Fungi Forums
Miscellaneous => General Chat => Topic started by: Bigluigifan1.0 on November 06, 2005, 10:49:27 PM
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Some of you may know as I may type alot, I don't really talk alot, but I have a book on how to talk to anyone! It's not working! What I noticed is, I'll talk to anyone as long as they talk to me first. I just don't know why I can't just walk up to someone and say somthing! When I plan on talking to someone my brain dies, and I don't say a word. I just don't get it. How can everyone else talk, but I can't?!?
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Edited by - bigmariofan1.0 on 11/7/2005 11:37:02 AM
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There are 2 Possible reasons.
1. You're not outgoing. A.K.A Shy
2. You're talking to a girl you have a crush on.
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I know Im shy, but I don't want to be, I don't think anyone wants to be shy. Here's the stuff from the book:
When the person does somthing impressive, do little compliments.
A good topic to talk about is them.
At the end of anyones sentece ask a one-word question, about the sentece.
That's all I can think of for the moment, I hope that helps one of you guys too.
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Edited by - bigmariofan1.0 on 11/7/2005 2:29:46 PM
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You don't need a book. It's common sense.
Try keeping your mouth closed and listen to others for awhile. And when you know what their personality is like, and you can relate to most of the things they like, then try speaking to them.
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My policy is that, if I have nothing to say to someone, I don't go out of my way to talk to them.
If you have something to say and just can't get it out, I've heard that imagining the person in their underwear helps, but it's never worked for me.
"At Dukar, we place our emphasis on serving you, supporting
you, and helping you be as successful as possible."
Edited by - Screech on 11/7/2005 4:48:00 PM
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Accually VGC, you might be right, but the book had some good stuff in there.
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I just talk a lot.
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If you don't have anything nice to say, make sure you have something heavy to throw!
Hey, I'm not good at talking to people either! Of course, I blame this medication for making me more "bad at talking", but I was to begin with, except I felt less ashamed about it.
“Of all the people I know, it is expected that Watoad will say ‘cheese’ first.â€
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umm, your topic title has a spelling erorr. Ok, my question... Are there any secret stars in Super Mario Sunshine? I have 112, and i am so frustrated.
Orginized is my middle name.
Poorly is my first.
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Huh? And what spelling error? I think you meant to post in Aarom's help topic. Not sure though.
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Cows are like donuts, they are only good if you eat them.
Edited by - bigmariofan1.0 on 11/8/2005 6:18:10 PM
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Constantly throw yourself into social situations. Eventually you will grow out of your shyness and learn to conversate. You probably will have heavy anxiety pains doing it this way, and may have a strong want to chicken out, but just DO IT. It will work in time. Sooner you start, the better.
The animated House Musical.
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Did that work for you? It might work at a large school where you'll never see some of your "practice" people again, but I wouldn't risk it at a small school where it's mostly the same people and you'll consistently look like a moron to them.
"I've heard that imagining the person in their underwear helps"
I never got this to work either. It either makes you want to gag or get a stiffy, depending on who you're chatting with.
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Quitters never win, and winners never quit. But those who never win AND never quit are idiots.
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Hi bigmariofan1.0. I am a person. How is the weather.
Corn is no place for a mighty warrior!
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Now Bird Person, I can make a slight conversation, but the ones that last are the ones that I have a problem with.
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Cows are like donuts, they are only good if you eat them.
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I usually just talk about something that is interesting to me... Like, mario, communism,, or general stuff like music.
DRAGGING BEHIND YOU< THE SILENT REPROACH OF A MILLION TEAR-STAINED EYES....
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Uhh, there is. Unless you want to say "TaLKing advice", not "TaKing advice" then you do.
Anyways, back to questions.
Orginized is my middle name.
Poorly is my first.
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It has that name because I need talking advice, and that name made it more specific.
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Cows are like donuts, they are only good if you eat them.
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Ohhh, okay... My mistake.
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Orginized is my middle name.
Poorly is my first.
