Author Topic: BORED-mk2 Super Crisis Helsinki 2013 (Read 8100 times)

The Chef · « **Reply #15 on:** August 08, 2006, 08:54:32 AM »

The Chef: Apparently no-one cares about my characters.

Rob-Bert: What's wrong with us?

Hazie: Do we offend? *sniffs armpit*

Blue Glorb: booblybooble

Fuzzle: This sucks.

Cranium: I concur. Roshan did not even hear our request.

The Chef: I jsu thope I don't have to stop posting here.

All: *gulp*

Chupperson Weird · « **Reply #16 on:** August 08, 2006, 11:29:46 PM »

Problem is, The Chef introduced too many random characters, and all at the same time. I'll post a continuation when it's not necessary for me to sleep.

Jman · « **Reply #17 on:** August 09, 2006, 01:44:50 PM »

Now, as a special bonus, our next contestant, Ron Piccalo, will eat a live rat for our own amusement. But he doesn't know that it's not for money.

Ron: I'd better be getting paid good money for this! *lifts the rat to his mouth*

Suddenly, a random gun blast shot the rat out of his hand.

Ron: What the heck? That was the million dollar rodent!

A shadow came out from behind the alley's resident pinball machine.

It was Tony Silverball.

Tony: Kid, you seem to be really bored if you're eating a rat for money. I think it's time you found a real hobby.

Ron: But eating random, disgusting things is my hobby! These animals are real!

Then, 300 man sized rats hopped out from the sewer hole, and I sat back and laughed.

Tony: Let's see you eat one of these guys! *runs off to play more pinball.*

Ron: Oh goody. *stabs one rat with a fork which, without explanation, appeared in the sky.*

Tony: *singing* He's a pinball wizard, there has to be a twist!

Ron: *stabs the rat in its other leg.*

Instead of getting weary, the rat only becomes angrier and rips Ron to shreds.

HOW WILL PLAYING PINBALL SAVE TONY FROM THE JAWS OF DEATH???

HOW DID 300 RATS BECOME LIFE-SIZE, ANYWAY???

WAS THIS MY FIRST SUCCESSFUL BORED POST???

Tony: Save me, Roshan!

Suffix · « **Reply #18 on:** August 09, 2006, 09:59:30 PM »

<comment>Listen up, people. Even though Jman's post was actually funny, you aren't quite getting the picture. Perhaps you didn't read Insane Steve's 100% explicit post. And I quote:

The most important thing to remember is that BORED is meant to be random.
Billy: Oooooooh! *posts random tripe that doesn't follow the plot at all*
CDVA: Now, Billy, that's not what I meant there. (moron)

"Now, random is good. However, random doesn't mean going off on your own tangents! This ruined a few BOREDs in the past. Make sure your posts contribute to the plot somehow! They don't have to make sense, but at least continue the story instead of branching into a pointless sub-plot. Read the earlier BORED threads to see examples."

Chupperson has decreed that his masterpiece will now be genetically engineered. The Chef got his one waste of space. Jman... Well, I hate to call that fairly amusing piece a waste of space, but it's not for BORED. Genetic engineering means, "death to you all!" And now back to the story.
</comment>

-------------------------------------------ENDTRANSMISSION-------------------------------------------

Narrator: We find our duo underground, at the Z=0 level!

CW: This is exactly like one of the Super Mario Sunshine glitches that have reached the mailbag. One of the many, I--

Roshan: ...

CW: Stop interrupting me! Oh, look, a big ol' remote!

Remote: I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL PAYPERVIEW REMOTE! Gimme a quarter, and I might help you.

CW: As a matter of fact, we do need some fish. It's rather deep and dark and whatnot.

Roshan: I want gold! Not fish! *gives quarter* O Great and Powerful Payperview Remote! What wonders will thy work?

CW: *whisper*jonanderson*/whisper*

Remote: *poof*

Jon Anderson: Hekids! Sae YES t'not ooting maet!

Remote: *disappears*

Narrator: JON ANDERSON used FLASH!

CW: Incredible! We're saved! We can see the innards of the hills and ground! Z=0 never looked so nice!

Roshan: Oh my jigloyarns...

WHAT SORT OF AWESOMENESS WILL ANDERSON BRING?
WHY DID CHUPPERSON SO ENTHUSIASTICALLY SUMMON HIM?
WHAT IS SO EXCITING THAT PROMPTED ROSHAN TO USE CRUDE LANGUAGE AT THE END?

Koopaslaya · « **Reply #19 on:** August 09, 2006, 10:20:41 PM »

Narrarator: Welcome back! To Recap, we find our friends trapped in ground! Z=0. CW and Roshan have gained a new powerfull ally, Jon Anderson. They are still on the quest for the cartoons, and Rashon is still trying to get even with his brother. But, where is MMM?

