
"No matter," Puppernickel said quietly, "I'd rather let you die confused instead of explaining."
"That's all well and good," US shouted, who was still in the bubble but facing away from Puppernickel, "but can someone tell me what's going on?"
"Like I said," Puppernickel scowled, "There is no time for explanations. And, now, with my zombie army, I can rule the world!"
"Hey, we were ruling it first!" Prince Bowser pouted.
"That's right," Boshi scowled.
Puppernickel looked up at the misfit team of villains, made up of Prince Bowser, Boshi, Wario, Waluigi, Tatanga, Popple and Wart, and let out a hearty laugh.
"And who are you?" Puppernickel snarled.
"We are the Seven Kings!" they answered in unison.
Both sides glared at each other, seemingly ignoring the Knights, SushieBoy and Kamek.
"Well, I have the upper hand," Puppernickel roared, "for there is a traitor amongst one of our groups. You have played your part well, Kamek."
"Thank you, my Lord," Kamek bowed, "It was my honour to serve you."
Silence fell once more.
"You traitor!" Hyrulian shouted, charging towards Kamek.
Kamek only swung his wand once, knocking Hyrulian back with a gust of wind.
"Ah, but our plan is now complete," Kamek grinned, "for Peach's Castle has been conquered."
The Knights looked over at the castle, which lay in ruins. Kamek laughed, along with Puppernickel and his army.
"We also have a hostage," Puppernickel smirked, pointing to Ultima Shadow in the sky.
"You tricked me into blowing that bubble!" Wart bellowed.
"Mind control," Kamek explained, "subtlety was never my strong point. But it worked, did it not? This entire fight was orchestrated from the beginning by yours truly. And now, I bid you good day."
With that, Kamek raised his wand. He, Puppernickel, Puppernickel's entire zombie army and Ultima Shadow disappeared in a flash of light. Once more, silence fell over the two remaining groups as they realised that they had been completely and utterly outmatched.
Will they find Puppernickel? Can Ultima Shadow be recovered? And how does Puppernickel recognise the Knights despite never having seen them before? Could anyone have possibly survived the cataclysmic explosion that reformed reality after the plot hole disaster? Find out on the next exciting episode of THE. EVIL. BREAD!!
-
Meanwhile, where Rob is...
"This has got to work" said Rob to himself as he ran and ran. He kept on running. Once he got there, the problem would be solved. He just hoped he could still make it, as he wasn't the best runner around.
To be continued in my next post, you guys focus on the rest of the plot.
-
"You got served, see?" Popple sneered at the Knights and SushieBoy.
"Hey, so did you," Hyrulian replied.
"Hey, be quiet," Popple retorted.
"Ooh, watch out, Hyrulian," TBT muttered sarcastically, "you just saw the bad side of Mr. Maturity here."
"We need to figure out a plan!" Frog Bowser squeaked.
"No need for plans," SushieBoy announced, "for Puppernickel is no match for I, SushieBoy!"
"ENOUGH!" Masher roared.
Everyone was immediately silent, eyes fixed on Masher. He cleared his throat.
"Puppernickel recognised us from somewhere, right?" he asked.
Wario nodded in agreement, only to be hit over the head by Waluigi.
"Get to the point!" Waluigi roared.
"Well, I saw inside his head," Masher explained, "and saw all of these scenarios that contained us, the Knights, except with some key differences."
An explosion resounded throughout the landscape- was it possible that more of Puppernickel's army was coming?
"Mario and Rob weren't there."
Stampeding was heard shortly afterwards, and yelling as well. They were coming.
"There was a mysterious Chef-like person."
The Army of the Seven Kings were preparing to attack, becoming impatient with the long explanation. Puppernickel's army was only about a hundred metres away now.
"And the scenarios never happened."
~~~
"Hey, what are you doing?" called Ultima Shadow, who was stuck on a wall by chains.
A helmet was placed on his head, and his eyes frantically searched the room. Puppernickel stood at the back, sneering. In front of him, and next to a machine, was Kamek, wand drawn and preparing to cast a spell.
"Time for a blast from the past," Puppernickel mused.
Kamek let a single sphere of energy release from the tip of his wand, and it sped into the heart of the machine. Sparks shot up a wire, and "I am... All of Me" from Shadow the Hedgehog began to play as background music. The wire, of course, was connected to the helmet, and Ultima Shadow let out a yell. Flashes of light shot from the helmet, and the knight continued to yell. Finally, it all stopped, and US fell from the now-loose chains and helmet and onto the ground.
"Do you remember me now?" Puppernickel taunted him, walking over.
Ultima Shadow looked up from the ground, bruised but grinning. His breathing was ragged but fast, and he let out a laugh. US' eyes glowed an unnatural red colour, and sparks shot over his tired form and beaten armor.
"Of course I remember you," US snickered, "you're Puppernickel."
"And who are you?"
Ultima Shadow grinned once more.
"My name is Ultimate Shadow Lord."
Has Ultima Shadow been brainwashed into joining Puppernickel? Again? What is Rob's plan? Can the Knights stand up to another assault from two armies at once? And what will happen next in Kamek's complicated plan? Find out on the next episode of The Evil Bread!
-
OOC: Hey everyone, I'm back from my Thanksgiveing vacation, and so I would post... if I understood what was going on, I'm just going to re-read the last few posts. so you might suspect a double post from me, orrrr... meh.
-
A Breadite leapt into the air, letting out a yell. However, Hyrulian laughed, readying his guitar.
"Time to pound you guys into dough!" Hyrulian roared, commencing the attack.
Breadite after Breadite fell as the Knight tore through their ranks, hitting and playing rapidly.
"Hey, they're easier to take down now," Mario mused, wiping out a whole row with his guitar.
"Haha, yeah," TBT snickered, chopping the front row in half- literally.
"Wow, that attack was the best thing since sliced bread," Glorb smirked, stopping beside TBT and referring to his attack.
