The Subspace Emissary 2: Darkness

[Luigalaxy]

I have decided to make another fan fic that I hope will not have to close down. So, this takes place after The Subspace Emissary finished. NOTE: Spoilers are imminant, as the story uses key elements from the plotline. Stages, places, characters and enemies will be explained, some thoroughly explained, others not. SPOILERS START BELOW!


                                           --- Prolouge ---
                                 --- Subspace, Remains of Great Maze* ---

"How did they possbly defeat me? I managed to get one of the greatest ships, a great amount of enemies, and yet, they still defeat me. I'm gonna need some actual help this time." Tabuu thought to himself. So, then, a great swirl of energy came out of Tabuu's fingertips. It swirled together to make a blue fairy. "Thank you for freeing me. What is your name?" The blue ball that was a fairy asked. "My name is Tabuu." "Ahhh. My name is Fai. Would you like me to do anything, Master Tabuu?" Fai asked. "Yes." Tabuu answered. "Go here." An orb-like object formed from Tabuu's fingertips. What was inside was The Midair Stadium**. "OK." "Go and find Bowser. There will also be a fight there with the ones named Mario and Sonic." With that, Fai opened a portal in Subspace. It showed the Midair Stadium "Goodbye!" Fai called as she left.

* The Great Maze was a maze formed by Tabuu in the end of the game. He caused the players to go around, defeating bosses, defeating dark versions of themselves before going to the Enterence to Tabbu's Quarters. The Great Maze is formed through the memories of the characters. It is alot of the levels.

** The Midair Stadium is just a stadium to battle for the Smash Bros. torunaments. It was where Kirby battled Mario.

[Luigalaxy]

                                   --- CHAPTER 1! ---
     
                            --- Outside the Smash Stadium, Smash Realm ---

Mario and Peach were walking down the walking trail towards the Smash Stadium, about an hour before the big fight. Mario said to Peach, "It's so nice to be-a with you right now, Peach. I hope this moment never ends-a." Peach blushed and giggled.

                          --- Smash Stadium, a few minutes later. ---

Mario began his pratice by fighting a few Dummy Primids. Then, he continued by fighting Luigi (and going into SUDDEN DEATH.). Finally, about a few minutes before the big fight, Mario went inside the Stadium's dome for some lunch.

                 --- Smash Stadium, same time as Mario and Peach's walk. ---
Fai showed up inside the dome of the Stadium not knowing what to do. However, he quickly saw Bowser (the person that Tabuu had told via telepathy.) attempting to sabatoge the battle. Fai entered Bowser's mind through his ears, and brainwashed him. "Now, my minion, go find the Subspace Battleship and bring it outside the Swamp." Fai ordered. [YES, MASTER FAI. IT SHALL TAKE A WHILE, BUT I WILL HAVE IT TO YOU AS SOON AS I CAN.] Bowser responded, sounding a bit different.

                                            To Be Continued...

[Luigalaxy]

People, I have seen that there have been 75 views. Please rate and give suggestions for the next chapter!


                                        --- Chapter II ---
                                    --- Battleship Halberd ---

After the great Subspace War, the Battleship Halberd was discovered, deep down in the Anicent's Sea*.
When Meta Knight, Kirby, Mr. Game and Watch and King Dedede (the crew at the time) found it, it was pretty much FILLED with refugee Subspace Army members, underwater wildlife, seaweed, etc. It took about a month to clear it out. Almost a year later, the Halberd is flying through the skies. The new crew is Kirby, Meta Knight, R.O.B.**, King Dedede, Mr. Game and Watch, Luigi, Ness, Lucario, and, suprisingly, some of the Subspace Army and some Shadow Bugs***. All of them accepted a truce. While flying around, Lucario had a vision that the Midair Stadium was in trouble. So, he walked upto the intercom, looked at the number list and found Meta Kinghts number: 1069. He typed 1069 into the keyboard, pressed Enter and waited for  it load. A second later, the screen said 1069 - Meta Knight.  He held down the intercom button and said, "Meta Knight, this is Lucario." A moment later, Meta Knight responded, "Yes?" "May I speak to you in your room?" "OK." After a few minutes of walking around, Lucario found room 1069. Lucario pressed the Ring button on the interface below the sign. "Come in." Meta Knight responded. Lucario walked in and said, "Hello." "What do you want?" Meta Knight said. "I had a vision that a new Subspace Army would attack the Midair Stadium." Lucario stated flatly. "When?" Meta Knight asked. "In a few minutes." Lucario answered. "OK" Meta Knight said. Meta Knight walked out of the room. Lucario followed.

[Reading]

You've got a sort of interesting plot going here. I think the writing could be improved just a touch, but that might just be me. Overall, it's not a bad story, but it's not holding my attention as well as some other stories do. I am looking forward to the next chapter, so I hope the story will develop and become more intense and interesting. Just some suggestions.

[Ambulance Y]

The best thing to improve writing is get harshly criticized and continue to write anyway. The plot is alright, but I will agree that the writing itself could be improved. I'll also note that the writing is very straightforward and blunt. Straightforward writing can work very well (i.e. Hemingway and Kerouac), but it must be mastered first.   

[Kimimaru]

Great story! I agree with the others though. The plot is great, but the writing can be tweaked a little. I look forward to more of these!

[jmdblazer]

Great story! But work on the dialogue, Meta Knight's dialogue needs to be more in character, and more than just "ok".

[Luigalaxy]

Sorry. 2nd fan fic ever. But your all right! Right now, I'm still thinking up the next chapter. Thank you for your support. Yeah. Now that I think about it, Meta Knight's dialouge could be changed. The writing, however, I will change.

[Turtlekid1]

Good story, I only have one complaint that you don't need to heed:  Lucario can't actually talk.  He sends telepathic messages for communication.  But like I said, I'm just a fanboy, and it's not really crucial.

[Luigalaxy]

... OK! I will change that when I can. Also, plot suggestions: please PM me with them as they may be spoilers. Now for:


--- Chapter III ---

Lucario and Meta Knight made it to the control tower after a few minutes of walking around. When they got there, Meta Knight gruffly pushed the Primid controlling the ship out of his way. Meta Knight then started to turn the ship to the side, but then, CRASH! The ship had collided with a Subspace Gunship. The Subspace Gunship took hold of the Halberd with 4 claws that had been stolen from the Halberd. "How ironic." The Primid mumbled.

--- Smash Stadium ---
Mario started the fight with a punch at Sonic. Sonic took 5% Damage. Sonic used Spin Attack but was grabbed ahold of a Dark Sonic. Mario attempted to attack the Dark Sonic, but was held back by a hypnotized ROB.

[Kimimaru]

Nice. Try to make them a little longer though.

[Luigalaxy]

I'm gonna try to make this a monthly updated story. Though, sorry, no update this month. Kimi, I was thinking about making the chapter 2 part but decided against it. The story is about to have a pretty big change (not with the storyline yet, but you will see.), so stay tuned.

[Luigalaxy]

Welcome! Welcome new title!
This is the change I was talking about. I've noticed that I've been slacking with explanations. So, they will stop. The title change has to do with a new story element that will appear in September. (hint, hint.) And, there will be a chapter this month.

-Luigalaxy

[Reading]

I wouldn't advise calling yourself a slacker. If you say something all the time, you may start to fully believe it.

[Luigalaxy]

I'm teasing. I'm not really a slacker.