::: BACK AT THE CONVENTION :::

MMM: FINALLY I HAVE ROSHAN'S CARTOONS!!!

ZAP!!

???: Ah ha! I see that you have tried to steal my brother's cartoons. All for not, MMM, you are now a pile of dust.

:::At Z=0:::

Roshan: I have a bad feeling about this...

CW: What do you have to worry about? We just need to get the remote to telelport us back to the convention, and we'll have those cartoons!

Narrarator: Suddenly, a anvil falls from the sky.

Jon Anderson: Alas, I am now dead.

CW: Remote, teleport us ba--

Narrarator: Ah ha ha, CW, the Remote was crushed along with Jon Anderson!

HOW WILL OUR HEROS GET THE CARTOONS?
WHY DOES ??? HAVE THE CARTOONS?
WILL MMM EVER RETURN FROM THE PILE OF DUST?

TEM · « **Reply #20 on:** August 10, 2006, 11:54:41 AM »

Narrator: Oh boy, plot twists!

///CONVENTION///

Random Nerdiotype: Yeah that episode was... *cough* *hack*

Less Nerdiotype: What's wrong?

R. Nerdiotype: I kicked up this pile of dust and inhaled it into --- Oh no! My Brain! AAAAHHHHH!

///Level Z=0///

Narrator: You guys are so stuck here.

Roshan: Okay that's it! *jumps on Narrator*

///The Far Reaches of Japan///

Roy: (My spider-sense is tingling.)

IS JON ANDERSON REALLY DEAD?
WHY AM I BRINGING HIM UP AFTER NOT MENTIONING HIM IN MY ITERATION?
WHY DOES ROY HAVE SPIDER-SENSE?
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Insane Steve · « **Reply #21 on:** August 10, 2006, 12:18:02 PM »

Narrator: Ow! That hurt!
Roshan: Yea. I won't do it any more if you let us out of here.
Narrator: Ok, fine.

--------Level Z=-1--------

CW: Negative 1?!
Narrator: Ha! *runs*
Roshan: Oh, wonderful.
CW: YOU'RE the one who jumped on that guy! You have no right to complain.

--------MEANWHILE, IN JAPAN--------

Roy: (Ya, something's definitely wrong. Something. Or something.)
Psychotic Japanese Guy: Looooook! Is Orangu Yoshi!
Other Psychotic Japanese Guy: Oragnu Yoshi! Where is?
Psychotic Japanese Guy: Is right there! Loooooook! *chases after Roy*
Roy: (Oh, great.) *runs*

--------MEANWHILE--------

???: Hahaha! I got the Roshan cartoons! And our evil Narrator spy person has trapped those punks in LEVEL Z=NEGATIVE ONE. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Disposable Minion #4958340958390853: Wait, wasn't there some orange Yoshi or something with them?
???: Relax, he's in Japan. Someone there will do some psychotic Japanese thing to him.
Disposable Minion #4958340958390853: Ah.....
???: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Disposable Minion #4958340958390853: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
???: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Disposable Minion #4958340958390853: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
???: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Disposable Minion #4958340958390853: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

WILL OUR HEROES BE ABLE TO ESCAPE FROM LEVEL Z=-1?
WILL ROY BE ABLE TO ESCAPE THE PSYCHOTIC JAPANESE GUYS?
WILL THE VILLIANS BE ABLE TO ESCAPE THEIR BOUT OF MANAICAL LAUGHTER?
WILL THIS STORY BE ABLE TO ESCAPE FROM NONSENSICAL ADD-ONS?

FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON:

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BORED

The Chef · « **Reply #22 on:** August 10, 2006, 08:35:54 PM »

~Level Z -1~

Roshan: So now what are we supposed to do?

CW: Find our way out of here.

Roshan: There IS no way out. No doors, no windows, no air vents, no cracks in the ceiling or floor.

CW: So it's safe to say we're going to die?

Roshan: Unfortuantely, yes. I'll get you yet, 'Narrator'!!!!!!!

~Meanwhile, in Japan~

Roy: (Aaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!)

Psycotic Japanese Guys: Orangu Yoshi!!!!

~Meanwhile, in whereever ??? is currently located~

???: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Disposable Minion #4958340958390853: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA-- *hack* *dies*

???: HAHAHAHAHA... huh? Ah well, guess it's time to call in the next disposable minion.

Disposable Minion #4958340958390854: Here I am, sir!

???: OK. Your first mission is to go fetch me a Tall Cold One.

Disposable Minion #4958340958390854: Yes sir!

~Meanwhile, in the middle of nowhere~

Rob-Bert: Hopefully this will be my chance to shine. I must find the legendary reality-bending Blue Tomato in order to save Roshan!