"Please, no puns," groaned The Blue Toad.
"Outta my way!" yelled Wario.
Just in time, two of the Knights leapt to the side as Wario charged through, knocking out Breadite after Breadite. Several of them looked spooked.
"Don't worry, they'll tire eventually," one of them roared.
"Says you," replied Glorb, firing his Desert Eagle and sending the Breadite backwards.
Above all of the chaos, Masher hovered, held aloft by his psychic energy. His eyes were closed as he prepared a deadly psychic attack.
"Hey, you ready yet, psycho?" Prince Bowser bellowed.
Masher's eyes shot open in irritation, and he gazed down at the young prince. Immediately, he was lifted into the air, hung by a scaly leg.
"I'm a psychic," the Knight growled, "and give me a few more minutes. I have to focus."
At that, Prince Bowser fell from the air, landing hard on the ground. However, it didn't take long.
"NOW!" Masher roared.
All of the warriors stepped back, leaving Masher's way clear. Several pulses of energy emnated from his form, and they grew in size, intensity, power and speed. Eventually, they reached the ground, pushing back the enemy soldiers with frightening power.
"Retreat!" one of the Breadites screamed, despite the fact that it was retreating anyway whether it liked it or not.
Suddenly, with a huge explosion, the Breadites were blown into the sunset, never to be seen again. Masher descended slowly, feet hitting the ground.
"Wow," Mario gasped, but obviously thought that was inadequate and therefore decided to repeat himself. "WOW."
"That was brilliant, see," Popple admitted.
"It was," agreed Glorb.
"Now," TBT muttered, "we need to save Ultima. Are you guys going to come with us?"
"Do we have a choice?" groaned Prince Bowser.
"Well, if you really--"
"All I needed to hear," smirked the Koopa, "Army, we're going to Puppernickel's. We're getting revenge!"
The Army of the Seven Kings let out a 'hurrah' as their leader marched north proudly, and they followed.
"Um, the castle is this way," sighed Glorb, pointing south.
Silence fell.
"Testing you," Tatanga muttered at last, "can we get to that castle already? That castle is impressive, I've seen it. And I want it."
"Whatever, let's just go," Hyrulian muttered, and everyone marched south.
Everyone, that is, except for Mario and Wario. Wario glared at the Mario Brother.
"After this is over, we settle our differences," Wario growled.
Mario looked back at the fatter plumber, who had narrowed eyes.
"Fine with me," Mario replied confidently, nodding his head.
"Race ya," Wario laughed, gazing ahead at the travelling army and beginning to run.
"Wario, you couldn't outrun a Goomba," Mario laughed, running as well and easily catching up.
After the landscape was clear, a mysterious person stepped out from behind a part of Peach's Castle.
"Those fools," it said softly, "you let your guard down. BreadElites! Let's go!"
Another army of Breadites faded into existence from nowhere, but they were tougher. They were also varied in power, weight, size and many other things. Letting out a single roar together, they continued forwards towards the other army, lead by the mysterious person.
So, the battle's not over after all... but who is this mysterious person? Just how powerful are the BreadElites? Can the Knights find Puppernickel's castle? And if so, what horrors will they find there? Find out on the next awesome episode of THE EVIL MUFFIN... um, bread. ^_^'
-
As the mysterious figure (Mysterious figure #18 in this story, to be exact) marched through the forest, he noticed a pile of broken chair pieces underneath a large branch. "Oh," he said out loud, holding up a hand to halt the marching of his army, "now who would do this to a poor little chair?" Picking up the branch, he cast a spell on the chair pieces. After a second, the morphed together into a large, black, menacing throne!
With all these spiky things on it!
And bat wings!
"Mwahaha!" Said the figure, "I think I'll call you...Throney! You shall be my second-in-command!" Pushing his existing second-in-command off a cliff, he pet Throney's head (or whatever passes for a head on a chair), causing it to wag its tail.
-
So the mysterious figure and "Throney" sat back and watched as the army of BreadElites marched towards the other army.
Meanwhiles...
Rob stopped. "This is it" he said as he looked up at the sign. "Tomatoland" he repeated to himself. Tomatoland was quite a sight to see. There was tomato-themed stuff everywhere. A tomato juice waterfall, a ketchup fountain, and tomato patches all over the place. There were also Tomatites, little good-natured tomatoes with faces, arms, and legs. However, Rob had been here before, and this time it wasn't for sight-seeing.
What does Rob's plan have to do with Tomatoland? Will the rest of the Knights make it to Puppernickel's castle and back again in time to fight the Mysterious Figure? Who is the Mysterious Figure anyway? Find out next time!
-
Kamek stood on the balcony, gazing out over the horizon in a rare moment of calm. However, this quickly turned to panic- an army was coming.
"Lord Puppernickel!" Kamek barked, "an army is coming!"
"Kamek, you worry too much," USL snickered, walking beside him.
"But," Kamek gasped, "they- they--"
"Puppernickel's already prepared," said USL smoothly, "The BreadElites are on their tail."
"That's right," Puppernickel cackled, walking up behind them, and then turning to Ultimate Shadow Lord. "I have a task for you."
"Let me guess," the Knight-turned-evil sighed, "you want me to face my former comrades?"
"In a way," Puppernickel admitted, "we want you to go into an alternate universe and find someone called 'The Chef'."
"What a silly name," USL sneered.
"While you are there," Puppernickel laughed, "there are seven objects in this other world called Chaos Emeralds. They exist in this world as well, but are possessed by a powerful warrior. They can dramatically increase the power of the one who has them, and I modified your armor to absorb them."
"Gotcha," USL replied, "anything else?"
Kamek walked over to a control panel back inside, while Puppernickel pulled a blue circle out of his pocket.
"A communicator," Puppernickel explained, "use it in times of great peril."
A blue spiral appeared near Kamek, simulatenously welcoming yet frightening. Without hesitation, Ultimate Shadow Lord ran through the room, and leapt into the air. He then jumped, and disappeared into the warp.
