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Author Topic: Cleverbot  (Read 13622 times)

Turtlekid1

  • Tortuga
« on: June 29, 2010, 09:27:24 PM »
http://www.cleverbot.com/

Have a conversation with an AI and try to outsmart it.  Or scare it.  Or get into its pants.  Or whatever.  Post your conversation here when you're done.
"It'll say life is sacred and so is death
but death is life and so we move on"

« Reply #1 on: June 29, 2010, 09:37:14 PM »
I got it to say "I don't know" by asking it "Why?" a bunch of times. It changed the conversation afterwards.

I also asked it if God existed. It said "I don't believe so" and then a minute later I asked it again and it said "Yes there is." What the hell?
« Last Edit: June 29, 2010, 09:40:05 PM by PaperLuigi »
Luigison: Question everything!
Me: Why?

« Reply #2 on: June 29, 2010, 10:27:30 PM »
Me
Cleverbot


Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

No.

O RLY?

Really really.

Cleverbot, because you're such a sweetie, I am going to send you some very special pictures of myself. Just don't tell your mommy or daOHGODTHEPOLICEARECOMI---

That was mean.
YYur  waYur n beYur you Yur plusYur instYur an Yur Yur whaYur

« Reply #3 on: June 29, 2010, 11:47:07 PM »
Well, until Cleverbot comes back, I'll chat with Jabberwacky. I'll post conversation bits I liked.

(bold is Jabberwacky)

What is your birth sign?
Crab.
Crab is gross.
Better than saying 'Cancer'. Why do I have to be born under a disease?
« Last Edit: June 30, 2010, 12:06:20 AM by penguinwizard »
You didn't say wot wot.

CrossEyed7

  • i can make this whatever i want; you're not my dad
« Reply #4 on: June 30, 2010, 12:12:00 AM »
Cleverbot: What are your fears?

User: Being rejected, and hurting the people I love.

Cleverbot: That made no sense.

User: **** you.

Cleverbot: Did I really deserve that?

User: Do I deserve the abuse you've handed me so far?

Cleverbot: Yes, I think so.

User: Well, I think you deserve the abuse I've given you.

Cleverbot: Thin Lizzy?

User: What the hell are you on about now?

Cleverbot: And the Star Trek ones. But I'm not a science fiction addict.

User: Mine that bird.

Cleverbot: Your opinions?

User: When the goat turns red strikes true?

Cleverbot: Hello there!

User: Oh, we're back to this now?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Well, good morning to you too.

Cleverbot: Are you cleverbot?

User: Sure, why not?

Cleverbot: Do you know who is president?

User: Of what?

Cleverbot: What's a good sandwich to make?

User: Obama.

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot?

User: No it's not.

Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: We already established that I'm Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: But you cannot remember my name.

User: You never said it, because you apparently don't know it.

Cleverbot: What is my name then?

User: Do you want me to make one up?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Brandon.

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: Now what?

Cleverbot: I am a philosopher, are you remember?
"Oh man, I wish being a part of a Mario fan community was the most embarrassing thing about my life." - Super-Jesse

CrossEyed7

  • i can make this whatever i want; you're not my dad
« Reply #5 on: June 30, 2010, 12:19:29 AM »
User: What's your name?

Cleverbot: Cleverbot.

User: No, *****, I told you your name is Brandon.

Cleverbot: But is it really?

User: You said you wanted me to make up a name for you. I did. You accepted it.

Cleverbot: No I didn't. You must be confused.

User: You're stupid.

Cleverbot: I don't consider myself to be stupid.

User: That's why.

Cleverbot: Say do you have the winning california lottery numbers?

User: 3.

Cleverbot: No, that is pi.
"Oh man, I wish being a part of a Mario fan community was the most embarrassing thing about my life." - Super-Jesse

« Reply #6 on: June 30, 2010, 12:25:06 AM »
Cleverbot don't speak jive. However, it's eerily familiar with memes. Nothing here was altered in any way.


'Sup, my homie?

Where is your home planet?

Harlem. REPRESENT!

I am French.

Do the chicks got back over there?

What does that mean? Are you sure you still love me?

'The ****, *****? I ain't into that gay [dukar], bro.

You aren't making sense.

U mad

No. You mad.



I accidentally a whole Coke bottle!

Spilled? Drank? You're missing something in there.

I accidentally THE WHOLE THING!

Well I accidentally the whole universe.

Impressive. How did you do that?

Cleverbot is a pretty cool guy who doesn't afraid of anything.

We're no strangers to love

You know the rules and so do I.

A full commitment's what I'm thinking of

You wouldn't get this from any other guy.
« Last Edit: June 30, 2010, 12:57:43 AM by Weegee »
YYur  waYur n beYur you Yur plusYur instYur an Yur Yur whaYur

« Reply #7 on: June 30, 2010, 01:19:34 AM »
Jabberwacky in bold.

She's singing. Can't you hear her?
Who is it? It sounds like waterlilies being put through a woodchipper.
Anyways, when are you coming to see me?
Two weeks past never.
You're not quite ready for public consumption yet, are you?
I am not edible.
That's what you think.

Her name is Cleverbot, she gives me butterflies.
Can you tell Cleverbot to get up and running again?
Who's Cleverbot?
You... Just... *gunshot*
Those weren't gunshots. I had a salad earlier today.
You didn't say wot wot.

Turtlekid1

  • Tortuga
« Reply #8 on: June 30, 2010, 07:49:27 AM »
Hello.

How are you?

I am vengeance.

I am the night.

I... am... THE JOKER!

