Author Topic: (insert adjective here) stories (Read 87086 times)

Lizard Dude · « **Reply #225 on:** September 08, 2007, 05:05:06 AM »

Tonight a miracle happened. I looked out my kitchen window, and The Light was off.

For the last year, the upstairs window of the house straight across from mine (4th spike from the left) has always been brightly aglow. You couldn't tell while the Flame Orb ruled the sky, glaring down upon us and burning my skin like the lava in Metroid, but you could tell during the night. And I'm no stranger to night (like look at the time this was posted). That light was always on. I never saw a person in there, either. But the light was always on.

Tonight it is off.

Maybe they finally found the corpse?

Jman · « **Reply #226 on:** September 08, 2007, 11:36:35 PM »

Finally, someone has found the evidence. Hopefully my handprints have faded out by now.

Vidgmchtr · « **Reply #227 on:** September 11, 2007, 05:33:05 PM »

This story shall follow a timestamp format. Note any bold text and keep it in mind.

10:10 AM
My father busts through the front door, telling me to wake up. I do so, and as I dress, he constantly says to hurry, and threatens to leave without me, but is shown to be lying when his cell phone rings.
"You're a TERRIBLE liar." I said from my room.

10:15 AM
We get into his Mustang. We drive to the high school where my sister still attends, as her classes have finished.

10:20 AM
We pick up my sister, and then drive to the college I attend. As we do so, my father asks me when my classes will end today. I reply:
"5:25. I might have a ride home, though. Tell mom that she should wait for me to call first."

10:30 AM
I'm dropped off. I take my books and horn out of the Mustang and it drives away. I walk to the building I need to be in in half an hour.

11:00 AM
My class starts.

12:15 PM
My class ends. I go to the student center building and rest there for an hour and 45 minutes, as my next class wouldn't be until 2.

2:00 PM
My next class.

3:15 PM
That class ends, and I wait in the student center for band class to start at 4.

4:00 PM
Band starts.

5:00 PM
Apparently, by this time, my father had called my mother to pick me up. At 5:15. Ugh...

5:20 PM
The conductor ends class about 5 minutes early. A friend of mine looks at me and gives a "you need a ride?" gesture. I nod (because I do not know my mother has been waiting outside in one of tha parking lots for 5 minutes) and we leave.

5:45 PM
We get to my house after getting gas.

As I entered the door, I settled down my things, and hear the phone ring. I answer it, and my father is on the other end:
"Hello?"
"Mike?"
"Yes?"
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HOME WITHOUT TELLING US? YOU IDIOT, MOM HAS BEEN WAITING IN THE PARKING LOT FOR YOU!"
"WHAT? WHY DID YOU TELL HER TO PICK ME UP? I SAID I'D CALL IF I NEEDED A RIDE!"
"I TOLD HER YOU NEEDED A RIDE AND TOLD HER TO WAIT THERE AT 5:15!"
"THAT ISN'T WHAT I TOLD YOU TO TELL HER. I said if I needed a ride home, I'D CALL FIRST."

This led to us shouting over each other and him hanging up on me. I called back and told him to never do that again, and asked for an apology for calling me an idiot when I was not the one at fault. He hung up again. I redialed, and didn't get an answer from him again.

So, yeah, pretty annoyed right now.

Lizard Dude · « **Reply #228 on:** September 11, 2007, 08:39:55 PM »

No offense, but your adjective is (boring). Kids argue with parents, news at 11!

Also I seem to recall reading several other stories frighteningly similar to this one.

Lizard Dude · « **Reply #229 on:** September 14, 2007, 04:34:57 AM »

Kyle and I were at Hastings, looking for something or other in the book desk.

"I'm taking a piece of this."

Kyle takes a piece of the book manager Becky's gum. It's the fancy kind that pops through foil out of little plastic bubbles. It's green.

"Dude sweet, I'm taking one too."

It's totally psychological, but gum always tastes way better coming out of little plastic bubbles. You feel like you're eating a special delicious treat, nicely sealed inside a marvel of modern science just for you. I didn't even want gum. But doggone it I wanted plastic bubble-contained gum.

"Chris, don't tell Becky we took her gum."

Chris nods and off we go, chomping our awesome gums.

About three minutes later, a horrible peppery taste instantly hits me. This is not like normal gum turning bad. Normal gum starts with a strong flavor that slowly peters out and the bad taste is really just the absence of good taste. My gum was different. My gum had spontaneously launched full-scale chemical warfare on my tongue.

Stubbornly, I keep chewing. Starving kids in Africa would kill for this gum. Two minutes later I can't take it anymore and spit it out. The gum had only gotten nastier, unlocking layer after layer of new areas in the flavor hellscape that is this gum.

I go to Kyle.

"Dude, is your gum nasty?"

It looks like me bringing it up suddenly makes him realize.

"Holy this is bad gum."

He spits it out.

"Yeah, guess what? Becky's a hardcore smoker. We stole her nicotine gum."

That's right. I had been chewing smoker gum, nicotine now coursing through my veins. I read that once the gum flavor (quickly) wears out, you're supposed to hold it in your gums like chewing tobacco. But I definitely hadn't. And now I know: nicotine tastes nasty. Very nasty. I will never eat nicotine gum again.

Anyone got a light?

MaxVance · « **Reply #230 on:** September 14, 2007, 05:32:51 AM »

I thought it would be one of those prank gums that had some other sort of nasty flavor.

