Fungi Forums
Miscellaneous => Forum Games => Topic started by: Pt_Peach on January 14, 2006, 12:22:21 AM
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lets start a smash bros melee fanfic that's just as crazy as a melee! it'll be full of melees and situations in the characters lives as well! lets start it! we can write dialouge for any character we want. i think i'd be cool for everything to match up though.
(All the characters enter the super smash stadium)
Announcer: Welcome to the Super Smash Stadium, the new and improved stadium and now females can play here as well!
Peach: Ummmm, announcer guy, why couln't we play here in the first place?
Link: Well first of al...(clapse hand over Link's mouth)
Mario: You'a couldnt play here because of the rough'a...enviorment.
Link: That's no...(Link's mouth is closed again)
Captain Falcon (whispering to Link): It would help if you could keep you big mouth shut before the girls find out the real reason they couldn't come.
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Yay!
Mr.Melee: This topic reminds me of...
Everyone: Shut up!
Announcer: I see we're ready! 3...2...1...GO!
Mr.Melee (as Mario): No racing buddies here! *punches CF away*
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roy steps in
roy: lets see about me joining
enters while doing his charge b attack
blows everone away
roy:ha!
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Mario: You'll pay for that. *throws a bob-omb at Roy, who gets blown away into space* Wow. That was sort of cheap.
Finally! A reply! XD
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roy:although little do you know i have metal box *puts on the metal box* bring it! *takes hit and does not budge*
*gets a pokeball, throws it and it was ho-oh which roast everyone but roy* XD
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peach: i'll get you for that! look at my hair and dress!!!! all scorched!!! *starts kicking roy till he can't take it anymore and falls down*
link: wait a minute peach! it's just scorched and anyway, it smash bros melee. it's go back to normal after the fight. show some mercy!
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Mario: I never show mercy, and if she's-a willing to hit, I'm-a willing to hit back! *charges up a punch and knocks Peach away*
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Link: I thought... *is grabbed by Mewtwo*
Mewtwo: Say another word and rabid LoZ fans will tear the arena up. *sticks duck tape on Link's mouth and throws him up*
*Mewtwo taunts until Zelda knocks him with the hammer*
Mewtwo: I'm blasting off again! *becomes star*
Zelda: No one messes with Linky-poo except me!
meanwhile.
Peach: Oh, so you wanna play rough, eh, Marikins?
Mario: Please-a, Peach, don't-a ca... *Mario gets wacked with Peach's frying pan*
Peach: *twisted smile* You can bake you own supper tonight.
*Mario wipes lip and finds red on his glove*
Mario: Wait. There's-a no blood on-a Super Smash-a Brothers-a Melee.
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*fox jumps from arwing, falls in arena with paracute* Link: wow, a drematic entrence. Fox: Uh, did you know peach is about to kick you in the groin? Link: Wha- *kick* AghhhhhHHHhhHHH! Mario: Mama meia, what ever happened to E for everyone?! Fox: Die! *Shoots lazer gun at mario" Mario: uh oh, *jumps over* Ha! *Lazer hits zelda" >BAM< Zelda: AhhhhHHHhh I'm on fire!!!
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Link (in pain): it was, uh, never, uh, E for everyone
Fox: yep, it's rated T for teen but not this kinda violence!
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Mario: *punches Peach and throws her off the stage, then does the same for GiftedGirl's character* Too rough yet?
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Link: What about Super Smash Bros. on the N64? That was rated E for Everyone.
*Luigi knocks Link out with homerun bat. Link descends to the arena with one less life*
Luigi: But-a this is-a based on-a Super Smash-a Brothers-a Melee, which is rated T for Teen.
Link: The only thing you need to worry about is kids looking up the princesses' desses in the trophy gallery.
Luigi: Have you ever done that?
Link: I looked up the dresses of a couple Zelda trophies once or twice.
Zelda: You WHAT?! >O
Link: Uh oh. *scampers away*
*Zelda chases Link around the arena in comic anime rage.*
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Mario: Ahh, zelda, don't make'a big fuss about it, why I did it to'a Pe...uh oh
Peach: *in a rage* YOU DID WHAT!??!?!?!? ZELDA, LETS GET EM!
(Zelda and Peach corner their guys)
Link and Mario: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Fox: HiYa! *fox kicks mario off screen, and dashes into link* Easy as pie!
Peach/Zelda: THEY WERE OURS!!! DIEEEEE
Fox: Uhhh... AhhhHHhhH! run for your lives!!!!
Roy: whats all this?
Peach: IM GONA GET YOU!
Roy: AhhhHHHh!
Link: ohhh... ?! whats going on?
Zelda: YOU! GET OVER HERE!
Link: ?! Whaaaa?
*Zelda transforms into sheik*
Sheik: Heh Heh Heh
Link: oh no! *Sheik throws nails at link*
Link: AHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh *flyes out of screen*
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Peach: Now Mario, time to deal with YOU!!!
Mario: Oh, yeah right, whatcha gonna do!?!??!
Peach: Well, first I'm gonna *is cut off my Roy*
Roy: Yaaaaaaaaah!
Peach: *charges up* HE WAS MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Roy: Uh oh *runs*
Peach: COME BACK HERE, CHICKEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Fox: *Grabs lightsaber thingy* Heh, time to rock and roll!
Link: Oh yeah? *link grabs one* I dont think so!
Fox: Yaaaahhh!
*They start fighting*
Meanwhile...
Peach: DIEDIDEIDEDIEIDIEDIEIDIEIDIEDIEIDIEIDIE
Roy: AhhhHHHh! shes gone mad!
Peach: heh heh heh...
*Peach picks roy up by the coller*
Roy: uhh... pea- *cough cough* peach... let... me... go!
Peach: Never! *picks up toad*
Toad: What are you doi- *peach slams toad into roy* >SLAM!< OMG MY FACE IS BLEE- >SLAM!< Ahh! *peach tosses toad away* AHHhhhhh!
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Peach: omg, I'm so darn warn out. I can't go on. Hey Roy, can you take care of Mario?
Roy: YOU ASK ME NOW!??!?!?!
Peach: yes
Roy: Well, okay. MARIO, BECAUSE YOUR PRINCESS TORTURED ME, I'M GONNA TORTURE YOU!!!
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Mario: Mama meia! *they run around franticly*
Meanwhile...
Fox: Ok, this is starting to get boring *shoots link in groin*
Link: aghh! why does this always happen to me?!
Fox: because you have a sign that says "Attack Here" on your groin!
Link: uhh... oh...
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Link: ooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
Samus Aran: serves you right, idiot
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Link: well, this may help *gets a cup* Heh Heh
All: .... *Stares blankly at link*
Link: ? what?!
Mario: Uhh... link? you know, that thing makes you look... uh, not so good... uh... Samus? can you burn that thing?
Samus: Sure *charges gun*
Link: O.o wait!, hold up! dont shoo-
Samus: >BAM!<
Link: .... *dies*
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Peach and Zelda: YOU STUPID MEN!!!
Zelda: MY LINKY-POO'S DEAD!!! MARIO, I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!!
Peach: *with renewed energy* I'LL HELP YOU!!!
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Mario: *grabs a Super Mushroom, stomps and knocks away the girls* Ha ha! That counts Peach, Zelda, and Samus.
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Zelda: Nice going, fatso! Who's gonna save me from the evil pig now?
*Ganondorf enters*
Ganondorf: Did somebody say 'evil'? All shall fear, for Ganondorf is here!
Zelda: *groans* Oh, no.
Mario: *kicks Ganondorf aside* I'm not-a fat, Zelda, I'm just-a big-boned.
Peach: DIE! *whacks Mario with beam sword*
Mario: What? Peach, what if-a Mr. Turtle kidnaps-a you, like he usually does?
Peach: Thought about it. Luigi needs some golden moments under the spotlight too.
Ganondorf: Oohh Owch
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Luigi: I'a sure do! I'm tired of'a saving imaginary princesses!
Mario: You man Princess Eclair was fake!?!?!?
Luigi: She wasn't fake, just a fantasy...*dazes off*
Peach: This clowns not gonna save me! I can kick Bowser's butt myself!
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Mr. Turtle: Hey! I'm supposed to be in the AC Forums! *goes to them and sleeps*
Mario: *grabs Invisibility device* Where am I? *sneak attacks everyone* Ooooooooooohhhhhhhhhh!
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Mario: *yelling* This stadium is boring, can you guys change the level?
Anoucer: sure, which stage do you want?
Mario: Uhhhh... how bout I let somone else decied
Anoucer: Ok... who do you want to answer
Link: Oh! ME ME! Please!
Mario: Uhhh.... I choose...
Link: Come on mario!!!
Mario: Samus!
Samus: allritey, I choose...
Link: Hyrule! Hyrule!
Samus: Brinstar Depths!
Link: NOOOOOO I hate that level...
*Chage stage to brinstar depths*
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Samus: now, time to beat some male butt!