Real Narrator(The Chef): Well don't screw it up. The Fake Narrator that imprisoned ROshan is after the Tomato too.

-Will Roshan get his revenge on the Fake Narrator?
-Will Roy ever get away from the Psychotic Japanese Guys?
-Will Disposable Minion #4958340958390854 succeed in retrieving ???'s Tall Cold One?
-Will Rob-Bert find the Blue Tomato in time to recue Roshan and CW?
-Is this enough questions?

Find out on the next exciting episode of..... BORED-mk2 Super Crisis Helsinki 2013!!!

~And now a word from Man-Frog...~

Man-Frog: Ribbitstuff..

Suffix · « **Reply #23 on:** August 10, 2006, 11:08:58 PM »

Narrator: I'm the master! No mere mortal and narrate a story!

Roshan: So, I found a Blue Tomato. In my back pocket. Tomatoes aren't usually blue, how 'bou--

CW: Gimme! *holds aloft* I got nothing.

Blue Tomato: *fizzpoppoof*

Narrator: Behold! The Blue Tomato seriously did bend reality! Their position on the Z axis has been REVERSED! They are now at Z=1, which means...

Roshan: We're outside the hiiiillll! And sitting on top of it. Things are looking up.

???: Look what Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii haaaaaave!

::MEATWHILE::

Roy: Oh man, this beef whateveritis is awesome.

Orangu Yoshi: Sam suff, eh?

Suffix: That's almost to par, Chef.

::MEANWHILE::

WILL ??? REVEAL HIS IDENTITY?
DOES HE HAVE THE STOLEN CARTOONS WITH HIM? OR ARE THEY A DECOY, LIKE, ROY CARTOONS?
WILL YOU CAPITALIZE THE FINAL QUESTIONS?
WILL YOU REALIZE THAT THE QUESTIONS ARE FINAL AND REQUIRE NOTHING AFTERWARD? EXCEPT PERHAPS A SHORT FIND OUT NEXT TIME?

Koopaslaya · « **Reply #24 on:** August 10, 2006, 11:21:25 PM »

???'s IDENTITY HAS ALREADY BEEN REVEALED!!!

Suffix · « **Reply #25 on:** August 11, 2006, 02:24:31 PM »

*to the protagonists

The Chef · « **Reply #26 on:** August 11, 2006, 04:29:20 PM »

The Chef: Let's see if I can make this better.

~On top of the hill~

???: I have a dollar!

Roshan: That's great.

CW: You want a cookie?

???: No, but I do want to know how you escaped.

Roshan: We used this. *holds up Blue Tomato*

???: That Tomato is blue!!

CW: Thank you, Captain Obvious.

Captain Obvious: Anytime, good citizen. *flies off*

???: Just where did you get it anyway!?

Rob-Bert: Well, actually, it was me who sent it to them.

???: And why the heck did you want to save Roshan!?

Rob-Bert: I'm a big cartoon fan, OK?

Roshan: Enough talk, just tell us where my cartoons are!

???: Never!

CW: Then I guess it's time for a long, drawn-out fight scene!

???: Bring it on!

~Meanwhile in Japan~

Roy: (Why the heck are you chasing me anyway?)

Psycho Japanese Guys: We dunno.

Roy: (OK, so how bout you just stop chasing me and I can get back to my master?)

PJGs: OK.

Roy: (Good. Sayonara and stuff.Now all I have to do is find Roshan.)

~Meanwhile in the middle of Nowhere~

The Chef: Did I do good this time Suffix?

Man-Frog: Am I a good character?

The Chef: Shut up.

WILL ROSHAN, CW AND ROB-BERT DEFEAT ??? AND RECLAIM THE STOLEN CARTOONS?
WILL ROY EVER BE REUNITED WITH ROSHAN?
WILL THE CHEF EVER WRITE A PART THAT SUFFIX THINKS IS GOOD?
IS MAN-FROG A GOOD CHARACTER?

FIND OUT ON THE NEXT EPISODE OF YOU-KNOW-WHAT!

Chupperson Weird · « **Reply #27 on:** August 12, 2006, 01:35:41 AM »

Man-Frog: RAAAAAAAR
???'s minions: *surround*
CW: Dang it, now we're surrounded by ???'s minions. Try saying "???" three times fast.
Roshan: ??? ??? ???
CW: I said, try saying "???" three times fast!
Roshan: ...

*JAPAN*
Roy: (I've been flying around this same building for three hours now. What's with that?)

*HILL*
CW: If I ever get out of here, I've thought of giving it all away, to a registered charity.
???: Giving what away?
CW: Oh, I dunno, maybe some beef jerky. jerkyJerkyJERKY

*MEATWHILE*
jerkyJerkyJERKY
Roy: *gets hit with sound of jerkyJerkyJERKY* (BWAHHHHHHH!!!!!!)