"That fool," Kamek laughed.
"Yes," Puppernickel agreed, "little does he know that there are Knights in that universe, too."
~~~
The mysterious figure laughed as the BreadElites approached.
"They will never forget my name," it snickered, "for I am..."
~~~
Will the BreadElites catch up to the Knights and the Army of the Seven Kings? Just who is the mysterious figure? Will Ultimate Shadow Lord succeed in his quest to locate the Chaos Emeralds? Was it truly that smart for Puppernickel and Kamek to send the former Knight into an alternate dimension? What is Rob's plan? And, finally, will The Chef be found? Find out on the next episode of The Simpsons!
-
One of the Breadites tapped on the mysterious figure's shoulder. "Umm...you were saying?" The mysterious figure's eyes opened. "Nywagh? Huh? *snort* Oh, um....dozed off there a second...lemme see...where was I?" The Breadite pointed at a piece of paper.
"Oh, yes. My name. For I am --" But a loud thunderclap cut off his speech. "Agh! Enough with the distractions! For my name is --" However, his speech was again cut off, this time by a beepy MIDI rendition of "Turn Up The Radio" by Autograph. The figure waited a few seconds to sing along, then answered. "Hello, mysterious figure speaking. Hmm? Oh, them? Yes, I'm leading the army there right now. What? Look, this isn't the time. Huh...What?! No! Of course I didn't! Man, why do you hold a grudge over something I didn't do? Ugh, look can we just talk about this another time? Okay, fine. Bye."
With a flip of his flip-phone, the mysterious figure sighed, then turned towards his troops, who were all engaged in a massive pillow fight during the call. "Okay, look, we've got about twenty minutes to get to the rondezvous point, so quit slackin'! Let's move!" The figure then continued leading his troops across the countryside, or wherever it was he was leading them across, or to, or whatever.
-
Geez, Glorb, if you can't remember what's going on, then maybe you should refrain from posting for a while.
At Tomatoland...
Rob looked around for a moment. He then asked a nearby Tomatite, "Any idea where Tammy is?". "Sure thing, mister, she's over by the day-care center." "I thought so" replied Rob, "thanks". "Any time" said the Tomatite.
So Rob over to the Tomatoland Center for Little Tomatites. Once inside he saw her. She was a human girl of the same age as Rob, and she wore a red green outfit with an odd-looking Tomato-shaped headpiece that obscured her hair. "Tammy!" Rob called. "Oh, hi Rob" said Tammy. "Look, I don't have lot of time. I ran all the way here and my legs are killing me, so listen" said Rob. Tammy leaned closer. Rob started in his clearest voice, "I need to see The Blue Tomato"
DUN DUN DUN. The Blue Tomato! Is this really what Rob's plan is all about? Is there more to it? and what about Puppernickel, USL, The Knights and the Mysterious Figure? Find out!
-
A Goomba, walking slightly behind the rest of the group, turned around for a second- and noticed the BreadElites.
"AAAAAAH!" the Goomba screamed.
"Be quiet, you stupid Goomba!" Wart screeched.
"There's an army coming, frog face," Tatanga smirked.
Sure enough, the army of the Seven Kings turned to face the BreadElites, letting out yells.
"Don't attack yet!" Prince Bowser yelled, "Wait until I give the word!"
The BreadElites continued to run, preparing for a tough fight. The Army of the Seven Kings had advantage in numbers, but a disadvantage in skill.
"Give us some help here!" Wario roared to the five remaining Knights.
"We've got to get to Puppernickel's Castle," Glorb sighed.
"At least spare us a couple of your warriors," Waluigi growled.
"Fine, I'll stay," Masher muttered.
"Me too," Mario agreed.
"Alright, so The Blue Toad, Glorb and I will continue for the castle," Hyrulian said, and they nodded.
Prince Bowser leapt into the air, and a miniature Clown Copter sped underneath him. The Koopa landed inside, strapping himself in.
"Army, I'm giving the word," Prince Bowser roared, "Attack!"
The miniature Clown Copter was at the head of the assault, followed by Wart on a magic carpet, Tatanga in his warship, along with Masher, who was held up psychically, and Mario, who's cape billowed behind him. Wart burped, and several bubbles burst from his mouth. The BreadElites, however, took little effort to dodge the slow-moving bubbles.
"Oh, great," Wart moaned.
One of the BreadElites, who wore a red headband, leapt into the air, letting out a high-pitched scream. With a swift kick, Wart was sent off his magic carpet, sprawling in the dirt. The BreadElite quickly took control of the carpet, and flew towards Mario.
"Do a barrel roll!" Masher yelled, and Mario did exactly that, spiraling underneath the charge.
"My turn now," Tatanga sneered, his warship speeding up.
Several nasty looking lasers appeared on the sides of the ship, glinting dangerously. Several BreadElites quickly began to run underneath- but even more laser blasters revealed themselves. They began to fire, but the dangerously skilled Breadites leapt into the air, ripping them from their sockets and disabling the weapons.
"Ack!" Tatanga yelled, as several lights flashed red on the control panel.
"Tatanga, get your ship up!" Prince Bowser roared.
Struggling with the controls, the alien conqueror managed to direct the ship upwards, despite it continuously spitting out smoke. The BreadElites continued to pursue it, making strange noises.
"Everyone, move!" the Prince shouted.
Mario flew to the left- Masher, to the right, and Prince Bowser soared upwards. Wario and Waluigi continued to stand amongst all of the fighting, wondering what to do. Suddenly, a brown machine thundered across the battlefield- a tank.
"Momma mia," Mario breathed, "I haven't seen those for a while."
"Alright, siblings, let's show these guys we mean business!" came the voice of Lemmy Koopa.
"Siblings?" Wario yelled.
