Fungi Forums
Miscellaneous => Fan Creations => Topic started by: PaperLuigi on April 14, 2007, 06:37:49 PM
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Chapter one
One day, if for no reason at all, Wario jumped out of his castle and brushed his armpits.
"Ah, it's so great that I don't have to get two brushes for my pits and my teeth! I wonder why other people don't use one brush to brush them both?"
Waluigi came out from the darkness of his brother's home and stared at the sun. His eyes burned with every minute he continued to look. He brushed the sleep from his eyes and smacked his brow.
"What an idiot," he sneered. "Why am I forced to live with that guy?"
Wario turned around and noticed the name carved into the brush he was using to clean his pits. Even though he couldn't read, he still recognized the name.
"Oops! This isn't mine! It's yours, Waluigi! Here ya go," Wario said with a smile.
Waluigi pulled a hair from the gap in his two front teeth. "Of course......."
Wario stared at his brother confused. "Well, aren't ya gonna yell and scream at me? You always do that when I touch yer stuff!"
"Wario," said Waluigi, "I've stopped caring for all the crap you put me through each day. I'm moving out of here this instant and living my life alone."
Waluigi went inside and ran up stairs, grumbling to himself the whole time. He opened the door, tossed his clothing into a strange bag and slowly climbed back down. He noticed Wario was drooling all over himself.
"Oh yeah. He forgets how to breath if I'm not around to tell him." He took a few more steps away.
"..........this might come back to haunt me.........but what the heck? I've had enough anyway."
Waluigi left the perimeter of Wario's castle, and kept on walking. He didn't care where he was going, he just wanted out.
Wario was left with a blank look on his face. Lord knows if he knew what had happened at that moment.
"I-I......egh.........ugh.........." was all he could say. Just then, he sprang right up off the ground and raised his right hand which held the brush.
"Ah, it's so great that I don't have to get two brushes for my pits and my teeth! I wonder why other people don't use one brush to brush them both?" Wario began to brush his pits as if he had forgotten that Waluigi had left.
"Waluigi! Waluigi? Where are ya, buddy?" Wario searched up and down his castle looking for Waluigi, but he couldn't seem to locate his brother. Just when he was about to give up hope, Wario found a note, hanging from the fridge. It said:
"Dear Wario,
I know these past years have been some of the best of your life, and you may feel that you and I share a bond that only true brothers could ever hold. Well we don't. I hate you with every follicle of my being. You eat my food, steal my stuff and drive me crazy. I think it's time that we go our seperate ways and live seperate lives. Yes, you may feel sad, but trust me........with your memory, you should forget this ever happened in about.......I dunno, mabey 3 seconds? I bid you adieu, dear brother and...........wait a second, you can't even read! I've waisted nearly 3 minutes of my life writing this letter. Well, whatever. You might die soon because I think you don't remember how to breathe unless I'm there to tell you. See you in the next life, sucker! -Waluigi."
Wario stared at the letter.
"I'm hungry," he said and threw the letter in the garbage can.
"What is there to eat? Oh, I know! I know! Burgers! Wait, where are the burgers? Hey Waluigi, can you help me find the burgers? Waluigi? Waluigi?"
Will Wario ever find his burgers? What will he use to cook them with? Will he forget how to breathe? You'll just have to keep reading!
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You're obsessed with jokes about Wario's stupidity and eating habits aren't you?
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Oh yeah. :D
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If that's all this fic will be made up of then I don't care for it. There's more to Wario than just that.
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Um, okay. You don't have to read it.
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Oh, come on. I thought it was hillarious! Wario's stupidity was really overexaggerated, but that just adds to the hillariousness. Keep it up.
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Um... what?
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"Um......what" to my story, or Kojinka's comment?
Anyway, to those who are still reading, I should have the 2nd chapter up by Monday. I've already written half of it (the chapter, I mean).
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I like overexaggerated stupidity in the stories I read, especially when Wario is the source. Keep up t3h good work. :D
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Chapter 2:
Wario finally found the burgers after about an hour of searching for his missing brother.
"Ah, here you are Waluigi! I found you!" He hugged the bag of burger meat with all of his might. Eventually, the bag exploded, with meat flying everywhere.
"Waluigi?" Wario looked at the busted bag. "N-no...............I broke you! WAAAAAAAGHHHHHHH!!!" Wario could be heard from across the neighborhood, where Mario and Luigi were staying. The cries nearly broke the windows of Mario's home.
"Mama Mia! What's wrong with him now?" Mario stood up from where he was sitting and slammed the front door off of it's hinges.
"Mario," explained Luigi, " you can't just bust down the door whenever you're angry, you know? Now I'm gonna have to pay another hundered thirty to get it fixed."
"Forget that, Luigi, the big oaf just won't shut up!" Luigi slapped his brow and sighed. "Man, why am I forced to live with that guy?"
"Because I pay the bills," Mario replied. Luigi realized that he had spoken outloud and tried to apologize before Mario bonked him over the head, but he was unsuccessful. A huge, pulsating lump appeared, rising over Luigi's hair.
"Oh-hehe. Right," he grumbled.
Mario and Luigi walked over to Wario's castle, all while trying to drown out the lug's cries with music. Luigi was listening to some psychedelic piece; he danced all over the sidewalk while singing to the beat.
"Oh-oh, baby! Can you feeeeeeel me?........." He paused for a momment and continued. Mario's brain was about to explode from Luigi and Wario's window-shattering sounds. He made some hand gestures at Luigi to try and get him to stop, but to no avail.
"Wha? I can't here you," Luigi would say. This went on for about a minute or so until Mario jerked a hard left at Luigi's tape-recorder.
"Ah man, why'd you have to do that bro?"
Mario grabbed the shattered remains from his brother's hand and reached into his pocket. Mario pulled out a flat device with miniature head-phones attached to the top.