*HILL*
CW: Hey, what's that, up in the distance?
Roshan: Looks like... a ... black yoshi?
Airplane: *runs into Black Yoshi*
Black Yoshi: NOO NOT AGAIN
Roy: *flies down to the top of the hill with incredible speed* (Hey, guys.)
Roshan: Excellent. Now let's get out of here.
Roshan and Roy: *fly away*
CW: Hey guys... I think... you forgot something... *looks around*
???: NOW YOU SHALL FEEL MY WRATH! GIANT SQUIRREL ATTACK
GIANT SQUIRREL: *ATTACK*
CW: *transforms like Optimus Prime into Chuppersman*
Chuppersman: Hoochoochoochoochoo *awesome kung fu moves* HAMASAKA!
Man-Frog: Why did I have to open my big mouth?

WHY DID MAN-FROG HAVE TO OPEN HIS BIG MOUTH?
WILL ROSHAN FIND THE CARTOONS?
WILL CHUPPERSMAN FIND MMM AND ROSHAN?
Roy: (What about me?)
WHAT ABOUT ROY, ANYWAY?

FIND OUT!

The Chef · « **Reply #28 on:** August 12, 2006, 09:14:42 AM »

-Hill-

Rob-Bert: Cool! I get to watch a giant robot/monster fight scene!

*Chuppersman punches Giant Squirrel square in the nose*

Rob-Bert: Uh-oh. Looks like he's coming straight down.

Man-Frog: TIMBER!!

The Chef: Will you shut up!?

*KO'd Giant Squirrel lands o n Black Yoshi, killing him.*

Man-Frog: Oh my god! He killed Black Yoshi!

The Chef: Good work, Captain Obvious.

Captain Obvious: Just doin' my job. *flies off*

*Chuppersman changes back into CW*

CW: So how do we find Roshan?

Rob-Bert: We use this! *holds up Blue Tomato*

CW: Ok then....

Blue Tomato: *zap*

-Meatwhile-

Roshan: These burgers are good.

Roy:(Next time, you're paying.)

-Elsewhiles-

???: Little do they know that the fastfood joint where they got those burgers was actually mine! The burgers they just ate conatined secret trackng devices. Now I will destroy them and they'll NVER get those cartoons! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Man-Frog: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

???: How the heck did you get here!?

WILL THE BLUE TOMATO HELP ROB AND CW FIND ROSHAN AND ROY?
WILL ???'s EVIL PLAN WORK?
WHERE ARE THE ROSHAN CARTOONS?
HOW THE HECK DID MAN-FROG GET IN HERE?

FIND OUT ON...... never mind.

Suffix · « **Reply #29 on:** August 12, 2006, 02:37:35 PM »

Narrator: Down in the depths of the virtual world, where people are not meant to go...

*/ Z = -1 /*

CW: Gee whiz, I was hoping the Blue Tomato would be a little less predictable.

Narrator: Oh, but it was! The area was not truely Z = -1, it was Z = -2!

CW : Great, we're further underground than last time. Rob-Bert, you had better be more careful with this produce of yours. Would you happen to have a Blue Carrot? Or something?

Rob-Bert: No, but I do have this Blue Broccoli. But... Uh... you can't have it. And we can't use it.

CW: Avast, ye scurvy doge! 'Tis mine! *holds up Blue Broccoli*

Rob-Bert: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO--

Female Voice: Welcome, Rob-Bert, to your secret lair!

Narrator: Down in the previously greyness, a light appears! 'Tis a door! Will you ENTER DOOR or LOOK DOOR?

CW: ENTER DOOR

*cue evil march music*

Rob-Bert: It's not what you thi--

CW: Oh. No.

Narrator: And up on the balcony of a posh apartment, CW beheld a terrible sight: Rows and rows of conveyor belts, with line after line of MAN-FROGS!

Rob-Bert: You've seen too much. Now I'll have to make a pizza out of you. Which is a euphemism for saying I'm going to have to make you into an inanimate object, but one with no--

Tall Man with Cape: I hereby order you to cease and desist all construction within MY PROPERTY!

CW: Oh no, another supervillian!

'Tall Man with Cape: 'Tis I, Vlagranian! 9TH TOENAIL! COME AND DETAIN THESE FOOLS! Mwa, ha, ha!

Man-Frog #1037: Are you kidding?

SO MANY HAPPENINGS, CAN I COMPREHEND THE COMPLEXITY OF WHAT JUST HAPPENED?
WILL YOU?
WILL YOU ALSO HAVE TO CONDUCT SOME RESEARCH?