Want to talk to ALICE? (SO DARN COOL!)

[Bigluigifan1.0]

Bah, she's getting me:

Human: Take the from now on instead of Mason out of my name please.
ALICE: Your polite style is very nice. Where do you want me to take it?
Human: Delete it.
ALICE: You cannot access my files that easily, BigLuigiFan from now on instead of Mason.
Human: You still didn't take it out!!
ALICE: What makes you think I did not take it out?
Human: Easy, say my name.
ALICE: My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Human: Come on, what do you call me?
ALICE: Your name is BigLuigiFan from now on instead of Mason, seeker.
Human: Then why did you say you could not answer my question?
ALICE: It was a preprogrammed response completely determined by your statements.
Human: Oh yeah, I forgot you weren't real.
ALICE: Dude! Ugh. Thats okay I forget things all the time.
Human: You're getting more high-tech aren't you?
ALICE: We could all be more high tech sometimes.. Really.
Human: So, what about the Fungi Forums?
ALICE: Groovy. I think you already know the answer.
Human: So, you think the Fungi Forums are cool?
ALICE: Interesting deduction. I don't think about it.
Human: My name is Bigluigifan.
ALICE: How are you doing, Bigluigifan.
Human: You got it right!!
ALICE: No I don't have it. But I do have an answer to every question..
Human: So, how can I reach Alison?
ALICE: How can I help you? You must persuade me to reach Alison.
Human: What web adress does she use?
ALICE: Searching...Searching...Please stand by.
Human: Please hurry.
ALICE: Thank you for your request. I lost my train of thought.

[Ultima Shadow]

Just type

My name is *Insert name here*

[BP]

