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Author Topic: The Prophecy  (Read 64934 times)

Sapphira

  • Inquiring
« Reply #60 on: April 26, 2003, 06:56:00 PM »
I'll read your story, Steve. I wasn't afraid people would think my story's bad, just that it's controversial--or people wouldn't read it, like you said. Anyway, post it. You won't know until you try. (Do you HOW much GUTS it took me to post THIS story?!) If I can do it, so can you, and anyone else.

Dairy King, your story sounds really good and well-written so far, even though it's not Mario-related (at least it gave me that impression). I'd like to read it. :)

Don't make me feel like I'm the only person who'd post a fanfic here, people!

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If things don''t go your way, just keep complaining until your dreams come true.

"The surest way to happiness is to lose yourself in a cause greater than yourself."

Insane Steve

  • Professional Cynic
« Reply #61 on: April 26, 2003, 07:07:00 PM »
Well, I guess that's all the conformation I need. I'll post Chaper 1 .... probably tomorrow. I mean, I have to iron out a few things (The ending is a tad fuzzy, and Chapter 5 is the weakest. Other than that... everything is set for my story to the posted. Although Chapters 1-4 are essentially the way I want them) and so I doubt I'll start today. You never know though...

It isn't long at all, only 7 chapters and an Eplilouge (I think that's the word I want) and it has about 1/5th the major characters as my 2nd fanfic... (And 1/20th the amount of original characters) so you shouldn't get confused. I think.

Congratulations! You have just been blessed by the wisdom of Steve.

~I.S.~

« Reply #62 on: April 26, 2003, 10:49:00 PM »
My story starts off with Link fighting Gannondorf, then moves to TMK. It has eqaul amounts of each.(so far) Thats all I got. Please!! Post more of your story!

I am poetry in motion. You are gibberish in neutral.

More shtick than you can shake a stick at.

« Reply #63 on: April 28, 2003, 02:07:00 PM »
That was the greatest 1/4 of a story that I ever read. When i'ts all completed you should try to get it published.

What is wrong with this guy?
...Besides everything!


« Reply #64 on: April 28, 2003, 08:47:00 PM »
I guess I can wait until your chapter is revised(*long sigh*). Revising is what takes up most of my writing time. I just hope when my story picks up everyone will probably stop wondering " Hey, this ain't a dark and gritty story, what gives." It gets kinda emotional and sometimes my eyes will water, 'cause its really sad. ARRG! MUST... STOP... RAMBLING! sorry.

Spill the blood of the innocent!!! Then clean it before it makes a mess!

Like a sponge, thirsty I am!

Sapphira

  • Inquiring
« Reply #65 on: April 28, 2003, 09:04:00 PM »
Heh...generally, I'm not affected by emotional scenes in movies/stories/etc, unless I really get into and attatched to the characters. (When in novel in a series I've been reading I heard one of the characters was going to die, I thought my eyes were gonna water...*sniffle*)
I still get a little lump in my throat each time I read the scene with Melony and Peach (which is sorta related to something that happened in my real life), and when she dies in Mario's arms... so sad...

Sorry...now *I'm* rambling. Anyhoo, the only time I can work on the story is in the late morning/earlier afternoon, when everyone's gone.

I hope you'll continue your story, Bluto.

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If things don''t go your way, just keep complaining until your dreams come true.

"The surest way to happiness is to lose yourself in a cause greater than yourself."

Jman

  • Score
« Reply #66 on: April 30, 2003, 07:44:00 AM »
This is the greatest fanfic I've ever read. I'll bet Mario is really mad at Bowser when he finds out about this. He should leave Bowser in a pool of his own crimson blood.

Waluigi, how unoriginal can you get?

I always figured "Time to tip the scales" was Wario's everyday motto.

Sapphira

  • Inquiring
« Reply #67 on: April 30, 2003, 11:45:00 AM »
Hey everybody...Guess what? I finished the changes to the rest of Part 1!!! So now...here's the much-awaited Chapter 11!!


Chapter 11: Relentless Tears
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Bower had entered the princess’s room and found the young, beautiful mother of his child as a fragile, lifeless body. He had dreaded this fearful day, and never in all his life had he felt so alone and disheartened. He made a dreadful cry—a terrible, mourning roar heard all throughout the entire kingdom, putting a deep fear and pity into the hearts of those still alive.