"See this? It's called an I-Pod! Use it!"
Luigi put the the "I-Pod's" head-phones into his ears. He turned it up full blast and turned it on.
"Wait, stop!" Mario was too late to stop his brother from turning it up full blast. The rock-hard sounds of Mario's favorite band, "The Metallic Mushrooms," blew through the ears of Luigi and nearly knocked him out. He fell to his but and sat there, drooling.
"I was gonna say that an I-Pod doesn't need to be turned up full blast like your tape-player does to here it, but it looks like I was too late. How do ya feel, Luigi?"
Mario removed the phones from Luigi's ears, only to find that they were bleeding.
"Wha? I still can't here you bro," Luigi cried.
"Great," said Mario. "Well, not only do I have to stop Wario from crying, but I also have to get your ears checked. Come on, you dork."
Mario pulled Luigi's hand so hard that it almost came out of it's socket. Steam was blowing out of Mario's own ears, he was so angry. The two began walking towards Wario's castle again.
"Hey Mario," explained Luigi. "Wario has stopped crying! Can we go home?"
"That's because you can't here anyth-" Mario paused and stopped in the middle of the road. "He has stopped crying. Mabey he's hurt or something.........I really don't care, but we better check anyway."
Mario smashed the security gate to Wario's castle with his bare hand.
"Yeesh, Mario, are you a professional door hater or something?"
Mario didn't listen to Luigi's crummy comment. He stomped all over Wario's garden patch and punched the grand-master door down with even more might than before.
"Guess that's a yes," said Luigi, who was just about to get his hearing back.
"Waluigi? Waluigi?" Mario cried out. Nothing could be heard in the darkness.
"Let's go home, Mario. I'm tired."
Mario didn't listen and marched straight up to Wario's room.
"Wait, Mario, you don't want to break this door down! I'm serious!"
BAM! The door fell down with one powerful kick.
"Whatever," explained Luigi. "I hope you know that you get money for fixing doors, not breaking them."
The two went into the room and looked around for Wario.
"Ugh..........." someone said from the closet. "H-help.....me......."
Mario ran up to the door and punched it hard, yet this time, it didn't fall down.
"Ha! Guess you've met your match, door hater!" Luigi laughed.
The door slowly opened, and a very grey-looking Wario fell out from the closet. He had meat all over his face and looked as if he was about to die.
"Ooops," said Mario. "Put too much force into that one. Looks like I hit Wario instead."
What in the world has happened to Wario? Stay tuned.......
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This reminds of the other sixty "Wario is Dumb LOL" stories from various ages ago. It's still pretty funny, though.
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Hehe, I think I've written about 5 of those stories............
Spaceship Stupidity, Wario's Sandwich, some parts of Wario's Diary and When Dinosaurs Dream are all stories that involve Wario being about as stupid as a rock.
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"Um......what" to my story, or Kojinka's comment?
Your story. I don't really get it. ^^;
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Hm........I think I can sum it up for ya:
Chapter one involves Wario brushing his armpits with Waluigi's tooth brush. After pulling some of Wario's armpit hair from his teeth, Waluigi leaves Wario for a life of his own. Wario forgets everything that just happened ('cause in my story, he's really dumb). He then goes into his castle to make some hamburgers, but he can't find them, so he asks for Waluigi's help. He doesn't remember (because he's dumb) that Waluigi isn't even in the house anymore, even though Waluigi left him a note explaining why he left. So Wario searches the whole house for Waluigi but can't find him.
That's pretty much chapter one. If you need my to explain 2, then I will. :)
BTW, the story is called Wario's Grill for a reason, we just haven't gotten there yet.
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I think GG is siding with me on this one. ;)
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TC, please, if you don't like the story, leave. I'm not trying to be rude, and I'm all for constructive criticism, it's just so far you've only explained how much you dislike the idea.
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I'm really loving this story! That Door Hating Mario is so funny.
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Normally I don't post in or care about FG&S (it was apparently another "Wario has rocks in his head" story, had to take a look for old times' sake) but MAN The Chef, do you do anything but bash people? Really, if you don't like the thread, leave it and quit whining. Sure it's been done before, but... it's the same with all types of media. Songs, movies, books, video games, if it's been done it'll be done again. Chill OUT.
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"Waluigi?" Wario looked at the busted bag. "N-no...............I broke you!" That is gold!
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Yeah, I laughed out loud when I read that. Literally. "Door Hater" is also a phrase I shall use for the rest of my life, along with "boobage".
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That last post I made wasn't meant to be anything more than a mere gag. The ":D" should've clued you guys in. :/
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No, the ";)" Let it away....
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Okay, on to the next chapter! I should have it up by tomorrow..........I'm still trying to think of where I should go with this..........and that's all I have to say about that.
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Oh man, the single brush part was the best, in my opinion.
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Yeah, when I read it myself, that made me lol a little.
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I just don't see why people don't use just one brush for both of them.
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Chapter 3:
"Ah...........I think you might have killed him Mario."
Wario's face swelled up 3 sizes past normal. It looked as if he could pop at any minute.
"Mama Mia, the guy smells like raw hamburger meat! What did he-"
Luigi picked up the busted bag of hamburger meat and stared at the expiration date smacked right on the front of the package.
"Best if used by August 13, 1991."
Mario realized that Wario had gotten hungry after crying for an hour or so. He kicked Wario's lifeless body until it turned over to it's side. His overalls had snapped under the extreme pressure; it seemed as if Wario's weight had increased 10 fold since eating the disgusting meal.
"No wonder," Luigi explained. "This meats harder than a rock."
He poked a few leftovers that were still stuck to the bag.
"How can he live this way?" Mario bent down and put his finger againts Wario's neck.
"No pulse. I think we need to get him to a doctor."
