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Author Topic: Your Favorite Joke  (Read 86022 times)

megamush

  • Infinite member error
« Reply #15 on: January 08, 2008, 04:02:20 PM »
do you mind if I tell that one to everyone I know...
What ever you do don't press Ctrl-W

MaxVance

  • Vance Vance Revolution
« Reply #16 on: January 08, 2008, 04:06:52 PM »
What did the leper say to the prostitute?

Keep the tip.
I actually thought about telling that one.
Remember that your first Goomba boldly you walk? When Mario touched that mushroom being brought up more largely remember that you are surprised? Miscalculate your jump that pit remember that it falls?

« Reply #17 on: January 08, 2008, 07:28:05 PM »
This thread is making me remember tons of long-forgotten jokes from my past just by stimulating my brain to think about jokes. Example:


Two hunters go out hunting and shoot a deer. They're driving back home and one says, "Pull over, feels like I gotta crap my guts out." They pull over and the guy runs off into the bushes to do his business. The driver is sitting there waiting and gets an idea. He goes and gets the guts out of the deer in back, sneaks up to the pooping guy, and lays the guts there and runs off.

Just as he's getting back to the truck, he hears a terrible scream of horror from the bushes. The guy laughs to himself and waits. After a few minutes, the pooper comes back. "Well did you crap your guts out?" the driver asks?

"Yeah! But with the help of this here stick, I got 'em back in!"

N64 Chick

  • one ticked chick
« Reply #18 on: January 08, 2008, 09:14:51 PM »
What do you get when you put Mario under a Thwomp?

A plumber pancake.

I'm just kidding, folks. Here's the real joke.

Three guys heard about a magic cliff that if you jump off it and shout what you want to be, you turn into it. So all three took a helicopter and flew to the cliff. The first guy jumps and shouts "I wanna be a eagle!" Poof! He turns into an eagle and flies away. The second guy jumps and shouts "I wanna be a vulture!" Poof! He turns into a vulture and flies away. The third guy slips and yells "Oh crap!" Poof! He turns into a pile of crap and falls to the ground.
Fangirling over Luigi since 1999.

« Reply #19 on: January 08, 2008, 09:40:53 PM »
What do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft?

Ab Minor                                                     

Suffix

  • Steamed
« Reply #20 on: January 09, 2008, 02:43:18 AM »
Hahahaha, I like that one, Bobman.

Now, to set this joke up, I have to tell a little bit of back story. Our family, after skiing, went to a completely new pizzeria in Kelso. We still looked somewhat messy from skiing, but my mom suddenly got it into her head that I appeared to have a receding hairline. Despite my best efforts, her crazy idea could not be swayed. An elderly woman nearby overheard her and tried to console me with this joke:

(accumulate the lines one line at a time)
Don't worry!
A man who balds in the front is a lover,
A man who balds in the back is a thinker,
And a man who's completely bald just thinks he's a lover.

Linkin800

  • Choppy words and a sloppy flow
« Reply #21 on: January 14, 2008, 03:18:04 PM »
This one is sorta inappropriate but ill just remove the message if someone thinks its to offensive.

Why did Michal Jackson go to Old Navy?

Because boys pants were half off!
Time is repeating itself. Why you say? Look at the Wii and NES and you'll know why.

« Reply #22 on: January 14, 2008, 04:33:24 PM »
Not offensive, just REALLY old.

More than 10 years older than the recent lawsuit involving him.
"Be yourself. Everyone else is taken."

« Reply #23 on: January 14, 2008, 06:42:37 PM »
Aye, me favorite joke be this one:

Why couldn't the pirate get into the movie? It was rated ARGHHHH!

Makes me laugh every time, it does!
Luigison: Question everything!
Me: Why?

Chupperson Weird

  • Not interested.
« Reply #24 on: January 14, 2008, 06:43:47 PM »
My mind automatically inserts a GH noise when people spell ARRRR with GH on the end. Hence: Rated arg? What?
P.S. Why would that make the pirate unable to see it?
That was a joke.

« Reply #25 on: January 14, 2008, 06:50:48 PM »
Why was the movie rated ARRR?

BECAUSE OF ALL THE BOOTY                                                                                           

Chupperson Weird

  • Not interested.
« Reply #26 on: January 14, 2008, 07:19:17 PM »
That's a 45x better joke right there.
That was a joke.

« Reply #27 on: January 14, 2008, 08:38:26 PM »
I got a joke that's kinda long, but I'm gonna tell it anyways. It goes like this:

In the mid 1850's there was a wooden warship out sailing. One day, the guy in the crow's nest spots an enemy ship and he runs to tell the captain. He says, "Captain I have spotted an enemy ship". Captain looks at him and says, "Bring me my red shirt" The guy goes and gets the shirt and gives it to the captain. Captain puts the shirt on, and they fight all day and don't loose a single man. At the end of the day the guy says, "Captain before the battle began you told me to bring you your red shirt. Why?" Captain says, " I told you to bring me it that way if i were shot no one would notice I were bleeding and they would continue fighting". So the next the guy spots 20 ships coming and he runs to tell the captain. The captain looks at him and says, "Bring me my brown pants".
I see poop.

TEM

  • THE SOVIET'S MOST DANGEROUS PUZZLE.
« Reply #28 on: January 14, 2008, 08:51:50 PM »
That joke is from around the mid 1850s.
0000

« Reply #29 on: January 15, 2008, 12:12:16 AM »
I had never heard it!

Kinda like it.

Also I like how your sig at the end adds to it. Like a coda.

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