I was thinking about making a bunch of random stories for my English teacher, just to show her what my FF pals and I could cook up. It's kinda like a big book of short stories for children, you know the type, no? The rules for the stories are..........
1. They must be about Mario.
2. They must have some kind of moral.
3. They can't be graphic or violent.
4. If it's not funny, that's fine, but I wanted to make the entire thing kinda hilarious........
If you post a story here, (be sure to correct it and everything) I will give credit to you in my book! My story will be the first..........
Mario the Man, and his band!
By PaperLuigi
Pictures by no one.
BANG! BOOM! Wario, the Mushroom Kingdom's local theif, was pulling a gigantic piano done the stairs, thinking he could get it into the garage himself. Today was the day he and his friends, Mario and Luigi were starting a band. Yoshi had even requested that he should be in with the gang. "I know how to play!! I know how to play," he replied with excitement. So Yoshi was added to the list as the whatever-he-played. "Okay, then," Mario proclaimed. "It's all set! Meet me at Wario's garage on Saturday, 10:00! Don't be late!" Wario had waited all week for this, but at the last second, he forgot which instrument he played. So he decided to hall down Waluigi's old piano he had stuffed away in the attic. Wario was trying to get it down. "*huff* *wheeze* When I was a kid, they didn't make them so heavy!" Wario grunted all the way down, from the top, to the floor board. "Whatever happened to those real tiny one's with 8 or 9 keys that lit up and talked to you when you played them? This junk is outrageous!" After an hour or so, he finally got the piano in front of the garage door, which of course, was much smaller than the piano. Broke stair pieces had cluttered the floor. Luigi was already inside the compact perimeter, when he noticed Wario was standing with the giant instrument by his side. Luigi sighed. "I thought you were gonna play a flute or something........"
"I was? So that's the instrument I was going to play!!"
Luigi was not suprised that this had happened. Pointless things like this happened to Wario every day. So he screamed, "Get it out then!!!" Wario's responce fell short of what Luigi wanted. "I-I-I think I fogot where I put it....." Wario stuttered. "It was next to my sandwich the last time I-BELCH! A!
Luigi was baffled by Wario's odd sounding burp. "Wait, do that again," he asked.
"Burp! G!"
A wide grin planted itself on Wario's face. "I can sing AND burp my ABC's! That's awesome! Now if only I could actually learn HOW to say my ABC's...."
"You idiot, you just ate your flute! It was sitting by your sandwich, and you thought it would be funny to take a bite, eh?!" Luigi's face was bright red.
"No, no, it was a mistake," Wario cried. "Here's my flute, right here!" He opened a case, revealing a ham sandwich, mustard and all. "Oh, neat, a sandwich," he said, taking a bite. Luigi tried to ignore Wario's stupidity while setting up his own instrument: a violin. He took it out, plucked a few strings and set it back down. Mario and Yoshi would be arriving soon, so being in tune was top priority. "I just can't wait to begin practicing our classical band! It'll be perfect! I can just see success, pouring out it's wonderful rays of light on my face and saying-." Before finishing his extremley boring speech of how great his band, who hadn't even had one dress rehearsal, was going to be, Luigi spotted Wario out of the corner of his eye. Wario had a ghostly blank stare on his face, as his mind tried to grasp the simple concept: " The door's too small, you idiot! The door IS TOO SMALL!" Luigi opened his mouth to say something to him, but Wario's hand came up to try and shut him up. "There's a problem here......." he mumbled to himself. Luigi was tempted to let him figure that out on his own. It was just too hilarious to pass up, so he shut his mouth and kept tuning. Finally, after 10 minutes or so, Wario's face lit up with shock. "The door's too small," he claimed. "Oh, so what ELSE is new?" Luigi laughed with a sence of irony. He plased his hand on his face and tried to aproach the situation in a calmer attitude."Well, yeah......of course it is. We were expecting you to play the flute," he sighed. Luigi turned away and let Wario move the piano back up to the darkness of the attic. Wario, however, had no other options, as he had wanted to be in a band for a while now. Taking the piano by the legs with all his might, he ripped the instruement through the miniature wall. Not suprisingly, the entire doorway (and instrument) were destroyed. Sitting amongst the ruble and dust was Wario and every broken key. His hands grasped the legs of Waluigi's piano. For a moment, everything was silent. Luigi knew that this was bound to happen, and screaming wouldn't help, so he simpley said "meh" and kept tunning. Wario gazed at the entire mess and laughed, " I fell sorry for the goon who's gonna have to clean this up!" Trying his best not to laugh, Luigi pointed his bow at Wario and commanded "Clean! Now!" Wario looked at the entire room and gasped, finally understanding something he had know for years. "Hey, I don't even now how to play the piano. I play a flute!" "Well duh," sighed Luigi. Wario reached int his pocket and took out an aged flute with ketchup clogging the holes where the sound came out. The tip was smuthered in old pickle bits and globs of mustard. There was even lettuce glued on to the end. "It's obvious," though Luigi, "that he tried to eat this once........." Although playing it was most likely impossible, Wario was going t try anyway. He put his lips on the piece, while siliva poured out from his mouth. Luigi had a terrible look on his face. "Blech........." With all his might, Wario blew into the flute. "SCRECCHHHAAAAAAAA!!!" The poor thing screamed. Confused, Wario questioned, "Now that can't be right. What's wrong with this thing?" At this point, Luigi was about to pull out a hammer and knock some sence into this bozo, who really hadn't played an instruement at all. Before he could though, a loud knock on the door filled the complex. "Who's ready to rock?!" Yelled a familar voice. The door flung open, revealing Mario and Yoshi in punk rock outfit's, make-up and all. Luigi, Mario and Yoshi just stared at each other, relizing they had not come up with what KIND of band they had actually wanted to perform. They all just laughed and walked home, thinking that a band may not have been the best idea. Wario was left sitting there, with his hand under his armpit.
3 Hours later.
"I don't get it," said Wario.
THE MORAL: Before you start a band, pick out intruments and genre BEFORE playing.