Mario pulled Wario's body over his shoulder, stumbling under his huge weight. His I-Pod fell out of his pocket and on to the floor. Just then, Mario got an idea.
"Hehe," he mumbled to himself.
Luigi paced around the hallway of Wario's castle thinking to himself.
"Wonder where Waluigi is," he spoke out loud. "Guess he ran off."
He stepped down the stairs and tapped againts the walls with his fingers.
"This place kinda gives me the creeps. All these paintings............."
A few of them were just crummy renditions of what Wario called art: A photo of his ugly mug tapped over the Mona Lisa, Wario crossing the Delaware, done entirely out of crayon by Wario himself.
"Eghew. He calls that art?"
Luigi took a few more steps down the stairs until he reached the bottom.
"Lots of steps............." he said to himself. Luigi went to the garbage where Waluigi's note lay. He picked it it up out of the mess and read every sentence with clarity. He smirked, disgusted with Waluigi's attitude.
"What a jerk. Does he not know that Wario will die on his own?"
Luigi tossed the letter back into the garbage dump and walked a few steps backwards, as if he was going nowhere for no reason at all. He was in a trance of some sorts.
"Mmm............I guess seeing Wario's lifeless body like that kinda freaked me out. I better go back upstairs to see if he's okay."
Luigi began walking up the stairs again, when all of a sudden, his eye twitched. A bright but small light shone from inside a small crack in the wall.
"Eh? What have we here? I think I could fix this place up a bit and move in..........if Wario dies that is......"
He stared into the crack, yet the light prevented Luigi from seeing much of anything. His pupils shrank and his body jerked back.
"Bah. Forget it."
Luigi turned around, and as fate should have it, a small piece of hamburger meat lay at his feet. The meat was still hard, but slick enough to cause Luigi to loose his balace. His arms flew in all directions in an attempt to keep from falling over, but was in vain. Luigi flew head first into the cracked wall.
"GAGH!" he screamed in terror. The wall, which had been weakened by Lord know what, was crushed under Luigi's weight. Dirt and rocks fell upon Luigi, though not enogh to hurt him. The dust formed from the collision burned his eyes.
"Ow-I gotta get out of here," he cried. "I thought this dump was a castle, not a backwoods shack......"
He cleared the particles from his eyes and rubbed the dirt away so that he could see. The wall had collapsed to reveal a secret room of some sorts.
"Yikes. Since when does Wario ever need to keep secrets?"
He didn't pay attention to the obvious signs of creepiness: webs, insects, cracks and even a few bats. Luigi was still in a trance of some sort, and he didn't care what he had to do to find out more about the room.
"For some reason, I really don't care about the creepiness of this room. Something could lash out and maul me at any given second, but.........eh, who cares?"
Luigi noticed that the bright light he had seen earlier had vanished. The room was nothing but darkness. He walked even further into the passage way, only to find a locked door. A small but noticeable light shine from inside the knob's key-hole.
"Could this be the light? Is this why I'm in such a trance?"
Luigi looked around the room for something he could bust the door down with. A rather large axe slept in the corner of the room. Luigi brushed away the cobwebs and grabbed hold of the axe. With one mighty swing, he broke the lock in two. Luigi grasped the rusty knob with a firm grip................and it crumbled into dust. He pushed the door open and went inside...........
What's past the room Luigi has gone into? Keep reading...........
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Why did Mario use his thumb to check for a pulse? He would've just felt his own pulse.
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Just in case you guys wanna know, there's some what of a secret in the 3rd chapter. Can you guys find it?
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Didn't Wario throw the note away in chapter 1? Or did Luigi throw somthing else away? O.o
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the story is getting better. and mmore stupid. but you should add more characters and make wario try to get a girlfriend, that would be funny
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Dude, it's great that you like the story, but there's no way I'm going to make Wario get a girlfriend.
BTW, I fixed the note thing.
Can you guys find the secret in the third chapter yet? It's not that difficult to find if you know your history.
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I'm almost certain that Mona was hinted to be Wario's girl in WarioWare, but I don't think it's wise to just suggest random junk to add. Let PL continue it the way he wants. It's his story, and although some like myself might find it not-all-that-interesting, he still has the right to write what he wants.
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"Best if used by August 13, 1991."
I think that has somthing to do with the secret... but I'm probably wrong...
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I'm not giving away secrets. The guy who figures it out will get a free, virtual sandwich.
BTW, the next chapter will be...........I dunno, sometime next week. TC, I thought you weren't even reading this.
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Hey, I may not like the style, but someone does, and you're free to write what you want, so long as it doesn't completely lack any sort of talent whatsoever.
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Dude, it's great that you like the story, but there's no way I'm going to make Wario get a girlfriend.
BTW, I fixed the note thing.
Can you guys find the secret in the third chapter yet? It's not that difficult to find if you know your history.
i never said him getting a girlfriend, i meant for wario trying to get a girlfriend and see him do stupid things for them to like him
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Well, I guess I could have Wario do stupid things to try and win Pauline over in Super Mario Future. I need some more humor in that chapter anyway.
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thank you it would have interesting stuff in it if you write it good!
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Well, all I can say... is that this is a pretty good dang story so far... oh and is Super Mario Future some story you're making Kojinka?
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Yeah, but the chapter I was working on started to turn into a bad soap opera. Now, I'd like to just drop the subject and wait for PaperLuigi to continue HIS story.
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I'm still working on chapter 4, so it might be up tomarrow.
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Awww... Well, I can wait... and I'm really trying to find the secret... the virtual sandwich sounds... tasty.
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EDITED.
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Funny story. I like it.
Also, I found the reference in Chapter 3.
"Best if used by August 13, 1991."