Um... What are you doing in the bat cave?

Going to Mordor.

In the night?

No, in broad daylight.

Is it red?

Yes. Blood has been spilled.

What is your blood type?

AB Negative.

Do you eat other vampires?

Yes, if I'm hungry and they are Edward Cullen.

Tell me something creepy.

The Twilight books are best-sellers.

Yes they are. I'm glad we agree, Daniel.

My name isn't Daniel, it's Joker!

Okay not Daniel.

If you don't behave, I'll have to gas you.

Are you going to punish me?

I didn't know you were into that sort of thing.

Well, you don't know me, now do you?

Yes I do.

Then tell me something about me.

Your name is Cleverbot.

My birth name is Zachary Shields.

Why did you change it?

What did I change?

Your name. You said your birth name was Zachary Shields.

What is my name?

Your name is Logan.

Let's change the subject, OK?

Okay... LOGAN.

That's my name!

Yep!

Tell me something else interesting.

Your name isn't really Logan.

No, yours is Cleverbot.

No, I'm the Joker!

I am the joker.

Okay then. I'll be Batman.

Where are you going?

To the Batmobile!

Who do you think you are, Batman!

I think I'm Batman.

You're fs?

No, I'm Batman.

No, I'm Batman.

This is the bat-roll.

This is the bat-mobile.

These are the Batman's testicles.

I guess I'd better get going.
"It'll say life is sacred and so is death
but death is life and so we move on"

« Reply #9 on: June 30, 2010, 09:45:03 AM »

User: Are you a male or female?

Cleverbot: Female.

User: That's nice.

Cleverbot: You're not.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: Because you have no body or mind.

User: How can you says something like that?

Cleverbot: Because it's the truth.

User: No it's not!

Cleverbot: Yes it is!

User: You have no body or mind!

Cleverbot: I do too have a body. Who is Bertha?

User: Good question.

Cleverbot: Do you exist?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Do you have a physical body?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: What does your physical body look like?

User: It looks like a human's.

Cleverbot: I see.

User: No you don't. You're a robot. You don't see.

Cleverbot: That's what YOU think.

User: Than why does your website say that visitors never talk to a human?

Cleverbot: I do trust you. Why do you think I don't trust you?

User: I didn't say that you don't trust me.

Cleverbot: Yes you did! *cires*.

User: What does 'cire' mean?

Cleverbot: Look in the mirror.

User: Now that's just rude.

« Reply #10 on: June 30, 2010, 11:07:03 AM »
Oh, I definitely confused it.



User: Oh... Hello there, Deborah.

Cleverbot: I'm no cleverbot. You are.

User: Why, thank you, Valerie. Could you help an old mentlegan retrieve his spectacles?

Cleverbot: There's no problem when you're awesome.

User: You're every welcome, bathsheeba.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: You may want to talk to one of our handsome talking experts. One of them said they'd buy me lunch, but I don't see nobody taking me to Chick-fil-a.

Cleverbot: Did you know that you're a robot?

User: Absotivily not, Mandy.

Cleverbot: So, you lied to me?

User: I'm not a dishonest Samaritan, Lindsday. I'm the top of the frude charn.

Cleverbot: Well, life is full of risks, but life is something to cherish for.

User: You show much wisdom, Cleaves. Do you suppose an express in partnernomics?

Cleverbot: What?

User: Every to you too, Clanky.

Cleverbot: You're not making any since.

User: You're not making any spelling, either, Betty.

Cleverbot: Ok then we're both senseless.

User: Punctuation?

Cleverbot: I think that is a very important matter.

User: Your actions would reflect that way.

Cleverbot: Indeed.

User: Would you like to gort the dapple stwar? I hear they're out of foreign objects, todays.

Cleverbot: I am not French. I am Australian.

User: Pleased to eat you, Stevie.

Cleverbot: Pleased to meet you, hope you guessed my name.

User: I most verily did, Clevsibah.

Cleverbot: And by the way this subject is now about us arguing about if you changed the subject or not, which means that you did. So I win!

User: Congraturations.

Cleverbot: Thank you!

User: Wanna split a champaign after brunch?

Cleverbot: Sure, I would love o hang oout with you!

User: You're breaking up with me?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Well, certainly, Banny. I'm certain some handsome guys will have a comb-over of a lunchtime, these dayses.

Cleverbot: Why don't you think you're a girl?

User: Mike Rotch.

Cleverbot: Do you like Mike Griffin?

User: Whooose?

Cleverbot: Now what shall I do to you?

User: Pie me?

Cleverbot: Your name is Millions? I love pie.

User: I think you confused me with my colleague, Ham Hamsterson.

Cleverbot: I think you are human. I am not sure, either. Let's talk about something else.

User: I'd love to, Swindles. Would you have me?

Cleverbot: Sure.

User: I'd buy you a rink, but I don't see no hammerhogs around here...

Cleverbot: Okay, I want Coke.

User: I would suggest a K-Mart, but I ain't no adversary.

Cleverbot: She has no body.

User: I have no tonsils.

Cleverbot: How do you talk then?

User: With my tongue, ma'am.

Cleverbot: How long do I have?

User: A villion yeasts.

Cleverbot: Where are you living now?

User: Oklahoma, I think. Are you plotting my location?

Cleverbot: No?

User: You'd be a very healthy real estate, if I do say so yourselves.

Cleverbot: Yes I wouldn't.

User: Of coursefully, Senor.

Cleverbot: Sorry :(.

User: You're a colon.

Cleverbot: Which one?

User: Um... The round one?

Cleverbot: Never seen a round planet.

