Paper Mario: Luigi's Ancestor (The Fan Fiction)

[minkbob]

Chapter One - The Rebirth of Luigi's Ancestor
One dark night, Luigi was wandering home from a mansion.  He had Nitro Honey Syrup that he purchased from Ratooey, the businessman.  He tripped over a rock and spilled the honey syrup on the grave of his dead ancestor. His ancestor came back to life and followed him all the way home.
To be continued . . .

Edited by - minkbob on 7/1/2005 6:17:13 AM

[minkbob]

Chapter Two - Bobbery Ahoy!
One month later . . .
Luigi says, "Aah, I need my TV antenna on my roof, but I can't leave the house because of this dead ancestor!"  Then, Luigi goes into the basement.  He realizes that there is a window in the basement.  He tries to jump out of it and hits the ground fifteen times before realizing that he is underground.
Then, Bobbery's ship, the S.S. Scarlette, runs over the ancestor.  Bobbery yells, "Ahoy, mateys! What was that I ran over?"
Luigi yells, "My ancestor!" Luigi starts mourning the loss of family history.

Edited by - minkbob on 7/1/2005 6:17:32 AM

[minkbob]

Chapter 3 - Old Friends, New Adventure
Bobbery invites Mario on his ship.  Mario and Luigi walk onto the ship.  Mario's partners from Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door all pop out.  Luigi says, "To Glitzville!" Mario asks, "Why to Glitzville?"  Luigi answers, "For more Nitro Honey Syrup!"  Goombella says, "Glitzville is in the sky, you know, Luigi."  Bobbery says, "Well, let's go to Rogueport now."  Bobbery sails to Rogueport.
Bobbery yels, "Land ho!"  Everyone gets off the ship.  Everyone gets in the blimp.
One day later, they arrive in Glitzville.  Everyone swarms Mario, yelling, "The Great Gonzalez is back! Yeah! Jumpman!"  

[minkbob]

Chapter 3B
Just as Mario and friends arrive, Rawk Hawk exits the Glitz Pit.  Rawk Hawk says, "Welcome back, Gonzales! Where have you been all this time?"  Luigi drags Mario away from Rawk Hawk and says, "Ehm, please excuse us..."  Luigi yells, "What the heck are you thinking?!"  Mario says, I couldn't keep him from coming out, you know, Luigi?"  Koops tells Mario, "I'm hungry! Can we get a hot dog?"  Mario responds, "Sure thing!"  They walk over to the hot dog stand.  Mr. Hoggle says, "Would you like a hot dog, Mario?"  Mario answers, "Actually, Koops would."  Mr. Hoggle says, "20 Coins, please, then."  Mario answers, "I only have five.  I'll ask Luigi if he has any more."  Mario walks up to Luigi, who asks, "Do you need more money or something?"  Mario says, "Yes, 15 Coins, please."  Luigi loans him the money, and he goes back to the stand.  Mario hands over the money.  Hoggle gives Mario the hot dog.  Koops eats it and says, "Delicious! Thanks, Mario, and of course Luigi!"  Then Luigi yells, "There's Ratooey!"  Luigi runs up and asks for some Nitro Honey Syrup.  Ratooey says, "Sorry, all out. Try coming back tomorrow."  Bobbery says, "Bad luck, matey. Let's come back tomorrow."
2 B continued...

[minkbob]

Chapter 3C
Luigi emerges from a hotel which appeared from nowhere.  He screams, "THIS PLACE IS A RIPOFF TOURIST TRAP!" Hoggle says, "Oh, you noticed huh?" Luigi looks confused when Hoggle says, "Ripping people off is a work of fine art! Ahahaha!!!" Luigi says, "Oh yeah? I'll donate this work of art to a certain owl!"  Then Rawk Hawk shows up and beats the living @&$# out of Luigi for preferring Blathers over him.  Then Blathers beats the living $^%! out of Rawk Hawk and drags him off to Officer Copper.  Then Miyamoto beats the nonliving &%*@ out of the Shadow Sirens for no reason at all.  Then Luigi says, "THAT'S ENOUGH!!! Now, what did you want to say?"  Hoggle tells Luigi to read the menu.
Luigi reads: "Cheese Dog: 5 Coins
Hot Dog: 10 Coins
Fat Dog: 15 Coins
Spicy Fat Dog: 20 Coins
Pepsi: 1 Coin"
Luigi yells, "THAT DOES IT, BUSTER! Besides, I far prefer Coke."
So Luigi is beating up Hoggle when his phone rings.  Mario is on the other end, and asks why Koops is puking. Luigi says, "Well, I got him a Spicy Fat Dog by mistake." Mario says, "Well, what's IN a Spicy Fat Dog?"
Hoggle answers, "Some of Ratooey's Hot Sauce, more meat than usual, and a bun.  That's it." Luigi relays this to Mario, who asks, "Well, why is Koops puking?"  Hoggle answers, "Don't you know that Koopa Troopas are allergic to Hot Sauce?"
Mario yells, "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT EARLIER?"
Hoggle answers, "Well, you didn't tell me who the hot dog was FOR..."
End of chapter!
Side note: The Shadow Queen has actually been reborn, so get to work, Mario!"
Luigi: What the heck is with Hoggle?!