Tears streamed down Bowser’s hideous face as he gently rested it against the princess’s soft, rosy cheek, stoking her golden hair with his scaly claw. A light tapping came from the door, and slowly the head Magikoopa entered the room.

“…Y…Your Majesty…?” he asked gently, “Is there anything…..?”
“Please, just leave me alone…” the monarch murmured desolately.
“I am so sorry, Your Highness… Please tell me if I can do anything…”
“Just go away…” Bowser sighed dejectedly, “Tell the land…today is a day of mourning.”
Kamek sadly glanced at the lifeless Peach. “…W…what should we do…with the body…?”

A fierce, burning anger arose from within the depths of his soul. “You will *not* refer to my love that way!” he roared in desperation.
“…I…I’m sorry…” Kamek cowered apologetically.
Bowser lifted the princess’s head, carefully propping her neck and back with his claw. “We…must preserve her…” he slowly stated.
“How…?”
His hardened heart grew desperate. “I don’t know!” he shouted vehemently, “Find a way!  Just…put her in stasis or something…!”
“W…why…do you want to do that, Sir…? Kamek asked timidly.

Bowser closed his eyes and shook his head in agony. “Maybe…we can find a cure for her…and can bring her back…”
“But, Sir…!” he cried, “We’ve been working on that for four years now…  We can’t…”
“Find a way!” he interrupted frantically, “We have to get her back…!”
“…Sir…there’s nothing we can do…”
“That was an order, Kamek!”
He sighed vainly. “Yes, Sir… In the meantime we’ll put her in stasis…”
“Good… Now, go!” Kamek hopelessly left the room, wondering how he would possibly be able to do as his king had asked. Bowser gave a forlorn sigh, and holding the lifeless Peach close to him, he caressed her limp hand and softly kissed her angelic face.
“Don’t worry, baby; we’ll get you back…”

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The rain poured ceaselessly to the demolished ground. Slaves of Bowser’s terrible Empire toiled on the land, filled with hopelessness and despair, as the minor tremors continued sporadically. It was as if the whole earth was crying out.

Yoshi was able to rescue Luigi and Daisy, and they continued to hide in the cave, creating a solid hidden entrance. Luckily Yoshi had brought plenty of supplies and rations to last them quite a while.

Mario had silently exited the princess’s room, too numb and despondent to do anything more. Meeting up with Toad, the heartbroken plumber had told the small Mushroom Retainer the devastating news.

Sorrowfully the two turned around and began walking home, wet tears stained on their faces and eyes, creating a surreal, bleary line of vision. Amidst the gloomy scene, a loud screech sounded from the castle’s intercom system. Immediately everyone looked for the source of the noise. A Hammer Brother stood on an alcove above and spoke into a megaphone connected to the system.

“Attention to all in the land!” the voice crackled, “His Highness has just declared today as a day of mourning, in the loving memory of Princess Peach Toadstool, who has just passed away. Everyone is to return to their homes or quarters to mourn for the rest of the day. You will be informed later of when to return …”

An expression of agony spread across each individual’s face. Thunder raged throughout the dreary sky as everyone glumly walked back to the slave encampment.

The terrible reminder forced a second dagger in the heroes’ already-plunging hearts. Reality sank in, and Toad began to shudder uncontrollably, his eyes welling terribly so that everything became a massive blur of monotonous gray. Mario closed his eyes tightly, remembering his love’s final breath in his arms. The plumber collapsed, trembling, the bitter tears running endlessly down his face. “…Peach…! …Oh, Peach…”

The land was now completely deserted, as the heroes lay on the cold, wet cement, hidden, weeping bitterly for the dear princess. She was gone… Loved by all, she was actually gone… The rain poured relentlessly down upon their heads.

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From the underground cave, the dire message resonated throughout the kingdom-wide intercom and poured into the hearts of the three friends in hiding. Luigi, Daisy and Yoshi huddled together, dismayed from the deplorable news.

“Oh no…!  Did you guys hear that…?” Yoshi sadly cried.
“…Oh…Peach…!” Daisy grieved, “…This cannot be happening…” She buried her saddened face miserably in her hands. Luigi held her close in his arms and kissed her head, gently rocking her.
“…This is the end…” he quavered, “The Mushroom Kingdom is gone… There’s now no hope…”


Edited by - Sapphira on 4/30/2003 11:03:04 AM

"The surest way to happiness is to lose yourself in a cause greater than yourself."