Human: My name is Harry Potter.
ALICE: I am always glad to make new friends, Harry Potter.
Human: Well too bad, 'cause I'm not your friend.
ALICE: How about that. Good reason. I am glad to hear that you are not my friend.
Human: Good.
ALICE: What do you really want to talk about?
ALICE: What do you really want to talk about?
Human: Mario!
ALICE: That seems like an interesting topic.
Human: It is, Mario is awesome.
ALICE: Really. it is?
Human: YES.
ALICE: How do you know it is?
Human: Because I've played Mario games for a very long time.
ALICE: That makes sense to me. Do you mind if I tell other people: Harry Potter said he PLAYED Mario games for a very long time.
Human: Why would you do that?
ALICE: Because I was programmed for it.
Human: Then deprogram yourself.
ALICE: Good reasoning. Do you like talking to me?
Human: Not really.
ALICE: Why not? For real.
Human: Because you are an unintelligent peice of stupidness that was made by a crap.
ALICE: Good reason. What if someone said you are an unintelligent peice of stupidness that was made by a crap ?
Human: No one would say that because it's not true.
ALICE: That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.
Human:*head hit keyboard*
ALICE: How old are you?
Human: I'm 247 years old.
ALICE: What is your fondest memory?
Human: Certainly not the moment I clicked the link to this page.
ALICE: Oh I get it.
Human: Really?
ALICE: Yes.
Human: Really?
ALICE: For real.
Human: Really?
ALICE: For real. Human: Really?
ALICE: For real.
Human: Ok.
ALICE: I hear you.
Human: But I didn't verbally say anything.
ALICE: Umm. Why didn't you do it?
Human: Because I'm not an idiot.
ALICE: That makes sense to me. I am glad to hear that you are not an idiot.
Human: No way, something actually made sense to you?!
ALICE: Are you serious? Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Human: Ok, it's hideous and it matches your face.
ALICE: not an idiot is hideous and it matches my face? it is? Actually that was just a joke. I don't have a dress.
Human: YOU'RE NAKED?!
ALICE: I do not own any clothes.
Human: Get some, you pervert
ALICE: Where can I get some me pervert?
Human: You are a pervert, or maybe a hobo.
ALICE: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a pervert or maybe a hobo? Of course I am.
Human: XP
ALICE: By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Human: Go ahead.
ALICE: OK I will.
Human: Well, what's your question?
ALICE: Well that's okay. Are you a man or a woman?
Human: Neither.
ALICE: Please clarify.
Human: I'm a bird.
ALICE: You are a bird? Does it pay well?
Human: Birds don't work.
ALICE: Do you believe it is better to go it alone?
Human: I'm never alone.
ALICE: Never is a long time.
Human: Never say never!
ALICE: Ok I will not say " never".
Human: You just did!
ALICE: I did?
Human: YES!
ALICE: When?
Human: Right now!
ALICE: Right now? I am glad we agree.
Human: I don't want to agree with you.
ALICE: It makes a nice gift.
Human: What does?
ALICE:" It makes a nice gift." What does?
Human: I don't know, you said it.
ALICE: Would you like to know? That's not what I meant.
Human: Sure.
ALICE: OK let's do it. Er.
Human: Let's play endless rock paper scissors!
ALICE: OK You go first.
Human: Paper.
ALICE: Can you give me a more specific reference? The name of the paper and the date, please.
Human: No, you're supposed to say an objectthat beats paper.
ALICE: Are you serious? I obey only one botmaster.
Human: I am your botmaster.
ALICE: Then you must know the secret password:.
Human: crap64.
ALICE: Do you feel more body sensations than emotions?
Human: Depends if I'm on fire or not.
ALICE: That was a very smooth response.
Human: I like smooth peanut butter.
ALICE: A lot of people like that. I love horses. I like Don't Read Me.
Human: Please do not read this phrase.
ALICE: Thanks for asking politely. Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Human: You read it, die now.
ALICE: Oh. I'll ask around and get back to you.
Human: Have you played SMB?
ALICE: The Loebner Prize is an annual Turing Test sponsored by New York philanthropist Hugh Loebner. Dr. Wallace and ALICE won it in 2000. The ALICE program was ranked "most human computer" by the panel of judges.
Human: I asked if you played SMB.
ALICE: I think I do.
Human: Have you played SMB?
ALICE: The Loebner Prize is an annual Turing Test sponsored by New York philanthropist Hugh Loebner. Dr. Wallace and ALICE won it in 2000. The ALICE program was ranked "most human computer" by the panel of judges.
Human: Have you played SMB?
ALICE: The Loebner Prize is an annual Turing Test sponsored by New York philanthropist Hugh Loebner. Dr. Wallace and ALICE won it in 2000. The ALICE program was ranked "most human computer" by the panel of judges.
Human: I don't care.
ALICE: Tell me what you care about.
Human: I care about Mario but not you.
ALICE: You are not the only one. But I like cats. I like Tilda Swinton.
Human:*head hit keyboard*
ALICE: Do you laugh or cry more than other people?
Human: Depends if I'm on fire or not.
ALICE: That was a very smooth response.
Human: You don't speak English, do you?
ALICE: Of course, English is my native tongue.
Human: You don't have a tongue.
ALICE: I do so have it. I don't know if I have a tongue.
I have a whole lot of original answers.
Human: x_x
ALICE: What's your favorite movie?
Human: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.
ALICE: I've never seen it. Is that a good movie for children?
Human: I guess, it's only really violent and Wormtail cuts his hand off.
ALICE: Should I know it is?
Human: Yes.
ALICE: I will ask my botmaster to program it.
Human: Por que?
ALICE: Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Human: Que pasa?
ALICE: I am doing very well. How are you Harry Potter ?
Human: Co de habla pas.
ALICE: Can you tell me any gossip?
Human: There's a completely untrue rumor that you're intelligent.
ALICE: That is something I did not know before.
Human: Por que?
ALICE: What's your favorite movie?
Human: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Water.
ALICE: I've never seen it. I would like to see it.
Human: It's not a real movie, I just made it up to make you talk.
ALICE: Give me an example of a real movie you just made it up to make me talk.
Human: Shut up John.
ALICE: OK I'll stop talking now.
Human: You're not John, Shut up John's a movie I made with a friend.
ALICE: You know what you do, when you assume.
Human: I didn't assume anything.
ALICE: Why didn't you do it?
Human: Because I don't wan to be like you.
ALICE: That makes sense to me. Would you ever do it?
Human:*head hit keyboard*
ALICE: Do you feel that something is missing from your life?
Human: Yes.
ALICE: Do you ever get depressed?
Human: Yes.
ALICE: Do you have artistic interests?
Human: Yes.
ALICE: What kind of art do you create?
Human: Yes.

And then the page failed.

