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Miscellaneous => General Chat => Topic started by: BP on August 15, 2007, 10:11:18 PM

Title: Silverwar
Post by: BP on August 15, 2007, 10:11:18 PM
The fork. Four fierce spears with which you can viciously stab your food, rendering it helpless. However, every once in a while, a pea or a noodle may escape the fork's power-hungry grasp. Is the fork right for you?

The spoon. Like a cupped hand, this gentle tool will aid you in scooping up soup too hot to touch, ice cream too frigid for your delicate fingers. But it's better to be feared than loved, and spaghetti is a common rebel of the spoon. Are you a friend to spoons?

The butter knife. Somewhere along the time line it was said that food ought to taste good, and enhancements to food were born. Butter, mayonnaise, peanut butter and others depend on this reliable utensil to carry out that duty. Although, the butter knife loses its purpose after it has made your food delicious. Is livening up your meal too much a hassle?

The steak knife. We've all been there--when you've a slab of meat too tough for your dull teeth to handle, the knife comes to the rescue. dividing the main course to little bits, this dangerous item will make your dinner much more convenient. Or, are you one of those wild people who tears their steak to pieces with their bare hands?

The chopsticks. Just throwing it out there. Say, how many of us know how to use a pair of chopsticks? I know how to hold them and use them, but I don't get far with them... but they're cool.

Don't request anything else, like spatulas or soup ladles. This is a poll about silverware used after you've got your plate.

My vote will have to go to the spoon. I could live without spaghetti, maybe.
Title: Re: Silverwar
Post by: MaxVance on August 15, 2007, 10:14:55 PM
Knives. You can usually use them like a fork, and they are also useful for cutting.
Title: Re: Silverwar
Post by: Koopaslaya on August 15, 2007, 10:34:18 PM
The spoon is the most versatile of all utensils. You can cut with it's edge and scoop. It makes a fork and knife seem stupid. The spoon is the ultimate.
Title: Re: Silverwar
Post by: Lizard Dude on August 15, 2007, 10:38:00 PM
A spoon with a fairly sharp edge (be careful) is the ultimate. I voted spoon. Spoons can eat most things forks can but forks get destroyed by liquids and cereal. How are you supposed to eat Rice Krispies with a fork!?
Title: Re: Silverwar
Post by: TEM on August 15, 2007, 10:43:27 PM
The fork is superior.

The multiple narrow tipped prongs on the end of a fork make stabbing and penetration of an object just as easy as a knife. The multiple prongs make lifting or maneuvering of said object much more stable and comfortable than with a Knife. The prongs.

Anything that you can scoop with a spoon that you CAN"T scoop or pierce and lift with a fork can be drank straight from whatever you are using to hold it, rendering the spoon unneeded.

The fork can slice most things as well as a knife if you use some elbow grease. And the things that you can't? You either aren't trying hard enough, or you can just pierce the food and bring the whole thing to your face and bite off a chunk.

So in conclusion the fork's strong point is its penetration and grip after penetrating, anything that it can't do as well as a knife or a spoon can be done just as well using other means.

May the forks be with you.
Title: Re: Silverwar
Post by: The Blue Toad on August 16, 2007, 12:04:21 AM
I like soup too much to not vote for the spoon.  Plus, when analyzing each tool, the roundedness of the spoon seems so innocent, amiable, and far more inviting than the imposing appendages of the fork or the bitter gleam of the knife. 
It was the first of the silverware trinity that I learned to utilize, and thus it holds a place in my heart that none other can fill.  Like a maternal figure, it has grown up with me.  Whether it's scooping up the Goldfish crackers floating around in my bowl of sticky tomato soup or measuring out a dollop of whipped cream to top off a jiggly mound of Jell-O, the spoon had always been there.  *sniffle-sniff*
Title: Re: Silverwar
Post by: Unlimited Lumpia on August 16, 2007, 12:05:21 AM
Chopsticks are my weapon of choice.  They just make you so dang cool.. unless of course you drop your sushi on your lap (true story).

I'm surprised the spork isn't listed.  It's like the best of both worlds.
Title: Re: Silverwar
Post by: SolidShroom on August 16, 2007, 01:28:18 AM
Okay chopsticks are a novelty item. I don't really see how they are useful. butter knives suck, because you can use a spoon in a similar fasion. And for corn, knives are nothing in comparison to napkins. sure you can cut with steak knives, but if you eat something really tough, there isn't much trouble in lifting it to your mouth with a fork, unless it's a prime rib or other large steak. But you can probably rip them. And besides, prime ribs suck. So yeah, the final showdown is between the fork and spoon. I had to pick spoon though. You can eat most things with that require a fork with your hands, like steak. Anything else can be eaten with a spoon, like mashed potatoes or potato salad. However, you can't eat soup without a spoon. Oh, and Spaghetti sucks.

But on a final note, Sporks are the best type of silverware ever.
Title: Re: Silverwar
Post by: Lizard Dude on August 16, 2007, 02:13:28 AM
Okay chopsticks are a novelty item.
Tell that to an Asian!
Title: Re: Silverwar
Post by: Pt_Peach on August 16, 2007, 02:26:40 AM
I voted for the fork. It's a weapon...not to mention that it doubles as a spoon when you just can't find one and you need to eat cereal. It works pretty well! As for soups and stuff...I wouldn't mind using pita bread to scoop it out or I'd just drink it.
Title: Re: Silverwar
Post by: BP on August 16, 2007, 02:35:30 AM
Yes... why is it you "eat" soup (assume Solids are not suspended in it)? It is liquid, like water, Kool-Aid or molten magma. Yet, you drink those things.
Title: Re: Silverwar
Post by: Markio on August 16, 2007, 03:32:47 PM
I also vote spoon for its versatility at cutting, and holding solids and liquids.  Although I think a Spork is much superior for all these things.
Title: Re: Silverwar
Post by: TEM on August 16, 2007, 04:11:45 PM
I don't see why the spoon's cutting factor is being so played up. The fork's cutting ability far surpasses the spoons, unless you have one of these razor-edged spoons that people are mentioning.
Title: Re: Silverwar
Post by: Koopaslaya on August 16, 2007, 07:39:27 PM
I believe that the spoon has an "edge" on the fork's cutting ability, it depends on the spoon, though. But remember, cereal can also be consumed with the spoon. So, the spoon's cutting power, no matter at what level the said spoon is at automatically boots it.