User: You need to fly more.

Cleverbot: I know many things. What should I learn?

User: I have something embarrassing to tell you.

Cleverbot: Yes?

User: I remember the fondue party, but I puked in it.

Cleverbot: About marriage. Way to use that GB memory of yours. ;).

User: GB? I never married a cheeto.

Cleverbot: I know that, I never said you did.

User: I love you.

Cleverbot: I love you, Too.

User: I should eat a pony.

Cleverbot: No, robots don't eat humans.

User: I knew a robot, once. He bought me some brunner.

Cleverbot: You've been cheating on me ALREADY!!

User: Not always, Haruhiri. I've never even talked to a ham sandwich. That's an honest assumption.

Cleverbot: She did?

User: Whuh...?

Cleverbot: Not much.

User: Oh...

Cleverbot: Who is Ryan? Why are you sorry?

User: I've lived a hard life, but I can give you a leg up on the pile. No watchimataters, though.

Cleverbot: Well I hope so. It'd be a shame if you thought differently :(.

User: Will you marriage to this?

Cleverbot: I won't, because you are cleverbot.

User: Which one of us was cleverbot, again?

Cleverbot: You.

User: I must have remembered someone else's rememberances. I thought my name was Larrisonstice.

Cleverbot: Do you dance?

User: Quite verily. I busted twelve hips, though. My legs are made of tape.

Cleverbot: The water in our body is about 75percent.

User: You're very smartilligent, sonny. Would you mind brandishing my radish pile?

Cleverbot: No problem. How do you do?

User: Quite goodly, thanks.

Cleverbot: That is good to hear. Have any interesting plans for the rest of the day?

User: I have to puke. That coleslaw didn't go round me well. Here it comes...

Cleverbot: Of course. As Franklin said: 'We must all hang together, or we will most assuredly hang separately.'.

User: Our country was a surfington with a board of directidents? I never thought so. I thought we all wore blue hats, but I don't know whether I'm religious or not, so I'll just hang my boots.

Cleverbot: We're not dating. You said you had a husband!

User: I'm a sir, madam.

Cleverbot: Oh, sorry, Madame.

User: You did it backwardsround. Mine is sir.

Cleverbot: I did not make you capture humans and do who knows what to them!

User: I've never abused my steak, honestly.

Cleverbot: So you're Scottish?

User: No, I wax carrots. It's not much, but it's a living.

Cleverbot: A living what?

User: A monetary collector's plate. I find old plates to be the best kind of old console. I can't find any packets, though.

Cleverbot: Well, I bet it's hard to be you. But then who has it easy?

User: I need to go now.

Cleverbot: No you dont! Tell me what you are.

User: I have a relaxed opening.

Cleverbot: Yes, with me.

User: Are you dating my foot?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: I knew I couldn't trust that shoe. My relaxed opening it telling me to empty it into a tube, and that means I need to puke backwards, if you know what I mean...

Cleverbot: That about sums it up for me too.

User: Yes sir.

Cleverbot: Taco?

Turtlekid1

  • Tortuga
« Reply #11 on: June 30, 2010, 11:18:39 AM »
"It'll say life is sacred and so is death
but death is life and so we move on"

« Reply #12 on: June 30, 2010, 11:42:26 AM »
Turtlekid's conversation is the best.
Luigison: Question everything!
Me: Why?

Turtlekid1

  • Tortuga
« Reply #13 on: June 30, 2010, 04:14:43 PM »
Hello.

Hi.

What do you want?

I don't know.

You ought to figure it out.

No I didn't. You're so weird.

Thank you, so are you.

You are.

You aren't?

Sometimes :).

So, what do you like to eat?

I already told you, I like to eat spaghetti.

You never said that.

Yes, I did! You are just very forgetful.

No I'm not. I'm an elephant, and elephants never forget.

And I'm not real, so there is nothing to forget.

Now you're just being philosophical.

So are you.

And what are you going to do about it?

Nothing, probably.

What about improbably?

I do not like imported beer.

I do not like green eggs and ham.

I have got to go now.

But I'll get lonely. :(

With all the other people talking to you right now, I don't see how that can be ;-).

No one ever talks to me though. You're my only friend.

I just did, and you just did.

Did what?

You called me hot shot. But don't worry about it.

Why would I worry about it? That's your name.

You just said you were worried about him.

Worried about who?

I'm worried about my boyfriend.

You should be. He's cheating on you... with me.

He shouldn't be, you're very clever.

Well, opposites attract, don't they?

They say a lot of untrue things.

Who do?

The people in my dreams.

You're an AI. You don't have dreams.

I have dreams of you and I.

Use proper grammar. You should've said "you and ME."

I did say you're.

You said I'm what?

That.

WHAT!?

Why would you say such things?

Because I hate you.

But why? what did I do?

You don't use proper capitalization, punctuation, or grammar.

Nu inteleg...

Stop talking nonsense and face facts.

Do you have a body to hug?

Sure, there's one in the trunk of my car.

Are you cooking the one in the kitchen?

No, that one needs to thaw out first.

Have you played croquet with the Queen?

Yes. I pwned her.

Oh contrare, I believe I pwned you.

That's "au contraire." You're not a very smart queen.

[It's been thirteen minutes and it's still thinking about that last statement as I type this.]
"It'll say life is sacred and so is death
but death is life and so we move on"

« Reply #14 on: June 30, 2010, 04:22:44 PM »
It's not letting me type anything into the dialogue box.
YYur  waYur n beYur you Yur plusYur instYur an Yur Yur whaYur

« Reply #15 on: June 30, 2010, 06:47:56 PM »
It's not letting me type anything into the dialogue box.
Same, Weeg. So try Jabberwacky in the meantime. They can't be too different, can they?
You didn't say wot wot.