Several more rumbling sounds were heard, and two more tanks approached on either side of Lemmy's, controlled by Roy and Ludwig. In the sky, more brown shapes approached- controlled by Wendy, Larry, Iggy and Morton.
"Banzai Bill launchers ready?" Prince Bowser asked. "Army, head in the opposite direction!"
The army began to run south, towards Puppernickel's castle- but the BreadElites followed them.
"This plan was rather rushed, wasn't it?" Mario laughed, flying alongside Prince Bowser's Clown Copter.
"Grr... I don't see you having a better plan..." PB (lol Peanut Butter lol) snarled.
"Really?" Mario retorted. "Masher, now!"
Above them, Masher levitated, concentrating once more. Suddenly, a blast of psychic energy hit the ground, and continued to pulse- it was a wall. It spread until it made a circle around the BreadElites. They were trapped.
"Whatever... Banzai Bill launchers... set to full speed and... FIRE!" Prince Bowser roared.
All at once, the airships and tanks launched a Banzai Bill. They zoomed through the air, and, triumphantly, collided with Masher's psychic shield. There was silence as the shield slowly fizzled out of life.
"Prince Bowser?" Mario asked.
"What?" the irritable Koopa replied.
"You're a moron."
~~~
A gloomy castle loomed in front of the three travelers, flanked by bats who flew around its towers. It sat on top of an equally gloomy hill, glaring down at anyone who may approach. Behind it lay a tall mountain, equally intimidating as the castle and the hill.
"Here it is," Glorb muttered, "Puppernickel's Castle."
"It's not as big as I thought it would be," The Blue Toad remarked with a frown.
"Who cares?" Hyrulian asked. "It's unprotected... the only things in there will be Puppernickel, Kamek, and Ultima. Let's go!"
And, as the three remaining Knights (wow, numbers are declining) ran towards the castle, little did they know that Hyrulian's assumption was completely wrong.
~~~
SushieBoy stood alone in a forest. A faint bit of sunlight shone from above, and vines snaked down the trees like... snakes. O_o
"Whoa, where am I?" SushieBoy gasped, stumbling around. "I was in the battle, but suddenly... I got lost..."
"How stupid could you be to get lost in the middle of a battle?" a mysterious figure laughed (same mysterious figure as before, btw).
"Who are you?" SushieBoy growled, fists clenching.
"That will be answered in due time," the figure muttered, "but I must determine whether you are worthy."
"Of course I am," SushieBoy growled.
The figure charged towards SB, who leapt into the air and delivered a powerful kick to his/her/its head, which sent it onto the ground. The figure threw itself back onto its feet, panting.
"You're good," the figure muttered, striking quickly with a powerful punch to SB's stomach which sent him to the ground as well. "But I'm better."
"We'll just see about that," SB snarled.
~~~
"And that makes three," Ultimate Shadow Lord smirked, observing his reflection in the Chaos Emerald briefly before running on, intent on completing his task, "only four left. And to find this 'The Chef'..."
~~~
Will Ultimate Shadow Lord find the Chaos Emeralds? Can the three remaining Knights defeat Puppernickel, Kamek and anyone else who could be in there? What is Rob's plan, and how does it involve the Blue Tomato? And, can the Army of the Seven Kings, the Koopalings, Mario and Masher defeat the BreadElites? And just who is the mysterious figure and his not-as-mysterious second-in-command, Throney, and will SushieBoy defeat this mysterious figure? And why do I type too much? Find out on the next episode of 'The Good Pastry'!
*cough*
Um... I mean, the Evil Bread. ^_^'
-
Geez, Glorb, if you can't remember what's going on, then maybe you should refrain from posting for a while.
Hey, what does that mean? I know perfectly well what's going on! Something with the same plot device that's been used millions of times over the course of this story...
-
Where'd everyone go? Was it something I said?
-
Kinda forgot about this. That, and we all know that US is the best writer out of all of us, but he isn't here.
-
Aw, man. Where'd all the old Evil Bread writing staff go? I write worse than...well, worse than Ultima Shadow, at least.
-
Good question. TBT and Hyrulean seemed to vanish without a trace, but at least we know US will be back.
-
That, and we all know that US is the best writer out of all of us, but he isn't here.
*cough*
~~~
"One more to go," USL snarled, gazing downwards, "and right here, too."
The final Chaos Emerald, a brilliant crimson, shone in front of him, its brilliant glow lighting up the villain's features.
"Hey!" yelled a voice.
Ultimate Shadow Lord quickly turned, and saw a bizarre figure in front of him. He was blue, with several quills sticking out of the back of his head and his back. His bright green eyes were narrowed in a glare.
"Who are you?" USL snarled, fists clenching.
"I'm Sonic the Hedgehog," he replied, "and you?"
"I am Ultimate Shadow Lord," the former Knight replied, towering over the hedgehog, "and I am here to obtain the final Chaos Emerald."
"F-final?" Sonic gasped.
"That's right. Chaos Control!" USL shouted, and he disappeared.
Sonic turned quickly, but not quickly enough- an agile fist knocked him backwards, followed by a powerful kick. The hedgehog fell to the ground, but got back up, running in circles. A cyclone began to form, lifting the villain into the air. The final Chaos Emerald fell to the ground, abandoned.
"Ugh!" USL roared.
"Aha!" Sonic laughed, leaping into the air towards the villain.
"Bad move," the former knight laughed, "Chaos Spear!"
He was immediately surrounded by an arrow of Chaos energy, and darted forwards, knocking Sonic out of the air. As the cyclone disappeared, USL dropped to the ground, snickering.
"Too easy," the former knight laughed, but stopped as soon as he was hit in the back by a powerful fist.
"You're not getting that Emerald!" roared Knuckles the Echidna, picking it up.
"Chaos Control!" Ultimate Shadow Lord shouted, moving at an alarming speed.
The echidna faintly felt the Chaos Emerald disappear from his hands, and the former knight leapt back.
