Lemmy: Apparently I'm the only one able to keep his composure during the break! Unbelieveable what transpired just moments ago. Ash Ketchum now owns Super Smash Brothers. He said he bought the stock of the company when Jman's brokers sold it. Boy, are those brokers going to be sorry! This was all apart of Ash's master plan! He ran the company into the ground, putting out a very short season to prevent the company from making any money! And he successfully kept this hidden from all of us! It's a tragedy that a scumbag like Ash Ketchum could do this to a great guy like Jman! I'm sick to my stomach right now! Hey wait, Jman is still standing in the ring. Ash climbs into the ring with his microphone.
Ash: Are you deaf? I told you to get out of my ring, you jobber! You are going to job to every fighter on the SSB roster until you die! Now get out of my ring before I have you thrown out!
Jman: This will never, NEVER, be your ring!
Lemmy: Ash just laughs at...oh my! Jman low blows Ash! He gets him upside down! Tombstone piledriver! Jman has severely damaged Ash just minutes before he's due to participate in match #4 of a suddenly somber Melee! Well, except for the crowd, they're going nuts right now! Even in spite of the horrible realization of Ash's ownership, as Queen frontman Freddie Mercury once said, the show must go on!
Jack: Yes it shall! Here come Ash's assassins down to the ring. They climb in and stare at their fallen leader. Something tells me Ash and Jman are going to be at each other's throats until the end of time now!
Diddy: In the meantime, Cranky, I think we should go and rest in the locker room for awhile. Let's let these rookie commentators call the next match!
Cranky: I'm with you on that one! We'll see you guys again when Link and Luigi go at it!
Lemmy: Yeah, we've got things under control down here!
(camera cuts to Jman walking backstage)
Mario: Hey! Jman! Sorry about what happened earlier!
Jman: Don't be sorry. Kill him! Beat that son of a gun senseless until he wishes he was dead! You've got the resources in the cage! Do it!
Mario: Yeah...
Jack: Yeah, I restate what I said moments ago. It's going to be a bloody journey for Jman and Ash! In the meantime, here come Mario, Bowser, and newcomer Paper Luigi! This whole thing started on the last episode of SSB Live before this event! Yoshi had just retained the NE championship again, and his celebration was interrupted by two masked smashers later found out to be working for Ash!
Lemmy: Yeah, everyone from Mario to Bowser came to Yoshi's aid, but all were planted facefirst into the ramp! Bowser later announced that this match was to take place, and he revealed his latest prospect, Paper Luigi! Look at this guy! My old man may be a jerk, but you can't argue against him when it comes to managing! He really has this guy looking like a chiseled Hulk Hogan in his prime!
Jack: I'm starting to think Ash is messing with the wrong crowd! He just got tombstoned by Jman after revealing he basically usurped ownership out from under our beloved company frontman! Now he'll have to deal with Bowser, Mario, and this new kid Paper Luigi! Even though he now owns us all, I'm predicting a year of pain for Ash! Starting tonight!
Lemmy: Well, obviously Ash is now immune to firings, so Bowser is fighting for his job here! My question is, could Ash appoint himself GM while owning the company?
Jack: Probably. Jman never did, but that's only because he has class! He gave Ash the GM position, Ash abused it, that led to their match at the UST, but Ash disobeyed the ruling, secretly staying in SSB since that event.
Lemmy: Here come Ash and his assassins! Listen to this crowd! As loud as the cheers were for Jman upon his return, the boos are equally loud for SSB's new owner. Ash revealing tonight that he now owns the entire company. These fans hate it! I'm pretty sure that Ash's ownership will drive some fans away!
Jack: Let's just concentrate on the match at hand. The giant steel cage used for Steel Prison Slaughter is starting to come down from the ceiling. Ash and his cronies hop in the ring and he poses some more. Something tells me these two masked smashers are going to be doing a lot of dirty work for Ash in the future!
Lemmy: Here come Bowser, Mario, and Paper Luigi! Bowser showing off his young prize pupil to the crowd, and they love him! Don't get me wrong, under any other circumstance, they would probably boo him, but this situation casts Bowser as the lesser of two evils! Now, there is just one way to win a Steel Prison Slaughter match: pin or make your opponent tap out to a submission hold. This is the first ever tag team match to be held inside a steel prison! It should be a good one!
Jack: That it should! And still to come tonight, the rumble itself, and Link vs Luigi in a ladder match for the SSB title! Anyway, the competitors are all in the ring. The cage is just about set on the ground. It will be assassin #1 against Mario Mario to start the match! There could be a ton of bloodshed in this fight!
Lemmy: There's the bell, and we are underway! Mario locks up with the nameless assassin in the middle of the ring. Mario with great leverage, forcing his opponent to the ground! Now he kicks him in the gut! Here comes a suplex!
Jack: Mario being told by Jman to beat Ash senseless, but he'll have to get him in the ring first!
