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Author Topic: Super Smash Brothers: WWE style!  (Read 55736 times)

Jman

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« Reply #240 on: September 04, 2007, 09:40:32 PM »
Say, PL, you don't mind if I use you as a character in the matches and events of SSB Live, do you?  Because I have something I'm planning.
I always figured "Time to tip the scales" was Wario's everyday motto.

« Reply #241 on: September 04, 2007, 09:44:01 PM »
Sure, you can use me as a jobber!
Luigison: Question everything!
Me: Why?

Jman

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« Reply #242 on: September 04, 2007, 10:02:33 PM »
Cranky: Wow, the goings on here on SSB Live on a nightly basis never cease to amaze me.

Diddy: In case you just joined us, here's what has gone down tonight.  Lemmy and Iggy Koopa retained the tag team titles, with unexpected help from Link and Roy Koopa. 

Cranky: Yeah, Link ruined what would have gone down as a classic match.  Popo the Ice Climber was this close to winning the championship for the Ice Climbers.

Diddy: Later on, Yoshi retained the NE championship once again in his latest rematch against Pikachu.  Boy, Pikachu just won't stop coming after Yoshi. 

Cranky: He really wants that belt!  Yoshi winning rather easily yet again.  Makes you wonder what will happen at the Melee.

Diddy: After Yoshi won the belt, two masked smashers entered the ring and laid him out.  More chaos ensued as it was revealed that much despised former manager Ash Ketchum was the brains behind these two. 

Cranky: They planted all who came to Yoshi's aid, including Bowser, the GM of Live!

Diddy: I can't wait to see what Bowser has to say about this.  We'll be hearing from him shortly.  While we're waiting, let's run down the matches for the Melee spectacular. 

Cranky: First, we have Yoshi vs Pikachu, Pichu and Kirby for the NE title.  A fatal four way fight for Yoshi's most prized possession!  Can't wait!

Diddy: The tag team titles are on the line as the Ice Climbers take on Lemmy and Iggy Koopa!  And just to be fair, if anyone interferes with the match, they're outta here.  Done.  Career over.

Cranky: That's a great decision.  No more of this baloney with Link and Roy wrecking matches. 

Diddy: Speaking of Link, the biggest match of the night involves him and Luigi.  The ladder match to determine a new champion!  Luigi's watched Daisy and LL suffer in Link's hands, and he wants payback.  Look to see him beat that smirk off of Link's face!

(Ash's face appears on the jumbotron.)

Ash: Hello, losers!  I, the great and honorable Ash Ketchum, have an idea for a match.  With your current GM out of action, I am going to take over for the rest of tonight!

Diddy: Someone kill me now! 

Cranky: I want to hear his match proposal.
(Ash walks out to the stage)
Ash: And since I am acting GM beginning now, I call the shots once again!  I suppose you're wondering what this match idea is about.  I propose we have a match at the Melee.  Diddy Kong and Cranky Kong vs...Donkey Kong!  No interference!  No disqualification!  It will be a match for the ages!  And if you don't take the match, you're both fired! 

Diddy: That scoundrel!  He can't do this to us! 

Cranky: Actually, he can.  He is acting manager, you know. 

Diddy: The latest match to be added to the Melee...ulp!  Us vs DK!

Cranky: I'll get Chris Berman on the phone to replace us just in case we don't survive the match!

(Bowser's face appears on the jumbotron.)   

Bowser: Ketchum, you're crazy!  Now, I like the match you made, and it will go on as scheduled at the Melee!  But that's beside the point!  You were banned from the premises after Jman beat you in that match!  I'm only going to tell you this once!  I am issuing a challenge, GM vs GM!  I, Bowser Koopa, along with Mario will face you and your Assassins at the Melee!  Whoever's team loses, leaves the show for good!  I assure you, whether I win or lose, I will make you suffer for what you did to me earlier tonight! 

Diddy: Ash is speechless!

Bowser: Oh wait, there's something I forgot to mention!  I have a second partner.  I've been training him in all the dirty ways of wrestling for months now.  His name is PAPER...LUIGI!!!!

(PaperLuigi reveals himself to the crowd.  He comes in from the crowd and poses in the ring.)

Cranky: I swear I saw that guy and I thought he was a fan!  How many secret wrestlers does Bowser have? 

Diddy: I don't know, but Ash Ketchum is just in shock.  It's no secret this PaperLuigi has been working out!  Look at those forearms!  He could crush Ash's balloon head! 

Bowser: And just in case you think you can run away, this match will take place inside a steel prison!!

Diddy: Oh my word!  Steel Prison Slaughter match!  No way!  I never thought I'd say this, but go Bowser!

Bowser: See you at the Melee, sweetie! 

Diddy: Ash is in complete panic mode.  He thought he'd put Bowser out of comission, but all he did was stir up the Koopa King's anger!  At the Melee, Ash and his assassins vs Bowser, Mario, and newcomer PaperLuigi!  See you at the Melee!  Goodnight everybody!
I always figured "Time to tip the scales" was Wario's everyday motto.

« Reply #243 on: September 04, 2007, 10:59:41 PM »
It's no secret this PaperLuigi has been working out!  Look at those forearms!  He could crush Ash's balloon head! 

I like, I like.  :)
Luigison: Question everything!
Me: Why?

Jman

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« Reply #244 on: September 05, 2007, 09:47:16 PM »
Cranky: Welcome one and all to the 1st annual Super Smash Brothers Melee Rumble!!  This gala event will feature 5 matches, each holding a measure of significance.  And the first up on the list, the Ice Climbers taking on Lemmy and Iggy Koopa in a tag team match!  My partner Diddy is in the locker room standing by with the champions. 

Diddy: Thanks Cranky!  I'm here with the tag team champions, Lemmy and Iggy Koopa, better known as the Koopa Twins.  How do you guys plan to fight the Ice Climbers?  They aren't your typical opponent! 

Lemmy: Yeah, we found that out recently!  If it hadn't been for Roy and Link, they might be the champs right now!  But I think it'll be good to have a fair fight with no interference so we can beat those Ice Climbers fair and square and retain our titles!

Diddy:  There's the word of the day!  Back to you, Cranky!

Cranky: Thanks Diddy!  With me now is my temporary co-commentator, Luigi. 

Luigi: That's...nevermind.  I wish I'd never said that line in the first place, all those years ago!

Cranky: Luigi, we all know you have a rough match coming up in the main event tonight, vs Link.  We all know you have a huge score to settle with the champion!

Luigi: Well, name it, and he's done it to me or one of my allies over the past few weeks.  He injured my number one fangirl, kidnapped Daisy, all sorts of the low, despicable stuff you'd expect from him!

Cranky: Well, it looks like Diddy's coming back down, so you can go prepare for your match!  Good luck. 

Luigi: Thanks.

Cranky: Luigi Mario, everybody.  The number one contender is taking on the champion Link in a Ladder Match, the main event, later tonight!  They're getting the ring set up for our first bout!  The tag team titles are on the line, next!
I always figured "Time to tip the scales" was Wario's everyday motto.

Jman

  • Score
« Reply #245 on: January 11, 2008, 11:27:35 PM »
Long overdue, I know.  Finally had a spark of inspiration, so here's the first match in its entirety.

Diddy: Welcome back to the Melee Rumble!  Let's recap how this began, with a flashback to last week! 

(flashback)

Cranky: More on that later on tonight! Right now, the tag team titles are on the line! Lemmy and Iggy Koopa taking on the Ice Climbers in a rematch from two weeks ago! They also have a triple threat tag team match against these same Ice climbers, and Wario and waluigi, who had a classic match against the Mario Brothers back when they were the tag champs.

Diddy: The team of Lemmy and Iggy starting off great as they dominate the Ice Climbers early on, looking to retain their titles! The Koopa Twins roughing up Nana! She's protecting Popo so the Ice Climbers don't lose any lives early!

Cranky: Popo goes after Lemmy with left and rights! Now he's got a homerun bat! Iggy with a shot from behind sending Popo flying! He dropped his bat! Nana's got it! She's behind the Koopa Twins! Watch out! She swings and drives both of them out of here! A two run homer for Nana and she's put Popo and herself inline to win the tag titles!

Diddy: A bomb just fell right into Iggy Koopa's lap! Boom! He's eliminated! It comes down to Lemmy and Popo for the tag team titles! And Popo's got a beam sword! Wait a minute! Link's down on the battleground! And Roy Koopa is with him!

Cranky: Link throws Popo into the ring! Roy's got a steel chair! Also there's a table in the ring! Link kicks Popo below the belt! My gosh!

Link: I hope you're watching, Luigi! Because this is what I will do to you in three days in our ladder match for my title!

Diddy: Link goes to grab, Hey! Popo springing to life as he tries to fight off Link! Roy with a chair! Popo with a dropkick crushing Roy's head with the chair! Uh oh! Link with another chair! And he lays out the ice climber!

