Does the moon exist?

[CrossEyed7]

    However, eminent scientists, working in defiance of the establishment, have proven conclusively, using the most scrupulous methods, that if an object such as the moon really existed, it could not remain fixed in the sky for very long. Proactive arguments in support of this finding return to a closer examination of the original mathematical formula generally referenced when rallying to solidify the moon’s improbable existence:

        F = GMm/r2

    Where F = gravitational attraction
    G = the gravitational constant
    M = mass of one body
    m = mass of the second body
    r = distance between the two bodies

    Established by Newton himself, this numerical gem is based completely on the assumption that the moon travels in concentric circles around our planet. F (the gravitational attraction holding the moon to its "true" path) requires that r (the distance between the two celestial bodies) remains constant. Should the distance, r, decrease at any given moment, the gravitational force will increase in strength. When this event occurs the moon will be pulled towards this planet. According to Newton’s theory that a body set in motion remains in motion, such an incident would initiate a logical series of events with a singular chaotic result: propagated drawing of satellite to planet until the two massive bodies collide.

    However, even the most fanatical Lunarists no longer cling to the absurd notion that objects in the solar system travel in concentric circles. These so-called "scientists" have changed their story so many times, who knows what to believe anymore? The currently fashionable dogma is that the route followed by celestial bodies is not circular but a concave oval with the origin point at the centre (in the case of the earth, the sun; in the case of the moon, the earth) followed by a spiraling series of pathways. Thus, the moon is not maintaining a constant distance from our planet. Our orbiting satellite is forever oscillating towards us, drawing near then distant, in a continuous cycle. Each successive approach brings this massive wonder closer to our midst.

    In other words, the moon does indeed alter its distance from the earth. So why is it not widespread knowledge that the end – mathematically predicated BY NEWTON’S OWN FORMULA - has been anticipated and is drawing near? Due to some irrational explanation the moon has managed to defy those very laws of physics that were originally developed to justify its existence.

The authorities expect us to believe a story that is prima facie absurd, and has been proven absurd by simple mathematical calculations. Yet they do not give us a single piece of reliable forensic evidence, nor an argument put forward by any expert free from institutional pressure.

So, does the moon exist? There's a $100,000 reward if you can prove it does.

[ShadowBrain]

I've heard a relatively credible theory that the moon is an artificial satellite planted near the Earth by aliens, but this seems to be a bit much. It raises a very important point, though.

[nensondubois]

You mean to tell me that the moon is not actually a floating piece of green cheese?

[Chupperson Weird]

This reminds me of the flat earth people.

How do you come up with stuff like "the moon doesn't exist"? I cannot fathom.

[PaperLuigi]

Philosophically, you can't prove the existence of anything! CHECKMATE!

[Chupperson Weird]

I just realized a major flaw in that guy's whole argument. The principle of science is to refine your observations about stuff, and he's talking about Newton's original formula this and that (is it still correct? I'm not sufficiently versed in physics to know) instead of whatever might be actually right based on later observation.
Also while the planets have elliptical orbits, the moon has a roughly circular orbit around Earth, right? This guy acts like everything in the solar system acts the same. It seems like according to him we should crash into the sun too, but he has no problem accepting the existence of the sun. What's going on?

Oh yeah and
conclusive physical evidence
by e-mail

[SolidShroom]

I'm sending a picture of my ass.

[Lizard Dude]

relatively credible theory

that the moon is an artificial satellite planted near the Earth by aliens

/facepalm

[ShadowBrain]

relatively

...Compared to the fact that it doesn't exist at all.

/face-save.

[Chupperson Weird]

You mean, "compared to the theory"?

[Black Mage]

Lizard Dude, come save us from math.

[PaperLuigi]

Chup, a scientific theory is virtually indistinguishable from a fact. It's the closest thing we have to explaining...well, anything that's observable.

Irrational belief is more like it.

[Chupperson Weird]

You believe it's a fact that the moon doesn't exist?
You can have totally unsubstantiated and irrational theories. One saying "the moon doesn't exist" (as implied in Brian's post) is one of those. (Not a "fact".)
Make sure you know what someone's referring to before getting pedantic.

[PaperLuigi]

-_-

Post was sarcasm...

[Turtlekid1]

I say we go with what IMAO has been suggesting for years - nuke the moon.  If it exists, it can be nuked, and vice-versa.