[minkbob]

Chapter Four - Back to Petal Meadows
Mario asks, "Why did you take us here, Goombella?"  Goombella responds, "You need the Crystal Stars, don't you, Mario? This is where you got the Diamond Star."  Mario goes down the pipe to Petal Meadows, FINALLY.  Mario goes, "Back here at last! I haven't smelled fresh air for a while..."  Goombella says, "Let's hurry up and get the Crystal Star."  Mario runs into the next acre of land.  Goombella asks, "Mario, you remember how to fight, don't you?"  Mario nods and says, "Yes, I do.  Why wouldn't I?"  Mario walks forward a few steps and runs into a Spiky Goomba.  Goombella says, Oh, great.  A battle.  Well, at least it's not as bad..."  Mario enters the arena revealing a Spiky Goomba and a Paragoomba.  Goombella says, "You obviously remember these guys from Rogueport Sewers in your last adventure.  I'm glad to be away from that town.  Besides, the town stunk, and so did the sewers." Mario hammers the Spiky Goomba.  The Spiky Goomba yells, "YOWCH! X_X" Goombella says, "It's my move now!"  Goombella Headbonks the Paragoomba, who says, "Hey, my wings got clipped! YOW! X_X"  Mario gains 6 Star Points.  Goombella hands Mario a portable teleporter, and he teleports himself to Petalburg.  Koops says, "Home sweet home!"
To be continued...

[minkbob]

Chapter 4B
Suddenly, the Mario brothers see a funeral procession about to hit them.  Luigi pulls an NES controller out of his pocket and pushes a button.  Suddenly, the Marios are in a AE 86 Toyota Corolla.  The music from Initial D, Episode 1, with the tofu delivery, starts playing.  Luigi then passes the rest of the funeral procession.  Mario asks, "Where did you learn to drive like that, Luigi?"  Luigi responds, "I just finished watching all of Initial D." Mario asks, "WHY?" Luigi replies, "My TV antenna was broken, remember?"   The Marios see a big banner on Mayor Kroop's house reading "Farewell Kroop!"  Mario figures out whose funeral it is.
At the end of the procession, a Toad gets out of a limo and says, "Yep, it's Kroop's funeral.  We all loved him dearly and wish we still had him, but he was an old Koopa.  His time had come." The Corolla rams into the Toad's limo.  Luigi says, "Uh oh..." Mario says, "IDAHO!"  The Toad's butler kicks the Corolla and says, "YEOUCH! MY FOOT!"  Luigi gets out and the car and song disappar.  The Toad says, "Whatever. Anyway, let's get to the important part: electing the new mayor. Will our two candidates please step forward."
Koops and Mario step forward.  Koops says, "Uh...uh...uh..."  Koops passes out from embarrassment.  Mario says, "It's-a me, Mario, savior of Princess Peach-a! Vote-a for me-a!"  Two Toads pop up and start waving red flags with Mario's face on them.  Bowser pops up out of nowhere.  Luigi yells, "I'm-a Luigi! Vote for me-a!"  Bowser says, "Quit it, both of you.  I'm Bowser, King of the Koopas.  Vote me, or I'll flamebreath you."

