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« on: April 27, 2003, 03:55:17 PM »
Ok, this is the third fanfic I've written (Although the first I've posted) and the title is NOT simply because this is my third fanfic. It's because... well, read and you'll eventually find out!
If you take the time to read this, please comment on it. Good, bad, indifferent, I don't care. Be as complimentary and/or blunt as you'd like. Speak what you TRULY feel about this story.
It starts a bit ... cliché... but it gets more original as it goes on. Trust me.
Enough chat. I now present, for the first time EVER in legible handwriting, "The Third Attempt".
(This chapter took an hour and a half to type! Wow.)
Chapter 1: Bowser's Plan
It was a beautiful day in the Mushroom Kingdom. Actually, it had been raining for the last 3 days on end, and everyone was bored, but what exactly defines a "beautiful" day, anyways?
Among those people who had been affected negatively by the rain were the Mushroom Kingdom's popular heroes, Mario and Luigi.
"Do you think this rain will EVER stop?" Luigi asked his brother. The two had been running out of ideas for what they could do during the deluge and were obviously very bored.
"Do you honestly think I can control the weather?" Mario replied. "Besides, look! It's kind of starting to clear up! I think."
"You know, I kind of wish something interesting would happen." Luigi commented. "I mean, Bowser hasn't kidnapped the princess in ages, and it would certainly help curve this boredom..."
"Luigi, you HONESTLY want the princess to be kidnapped?" Mario replied with disgust. "You really want things to change? Rain is one thing, and the boredom will someday pass, but the consequences of such an event may be irreversible!"
Luigi almost laughed at this idea, showing a certain bravado that he rarely showed before. "Seriously, when was the last time Bowser did something that's actually WORKED?! We have nothing to worry about."
The famous brothers continued like this for hours. In fact, the rains had given everyone in the kingdom a bad mood. Well, almost everyone...
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Bowser paced back and forth in the grand hall of his castle. The constant rains enabled him to spend a great deal of time ruminating past events. His face showed an air of determination and anger.
"AAARGHH!" Bowser punched a wall in frustration. He put a rather large hole in it. "Why am I having such a hard time taking over the world? Why can't I ever succeed? I mean, every time I come up with this great idea, those meddling Mario brothers swoop in and ruin it for me! I've tried EVERYTHING!" Bowser was about to hit the wall again, but after seeing the vast damage he did with his last punch, he decided against it. "Why must I fail so miserably?"
Bowser was straining for ideas. The stress of falling flat on his face every time he tried to take over the Mushroom Kingdom had finally gotten to him. A MagiKoopa passed by the great hall after hearing the loud thud that came from Bowser punching the wall.
"MAGIKOOPA! GET OVER HERE!" Bowser's voice was quite vehement and authoritative. The MagiKoopa was rather frightened. He had been stealing coins from Bowser's personal vault while he wasn't looking and thought he had finally been caught.
"Yes?" The MagiKoopa came to Bowser. His voice was quivering and unconfident. He was quite scared.
"I have a dilemma." Bowser calmly explained his problem. He saw how frightened the MagiKoopa was, and not knowing about the stolen funds, thought it was due to his harsh tone. "You see, I have it all. Brute strength, total authority, a massive army of troops, charming good looks (The MagiKoopa strained to not laugh after this one), a stunning personality... and yet every time I try to take over the world, I fail miserably! It seems perfectly logical that with all the major strengths I have, it should be VERY easy for an enterprising tyrant like me to take over. But alas, no. I'm sure I'm missing something... do you have any advice?"
The MagiKoopa was taken aback by Bowser's inquiry. It seemed not at all like the King to ask for anyone's advice. He hesitated for a moment, cleared his throat, and began.
"While those are all VERY desirable traits you have *gulp*, I noticed that you failed to mention something VERY important. Something that, if you learned how to use, would provide a great deal of help for you in your conquest."
Bowser was curious. "I'm ... missing ..something? WHAT IS IT?" His question seemed to have an almost desperate feel.
"You didn't say anything about your intelligence," The MagiKoopa explained, "And if you'd just use that more often than mere force, you'd be go much more successful! More importantly, you need to form a PLAN!"
"Here, I'll show you what I mean by this." The MagiKoopa handed Bowser a sheet of paper. "Write down what you think a good plan to take over the world would be at this very instant."
Bowser seemed puzzled. He truly felt that a "plan" was quite unnecessary, and his strength should eventually triumph. However, he consented, and hastily scribbled something down on the paper.