Mario: Now'a why would you'a want'a to do that?
Samus: Just because...HI-YAH!!!
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Mario: *dodges attack, grabs and swings Samus around* Welcome to-a Mario's Super Smashing Carnival! I think this ride is too tough for you. *let's Samus fly off into the heavens*
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Fox: I think you've done enough damage for one game *kicks mario in the chest*
Mario: .... That didn't hurt...
Fox: Probly because your so fat!
Mario: Shut up about my weight!!!
Fox: naw, Its fun
Mario: (enraged) DIEEEEEE
Fox: whaaaa?
Mario: *grabs fireflower* YAAAHHHHHH!!!
Fox: ohh...
Mario: >Blip<
Fox: Ahh! >FWOOSH!<
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Fox: A boo-boo! Mommy! *runs off crying*
Mario: *stares*What ever. *grabs Bowser, who entered, and wings him aroung, just like on Super Mario 64*
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Luigi: *throws green fireball at Mario* There you-a go, once again, hogging the spotlight with-a your blubber!
Mario: *throws red fireball at Luigi* It's-a muscle! I'm in-a tip-top shape!
Samus: Not according to this. *kicks Mario in belly* With a target that big, it's a clean shot.
Peach: Leave him alone!
Zelda: You're defending him now? *Peach whispers into Zelda's ear about her mood swings* Ohh. I understand. The worst time of month.
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Mario: *staring confusedly* Ah well. When you're-a confused in-a Super Smash-a Bros. Melee, just knock everyone away! *does that*
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*a brown-haired blue-eyed boy of Mario's height with a blue hat and little round nose suddenly appears and bounces off Mario's head*
Mario: *jumping angrily* What in-a mushroom-a blazes?! Now I know how those-a Piantas and-a Nokis-a felt.
Peach: *to boy* Wait, who are you? You're not a Smasher.
boy: No, but I'm related to at least one of you. My name is Tashio.
Mario: What are you doing here?
Tashio: My dad told me to keep that pretty boy, Link, away from my mother.
Zelda: *cries* But my Linky-poo is dead! No thanks to that pesky plumber!
Tashio: Oh, well, then I guess I'll just be off... BACK TO THE FUTURE! *bright flash and Tashio vanishes*
everyone: ?????? *Zelda keeps crying*
gentle voice behind Zelda: Dry your tears, Zel.
Zelda: huh? *looks behind at voice, sees Link* *gasp* Link!
*Link and Zelda embrace in hug*
Zelda: But I thought you were dead.
Link: This is Super Smash Bros. No one really dies here.
Zelda: You want payback?
Link: Oh, yeah.
*L and Z glare at Mario*
Mario: What?
*L&Z charge at Mario; Peach jumps in between*
Peach: You wanna pick on my Marikins, you go through me first!
Mario: *rolls eyes* Match must've-a turned into Team-a Battle.
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Mario: First Peach hated me, but Zelda and Link still hate me, ugh. Must be teams. *joins up with Peach*
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Peach: Like I said, it was just a mood swing. I DONT WANNA TEAM UP WITH YOU!!!
Link: We'll be happy to let you team up with us, Peach.
Zelda: *wispering to Peach* eh, Peach? don't let those mood swings get you on Mario's side, kay?
Peach: *wispering back to Zelda* kay!
Link: All right girls, LETS GET MARIO!!!
Peach and Zelda: ALL RIGHT!!!
Mario: uh-oh AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
(Link, Peach, and Zelda attack Mario)
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roy: suprise!!!
*blast the girls and link away* sry 4 last time mario
mario:lets go!
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Pikachu walks in and scratches peaches back and bites her hair* Picka!"
Mario: Ew...thats gross"
Peach: AGHH! get this rat off me!
Pikachu eats more hair*
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Kirby: *sucks up Pikachu and Peach*
Kirby: mmm... Tastes like chicken!
Kirby: *spits out*
Mario: *sneaks up from behind kirby* Heh... I'm gona...
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roy:get them
mario:it'sa pinka puffball
roy:ill roast it
*borrows mario flamer*
*roast kirby so it looks like it ate mr. game and watch*
roy and mario: ahahahahahahahahahaha!
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Peach (going a Kirby for sucking her up): You ruined my hair you horrible beast! Now taste the TERROR!!! *hits Kirby with a charged cast iron skillet*
Kirby: *moaning* uhhhhh.
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Peach whacks Mario and Roy from behind
Peach: Link, Zelda, and I may have been down, but we're not out! *sees Link and Zelda kissing* ugh! Are you two done yet?
Link: Huh? oh yeah.
Link and Zelda pose beside Peach
Peach: *strike pose* lets begin this match
Mario and Roy strike pose
Match begins; Roys fending off Link and Zelda; Peach and Mario duke it out.
Peach: I wonder *kisses Mario on the lips*
Mario is violently blushing, disabled in a daze. *Peach uses her smash B move on Mario*
Peach: Well, whadya know?
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'The real' Mario: What'd I miss? *knocks Link, Zelda, and Peach away in astonishment* Nothing much, I guess.
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Peach: THAT'S IT! I HATE ALL THIS PUSHING AROUND!!! Hey, anybody gonna help me?
(Zelda and Link are nowhere to be seen)
Peach: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
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Mario: Never walk in the night alone. *picks up a hammer and goes on a rampage, sending Peach all the way to SSB.*
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Peach: Aaah! I'm all pixely! Oooh, what's that?
*Runs into bumper*
Peach: Ow.
*Runs into bumper*
Peach: Ow.
*Runs into bumper*
Peach: Ow.
*Runs into bumper*
Peach: Ow.
*Runs into bumper*
Peach: Ow.
*Runs into bumper*
Peach: Ow.
*Runs into bumper*
Peach: Ow.
*Runs into bumper*
Peach: Ow.
*Runs into bumper*
Peach: Ow.
*Runs into bumper*
Peach: Ow.
*Runs into bumper*
Peach: Ow.
*Runs into bumper*
Peach: Ow.
*Runs into bumper*
Peach: Ow.
*Runs into bumper*
Peach: Ow.
*Runs into bumper*
Peach: Ow.
*Runs into bumper*
Peach: Ow.
*Runs into bumper*
Peach: Ow.
*Runs into bumper*
Peach: Ow.
*Runs into bumper*
Peach: Ow.
*Runs into bumper*
Peach: Ow.
*Runs into bumper*
Peach: Ow.
*Runs into bumper*
Peach: Ow.
*Dodges bumper*
Peach: Well, I won't do that again.
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Mario: *sends an e-mail to Peach saying he wants to fight again so he can beat her*
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Peach: *blocks his e-mail address* There! Now only my friends can come through and not my boyfriend!
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computer: Your message could not go through
Mario: ? ? ? *sigh* I'll never understand women.
*Signs up at MKMSN HotParakarry under the name: Oiram Igiul*
Mario: She'll never know! :P
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Peach: Now I need a new boyfriend! *whines*
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Bowser: *crashes into Peach's room* A new boyfriend eh? I bet you'll regret saying that in a few moments! BLEAHAHAHAAAA!! *Bowser's minions surround Peach* Who's gonna save you now?
Peach: Mario will if he truly loves me!
Bowser: Dang! WELL I'LL KIDNAP YOU ANYWAY!
Peach: *rolls eyes* Here we go again.
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Peach: *hits Bowser with her frying pan* Don't-You-Ever-Touch-Me-A-Gain! You-hear-me? You-here-me? Huh? HUH???
Bowser: *gets up again* Now you'll get it!
Peach: *rolls eyes* Now I know Mario doesn't love me...LINK! ROY? MARTH!?!?! Help me defeat this moron!
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Mario: *eating chips and dip at home*
Mario's Mom: You better clean your room, young man!
Mario: Uhh. I'm-a going back into Super Smash-a Bros. Melee. *goes back there*
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*Mario enters Peach's room*
Mario: Get-a your grimy claws off the princess! *forms fire ball in hand*
Peach: You do care for me!
Mario: Ever since the day I first-a met you.
Bowser: BLAH-ha-ha-haaa!! I've read you in fanfiction, and you're pathetic!
Mario: But I still kick your butt in-a them!
Peach: He's got you there.
Bowser: Uhhh.... *sticks plunger in Mario's mouth* Ha! You don't want to know what was in the toilet the last time I stuck that thing in! *runs off*
Mario: *muffles* *tugging at plunger*
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Peach: *pulls the plunger out of Mario's mouth then hugs him* You do care for me!
Mario: Yes'a I do!
Peach: *still hugging Mario**smiling*
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Mario: YOU SHOULDN'T DO THAT. I GOT CAPS-LOCK DISEASE.
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*Dr. Mario appears and throws megavitamins for his plumber counterpart* *Mario swallows megavitamin and stikes a generic "power restored" pose*
Peach: *still clung to Mario* Oh, Mario.