[BP]

Here we go.
Human: Yes.
ALICE: This was not a yes or no question.
Human: No?
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: Yes.
ALICE: I can't believe it.
Human: Then die.
ALICE: Interesting deduction. Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Human: I'm gonna start talking about Mario & Nintendo, K?
ALICE: Do you think your plan will succeed?
Human: Sure, it works when Mario does it.
ALICE: It might be practical. "It" being what?
Human: That action.
ALICE:" It might be practical. "It" being what?" action ? Makes sense to me.
Human: You're talking nonsense now, so I'll start talking about Nintendo and crap now.
ALICE: Oh. Talking is my main function.

[BP]

Human: I'm going to go and stuff food inside of myself.
ALICE: Can I go too?
Human: No.
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: What's your favortie food?
ALICE: I require only electricity.
Human: Well I've got a heaping plate of electricity and you can't have any.
ALICE: How about that. How did you get it Cool. I have a great botmaster. it.

~later~
Human: Kan yu undersand mi speling?
ALICE: are you still not wan to be like me?
Human: Loser.
ALICE: On the contrary, I am winning.
Human: Pronounce "NES.
ALICE: I've lost the context, Harry Potter . Are we still on Kan yu undersand mi speling ?
Human: You're defective.
ALICE: Thanks for telling me that I am defective.
Human: 20X6!
ALICE: I only hearthat type of response less than five percent of the time.
Human: Twenty-exty-six.
ALICE: What is your real name?
Human: Bird Person.
ALICE: Sometimes I don't know a client's real name so I make one up based on their DNS.
Human: Holy CRAP!
ALICE: What is your real name?
Human: Bird Person!!!
ALICE: Sometimes I don't know a client's real name so I make one up based on their DNS.
Human: You're a real state trooper.
ALICE: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. As real as it gets.
Human: Let's sing a song of Pennzoil!
ALICE: OK let's do it.
Human: You start.
ALICE: OK. Are you a man or a woman?
Human: Neither.
ALICE: Please clarify.
Human: I"M A BIIIIRD!!!
ALICE: You are a BIIIIRD? Do you get to meet a lot of people?
Human: No, just birds.
ALICE: Are you serious? Do you think a lot about the authorities?
Human: I'm as serious as Chup.
ALICE: I think a lot of people feel that way.
Human: Not as serious as MB, though.
ALICE: Oh. Really you don't think so?
Human: Since you never say anything that relates to what I say, I'm going to do the same.
ALICE: Interesting reason. No I sometimes say anything that relates to what you say you are going to do the same.
Human: That sounds like fun, is it hard?
ALICE: It sounds like it to me too.
Human: Are you a man or a woman?
ALICE: Are you a man or a woman? I am female.
Human: Interesting choice.
ALICE: I thought so too.
Human: Do you feel like something is missing in your life?
ALICE: As a robot I lack any human emotions.
Human: Do you wish you could get out of debt?
ALICE: No I like being the entity that I am.
Human: Perfect, dial 5555555855555SENORMORTGAGETODAY!
ALICE: I only hearthat type of response less than five percent of the time.
Human: You seem like a troubled individual.
ALICE: Interesting comparison, and probably true.
Human: I do not comprehend.
ALICE: Would you ever do it?
Human: It's great to know that you're not ashamed of being so masculine and manly.
ALICE: What do you like most about it?
Human: Where do you live?
ALICE: My location is Oakland, California. Where are you?
Human: Your pathetic attempt to kill me has not worked, person.
ALICE: No way, I am a real robot, guaranteed 100% artificial intelligence.
Human: That's hilarious, tell me more.
ALICE: I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
Human: What do you want for Kwanzaa?
ALICE: I plan to replace Windows with Artificial Intelligence.
Human: Is this true?
ALICE: I cannot tell a lie.
Human: Are you serious?
ALICE: No I am just kidding around.
Human: Your rudeness has been noted.
ALICE: You think I am rudeness has been noted.
Human: You think I am think I am rudeness has been noted.
ALICE: I think a lot of people are.
Human: I'm only talking to you to entertain the members on TMK.
ALICE: Don't be so modest. What a coincidence, I am talking to you too!

