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Author Topic: The REAL Astronaut Story 3: Defiled Inheritence  (Read 5501 times)

TEM

  • THE SOVIET'S MOST DANGEROUS PUZZLE.
« on: August 08, 2011, 06:36:16 PM »
Your father has just died. On his deathbed he had started to tell you something about your grandfather that you never met. It seemed important, something to do with the Krikk invasion from before you were born; he also seemed to mention something about gold. However, in his dying breaths his words became incomprehensible, and he died muttering about fortune, regret, and dereliction of duty.

Several months later you are in your dull office building, typing reports about other reports about desk chair durability tests. You not only failed to live up to your grandfather's wild legacy as a brave, brilliant astronaut, but your life devoid of love, meaning, or spectacle even pales in comparison to your father's modest life as a loving husband and father. Your inherent greyness has blended in to the grey world around you.

A coworker watching the Noon news in the break room suddenly exits and begins whispering to other employees in all the cubicles around you. You find that everyone on the massive floor is now looking in your direction; shock, disgust, and horror on their faces. Through the window behind your cubicle, 20 floors below, you see a small, but unruly (hard to tell from so high up) gathering of people at the entrance of the building.

What do you do?
« Last Edit: October 03, 2011, 03:20:02 PM by TEM »
0000

WarpRattler

  • Paid by the word
« Reply #1 on: August 08, 2011, 06:49:33 PM »
Find a curtain or other large cloth, use it to create a makeshift glider, and jump out the window.

« Reply #2 on: August 09, 2011, 03:59:50 AM »
I check the local news website on my computer.

TEM

  • THE SOVIET'S MOST DANGEROUS PUZZLE.
« Reply #3 on: August 09, 2011, 08:42:53 AM »
I check the local news website on my computer.

Local news, national news, world news, they all have similar headlines, with small variations:
"INACCESSIBLE DESERT HIDEAWAY DISCOVERED; CLUES HINT TOWARDS EARTH TRAITOR,"
"AWOL ASTRONAUT MAY BE RESPONSIBLE FOR KRIKK INVASION OF EARTH,"
"SINGLE LIVING RELATIVE OF HUMANITY-BETRAYING ASTRONAUT FOUND,"
"DESCENDANTS OF EARTH'S SURVIVORS SCREAM FOR BLOOD OF ASTRONAUT PROGENY."

All of these results flood the search engine in seconds. The oldest report seems to be an hour old; the report claiming to find the descendent is only 20 minutes old. It includes a fuzzy picture of you in Chess Club from your senior year in high school, and mentions you by name. Employees still all stare at you, saying nothing, and the crowd many stories below is still gathered and unruly.

What do you do?
« Last Edit: August 09, 2011, 01:04:16 PM by TEM »
0000

« Reply #4 on: August 09, 2011, 02:49:43 PM »
I take an elevator down to the 12th floor, go inside the women's restroom and lock myself in a stall.

« Reply #5 on: August 09, 2011, 03:47:51 PM »
Fashion a crude top hat out of spare office supplies and take an elevator down to address the crowd.
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CrossEyed7

  • i can make this whatever i want; you're not my dad
« Reply #6 on: October 01, 2011, 01:38:53 AM »
I and a female coworker get into a car and drive until we reach whichever ocean is farther away.
"Oh man, I wish being a part of a Mario fan community was the most embarrassing thing about my life." - Super-Jesse

TEM

  • THE SOVIET'S MOST DANGEROUS PUZZLE.
« Reply #7 on: October 02, 2011, 06:55:56 PM »
I and a female coworker get into a car and drive until we reach whichever ocean is farther away.
You beg a female coworker to elope with you to an ocean, either one since Topeka, Kansas is smack dab in the center of the nation. As you sit on your knees, hands folded she stares at you with a mixture of embarrassment, confusion, and resentment. You clearly see your plan is not working, but press on bravely despite the fact that you've started crying.

After ten minutes of this a small group of Topeka's Finest followed by two CIA-looking dudes in black suits enter the floor and walk toward your cubicle. The female coworker is taking pictures of you, amused by how pathetic you are; she stops and walks away briskly when the cops walk up. A 5'3" tall man of polish descent named Kowalski steps forward and says, "Sir, these gentlemen would like to speak with you." He gestures towards the identical CIA-looking dudes.

What do you do now?
0000

CrossEyed7

  • i can make this whatever i want; you're not my dad
« Reply #8 on: October 02, 2011, 08:47:20 PM »
Get the two CIA dudes to look at each other and trick them into thinking they're looking into a mirror sorta like that Marx brothers sketch.
"Oh man, I wish being a part of a Mario fan community was the most embarrassing thing about my life." - Super-Jesse

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