Cranky: Hey!! It's Nana, Lemmy and Iggy! They storm the ring! Lemmy and Iggy take Roy down with a double clothesline! Now Link turns to face Nana! Link's got that look again, oh no.

Diddy: Dang it no! Put her down! Leave her alone, champ! Wait a minute! It's Luigi! The #1 contender for Link's SSB title! Luigi is here! Link hightails it! Luigi hoisting Roy for the Luigi Bomb as Link watches! And Luigi bombs Roy through his own table!

(end of flashback.) 
Diddy: One detail of this match we keep forgetting to mention is that this is a triple threat tag team match!  Wario and Waluigi are the other team that has been neglected in all conversation.  Here they come to the ring!  They look psyched to be in their first big match since their classic match with the Mario Brothers!

Cranky: That they do.  They climb in the ring!  Look at them pose on the ropes.  They are ready to go! 

Diddy: They'd better be, because the champions are coming down to the arena right now!  Fresh off of an interview in the locker room, and a victory by disqualification on the last edition of Smash Brothers Live!  They look set to fight. 

Cranky: Lemmy and Iggy seem to be good guys.  I like the Ice Climbers also.  I'm not so sure I'd be real crazy about Wario and Waluigi taking home the title.  But hey, whoever is left standing tonight, it's going to be one heck of a match, a solid opener, and whoever wins the title is well-deserving! 

Diddy: Here come the aforementioned Koopa Twins, Lemmy and Iggy!  The ring has risen up around them.  This is going to be a WWE style match!  Teams can only be eliminated by Smash Brothers rules if they are out of the ring.  This makes leaving the ring for items a big risk every time!  Here come the Ice Climbers!  Nana and Popo have an advantage over the other fighters.  Only Popo's damage and knockouts count!  You could smack Nana around all day in a fight, and it would be completely ineffective!  That should be the strategy they use tonight!

Cranky: The officials enter the ring, and there's the bell!  The Melee is underway!  Popo starts off against Iggy throwing punches and driving one half of the tag team champions into the corner!  He refuses to let up!  The challenger is really starting off strong!  Now the other challenger, Wario gets into it!  They're both smashing Iggy in that corner!

Diddy: Finally, the official breaks it up, and Iggy drops to his knees.  Boy, they are trying to oust the champions early! 

Cranky: Popo visibly still upset about how the tag title match on Live went!  Iggy stumbles to his feet, where Wario is waiting!  Look at the strength of the challenger!  He just threw the Koopa kid across the ring like a rag doll!  Popo goes after Wario now! 

Diddy: Meanwhile, Lemmy's going crazy in his corner!  He realizes that their reign could be short lived!  Remember, this match has a dual set of rules.  It will either be settled in traditional Smash Brothers style, or a series of pins!  Wario drops a leg on Iggy!  That has got to hurt!

Cranky: That's an understatement!  Iggy Koopa is being destroyed out there!  Smash attack by Wario!  Iggy just dodged it!  This has been the longest minute of Iggy Koopa's Smash Brothers career!  Now he falls into the corner!  But not before he makes a tag to his brother Lemmy!  Here comes the other half of the champions! 

Diddy: Lemmy with a clothesline to each man, knocking them down!  Now he approaches Wario!  He slides into Wario's knee and knocks the big man down!  Now he slides into Popo, knocking him down!  Lemmy knows he's got to land as many attacks as he can on both challengers!  With the tag team championship at stake, and the combined rules in effect, Lemmy and Iggy face elimination by pinfall or knockout!  The last team standing wins the titles!

Cranky: Wario tags Waluigi and Popo tags Nana!  It's an almost unfair advantage for the Ice Climbers!  Nana doesn't count as a pin or a knockout!  However, because of this advantage, SSB has adopted the Nana Rule, stating that her knockouts or pins won't count! 

Diddy: The good thing is she can give her teammate a break!  Popo resting up nicely.  So is Iggy Koopa.  Lemmy lands a body splash on a fallen Waluigi!  But he doesn't see Nana, who's gone to the top rope!  It's a flying splash!  Knocking Lemmy down!  Nana's the only one standing!  She tags Popo!  Here he comes over the rope, landing on Lemmy!  It's a pin! 1,2, Lemmy kicks out!  Popo trying to surprise the champion with a pin!

Cranky: Now Waluigi takes out Lemmy with a cross body clothesline!  Popo approaches Waluigi and vaults himself onto the challenger's shoulders!  And it's a hurricanrana!  He's got Waluigi pinned down!  1,2, and a kickout! 

Diddy: So close once again!  Popo wants a showdown between he, Nana, and the Koopa twins!  Waluigi is currently being pursued by Lemmy!  The Koopa twin goes for another slide, but Waluigi grabs his leg!  Waluigi swings Lemmy and knocks Popo down in the process!  He throws the champion away!  Lemmy's traveling rapidly in the air!  Now he's trying to come back to the arena floor and the ring!  He reaches for the edge as he plummets!  He got it!

Cranky: How close was that?  We were almost guaranteed new tag champions!  That, of course will be the situation if Lemmy or Iggy is eliminated!  Lemmy is left undetected, giving him a chance to climb back in the ring!  All three competitors putting on a show here tonight at the Melee! 

Diddy: I love it!  The competitiveness just brings a sense of beauty to this sport!  Lemmy planted by Popo!  Now the Ice Climber kicks Waluigi in the jaw, knocking him for a loop!  Popo leaps to the top rope!  A frog splash onto Lemmy!  Here's the cover! 1,2, 3!  The champions are out of it!  No matter what happens now, we will see a crowning of new tag team champions!

Cranky: The field is now wide open in this one!  It's ice vs power!  Waluigi tags in Wario, and he flattens Popo!  Now the big man stalks the ice climber!  Popo to his feet now, but he meets Wario's chiseled arm!  It's a clothesline!  Popo is down, and Wario will toss him out of the ring!

Diddy: Wario standing in the ring with his arms raised triumphantly in the air!  He has successfully grounded the high flying challenger Popo, who now writhes in agony outside the ring!  Popo still down, but there's no hurry for him to get back in the ring!  There's no count out because the arena floor is reserved for traditional Super Smash Brothers knockouts!  Knockouts which Wario doesn't seem to be going for!  He just wants Popo back in the ring!

Cranky: Wario has sure slowed this match down!  This is a good thing for the Wicked Brothers, because it means Waluigi can relax and not have to worry about having to receive a tag from his teammate so soon!  Popo has finally climbed back into the ring!  Wario's been waiting!  He runs toward the challenger and a spear!  He put an NFL sized hit on Popo!  If he wasn't suffering before, he certainly is now!

Diddy: Things in this match have gone from looking great to grim for the Ice Climbers!  Wario came in and quickly halted the momentum with some power moves.  Popo doesn't want to put Nana in the same ring with this monster!  He's going solo!  But look at her!  She wants in!  Can Popo survive?  He tries to lunge for the corner, but Wario grabs his leg!  Spinebuster!  Here's a cover! 1,2, kickout! 

Cranky: Wario has dominated since he came back into the match!  He grabs Popo again and lifts him up for a powerbomb!  Here it comes!  Wario sits down!  He's got a cover! 1,2, another kickout!  Popo somehow managing to survive every blow laid on him by the big man Wario!  But he has to make a tag!  He doesn't want to throw Nana into the fire, but look at her!  She is charged up!  She wants to give her teammate a rest! 

Diddy: Wario grabs Popo and throws him out of the ring again!  This time, he'll follow his opponent to the floor!  He grabs his opponent by the legs!  Here comes the big swing!  Wario building up speed, now he lets Popo go!  Popo flies off the edge, this could be it!  He uses the remainder of his strength to reach for the platform!  He got it!!  He just got it!  Now he flips himself over using the edge and kicks Wario!  He slides into Wario and knocks him down!  Both fighters are down!  Remember, there's no count out under these rules, so these men can lay here for as long as it takes! 

Cranky: What an effort put forth by Popo and Wario in this match!  Popo eliminated the tag team champions, but then Waluigi tagged in Wario who surprised Popo with some powerful moves, nearly knocking the ice climbing warrior out!  He might be down for the count here!  They've definitely been down for over ten seconds now!  Under normal circumstances, it would be a double count out, and Lemmy and Iggy would retain! 

Diddy: That's not the case tonight, however!  The tag champions eliminated earlier in the match, and this match still open!  But you have to wonder just how much Popo has left! 

Cranky: Moments like this are where champions are made!  Wario reaches his feet first and begins dragging Popo back towards the ring! 

Diddy: Wario tosses the challenger back in the ring and sits on him!  Here's a cover! 1,2, and Popo just gets the shoulder up!  He is still hanging on in this match!  Now Wario drags the ice climber to his feet.  Popo just drapes over Wario's shoulder!  Here comes another spinebuster!  Wario may have just broken him in half!  Now he eyes Nana!  He walks over to her and takes a swing!  She ducks out of the way!  Now she attacks Wario's legs and he bounces off the ropes! 