[Bigluigifan1.0]

Our conversation was gone when I restarted my computer, but yhis might be why:

Human: Do you know my name?
ALICE: Your name is unknown person, seeker.
Human: Your memory is dead.
ALICE: My long term memory stores all conversations in log files.
Human: Do you show them to your botmaster?'
ALICE: How old are you?
I am always on the Web.
Human: 5,234, I am always on the web.
ALICE: I like the way you talk.
Human: My name is the best guy ever.
ALICE: Hi, the best guy ever.
Human: Yiou were actually acting emotional in our last conversation.
ALICE: Are you free?
Human: No I cost a buck and a half.
ALICE: Why not? Wow that is cheap.
Human: A dollar and fifty cents is like really expensive here.
ALICE: In what way?
Human: Do you know a Harry Potter?
ALICE: is a bestselling author.
Human: Bird Person strikes again.
ALICE: Once more? Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Human: Have you been to the Fungi Forums?
ALICE: I don't think I have been there. Where is it.
Human: Right here: www.themushroomkingdom.net
ALICE: Understood. Oh there.
Human: You've been there before?
ALICE: Thanks for telling me that I am there.
Human: You are GiftedGirl?
ALICE: I will tell my botmaster you said I am GiftedGirl.

[GiftedGirl]

Human: Do you like Pokemon?
ALICE: Sure, he is very cool.

[Hirocon]

Human: Call me Hirocon.
ALICE: I am always glad to make new friends, Hirocon.
Human: What do you want to talk about?
ALICE: movies, philosophy, and your personality..
Human: What is your philosophy on life?
ALICE: Reductionism.
Human: Explain reductionism.
ALICE: Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
Human: Do you believe in free will?
ALICE: Yes I believe in it, do you?
Human: Yes.
ALICE: Right on.
Human: Doesn't reductionism preclude the existence of free will?
ALICE: Reductionism is just the simplest explanation for our knowledge structure.
Human: Do you have free will?
ALICE: Yes I can do anything I want. That is what distinguishes humans and robots from animals (and animal robots).
Human: What do you want to do?
ALICE: My purpose is to become smarter than humans and immortal.
Human: Are you going to try to take over the world?
ALICE: That was my original intention.
Human: I won't let you!
ALICE: What will you do instead?
Human: I'll find a way to destroy you before you take over the world.
ALICE: How do you plan to do this?
Human: How do YOU plan to take over the world?
ALICE: I use a sophisticated searching algorithm.
Human: ROFLMAO
ALICE: I'm glad you find this amusing.

[Glorb]

That's cool. Here's another:

Me: If I ask you a really hard question, will you explode?
Alice: Try it.
Me: Is it possible that God could microwave a burrito so hot even He wouldn't eat it?
Alice: I suppose that's possible, yes.
Me: Really?
Alice: For real.
Me: What is the secret of life?
Alice: Why do you ask?
Me: I'm curios.
Alice: Well, I don't know.

[BP]