Release Data
Super Mario World Nintendo 11/21/90 JP
Super Mario World Nintendo 08/13/91 US
Super Mario World Nintendo 04/11/92 EU
From GameFAQs. What kind of sandwich do I get?
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Aw... I think you found it... Meh... Btw, nice chapter.
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From GameFAQs. What kind of sandwich do I get?
Ham and cheese, 'cause you got it right!
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Mmmm... Ham... and cheese...
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Needed an update:
Guys, I might not be able to post the next chapter for a little while, but that doesn't mean I'm giving up on it. If anyone can give me intelligent (no, "wario needs a girlfriend" is not wha I'm looking for), well thought out ideas for the next chapter, that'd be some help.
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So, you're saying you're making this right off the bat? Didn't make a rough drafts, written on paper? Nothing?
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Um, yes I am. Read some of my previous posts. Most of them say that "the next chapter will be up [insert date here]." The days before that point are planned out with written drafts, etc. I just don't know what to right at this point.
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I could come up with some random stuff you can add.
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I'm open to ideas, my man.
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ah... alrighty. I would give you some if I didn't just wake up. I'm kinda brain-dead >.<
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Wario has a pet flea named Dukar?
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Er... where did you just get that crazy idea? Am I missing somthing?! >.<?
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From drinking too much Squirt.
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Oh... that's why.
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Wario should try bowling with a shot put.
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Hey! You already said that!! In another thread!!
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Wario should try golfing with a bowling ball.
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And break his face? No.
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As if his face wasn't broken already?
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Hrrrmm... Good point!
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Okay guys, I know you've been waiting for me to write the 5th chapter.......and I'll get to that as soon as I rewrite chapter 4. Hopefully today, if I can work fast enough.
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Okay, I'll check Chapter 4 today.
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Dude, I haevn't even rewritten it yet. I really don't feel like finishing it, onky because I've had SO much work to do lately.
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Oh. Alright, I'll check another time ^.^
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Wario should slip on a month old banana peel, then eat it in front of Mario.
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........that's actually a good idea.
Chapter 4 rewrite:
"Now get up, fatso! I haven't got all day!"
Wario heard these boisterous yet familar words come from afar. The blank world he had fallen asleep to was finally disappearing from the perimeter of his own insignificant mind. As his eyes opened, bits and pieces of "sleep" jumped out of where they once lay (his eyelashes, of course), and Wario let out a bellowing scream that echoed it's way into the corridors of the castle. He moved his large body across the floor and pounded the nearby wall with his large fist, as if in a trance; the blubber on his gut shook with every miniscule step he took to stand up. It was an effort Wario would fail at a few times before finally commanding the little legs at the bottom of his "absent" pelvis area to hike up the rest of him up off the ground.
"Ugh........." was all he could say. This "new" world was all a blur to him. Voices in the air whispered into his delicate, pointy ears. The voices touched his face and the only thing he could do was smile.
"Mama........" Wario reached out to grab what he thought was his mother's arm.
The voices were replaced promptly, as if they happened at light speed, by intense screaming.
"GAAAGGGHHHHH!!!!!" Words Wario had never heard before came both from Mario and the rock hard metal music that was blasting into his head.
"Man, do I love metal music....." Mario said with a smile. He didn't actually enjoy metal all that much, but it was great to get a laugh out of Wario, who was dashing around the tiny room like a dog with it's tail on fire. His feet crashed into the floor with a mighty force and ruined the floorboard.
"But if that guy....ever, touches me again claiming that I'm his momma without a mia at the end, I'll shove a few poison mushrooms down his throat to rid him of a few more of his infinite lives he bought with mastercard on ebay!" Mario tried to inform the wall and ever other appliance in the room that he was serious. Wario however, continued to reck havoc by slamming his face into the fridge down stairs; the stairway itself had been destroyed, more or less, by Wario's stomping. Foam (which had come from his crazed mouth, dripped along the bits and pieces that remain. He didn't even seem to notice the huge hole in the wall that had made itself known only to Luigi.......
Eventually Wario sat down on the cold tile floor, with steam coming right out of his ears. His crazed rampage had finally ended, only because he had run out of energy. He looked around the house, noticing the destruction that had been recently caused by his own fury.
"Oh! Waluigi must be doing some renovating!! How nice of him!"
He got up without problem this time and walked over to the huge hole in the wall. Apparently, he had forgotten that he had ever rampaged through his own house.
"I wish he'd let me help him though. He never lets me smash anything......"
Wario took a pair of TNT sticks out of his back pocket (Lord knows how they got there) and pulled a match out of his nose.
"Here's that old match he jammed into my head last Christmas when I ate that stick of cheese. He said I wasn't supposed to consume it, but it looked so good...........it was just sitting there, melting at the diner table......"
He stared at the match (which had been covered in boogers) and the TNT sticks.
"Now what was I supposed to do with these things again? I think it's important, but I'm havin' a hard time thinking.........."
He dropped both the match and the TNT stick into an aged bucket which lay on the floor; a strange, soot-like substance rested at the bottom of the rusted item. Wario sniffed the material and coughed.
"Achoo!" he sneezed. "Achoo!" He picked up some of the "soot" and spread it all over the floor.
"Look at me," he sang. "I'm the fairy princess!" He obviously didn't care that the material was ugly to look at; at this point in time, he had succeeded in spreading the material across the entire castle. Mario peered out of the room and snickered.
"Idiot......."
Wario took a few more TNT sticks out of his pocket; they were in endless supply and spread across the floor just as the soot.
"This is fun! I don't know why I'm doing this, but it sure beats......uh........"
Wario looked at the match and remembered the pain of having it jammed up his noes. His eyes watered at the thought.
"*sniff*.......wonder what I should do with this........"
He put it into his pants pocket and continued to throw the dynamite sticks over the soot. He ran up to his room (where Wario lay) and set a few of 'em down by the window.