Cranky: Way to go, Nana!  Wario is down as a result of the retaliation by the young female ice climber!  Both men are down again, and this time, they can be counted out because they're in the ring!  Popo trying to struggle to his feet!  Wario trying to do the same!  Love him or hate him, Wario is doing everything he can to try and claim the tag championship for his team!  His opponent doing everything he can to stand up to Wario's monstrosity!

Diddy: Popo made it to his feet first!  He's looking at Nana!  She wants into the matchup!  He stumbles over Wario to make the tag!  Nana comes into the ring, looking to give her teammate a break!  Wario just managed to make it to his feet before the count of ten!  He grabs Nana!  Another spinebuster!  Nana is down, and now Wario pulls Popo over the rope into the ring again!  He's not even legal!  Wario throws Popo into Nana! 

Cranky: Nana won't count if she's pinned!  Popo isn't the legal man!  How will it end?  Wario grabs both Ice Climbers and tosses them out of the ring!  He's going to go for the traditional knockout!  Wario climbs down and approaches his opponents!  He does a smash attack, but Nana blocks a potential knockout and is sent flying!  She's outta here!  It's just Popo and Wario on the floor!

Diddy: By rule, Waluigi and Wario cannot double team unless they are in the ring, so this is just a one on one battle!  Popo jumps over Wario and does a smash attack!  Wario is sent flying!  But he'll come back and grab the edge!  Popo retreats to the ring!  He's daring the big man to come back to the ring!  Wario does!  Waluigi wants a tag, but Wario refuses!  Wario's not paying attention!  Popo knees Wario in the gut!  He and Nana switch places and tag!  Popo is the legal man once more! Now he gets ready for his signature move, the Ice Pick!  I can't believe what I'm seeing!  Popo actually has Wario suspended in midair! 

Cranky: No way!  Here we go!  The Ice Pick!  Wario's landing shakes the ring!  Popo falls on top of him!  It's a cover! 1,2,3!!  The Ice Climbers have done it!  They have climbed the mountain!  The Ice Climbers have won the tag team championship!  Nana reappears from the locker room and hugs Popo!  What an opening match!

Diddy: Congratulations to the Ice Climbers on their amazing victory here tonight!  They are your new tag team champions!  Jack Harvest is standing by, hoping for an interview with the new champions.  We'll take a break, and hopefully Jack can catch up with them when we come back!  Ice Climbers win the Tag Team Championship, there's plenty of action on deck, we're taking a break!  Back in a minute!     
« Last Edit: January 11, 2008, 11:47:13 PM by Jman »
I always figured "Time to tip the scales" was Wario's everyday motto.

Jman

  • Score
« Reply #246 on: January 11, 2008, 11:51:39 PM »
By the way, I'm going to try and premiere a third season of SSB Live to coincide with the release of Brawl.
I always figured "Time to tip the scales" was Wario's everyday motto.

Jman

  • Score
« Reply #247 on: January 13, 2008, 10:48:47 PM »
Diddy: We are back at the Melee!  The crowd is still buzzing about the Ice Climbers' victory over the Wicked Brothers and the Koopa Twins, and now we go live to Jack Harvest in the locker room.

Jack: Thanks Diddy.  I'm here with the newly crowned tag team champions, Popo and Nana.  What a match, what an effort put up by you guys to come away with the titles. 

Popo: Thanks, Jack.  We were just glad to have the chance to compete!  All the credit in the world goes to my teammate, Nana, for motivating me in this match.  When she blocked me from Wario's smash, that gave me the chance I needed to get back our momentum and lure Wario back to the ring! 

Jack: You looked like you really took a beating out there!  Talk about a size disadvantage!  How did you do it?

Popo:  Me and Nana were in it together right until the very end.  I didn't want to throw her in there with Wario, but she wouldn't take no for an answer, came in and gave me a chance to rest up.  That was absolutely crucial! 

Jack: Nana, do you have anything to say about this?

Nana: I think Popo said it all!  We're really happy to be here, and we're looking forward to defending the title! 

Jack: Well there you have it!  Nana and Popo are your tag team champions, and...

(Link has walked up on the conversation)

Diddy: It's Link!

Cranky: What the heck does he want?

(Link grabs microphone from Jack)

Link: So, I suppose you think you're pretty tough, don't you?  (He holds up the SSB title belt)  You see this?  You may be a tag team champion, but there's one thing you'll never be...the Super Smash Brothers World Champion!  To prove my point, when I retain my title tonight, I'll give you a title shot on the next episode of Super Smash Brothers Live!

Diddy: Whoa!  That's a pretty big promise! 

Nana: Popo doesn't have to prove anything to you, you oversized elf!  Doesn't Santa miss you at the North Pole?

Cranky: Wow!  A stinging remark from the usually sweet natured Nana!

Link: I thought so.  Nevermind then.  Of course, I'd have dropped you in a matter of a couple of minutes anyway!

Popo: You just keep running your mouth, big shot!  Come on, Nana!  Let's get out of here!  We've actually accomplished something tonight!  (They walk away) 

Diddy: Hey wait!  Link just grabbed Nana from behind!  Popo rushes back!  Oh!  He got Link with a right hand!  A flurry of right hands knocks the champion down!  Now Nana and
Popo leave!  Link is down!  And now Jack Harvest takes back his microphone!

Jack: You heard it here first!  A possible title match for SSB Live should Link retain here tonight!

Cranky: What started out as a friendly interview with the new tag champions winds up with Link issuing a future title shot to Popo!  Then there was some extra stuff.  Thankfully no one was hurt, but Link probably feels that shot to the jaw right about now!  Our next match in the Melee will feature Yoshi, Pikachu, Pichu, and Kirby in a four way match for the Nintendo Entertainment Title! 

Diddy: That and much more still to come tonight!  This is the Super Smash Brothers Melee Rumble!  We'll be right back!   
I always figured "Time to tip the scales" was Wario's everyday motto.

Jman

  • Score
« Reply #248 on: February 05, 2008, 08:17:54 PM »
Cranky: Welcome back to the Melee!  Kirby's coming down to the ring to participate in our next match, a four way fight for the Nintendo Entertainment Championship!  Perhaps the only good thing former GM Ash Ketchum ever did was create this championship belt.  Of course, his original purpose was to give the title to Pikachu, and he would stop at nothing to make sure that plan went undisturbed! 

(Flashback: Season 1)

Cranky: A new SSB title belt has been created by Ash. It is the brand new Nintendo Entertainment Championship! That is the championship that Yoshi and Pikachu will be fighting for!

(clip switched)

Diddy: Here we go! Yoshi and Pikachu for the Nintendo entertainment championship! Like Cranky just told you! They start off circling each other. Yoshi takes Pikachu down! Then he misses with a headbutt! Pikachu connects with a thundershock, and Yoshi is down!

(clip switched)

Diddy: Yoshi is down, Pikachu covers! 1,2, Yoshi kicked out! If Pikachu can defeat Yoshi, he will become the first Pokemon to hold a title! Pikachu and Yoshi back to their feet! Yoshi with a clubbing headbutt! Pikachu is dazed! Yoshi with a ground pound landing on Pikachu! 1,2, Pikachu just got the shoulder up! So close for Yoshi!
(clip switched)

Donkey:Yoshi grabs the bat! pikachu's in trouble! Waitaminute! It's Ash Ketchum back for more! He releases a Venasaur on Yoshi! Yoshi's in trouble now!

Cranky: Here comes Mario down to the ring! Mario with a right hand to Ash knocking him down! Now he pulls out his hammer!!! Mario then gets caught by Venasaur and now Pikachu whacks Yoshi with the bat and that's all she wrote! Dangit!

Cranky: Pikachu becomes the champion because Ash cheated!
(end of flashback)

Diddy: And as we all know, Yoshi would wind up taking the title later after Link, for no apparent reason that I can remember, interfered by clobbering Ash and hitting his famous "Hyrulian Neckdrop," leading to a pin on Pikachu.  Yoshi has held the title ever since. 

Cranky: He's put just about every single one of his opponents away with "The Move," a finisher not yet properly named, but it has done the trick every time, helping him hang on to the title.  Well tonight, as previously mentioned, Yoshi will be facing three opponents at the same time!

Diddy: He's had quite a history against Pikachu, Pichu had one match, a shocking upset over Falco Lombardi, who we also have only seen in action once!  Kirby is getting his first title shot since the very first episode of SSB Live, which also marked the beginning of his rivalry against Link!   It was announced at a press conference before the Melee, that Falco and his good friend Fox Mccloud will have a 100 meter race to determine which one of them will be entered into the Melee Rumble, a battle starring pretty much everyone on the roster to determine who will get the next shot at the SSB Title. 

