You know that line your not meant to cross?
For me, that's the starting line.
PROSTITUTE JOKE TIME
If you have sex with a prostitute without her permission, is it r--screw it, that joke is the oldest prostitute joke out there.
I slept with one of those 'high class' prostitutes the other week. I'm not happy though, the ***** gave me lobsters.
A man staying at a hotel removed a card offering sexual services from a nearby phone box. Back in his hotel room he rang the number and a woman with a silky soft voice asked if she could be of assistance.
"Yes" he said. "I'd like a doggie in bondage gear, leather, PVC, whips, the lot. And then some hardcore spanking, rounded off with a blow job. What do you think?"
The woman said, "That sounds really good and I'd like to oblige, but if you press 9 first you'll get an outside line."
A man on his way home from the pub decides to take a short-cut through an unlit park.
A woman approaches him and offers to **** his brains out for £5.
The man thinks to himself that this is a chance too good to miss, so hands over the £5.
She leads him into a bush and they get under way.
A policeman happens to pass by, hears them at it and notices the bush shaking.
He approaches, shines his torch on the pair and asks the man what he's doing.
The man replies calmly, "I'm just having sex with my wife, officer. Do you mind?"
The officer responds, "I'm sorry, sir, I didn't realise it was your wife."
The man quickly replies, "That's quite alright, officer - until you shone your torch on her face, neither did I."