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The social stuff I was talking about doesn't necessarily mean school events. You can join some kind of club you don't even care about or even one that you do(a club that has regular meetings IRL, of course)! Perhaps some kind of youth center thing that has a "teenager" theme to it. It doesn't matter if it's something you want to attend or not, if there's a lot of people there, it'll do the job.
The animated House Musical.
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It's working! I'll get another chance to talk later on today, I'll post here later to tell if it works. :)
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Do you want my adivce? Stay silent when you don't know what to say in a situation. Better to be thought as an idiot at socializing than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
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... Good thinking! If you might not succeed at something, don't try at all!
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I say whatever I wnat in vocal conversations and never regret it, even if they dont like what I said. I dont regret it because I know that was me speaking about what I think, and not someone speaking for me.
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It worked! I'll keep on doing this and see if I get any better.
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Congratulations, BMF1! Keep it up. Now I was going to tell you something but maybe you don't want to hear it now. But I'll say it just in case you still want more advice (if you can call this advice). Here's what I had to say:
I think I might be able to help you a little with this, BMF1. I have some trouble making conversation with people as well (because I need more self confidence and experience), but I have a few tips for you if you want to hear them. I got this information in a great library book called “How to Make People Like You (in 90 Seconds or Less)” by Nicholas Bootman. Some of the book sounded kind of “out there”, but overall it had lots of good points. So many in fact that I wrote down several of them for myself, and I still have them today. I doubt that you will find all of these useful but here’s what I got:
(1) When getting ready to talk to someone: Line up your body with the person you are talking to, make Eye contant, Smile, and then give a friendly Hi. Show them pearly whites! Or corny yellows.
(2) Know what you want to get from your conversations (as far as what people think of your conversations with them), find out what you are getting from them, then change what you do until you get what you want. I’m not sure if I would ever try this.
(3) Open your heart to your listener (don’t cross your arms in front of your chest) so they don’t feel “shut off” from you.
(4) Thoughts = body language, so think positively about yourself and others and then you’ll act more confident. You have to first think good of yourself before you can of others.
(5) Match your voice tone and how fast you talk with that of your friend, and synchronize your body language with theirs so they unconsciously start to like you and don’t even know it. According to the book, 55% of people talk at a fast rate, 15% talk medium, and 30% talk slower and they prefer it if you talk the same speed they do.
(6) When describing things for people, find out if they are a visual, auditory, or kinesthic kind person so you can know the best methods to use (like describing the look, sound, or feel of things). And if you know this you can give people gifts that match their personalities, such as a CD for an auditory.
(7) Remember that 55% of what you say is based on visual (body signals), 38% is vocal (sounding confident), and 7% is verbal (what you actually say).
(IIX) Avoid closed questions that result in only a yes or no answer such as “Are you…?” ”Do you…?” and “Have you…?”. Instead ask “open questions” that start with who, when, what, why (the best one), where, and how.
(9) Speak from your abdomen to make your voice sound more appealing (I still don’t know how to do this).
(10) Give people something to remember you by. Like a certain little thing you occasionally say or do that is goofy or really thoughtful.
For some reason I can’t remember any of this stuff very often but maybe you’ll be able to. It just takes practice, experience, and getting your mind off of yourself long enough to learn about your friend. One of my favorite quotes from my pastor is “Each of us has two ears and one mouth because we should listen twice as much as we talk!” And with that I wish you good luck, and remember that nothing beats a simple “Hi” followed by the question “What’s new?” So… what IS UP with you?
And about that underwear thing, If I pictured people in their underwear I would probably start laughing nonstop and everyone would look at me like I was crazy. Or I might ask people what kind of underwear they’re wearing so I could get a better picture in my mind, and that would be even worse. Or maybe I would… not talk to people period. Because I can just imagine the look on your face right now and it’s not very assuring. XD
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Great Stuff YR ;D, I did know about some of that stuff, but it's still just as useful, also I am going to a short camp-out later on today, and I'll try that stuff out.