Cranky: But what about Link's title shot offer to Popo earlier?

Diddy: Aw, Link never followed the rules!  Actually, the rules state that no champions will be allowed to compete in the Rumble match.  He and Nana already won the tag team championship.  Anyway, this means he, Nana, whoever becomes the SSB champion, and whoever becomes the NE champion, will all be sitting out.

Cranky: At long last, all four competitors are in the ring!  This match is going to follow the same guidelines as the last one, where a pin or a traditional SSB knockout eliminates one contender at a time, and the last one left is the winner, and new champion unless Yoshi retains yet again.

Diddy: Here we go!  All three challengers immediately gang up on Yoshi, trying to take out the champion!  Here's a nasty smash by Pikachu, throwing the champ for a loop!  Pichu then tackles Pikachu!  Kirby tries to grab the dazed champion, but Yoshi slips out of his grasp!  Ground Pound on Kirby!  That one has to sting!  Pichu and Pikachu battling it out on the other side of the ring!

Cranky: Well Diddy, it looks like they forgot about their early plans to oust Yoshi!  I just hope this match has a decent length!

Diddy: Why is that?

Cranky: I just looked on the match card, and our match against DK is right up after this one!

Diddy: Oh no!  Who's going to announce the rest of the Melee if we don't survive?

Cranky: Well, I couldn't get Chris Berman, but Jack Harvest and Lemmy Koopa have agreed to take over once we leave.

Diddy: Jack Harvest and Lemmy Koopa...what a pair that should be!  While Cranky and I were talking, Pikachu was able to wrestle Pichu down, and now it appears that he is completely draining Pichu with his patented Shock Lock!  Yoshi and Kirby still dueling in the corner closest to us!  Oh wait!  Pichu could be close to a tap!  Referee lifts his hand up once, and it flops down!  Up again, and down again!  One more time and we're down to three!  Here's the lift, and it stays up!  Pichu still has some life left in him!

Cranky: On the other side, Kirby now has the champion Yoshi in a leglock!  Yoshi trying to reach the rope to break the hold!  No slow start to this match!  Usually it slows down after the first elimination!

Diddy: Now Pichu has turned the tables on Pikachu with a Shock Lock of his own!  Then again, they are basically the same Pokemon!  Pichu really putting the pressure on and shocking Pika's brains!  Now he lets up on the hold and Pikachu just lays there!  Pichu going to the top rope!  He twists in the air and drills Pikachu, shocking him even more!  Pikachu now in trouble!

Cranky: Kirby has forced the champion into all kinds of trouble as well!  But back to Pichu, he has Pikachu in a pin! 1,2, Pikachu just kicked out!  Both of them are down, and Yoshi trying to escape the grasp of Kirby, who seems to be readying for a starslam!

Diddy: He just signaled for it!  Here comes a warpstar!  Kirby hops on it with the champion in tow!  Here he goes!  Starslam!  Yoshi hits the ground and he is out!  Kirby rolls into a cover! 1,2,3!  The champion is eliminated!  Now Pichu readying Pikachu for an Electro Drop!  And he hits it!  Pikachu is down, Pichu rolls him up!  1,2,3!  There's the second pin in seconds! 

Cranky:  It is Pichu vs Kirby for the NE title!  We will have a new champion when this match is finished!  Kirby and Pichu stare each other down!  Now each slowly approaches the other!  Pichu throws a punch and another!  Kirby counters with a punch of his own!  It's a slugfest as both continue throwing punches! 

Diddy: Kirby blocks a Pichu punch and lays him out!  Pichu went down like a stone!  A quick cover!  Pichu kicks out at 2!  Kirby waits for Pichu to come back to his feet!  Kirby and Pichu the two members left after simultaneously taking the champion Yoshi and Pikachu out by pinfall!

Cranky: Look out!  Look out!

Diddy: Kirby with a spear!  Pichu is out!  He has got to be knocked out cold!  Kirby drops into a cover! 1,2,3!  Kirby is the new NE champion! 

Cranky: Both championships have changed hands so far tonight!  We'll have brand new champions on SSB Live tomorrow night!  Kirby has finally captured a championship!  He's waited for his shot since Link tackled him off of an edge in a triple threat match for the SSB championship

Diddy: We can't find Jack Harvest, so I guess any sort of interview with Kirby is off! 
(Camera cuts to backstage.  Ash Ketchum is walking around with his assassins.)

Ash: What a glorious night this is going to be!  The NE title match was a disaster because Pikachu lost, but my creation, the monster Donkey Kong will soon do away with the two commentators I despise the most: his own relatives Diddy and Cranky!  Oh Ganon!

Ganon: Yes?

Ash: Go stand by ringside and prevent anyone from interfering in the next match!

Ganon: Okay.  You can count on me to destroy anyone who might try and save Cranky and Diddy!  (Ganon leaves)

Ash: Come my assassins, we will retreat to our private chambers to view this match! 
(Camera cuts back to Diddy, Cranky)

Diddy: Ash bossing everyone around...just like when he was GM.  Where's J-man when you need him?

Cranky: Well, he never formally announced his leave of absense, but I would guess he's been taking a break.  We haven't seen him since the season premiere.   Meanwhile Ash is acting like he's still running the show.   Whatever happened to the stipulation from he and J-man's match at last year's UST?

Diddy: I don't know, Ash was never one to follow the rules!  Anyway, if you hear different voices when we come back, don't be alarmed.  In fact, I urge you to get used to them, because Cranky and I might not be coming back!  It's us vs DK!  When we come back!   
I always figured "Time to tip the scales" was Wario's everyday motto.

Jman

  • Score
« Reply #249 on: February 10, 2008, 06:12:49 PM »
Jack Harvest: We're back here at the Melee!  And by we, I mean me, Jack Harvest, and my broadcast partner, Lemmy Koopa!  Lemmy?

Lemmy: With Cranky and Diddy facing Donkey Kong, we'll be taking you the rest of the way here, and they will rejoin Jack later when I leave for the Rumble, that is, if they don't get hurt!

Jack: DK was turned into a monster by Ash Ketchum awhile back!  At last year's UST, Ash revealed the new Donkey Kong to the crowd.  DK then assaulted the Mario Brothers, and chokeslammed Jman from the ramp when all he was trying to do was protect his friend, Luigi Lover! 

Lemmy: Unfortunately, neither have been with us since early in the season!  LL let her second career in ice hockey take center stage, and I think she was also in a band the last time she made an appearance!

Jack: Anyway, here come Cranky and Diddy!  The only consistent announcing team this program has ever had!  This match was inserted by Ash Ketchum when he became acting manager after an attack by his assassins left Bowser slightly injured.  We'll get more into that later on! 

Ness: This really isn't fair!  Cranky and Diddy have only been in the ring once during this entire series!  They beat Morton Koopa and Bowser with some help from Mario!  And here comes the monster DK!

Jack: Ganon was at ringside when I got down here.  I had to tell him I was taking over commentary to avoid a beating!  I saw you also had to, Lemmy! 

Lemmy: Yeah, that's right.  That guy's not messing around!  He's going to make sure no one interferes in the match!  He's like a giant thug bodyguard!

Jack: DK, Cranky and Diddy are in the ring and we are ready to go!  There's the bell!  Cranky and Diddy line up on different sides of DK!  They're trying to surround him and make him think about who to go after first!

Lemmy: That's the thing...maybe Diddy's fast enough to avoid being swept up by DK, but Cranky is kind of an old guy, no disrespect, so he's more vulnerable!  Diddy should try and protect his broadcast partner!  DK just tries to smash both of them, but they manage to sneak behind him.  Obviously, DK's so big it's going to take more than one man to take him down.  Well, in this situation anyway! 

Jack: Right.  Neither of these guys are polished fighters, but someone like Mario could probably fare pretty well against DK.  Uh oh!  DK's got Diddy!  Chokeslam!  Now Cranky slides and takes out the big ape at the knees!  Way to go, Cranky!  DK writhing in pain!  Now Cranky goes outside the ring to grab an item!  But he forgot about Ganon!  Ganon grabs him and throws him into the ringpost!  That has to hurt!

Lemmy: In the ring, DK waits for Diddy to return to his feet!  Look at that sick grin on his face!

Jack: Oh here it comes!  A spear!  DK may have just broken Diddy in half!  These guys are in a world of trouble!  Now he orders Ganon to bring Cranky into the ring!  There's no DQ, and DK's taking full advantage!  Ganon's bringing weapons into the ring as well!  Where on earth did he get that table?

Lemmy: I don't have a clue, but DK might be about to end the careers of the Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler of Super Smash Brothers!  Now DK commanding Ganon to hold Cranky up while he brandishes a barbed wire bat!  What is going on?  This is too much!  Somebody stop this for the sake of decency!
(Queen's "The Hero" begins playing over the speakers)

Jack: Wait a minute!  Who could this possibly be?  Oh my...OH MY!!!!