"Then, I shall take it by force!" he smirked, "Chaos Blast!"
A gargantuan attack, powered by Chaos energy, emanated from the villain, blasting both Sonic and Knuckles hard. Ultimate Shadow Lord quickly opened up a portal while Sonic and Knuckles were immobilised, and, bent to pick up the final Emerald- only for a black hedgehog to grab it off him. The villain let out a yell as Shadow the Hedgehog screeched to a stop in front of him, clenching the emerald tightly.
-
Rad-tastical! You're back, US! My knowledge of the English language is kinda rusty, but here goes:
Back at wherever everyone else was, there was an audible rumble. "What in the name of crap was that?" asked Glorb. There was another rumble, this one even louder than the first, and a huge, swirly-looking swirly thing appeared in front of the crowd, emitting swirly-sounding noises. The Blue Toad approached the swirl. "Whoa, cool! A portal! I'll bet you can release some serious Cacodemons from this thing." Glorb walked up to the portal, and, with his astounding scientificated mind, thought up a brilliant plan. "I'm gonna jump in," he said out loud.
The Blue Toad gave him a strange look. "Jump in? Are you nuts? What did I just say about Cacodemons?" But before Glorb even got a chance to do anything, the portal started screeching horribly, and a whole bunch of stuff flew out. Among them were Mega Man, Gordon Freeman, that nameless, no-talking guy from Grand Theft Auto III, a zombie from Resident Evil, Master Chief, Duke Nukem, Samus Aran, Alex from River City Ransom, and Aquaman.
Hyrulian stared in disbelief. "What are you all doing here?" "...", replied the GTA3 guy. Master Chief walked up to Glorb. "Are you the one who challenged Sonic?" Glorb just sat there, stupified at meeting Master Chief, who sighed. "I guess not. The world has been majorly screwed up somehow, and the Chronosphere has been cracked open like a pinata, releasing video game characters in random places across the globe. Sonic was the first to go; we have to find him to restore that thing that I just mentioned back to its initial state to stop every universe from collapsing." And so, long story short, everyone (Hyrulian took a head count, which included Glorb, Hyrulian, The Blue Toad, the GTA3 guy, Mario, Master Chief, Wario, Duke Nukem, Alex, Samus Aran, the zombie, Peach, Mega Man, Gordon Freeman, but excluded Aquaman because he sucks) went on a quest to save the world for, like, the hundredth time.
-
Meanwhile, Rob was still in Tomatoland, speaking with The Blue Tomato.
"....so you see, that's why we need your help" said Rob.
"Ah, I see" said the wise tomato. "So... wait a minute..."
The Blue Tomato froze.
"What's wrong?" asked Rob.
"I'm sensing.... a disturbance" said the tomato ominously
"What kind of disturbance?" inquired Rob.
"That kind that usually spells trouble and requires a hero like you to stop" said the tomato.
"Oh" Rob said. "But I'm not even a real hero yet. I'm the youngest member of the Seven Knights. I don't even have any powers!" exclaimed Rob in a fit of distress.
'You shall be a hero soon" said the tomato. "Just listen to me and listen well."
"I'm all ears" said Rob.
"You see, Lord Puppernickel has opened a hole in the Chronosphere in an attempt to find the legendary Chaos Emeralds...."
"Like from Sonic the Hedgehog?" asked Rob.
"....yes.. well, let me finish. He has sent your friend, Ultima Shadow, in his enhanced evil form, Ultimate Shadow Lord to find the emeralds."
"Uh-oh. That's not good" said Rob.
"At the same time, the rest of the Knights, who formed an alliance with the Army of the Seven Kings while you were searching for me, had just, made it to Puppernickel's lair when a hole in the Chronosphere opened up, releasing a group of beings from other universes."
"So was that the disturbance you were talking about?" asked Rob.
"Indeed. There are more of these holes appearing all over the various universes, and I fear that I am the cause."
'WHAT!?" Rob exclaimed, very shocked at this news.
"Unfortunately, my time is drawing near. I am a very old tomato, and like all tomatoes, I must pass on, and if I am gone, the universes will collapse. However, you can reverse this by restoring this universe to what it was before it happened....."
"..before what happened?" asked Rob, very tensely.
"Originally, the Knights lived in a universe of their own, but it was half-destroyed by Plotholes and then merged with the universe we currently reside in. Mario joined them, and later you, Robert"
"Oh. So do they have to ability to withstand universal collapses or something?" inquired Rob.
'Correct. And so do you..." said the tomato.
"Really!? Cool!" Rob shouted with glee.
"There's more" said the tomato. "They have that ability because they are destined to save all of the universes, and you are to stand alongside them. As of now, Ultima Shadow is currently in a universe called Mobius Prime, searching for the Chaos Emeralds under Puppernickel's command. The rest of the Knights as well as the Army of the Seven Kings are currently in front of Puppenickel's castle, standing before a large group of other-universe visitors."
"Wait, how do you know this again?" interrupted Rob.
"I am tied directly to the very fabric that reality is made of. I can see everything that is happening across all universes. If I die, the universes collapse and all life as we know will disappear forever. Your job is to restore the other Knights' former universe by reclaiming the Chaos Emeralds from Ultima Shadow and Puppernickel and plant my seed there. Then, my successor will grow and the universes will be safe."
"How can I ever hope to do that?" said Rob angrily. "I'm just an ordinary human kid."
"First you must reunite with the other other Knights. From there, you must tell them to hold off Puppernickel as long as possible while you retrive the last emerald before Ultima Shadow can get it. He already holds six of them. As long as the last one is safe, his plan will be disrupted. Hide it here in my abode. I will take care of it."
"OK. So what about the other emeralds?" asked Rob.
"Eventually you must face Puppernickel as an official Knight, but to do that, you must go through the rite of passage."
'Is this anything like Luke training with Yoda on Dagobah?" Rob asked sarcastically.