Dr. Mario: *whispers to self* Oh, barf! Why do the plumbers and-a swordsmen always-a get the good action? *leaves*
~In Dr. Mario's room~
*Dr. Mario's assistant, Nurse Peach, enters*
Nurse Peach: Doctor, doctor, give me the news. I've got a bad case of lovin' you.
Dr. Mario: *to self* Now this is what I'm talking about!
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Mario: Enough with-a the friendship. Are we gonna melee or are we-a gonna talk in-a fake Italian accents all day?
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Dr. Mario: Fake-a Italian accents-a rock.
Falco: Meh, this is like a bad soap opera.
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Luigi: We can-a do both! *hits Mario square with up+b move* And it's-a not-a fake! Mario and I always-a talk like-a this!
Fox: *kicks Luigi* Yeah, you two are more like steriotypes.
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Peach: You guys accents are so cute! But...you...Mario...havent been giving you enough attention *looks sad*
ps. author note:
somebody finish this for me!
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Falco: What?! He gets more attention than most of us!
Fox: Yeah! Italian Boy can't stand to not be placed in a game for a long period of time.
Peach: I don't care! We're always there for each other!
Mario: Aw shucks. *blushes and kicks dust*
Luigi: *punches Mario* Hey! Don't-a steal-a my taunt!
female voice: Mario Mario, I have a bone to pick with you!
Mario: Huh, Pauline? Uh, swee- *slapped by Pauline*
Peach: Hey! Keep your sl**** claws off him.
Pauline: Back off, Fairy Queen! He's had this coming for 24 years!
Peach: Fairy Queen?! You happen to be talking to Princess Peach Toadstool!
Mario: I can explain-a everything!
Fox: *whispers to Falco* Wonder who the new chic is.
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Mario: Ah great. Look-a Peach, she's-a the original you! She's been in this-a business for almost twenty-a years! And what ever happened to-a the melee action? *charges and punches Fox, but leaves Falco alone.* Only reason you're still-a here is because-a you were right-a. This is turning into a soap-a!
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Peach: *flames at Mario like in SPP* I HATE YOU, YOU CHEATER!!! *beats Mario nonstop with her frying pan* Link! Zelda! My best friends, could you all please come and help me beat the cheater up?
Zelda and Link: Right here *smirking*
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Pauline: Hey! He deserted me without saying a word! *pushes Peach out of the way and slaps Mario nonstop* When I'm through with him, you're next, Miss Prissy!
Peach: Why, you dirty b**ch! *Peach and Pauline scramble in catfight*
Fox: Now this is action!
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Daisy: *enters the scene* Well, Peach is a good lady and I'm through with Mario.
Peach and Pauline: *in unision* WHAT!??!?!?!
Peach: Mario, I shall torture you to your death!!! Pauline, I have no need for your help, man-stealer!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Link: I'm just gonna sit back and watch this fight with Star Fox *winks*
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Pauline: He was mine first! You're the boyfriend stealer!
Luigi: Daisy... and... my brother? NOTHING MAKES-A SENSE ANYMORE! *goes Smash Bros. on everyone*
Mario: *running from girls* What-a can I say? I'm a ladies'-a man!
Mushroom Mage: Now this my kind of soap *sits back with legs crossed midair*
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All of the smash bros melee girls: MARIO! YOU IDIOT!!! *beats him up*
Marth: This'll be good.
Link: I second that.
Roy: Lets just sit back and watch
*Marth, Link, and Roy laugh in unision*
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Mario: *returns with chips and hot salsa* Ugh, this is worthless. These girls are-a ragin' with-a anger! This'll be a good cat-a fight though. Who needs-a somein to liven up this party! *everyone eats while the girls fight.*
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Samus: You men are horrible! Do you really find it entertaining to watch girls beat the crap out of each other?
Falco: Actually, yes.
*Samus nabs Mario's hot sause and dumps it on Falco's eyes (cruel, isn't she?)*
Falco: AAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Fox: You evil woman! You could've blinded my partner!
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Falco: Partner??? PARTNER???? Are you implying...
Fox: What??? Oh , oh no! Oh heavens to ice cream, no!
Falco: You realize how close you just came to death, don't you?
*Fox gets hit on the head with a frying pan, courtesy of Peach.*
Falco: This is getting out of hand!
Peach: WHO WANTS SOME MORE OF THIS???!!!!
Falco: Now I know how Sonic the Hedgehog feels when Amy gets mad at him! Hey! What are you doing? Stay back! Noooooo!
*Gets whacked in the crotch during Peach's golf swing.*
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Falco: *moaning* Omigosh, Peach. You *moan* had to *moan* take it that far.
Peach: You were annoying me.
Fox: You attacked my partner! Here we go! *attacks Peach ferouciosly*
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Mario: I-a thought Fox just got-a knocked out!
Falco: Oh...man...! I've never felt this much...pain!!!!
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Peach: I'll show you pain, Mario! *hits Mario in crotch with aforementioned golf club* I love you, but this is for your own good! We're through.
Mario: *high pitched... like even for Mario* Mama-Mia! *keels over*
Marth: She doesn't mean all that she said. You know how women are.
Mario: *cough* Leave me alone. *tear runs down cheek*
Link: Don't worry about it too much, Mario. I've gone through this kind of stuff with Zelda. Peach will be back to her old self, and all of this will just seem like a bad nightmare.
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Peach: I heard that Linkie-, eh, Link *blushes*
Link: Woah, Peach, I'm taken. Uh oh *backs away*
Peach: ZELDA CAN HAVE MARTH! YOU'RE MY NEW BOO!
Link: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! *runs as fast as he possibly can*
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Mario: Well, I was-a gonna ask, does Zelda beat-a the crap out of-a you too?
Zelda: Yes, I can throttle Link any day of the week! You should hear him! He screams like a girl!
Pauline: hey! I just heard Peach dumped Mario!
Zelda: *fries Pauline with her magic.*
Mario: I think I'm-a in love!
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Dr. Mario: *pops in, throws Super Vitamins at everyone, bringing everyone back to normal* You guys make-a me sick! What with all of the fighting and-a the noise! *Kid Icarus playing Cupid comes in and hits Dr. Mario in the buttocks, making him fall in love with Peach*
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Dr. Mario: *sees Peach* Yeah, baby, yeah!
Mario: Hey, Doc, *holds his doctor counterpart by collar* Doesn't-a Peach have a nurse-a counterpart for you? Get-a with her. The princess is-a my girlfriend!
*The Mushroom Mage appears*
TMM: Jeeze, Pit. A little late for Valentines Day, don't ya think?
Pit: Just wanted to liven things up.
TMM: This is Super Smash Brothers! How much more lively can it get?*forms mysterious mushroom in hand and tosses it at Dr. Mario. Love spell is broken*
Dr. Mario: W-what? You can have the princess! Just don't ruin the lab coat!
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Mario: You girlfriend stealing clone! Now I'll mess up your face!
*Pulls out sledgehammer.*
Dr. Mario: Ha! You fool! I am a doctor! I can easily heal myself!
Mario: Not if you're dead!
*Whacks Dr. Mario with sledgehammer 25 times.*
Mario: Fire nuke! *uncountable amounts of fire scorch Dr. Mario.* And now the grand finale, the Bowser toss into a collapsible building! *Does this, and building collapses, nuking everything within it.*
Link: Wow. That is one dead doctor.
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Cupid: One last late-valentines arrow! *shoots an arrow into Link's heart, making him fall for Peach*
Link: Peach *grabs her arm* Why darling, you are quite beautiful, aye?
Zelda: Hey Link! You cheat!
Mario: It's-a okay, Zelda. I'm available. *winks*
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TMM: It's funny, but I can't allow such relationships to happen. *takes cupid arrow from pit and forms mysterious mushrooms in hands. Gives mushroom to Link and the Hylian is cured from love spell* Ugh! I'm too old and powerful for this.
Link: *punches Mario* Quit flirting with my girlfriend!
Zelda: *sigh* Men! *rolls eyes*
Peach: I second that!
Pit: Why didn't you give one of those to Mario?
TMM: He's not under any love spell. Italian boy's on his own
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Mario: Holy carp! What's that?
Luigi: It's...oh my gosh, I don't believe it! It's...Master Hand!
Peach: I'll smash him too! Yaaaaaaaah!
Mario: Peach, no!
Master hand: Ah, so the little princess is the only one who his brave enough to face me? She is also the most foolish of you all! *smites Peach with one sweep of his hand.*
Mario: You picked the wrong girlfriend of the wrong guy to mess with, Master (beep!)
MH: WHAT??
Mario: You and anyone not watching at home heard what I said! Cause you know, the FCC blocks out the bad words on the TV, with a beeping noise.
-
MH: That was a retorical question, you fool! Now your pesky potty-mouth is gonna get what's been coming to you! *MH squeezes Mario*
Mario: Waaaaaaaaa! Mushoom Mage!