Both: It's Jman!!!!

Lemmy: Jman is back!  And he's gotten everyone's attention!  Look at him!  He looks great!  DK and Ganon are livid!  They're probably asking why?  Why did he pick tonight of all nights to come back?  I'll tell you why!  This is the SSB Melee Rumble!  He needs to set some things right!

Jack: I can hardly hear you, pal!  It's so unbelieveably loud right now!  This crowd is going crazy!  Jman is walking toward the ring!  Now he just decides to run and dive!  Jman's in the ring!  But DK and Ganon double team him!  This match is still going on, but DK's probably waiting for a bell!  He's not going to get one!  Cranky and Diddy have left the ring, and now it's a double team on Jman!

Lemmy: They are really letting him have it!  Maybe now he's realizing that it wasn't such a great idea to invade the ring!  Oh wait!  Nevermind!  He kicks Ganon in the gut!  Now he swings the Zelda villain into DK! 

Jack: Jman quickly grabs Ganon and turns him upside down!  Tombstone piledriver!  A tombstone to Ganon!  DK's defenseless now!  DK's backing away!  He wants nothing to do with Jman!  But he runs smack dab into a metal chair shot from Diddy!  He's dazed, but stays on his feet!

Lemmy: Oh, look out!  Jman grabs DK and sets him up for another one!  Tombstone piledriver connects!  Jman rolls out of the ring!  No DQ, this is all legal!  Diddy rolls Cranky onto DK!  Way to let the old man get a pin, Diddy!  1,2,3!  Diddy and Cranky have survived!  Ash Ketchum must be going berserk right now!

Jack: I can only imagine!  Jman returns AND his plan to destroy Cranky and Diddy fails?  He is throwing chairs across his private viewing room! 

Lemmy: Well, that wasn't much of a match, but what a moment!  Jman returns to save the duo he hand picked to call all the fights!  Ash Ketchum with his assassins vs Bowser, Mario, and Paper Luigi!  This is a first: a Steel Prison Slaughter tag team match!  That's up next!

Jack: Wait, it looks like Jman has something to say!  Don't cut to that commercial just yet!  Look at him!  He's politely asking the crowd to shut up so he can deliver his message!

Jman: Hey guys!  I would've been here earlier, but my plane didn't get in until about 20 minutes ago!

Jack: Nice.

Jman: I expected to get here tonight and see a great Super Smash match in front of the greatest fans in the world!

Jack: Here we go again!

Diddy: What?  I can't hear a word you're saying!

Jack: Exactly!

Jman: But when I got here, I saw Cranky and Diddy, two guys whom I consider the best tag team in network broadcasting, and they were in the ring with DK. 

Lemmy: There's Cranky and Diddy coming to sit down.  Move over, Jack!

Jman: Cranky, Diddy, I don't believe for a second that you chose to face DK in the ring!  No, you were set up, and I think I know who set you up!  You see, I happen to have kept up with the shows while being away, and I saw that a certain someone weaseled his way back into my ring!  I just hope Bowser's team wins tonight, because if not tonight, then I will make sure Ash Ketchum never screws anyone over again!

Lemmy: Uh oh!  Ash has heard enough! 

Jack: He'd better be careful!  He has a match in a few minutes!  He's standing on the top ramp.

Ash: You just had to come back tonight, didn't you?  You just had to ruin my plans to have DK humiliate his own flesh and blood!  Well I've got news for you!  While you were on your precious "vacation," viewership dropped substantially!  SSB lost so much money that your stock brokers sold off your ownership stocks!  And guess who bought them?  (points to himself)

Cranky: NO!  No!!! 

Ash: Yes Jman.  My plan has ultimately succeeded.  Without your influence, your company lost everything, and I now own it!  I even own you!  So no longer will you be calling me out to humilate me, I will be doing it to you!  Now, step out of my ring, I'm about to win a match to send Bowser Koopa back to the Mushroom Kingdom unemployed!

Diddy: Please tell me I'm dreaming!
Jack: Believe me Diddy.  I'm 100% awake, and what Ash just said is completely true!  He kept it hidden from all of us that the company was losing money!  Anyway, I can't get over this!  Ash Ketchum now owns the company that Jman built!  And he bought it for the price of a value meal at a fast food joint!  I think I need to lie down!  We'll be right back!
I always figured "Time to tip the scales" was Wario's everyday motto.

Jman

  • Score
« Reply #250 on: February 23, 2008, 01:47:09 AM »
Lemmy: Apparently I'm the only one able to keep his composure during the break!  Unbelieveable what transpired just moments ago.  Ash Ketchum now owns Super Smash Brothers.  He said he bought the stock of the company when Jman's brokers sold it.  Boy, are those brokers going to be sorry!  This was all apart of Ash's master plan!  He ran the company into the ground, putting out a very short season to prevent the company from making any money!  And he successfully kept this hidden from all of us!  It's a tragedy that a scumbag like Ash Ketchum could do this to a great guy like Jman!  I'm sick to my stomach right now!  Hey wait, Jman is still standing in the ring.  Ash climbs into the ring with his microphone.


Ash: Are you deaf?  I told you to get out of my ring, you jobber!  You are going to job to every fighter on the SSB roster until you die!  Now get out of my ring before I have you thrown out!

Jman: This will never, NEVER, be your ring!

Lemmy: Ash just laughs at...oh my!  Jman low blows Ash!  He gets him upside down!  Tombstone piledriver!  Jman has severely damaged Ash just minutes before he's due to participate in match #4 of a suddenly somber Melee!  Well, except for the crowd, they're going nuts right now!  Even in spite of the horrible realization of Ash's ownership, as Queen frontman Freddie Mercury once said, the show must go on!

Jack: Yes it shall!  Here come Ash's assassins down to the ring.  They climb in and stare at their fallen leader.  Something tells me Ash and Jman are going to be at each other's throats until the end of time now!

Diddy: In the meantime, Cranky, I think we should go and rest in the locker room for awhile.  Let's let these rookie commentators call the next match!

Cranky: I'm with you on that one!  We'll see you guys again when Link and Luigi go at it!

Lemmy: Yeah, we've got things under control down here!

(camera cuts to Jman walking backstage)

Mario: Hey!  Jman!  Sorry about what happened earlier! 

Jman: Don't be sorry.  Kill him!  Beat that son of a gun senseless until he wishes he was dead!  You've got the resources in the cage!  Do it!

Mario: Yeah...

Jack: Yeah, I restate what I said moments ago.  It's going to be a bloody journey for Jman and Ash!  In the meantime, here come Mario, Bowser, and newcomer Paper Luigi!  This whole thing started on the last episode of SSB Live before this event!  Yoshi had just retained the NE championship again, and his celebration was interrupted by two masked smashers later found out to be working for Ash!

Lemmy: Yeah, everyone from Mario to Bowser came to Yoshi's aid, but all were planted facefirst into the ramp!  Bowser later announced that this match was to take place, and he revealed his latest prospect, Paper Luigi!  Look at this guy!  My old man may be a jerk, but you can't argue against him when it comes to managing!  He really has this guy looking like a chiseled Hulk Hogan in his prime!

Jack: I'm starting to think Ash is messing with the wrong crowd!  He just got tombstoned by Jman after revealing he basically usurped ownership out from under our beloved company frontman!  Now he'll have to deal with Bowser, Mario, and this new kid Paper Luigi!  Even though he now owns us all, I'm predicting a year of pain for Ash!  Starting tonight!

Lemmy: Well, obviously Ash is now immune to firings, so Bowser is fighting for his job here!  My question is, could Ash appoint himself GM while owning the company?

Jack: Probably.  Jman never did, but that's only because he has class!  He gave Ash the GM position, Ash abused it, that led to their match at the UST, but Ash disobeyed the ruling, secretly staying in SSB since that event. 

Lemmy: Here come Ash and his assassins!  Listen to this crowd!  As loud as the cheers were for Jman upon his return, the boos are equally loud for SSB's new owner.  Ash revealing tonight that he now owns the entire company.  These fans hate it!  I'm pretty sure that Ash's ownership will drive some fans away! 

Jack: Let's just concentrate on the match at hand.  The giant steel cage used for Steel Prison Slaughter is starting to come down from the ceiling.  Ash and his cronies hop in the ring and he poses some more.  Something tells me these two masked smashers are going to be doing a lot of dirty work for Ash in the future! 

Lemmy: Here come Bowser, Mario, and Paper Luigi!  Bowser showing off his young prize pupil to the crowd, and they love him!  Don't get me wrong, under any other circumstance, they would probably boo him, but this situation casts Bowser as the lesser of two evils!  Now, there is just one way to win a Steel Prison Slaughter match:  pin or make your opponent tap out to a submission hold. This is the first ever tag team match to be held inside a steel prison!  It should be a good one!