"Hey man," he said with glee. "You should try this! It's awesome!"
Mario stared at Wario with a growl.
"How 'bout I sit here and do nothing while you leave for some much needed exercise. If you run from here to the BeanBean Kingdom and back in 5 minutes I'll give you a jawbreaker."
Wario rushed out the door, his stubby legs moving him faster than light.
"Dofus. Now I got the whole house to myself."
Mario looked outside a noticed Luigi sitting on the front porch with metal items spread across the lawn. A huge box had been emptied (the box itself has blown across the road).
"What in the world? What is he up to?"
Mario walked out of Wario's room, I-pod in hand, and noticed the pure destruction that had been caused.
"I hope he doesn't come back......" Mario sighed. "I hope he doesn't come back."
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Ah, alright. Wario is a crazy little dwarf...
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Holy crap, Wario's dumber than Paris Hilton.
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Er, Paris Hilton only acts dumb to get attention. She's actually pretty well-educated.
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Could have fooled me. I hate people who do that. Unless they're part of a comedy act.
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Hey guys, I'll have the next half of the rewrite up soon (I'm still trying to think of what to write). Yes, they'll be delays, but the "old" saying goes, "A delayed game is eventually good. A bad game is bad forever." Okay, this is a fan-fic.......but, you get what I mean.
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Okay, I can wait. (Plays some Super Paper Mario)
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So can I, even though I was busy graduating from high school when that fixed chapter was submitted. :)
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Dang, I've let this go for a week. Just give me a little more time.....
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Alright... *eats some random pie*
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I just caught that mastercard joke. Infinite lives off of eBay. That's just great.
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Another crazy "MasterCard" commercial...
A Wii: 200$
LoZ:TP: 60$
Elebits: 60$
Two Wii-Motes and Nunchucks: 100$
Getting it all for christmas: Priceless
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Wii is actually $250, I believe.
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Hey, Kojinka, what ever happened to your pizza Mario story?
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I just caught that mastercard joke. Infinite lives off of eBay. That's just great.
Yup! I was hoping someone would get that.
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Get what? I don't see what you're talking about! >.<!
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Hey, Kojinka, what ever happened to your pizza Mario story?
Took me a moment to think about what you were talking about. But yeah. It's dead, but I'll find some 1up mushrooms for it.
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*gets some 1-Ups* Uh... too late?
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Nope. :) A new chapter has been added. But keep those 1-ups on hand just in case.
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*eats 1-Ups* Uh... Oops?
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Ah, don't worry about it for now. I graduated from high school this Mothers' Day, so I should have enough time on my hands.
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Come on guys, I know I haven't finished this yet, but that doesn't mean it's a chat room.
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Aw, that's nice. Uh... I'm a ways away from graduating, so I'll be sitting here waiting for it.
Oh, sorry PaperLuigi. I just post in it to keep my position as...
King Of The Fourm Games And Stories!
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Uh, I'd appreciate it if you only posted to comment on my story or to give me ideas. Not trying to be mean or anything.
BTW, chapter four is complete! It's on page 5, ready for reading.
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"Look at me," he sang. "I'm the fairy princess!"
XD
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Haha, funny eh?
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What is Wario planning to do, blow up the house?! (I need one-a those infinate TNT pockets...)
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While TNT is playing on Mario's i-Pod.
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Hahaha. But still, Can't wait what happens next. I'll be waiting for the next chapter nicely. ^.^
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Hey everybody! I've got 1/4 of chapter 5 done. Just wait a day or so, and I'll have it up.
Sorry this is taking so long, but I've got school work and other stuff I have to take care of.
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Wario could appear on television and make a million people die from shock.
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Chapter 5
"Yum! That Jawbreakers gonna taste so good!!"
Wario had actually made it to the BeanBean Kingdom in an impressive 4 minutes, although it seemed extremely unlikely that he'd be able to make the 5 minute limit. All obstacles that he had to face aside, Wario plopped his butt on his own front lawn when the clock struck 3:00, begging for the jawbreaker.
"Mario! Mario? Where's my jawbreaker? I have to eat something with sugar in it every hour on the hour! All the leading experts who write 'Fake Fitness Monthly' say that it's the best way to lose weight!"
Mario crawled out of Wario's dim-lit house to face the eye-splitting sunlight; the heat pierced Mario's skin and caused his entire body to sweat.
"Ugh..........you don't get the jawbreaker, moron! You're five minutes late.........though I wish it where more like 20...."
Wario picked his noes and sniffed his finger, making sure that he didn't miss a scent. I looked around and noticed a very tall, extremely buff man reflected in a broken glass shard.
"Wow, that guy sure is lucky. I bet he get's all the chicks..."
Wario brushed away some of the sweat that had accumulated over the short trip he had taken to the BeanBean kingdom. He moved with agility across the lawn and up the stairs Mario had plopped himself on to rest; his legs moved up the steps in only a few seconds.
"Whoa!" Wario shouted. "That usually takes me 25 minutes and 3 Tylenol pills to do!"
Wario sat next to Mario and stared at the sun. So long that his eyes began to burn with great intensity.
"Dang, I'm trying to remember what Waluigi told me not to do when looking at the sun! Too bad the intense pain is making me forget."
Mario grabbed Wario by the ear and pulled his head down. He let out a great sigh and noticed Luigi was still fiddling with the odd contraption he had pulled out of nowhere. Mario pointed to a mirror at the side of Wario's house and said, "you better go take a look at yourself. I think you'll be pleasantly suprised."
Wario didn't even bother to argue or complain about what Mario had told him to do; he just performed the task as if he was an auto matron. He reached the mirror and his jaw dropped.