TMM: What do you want ME to do? My powers are only that of a smasher compared to his!
Mario: At least try somethiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!
TMM: And I thought your brother was a whiner!
Luigi: HEY!
TMM: Fine! I'll try! *Inserts Poison Mushroom into MH*
-
Napoleon Dynamite: We interrupt this topic to bring you this update. This topic is going off target with love affairs, when we should be watching good smash action. We now resume with your regular programming... *still on air* Are we off yet? Someone get me some nachos, gosh!
-
Mario: Lets-a go back to-a melee!!!
*4 player melee*
Fox: Common!
Peach: Saaaa-weet!
Mario: *grows large*
Link: Ahhh...
FIGHT!!!
*Entire chaos melee*
-
Master Hand: *interrupts melee* AHEM! I had Mario in my evil grasp. And you end an interesting match? FOOLS! I AM MASTER HAND!!
The Mushroom Mage: Yeah, yeah, shout it to the heavens why don't you.
MH: QUIET! You're only a fanmade character! *MH resumes other match, and Mario is once again in his grasp*
Mario: Not agaaaaiiiinn!!!
Bowser: No fair! I've always wanted to do that to Mario!
TMM: *sigh* Here we go again. *gives MH poison mushroom once again. MH shrinks*
little MH: Curses!
Mario smirks and bites MH's index finger.
little MH: Yaaaaaaaaaoooooowwww!!! Why you pestering plumber! *shakes hand around, yet seeing as MH is just a disembodied right hand, he shook his entire body in pain* That was my shield-breaking finger!
Mario: Mmmmm!! Taste like chicken!
MH: *grows back to normal size whining* *sniffle* Is it bleedin?
Mario: How do you think I should defeat him?
TMM: Well, normally, I'd suggest that one weapon of yours, but seeing as Master Hand doesn't have a nose, I don't think it will have any affect on him.
Mario: Dang! And I love that weapon. So what should I do instead.
TMM: Beat the crap out of him! It's Super Smash Brothers for crying out loud! Or better yet, are you hungry?
Mario: *drools*
TMM: I'll take that as a yes. I'll disable him, and you know what to do.
A few moments later a satisfied Mario powerfully belches after a great meal of chicken flavored Master Hand.
Mario: Good plan, Mushroom Mage. Can I use that secret weapon on Bowser next time he kidnaps Peach?
TMM: Just be careful. I've heard the gas associated with that weapon can be flamable. *to audience* Now that Master hand has been eaten, we will now return to our regularly scheduled match.
-
Mario: What's this button do? *turns the trophy button on*
Falco: You eediot! Know we are surrounded by floating troph... *is crushed by Pan*
Mario: Now this is what I call a setting! *jumps off of an Arwing trophy and super punches Fox*
-
Fox: Owww!
Mario: Whoops!
Fox: I'M NOT A DARN TROPHY!!!
Mario: My bad |-o
Fox: That's all you have to say?!??!?!!?
Mario: a-Yeah.
Fox: *shoots Mario* I bet that's not all you'll have to say next time.
-
Mario: Gaaaaahhhh!! Why are the men getting their groins-a shot?
Fox: Cause it's funny!
Mario: *throws fireball at Fox's crotch* Funny now?
-
roy: this is outta hand! (gets punched) GAH!(starts rampanging)gah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
mario and everyone: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
-
And coming up next, our grand match for the SSB title! Bowser vs Mario vs DK vs Luigi in a Super Smash Brothers fight to the finish!
-
Mario: Are we on yet? No? Fine, get me a hot dog while I wait!
-
Peach: Hey Mario!
Mario: Hey Peach. Eh, Peach, the next two rounds, were supposed to fight.
Peach: I know! Why do you think I'm so bright and bubbly? See you after I kick your butt!
Mario: Ugh.
-
Jman: Save it, you to.
Mario: She started it first! It's all her fault! *gets his hot dog and gives the bill to Peach* Hehaha!
-
Peach: Uh! I'm not paying your stupid hot dog bill!
Mario: *ignoring her*
Peach: I SAID I'M NOT PAYING YOUR GOT DANG HOTDOG BILL!
MarioL *still ignoring her*
Peach: AAAAH! *knocks Mario out with her frying pan, then lays the bill on top of him*
-
*Mr.Melee: how many times is she going to knock me out?*
Mario: What's this? Oh, Peach's bill. *walks to Judge*
Mario: Hey Judge. PEach didn't pay her bill.
Judge: I see. *finds Peach and locks her up inside Hooktail*
-
Peach: I'm innocent! It was his hot dog bill! *make puppydog eyes* You do belive me, don't you :(?
Judge: Eh, *sees the puppydog eyes* Ahhh! I'll pay the bill! It was a friggin 5 dollar bill! *pays the bill and lets Peach out*
Peach: Thank you judge! *hugs the judge* Now I'll be off! To kick Mario's butt, that is
-
Jman: I'd love to stay, but I have a 3:00 meeting with Homestar Runner about the possibility of becoming a broadcaster for Free Country, USA baseball. So,
hops on a transdimensional warp
Homestar Runner: Emerges from beam of light. Whoa, one second I'm swallowing Strong Bad's computer, the next I'm here. Um, why are there a bunch of random Nintendo peoples beating each other up?
Link: It's Super Smash Brothers! Get used to it! *punches Mario.*
Mario: Hey! I was on timeout eating some pasta!
Peach: Is that Homestar Runner?
Homestar: I don't know, is it?
Jman: Gets back from dimension hopping. Oh, it was terrible! Trogdor attacked me while Strong Bad said, "Take that, Homestar! Burninate him Troggie! Oh..crap! That's not Homestar!" And then I was gone!
-
TMM: *Kicks Homestar back to homestarrunner.com* No more crossovers! References and cameos don't bother me.
Peach: *finding Mario, who is pigging out on some lasagna* There you are, Mister!
Mario: *mumbles proudly to himself* I'm such a chic magnet!
Peach: *slaps Mario* Chic magnet my (butt)!
Link: Peach, it's not very princess-like to curse.
Peach: *slaps Link* Well, it's not very gentleman-like to hand the bill to the girl!
Luigi: *to himself* No wonder Pauline dumped him.
-
Link: Well you didn't have to slap me!
Peach: Right, whatever.
Link: Zelda never slaps me and always use Zelda's credit card to pay the bi-oops.
Zelda: You little pig! *slaps Link crazy-like*
Peach: Serves him right.
Zelda: Yeah. Lets ditch these loooooser guys.
-
Jman: I'm getting the heck out of here before all heck breaks loose!
-
Peach: CHAAARGE!
*Peach and Zelda begin to beat up Mario and Link*
C. Falcon: Ladies, please, break it up. You can both have me.
*Silence ensues*
C. Falcon: You weren't fighting over me?
Luigi: This will get messy...
Samus: What will?
Peach: Samus... help us beat up Falcon!
Zelda: Yeah!
Samus: Sure, why not?
C. Falcon: Oh, cruuuud...
*Peach, Zelda and Samus beat up Captain Falcon*
Yay! 100th reply!
-
Jman: Boy, I'm glad I got out of...oh crap! I'm still here!
Bowser: Yes, you can't leave until you have been beaten up by every female!
Jman: Just what I need. A beating given to me by a group of girls.
-
TMM: Enough with the affairs stuff!
Peach *slaps TMM* It's not our fault our boyfriends are taking advantage of our money!
TMM: *fumes* NEVER slap a mage! *zaps Peach*
Peach: AAAAAAAGHHHHH!! *collapses*
Zelda: How dare you hurt my friend!
Mario: *same time as Zelda* How dare you hurt my love! *runs toward Peach*
Peach: *regains consciousnous* (cough) What are you doing here?
Mario: Peach, please. I love you.
Peach: (cough) Yah right! You're only in it for my money!
Mario: Never! Luigi and I get plenty of money from the coins lying all over the Mushroom Kingdom.
Peach: Did you two ever thought about whose coins they originally were?
Both Bros: Oh (shoot!)
Peach: (cough) Don't worry, boys. They weren't mine.
TMM: Enough with soap opera-y lovey stuff, and fight me! I just zapped your girlfriend, Mario! Isn't Peach your best friend, Zelda?
Fox tries to attack TMM, but TMM fends off with another zap.
TMM: Only Mario and Zelda may fight me!
-
Zelda: Well since we may only fight her, we only will.
Mario and Zelda: *tag team TMM*
TMM: I will never be defeated!
Mario: He's to hard, we'll be defeated!
Peach and Link: *sneaking up behind TMM* YAAAAAAAAAA! *knocks him unconscience with her fraying pan and with his sword* Not on your life will you two be deafeted. *goes to Mario and kisses him on the head* I'm sorry, dear. *goes to hug Link* Sorry I slapped you. *grabs Zelda's arm* Come on, we gotta go get the new Smash dresses. These are old.
Zelda: Come on, lets go.