Jack: That it should!  And still to come tonight, the rumble itself, and Link vs Luigi in a ladder match for the SSB title!  Anyway, the competitors are all in the ring.  The cage is just about set on the ground.  It will be assassin #1 against Mario Mario to start the match!  There could be a ton of bloodshed in this fight! 

Lemmy: There's the bell, and we are underway!  Mario locks up with the nameless assassin in the middle of the ring.  Mario with great leverage, forcing his opponent to the ground!  Now he kicks him in the gut!  Here comes a suplex! 

Jack: Mario being told by Jman to beat Ash senseless, but he'll have to get him in the ring first!

Lemmy: Now Mario whips his opponent across the ring.  And a clothesline knocks him down!  Mario is in this match because he took exception to being planted facefirst on the ramp by Ash's assassins on SSB Live!  Bowser and Paper Luigi look on! 

Jack: Now Mario grabs his opponent and puts him in a sleeper hold!  He's trying to end this thing early! 

Lemmy: Now he changes his mind and breaks the hold!  He drags the assassin to the corner and makes him tag Ash!  Ash Ketchum doesn't want to come in the ring!  But Mario pulls him over the top rope and into the ring!  Mario with a clothesline to Ash!  Now he drags the new owner to his feet!  Here's a drop kick by Mario!  Ash is down, and now Mario makes the tag to Bowser!  Ash is going to get it now!

Jack: Bowser drags Ash to his feet and whips him across the ring!  Ash lucky to duck out of the way of a massive clothesline!  But Bowser makes sure his boot doesn't miss!  Ash goes down again!  He is definitely in trouble now!  Paper Luigi going down outside the ring to grab some items and weapons!  Oh boy!  Here comes the bloodshed!

Lemmy: Among other things, he's grabbing a steel chair, a table, a sledgehammer, boy, for once in my life, I actually feel sorry for Ash!  Wait a minute, no I don't!  Oh look out!

Jack: A surprise attack by the assassins outside the ring!  But now Paper Luigi grabs both of them!  He puts their heads together!  Both assassins are dazed!  Paper Luigi taking that chance to bring the items into the ring!  Ash Ketchum back to his feet and battling with Bowser!  But the King of the Koopas is mercilessly beating away at him!  If Ash cannot get to his corner and make a tag, this is going to be one short match!

Lemmy: Bowser setting up for the Super Koopa Slam!  Here it comes!  Bowser's signature move connects!  Ash Ketchum is a sitting duck in the middle of the ring!  Wait a second!  Here come the assassins into the ring!  Bowser under attack as the assassins double team him!  And they take the King out at the knees!  Bowser goes down!  Now one of the assassins grabs a chair!  Bowser back to his feet!  Assassin with a chair!  Bowser ducks and the chair hits Mario! 

Jack: Mario is knocked off the apron!  Bowser turns around and meets a chairshot!  Bowser and Ash are down in the middle of the ring, Mario is down outside the ring because of a chairshot.  Paper Luigi remains, and he wants into this match!  He's making his SSB debut tonight, and what a way to do it!  The first ever steel cage tag match!  Here's a cover by an assassin! 1,2, and Bowser kicked out!

Lemmy: Bowser at the mercy of the assassins as they ready him for a planting!  But he breaks up the attack and sends them out of the ring!  Bowser tags Paper Luigi!  Here it comes!  The debut of the new kid!  He goes to Ash and brings the owner of SSB to his feet!  Here's a punch to Ash's gut!  Now PL whips him across the ring!  And a vicious clothesline knocks Ash down!

Jack: Paper Luigi grabs a chair and walks back toward Ash!  Look out!  The assassins storm the ring while the referee is dealing with Bowser, who is protesting their entrance!  Here's a low blow to the kid!  He drops his chair, and the assassins set him up for a facefirst plant!  Onto the chair goes Paper Luigi's face! 

Lemmy: The referee turns around and sees a cover being attempted on Paper Luigi!  He prepares to count! 1,2, and Paper Luigi just got the shoulder up!  He kicked out of the assassins' facefirst plant, their signature manuever!  Now the assassins go and get some more weapons!  Ash may be directing the destruction of Paper Luigi, and the end of Bowser's tenure in SSB! 

Jack: Ash stomps on Paper Luigi's head!  Now he puts the young man in a Boston Crab!  The assassins are setting up a table in the middle of the ring!  Ash lets up on the hold, and his assassins grab Paper Luigi!  They roll him onto the table!  They want to plant him through it, but Ash has other plans!  He begins climbing up the side of the cage!  No one's trying to stop him, but now he turns around as he climbs to the very top of the cage! 

Lemmy: What is he going to do here?  Oh here's your answer!  Leg drop from the top of the cage!  Paper Luigi rolled out of the way!  Ash tried to nail him from 15 feet up, but Paper Luigi rolled out of the way, and now they are both just laying there!  There's no count-out in Steel Prison Slaughter, so this could take awhile! 

Jack: The way this match is moving, I think we're due for a quick climax!  Ash is out cold, and now PL rolls on top of him!  This could be it!  But the ref is distracted by the assassins!  Ash has been pinned for about a 5 count, but the ref never saw it!  Now he comes over!  1,2, Ash kicked out! 

Lemmy: In total, it was about an 8 count, but the ref was absent for 6 of them! 

Jack: Paper Luigi gets back to his feet!  So does Ash!  Now Ash realizes what he's up against!  Paper Luigi grabs Ash and puts him in a headlock!  He wants to squeeze it like a grape! 

Lemmy: Physical match so far!  Now Paper Luigi throws Ash to the canvas!  He goes to set up another table!  Ash has been through one table in the match already!  Is he about to go through another?

Jack: Paper Luigi goes to tag Bowser!  He makes the tag, and here comes the Koopa King!  Bowser encounters Ash, who kicks him in the gut!  Ash DDT's Bowser!  Bowser is down, and Ash grabs a chair!  He stands over him and hits him with the chair!  Here's another shot!  And another!

Lemmy: Ash going nuts with the chair!  Now the chair finally breaks after about 15 shots!

Jack: Ash now drops an elbow on Bowser!  I think he just wants to win the match!  if you'll notice, the assassins haven't been in the match officially since the beginning!  Ash somehow hoists the Koopa King onto the table!  Will he try again?  Yes he will!  Ash is going to the side of the cage!  He's climbing to the top of it!

Lemmy: He's crazy!  But now Mario comes over to the side and begins rattling the cage!  Ash hanging on for dear life!  Now the referee tells Mario to get back to his corner!  Ash remains clinged to the side of the cage about fifteen feet in the air!  Now, there's no escape from the cage until someone has won the match, but there are platforms within the cage that one can jump from.

Jack: Ash has now reached one of those platforms!  Watch out!  Here it comes!  He's signaling for an elbow drop from 15 feet in the air!  Bowser finally has movement!  Here comes Ash!  Elbow drop through the table!  He crushed Bowser through the table!  That's it!  Bowser's out of a job! 

Lemmy: No he's not!  Bowser's still got hope!  The referee was knocked down in the process of Ash's elbow drop!  Ash has crawled into a cover, but there's no counting going on!  And now he's taking his frustration out on dad!  He's throwing some wicked punches to the face!  Now Paper Luigi and Mario are in the ring!  The assassins enter as well!  It's a six man melee! 

Jack: Paper Luigi clotheslines an assassin over the top rope!  Mario tosses the other one from the ring!  Now Mario pulls Ash off of Bowser!  He punches Ash, now Ash punches back!  Mario and Ash in a back and forth slugfest!  Paper Luigi grabs a chair and hits the ring!  He swings for Ash!  Ash ducked out of the way! 

Lemmy: Bowser's back on his feet!  He grabs Ash!  Paper Luigi swings his chair for Ash!  Ash ducks and Paper Luigi hit Bowser!  No!  Paper Luigi is in shock!  Now Ash drop kicks the chair into his face!  PL goes down!  Mario to the rescue!  He starts pummeling Ash!  But the assassins ambush him!  Oh no! 

Jack: The facefirst plant!  Mario is down, all three members of the team are on their backs!  The referee finally comes to his senses!  I can't believe it's going to end like this!  Ash rolls into a cover!  The referee slowly into the count!  1...

Lemmy: Not this way!

Jack: 2...
Lemmy: Not like this!

Jack: ...No signal yet...oh my gosh!  Are you kidding me?  Bowser kicked out! 

Lemmy: That's King dad for you!  Always perservering!  And believe me, anybody else would have quit after losing to the Mario Brothers for the last 20 years!  But not him!  And he is showing that strength in this match! 

Jack: Ash is livid!  He's going after the referee!  He knocks the ref down!  What a cheapskate!  Here come the assassins back in the ring!  Paper Luigi grabs both of them!  Here comes a double chokeslam!  Paper Luigi going for Ash!  He kicks him in the gut!  Oh!  What a DDT that was!  Ash is down!  Paper Luigi retreats to his corner!  Mario drags the referee over to Bowser, who is now covering Ash!  Here's the cover! 1...2...3!!!