Lizard Dude · « **Reply #231 on:** September 14, 2007, 05:45:31 AM »

Close enough, man, close enough. Plus this one drugged me.

PaperLuigi · « **Reply #232 on:** September 14, 2007, 03:41:11 PM »

Lizard Dude's story is the best I've seen in a while, actually.

SushieBoy · « **Reply #233 on:** September 14, 2007, 04:53:08 PM »

That'll teach you to take people's gum without asking!

I have a story, which happened just yesterday, but I'm not sure what adjective to describe it with.

WARNING: Some language is present.

So after I had walked into my last class of the day, Science, I noticed it was a substitute teacher. Apparently our regular teacher had gone out of town for some reason... So then she passed out our assignment for the day, so after she was done passing them out one of my friends Edson ask her "Mrs. Armstrong, can we write on this sheet?" (We had a class set, so we had to use our own paper and write down our answers there) So then the teacher responded, "No, you can't write on this sh*t... I mean sheet," The class was then sprinkled with giggles. I laughed as well but I didn't want to over do it so I wouldn't get in trouble. Amazingly she had no shame in her mistake, she just went on normally like it didn't happen.

Jman · « **Reply #234 on:** September 14, 2007, 09:29:50 PM »

Strangely enough, I heard a joke about Ah-nold and bed sheets once that involved him swearing in his accent.

BP · « **Reply #235 on:** September 14, 2007, 11:06:42 PM »

Wondrous things today. Graydon (or G-Dawg, defunct FF user) celebrated his birthday two weeks in advance by taking John (or ViRUS, other defunct user) to Six Flags Magic Mountain today. That crushy, compressy feeling you get when you go through a loop is still coursing through my body and I love it. Not many interesting things happened, but...

Story one: John beat one of those "guess your weight or age" people by two pounds. He paid three dollars to pay and won a lousy Wonder Woman headband that hardly fit around his head. Around five o'clock, the person in the Wonder Woman costume was outside The Riddler's Revenge as we were standing around thinking of what to do for the next hour (I wanted to ride Superman but nooooo). John wanted to ride the Jet Stream again, so we had him put the headband on his head and get a picture with Wonder Woman (on my cell phone! :D). We then rode those boats about five times yelling, "We're pirates!!" at the people on the lower path.

Story two: We were at an In-N-Out on the way home. When Graydon got his burger John and I stepped over to the counter to wait. Realizing we were in the way of people John says, "Stand back." I then announced, "Stand back! This is a danger zone!" A little girl looked at me when she walked and bumped into somebody else as a result.

Bigluigifan1.0 · « **Reply #236 on:** September 15, 2007, 06:39:13 AM »

Reminds me of the time I went to Six Flags Over Georgia with a few friends.

I'll tell you, my favorite ride there is definitely Goliath. (For those who don't know, it's sort of like the main attraction roller coaster ride there, pretty huge stuff.) We went on every ride more than once with the exception of a couple, and in a total, we went on Goliath about six times throughout the one day we went. One of my friends was talking about how this kid would yell out his origin (Origin being Scotland.) while he took a large leap down from a pole while he was connected to a supporting rope to keep him from falling and breaking his head open and stuff like that. So I had come up with an idea to yell "SCOTLAND!!" as we flew down the largest and steepest hill on Goliath. So we did it a few times, and to my surprise a few people started to yell the same within the following drops on the ride. Then there was this ride which I disliked incredibly. We only went on it once. This was an old wooden roller coaster that made me feel like I was having a heart attack. The only part I enjoyed was the part where we were in the line to leave the ride. Seriously, that was the most rough roller coaster I have ever been on.

We also went a ride called Superman... it was the one that some girl got her legs chopped off from. Amazingly there were quite a few in line despite most knowledge of this accident. So one of my friends goes on and asks when were strapped in, "Did someone really get their legs cut off on this thing?". The lady nearby replied "I don't know." or something to that effect. We were pretty much laughing quite a bit after that, but the ride was quite uncomfortable, but it wouldn't have been so bad to ride again. We went on another ride that had something to do with Joker from Batman. I think the name was Mindbender. While it was slightly rough, we all could handle it and had fun. There was one part in the ride that dipped in slightly as it came to curve to the first big drop, but we all yelled "SCOTLAND!!" at that certain part when it was clearly the incorrect time and we all looked like idiots, but we forgot about it and yelled "SCOTLAND!!" at the first "real" drop and the following loops.

That was the best Six Flags trip I had ever been on, and it stays that way to this day.

BP · « **Reply #237 on:** September 15, 2007, 12:04:54 PM »

The wooden one is Colossus. Super-old, super-uneventful. My favorite one there is definitely Scream. It's reasonably long, has a satisfyingly large number of loops, etc. When the guy said "Lemme hear you scream!" We all yelled, "THIS IS SPARTAAAA!!!!"
Tatsu is pretty cool, too. It's this one that was opened just one day after our eighth grade trip You're strapped in with your chest facing down. Most intense loop ever.

Jman · « **Reply #238 on:** September 15, 2007, 02:25:18 PM »

I like reading about ride deaths and accidents before I go to theme parks. Why? Don't ask me, I have no clue.

SushieBoy · « **Reply #239 on:** September 15, 2007, 03:45:09 PM »

You know BP, "300" is a source for Youtube Poop nowadays, have you seen this? (http://youtube.com/watch?v=rZBA0SKmQy8) You might enjoy it.