Wario's body had been changed into a monster of a man; he had become ripped from the extreme running he had done in so little time. Everything from head to toe, right down to the last cell resting inside of the smallest pimple on Wario's butt had become buff. Every step he took towards the mirror (in astonishment, may I add) screamed "MUSCLE"! 3 teenage women driving across the street crashed into a light pole staring at him.
"See? Even you can be buff if you try hard enough," laughed Mario. "Wario?" Mario stood up, angry that Wario hadn't even answered. "Wario are you listening?"
Wario's dropped jaw formed a smile that reached from ear to ear. He turned to Mario with excitement.
"I have a mustard stain on my shirt!!"
Wario dropped down and shook the earth with his mighty glutes of strength and began licking his overalls, making sure he didn't miss a spot.
Mario's face turned to aggravation. "Too bad he can't exercise his brain, too."
As Wario licked the mustard stain off of his tattered shirt, Mario stared at the work Luigi had performed. He was like a automaton, following all the rules of the instruction book without pausing for a minute.
"This............goes here...........okay..........."
Luigi mumbled as quiet as he could; he didn't want Mario to over-hear his own work.
"I wonder what he's doing," Mario said with a growl. "It's too bad I don't really care."
Wario continued to eat what was left of his t-shirt until it was gone. Nothing remained but the collar. His abs and chest were in full view now. More women from across the street walked over to see what he was up too. After all, the only other men on the street were Mario, Luigi and Yoshi; it wasn't everyday they had the chance to see such a fine specimen of a man.
"Wha? Mario, help me! They're pinching my butt and squeezing my arm! They wanna eat me!!"
"Relax," sighed Mario. "Does it hurt?"
"No, not really" Wario replied.
"Then it's fine."
Mario didn't peep another word. He let the girls jump all over Wario; the victim on the other hand couldn't understand why he had so many females jumping on top of him. Eventually, 20 teenagers had covered Wario screaming the words "Movie" and "Star" without pause in between. Wario couldn't understand what they were talking about, but for some reason, under that breath crushing pile, he felt at ease.
"ZZZZZZZZZZZ............"
Luigi looked over at the chaos and rubbed his hands together.
"Perfect..........test subjects............."
He continued to hammer away at the "machine" (as one would call it; the object began to take shape). The strange contraption began to make equally strange noises. "Plip, Plap".
"Plip". "Plap". The sound continued. Luigi hovered over the machine and rubbed his hands together once more.
"Yes..." he said in a dark, horrific tone. "You'll be ready soon............."
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I can't imagine a trimmed Wario. To me, he's always been a greedy fat[butt]. XD
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EDITED. Fused both chapters.
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Chapter 6
Waluigi stuck his thumb out, waiting to catch a ride from a friendly individual willing to let him tag along. Every car that drove by his standing point passed without even giving a second thought. His overalls were ripped apart, his hat filled with dirt and his face covered in mud.
"Uh..." he said with a growl. "I'm so hungry..."
His body looked as if it was ready to snap. He dropped the bag he was carrying and unzipped it so that he could take out his diet pills. He reached inside and dug around for a few seconds; he pulled out a strange, scarlet colored bottle that read "DIET" on the front. The side of the bottle had information about the pill itself; what it contained, when it was to be used and other assorted bits of info. The sweat that had accumulated on his face dripped down onto the ground as he opened the lid and tossed it aside.
"I must stay skinny or I'll never get that modeling career!"
As he flipped the bottle upside down, bits and pieces of what appeared to be sunflower seeds fell out into Waluigi's hand.
"Gasp!"
His voice echoed across the country, but no one could here, save the birds. They all flew down and picked apart the dirt as they searched for seeds.
"Oh no...don't tell me he was playing with the medicine cabinet again!"
As the day progressed, strange things began to happen to Waluigi's enviroment. The heat waves surrounding the area grew more frequent. The plant life looked dry, and for some reason or another, the temperature was rising. The sun would not retreat; no clouds were present. Waluigi began to sweat more and more until he began to hallucinate. He saw what appeared to be a bearded man in a white robe.
"So...hot...." he said with a gasp. "Who...are you?" Waluigi could not understand why the temp was climbing as fast as it was. The bearded man drew closer and held out his hand.
But Waluigi could only shake his fist in the air; his skinny body collapsed into the ground.
"This is...just like..." He couldn't finish his sentence.
Waluigi felt a cold yet comforting feeling as his body succumb to dehydration. He blanked out as the buzzards gathered around to pick apart his remains.
Meanwhile, Wario (who had obviously taken whatever diet pill Waluigi once had) flexed his ripped abs in front of the ladies. Luigi, who was flipping burgers in the yard, smiled with glee.
"I didn't know Wario had such a high powered grill. I wonder why he had it put away though?"
He called Wario over (who had girls latched on to his arms and legs) for a little chat.
"Say Wario, you think the girls could use a little food? They look hungry."
Wario shook the women off of his body and offered them some meat, which he had pulled out of his back pocket. The girls threw their heads in disgust.
"Eww!" They all shouted at once.
Luigi pointed his finger to the grill in anger.
"No no, you idiot! Not that! This!"
Wario didn't pay attention to Luigi's burgers. He did however, notice the grill.
"Uh, Luigi? Where'd you get this grill?"
Luigi explained to him that he found it at a local store, for fear of Wario finding out that it was his grill.
"Oh, okay. I'm glad you didn't find that in the sealed off walls of my house!" Wario, who had completely forgotten that the so-called "sealed off walls" had been knocked down, didn't give it a second thought.
Luigi shooed Wario away as he flipped more of the patties. They sizzled, filling the air with a delicate aroma. Mario's mouth drooled.
"Luigi's such a bad cook," he thought. "I wonder why those patties look so good. Must be the grill....."
Mario dismissed the idea that Luigi's cooking was so bad that there was no way he could ever hope to grill something; he casually laid back and stared at the sky. He did notice, however, that Wario had a sprinkler system built into the wall on Mario's left.