Mario: So they just leave us?!?
Link: That's how it goes, man.
-
Jman: Yeah, love can be a killer.
-
TMM: *rises* I'm a woman! Here's a picture of me.
(https://themushroomkingdom.net/board/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg383.imageshack.us%2Fimg383%2F9105%2Fmushroommage2rw.jpg&hash=45d9ac92bbf5089440c7e63306085052)
Kojinka: I plan on coloring that one of these days.
TMM: Anyway, I admit defeat. For now.
-
Peach: Hey! Those are nice clothes. Can I get some before the tournament?
TMM: Ma-
MH: The SSB Tournament is about to start! All Smashers please report to the stands.
Peach: Darn.
-
Oops. I'll have to resize that some day. BTW, TMM is not your run-of-the-mill mage.
-
Announcer guy person: Alright smashers, This is it! We will now see who makes a better tag team. Any questions before we start?
Mario: Yeah, how much time left?
Announcer: Uh, three min. Just hurry up.
-
Mario stares at hotdogs, but realizes he's out of cash.
Mario: Eh, Peachy, dear?
Peach: No.
Mario: I'll pay ya back when-a we get-a home.
Peach: You just had a hotdog before that fight with the Mushroom Mage!
Mario: But that-a fight made-a me hungry.
TMM: You're not gonna win this one, Mario.
Mario: Momma-Mia.
-
Announcer: Who's ready for the fight! *crowd cheers raucously* Too bad! Time for turtle races! And they're off! ..............................................................................
-
Mario: This is-a taking too long! Turtles or Koopas, I'm-a stomping these-a buggers! *jumps on all the turtles* Let's-a go!
-
Mario: Hey! A clone! Attack! *beats up his clone, who is evil for stomping on turtles and not koopas*
-
as mario destroys just everyone, the 2 who really deserve the spotlight, Luigi and Donkey Kong, come up and luigi gets in a green fire ball and donkey kong gives him a wind up punch as mario goes into the sky and dissapears, luigi and DK highfive but they suddenly stare down, donkey kong goes for a punch but luigi gives him a headbutt but dk steals his hat and throws it off course, when luigi is distracted dk smashes luigi from one end of the court to the other, DK picks up a bobomb andthrows as luigi goes for a headbutt and luigi goes flying but he left behind one thing, a pokeball, which hits donkey in the head and out comes charizard and puts onkey in his place, and in order here are the winners, who made it to the tourny
DK
Luigi
Mario
Yoshi
Link
Fox
Saumus
zelda
Peach
Falcon
****the rest were elimanated in an all out brawl to determine the person who makes it in the semis, Falcon won this
Donkey gets up and is applauded, but heres, im a metal luigi i will see you soon,
-
MH: And next up...MARIO AND PEACH!
Mario: (thinking) I can't hit a gi--ARGH!
Peach: You can't hit a girl but I'm not girl: I AM THE PRINCESS!!!
Mario: Oh yeah *attacks Peach*
(furious fight goes on for the next 15 minutes)
MH: And the winner is...*on his right, there is a black-eyed, limped over Mario. on his right, there is a busted lip, hotheaded Peach* .....PEACH!!!
Peach: YAY! *blows kisses at the audience* I WON! MARIO YOU SUCK!
Mario: *falls over*
Audience: Huh?
-
Yoshi-KOng's post reminded me of my old SSB Live show that I used to do on here.
EDIT: Oh yeah, PRUNES. (inside joke from an old story.)
Announcer: Now then for the next fight. It will be Luigi against Captain Falcon in a Steel Cage of Doom match! Who will be the victor from what is sure to be a massive bloodbath? You won't want to miss this! Coming up next!
Tech guy: There aren't any commercial breaks in SSB!
Announcer: Oh, sorry, my mistake. The match begins now! Luigi starts off by barreling into Dk and sending him crashing into the barbed wire steel! I bet that just cut him good! I tell ya, only in Super Smash Brothers can this kind of craziness happen!
(Intense bloodbath fight rages on for 25 minutes.)
Announcer: Now he's got DK on the top of the cage! Oh my gosh! They go off the side! They crash into the ring! Now the ring collapses! Holy cow! They are both down! The entire structure of steel and fence has collapsed on our two fighters!
(later still)
Announcer: DK and Luigi struggling to their feet! Their damage meters both over 300!
And now Luigi deals a shot to DK! And the big ape goes flying! he is gone! Your winner, and advancing to the quarterfinals, Luigi!
There you have it, a much condensed version of what SSB Live once was.
-
Announcer: I don't believe it! *watches Mario arise* Mario is up! And he's clutching: a bomb!
Mario: Know way I'm losing to a girl, princess, or anyone! *throws the bomb at Peach, who is blown away and is know a star*
Announcer: The winner now is Mario!
-
Link rises.
Link: Not this time, buddy. *stabs Mario with downward thrust. Mario literally becomes a star*
Peach: My hero
Zelda: *slaps Peach aside* He's my hero!
-
Announcer: Now what's this? *Mario, as a blue star (the hottest kind), flies down and obliterates Link, Peach, and Zelda, who are know piles of molten slag* Whoa, this is a fight!
-
Mario: *sees Peach's molten body* Son of a *****!
-
Zelda: You did it!
Mario: No, I didn't!
Link: Yes, you did because you were the hottest star!
Zelda and Mario: *stare at Link*..........
Link: NOT LIKE THAT!
Zelda: *still staring*
Peach: WHO HIT ME ON MY HEAD!?!??!
-
Link and Zelda point at Mario, and Mario points at Link. Peach is fuming in anime rage with a face redder than Mario's hat.
Mario: That's it! I refuse to be the center of any more of these-a kind a-fights! Screw you guys. I'm-a goin' home! *does Cartman thing and leaves arena*
-
Ness: Oh look. Captain Wuss-tendo is leaving!
Mario (turns around.): That's-a it! *beats the goo out of Ness*
25 minutes later...
Mario: Okay, now I'm-a leaving!
Ness is on the ground, bloodied and almost...not alive.
Kirby: Wow, since when has Super Smash brothers turned into DeathMatch Mania?
Dedede: I don't know, all I know is that I am the greatest ever!
Kirby: Shut up, DDD! *suddenly becomes Fighter Kirby and suplexes Dedede from his warpstar from about 25 feet in the air.* I love this sport!
-
Peach and Zelda: *does a victory dance with Zelda* Uh huh! Mario is gone! He can do no more harm! Waaa-hooo!
Link: *sigh*
-
mysterious voice: That's what you think! *portly shadow dude jumps in and throws dark fireballs at everyone* Nyeh-heheheheh!
Bowser: Cut it, Junior. We all know it's you.
voice: Aww rats! *shadow dude transforms into Bowser Jr.*
Luigi: I didn't know! I was stuck with that mad scientist during that adventure!
-
And then, everyone just kept a strangely awkward silence for the next 2 hours at the sight of Wario making his entrance in a pair of shorts and a tight t-shirt.
Mario finally broke the silence.
Mario: Aaaugh! *averts eyes.*
Wario: These were the only clean clothes that I had. See, I woke up at about 10 minutes before the event started. So, I was in a hurry. *Stops when everybody keeps staring at him* Oh forget it! It's like I'm speaking Chinese! Just for your impolite stares, I will accept a challenge from any of you who wish to be destroyed in a steel cage match!
Mario: No thanks, I'm leaving! Must wash eyes!
Luigi: You're on!
-
Peach: I'd help Luigi, but my eyes are burning from the sight.
Zelda: Yeah, I'm going with Peach.
Link: *going crazy and rubbing his eys that are streaming with tears* MY EYES! MY EYES!
-
Everyone except Luigi back away covering their eyes.
Wario: You're all cowards except Luigi, who proved his-a bravery in that mansion!
Mario: Coward?! *jumps in beside Luigi* We'll show you.
Luigi: We? *happy tear*
Mario: Of course. There've been times when we'd be doomed without each other!
Luigi: *wipes tear and regains determined face* I won't let you down!
Mario: Neither will I.
Wario: Enough with brotherly love and-a fight me!
-
Wario: *throwing the first punch.* I was given the greatest power at birth. Unrivaled strength!
*Mario dodges and parries with light but quick jabs to Wario's face.*
Mario: I may not be the fastest guy around, but I'm still faster than you!
*Wario steps back, while Luigi moves behind. Luigi sweeps the floor and trips Wario up. Instead of falling flat on his rump, Wario pounds the ground with his fists.*
Luigi: Mama-Mia! What's-a goin' on?
Mario: Wario's causing an earthquake! Move out of the way!
*The two try to move, but the shockwave was too great.*
Luigi:Ughhh!
Mario: Stay calm, the fight isn't over yet!
*The whole steel cage shock with Wario's might*
Luigi: Look out, the cage is falling apart!
*The cage falls, and hits Wario on the head.*
Mario: Is it over?