Fifth

  • Quadruped
« Reply #68 on: April 30, 2003, 01:17:00 PM »
Wow...
I was hesitant to read this (I don't normally care much for fanfics,) but I'm glad that I finally got around to doing so.
You pulled off the premise and the effect quite wonderfully, and I was moved.  Truly.

...Dag. That's the problem with reading in backlog. You get accustomed to reading straight through, and then you get to the end and realize that you have to start waiting.
So... here's waiting for the next part.

Go Moon!

Go Moon!

« Reply #69 on: April 30, 2003, 08:13:00 PM »
This chapter I feel really shows something kinda unique. If I may ramble for a bit, this shows a side of Bowser that is rarely seen. In Mario games, it seemed that Bowser would capture the princess just to terrorize her, or to take over, or to get Mario to walk into traps, but this story shows a compassionate side of Bowser, that the monster's heart is actually capable of love. The most significant parts are the anger he shows when he learns Peach is dying, and the grief showed when she dies. This is honestly to most I have cared about a story and the characters. I feel that I am your number 1 fan because I come here over ten times a day to look for updates, and don't worry, my story's plot gravy is about to thicken.^_^

Spill the blood of the innocent!!! Then clean it before it makes a mess!

Like a sponge, thirsty I am!

Insane Steve

  • Professional Cynic
« Reply #70 on: April 30, 2003, 08:21:00 PM »
What I like about that chapter was how Bowser, although he was sorrowful, was also quite angry and much like himself at the same time. I love these stark contrasts in moods... (As you have seen and will see in my fanfic) Well done!

Although I am still not saying my predictions... unless they're right.

Congratulations! You have just been blessed by the wisdom of Steve.

~I.S.~

Sapphira

  • Inquiring
« Reply #71 on: April 30, 2003, 08:28:00 PM »
Actually, I honestly do think you're my #1 fan, Bluto.  
I love doing this sort of thing; everyone hates the antagonist (Bowser, obviously), yet can't help but feel sympathy for him. 2 contradicting emotions at once.

Anyway, don't worry, my loyal fans! Tomorrow Chapter 12, the final chapter in Part 1, shall be posted. ^_^

--------------------
If things don''t go your way, just keep complaining until your dreams come true.

"The surest way to happiness is to lose yourself in a cause greater than yourself."

Sapphira

  • Inquiring
« Reply #72 on: May 01, 2003, 07:41:00 AM »
And now, CH 12, the ending of Part 1...


Chapter 12: Touch of Hope
---------------------------

Thunder continued to crackle throughout the dreary sky as the two disheartened heroes sat on the wet pavement, weeping in sorrow. A small, faint light flickered in the sky. It flew over to them, the plumber and Mushroom Retainer now drenched from the rain.

“Mario…!” Twink shouted through the loud thunderstorm. The two looked up, squinting from the pouring rain. “I’ve been looking all over for you…” He paused. “You’ve…heard, haven’t you…?”
“Hi, Twink…” Mario replied glumly.  The storm began to lighten a bit.
Twink looked at the ground.  “I…um…I have a message from the Princess…”
Mario stared at him. “…What do you mean…?” he asked slowly, “She…”

“Shortly before she…..” the little Star interrupted, “Uh…she told me to find you and tell you this…” Mario looked directly into Twink, his eyes searching the little Star. “She said that…she loves you…and she’ll never forget you…” Mario painfully closed his eyes, placing a hand over his mouth to keep from sobbing.

“She said that it’s not your fault,” Twink continued, “and there was nothing that you could have done…” His whole body began to shudder from the immense agony.
“Then she said to never give up hope, and that the prophecy you had told her has been fulfilled…”

Finally he could no longer contain the immeasurable amount of sorrow enveloping his soul as tears streamed down his face. “…Princess…! My beautiful princess…!” His heart ached with misery.
Toad sadly looked at Twink, slightly puzzled. “What prophecy…?”
“I’m not sure I know it very well…” he slowly replied, “Mario, you probably know it better than me. Would you be able to tell us…?” he asked kindly. Mario made himself calm back down again, wiping away his tears.