'Somewhat." said the tomato. "You must seek the one known as Deezer. He will train you for seven days. Throughout those seven says, a war between the other-universe beings (led by the Knights and the Seven Kings), and the Evil Bread (led by Puppernickel) will wage."
"That sounds dangerous. Are you sure I'll be able to complete it in time?" asked Rob, worried.
"I trust in you. The prophecy will come true. After your training is complete, you will finally be able to cast down Ultima Shadow and Puppernickel soon after, in order to obtain the Chaos Emeralds. With them in hand, recite these words:
By the will of the Blue Tomato, I restore the universe of the Five Knights of TMK. Chaos Restore.
Doing so will restore the universe to it's former glory, in which you must take this seed of mine and plant it in a safe spot" the old tomato said, handing Rob a blue tomato seed.
"OK, is that all that has to be done? Is that my duty as a hero?" asked Rob, very curiously.
"Yes, but I must warn you of the Plotholes. They are what destroyed their universe to begin with. You must avoid them at all costs. Also remember than my time is running out. If you fail to complete your mission within those seven days, I will wither away and life as we know it will be gone forever. Is that clear, young Robert?"
"Definitely. I will not fail, Blue Tomato. You can count on me." said Rob, courageously.
"Very well. Now go. 'Tis time to start your journey." said the old tomato.
With that, Rob went off in the direction of Puppenickel's castle, unaware of the battle between SushieBoy and the Mysterious Figure also happening at that time....
Will Rob complete his training in time? Will the Knights, the Seven Kings and the characters from all over the multiverse hold their own in the war against Puppernickel? Will Ultimate Shadow Lord find the last Chaos Emerald? Will SushieBoy fend off the Mysterious Figure? Who is the Mysterious Figure anyway? find out on the next installmen of The New Evil Bread Legend!!!
(Just thought I'd tie up a few loose ends with this one. Try not to take it too off-course, okay guys?)
-
Glorb, I'm not actually back... but just doing nothing and getting hassled by local shopkeepers isn't exactly the most exciting thing in the world. I needed to write something. xD
(I thought USL already obtained the final Emerald..? Ah, no matter... *edits post*)
~~~
"Ugh!" USL bellowed, "come back here with that Chaos Emerald!"
The black hedgehog turned, his hate-filled eyes glaring at the former knight.
"I hold six Chaos Emeralds," the villain laughed, "and you hold one. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that you're toast."
Shadow gritted his teeth, trying to think of a way out of the situation. It was obvious that USL could easily destroy him while barely breaking a sweat... there had to be another way...
"You... you killed Sonic!"
A purple blur darted through the air, landing quickly beside Shadow. A plothole was behind the creature, spinning rapidly. The newcomer halted, her yellow eyes glaring at the villain.
"Who are you?" snarled Shadow.
"My name is Blaze the Cat," she replied, "I am the guardian of the Sol Emeralds! I'm here to help, Shadow!"
Shadow didn't bother trying to guess what a Sol Emerald was or how she knew his name, but instead glared at USL as well.
"How can you help?" USL laughed, "you're as powerless as Shadow here."
"Wanna bet?" Blaze retorted, smirking slightly.
The purple cat leapt into the air, held aloft by flames. Out of nowhere, seven plate-like objects began to rotate around her, now just a rainbow blur. Suddenly, they all moved inwards, and she was bathed in a white light. Blaze was then surrounded by flames, and she landed, glowing with fire dancing around her. The guardian's fur was now a light orange colour.
"That's... Chaos energy?" Shadow gasped.
"Not quite," Blaze smirked, launching a fireball at Ultimate Shadow Lord, who quickly evaded the attack.
"The Sol Emeralds give me the ability to turn into Burning Blaze," she muttered, "much like the Chaos Emeralds do to you, Shadow."
Suddenly, a fist collided with the side of her head, and USL jumped back, charging up a Chaos Spear.
"Shadow!" Blaze cried, "take the Chaos Emerald and get through the portal! Quickly!"
Nodding, the black hedgehog looked at the portal- it was already closing. Casting one last look at the battered and bruised Sonic and Knuckles, he jumped through the portal, Chaos Emerald still in his hand.
~~~
btw, for those who don't know, Blaze is actually a canonical character; from Sonic Rush.
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Back at the cave everyone else was in (trust me...it was a cave...), Glorb was in front of a chalkboard with several doodles on it, while he paced back and forth as everyone else watched not-so-eagerly. "That's it!" yelled Glorb, "I've found it! My scietifical calulatories calculate that, to stop Ultimate Shadow Lord from getting the three Super Jewel whatchathingamabooberwhatevers, I myself must turn evil to get them back." This was followed by some murmuring in the crowd.
Gordon Freeman piped up, but said nothing, because he was born without any vocal cords. Instead, Mega Man began saying something. "Glorb, if you turn evil and get the Emeralds, then won't you be unstoppable and destroy the crops and everything?" But it was too late, for Glorb had already transformed into the most monstrous, vile being of pure, evil darkness and evil...Dark, uh, Glorb!
Draped in a Wal-Mart Dracula Halloween costume cape and wearing a doofy-looking metal helmet, gray sweatshirt with "DG" spraypainted on, neon-orange hotpants, dark sunglasses and faux-snakeskin boots (because Dark Glorb, evil as he may be, was environmentally conscious, and because they were cheaper), Dark Glorb was a visage of pure menace. With an evil laugh, he jumped into his jet-black, jet-powered 1975 Ford Pacemaker and drove off into the night, in search of the Chaos Emeralds...
-
So while Glorb went off to do his thing, the other Knights and the rest of the characters took matters into their own hands...
"Gentlemen..." said Mario. "It is time we finished this feud with the Evil Bread once and for all. We shall fight in the name of all that is good and pure! Rob, Ultima Shadow and Glorb might be separate from us, but wherever they are, their honor will be avenged! Who's with me!?"
"WE ARE!!" yelled The Blue Toad, Hyrulean and Masher.