Wario: *with dazed look in his eyes.* Ughhhh...... I have a suprise for you.........You may be faster than me, but no one can beat HIS speed!
*The walls explode, and a figure moves in.*
Mario: It can't be! You!
-
Mario: Sonic the Hedgehog!
Sonic: That's correct!
Yoshi: Oh woop de do.
Meanwhile, Toad was off doing his grocery shopping. He suddenly noticed a, (actually, I should save that for Revenge of Luigi.) giant bug. He proceeded to try to kill the bug, only to discover that it transformed into a giant chain chomp upon approach. His cries of "Look! A Chain Chomp!" were never answered because he had cried wolf too many times. And so he died...a horrible, bloodlinessent, fangoriously, nefarious, goryishius, death.
Mario: Meanwhile, back at the stadium...
-
Sonic ran circles around the bros. till Bowser stepped up and put his foot in the blue hedgehog's path. Sonic tripped and skidded into a building which collapsed on him.
-
Amy: Sonic! NOOO!
Mario: What is this, a crossover?
Luigi: It's beginning to look like it...
Amy: You're going down, Bowser!
Bowser: Yeah, right. *Laughs*
*Amy grabs her hammer, and hits Bowser, who retaliates with Whirling Fortress*
Wario: Hey! We were fighting here!
Mario: Nah, this is way more interesting.
-
Peach and Zelda: *come back from shopping* WHAT THA?? *drop their frappachinos*
Peach: Whoa, guys. Like, what's with the serious crossovers?
Zelda: Even though I'm a crossover, I'm in the game, but Sonic and friends aren't.
Sonic: Are you saying we can't FIGHT!?!?
Peach: She didn't say tha-
Zelda: *cutting Peach off* YOU WANNA FIGHT!!? HUH?
Sonic: Bring it on, sister!
Zelda and Sonic:*fighting*
Peach: Oh God...
-
Fox: I thought you were a crossdresser, Zelda.
Zelda: Keep your mouth shut if you want to live!
The Mushroom Mage appears.
Mario: Hey, Mage, should-a we kick the Sonic gang out?
Luigi: They don't even appear in this-a game.
TMM: Let them join the fight. I've seen so many Mario Sonic crossovers on the Internet that I don't see much harm.
Mario: But what would Master Hand think of this?
TMM: >:) Already taken care of.
Elsewhere a disabled Master Hand lies growling.
-
Pikachu: Pi-kachu! *zaps a buch of random people*
-
Then, a massive lightning strike struck the SSB plaza.
Zelda: That was cool. Back to action! *keeps fighting Sonic, much to Peach's dismay.*
-
Peach: *sigh* Will you all ever stop?
Suddenly, Krystal (StarFox o_0) punches Peach in the face.
Peach: IT'S ON GIRL!
-
Link: I think we're going a bit overboard with the crossovers. :/
-
*someone throws a Pokeball and Celebi pops out* Celebi: Umm... why am I here?!?! *dissappears*
-
Peach: Awwww! Pokemon are so cute! I want Pikachu!
Ash: He's mine, Peach. You can't have him.
Peach: *threatens Ash with a parasol* Give me the pokemon.
-
Pikachu: Pika! *zaps both of them*
-
Peach was burned crisp, but Ash hardly had a scratch on him.
Ash: Pikachu, you'd think after zapping me so many times, I'd be used to your electric attacks.
Pikachu: Pi! *slaps head* (Translation: Duh!)
-
Misty: Go, Starmie! *Throws Pokeball*
Mario: Ack, I'm sick of this crossover! Nearly everyone here has a Pokemon!
Ness: I wanna join in!
Misty: Do you even have a Pokemon?
Ness: Yep! Go, Magikarp! *Throws Pokeball*
Ash: AHAHAHA!
Wario: ROFL!
Ness: Magikarp, Hydro Pump!
Bob the Magical Pokedex: Magikarp and Hydro Pump are not compatible.
Ness: Surf!
Bob the Magical Pokedex: Magikarp and Surf are not compatible.
Ness: Slam?! -_-
Bob the Magical Pokedex: Magikarp and Slam are not compatible.
Mario: *laughing* Try Hyper Beam, loser!
Ness: >_< Hyper Beam, then...
*Everyone gets blasted with Hyper Beam*
-
Everyone glares at Mario.
Peach: *cough* He better not-
Mario: Now raise it so it'll evolve into Gyarados.
Peach & Luigi: Doh!
Luigi rushes to his older brother and starts shaking him by the overalls.
Luigi: Can't you keep your fat-a mouth shut for one a-minute?
Luigi keeps shaking his brother till buttons on Mario's overalls snap apart.
Mario: (glaring up at Luigi while trying to hold his overalls up) I'll deal with you later! (leaves)
Wario: You know, I'm-a really glad he was a-wearing that-a-shirt.
-
Zelda: And were really glad you are wearing *cough* clothes *hack* now.
-
Wario: What's-a that a-supposed ta mean, missy? *flexes biceps*
Waluigi: They mean you're even more of an ostaf than Mario!
Wario: ???
-
Peach: Even more of a teacher?
Wario: A'wat?
Peach: Ostaf is teacher in arabic.
Waluigi: How would you know?
Peach: I'm intelligent and you guys know what?
Waluigi and Wario: What?
Peach: You guys aren't. *laughs and squeals*
-
Zelda: *whispers to Peach* Uh, Peach, try spelling 'ostaf' backwards.
Peach takes some time to think
Peach: Oh! Yeah, that I can't argue with.
-
Peach: That's so totally true.
Wario: What'a are you'a girls talkin about?
Zelda: Oh nothing, just that you are a
Zelda and Peach: A FATSO!!!
Waluigi: Why you little-
Zelda and Peach: AHHHH! *the girls run from the kcits guy*
-
Mario and Link blocked off Waluigi from the girls.
Mario: If you lay one hand on either of them, we'll go old school SSB on your tail!
Link: Don't make me use the Quake Medallion or the Master Sword on you!
Waluigi: All right, Wario! Let's show these two a thing or two or three! We challenge you to a tag team match! If you lose, we get the girls! If we lose, we will wear tight pants for a week!
All: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!
Waluigi: All right, fine. We will wear dresses and makeup for a week!
All: Even worse!
Waluigi: Fine! We will leave SSB for a week!
All: Yay!
Link: It's on!
-
Pikachu: Pii! *zaps Wario and Waluigi from behind*
-
Mario: *finds a Pokeball on the ground* What's-a this? A Japanese doughnut? *opens it and Latios pops out* All right! My turn! *Latios uses hyper beam to blow up the arena, sending everyone to the Game and Watch level* Hey! It's-a raining wrenches, and I'm-a off a-duty!
-
Link: *whispers to Luigi* At least he was able to find some new overalls.
Luigi: *whispers back to Link* Those look a-dirty to me. As if a-those were ones he wore three days in a row.
Link: Eeeeeewwww.
Luigi: I second that.
-
Mew hovers in and uses its psychic powers to pull Wario's and Waluigi's pants down (they're wearing tight pants underneath their regular pants)
Mewtwo: Mew, you prankster! *picks up beam sword* Prepare for a beating!
All exept Mewtwo and the Warios: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!
Wario: Enough with the Star Wars references.
Mario: Get out of here so we can a-see without-a bleeding eyes!
Waluigi: Never!
TMM: I've had enough of this! *poofs the Warios to Earth circa Pikmin era*
-
Fox drops down out of nowhere and says, "If your gonna be Luke, than I'm Han. Right, Falco?"
*Falco walks in with a chewy costume.*
"Ugh, do I have to wear this?" Falco explains that Fox has been watching Star Wars non stop for 49 hours.
Mario: "I've had enough of this Star Wars crap. And Falco, Chewy can only groan!"
Falco: "Oh yeah. Ugwaghhhhhh!"
Meanwhile...........
Wario: "So I get to eat Pikmin now?"
Waluigi: "I think I just stepped on some little guy with a space helmet."
Captain Olimar: "@#$%! You stupid %$&%&!"
Wario Bros.: "What a potty mouth. He used two '&'s' in one word! Now that's bad!"
-
Olimar and his pikmin are poofed to Super Smash Bros.
Mario: What's the space-a man doing here? He's-a not a smasher!
TMM: Not that we know of yet. Master Hand, growth ray!
MH: What are you talking about? I don't have a growth ray.
TMM: THEN GET TO WORK ON MAKING ONE!!!11
Olimar: How did I get here anyway?
TMM: I poofed you here.
Olimar: Any later then that fat*** would've eaten my buddies. I'm very greatful.
Red Pikmin: (Why couldn't my misery had ended there?)
Olimar: But how am I gonna kick the snot out of you guys when you're like 100 times bigger than me and the Pikmin?
TMM: Master Hand's working on a growth ray as we speak.
MH: I am?
TMM: YES YOU ARE!! I can cast a temporary growth spell on you and the Pikmin, Captain. You'll be slightly bigger than Pikachu for one day.