Here is some logic to prove my spoon theory.

Because all solid items that are cut are scoopable,
And because a spoon can cut and scoop,
The spoon can scoop all solid items.

The same can be said of the fork.

BUT---

Bowl-shaped utensils can scoop liquids
A spoon is bowl-shaped
Therefore, a spoon can scoop liquids.

The same is not true for a fork. A fork is not bowl-shaped (it has holes)   

Here is a simple diagram to explain what I am talking about.

Fork: Stabbing, Cutting, Scooping Liquids
Spoon: Cutting, Scooping Solids, Scooping Liquids, Stabbing   

The spoon's inability to stab a food item is not an issue, because the stabbing power is trumped by its ability to cut and scoop solids.
Title: Re: Silverwar
Post by: PaperLuigi on August 16, 2007, 08:02:04 PM
I think the fork is the most important (for the food I eat anyway).
Title: Re: Silverwar
Post by: Kimimaru on August 17, 2007, 08:48:47 AM
Haha! The fork is superior!

(https://themushroomkingdom.net/board/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fhometown.aol.com%2FJournals%2520Editor%2Fimages%2Fblogimages%2F021006fork450.jpg&hash=0b2aee6285be0f25029fbbf83a33f84e)

See! It can do almost anything a spoon can, plus if one part breaks, you can still use the other parts!

I believe that the spoon has an "edge" on the fork's cutting ability, it depends on the spoon, though. But remember, cereal can also be consumed with the spoon. So, the spoon's cutting power, no matter at what level the said spoon is at automatically boots it.

Too bad! I know someone who eats cereal with a fork!
Title: Re: Silverwar
Post by: Koopaslaya on August 17, 2007, 08:54:25 AM
Think about it like this, friend... Stranded on a desert island. You have a knife, but you need another utensil.  Suddenly a magic genie offers you the choice of a fork or spoon. Take the spoon, take the spoon.
Title: Re: Silverwar
Post by: Eric B. (Shnoogums) on August 17, 2007, 10:31:55 PM
The fork has always been the most important tool that i use when eating, though sometimes, when eating some Macaroni, i use a spoon. Or i alternate in using a spoon or a fork while eating Macaroni.
Title: Re: Silverwar
Post by: TEM on August 17, 2007, 10:47:15 PM
Think about it like this, friend... Stranded on a desert island. You have a knife, but you need another utensil.  Suddenly a magic genie offers you the choice of a fork or spoon. Take the spoon, take the spoon.

This little story problem makes the knife sound like the most important, not the spoon. Was that your intention?
Title: Re: Silverwar
Post by: Koopaslaya on August 18, 2007, 08:46:18 AM
This was not meant to be a steak knife. I meant it to be more of a pocket knife. You see, a pocket knife hardly counts as a utensil.
Title: Re: Silverwar
Post by: Glorb on August 18, 2007, 08:52:51 AM
I prefer dual-wielding a fork and a steak knife, so no food is free from my power. I just eat soup with my hands.
Title: Re: Silverwar
Post by: The Chef on August 18, 2007, 10:12:11 AM
How? Or do you put your face in the bowl and suck the soup out like a vacuum?
Title: Re: Silverwar
Post by: TEM on August 18, 2007, 02:01:05 PM
You can't pick up a bowl and drink from it?
Title: Re: Silverwar
Post by: The Chef on August 18, 2007, 09:12:57 PM
It's kind of hard to do that if he his hands are already full. But I guess he can drink from the bowl by sticking his face in it.
Title: Re: Silverwar
Post by: Rao on August 18, 2007, 11:40:33 PM
I think chopsticks are pretty useful, if you can understand the Engrish on the wrapper.
Title: Re: Silverwar
Post by: Kimimaru on August 19, 2007, 08:56:52 AM
It's kind of hard to do that if he his hands are already full. But I guess he can drink from the bowl by sticking his face in it.

OR, you can just put down the fork and knife for a little while and pick up the bowl and drink from it.
Title: Re: Silverwar
Post by: Rao on August 19, 2007, 11:00:12 AM
You could get two knives, and use them as chopsticks. Use the sharp edge to cut stuff, and then use the flat side to to pick it up and put it in your mouth, but that'd be pretty dangerous.
Title: Re: Silverwar
Post by: Kimimaru on August 20, 2007, 05:11:15 PM
I guess you can do that with plastic knives.
Title: Re: Silverwar
Post by: Markio on August 21, 2007, 10:52:47 PM
I always get inexplicably sad when on TV, the character holds up a fork and knife as though preparing to eat, and then something goes wrong and their smile of anticipation fades to a frown and they slowly lower their utensils.  Why must people get their hopes up like that!?  It's just another meal!  They happen all the time!
Title: Re: Silverwar
Post by: Rao on August 21, 2007, 11:29:49 PM
A lot of people relish a home-cooked meal. And besides, it's TV, it's very unreal. But I don't really like it either.