Lemmy: Now Mario whips his opponent across the ring. And a clothesline knocks him down! Mario is in this match because he took exception to being planted facefirst on the ramp by Ash's assassins on SSB Live! Bowser and Paper Luigi look on!
Jack: Now Mario grabs his opponent and puts him in a sleeper hold! He's trying to end this thing early!
Lemmy: Now he changes his mind and breaks the hold! He drags the assassin to the corner and makes him tag Ash! Ash Ketchum doesn't want to come in the ring! But Mario pulls him over the top rope and into the ring! Mario with a clothesline to Ash! Now he drags the new owner to his feet! Here's a drop kick by Mario! Ash is down, and now Mario makes the tag to Bowser! Ash is going to get it now!
Jack: Bowser drags Ash to his feet and whips him across the ring! Ash lucky to duck out of the way of a massive clothesline! But Bowser makes sure his boot doesn't miss! Ash goes down again! He is definitely in trouble now! Paper Luigi going down outside the ring to grab some items and weapons! Oh boy! Here comes the bloodshed!
Lemmy: Among other things, he's grabbing a steel chair, a table, a sledgehammer, boy, for once in my life, I actually feel sorry for Ash! Wait a minute, no I don't! Oh look out!
Jack: A surprise attack by the assassins outside the ring! But now Paper Luigi grabs both of them! He puts their heads together! Both assassins are dazed! Paper Luigi taking that chance to bring the items into the ring! Ash Ketchum back to his feet and battling with Bowser! But the King of the Koopas is mercilessly beating away at him! If Ash cannot get to his corner and make a tag, this is going to be one short match!
Lemmy: Bowser setting up for the Super Koopa Slam! Here it comes! Bowser's signature move connects! Ash Ketchum is a sitting duck in the middle of the ring! Wait a second! Here come the assassins into the ring! Bowser under attack as the assassins double team him! And they take the King out at the knees! Bowser goes down! Now one of the assassins grabs a chair! Bowser back to his feet! Assassin with a chair! Bowser ducks and the chair hits Mario!
Jack: Mario is knocked off the apron! Bowser turns around and meets a chairshot! Bowser and Ash are down in the middle of the ring, Mario is down outside the ring because of a chairshot. Paper Luigi remains, and he wants into this match! He's making his SSB debut tonight, and what a way to do it! The first ever steel cage tag match! Here's a cover by an assassin! 1,2, and Bowser kicked out!
Lemmy: Bowser at the mercy of the assassins as they ready him for a planting! But he breaks up the attack and sends them out of the ring! Bowser tags Paper Luigi! Here it comes! The debut of the new kid! He goes to Ash and brings the owner of SSB to his feet! Here's a punch to Ash's gut! Now PL whips him across the ring! And a vicious clothesline knocks Ash down!
Jack: Paper Luigi grabs a chair and walks back toward Ash! Look out! The assassins storm the ring while the referee is dealing with Bowser, who is protesting their entrance! Here's a low blow to the kid! He drops his chair, and the assassins set him up for a facefirst plant! Onto the chair goes Paper Luigi's face!
Lemmy: The referee turns around and sees a cover being attempted on Paper Luigi! He prepares to count! 1,2, and Paper Luigi just got the shoulder up! He kicked out of the assassins' facefirst plant, their signature manuever! Now the assassins go and get some more weapons! Ash may be directing the destruction of Paper Luigi, and the end of Bowser's tenure in SSB!
Jack: Ash stomps on Paper Luigi's head! Now he puts the young man in a Boston Crab! The assassins are setting up a table in the middle of the ring! Ash lets up on the hold, and his assassins grab Paper Luigi! They roll him onto the table! They want to plant him through it, but Ash has other plans! He begins climbing up the side of the cage! No one's trying to stop him, but now he turns around as he climbs to the very top of the cage!
Lemmy: What is he going to do here? Oh here's your answer! Leg drop from the top of the cage! Paper Luigi rolled out of the way! Ash tried to nail him from 15 feet up, but Paper Luigi rolled out of the way, and now they are both just laying there! There's no count-out in Steel Prison Slaughter, so this could take awhile!
Jack: The way this match is moving, I think we're due for a quick climax! Ash is out cold, and now PL rolls on top of him! This could be it! But the ref is distracted by the assassins! Ash has been pinned for about a 5 count, but the ref never saw it! Now he comes over! 1,2, Ash kicked out!
Lemmy: In total, it was about an 8 count, but the ref was absent for 6 of them!
Jack: Paper Luigi gets back to his feet! So does Ash! Now Ash realizes what he's up against! Paper Luigi grabs Ash and puts him in a headlock! He wants to squeeze it like a grape!
Lemmy: Physical match so far! Now Paper Luigi throws Ash to the canvas! He goes to set up another table! Ash has been through one table in the match already! Is he about to go through another?
Jack: Paper Luigi goes to tag Bowser! He makes the tag, and here comes the Koopa King! Bowser encounters Ash, who kicks him in the gut! Ash DDT's Bowser! Bowser is down, and Ash grabs a chair! He stands over him and hits him with the chair! Here's another shot! And another!