[minkbob]

Chapter 4C:
Koopie Koo shows up and asks, "Why is Koops dead?"  Mario, Luigi, and Bowser (?!) shout, "He's not dead! He just passed out from embarrassment." Koopie Koo says, "Oh! And also, do you know who gets elected if the town gets the Diamond Star?"  Koops finally gets back up, says, "I see stars," and passes out again.  Mario gets 29 votes, Koops gets 1 vote, Luigi gets 1 vote, and Bowser gets 5 votes.  Bowser yells, "It's flamebreath time!"  Everyone, including Koops, pushes Bowser into the town lake.  Bowser almost drowns, then realizes his feet are touching the bottom and climbs out.  Mario steps up to the podium and says, "I'd love to be your mayor, but I need to save the world again.  Maybe Koopie Koo should be the mayor. Oh, and where is the Crystal Star?"  

[minkbob]

Chapter 4D
Luigi pushes the other button on the NES controller.  A Nissan Skyline GT-R pops up.  Mario and Luigi get in.  Another Toad butler pops up, kicks the car, and yells "YEOUCH! MY FOOT!" Luigi says, "Serious deja vu..."  Mario says, "I have to agree, Luigi."  Luigi stops concentrating because he is playing Kingdom of Loathing on his Blackberry.  Mario goes, "Concentrate here, Luigi!"  Luigi says, "What? I'm in Fernswarthy Tower fighting a Brainsweeper!"  Mario goes, "I hate it when you're like this, Luigi! There's no way of getting you out of this mode - besides THIS!"  Mario swipes the Blackberry from Luigi, logs off, types in a username and password, and logs on as his Level 4 Seal Clubber. Luigi puts the car in Drive and drives into the other side of Petalburg.  Mario goes, "Finally! Some peace and quiet around here!"  Luigi stops the car just before hitting the gate.  Mario yells, "Luigi!"  Mario kicks Luigi into the passenger seat, gets in the driver's seat, and drives into the lake.  Mario and Luigi swim out, then realize that the car is on the surface and that the Blackberry is still in the car.  The Marios swim out to the car, get the Blackberry out, and dry it with Fire Flower dust.  It still works.  Mario says, "Whew! We still had 18 months on our contract!"  Luigi calls his car insurance on the Blackberry.  Mario says, "Oh brother," and whips out his Handspring Treo, which he got from Ye Olde Toad's Cellphone Shoppe.  Mario text messages Princess Peach: "Oh brother, what is with Luigi today?"  Luigi gets his call returned: "Okay, it'll cost you 10 extra Coins on your next bill, Luigi.  Just tell us where it is, and we'll bring in a helicopter to get it out."  Luigi says, "Also we have a wrecked Corolla GT."  "Sure, that'll cost you another 10 Coins.  We'll send in the same helicopter.  As long as the damage isn't too bad, we can do it."  Mario thinks, "Luigi is getting plain ridiculous."  Mario gets a text message back from Princess Peach, saying: "Okay, Mario, I bought you a vacation home on Isle Delfino.  Ever since you got rid of Bowser, things have been going well there. End of message." Luigi says, "Well, the helicopter got the car now." Mario looks up to see a helicopter airlifting the water-filled car.  Luigi says, "Oh, I got a text message!"  Mario has a nerdy Toad skydive out of the helicopter.  You know he's nerdy because he has books on his head instead of dots.  Luigi reads the text message and says, "uh huh, uh huh...That's the way, uh huh, uh huh, I like it!"  Mario slaps Luigi in the face and says, "Luigi, stop acting up today!"  The nerdy Toad reads the text message and says, "The sinus of pi equals X times Y." Luigi says, "Huh?"  The Toad says, "I think Peach loves you."  Luigi yells, "I FAR PREFER DAISY!"  Daisy comes skydiving out of the helicopter once it returns.  Luigi realizes he was just seeing things.  Mario looks up at the helicopter.  Luigi says, "Isn't she lovely?"  Mario slaps Luigi, and Luigi passes out.  A helicopter picks Luigi up, and he's off to the hospital.  Mario says, "Great, he ditched me.  I'll get Luigi once he regains consciousness!"  Mario sees a helicopter with a picture of a Pianta with a TV camera.  Mario says, "It's the Isle Delfino news crew! But why are they in Petalburg?"  Mario realizes they were on a world tour filming various locales.  Mario hides behind a tree because he has stage fright.  He realizes he isn't on a stage.  He realizes he has cameraphobia.  He realizes it's not a picture camera, it's a TV camera!  Mario pops out and does his classic thumbs-up and "It's-a me, Mario!"  

Now with more mink!

[minkbob]

Ummm bump

[The Chef]

Sorry, but this isn't much of a fan-fic.

[fuzzy]

Just a silly story if you ask me, which you didn't.