-
Luigi: First the Pokemon were initiated, and now any Tom, Dick and Harry thinks they have what it takes to be a walk-on smasher!
Homer Simpson: Hey! This isn't Comiskey Park!
*Warner siblings crash through the wall*
Wakko: We're here!
Yakko: Wakko, I don't think we're in California anymore!
Wakko/Yakko: *Both notice Peach* Helloooooooo, princess nurse!
Luigi: See what I mean?
-
Suddenly, everyone who ever existed crashed through the walls and demanded to be put into the new Smash Bros.
Mario: I've had just about enough of this............
Pico: Blam teh Mario!111! newgrounds pwns!
Mario: THAT'S IT!!!!!
*Mario charges up a huge fire ball in the palm of his hand. He tosses it into the crowd of people and disintegrates Pico, as well as 2/3 of the world's population. A huge nuclear mushroom cloud created from the blast sends destruction around the Earth/mushroom Kingdom/whatever*
Wario: Geeze, Mario you really need to learn how to control your anger.
*Mario calmly punches Wario's head off*
Wario: What a jerk. That hurt like heck!
-
Random SSB fan: Dang, I was hoping for the cast of Punky Brewster vs the cast of Full House! And now Thomas Edison vs Thomas Jefferson vs Giant Gary Coleman will never happen!
Mario: Thank God you didn't work on this game! Those are worse ideas than a game with a goomba as the hero!
Luigi: Or the next Mario Party!
Sonic: Or a sequel to Shadow The Hedgehog!
Mario: Or that horrible revival of "Get Smart!"
Waluigi: I don't know, I kinda wanted to see Giant Gary Coleman fight Giant Todd Bridges.
Donkey Kong: I'm pretty sure no one knows who anybody you just mentioned is.
-
*Everyone who Jman just mentioned actually survived the blast*
Coleman: Yeah! That nuclear blast mutated me! I'm 8 feet tall! Taste my boot, sucka!
*Everyone watched in horror as the boot of Gary cam crashing down on.......................*
(Who is Gary going to squash?)
-
*Gary Coleman lands on Ken, prompting Ryu to launch a Hadouken at him*
Rob-Bert: Last I checked, this was Super Smash Bros., not M.U.G.E.N.
Man-Frog: But I wanted to be in the next fight. :(
Rob-Bert: What the crap are you doing here!?
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Yakko: Song break!
Warners: We're here to smash and also for the cash!
Wakko: I hope that I can smack you good with my hammer bash!
Yakko: My wit of steel will leave you laughing long enough to strike!
Dot: My ultra natural cuteness is a weapon that I like!
Warners: The world of Nintendo is a place we love to be! And we have wanted to fight here since 2000 and 3!
Yakko: Sooooooo, I would like to fight the main man, Mario's his name!
Wakko: I'd like to see if Kirby can beat me at my own game!
Dot: I want to have a cuteness contest with the other girls!
Warners: But everybody knows that she's the cutest in the world! We'd like to smash and bash and crash and wail loud all night long, just give us two more seconds and we'll finish up this song!
-
*Wario looks at Wakko*
Wario: Hey.....he kinda looks like a baby.........COME HERE, I'm gonna eat yeah! I'm higher than you on the food chain! Get in mah bellyyyyyyy! *I want my baby back ribs.* *smack!*
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Pit: I'm here to rid you all of the evil crossovers!
Wario: Who are you?
TP Link: That's Pit.
Mario: Who'a are you?
TP: I'm Link. Remembers? Termina Bay?
Wario: Link wears tight white stockings!
TP Link: Hey! Watch it fatso!
Zelda: Revival of the ostaf.
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Mattie the Little Flame: You know, maybe we could join in the fight Rob.
Rob-Bert: I refuse to join in the fighting until the creator of the thread changes the name of the thread. Especially since I initially came here to see Mario and Link duke it out. Not see a bunch of folks from all over everywhere invade the stadium.
Mattie the Little Flame: That and you can't fight to save your life.
Rob-Bert: >:(
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TMM: Will everyone, except me and Giant Gary Coleman, who has never appeared on a Nintendo console game, please leave the arena?!
-
Mario: I can take care of everyone else.
*Mario charges up another nuclear fireball*
Luigi: W-wait! Mario, stop! Go throw that somewhere else!
Mario: Whatever.
*Mario tosses it towards outer space. It gets close to hitting a nearby planet with Kinnikuman's face on it*
Kinnikuman: What the..........I'm gonna go kill the person that almost blew up my home!
*Kinnikuman flies to Earth*
Kinnikuman: Who's the bozo that threw that fireball thingy at my planet just now*
*Mario points to Waluigi, who is sitting in the corner eating chips*
Kinnikuman: Gagh! Prepare to die, evil-doer!
*Kinnikuman breaks Waluigi in half. He salutes Marioand flies home*
Mario: Errrr......okay! Time for the Gary Coleman match!
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*in the audience*
Rob: I just don't get why they still insist on calling it "Super Smash Bros." if there aren't even Nintnendo characters in the ring.
Mattie: Well, "Super Smash Bros." can mean anything.
Rob: Not if that name is owned by Nintendo themselves.
Fuzzle: Will you both shut up? I'm trying to watch Gary get his arse handed to him!
-
Yakko: Well, I guess this is it! Good night everybody!
Wakko: But there's still...
Yakko: Oh wait! We still need to consult the Wheel of Morality! Wheel of Morality, turn turn turn. Tell us the lesson that we should learn.
*Wheel of Morality lands on 128*
Yakko: And the moral is...Never go in the bathroom after Wario! Oh boy, I'll say!
Wakko: I can't even stomach that!
Dot: *baseball heckler impression* Hey you! Yeah you! You swing that hammer like my stepdad's brother's grandmother's daughter's cousin!
-
Rob: They still haven't changed the name of the topic. Screw this!
*Rob heads off to the Pointless Topic to speak with the Fungi Forumers*
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Link: This is worse than the whole cheesy soap opera and fake Italian accents!
-
Bowser: Can we solve this problem before my TV show comes on?
Mario: Sure! *throws mega fireball of doom at Bowser.*
Yakko:*singing* Now it's time, yes time for Gary Coleman, to fight the Mushroom Mage!
Wakko: Hellooooooooooooooo Mage!
Yakko: *singing* Let's hope, yes hope, to the highest power, that gary doesn't kill us all due to his unbridaled rage!
Announcer: And now, it is time to begin the match! In this corner...obviously caused by a terrible chemistry accident, Giant Gary Coleman! And in the other corner, Giant the Mushroom Mage! Now, llllllet's get ready to rumble!!!!
*Welcome To The Jungle begins playing for a prematch warmup.*
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*Rob pushes the Announcer aside*
Rob: Move over n00b, I'll show how a real SSB announcer announces. Ladies and Gentleman, Boys and Girls, Democrats and Republicans, welcome to...
SUPER
SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH
BROTHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERS!!!!!!!!!
For our first match-up of the night, we have the non-Nintendo, genetically altered actor, GIANT GARY COLMAN, versus the Nintendo-related, but still fan-made, THE MUSHROOM MAGE!!!
Who will win this not-so-great battle? I have no idea!! Just sit back and enjoy the fight, folks!!
*The fighters enter the arena via that fancy trophy teleporter thing*
READY!?
GO!!
*Giant Gary Coleman and The Mushroom Mage begin to duke it out, good old-fashioned Smash-style*
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Mage uses a disabling spell on GGC (Giant Gary Coleman)
GGC: What trickery is this?
Mage: One of my Smash Bros. moves. *Mage uses grab move on GGC and tosses him backward. He so big that he didn't fly very far, but he did get some damage Right when GGC was about to ram Mage, Mage threw a poison mushroom into his mouth, and GGC shrunk to normal size*
GC (Gary Coleman, not Gamecube): Holy Mother@#%&in' $#%&!
Mage: Watch your language! This is Super Smash Brothers, not the toilet convention!
Mario: Toilet convention? Where?
-
Rob: It appears that Coleman has been deprived of is Giant-ness,. I can see where this match is going...
-
Yakko(has taken a seat in the broadcast booth): You're telling me, Rob! Look at Mage absolutley dominate! Wait, what's this? It seems we all forgot that poison mushrooms are only temporary! Dear gosh, does this mean that Gary Coleman is a giant forever?
*Bowser is watching on TV at home in a body cast*
Bowser: These guys suck! Bring back Cranky and Diddy Kong! Oh how I long for the days when I was the GM of SSB Live!
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Mage: Only for now will he remain giant, Yakko. Unless Master Hand has completed his shrink ray.
MH: Uh, yeah. About that....
Mage: Wha-*GGC punches Mage*
Rob: Oooh! How far can a mage fly? Oh, she has found her bearings. She's using her third jump move. Ooooh!!! Just grabbed the edge, and climbing back onto the main platform! What's this? She has thrown a mini-shroom! Coleman has gone even tinier!