Lemmy: Ash going nuts with the chair! Now the chair finally breaks after about 15 shots!
Jack: Ash now drops an elbow on Bowser! I think he just wants to win the match! if you'll notice, the assassins haven't been in the match officially since the beginning! Ash somehow hoists the Koopa King onto the table! Will he try again? Yes he will! Ash is going to the side of the cage! He's climbing to the top of it!
Lemmy: He's crazy! But now Mario comes over to the side and begins rattling the cage! Ash hanging on for dear life! Now the referee tells Mario to get back to his corner! Ash remains clinged to the side of the cage about fifteen feet in the air! Now, there's no escape from the cage until someone has won the match, but there are platforms within the cage that one can jump from.
Jack: Ash has now reached one of those platforms! Watch out! Here it comes! He's signaling for an elbow drop from 15 feet in the air! Bowser finally has movement! Here comes Ash! Elbow drop through the table! He crushed Bowser through the table! That's it! Bowser's out of a job!
Lemmy: No he's not! Bowser's still got hope! The referee was knocked down in the process of Ash's elbow drop! Ash has crawled into a cover, but there's no counting going on! And now he's taking his frustration out on dad! He's throwing some wicked punches to the face! Now Paper Luigi and Mario are in the ring! The assassins enter as well! It's a six man melee!
Jack: Paper Luigi clotheslines an assassin over the top rope! Mario tosses the other one from the ring! Now Mario pulls Ash off of Bowser! He punches Ash, now Ash punches back! Mario and Ash in a back and forth slugfest! Paper Luigi grabs a chair and hits the ring! He swings for Ash! Ash ducked out of the way!
Lemmy: Bowser's back on his feet! He grabs Ash! Paper Luigi swings his chair for Ash! Ash ducks and Paper Luigi hit Bowser! No! Paper Luigi is in shock! Now Ash drop kicks the chair into his face! PL goes down! Mario to the rescue! He starts pummeling Ash! But the assassins ambush him! Oh no!
Jack: The facefirst plant! Mario is down, all three members of the team are on their backs! The referee finally comes to his senses! I can't believe it's going to end like this! Ash rolls into a cover! The referee slowly into the count! 1...
Lemmy: Not this way!
Jack: 2...
Lemmy: Not like this!
Jack: ...No signal yet...oh my gosh! Are you kidding me? Bowser kicked out!
Lemmy: That's King dad for you! Always perservering! And believe me, anybody else would have quit after losing to the Mario Brothers for the last 20 years! But not him! And he is showing that strength in this match!
Jack: Ash is livid! He's going after the referee! He knocks the ref down! What a cheapskate! Here come the assassins back in the ring! Paper Luigi grabs both of them! Here comes a double chokeslam! Paper Luigi going for Ash! He kicks him in the gut! Oh! What a DDT that was! Ash is down! Paper Luigi retreats to his corner! Mario drags the referee over to Bowser, who is now covering Ash! Here's the cover! 1...2...3!!!
Lemmy: Yes! Yes! Bowser will stay as general manager! Paper Luigi DDT'd Ash Ketchum, and Bowser got the cover, the 1-2-3, and he will keep his job! Bowser raises PL's hand in victory! Mario briefly joins them, but now he's leaving the cage! he has to get ready for the upcoming rumble match!
Jack: Four down, two to go! And these next two might be the most important of the night! Link vs Luigi in that ladder match for the SSB title! Then, the rumble itself! Nearly the entire roster, plus some new faces compete to be the last person standing, with the ultimate prize at stake: the survivor becomes the #1 contender for the SSB championship!
Lemmy: That was an intense fight right there! Hey wait a second! The assassins ambush Paper Luigi again! Here comes another facefirst plant!
Jack: What the heck was that all about?
Lemmy: I don't know, but now dad's laughing and...now he raises Ash's hand in victory! '
Jack: Aww, it was a setup! I don't know why, but Bowser has turned on his young protege! The cage has been lifted from the ring, so they'll walk out! But now Bowser motions back towards Paper Luigi! He's not done yet! Here come the assassins! They are back in the ring, and they grab Paper Luigi!
Lemmy:Wait a minute! It looks like one of the fans just came over the barricade! Hey, that's not a fan! It's Jman! I thought he left!
Jack: I did too! But now he's in the ring pounding away at the assassins! Ash and Bowser hightailing it! Jman grabs both assassins and here's a double chokeslam! He's come to Paper Luigi's aid! Now he's helping the new guy to his feet! Jman raising his hand in victory! Jman and Paper Luigi have united here at the Melee!
Lemmy: Well, I've got to go! Cranky and Diddy will be back down here in a short time! Remember, still to come, Link vs Luigi in a ladder match for the title, and the rumble itself!
Jack: It's been great working with you tonight, Lemmy, and I look forward to calling your exploits in the rumble! We'll be back with Cranky and Diddy right after this!