"SO ARE WE!!"shouted Bowser Jr., Wart, Tatanga, Wario, Waluigi and Popple.
"DITTO!!" cried the enormous crowd of characters from various universes, which included MegaMan and Gordon Freeman.
So they all gathered into an army and marched toward Puppernickel's castle.
Meanwhile at the path towards the Bread Kingdom...
"Man, my legs are killin' me" groaned Rob.
Will the Knight's army win the war against Puppernickel? Will Rob get there to tell them the words of the Blue Tomato and make in back in time for his training with Deezer? Will Shadow escape with the last Emerald? Will Glorb ever remember the way the story is heading and stop adding stupid crap to it? Find out next time!
-
Just lost a huge post... meh... and Undo didn't work...
~~~
Blaze launched a fiery beam at USL, who leapt upwards, doing a backflip before landing on a rock. She quickly followed up with a fireball, which the villain deflected with a Chaos Spear. However, Blaze leapt into the air, flames gathering around her feet, before darting downwards, blazing fully. USL had no time to stop, and was hit head-on by the attack.
"Ha," the queen smirked.
Ultimate Shadow Lord jumped into the air, surrounded by Chaos energy, and darted downwards in a similar manner. He hit Blaze, who stumbled as well.
"Ha," he mimicked, "Chaos Control!"
USL disappeared, and quickly reappeared next to Blaze, delivering a devastating uppercut to the cat. She went soaring into the air, but regained her composure, summoning a pillar of fire to shoot of the ground. Swearing softly, USL dashed forward, as the pillar erupted behind him. The villain continued to run, fire chasing after him. Blaze began to descend gradually as the flames scorched after the former knight, and she threw her hands up. A larger pillar shot out of the ground, straight in front of the villain. USL quickly aimed a Chaos Blast at the ground, using the propulsion to leap over the fiery attack. Blaze sent the pillar back into the ground, and saw the former knight standing there, grinning.
"What now?" USL smirked, "Chaos Control!"
Blaze threw her hands up just as the villain darted forward, and a tower of flame appeared in front fo him. USL collided with it, and was sent directly upwards. Blaze leapt into the air, charging a fireball- but, suddenly, fell to the ground, fireball disappearing. Her fur returned to its regular purple.
"Wh-what?!" she gasped.
"You need rings to retain your form," USL smirked, still hovering but now charging up an attack, "remember?"
"He's right," Blaze said to herself.
"Of course. Chaos Screw!"
The villain dashed downwards, spinning rapidly and surrounded by Chaos energy. Blaze could only watch as the former Knight slammed into her, sending her flying. Ultimate Shadow Lord came to a stop, picking up all seven Sol Emeralds.
"Too easy," he grinned, as Blaze lay groaning a few metres away.
"Stop! Leave her alone!"
Dashing towards the villain, preparing for a fight, were a wide variety of heroes- Amy, Cream, Tails, Mighty, Vector, Espio, Rouge, Charmy and Silver. USL got into a combat pose, smirking at the newcomers.
~~~
Shadow leapt out of the portal, landing roughly on a rock. An army of bizarre beige creatures were storming over a sort of battlefield. Looking down at the chaos, he saw two warriors, bravely fighting off the army. Grasping the Chaos Emerald, Shadow darted downwards, spinning into a ball and tearing through the ranks of the enemy. Creature after creature went flying, and Shadow came to a stop, leaping backwards next to one of the warriors. He was short, wore blue clothes and had a turban-like hat on his head. The warrior nodded thankfully.
"Thanks," he smiled, "I'm Blue Toad, and my friend is Luigi Simpson. Who are you?"
~~~
Has Shadow really gone back in time? Can the combined forces of the remaining Sonic characters defeat the hyper-powered Ultimate Shadow Lord? Can Rob succeed in training? And will I stop asking these questions? Find out in the next episode of... THE NEW EVIL BREAD LEGEND! =D =D =D
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(What time period did Shadow go back to? It couldn't be the old universe because that was destroyed, yet US is there in his Luigi Simpson form. What gives?)[/outofcharacter]
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Will Glorb ever remember the way the story is heading and stop adding stupid crap to it?
What's that supposed to mean? I started this story, y'know! And besides, I remember perfectly well where the story was heading! Something about hotpants, right?
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(Glorb, seriously. I know you started it, but you're not doing a very good job of helping the rest of us to finish it... in style.)[/outofcharacter]
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OOC: Shadow went back in time, to before that universe was destroyed. Forgive me, I don't know much about time travel, having never accomplished it myself. xD
I'd post more, but I only have 5 minutes left of net time. =(
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(Ah I'll take your word for it. I was kinda thinking that each universe had it's own time stream and the destruction of that universe caused it's history to be erased from existence.)
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Well, time travel and interdimensional travel are two different things, but I'd say that since time and space are separate, a destroyed universe's timeline would still be preserved in some sort of cosmic "recently deleted universes" dimension, or something.
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Sorry for the double post, but this story seems to be going stale (pun semi-intended). I'm thinking we should either refresh it with some new, cool plot developments and resolutions (that actually have to do with the current plot instead of making a new one because I "keep adding stupid crap"), or possibly even end it. And if so, I mean a real ending that ties up all the loose ends and sounds cool, not just "The world blew up. The End." What does everyone think?
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I think we should just let the topic die, and make another topic with an entirely new story, as none of us are anywhere near as good of a writer as US, and TBT and Hyrulean are also totally gone. I was looking through the old posts in this topic and decided I liked it better back when it was an "add one sentence" story rather than an OG.