-
Rob: Looks like Coleman is about to get clobbered. I'm on the edge of my seat!
-
Peach: Who's Coleman?
EVERYONE: YOU DON'T KNOW WHO COLEMAN IS?!
Peach: No...go Mage!
-
Wow, I thought I killed this topic with my endless Animaniacs references. No wait, that was "things the Mario characters would never say."
-
Nah. The crossovers killed this topic.
-
Yeah, it's SSB, not Everything vs. Everything. I tried to make that apparent when I added Rob to the story, which I sort of regret.
What? Do I offend?
No, it's just that you don't belong in SSB.
Oh, right.
-
No wait, that was "things the Mario characters would never say."
That topic is still going, I think.
-
A giant meteor crashed into the arena, killing every non-Nintendo character except the Mushroom Mage, who teleported out of the story, Solid Snake because he's a SSBB newcomer, and Sonic due to popularity. Basically, the only non-smasher characters that are left are popular newcomer smasher candidates, such as Olimar and the Baby Mario Bros. Oh, and Fawful was spared as well, due to his mustardy awesomeness.
-
So the current roster for the Nintendo All-Star Smash Bros. Battle 3000 was as follows:
1. Mario
2. Luigi
3. Peach
4. Bowser
5. Yoshi
6. Donkey Kong
7. Link
8. Samus
9. Kirby
10. Fox McCloud
11. Pikachu
12. Jigglypuff
13. Mewtwo
15. Sigurd (from Fire Emblem 4)
16. Captain Falcon
17. Ness
18. Pit
19. Wario
20. Diddy Kong
21. Zelda
22. Ganondorf
23. Ridley
24. Falco Lombardi
25. Wolf O'Donnel
26. Pichu
37. Marth
28. Samurai Goroh
29. Lucas (from Mother 3)
30. Flint (from Mother 3)
31. Balloon Fighter
32. Mach Rider
33. Ice Climber
34. Game + Watch
35. Toad
36. Dixie Kong
37. Kiddy Kong
38. Tingle
39. Meta Knight
40. King DeDeDe
41. Plusle + Minun
42. Deoxys
43. Munchlax
44. Lukario
45. Ike
46. Takamaru (from Nazo no Murasame)
47. Little Mac (from Punch Out!!)
48. Lolo (from the Adventures of Lolo)
49. Sukapon (from Joy Mecha Fight)
50. Demieru (from Tomato Adventure)
51. Muddy Mole (from Mole Mania)
52. Tom Nook
53. Starfy
54. Lip (from Panel de Pon)
55. Mike Jones (from Star Tropics)
56. Hakkun (from Sutte Hakkun)
57. Solid Snake
58. Sonic the Hedgehog
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And half were murdered at the pre-game show because of a freak daredevil accident.
-
Fortunately Master Hand was around and he brought them back to life because you can't actually die in the SSB Tournament, and there wasn't supposed to be any pre-game show, it turned out that it was just SushieBoy trying to ruin the story,.
-
Then Little Mac began to train to the Rocky theme song.
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"Haha, I can finally exact my revenge on you, Star Fox," Wolf sneered, pulling out a bigger laser than Fox's.
-
We have to murder more characters. That's to many for the game.
-
"And sooo like, why am I here?" Lip shrugged, "I have much better things to do than this, oh my god, like, let's get some shoes!"
(Seriously, why is Lip here?)
-
Then the first battle started. It took place atop the Great Fox, and had 29 of the contestants at once. Fox exclaimed, "Oh my god, that's not an Arwing! RUN!" and everybody ran off the edge of the ship except him. "Mwahahahaha! You all fell for it!" laughed Fox. Then everybody else respawned at once, and teamed up to beat up Fox. "Uh-oh..." he said. Then a Snorlax came crashing down on the Great Fox, and everybody lost another life, and the stage was totally demolished, so everybody respawned onto air. Ultimately, Fox won the battle, but was severely berated for getting the ship destroyed, and was kicked out of the tournament for saying something other than one of his ordinary phrases.
-
So the remaining challengers for Round 2 were as follows:
1. Mario
2. Peach
3. Yoshi
4. Donkey Kong
5. Link
6. Kirby
7. Mewtwo
8. Captain Falcon
9. Pit
10. Diddy Kong
11. Ganondorf
12. Falco Lombardi
13. Pichu
14. Samurai Goroh
15. Flint (from Mother 3)
16. Mach Rider
17. Game + Watch
18. Dixie Kong
19. Tingle
20. King DeDeDe
21. Deoxys
22. Lukario
23. Takamaru (from Nazo no Murasame)
24. Lolo (from the Adventures of Lolo)
25. Demieru (from Tomato Adventure)
26. Tom Nook
27. Lip (from Panel de Pon)
28. Hakkun (from Sutte Hakkun)
29. Sonic the Hedgehog
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Cranky: 29...yeah, that sounds about right! Now let's smash until we can't smash no more! Murder! Blood, Gore...I mean, fight!
-
The first match-up:
Samurai Goroh VS. Mach Rider
Ready.... GO!
-
*In the crowd*
"BOOO!" The Crowd yelled,
"Yeah!" Sonic Declared, "Get outta' here, Goroh! You barely qualify as a main character!"
Goroh was enraged.
"Grrrr" He Growled, "I SHOW YOU!!! I'LL SHOW YOU ALL!!!"
He hacked and slashed through Mach Rider with his sword, destroying him instantly.
Mach Rider, lost!
Next Mach (pun intended) Mario VS Sonic!!!
Arena: Green hill/ TMK Combo.
The Match Begins with Mario emerging from a pipe, then Sonic appearing from the distance.
"So Mario, we meet again!" Sonic sneered.
"Yes! I feel like something out of NewGrounds!" He said.
Sonic used his homing attack to bombard Mario into a wall, Mario landed on the grass with a thud, he quickly got up and dashed up to Sonic, giving him a left jab an then a Super Jump Punch, Rings went sailing through the air, he landed on a nearby platform, that'a when Mario jumped into it from below, shaking sonic off and onto the ground, Then Tails came flying by, carrying a invincibility item.
"Sonic!" he cried, approaching Sonic, ready to deliver the goods. That's when Mario barged in, intercepting in tails' path, punch him in the face.
"Ow!" Tails Squeeled, as he flew off-screen, Mario then greedily got ahold of the item himself, he powered up to Caped Mario!
"this can't be good," Sonic muttered as he stumbled to his feet.
Mario then circumnavigated the arena, slamming his fist into Sonic's stomach with each lap, he then flew high into the air, then crashing down on poor Sonic, the power was so strong that they both crashed through the floor and landed in an underground cave area. Just as the smoke cleared, Sonic kicked Mario his body, he then stammered to his feet.
"You're tougher than I thought!" He snickered, "Guess I have no choice!"
He Flashed with bright lights, blazing golden shockwaves shook the walls, after a while, he was visible, Sonic had transformed to Super Sonic!!
To be continued..
-
Good! :)
-
Waddaya mean "good"? You're supposed to add to the fanfic yourself! Haven't you realized that one-word posts are worthless? Don't gimme any of that ":S" crap either. Greater Than Colon Parenthesis
-
Oh yeah, I remember this, uhhh.
Super Sonic flashes back into Sonic, and walks over to Mario.
"We shouldn't fight man!" Sonic replied, giving Mario a helping hand.
"Yeah" Mario continued, "We are only doing this because these Internet geeks can't get over the ole' 90's rivalry!"
"Let's never fight again, buddy!" Mario said truthfully. the two holded hands and walked off into the sunset, giggling with glee.
The End.
-
Announcer Rob: It would appear that both contenders have agreed to let the match end in a draw! That means both are eliminated.
Current Contenders:
1. Peach
2. Yoshi
3. Donkey Kong
4. Link
5. Kirby
6. Mewtwo
7. Captain Falcon
8. Pit
9. Diddy Kong
10. Ganondorf
11. Falco Lombardi
12. Pichu
13. Samurai Goroh
14. Flint (from Mother 3)
15. Game + Watch
16. Dixie Kong
17. Tingle
18. King DeDeDe
19. Deoxys
20. Lukario
22. Takamaru (from Nazo no Murasame)
23. Lolo (from the Adventures of Lolo)
24. Demieru (from Tomato Adventure)
25. Tom Nook
26. Lip (from Panel de Pon)
27. Hakkun (from Sutte Hakkun)
Looks like the current roster is uneven, that means that one contender, chosen backstage at random, will be pulled out until the finals for a special match-up.
Now, our next match is...
Peach vs. Hakkun!!
-
And later tonight...our main event! A triple threat to determine the world heavyweight champion with chairs, beam swords, and whatever the audience throws onto the floor...actually, nevermind. The fight shall go on as scheduled.
Dedede: Thank goodness! I never could stand the fakeness of that SSB Live!