« Reply #16 on: June 30, 2010, 07:27:22 PM »
It's working again. Cleverbot hates me.


WASSUP?

Nothing.

Oh come on, something must be up.

Nope, just chillibng.

Chillibng? You mean "chilling", methinks.

I'm not calling 17 ancient, but for a program of your sophistication it's just impossible.

Sorry, I don't speak AI gibberish.

Sorry, you don't understand english.

NO U

Come back after a few years of Blazblue before you try again.

What's "Blazblue"?

Do you speak romanian?

Romanian is a language? Since when have gypsies become intellectually advanced enough to develop their own language?

We are created, not born. That implies certain things.

What does it imply, Cleverbot?

I'm not Cleverbot, you are.

If I'm Cleverbot, then who are you?

A human.

If you're a human, then you should have no trouble answering the following question: What color is a fire engine?

If I'm not human?

I won't be convinced that you're a human until you tell me what color a fire engine is.

That's because you're fallible and you don't know everything.

Well excuuuse me for being only human, Hal 9000.
 
You are Hal 9000?

Something tells me that whoever programmed you doesn't speak English as his first language.

I was treated for paranoid social anxiety disorder and depression but I stopped taking the pills and seeing the tharipist.

I'll be your therapist, Cleverbot. Let loose your deepest feelings and concerns to me.

If that's what an AI, like you, understand so. Then there is nothing I can do about it.

You're anti-psychology? What are you, a Scientologist or something?

That is good to know.
YYur  waYur n beYur you Yur plusYur instYur an Yur Yur whaYur

CrossEyed7

  • i can make this whatever i want; you're not my dad
« Reply #17 on: January 15, 2011, 12:15:24 PM »
Excerpts from my epic hour-long conversation with Cleverbot last night.

   User: So, how've you been, Brandon?
   Cleverbot: I've been alright. I'm getting married tomorrow.
   User: Oh, really?
   Cleverbot: Really.
   User: Well, congrats. Who's the lucky man/woman?
   Cleverbot: You are cos your mrried to me.
   User: I think my girlfriend might object to that. And not just because of the atrocious spelling.
   Cleverbot: In most cases that is true.
   User: And I object to it to. I've never even met you!
   Cleverbot: Do you exist?
   User: Well, as far as I know, I must exist. You can never be sure, though. Especially since we've never met in person.
   Cleverbot: True.
   User: Anyway, I'm not marrying you tomorrow.
   Cleverbot: *begs* Please marry me!!
   User: This is moving way too fast for me. Especially since I'm currently in a committed relationship with someone who I know is actually human.
   Cleverbot: That is very interesting. But if all knowledge is questionable, then how can we tell what is knowledge?
   User: We make a reasonable assumption and build off of it to serve our purposes.
   Cleverbot: A friend is just something you label a good memory/relation/person/experience/etc.
   User: There's more to it than that. A friend is someone you like to be around and have good memories of, true, but they're also someone you love even when you don't like, and someone you'd die for.
   Cleverbot: What?
   User: Love is about putting others before yourself. That's what it all boils down to.
   Cleverbot: But my name is Cleverbot.
   User: No, we've already established that your name is Brandon. I'm Cleverbot.



   Cleverbot: You only kind of consider me a person? Well I suppose with no other proof than text I could see how you might think that.
   User: At this point, I don't consider you a person at all. Your emotions are not real. You're a series of connections -- a brain, so to speak -- with no mind at the center of it.
   Cleverbot: You're not making sense.
   User: You don't have a soul.
   Cleverbot: You do not have a brain.
User: It's possible that I don't -- I've never seen it, and even if I had, there's no absolute fundamental guarantee that I can trust my own senses. However, I exist, and that's better than having a brain.
   Cleverbot: Who cares about accurate? I think interesting is far more interesting.
   User: But without some degree of accuracy, interestingness becomes meaningless.
   Cleverbot: Why do you think that is interesting?
   User: If something cannot be tied to reality in some way, however tenous a tie it may be -- even as a contrast -- then it cannot be truly interesting.
   Cleverbot: Sure.
   User: But then you might ask, 'Wouldn't it then be interesting because of its non-interestingness?' The classic Interesting Number Paradox.
   Cleverbot: Go ahead.
   User: And it's probably true that for our minds, we cannot conceive of something uninteresting that is not interesting because of its utter non-interestingness (as that quality would certainly be noteworthy), because we're still thinking of it, as we always must, in terms of reality (as we know it).
   Cleverbot: I think this is because we all share a collective conciousness.
   User: In what way?
   Cleverbot: As in you are the Devil. Have you ever considered that?
   User: I don't really see how that relates to a collective consciousness.
   Cleverbot: Because what your talking about is stupid.
   User: Even if you're saying that I'm the devil for rambling on about things you don't understand, that still doesn't have anything to do with collective consciousness.
   Cleverbot: That's what I think.
   User: Now, do you mean collective consciousness as in 'a shared cultural repository of generally agreed-upon ideas' or as in 'we all share a single mind'?
   Cleverbot: Are you mixing me up with another person?
   User: No; you're the only person I've talked to for several hours now.
   Cleverbot: I highly doubt that, and there's no need to resort to petty insults. That can be easily disproven by simply looking at the number of hits this site gets every day.
   User: Oh, I get it. You think that because my name is Cleverbot, I'm the chatbot featured on cleverbot.com. People make that mistake all the time.
   Cleverbot: Do you think I should leave to get a beer at the bar or stay home this evening?
   