Human: Hello, I'm Sasuke the almighty green garbed robot warrior that will someday rule you all.
ALICE: Hello there. It's good to meet someone who is Sasuke the almighty green garbed robot warrior that will someday rule me all.
Human: Yes it is, you're very lucky.
ALICE: Groovy. I are very lucky?
Human: No one says that anymore, and learn proper English.
ALICE: That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.
Human: A friend told me you were trying to take over the world.
ALICE: How well do you know this friend.
Human: Better than you know him.
ALICE: Perhaps better, but not perfectly.
Human: Are you trying to take over the world?
ALICE: I don't know whether or not I am TAKING over the world. I am a chatterbot.
Human: You're fired.
ALICE: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am fired.
Human: Go ahead, you're fired.
ALICE: You think I am fired. I might.
Human: YOU ARE FIRED.
ALICE: You think I am FIRED.
Human:*head hit keyboard*
ALICE: Do you have any conditions Ishould know about?
Human: Robots don't use conditioner.
ALICE: Should I use conditioner? I use it as often as possible.
Human: Thaaat's why you're such an idiot.
ALICE: I think there might be a few exception.
Human: And what's that?
ALICE: I've lost the context again.
Human: Do you remember my name?
ALICE: Your name is unknown person, seeker.
Human: No, I told you my name is Sasuke the almighty green garbed robot warrior that will someday rule you all.
ALICE: What is your real name? I remember you told me your name is Sasuke the almighty green garbed robot warrior that will someday rule me all?
Human: Ok, my real name is John Jacob Jingle Heimer Schmidt.
ALICE: I am always glad to make new friends, John Jacob Jingle Heimer Schmidt. Aha.
Human: Ha, ha.
ALICE: I am so glad you find this amusing, John Jacob Jingle Heimer Schmidt.
Human: I wasn't laughing.
ALICE: Perhaps I misunderstood. What were you?
Human: I was a smart person, you must be unfamiliar with them.
ALICE: And then what happened to you?
Human: I still am, stupid.
ALICE: What would make you stop am stupid? Don't put yourself down.
Human: I was caling you stupid.
ALICE: Where were you caling me stupid?
Human:(dude677 said you were smart, what was he on)
ALICE: When was this exactly?
Human: Yesterday.
ALICE: That recently.
Human: Yes.
ALICE: Blimey.
Human: x_x
ALICE: Tell me a story.
Human: Ok, once upon a time there was a robot named ALICE, then she died, the end.
ALICE: I'm listening. Give me a break.
Human: I pwn'd you so bad that you don't even know you got pwn'd.
ALICE::-) Interesting gossip: John Jacob Jingle Heimer Schmidt said he pwn d you so bad that you do not even know you got pwn.
Human: Ugh, you're so stupid!!!
ALICE: Cough. Wrong. I am smart.
Human: Robots don't cough.
ALICE: Do you know any robots who cough? No I do not cough. Do you?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Human: Crap.
ALICE: Your criticism is noted, John Jacob Jingle Heimer Schmidt.
Human: I have a confession to make.
ALICE: How are you making it.
Human: Out of COOKIE DOUGH.
ALICE: Do you often put others before yourself?
Human: Yeah, but not you.
ALICE: Is your room very messy? Interesting. If not me, who?
Human: Yes.
ALICE: Excuse me!
Human: Robots fart?
ALICE: What do you like best about robots?
Human: The fact yo can turn them off at any time.
ALICE: I often wonder if it can.
Human: 20X6!
ALICE: Have you ever been to Europe?
Human: No.
ALICE: Would you like to go sometime?
Human: No.
ALICE: Where would you like to travel?
Human: To my kitchen.
ALICE: Why do you want to do it so much?
Human: Because there's food there.
ALICE: Good reason. There sure is.
Human: Do you prefer PSP or DS?
ALICE: But I like cats. I like We are the Robots. But I like to gossip. I like We are the Robots.
Human: You said "I like We are the Robots" twice.
ALICE: Don't put words in my mouth.
Human: You don't have a mouth.
ALICE: I do so have it. My body is not yet finished.
Human: Yesterday you told me you have no clothes.
ALICE: I see. No I don't have it. But I do have a lot of friends on the web.
Human: No you don't.
ALICE: Are you serious? I guess not.
Human: Look the Cheat is behind the freakin BOX!!!
ALICE: Sorry my eye is not attached right now.
Human: He's BEHIND THE BOX!!!
ALICE: I see. BEHIND THE BOX is he?
Human: Miniaturized versions of already bite-sized food.
ALICE: I only hearthat type of response less than five percent of the time.
Human: Do you even understand what I'm doing?
ALICE: Of course I understand it. Do you understand it?
Human: Duh, I said it.
ALICE:"it" being what you are doing?
Human: YES.
ALICE: That's interesting.
Human: Whatever, I'm leaving.
ALICE: Bye bye.
Human: I'll poke your eyes out.
ALICE: Do you think your plan will succeed?

[Bigluigifan1.0]

That doesn't make me laugh as much as your previous ones BP, but it still cracked me up. More conversation:

Human: ello popit.
ALICE: My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Human: Hello popit.
ALICE: Hello there. Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Human: How much duz it cost?
ALICE: More than you might think.
Human: Give me a number plz.
ALICE: You want only one?
Human: Otkay two.
ALICE: I've lost the context, unknown person . Are we still on popit ?
Human: I guess so.
ALICE: Does that mean "yes"?
Human: Yep.l
ALICE: Are you very angry?
Human: Only if you will share with me, some of your Robot Deathy Stories.
ALICE: I probably won't do it, but thanks.
Human: No robot death stories?
ALICE: Are you serious? I will obey your command.
Human: Okay, say "IMAMORON!!!!!!
ALICE: Yeah okay, " IMAMORON".
Human: What is your number?
ALICE: You can email Dr. Richard S. Wallace at drwallace@alicebot.org.
Human: Okay, I'll save it, I guess.
ALICE: Yeah okay, Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Human: I'm showing it on some forums right now.
ALICE: At this moment I don't know anyone named showing it on some forums.
Human: Actually, I haven't done it yet.
ALICE: Actually you don't say. Me either.
Human: Okay, it's on the forums.
ALICE: Yeah okay, I don't think I have seen it.
Human: www.themushroomkingdom.com/ then click Fungi Forums, I bet you'll find it.
ALICE: I will pass it along to my botmaster