Lemmy: Yes!  Yes!  Bowser will stay as general manager!  Paper Luigi DDT'd Ash Ketchum, and Bowser got the cover, the 1-2-3, and he will keep his job!  Bowser raises PL's hand in victory!  Mario briefly joins them, but now he's leaving the cage!  he has to get ready for the upcoming rumble match! 

Jack: Four down, two to go!  And these next two might be the most important of the night!  Link vs Luigi in that ladder match for the SSB title!  Then, the rumble itself!  Nearly the entire roster, plus some new faces compete to be the last person standing, with the ultimate prize at stake: the survivor becomes the #1 contender for the SSB championship! 

Lemmy: That was an intense fight right there!  Hey wait a second!  The assassins ambush Paper Luigi again!  Here comes another facefirst plant! 

Jack: What the heck was that all about? 

Lemmy: I don't know, but now dad's laughing and...now he raises Ash's hand in victory!  '

Jack: Aww, it was a setup!  I don't know why, but Bowser has turned on his young protege!  The cage has been lifted from the ring, so they'll walk out!  But now Bowser motions back towards Paper Luigi!  He's not done yet!  Here come the assassins!  They are back in the ring, and they grab Paper Luigi!

Lemmy:Wait a minute!  It looks like one of the fans just came over the barricade!  Hey, that's not a fan!  It's Jman!  I thought he left!

Jack: I did too!  But now he's in the ring pounding away at the assassins!  Ash and Bowser hightailing it!  Jman grabs both assassins and here's a double chokeslam!  He's come to Paper Luigi's aid!  Now he's helping the new guy to his feet!  Jman raising his hand in victory!  Jman and Paper Luigi have united here at the Melee! 

Lemmy: Well, I've got to go!  Cranky and Diddy will be back down here in a short time!  Remember, still to come, Link vs Luigi in a ladder match for the title, and the rumble itself!

Jack: It's been great working with you tonight, Lemmy, and I look forward to calling your exploits in the rumble!  We'll be back with Cranky and Diddy right after this!
       

I always figured "Time to tip the scales" was Wario's everyday motto.

cosmic_c

  • EAGLES SCREAM!
« Reply #251 on: February 24, 2008, 12:55:30 AM »
[cosmic_c]: (bunch of stupid jibberish)
peppy: whats that pichu these post are too long to read, I agree!
« Last Edit: February 24, 2008, 05:31:53 AM by Suffix »

« Reply #252 on: February 25, 2008, 03:12:14 PM »
I hope you're kidding when you say that these posts are "too long to read."

EDIT: I got your message Jman, and I must say that a lot of hard work has been put into this. I'm not really much of a critic, but it's a great story nonetheless.
« Last Edit: February 25, 2008, 03:17:35 PM by PaperLuigi »
Luigison: Question everything!
Me: Why?

Jman

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« Reply #253 on: March 01, 2008, 07:27:14 PM »
Jack: We're back here at the rumble, and I'd like to take this chance to welcome Cranky and Diddy Kong back to the announce table!

Cranky: Thanks Jack!  I cannot believe the beating that Ash just took.

Diddy: Yes, but how about Bowser?  He got hit with a chair, by sheer accident, by Paper Luigi, but was able to kick out and then his team won the match!

Cranky: But what happened afterward?  Bowser just stood by and let the assassins take out their anger from losing on his own teammate!  He then walked away with Ash.  But then, Jman came from the crowd and came to Paper Luigi's aid, double chokeslamming the assassins.  Now it looks like these two have aligned with each other.  Our other correspondent, Ness, is in the back room with Paper Luigi!

Ness: Thanks Cranky!  I'm here with Paper Luigi, the electrifying rookie who just helped knock off Ash Ketchum.  So, we all know what happened afterwards.  Do you have any words for the Koopa who brought you up, only to tear you down?

Paper Luigi: Bowser, you just made a biiiiiig mistake!  You trained me and brought me into SSB, only to align yourself with Ash Ketchum?  I've got some news for you, pal!  You may be all buddy-buddy with the new owner of SSB, but I've got a pretty powerful new ally as well!  You'd better get ready, because me and Jman are going to make some serious noise!

Ness: Jman, we all thought you had left for good! 

Jman: Ness, Ness, Ness.  I think you're great, but you're fooling if you think I left the building for good after what that blasted Ash Ketchum did to me!  Ash,  you're going to find out that conning the business out from under me was the worst mistake you could ever have made!  Me and the kid here, we're going to make this the most painful time of your life!

Ness: A strong proclamation from the original owner of SSB, and his new friend, the electrifying Paper Luigi!  Let's get back out to Cranky, Diddy, and Jack!

Cranky: Let the games begin!  Jman and Paper Luigi , what a team they could make!

Diddy: Let's go back to the locker room.  Jack left the broadcast booth during the commercial to catch up with the #1 contender.  Jack?

Jack: I'm here with the #1 contender, Luigi.  Luigi, in just mere minutes, you will be taking on the SSB champion Link in a ladder match.  What are your thoughts on how you'll try to win the title?

Luigi: Jack, you're missing the point!  This isn't about the title!  Link kidnapped Daisy, he dared to lay his hands on my #1 fan, Luigi Lover, and he prowls around the arena every night like he has the right!  This is about payback!  That ladder we'll be using will be covered in Link's blood by the end of the match!  Win or lose, that Hyrulian prettyboy is going to feel it for days to come!

Jack: Well, good luck in your match tonight!

Luigi: Thanks.

Cranky: Ness caught up with Link earlier today in the locker room.
(taped interview)

Ness: Link, you've been the champion ever since you beat Mario on an episode of SSB Live awhile back.  What are your thoughts about facing Luigi in a ladder match for your championship belt?

Link: Well, I hope he's ready to pack a lunch, because there's no way I'm surrendering my championship to him.  After I've smashed his ugly face in, I'm going to go backstage, find Daisy, and see if I can get her on the arm of a REAL champion!

Ness: Okay, that's a little unnecessary!

Link: You wanna settle this in the ring?  There's nobody here to save you!

Ness: ...

Link: All of the pain, all of the suffering, it will all continue for Luigi in our ladder match!  Oh, and don't challenge me, kid.  You'll only get hurt.
(clip ends)

Cranky: Link as confident as ever that he will retain his title!  He'd better get ready, because we all know how eager Luigi is to get his hands on him!

Diddy: Right now, it's time for the 100 meter race between Fox McCloud and Falco Lombardi.  This will determine which one of them will get a spot in the Melee Rumble.  I've got to say, Ash didn't set this up very well at all!  We still don't know who half of the entrants in the rumble, and spots are still open in the middle of the event?

Cranky: Well, the season was short because of Ash's master plan to run the company into the ground, nothing really ever got set up.  Anyway, I guess we'll just have to see what happens.  Obviously, no one holding a championship will be in the rumble, so that leaves out a few smashers! 

Diddy: Okay, and there aren't any female smashers involved, because we do have a separate Womens' championship.  For guys, we know Popo, Link, and Kirby will be sitting this one out.  Also, you must be an active fighter to be in it, so that leaves us, Jack, Ness, and our GM, and owner out. 

Cranky: Anyway, they have finished setting up the arena for the 100 meter dash!  Fox and Falco are lining up at the starting line, here we go!  There goes the gun!  They are off like two flashes of light!  Neck and neck as they go down the line!  And...I think they crossed the line at the exact same time!

Diddy: It was certainly a photo finish!  Here comes a replay...I don't believe it!  It's a tie!  How will they rule this?  Here comes Bowser, our GM.

Bowser: Since the 100 meter race ended in a tie, I've got no choice but to enter both of you in the rumble match later on tonight! 

Cranky:  They're both in the rumble!  Fox and Falco will both be in the rumble as the last two entries!  But coming up next, Luigi vs Link in a ladder match!  This rivalry has been one of the hottest this year!  This one ought to be good!

Diddy: The championship belt is hanging from the wire, the ladders are under the ring structure, this is the ladder match we've been waiting for!  Link vs Luigi for the SSB title! 

Luigi has said all he wants is to get his hands on Link!  Of course, all Link wants to do is hold onto his belt and extend his reign as champion into our third season, which will start tomorrow night as planned!

Cranky: A ladder match is pretty much no holds barred.  You won't get penalized unless you literally kill your opponent.  Luigi was the one who originally made the challege to Link for his title, and now he will do anything in his power to break Link.  This should be one heck of a match.

Diddy: Here comes the champion Link to huge boos as usual.  It was his antics with Daisy that got him into this!  He kidnapped Daisy and forced Luigi to fight him.  Luigi challenged him to a ladder match while accepting the "Link Challenge," and so here we are!  It's been a great night so far, and the action is heating up!