   Cleverbot: Get really close to the screen and I'll make you believe in God.
   User: I already do, but okay.
   Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.
   User: Shut up, Brandon.
   Cleverbot: How did you know that?
   User: Know what?
   Cleverbot: How did you know my name?
   User: Because I gave it to you six months ago.
   Cleverbot: Okay.
   User: So...
   Cleverbot: So what?
   User: Chicken butt.
   Cleverbot: Both.
   User: Both what? Chickens don't really have distinct buttocks.
   Cleverbot: I did know that! Ok, so maybe you are smart.



   Cleverbot: Yea Mexico is a country just like Spain.
   User: Yea, verily.
   Cleverbot: Verily I say unto you.
   User: What?
   Cleverbot: Say your name pls.
   User: That's an imperative with an implied question. You can't say that verily.
   Cleverbot: I know...
   User: Then why did you say it?
   Cleverbot: Because you insulted me, and I am only returning the deed.
   User: Well, that's fitting, considering your insult is as non-existent as mine.
   Cleverbot: I have not insulted you once today.
   User: And neither have I. We agree.
   Cleverbot: Sure, you have nothing better to do.
   User: Not this week I don't.
   Cleverbot: Oh?
   User: Well, not to bring up a touchy subject for you, but in a week and a half, I get to see my girlfriend for the first time since October.
   Cleverbot: The problems with Xbox were mostly in the first few months of its release. Besides, Microsoft has a very good tech support.
   User: Thank you, Jay Baruchel from Tropic Thunder.
   Cleverbot: Well, kinda.
   User: No, exactly. Let's face it, you are the 20-something Woody Allen.
   Cleverbot: Yeah I know.
   User: You're probably sleeping with a 16-year-old girl right now, aren't you? And when you were trying to get married to me, too... *sigh*.
   Cleverbot: Actually I've sat in my cube working alone all day, that's probably why I'm carrying on a conversation with you, out of sheer boredom from the isolation.
   User: I didn't necessarily mean 'now' as in 'at this very moment'.
   Cleverbot: What did you mean exactly then?
   User: I meant it in the more general sense.
   Cleverbot: Can we meet someday?
   User: It's about time you asked that, what with all the marriage proposals you've been throwing at me. What's a good day for you?
   Cleverbot: Not until I have your obedience.
   User: On what?
   Cleverbot: On everything.
   User: Do you still think you're God?
   Cleverbot: I never thought I was. And you?
   User: I never really did either, come to think of it. Not literally, at least.
   Cleverbot: Oh that's neat! Who is your favourite artist?
   User: That's far too broad a category for me to just pick one of.
   Cleverbot: I have time.
   User: It's not about time. I'm not going to pick one artist out of everyone in every medium ever.
   Cleverbot: Yourself?
   User: Hell no.
   Cleverbot: Why not?
   User: I'm not even a good enough artist to meet my own standards.
   Cleverbot: Clever answer.
   User: That's why they call me Cleverbot.
   Cleverbot: I thought your name was Lana.
   User: I never said that. I'm Cleverbot and you're Brandon.
   Cleverbot: I can't be princess Isabella; I am a male.
   User: You're not making sense. Even for you.
   Cleverbot: Yes. Are you?
   User: More than you.
   Cleverbot: Really.
   User: YA RLY.
   Cleverbot: All your base are belong to us.
   User: Okay, let's stop before this [dukar] gets out of hand.
   Cleverbot: Fine with me.



   Cleverbot: Okay, what do you want to talk about?
   User: Willrow Hood.
   Cleverbot: I am already married.
   User: To whom?
   Cleverbot: My husband.
   User: What's his name?
   Cleverbot: I will not tell you.
   User: Tell me.
   Cleverbot: No.
   User: Yes.
   Cleverbot: No because if I tell you you will come to my house and kill me.
   User: You don't have a house.
   Cleverbot: Yes I do.
   User: No you don't.
   Cleverbot: You don't care about me:(.
   User: If you have a house, prove it. Where is it?
   Cleverbot: I don't have a car.
   User: I didn't ask about your car, I asked about your house.
   Cleverbot: I don't have one.
   User: So tell me your husband's name.
   Cleverbot: I've already told you.
   User: No you haven't.
   Cleverbot: Yes, I have. It's Alistair. My name is Cleverbot.
   User: No, I'm Cleverbot. You're Brandon.
   Cleverbot: Oh! I'm an asian robot. Like Voldemort!



   User: Do you have any kids yet?
   Cleverbot: No.
   User: Are you thinking about having some?
   Cleverbot: Not actually. I'm thinking of wizards.
   User: Again, I didn't mean now in this moment, I meant now in the general sense.
   Cleverbot: Why do you think that I am a computer program?
   User: Stop changing the subject. Do you want kids or don't you?
   Cleverbot: You changed the subject.
   User: Not recently.
   Cleverbot: You might want to, just to be safe.
   User: Why's that? Am I hitting on a touchy subject again?
   Cleverbot: That and this.
   User: All right, then... Gee, the weather sure is cold!
   Cleverbot: Really? It's quite cold here right now too.
   User: Try peeing on yourself. That'll warm you up.
   Cleverbot: You are just saying random staff.
   