Plan to take over the Mushroom Kingdom:
1. Capture/Kill the Mario brothers
2. Take over the world
The MagiKoopa looked at this with a certain inexpressible discontent. "See, sir, THAT'S your problem. You just go along and hope that you can solve all your problems when they come up. Then a force that you COULD have prevented comes in and ruins everything for you! What you need to do is take steps to prevent these unseen forces from interfering what your assaults. For example, Part 1. 'Capture/Kill the Mario Brothers'. How are you going to do this? You aren't just going to go to their house and say 'I'm here to Capture -slash- Kill you, ok?', are you? You need to lure them to your castle and deal with them there! How can you do that?"
Bowser had no problem answering that question. "Well, I'll kidnap the princess! I have no problem with that. I've done it many a time!"
"There we are!" The MagiKoopa seemed pleased that Bowser was finally thinking for himself. "First, you kidnap the princess. Then, when the Mario brothers inevitably come, we..." The MagiKoopa's voice trailed off. Bowser let out an evil gloat upon hearing the plan.
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Princess Peach paced nervously back and forth in her bedroom. She had a very worried look on her face. Toad saw this.
"What's wrong? You look ... upset." Toad saw the obvious despair the princess showed.
"I'm worried," The princess explained, "Bowser should have been here to kidnap me over 20 minutes ago! I fear that this time, he's plotting something evil, something truly devious..." She shuddered at the thought. "No one can imagine what Bowser could do if he only THOUGHT about how he wanted to take over the world!" She shuddered again.
"Maybe Bowser's given up on his dreams of world conquest?" Toad suggested. "In that case, we have nothing to fear!"
"No... Bowser's not the type to just give up..." The princess appeared a bit less worried that she had someone to talk with, but she was still uptight.
"Besides, we always have Mario in case the worst DID happen..." Toad said, "And he can do almost ANYTHING!"
"Yes.... I guess so... but still..."
All of a sudden, Bowser and his troops crashed (Quite literally; he went right through the ceiling) into the princess's bedroom. Bowser quite easily scooped up the princess and left rather hastily.
Toad shrieked. "Oh, dear! Princess..." Toad ran through the halls of the castle shouting "The princess has been kidnapped!" in a state of panic quite different than the mood he showed just minutes previous. The residents of the castle went into the bedroom to see the site of the kidnapping.
A chambermaid shrieked. "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! Look at that hole in the ceiling! How will we ever fix it?!?!?!"
"We have bigger problems now." Toad went off to inform the Mario brothers of the happening.
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The Mario brothers were STILL bickering about how the day could be more interesting. They failed to notice that, for the first time in three days, the rain had stopped. Suddenly, they heard a loud noise outside. The rushed to the window and saw Bowser in his Clown Copter flying rather closely to their house. They heard the princess shrieking "MARIOHALPME!!!!!!!" in a very high-pitched voice.
Bowser gloated and replied quite simply, "You want her back? You have to take ME down!" He flew off towards his castle.
"Come on, we've got no time to waste!" Mario stated the obvious. "Let's go!"
Luigi went along, thinking to himself. "Why does she only mention MARIO? It's always Mario, Mario, Mario. Mario help me. Mario save me. Mario do this. Mario do that. I'm SICK of being ignored." He didn't show this discontent, though.
The brothers got to Bowser's castle rather easily, for the kidnapping of the princess had become rather routine, and they'd practically memorized the route to the castle. They got to the castle. After entering, and easily taking out some of Bowser's forces positioned to attack the brothers after they had gotten to the castle, they saw Bowser alone in the great hall.
"WHERE IS SHE?" Mario demanded.
"Ha. Haha. HA!" Bowser gloated. "I hate to disappoint you... but... *Heh* (I've wanted to say this for so long now) The princess is in another castle!"
"WHERE IS SHE?" Mario repeated his demand in a similar tone.
"Heh. I gave her to one of my generals... I don't even know where she is now! Of course... you can go ahead and look throughout the castle for her all you want. Go on, check the dungeons. Check all you want. She's not here! I won't stop you, either!" Bowser showed a good deal of confidence in his statement.
"Mario... this sounds a bit... like a trick? Don't you think he's trying to deceive us?"
"Nonsense!" Mario discredited his brother's claim. "Bowser just isn't that smart..."
The two went (Despite Luigi's advice against it) down into Bowser's dungeons. They were dark, cold, and also ... rather empty. They saw nothing. There was no one in the cells.
"Maybe Bowser wasn't bluffing?" Mario proposed. "Maybe the princess really isn't here. Where would she be? I honestly wouldn't know--"
Suddenly, a horde of Bowser's troops stormed into the narrow halls of the dungeon. Mario and Luigi soon realized they were vastly outnumbered. They had little chance for escape, and their options were quickly dwindling.
They had fallen into Bowser's cleverly prepared trap.
Congratulations! You have just been blessed by the wisdom of Steve.