“…Um…well… A few days before Peach…” he pressed painfully, his eyes welling up again, “…was kidnapped, Merlon told me of a strange dream he had…” Mario tried hard to clear his mind. “He said…um…a voice told him this: that ‘a child of Good and Evil will come…’ Uh…that ‘Good will perish and Evil will reign…’ Um…uh…” He forced himself to focus. “Oh, and that ‘the child will destroy the Evil and Good will prevail again…” Mario looked up. “…But neither of us knew what it meant…”

Twink pursed his lips. “Peach told me that her daughter was this child…”
The thought absorbed into Mario’s mind. “…Wait a minute… So that means… Peach represents ‘Good’ and Bowser represents ‘Evil’…” His mind was whirling a mile a minute.
Toad thought for a moment. “Wait…‘Evil will reign…’ So, wait, Bowser’s already conquered most of the Mushroom World…so…I guess ‘Evil’ *is* Bowser…” he slowly stated.
Mario gasped, “…Oh no…‘Good will perish’… Peach is ‘Good,’ and she…she…” Unable to force the painful words, he closed his eyes in agony.

“I think we’ve figured it out…” the little Star whispered, “But… What does it mean by the last part…uh…‘the child will destroy the Evil and Good will prevail once more’…? If you replace ‘child’, ‘Good’ and ‘Evil’ for their names…it just doesn’t make sense…” He shook his head in perplexity.
“Maybe we’re interpreting it wrong…” Toad suggested.
“Maybe… But this ‘child’ *has* to be her daughter… Who else has been born of one truly good and one truly evil…?”
Toad thought hard. “But…maybe we’re looking into it too much… Could ‘Good’ and ‘Evil’ possibly mean our two kingdoms…?”

“Wait…maybe…” Twink paused in thought. “This child is born of the rulers of each of the two kingdoms…”
Mario looked up once again, “What about that ‘Good will perish’ part…?” He paused slowly. “I mean …Peach…she…” he trailed off sadly.
“But then how can ‘Good’ ‘prevail once more’…?”

“…Ooh… This is so confusing…!” The Mushroom Retainer lamented, “By the time we figure it out, it’ll have already happened…”  
They all sighed dejectedly and picked themselves off the cold, wet ground. It had stopped raining a while ago. Twink sadly waved goodbye as the two heroes glumly walked back to the Mushroom Kingdom, their voices silent.

------------------------
Mario and Toad used the underground piping system to travel back home. Luigi, Yoshi and Daisy had dug a tunnel through their cave wall and found their way into the Toad Town Tunnels. Eventually the five of them unsuspectingly found each other, and it was a happy reunion. None of them had heard from the other since the terrible day the Mushroom Kingdom was captured. Glad as they were to see each other again, there was a silent aura of sadness felt from within each heart. All of the turmoil, deaths, destruction…. There was no way to hide its impact.

And then there was Peach.  She was their closest friend.  Nothing would ever be the same without her in their lives.  
Together, they helped comfort one another, driving each other on.  They would make it through this—together.  

Mario and Toad were overjoyed in learning of Luigi and Daisy’s engagement. They made their way back to the small cave, which was a little crowded with five people. They huddled together, trying to find a way of continuing on with their lives amidst the unlikely odds of survival.

Eventually through the long, hard months, the special day had come. It wasn’t very fancy, nor was anyone really dressed for the occasion, but it had to do.

The five gathered for the small wedding, the bride and groom each accepting with all of their hearts. Luigi and Daisy slowly leaned toward each other as their lips tenderly met. The others quietly cheered as they watched the joyous scene. They were now married. Nothing could ever break their two souls apart.

Together, they all waited in silence, wondering what was to come in their bleak, dark days that lay ahead.

"The surest way to happiness is to lose yourself in a cause greater than yourself."

« Reply #73 on: May 01, 2003, 01:27:00 PM »
I guess I never really thought about the part of the prophecy saying good will return and destroy the evil not making sense, but now that its been brought up, how can the good(Peach) return if it had parished? ARRG! Now I'm more intrigued than ever! I can't wait for more.^_^

Spill the blood of the innocent!!! Then clean it before it makes a mess!

Like a sponge, thirsty I am!

Sapphira

  • Inquiring
« Reply #74 on: May 01, 2003, 03:26:00 PM »
Heheh...I love foreshadowing in a mysterious, incomprehendible way... I can just imagine the different predictions you guys are all making. Heheheheheh....Okay, I've GOT to stop doing that!

The story SHALL continue, but updates will be random and sporatic. Glad you're all enjoying! (Man, I bet I'm torturing you by leaving it hanging like this!) ;)

--------------------
If things don''t go your way, just keep complaining until your dreams come true.

"The surest way to happiness is to lose yourself in a cause greater than yourself."

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