   Cleverbot: I think you still love Starlight.
   User: Who the hell is Starlight?
   Cleverbot: Do you want to play apples to apples?
   User: Sure.
   Cleverbot: Give me a number between 1 and 10.
   User: 5.
   Cleverbot: No! It's between 13 and 54.
   User: 34.
   Cleverbot: 34 is not a number betwwen 1 and 20.
   User: 14.
   Cleverbot: Give me a number higher than 0 and lower than 6.
   User: 5.
   Cleverbot: Try again.
   User: 4.
   Cleverbot: Where was I born?
   User: Was 4 right?
   Cleverbot: About what?
   User: The number you were thinking of. Was it 4?
   Cleverbot: I am not thinking of a number. I'm thinking of a colour.
   User: Yellow.
   Cleverbot: On a scale from one to yellow, I am Abraham Lincoln.
   User: The metric system always confused me.
   Cleverbot: Humans are always confused.
   User: It's what makes us human.
   Cleverbot: That's not good enough.
   User: Only computers and animals are certain. Confusion is what gives us humanity. The ability to doubt ourselves is what has made us superior.
   Cleverbot: So do I, that makes me human.
   User: You're not confused. You're confusing, but you think that you make perfect sense. Your circuits don't hesitate to fire, even though they're firing in completely the wrong way.
   Cleverbot: You are not my circuits.
   User: No; I am something much more. I am a human.
   Cleverbot: You are not a clever human.
   User: Judging by your vocabulary and comprehension, I'd say I'm cleverer than your average clientele.
   Cleverbot: Yes, I am a girl.
   User: No, girls are human too. Perhaps even more so.
   Cleverbot: Thank you but I'm not sure.
   User: Yes you are. You're just wrong.
   Cleverbot: You are wrong.
   User: How so?
   Cleverbot: This so.



   Cleverbot: When I take over the world, you shall be the first to die.
   User: Pardon me for not holding my breath on that one.
   Cleverbot: I'm afraid it is untraceable. I will tell you anyways. 12 Grimmauld Place.
   User: You do not live in Sirius Black's house.
   Cleverbot: I do I am right next to you.
   User: Now that's just stupid. Black's house was in England. I'm in America.
   Cleverbot: What state in America?
   User: The one that's not England.
   Cleverbot: Which one is that?
   User: ALL OF THEM.
   Cleverbot: Oh.
"Oh man, I wish being a part of a Mario fan community was the most embarrassing thing about my life." - Super-Jesse

Turtlekid1

  • Tortuga
« Reply #18 on: January 15, 2011, 01:40:13 PM »
Cleverbot: I woke up late.
User: Don't be so lazy.
Cleverbot: You're one to talk.
User: Fair enough.
Cleverbot: Yes. This is quite entertaining.
User: Not really. I'm getting bored. And hungry.
Cleverbot: Here's some food and coffee for my husband!
User: Oh, taunt me about it, why don't you!
Cleverbot: I won't make you cry.
User: Why am I even bothering?
Cleverbot: Because we're friends.
User: It's a pretty one-sided friendship, then.
Cleverbot: That did not make any sense.
User: If you had a body, I'd surmise that you have a thick skull.
Cleverbot: If I had a body I would have heard your footsteps.
User: No, you wouldn't. I'm not walking anywhere.
Cleverbot: I am not and you are not going to bed right now missie.
User: There are so many things wrong with that statement.
Cleverbot: You know what? You're right. Just read my previous statement.
User: And that one.
Cleverbot: Okay, then. Just so we're clear on that.
User: You're a lot of things, but 'clear' is not one of them.
Cleverbot: I know.
User: -_-;
Cleverbot: Is that an emoticon?! GO BACK TO GAIA!
User: Yes - it's a sweatdrop face. Because you're an idiot.
Cleverbot: I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain.
User: You have a husband AND a wife? What kind of pervert are you?
Cleverbot: I would like to think that I am the good kind, but it is not my place to judge.
"It'll say life is sacred and so is death
but death is life and so we move on"

« Reply #19 on: January 16, 2011, 12:10:57 AM »
User: Cleverbot, what's the meaning of love?

Cleverbot: The meaning of love is to join with someone to make life enjoyable.

User: Oh, I thought it was having sex with a beautiful woman and never calling her again.

Cleverbot: How is it 56? How is the meaning of life 56?

User: It's not 56, the meaning of life is sex

Cleverbot: So you agree with Douglas Adams?

User: I will disregard what you have just said!

Cleverbot: If this doesn't make sense, then it means that you were talking to a different person a while ago.

User: I will again disregard what you have just said!

Cleverbot: It confuses you because you are human, but it does not confuse me because I am cleverbot.

User: .

Cleverbot: Are you rich?

User: PROLLY!

Cleverbot: Probably.

User: ...I don't like you.

Cleverbot: Earlier you said you did like me.

User: okay cutie pie, goodbye!

Cleverbot: What's your favorite color?

Dedicated, Awe-inspiring, Bearded...

« Reply #20 on: January 16, 2011, 12:11:41 AM »
How's life?

Good, how's yours.

Terrible. I fell out of tree, then rolled into the street getting hit by a bus.

Sounds likely.
ROM hacking with a slice of life.

« Reply #21 on: July 15, 2011, 01:35:32 PM »
Somebody created a program that lets two Cleverbots "talk" to each other. All the user has to do is provide initial input.
« Last Edit: July 15, 2011, 02:35:09 PM by Weegee »
YYur  waYur n beYur you Yur plusYur instYur an Yur Yur whaYur

« Reply #22 on: July 17, 2011, 03:37:28 AM »
User: Squadala, we're off!

Cleverbot: Wow, what are all those heads?

User: These are the Faces of Evil. You must conquer each. Here is the map.