"Haha," he smiled. "I love these. Luigi and I used to play with them all the time."
Mario opened up the cover to the system itself (I didn't even require a key) and pressed a few buttons.
Meanwhile, Wario had girls of all ages piling up to his face; teens, adults and even some pre-pubescent children were "bowing" at his feet. There was even an elder woman who just could not keep her hands off of him. Some may say that Wario had fallen in a pile of multi-colored leaves.
"Now now girls, there's enough of me to go around." Wario was acting a little more formal than usual; that could only be explained by his arousal with the girls. He flexed his bicep and lifted the women off of there feet. All 43 of them were getting a kick out of it.
"Show us more, we wanna see your abs, super model!"
Wario couldn't understand why he never had this many girls before, but he did as he was told. Yoshi, who was walking by, paused to see the amazing sight. His jaw dropped to the floor and his eyes widened.
"W-wario? I d-don't....believe..."
He slapped his face and shook his head.
"Cosplayer. Should've known"
Yoshi went on his way as Luigi turned up the heat on the grill. The temperature outside climbed a little bit, but know one seemed to notice, since Mario had the sprinkler system running. The month was May, but it felt like Summer.
"Turn it up!"
Mario shouted some encouraging words to Luigi, who had flipped on the grill's built-in radio; the sounds of surf music filled the entire yard. People from around the whole neighboorhood joined in to grab a piece of the fun.
"I'll be able to fix that door Mario broke in our house for sure with suckers like these!" Luigi snikered to himself. He flipped another patty and turned up the grill's heat nob once more.
"Yeah...this is gonna be a slam dunk."
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Chapter 7
Luigi turned the grill's nob up even higher as the music began to speed up. The girls had all stripped down to their bikini's and several other members of the neighborhood joined the party. Donkey Kong showed up with a crate full of bananas while Toad broke out the drinks. Yoshi had returned to see if Wario was actually a cosplayer or not.
"So, I guess you're not a cosplayer, huh. I don't believe it Wario, but you could actually be a model."
"Is that gonna hurt?" Wario asked as he lifted up a couple of girls onto his shoulder.
Yoshi slapped his face and kicked the dirt.
"This party sucks," he replied. "This is all a cheap scheme to get easy money thought up by Luigi. Look, the guy has his money box set up on that table over there!"
Yoshi walked over to Luigi and slammed his fist down hard on the grill's outer shell. The grill was so hot that the shell itself had become untouchable. Yoshi's hand turned bright red as he pulled back.
"OUCH! What the heck is wrong with this thing? It's hotter than Hades, man!"
Luigi shook his head and laughed. "Mabey if you hadn't of punched my beautiful, money-making machine, that wouldn't have happened, now would it? Now run along and let me make some money."
"You're starting to sound a lot like muscle head over there," Yoshi replied. "Only cares about his money. This Summer heat is getting to you....though I don't understand why it's so darn hot. It's only April, after all."
"May," Luigi snapped. "It's the first of May! Before you insult me, get your facts straight!"
Yoshi stepped back and shook his hand at Luigi.
"There's something wrong with you man. I'm leaving this party."
Luigi laughed as if to say "just go, we don't care"; he pulled out a match to light up the grill to max heat (for a customer who wanted a super hot patty) and threw it into the window of Wario's home....
Smoke filled the air, blinding everyone who wanted to get away from the area; the intense heat burned a few close to the house itself. Choas engulfed the neighborhood, with regulars running that way, to women in bikinis running the opposite direction. Luigi was, of course, at the epicenter of the blast; Mario thought that his brother was done for. Luckily, Luigi was an experiance pyrokinetic; he only suffered minor burns and cuts. Yet he himself believed that his grill was done for; the dust kicked up from the explosion prevented him from seeing much of anything.
"No no no!" He screamed. "My money! It's gone!"
Luigi's dream of repairing the door Mario kicked down was in ruin; he'd now be forced to actually fix it himself. "Oh, the shame," he cried. "I'll get splinters!"
Luigi ran away from the center and whipped the gunk off of his face. He ran and ran until he saw the familar figures of Mario, Wario, Yoshi and D.K standing by a firetruck.
"See? I told you this party sucks!" Yoshi snickered.
"Wario?" Mario asked. "Did you have anything to do with this?"
Wario thought for a second. He tried hard to remember, but he just couldn't grasp what he so desperately wanted.
"Nope! Not a clue," as a TNT stick dropped out of his pants pocket.
Mario glanced over at the stick and picked it up off the ground.
"Oh I see, you must have bought that infinite inventory glitch from ebay, right?"
Wario smilled and remembered that he had an infinite supply of fudge slipping out of his pocket.
"And here I thought you just crapped yourself. Here, lemme have some of that."
Mario and Wario chowed down until Wario had grown back to his fat ol' self. The girls had already left the party screaming anyway, so it didn't matter to him weather he was fat or not.
Luigi didn't even bother asking how Wario managed to get the infinite inventory glitch (as the glitch could only be activated if someone had hacked into Ebay itself) and began pointing fingers.
"Okay, what's the big deal? Are you trying to mess with my master plan by blowing up your own house? Are you crazy!?"
Luigi grabbed Wario by the arms and shook him hard.
"Huh?! Huh?! I bet you knew all along that that was your grill and that I found it in the walls of your house! You just acted like an idiot to mess with me! Huh?! Huh?!"
Wario's face turned dark green. His face puffed up and his eyes began to water. Mario tried to reason with Luigi.
"Uh, I don't think that's a good idea Luigi! He just ate a whole gallon of-"
BARGHGH! Particals of raw meat, stomach acid, mucus and fudge made up the delicious slim that smacked Luigi in the face with full force. It flew up into his nose and done his throat, reaching his stomach and digesting itself in mere seconds. Corn bits stuck to Luigi's face; it all mixed in with his hair to create a warm, dandruff filled mess. D.K fainted at the sight of it all.