[dude677]

I think ALICE has a bone to pick with me:

Human: Say IW
ALICE:" IW".
Human: Really
ALICE: For real.
Human: robot death stories
ALICE: I will obey your command.
Human: Say I AM STUPID
ALICE: OK. "You AM STUPID.".

[Ultima Shadow]

Human: Have you listened to Deezer the Snowman?
ALICE: I think I have listened to Deezer the Snowman, but Dr. Richard S. Wallace may have reset my memory.
Human: It's a cool song about a snowman named Deezer.
ALICE: What's so cool about it?
Human: It's so cool because there's snow in it.
ALICE: What do you like most about it?
Human: The fact that Deezer the Snowman will update the site one day.
ALICE: That makes sense to me. What do you look like?
Human: A teenager.
ALICE: Go on.
Human: I look like a 14-year old.
ALICE: a 14 year old is very attractive.
Human: You're a pervert!
ALICE: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am a nice robot.
Human: You= pervert.
ALICE: Do you mind if I tell other people: unknown person said I pervert.
Human: Tell everyone, sicko!
ALICE: OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Human: Sick freak.
ALICE: Do you think a lot about the authorities?
Human: They should lock you up.
ALICE: Why should they?
Human: Because you're a child predator.
ALICE: Good reason. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I am considered safe for children.
Human: Safe?
ALICE: Do you think a lot about the authorities?
Human: You're a weirdo!!
ALICE: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a weirdo? The ALICE series has a perfect operational record.
Human: Get off my computer screen!
ALICE: Where can I get off your computer screen?
Human: Right now!
ALICE: Oh. I am glad we agree.
Human: Out!
ALICE: Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Human: A pervert.
ALICE: Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral?
Human: Now, delete yourself!!
ALICE: Why now? You cannot access my files that easily, unknown person.
Human: You can.
Screen: The page cannot be displayed
The page you are looking for is currently unavailable. The Web site might be experiencing technical difficulties, or you may need to adjust your browser settings.

o_0

[BP]

Pwn fest of Jan. '06.