Cranky:  Link is in the ring, staring up at the championship belt, saying it's going to stay with him!

Diddy: Look how smug he is!  Let's see how smug he is when Luigi rams his face with a ladder a couple times!  Speaking of Luigi, here he comes!  Of all of the poorly managed aspects of our second season, this was an exception!  Link and Luigi have been fierce rivals for most of the year, and it may just come to a head tonight!  Is Link's championship reign over?  We'll be right back!         
       










I always figured "Time to tip the scales" was Wario's everyday motto.

Jman

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« Reply #254 on: March 14, 2008, 06:42:00 PM »
Diddy: We are back at the Melee rumble awaiting the start of Link and Luigi's ladder match for the SSB title!  Both fighters are in the ring, and here's the bell!  Luigi immediately charges Link!  Oh!  He took him down with a spear! 

Cranky: Luigi still visibly upset about Link kidnapping Daisy!  He must have seen Link's interview!

Diddy: He's really giving it to Link's face!  Punch after punch in a raging fury!  Now he gets up and bounces off the ropes!  Leg drop to Link!  Luigi gets up and exits the ring!  Link may already be busted open! 

Cranky: Already, Link's pretty face has been damaged! 

Diddy: Luigi brings a ladder into the ring!  Oh watch out!  Link with a clothesline, knocking the ladder into Luigi!  Link gets back to his feet and grabs the ladder!  Luigi now back to his feet, and Link swings the ladder into his gut! 

Cranky: Link whacks Luigi in the back with the ladder, and the contender is down!  Luigi said all he wanted to do was shut Link up!  But will he really let Link get away with what he said in his interview?

Diddy: If this keeps up, he may have no choice!  Link with a neckdrop on Luigi!  Right into the ladder!  Luigi is down, and the champ is smirking as he sets the ladder up over him!  Luigi stumbles to his feet and Link grabs him!  Link dragging Luigi to the corner, and he throws him out of the ring! 

Cranky: No way!  Link's going to retain his title!  He begins to climb the ladder with Luigi still down outside the ring!  Link looks down and grins at him!  Now he continues climbing towards the top!  Luigi's back to his feet! He dives into the ring!

Diddy: He flies into the ladder and knocks it over!  Link falls with it!  Luigi grabs the ladder!  He bashes Link's chest with it!  Now he moves up and bashes the face!  Blood is spurting everywhere!  Ladies and gentlemen, this is the first time we've ever seen anyone lose this much blood since a gimmick match featuring Yu-Gi-Oh!

Cranky: Didn't we get sued by 4Kids for showing a televised murder?

Diddy: Yes, but thankfully, back then the company had more than enough money to...I mean, Luigi is a victim of another Link clothesline!  Link picks himself up and sets the ladder back up!  Now he picks it up and goes over to Luigi!  Luigi gets back to his feet!  But now he meets another ladder shot from Link!  Link continues to assault him with the ladder!

Cranky: Diddy, I'm beginning to think that a ladder match wasn't the best idea Luigi's ever had!  He suffers blow after blow after blow!  Link finally lets him alone and sets the ladder up!

Diddy: Now Link begins climbing the ladder!  He's trying to get out of here unscathed with his title!  He's already near the top of the ladder!  He's reaching for the belt!  Now he looks down at Luigi!  Link climbs to the top of the ladder!  He doesn't go for the belt!  He wants to crush Luigi!

Cranky: Here he goes!  Oh!!!!

Diddy: Link tried to crush Luigi from the top of the ladder, but Luigi rolled out of the way, leaving nothing but a big mistake for Link to land on!  Now Luigi rolls to his feet!  He's looking toward the ladder!  Now he exits the ring!  What is he doing?

Cranky: That's what, Diddy!  He's getting a table!  Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Diddy: Yes I am, and I'm pretty sure Luigi's got the same idea!  He brings the table into the ring, but Link jumps to his feet!  Luigi whacks Link with the table!  Link is down, and Luigi will set up the table just a few feet under the ladder!

Cranky: This could be a bad decision!  With Link down, Luigi could easily climb the ladder and win the belt right now! 

Diddy: Here he goes!  He's climbing the ladder!  He looks up at the title, and down at Link!  Luigi gives an evil smile!  Ugh, that just sends chills down my spine!  He's reaching for the belt!  We're going to have a new champion!  No we're not!  Luigi looks down on Link!  Here we go!  An elbow drop!

Cranky: Look out below! 

Diddy: Luigi crushes Link through the table!  Link is out!  Luigi's going to become the new SSB champion, if he can climb the ladder again!  He's down, though.  The earlier beatdown administered to him is taking its toll!  Both men are down, and now Luigi is struggling to his feet! 

Cranky: He's going to try again!  Wait, now he crawls out of the ring once again!  He's bringing another ladder into the ring! 

Diddy: Luigi setting another ladder on top of Link!  What does it take for one of these men to stay down long enough?  Obviously less than this, because Link was down for the count! 

Cranky: That obviously wasn't enough for Luigi!  He wants to throttle Link! 

Diddy: Now he'll climb the ladder again!  Luigi is going to try and crush Link through a ladder!  From the top of another ladder!  I think Luigi's gone bloodthirsty! 

Cranky: Hey wait a second!  Here come Link's cronies out from under the ring!  Roy, Dedede and Wario, and now DK from the back!  Link's cronies are here!  They knock down Luigi's ladder, and him along with it!  Now they begin beating on him!  It's no holds barred!  This is all legal!

Diddy: Luigi getting the stuffing kicked out of him!  it's a four on one assault!  now Link has gotten to his feet!  He's got a ladder!  He's got the ladder!  They hold Luigi up, and Link whacks him in the face with a ladder!  Luigi is still being held up by Link's cronies, and another ladder to the face! 

Cranky: And they let Luigi fall!  Now DK grabs him for a chokeslam!  Link telling him to drop Luigi!  And now look!

Diddy: Ash Ketchum is out here giving his approval!  Roy Koopa has brought another table into the ring!  He sets it up, and now DK picks up Luigi for a chokeslam!  Here we go, this is it!  Link will retain...hey wait!

Cranky: It's Daisy!  Daisy running down to the ring!  Sweetheart, I don't think being out here is such a great idea!

Diddy: She's got a chair!  She nails Dedede!  She nails Link!  She nails Wario and Roy!  But DK steals the chair!  He throws it away and now grabs her!  He's got both Daisy and Luigi in his grasp!  But now someone else is running down to the ring!  It's Ness!  Ness dives into the ring!  He's standing up to DK!  DK kicks him down! 

Cranky: Someone else is running down!  It's Jman!  Jman dives into the ring, and now DK drops Luigi and Daisy and grabs him by the throat!

Diddy: Jman kicks DK in the gut!  Look at this!  A neckbreaker by Jman!  Into the table!  DK is down and out!  Jman rolls out of the ring and heads up the ramp!  Now Link is back in the ring!  He grabs Daisy and prepares for the Hyrulian slam!  But now Ness is back and he kicks Link in the knee! 

Cranky: Now Link attacks Ness!  Luigi turns him around!  He hoists Link for a Luigi bomb! 

Diddy: The Luigi bomb connects!  Now if Luigi can only get to the top of the ladder!  We would have a new champion!  Mario held the title from the first episode on, before Link beat him this past season, and Link has held the title until now!

Cranky: The ring has been entirely cleared of any other fighters!  It's just Luigi and the ladder now!  And he'll begin climbing! 

Diddy: Luigi perhaps moments away from the top of the mountain!  He's almost to the top!

Cranky: He's reaching for it!

Diddy: He got it!  He got it!  We have a new SSB champion!  Luigi Mario has done everything he said he'd do, and then some!  All of the championships that were on the line changed hands tonight! 

Cranky: Hey!  All of Link's cronies have re-entered the ring!  They knock over Luigi's ladder, and now they begin to beat him!  Luigi won the championship, but at what cost?  They are really going to town on him! 

Diddy: Waitaminute!  Jman's back, and Paper Luigi and Mario are with him!  Now they go to town on Link's cronies!  Jman hoisting Wario, and here's a tombstone!  Now a neckbreaker on an attacking Link!  Mario hitting a spinebuster on Wario, and now Paper Luigi fights DK! 

Cranky: He just slammed the monster DK!  I guess that's his defining move, we'll call it the Papercut for now!

Diddy: The ring has been cleared, and the celebration can finally start!  Luigi Mario is the new SSB champion, climbing the ladder to claim the championship belt!  Here comes Daisy back to the ring to raise the hand of her man, the champ! 

Cranky: It's too bad his #1 fan couldn't be here tonight to see him become champion! 

Diddy:  Luigi Mario is champion!  He has ended the long reign of Link, and now looks to begin a long healthy reign of his own!  Still to come, the rumble match itself! 
I always figured "Time to tip the scales" was Wario's everyday motto.

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