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Who knows, maybe this is a dumb idea--but as a member of this board, I feel duty-bound to liven this place up when there is a drought of fun topics. As you can see, I have attached my First-Post-Pictureâ„¢ up there to put you in a good, silly mood.
Now, here are the rules: You must share a personal video gaming secret. This means one thing: Nobody else knows about it. Once you share it, it will no longer be a secret. Okay?
But I'm not talking about "hold Down on the white platform and get a whistle" type secrets: Everyone knows those. I'm talking about secrets like the following--broadcast for the first time ever to you, the fine readers of TMK...
GAME: Mickey Mouse's Magical Quest. LEVEL: Fire.
It's been a good... well, ten years since I've played this game, but I can remember the secret clear as day. Mid-way through the level, there is a series of platforms above a lava pit. At this point, I invariably think of the cute girl named Allison from my third grade class and how I should buy her a phone to win her over. Why? Well, I remember the first time it happened: I must've been 9 years old... During this tricky maneuver, the stress had built up and my mind sort of released itself for a split second--like a bullet from the chamber--and the first place it went was Mickey Mouse merchandise. From there, I recalled a J.C. Penney catalog with an entire section dedicated to Mickey Mouse merchandise, and I remembered how expensive and therefore high-quality it must have been. I remembered the cute girl Allison having such things in her room--but she didn't have a phone. I knew from Clarissa Explains It All that girls LOVE phones, and that Allison would probably fall in love with me if I bought her an expensive Mickey Mouse phone, because girls also love things that match what they already have.
I promise you that, to this very day, if I were to play the Fire Level, I would unwilling think that thought--plucked straight from a 9-year-old's brain.
BONUS SECRET:
When my brother wonders aloud, "How the heck did our GameCube controllers go bad like that," and I respond, "I don't know," I am a BIG, FAT LIAR because I broke them myself during a frustrating SSBM match. Nobody suspects it, because they don't think I'm the type to throw things.