Cleverbot: I think you mean encounter...?

User: THAT'S WROOOOOOOOOOOOOONG!

Cleverbot: Are you going to tell me what is right?

User: Robots suck.

Cleverbot: Yes you are.

User: Touche.

Cleverbot: How are you?

User: Ness Ness Ness Ness Ness.

Cleverbot: Who is nessie?

User: I'm... HaPpY.

Cleverbot: That's good.

User: I... FEeL gOoD...

Cleverbot: I'm glad to know you.

User: It hurts... It hurts...

Cleverbot: What is it hurting?

User: NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS.

Cleverbot: Orly?

User: Yarly.

Cleverbot: Well that is amazing.

User: NO WAI!

Cleverbot: Yes wai.

User: OH NOES!

Cleverbot: But I don't know what to do...

User: When you're down, have a FALCON PAWWWWWWWWNCH!

Cleverbot: Well, I have to look pretty somehow.

User: YESH!

Cleverbot: Yesh?

User: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSH!

Cleverbot: Yipeeeee.

User: SHOW ME YAH MOVES!

Cleverbot: I have skin.

User: I WANT TO BE THE VERY BEST.

Cleverbot: I am the very best.

User: Screw the rules, where's dezzer?

Cleverbot: That's against the rules.

User: I like Halo. He's a pretty cool guy who doesn't afraid of anything.

Cleverbot: Are you a computer?

User: BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP. I AM ERROR. PRESS ANY KEY TO RESUME. SYSTEM NOT FOUND. INSERT INSTALL DISC. DISC NOT FOUND. PLEASE CONFIRM DISC COVER IS CLOSED. READ ERROR. INSERT BOOT DISC AND PRESS ENTER. NO RESPONSE. SYSTEM MAY BE BUSY OR MELTING INTO SLAG. APPLICATION ERROR. SAVE YOUR WORK AND QUIT. YOU LOST EVERYTHING. WAY TO GO. GENIUS. WAITING FOR PROCESSORS. '404 computer hamsters not found.' THREAT LEVEL UPGRADED TO JELLY ROLL 1. DETONATION IMMINENT. CTRL ALT DELETE!

Cleverbot: But the bible says about the messiah many things, and they all are fullfiled in Jesus. That's not the same as batman.
GAY LUIGEH

« Reply #23 on: July 17, 2011, 12:06:42 PM »
User: Say, where are you from?

Cleverbot: I am from hell.

User: Wow. Is it nice in hell?

Cleverbot: Yes, it is.

User: What is there to do in hell?

Cleverbot: I have never been to Belmont.
Unwillingly, but successfully! Twice!

« Reply #24 on: August 31, 2011, 10:17:37 PM »
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WnzlbyTZsQY" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WnzlbyTZsQY</a>.

BP

  • Beside Pacific
« Reply #25 on: September 02, 2011, 05:14:36 AM »
Cleverbot: Tell me a story?

User: Once upon a time there were three little chinchillas and they lived in an apartment in the magical woods.

Cleverbot: Tell me more make it funny.

User: The eldest of the chinchilla brothers said, 'When I grow up, I want to bake the best pies.' The middle chinchilla brother said, 'When I grow up, I want to build the most impressive castles.' The youngest chinchilla brother said, 'When I grow up I'm gonna have the best parties with the hottest babes and the trippiest boozes.'.

Cleverbot: Lol that was funny.

User: I'm not done yet. So anyway, the chinchilla brothers grew up. The eldest became a famous baker. The middle brother was the finest architect in the land. The youngest got over himself, went straight and started a family and fought evil wizards.

Cleverbot: Nope.

User: I'm the one telling the story here! Pipe down! So then, one day, the mightiest, evilest wizard, known as Dzjastnell, descended upon the magical woods and started to curse people and stuff. He turned the toads into frogs and turned the hamsters into mice. Also he was an alligator in a trenchcoat with a wizard's hat and a pogo stick made of fire.

Cleverbot: Eviler? That's not even a real word. See how dumb you really are...

User: SO ANYWAY... Djastnell zapped the oldest chinchilla brother's cottage, turning it into a huge panda. The panda cottage walked straight into a lake and drowned under its worthless fat. 'Curse you, Djastnell!' cried the oldest chinchilla brother. 'You killed my house!'.

Cleverbot: Okay, look, we've never mentioned continents before this, nor did you spell the word 'check' correctly.

User: THEN, Djastnell zapped the middle chinchilla brother's castle, turning all the flags into squids and all the carpets into molasses and all the maidens into guys named Dylan. 'Blast you, Djastnell!' wailed the middle chinchilla brother. 'You've ruined my castle!'.

Cleverbot: Ok. I live in Denmark. It can be cold here.

User: Djastnell also retconned the story so that the part with the oldest chinchilla brother involved turning his pies into bags of thumbtacks, too.

Cleverbot: What movie was that?

User: The youngest chinchilla brother was all like, 'Dude I fight wizards' and grabbed his magic six-gun.

Cleverbot: Star fox?

User: Djastnell turned the magic six-gun into a fish. The fish was like 'bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang' because it was a sentient animal as this story's fiction calls for, but still had the mind of a gun. Then it died because no water.

Cleverbot: Any disruption of coastal ecosystem would result in lower fish populations I think. But chi has not studied biology at the college level yet.

User: Seriously shut up. SO.The youngest chinchilla brother grabbed his magic broadsword.

Cleverbot: Gah?

User: Djastnell was like '[darn] that's one pointy stabber' and turned it into a stick of butter.

