I'm planning on making my living by kidnapping strangers on the streets of New York. I'll put them in a big hole and shout at them from above to do entertaining things, such as "pretend to juggle torches" or "see which one of you can walk on this the longest." I will motivate them with a shotgun, modified to shoot paint balls, or a paintball gun, modified to look like a shotgun. It will also shoot actual shotgun shells, and I will suprise them every once in a while with a real one. When they fall asleep, I'll toss various bags of flour, salt, and sugar down on them to wake them up, and just start laughing my head off crazily for no reason. A cacling, maniacle, carefully toned and pitched laugh that will haunt their memories for the rest of their lives. Me and my buddy will run this little buisness, and work shifts to make sure they don't escape. He wants to take the night shift, because he thought the trapped in a hole bit was perfect for his "Silence of the Lambs" bit. He'll tell them that "It puts the lotion on it's skin or else it gets the hose again" and won't even provide them with lotion, and then spray them with the garden hose. I'm not too sure if that's even from the Silence of the Lambs, and neither is he, because we haven't seen it. We just got that line from that episode of South Park where Cartman was doing that thing with the lotion and the hose again and his mother refered to it as playing "Lambs" so that's what we're assuming. Boy will it be fun. Not too sure how I'll make money off of this, though.
Let me away from this boulder!
