If you can't remember last chapter, considering that was eons ago, Ted got caught with El Lavador's bag of cocaine. He had no intention of using it; he was playing a practical joke! Now here are the results, and see if you can pick up on some TMK references I make.
Chapter 5 – Drugs
The Poison Mushroom Rehabilitation Center sat in on the edge of the medical district of Fungitown. The PMRC specialized in drug recovery and AA meetings (with free refreshments). Dr. Anne Undershell, a nervous and well-to-do koopa lady, was in charge of all incoming drug abuse patients and tried to treat them all with respect and care. On a frigidly cold late October morning she sat in a bright conference room, waiting for a young man named Ted. Ted came in.
“Hello, Theodore,” Dr. Undershell exclaimed at the sight of the disgruntled looking boy, “take a seat.”
Ted silently took a seat at a shaky plastic chair across a shaky plastic table from Dr. Undershell.
“Now Ted, you were found with a bag of cocaine at very own Fungi High School last week. I’m afraid that the use of a nasty stimulant will land you right in an ambulance.”
“Ambulance! Why?!”
“Because it’s a very powerful stimulant with the power to kill,” Dr. Undershell snapped.
“Eh, I’m sorry. I know it’s dangerous; I’m just a little bit fussy about being here,” Ted sighed.
“You shouldn’t be. We’re trying to help you.”
“Well lady, the police squad has heard my spiel. Apparently I’m delusional for believing that the cocaine isn’t mine.”
“That would be very delusional indeed. Maybe that’s the large doses of cocaine affecting your logic. Why don’t we just pretend we didn’t hear that and move on?” Dr. Undershell said as she sorted some papers, “Now, let’s begin with our first habit-breaking exercise.”
Ted watched as the old koopa bent down beneath the table, fumbling for something. She peeked at Ted mysteriously and then fluidly set down
a large bag of white powder on the desk.
“Ted, just look at the cocaine,” Dr. Undershell whispered, “don’t jump across the table to snort it all up your dirty nose; just look at it. You want it don’t you, you sick freak. Now, you can’t have it anymore, and if it takes the entire staff of the Poison Mushroom Rehabilitation Center to stop you, then so be it.”
Ted sat smugly and solidly and said, “I couldn’t want that cocaine less.”
“Oh,” Dr. Undershell whimpered nervously, “it’s only powdered sugar anyway.”
After a long pause, Ted crossed his arms and grinned at Dr. Undershell. She stood up and waved him to the door. They walked through the shiny halls of the PMRC and Ted looked into the rooms. He saw screams and shouts and nervous jittering – he was doing better than those guys. Ted’s thoughts wondered to Patricia and Jay and his other friends. What would El Lavador think about Ted now? Would Principal Deezer and the rest of the administration take him seriously again? He was sure that some of the girls at Fungi High might take him seriously now. They liked a bad boy, maybe he'd be a super heartthrob now.
Interrupting his pondering, Dr. Undershell stopped in front of a room, “You’ll be staying a few nights in here. This is ward 117. Step inside.”
Lying on the ground was Ted’s new roommate. He had wide shiny eyes under a mat of long greasy hair and rocked back and forth in a fetal position. He even spotted a little spittle on the ground next this man’s mouth. It was a disgusting sight to say the very least.
“This is Frank, but we call him ‘The Turtle Kid’,” Dr. Undershell explained, “his brain is so mushy from LSD, he thinks he’s a turtle!”