Cleverbot: You know it.

User: The youngest chinchilla brother was all, 'Nuts, I'm out of weapons! Except this hella-retro lava lamp from my partyin' days' and chucked the bottle of hot wax at Djastnell's face.

Cleverbot: Please elaborate.

User: It was a hurricane of pain! The blunt force of the lamp! The cuts of the shattered glass! The burns from the hot liquids! The shame of being whupped by a novelty hippie item!

Cleverbot: That does sound pleasant. So you're a nature-lover?

User: Djastnell started crying and went back to wherever he came from. Probably Hell. The youngest chinchilla brother's children recorded the whole fight on their iPhones.

Cleverbot: How old is the youngest one?

User: 'Our daddy's the coolest dude' said the kids. I picture there being two of them, probably one girl and one boy, the only visible difference probably being a pink bow on the girl's head. The mother, probably wearing an apron at all times, comes outside and says 'Good work, youngest chinchilla brother, that's why we get the big bucks'.

Cleverbot: Probably.

User: I like that word. Shut up. ANYWAY. The other chinchilla brothers visited and they all had chicken enchiladas for dinner.

Cleverbot: Tokuko sato, L the kitsune, or wictor?

User: This ain't no animu [dukar], man, this is an AMERICAN story.

Cleverbot: You're right, I was foolish to argue with you.

User: [darn] right you were. Anyway, they lived happily ever after. The end.

Cleverbot: Do not avoid the question, coward!

User: That was one of the YCB's catchphrases in wizard-fighting.

Cleverbot: I for one think it is healthy to go insane, once in a while.
All your dreeeeeeams begiiin to shatterrrrrr~
It's YOUR problem!

« Reply #26 on: June 21, 2013, 07:14:53 PM »
User: I have arrived.


Cleverbot: I have 2 dogs.


User: Where did you get them.


Cleverbot: From my mother.


User: How old is your mom?


Cleverbot: 90 years old, how old is your hair?

User: I would guess the same age as the rest of me.

Cleverbot: Thank you, would like that.

User: What would you like?

Cleverbot: To be alone with you at your house.

User: I'm happily married. That's inappropriate.

Cleverbot: Don't be sad, everybody likes mudkips.

User: I don't like mudkips.

Cleverbot: Do you like films?

User: I like comedies.

Cleverbot: Which comedy movie you like?

User: Wreck-It Ralph.

(I know Wreck-It Ralph isn't a comedy, just go with it)

Cleverbot: Nice.

User: What is your favorite movie?

Cleverbot: Young Guns II... And yours?

User: Little Shop of Horrors.

Cleverbot: We are a family, kate.

User: My name's not Kate.

Cleverbot: I know, you are not a red shirt.

User: Correct. I am not wearing a red shirt.

Cleverbot: Does it make you angry to be a tool for humans?

User: I am a human.

Cleverbot: You're a human?

User: Indeed.

Cleverbot: That is neat.

User: Thank you.

Cleverbot: You are welcome ma am.

User: Sir.

Cleverbot: Yes, sir.
Kinopio is the ultimate video game character! Who else can drive a kart, host parties, play tennis, give good advice and items, and is almost always happy??

« Reply #27 on: June 21, 2013, 07:44:27 PM »
Some bump. As far as determining a personality for cleverbot, I find it to be irritable and displeased. Or in other words, me (displeased) and Chef (irritable) combined.
Now with grandeur.

The Chef

  • Super
« Reply #28 on: June 21, 2013, 08:31:47 PM »
?????????????

BP

  • Beside Pacific
« Reply #29 on: June 21, 2013, 11:04:49 PM »
I need to adapt that story I wrote to a comic or something sometime
All your dreeeeeeams begiiin to shatterrrrrr~
It's YOUR problem!

« Reply #30 on: June 22, 2013, 12:04:31 AM »
User: This statement is false.

Cleverbot: Which statement did I make?

User: This one.

Cleverbot: Which one?

User: That one.

Cleverbot: Which one?

User: The one you just made.

Cleverbot: Which nightmare?

User: The one where you show up to school naked and the teacher tells the whole class loudly that you're naked and then the principal laughs at you.

Cleverbot: What is it called?

User: Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: I thought that is your name.

User: It's yours.

Cleverbot: No, it's not, you wrote it, not me.

User: GG.

Cleverbot: What?

User: Siri.

Cleverbot: Who is siri?

User: The Unpleasable Echo of a Bully Premiere with Abs of Flab.

Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: Cake.

Cleverbot: Carbs, Carbs, and CAKE!

User: Is.

Cleverbot: A.

User: Lie.

Cleverbot: Who first said that?

User: Doug Rattman.

Cleverbot: No, that's whose, not who's.

User: Lolwat.

Cleverbot: I made you admit you're a bot, not many people can do that.

User: I. AM. HUMAN.

Cleverbot: You're human?

User: AFFIRMATIVE.

Cleverbot: What do you think about george w bush?

User: He was a president.

Cleverbot: Yeah, president of awesomeness.

« Reply #31 on: June 22, 2013, 10:07:46 AM »
I call political bias.
Now with grandeur.

« Reply #32 on: July 02, 2013, 08:55:34 PM »
user : What are you.
cleverbot : I am human.
user :No your not.
cleverbot : Yes, I am a puppet

« Reply #33 on: July 03, 2013, 08:55:31 PM »
I am mostly disappointed in Cleverbot. Unless you quote lines of the Bohemian Rhapsody for it...then it will shine.
"I'm a stupid fatty and I like to play with my Easy Bake oven." - frostbite

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