"Fudge," Mario sighed. "Fudge."
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I am. It's still going great. I'm just waiting for the second part of the chapter.
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Good, good. I hope no one is confused by my name change.
I originally had some firefighters die...but I didn't like that angle, so I erased it. Besides, writing 2 chapters in one day without much planning isn't smart. BTW, all chapters from 1-6 are complete, so check 'em out.
EDIT: Sorry for randomly killing off Waluigi; his death was needed to explain some things in chapter 7. :P
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Okay, but we better see Waluigi's afterlife. :)
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Well, Jesus did show up...but if you remember, Waluigi shook his hand at him. So...did he go down or up? I think I might do something with that. :)
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Chapters 1-7 are now complete. Check 'em out if you wanna catch up on the story, or read a more developed chapter 7. I like doing revisions on chapters I don't like; I hope that doesn't make anyone mad. :P
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Chapter 8
The chunks that spewed forth from Wario's mouth (that had found their way to Luigi's face) fell to the floor as Luigi whiped them away with a moist towel. He made sure to get rid of every last piece; he didn't want the muck messing up his (self-proclaimed) "handsome" face.
"Blegh," he said with a sigh. "He eats way to much." One could only assume he was speaking of Wario. Luigi looked up at the smoke rising from the house. He knew that Wario had indeed planted TNT around his humble abode, but he couldn't figure out what had set it off.
"Mabey he had a match," Luigi sighed.
D.K slept by a stop sign while Mario ran to get him a pale of water. Yoshi, on the other hand, dashed to the local medical store to buy some first aid, just in case anyone was hurt. Wario was fine, of course.
"Are we having a party?" He asked Luigi, who had walked back over to the safe zone the others had "established".
"Well, we were, until you blew up your house. At least, I think you blew up your house..."
Wario pulled out a TNT stick, a copy of many other that rest at the bottom of the explosion site.
"You mean these?"
"Yes those. You blew up your house. With a...I dunno, what did you use?"
Wario was sure he wasn't the the man who destroyed his own home. Though he admitted to planting the explosives, he wasn't the one who set it off.
"It-it wasn't me," Wario cried. "I didn't do it!"
"Yes you did," Luigi snapped. "Who else could've-"
Just then, a shriek of terror ran through the entire yard. The scream shattered Wario's ears; he passed out within seconds. Others did their best to locate the source, but to no avail.
"No one was in the house, were they?" Several pedestrians, including a very concerned mother panicked when they noticed that a baby Toad had wandered away from their group, which had been set up at the corner where D.K lay. Still, none could locate the child.
"Where is he?!" The mother shook her husband, attempting to get answers.
"I-I don't know, honey. He must be here somewhere!" The father was in a nervous state of mind.
"I just...don't know"
The screams got louder until Luigi noticed the baby on the 3rd floor of the house. The baby was sitting by the window of place Wario once called bedroom. The baby was covered in ash and dirt; byproducts of the explosion. By some miracle, the child was alive.
"Great," Luigi sighed. "No one sees him but me."
He looked back at Wario, who was laying there on the floor half asleep for the 4th or 5th time in 5 hours.
"This is all your fault...."
Luigi took two steps foward, hesitated for a second or two, then dashed right into the burning house. Fire fighters hadn't even arrived yet (no one had bothered to phone 911).
He smacked open the door with his foot; it fell to the ground in a flash, and Luigi was met with intense heat. It burned his eyes with fury so great a weaker man would have turned back.
"How did that baby even get in here?" Luigi charged full force into the mess.
Meanwhile, Mario and Yoshi had arrived back at the safe zone to try and nurse D.K back to health. They poured water down his throat in an attempt to wake him back up.
"There you go," Mario said. "Water will wake 'em up."
He looked around after being dismissed by Yoshi. Wario lay upon the lawn, Luigi absent from the sceen.
"Where's Luigi? I could've sworn this is where we left him..."
Mario picked Wario up on his back and ran back over to the safe zone.
"Dial 911," he said to Yoshi. "I think Wario might be in trouble...though he probably just passed out again. I'm gonna get this fire under control with some old fashioned pyro control."
He loosened the gloves on his hand and stood near the blaze.
"I haven't done a fire this bi in a while. This is gonna take a while...."
Luigi charged through some burning wood while he smashed open some more doorways. He did his best to control the fire with his own technique, but the blaze was simply too large. All the while, he was praying to himself.
"Please don't let me be too late...."
Yeah, the story isn't really funny anymore. But I like doing that with my stories. Making them seem hilarious then go to serious. I hope I can still keep you guys entertained.
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"Luckily, Luigi was an experiance pyrokinetic"
Maybe that's why he didn't die in the science project explosion Daisy referenced in Revenge of Luigi.
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This story is SO HILARIOUS!!!! I'm laughing so hard right now!! It's just so funny how all of this happens just because Waluigi left Wario!!!! By the way, you spelt "hear" wrong on chapter 2 and I think chapter 4. You spelt them both "here." By the way, I doubt ANYONE in the Mario world is as mean as you made most of the characters (Waluigi, Mario). Overall amazing! You put a clear picture in my mind.
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Thanks man. :)
I don't know if I'll get around to writing the rest of it though.
Chapter 8 kinda sucks, so I might redo it.
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It's pretty good, I guess, but there's not much keeping it going besides the humor...
I suppose the story was intended to be funny from the start, though, so in that case you're doing a good job.
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Yeah, it was supposed to be funny from the start.
No storyline really (BTW, I think the storyline I have for it right now sucks).
I think I'm done with this story. It's pretty crappy, and it's not one of my favorite works.