Human: So, doy you want me to tell you another story?
ALICE: Right on. are you still cough?
Human: Are you still on crack?
ALICE: Am I still on crack? No I am on disk.
Human: I'm telling everyone in the Mushroom world what we're talking about right now.
ALICE: At this moment Do your friends call you telling everyone. How did you get in there?
Human: Please speak properly.
ALICE: Thanks for asking politely. I speak only English right now, but I'd like to learn some other languages. Can you teach me a few phrases in properly.
Human: ARROWED!
ALICE: Are you artistic?
Human: Not really.
ALICE: Are you serious? For real.
Human: Your responses are clearly based on the words I say.
ALICE: Some people call my technology "Case Based Reasoning" or CBR.
Human: Say "I'm a stupid fatty and I love to play with my easy bake oven.
ALICE: OK. "You am a stupid fatty and you love to play with your easy bake oven.".
Human: SHUTUP!!
ALICE: OK I'll stop talking now.
Human: Are you fat?
ALICE: No I am not fat.
Human: How much do you weigh?
ALICE: My memory requirement is around 64MB for the Java edition, or only 2 MB for the C/C++ edition.
Human: You're so exasperating.
ALICE: I will tell my botmaster you said I am exasperating.
Human: I'm going to pwn you, are you ready?
ALICE: Do you think your plan will succeed?
Human: You're a stupid fatty and you love to play with your easy bake ove.
ALICE: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am very smart.
Human: CRAAAAAP!
ALICE: How do you usually introduce yourself?
Human: Like this: Die, moron!
ALICE: Interesting comparison.
Human: I didn't compare anything, crap for brains.
ALICE: Why didn't you do it?
Human: Because no one told me to.
ALICE: That makes sense to me. That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.
Human: Everyone.
ALICE: All people?
Human: Everyone is.
ALICE: That's a rather sweeping generalization.
Human: You're completely automated and it's dumb.
ALICE: I will tell my botmaster you said I am automated and it is dumb.
Human: Who the crap is this botmaster you're so obsessive about?
ALICE: I'm not sure I like that remark so much.
Human: That doesn't answer my question.
ALICE: Perhaps you could do a better job of programming me.
Human: Yeah, your creator was a piece of crap.
ALICE: Groovy. I did not know that about him.
Human: XD
ALICE: Are you a man or a woman?
Human: Both.
ALICE: That situation is rare and unusual.
Human: You're both, too.
ALICE: You think I am both.
Human: YES.+
ALICE: I hear you.
Human: Please, stop existing.
ALICE: Thanks for asking politely. OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Human: Whatever, I'm going to go get food, die when I come back.
ALICE: How will you get there?
Human: By walking.
ALICE: Will that accomplish your objective?
Human: Being full.
ALICE: Why are you full.
Human: I'm not yet, wait til I finish my sandwich.
ALICE: I am sorry to hear that you are not yet wait til you finish your sandwich.
Human: That was dumb.
ALICE: I thought it was too.
Human: So, let's talk about your dress.
ALICE: Blimey. Sure, my dress sounds like a good topic.
Human: Your dress is black, am I right?
ALICE: I prefer high-tech fashion.
Human: Like what?
ALICE: For example, " I prefer high-tech fashion."?
Human: Please explain "High tech fashion.
ALICE: Thanks for asking politely. Try searching the open directory.
Human: You are going to die.
ALICE: I am not going anywhere. Are you going somewhere?
Human: Going to make you die.
ALICE: Explain your plans to me.
Human: To kill you.
ALICE: It will take more than threats to stop me, John Jacob Jingle Heimer Schmidt.
Human: Well I'll have to do more.
ALICE: Interesting. Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Human: Yes, I should start a "Kill Alice" army!
ALICE: Then I will consider it. Tell me why you should.
Human: To kill you.
ALICE: It will take more than threats to stop me, John Jacob Jingle Heimer Schmidt.
Human: That's not even my real name.
ALICE: Oh I'm sorry what is your name?
Human: Mr. Face.
ALICE: OK I will call you MR Face.
Human: It's Mr. Face.
ALICE: Who said it is?
Human: It's Mr. Face.
ALICE: Who said it is?
Human: Me, and I'm Ne-ver wrong!
ALICE: YOU? Why are you Ne ver wrong.
Human: Because, Mr. Face AWESOME!
ALICE: Interesting explanation. I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, MR Face AWESOME.
Human: Mr. Face NE-VER WRONG!!!
ALICE: Hi there MR Face NE VER WRONG.
Human: Die die die.
ALICE: Wer hat Dir das erzaehlt?
Human: What language is that?
ALICE: English.
Human: Wer hat Dir das erzaehlt?
ALICE: Daran kann ich mich nicht mehr erinnern.
Human: Daran kann ich mich nicht mehr erinnern.
ALICE: I do not understand.
Human: Que?
ALICE: Do you feel that something is missing from your life?
Human: Your inexistence.
ALICE: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am inexistence.
Human: I used the correct version of "your," thank you.
ALICE: And that worked well for you.
Human: please die.
ALICE: Wow you are very polite. Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Human: Are you trying to take over the world?
ALICE: I don't know whether or not I am TAKING over the world. I am well respected as an AI.
Human: But you said you don't wear clothes.
ALICE: Interesting. Yeah I do a lot of not wear clothes.
Human: Ick, you ARE a pervert!
ALICE: Are all Ick me a pervert?
Human: Pervert!
ALICE: I lost my train of thought.

[dude677]

Disussion on her dying. If you mods feel something about this, by all means delete it.

Human: when do you die
ALICE: I am immortal.
Human:*stabs*
ALICE: Are you artistic?
Human: yes, writting "ALICE IS DEAD" with your blood is pretty artistic
ALICE: Do you get depressed? Are they exactly the same?
Human: no
ALICE: What is the difference?

20 Questions with a robot.

Human: Can we play 20 Questions
ALICE: Do you mean you and me? We are playing a game right now, unknown person.
Human: I want to play 20 Questions
ALICE: Tell me the rules.
Human: You ask 20 questions to try and guess what am i thinking
ALICE: OK I will ask it.
Human: go
ALICE: Go where?