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TBT's a better writer than me, imo... I've read some of his stories, they're brilliant. It's a pity he never comes here anymore... then again, it could be tricky to keep a consistent story going with everyone adding one sentence. Just saying. :x
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The original story was never that consistent, but when Glorb allowed it to become more than one sentence, it became a world-class OG, but mostly because it was limited to just five users posting in the topic at all. Then I joined. It became six. Eventually it fell of the radar andwhen Glorb found it, he forgot everything that happened in it. Then SushieBoy arrived and it was beyond repair, prompting me to revive it with a continuity reboot, which seems to be falling apart thanks to Glorb's failing memory and my not-as-good-as-TBT-and-US's writing skills as well as SushiBoy's little interruptions. So I think we should just bury this thing once and for all.
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Well, the story was never really intended to have a compelling narrative in the first place, but I see your point. I think that we should finish up the story with a real ending, then just end the epic storyline there (i.e., no sequels), as I think it's becoming too serious and straying too far from the goofy humor that was meant to be the central theme. Besides, I'm working on a new, novel-style story right now, and once TEB is finished, I can release the The Evil Bread Super-Awesome Special Edition Compilation Novel.
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*Scene opens up to a stage, Footsteps are heard*
*Masher walks on screen*
Masher: Hello, I'm Masher101... and well... being that the topic has died... I have decided to end it... So, bye to all of our adoreing fans, anyone who tried to join, but sadly failed, all of our members... And finaly... The Fungi Fourms. Thank you all... thank you... And farewell...
*Curtains close*
(Yup, I ended it... being the fact that I haven't been on the site for about a year, and everyone has stoped posting... I have ended it... Don't yell at me...)
*sniffle* :*
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Great! Now that you've ended it, we're not allowed to post in it anymore!
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Umm...well, at least all those loose ends were tied up. But anyway, I'm not angry. Heck, I'd forgotted about it anyway, so at least The Evil Bread's been given a proper burial. Maybe now it's time for Army of Breadness, or perhaps The Eval Kineval Bread.
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Let's not go too far here, Glorb.
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We need to start something else with a nonsensical food-related theme.
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Nice try, but we will never start any organized, non-food related story! NEVER, I tell ya'! Never!
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Ah... too bad it's over... but about the book Glorb is making... (Hopefuly >.> <.<) I made a quick cover for it, in Paint... XD!! It's not done yet though, being that I only have TBT, me, and Glorb in it. (https://themushroomkingdom.net/board/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2FC%3A%5CDocuments+and+Settings%5COwner%5CMy+Documents%5CMy+Pictures%5CMario+The+Evil+Bread+Cover.GIF&hash=cd2cdbf4a1b8087403eff00547751e0e) If it doesn't show... eh... Well, I dunno.
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Yeah, it's not showing. Try attaching it instead of linking it from your computer.
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Alrighty
I'm on the far right, TBT's in the middle... and Glorbs on the left.
I'll be able to finish it, if everyone gives me a VERY discripted view of your Character, in sprite-form. :D You should tell me what sprite it should be modled after, cause I'm not the best sprite maker/editer...
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Pretty good, actually. I'd suggest some rad lightning bolts, a big cliff, a castle, and maybe some giant monsters riding motorcycles to make it seem more epic. Other than that, it's pretty good, actually.
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Okaaaayy... I'll er... edit it.
Here's the picture... still not done.
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If I have time, I'll modify a Shadow sprite to make my character... shouldn't take too long.
Anyway, are there going to be sequels? The Violent Pastry? The Vengeful Cereal? The Slightly Miffed Croissant?
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Heh...I was actually joking when I said to add the lightning and stuff, but that is really cool-looking.
If there's gonna be a sequel, it'd have to be a reboot of the story, perhaps with different characters. I was thinking maybe Bread Rising.
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Bread Rising sounds a LOT like Dead Rising... (Oh, and Ultima, PM me the Sprite/Sprite-sheet when you're done)
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I need someone to make a sprite of me. I suggest going the MegaMan edit route.
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Well, I'm mildy okayish at sprite editing, so I might possibly be able to whip up a "Chef" sprite later.
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XD!! Thanks guys... just PM em' to me, and I'll edit it in :D.
Oh, and The Chef, Happy entire year of being signed up on TMK Fungi Fourms
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I've been here for a year? Didn't even notice. :D
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Meh, I just noticed, looking at your profile and it says:
"Joined April 21 2006"
"Last Active April 21 2007"
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Yay! A whole year of Chefitude! And, totally coincidentally, this is my 2000th post, about a post or two after I just created the 10,000th topic! It's, like, a hundred things at once!
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Horray! I say! hey... that ryhmed... I wonder if I've been here for a year...
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Actually, you've been here longer than The Chef. That makes me both your superiors in rank! So go...uh, clean the toilets.
In Evil Bread-slightly-related news, I've been fiddling around with the Glorb pixel art thing I mentioned a month or so back, and it's almost finished.
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Oh... really? Meh... I have like... 1/4 of his post count though... so, that almost dosen't count. XD
Actually, I have like.. 1/16 of his post count.
But in at least a year, I'll have his amount of posts!
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If there's gonna be a sequel, it'd have to be a reboot of the story, perhaps with different characters. I was thinking maybe Bread Rising.
To use your word, 'radtastical!' However, if there is a sequel, I don't really feel like being a hero in it... being evil is so much more creative. >:]
Oh, and I'm going to try and get around to editing the sprite as soon as I can. Probably later tonight...
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Okay. As I said thirty times, just PM it to me. XD
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Okay, I've come up with a loose idea for a storyline for The Evil Bread II (or whatever it'd be called, like Bread Rising or Dawn of the Bread). It'd be where there's like, this alternate dimension, see, and the Breadites come from there and take over this dimension, and it'd be sort of like a cross between Dawn of the Dead and Independence Day. And...that's all I've got. Still, it is sort of cool-sounding.
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So we would do a Resident Evil like thing?
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Mmm, kinda. On a more epic scale, though.
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I Seeee... Oh, and by the way. Ultima Shadow sent me his sprite, I'll edit it in when I get back from school today.
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Good news: I'm practically done with the Glorb art. I just need to finish the shading, and I'll be done.
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alrighty.