Crystal Star Theft

[Ambulance Y]

This is a story about....never mind....just read it yourself.

CHAPTER ONE– Desperate Dry Bones

The Koopa King was slumped over in his giant, golden throne, weeping. A tiny television monitor was sitting in front of his throne, and he watched it with anticipation and gloom. The TV blared, “Desperate Housewives will be right back.”
“Such complex relationships,” Bowser bubbled, “it makes me want to meet a gardener for my very own. WAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!”
The door that led into the throne room slammed open, and one of Bowser’s assistants, Dry Bones #8124, briskly walked into the room.
“DRY BONES #8124,” Bowser shouted as he quickly switched off the monitor, “how many times have I told you not to interrupt me during my special thinking time?”
“Sorry sir,” Dry Bones #8124 replied earnestly, as he held up a large poster displaying a few bar graphs and charts, “but, here I have some important information on Mario.”
“I know no Mario!” Bowser thundered.
“Actually, yes you do,” Dry said, “he’s your arch enemy. He’s the plumber who has defeated you every time you capture Princess Peach or play some sport against him. Remember?”
“I was joking, you dimwitted piece of scum,” Bowser sighed, “now what were you going to say?”
“Yes,” Dry Bones stuttered, “studies show that Mario is currently 0.002% less scared of you than he was a month ago.”
“Mario’s not scared of me at all, stupid,” Bowser pointed out.
“That’s just it,” Dry Bones admitted, “he’s negative 0.002% scared of you.”
“GO AWAY!”
“No. I’ve been sent to devise a battle plan to make you more powerful to Mario,” Dry Bones said, “and this time, it’s not going to be Princess Peach.”
“More like Princess Pee-Pee,” Bowser chuckled to himself, and then said, “what can we steal anyways?”
“I for one recommend we try to steal Mario’s Crystal Stars.”
“We already tried that, and it didn’t work,” Bowser whined.
“Well, sir, we tried capturing the Princess many, many times, but you never gave up.”
“I’d rather watch Desperate Housewives than steal some ruddy stars…”
“What was that, sir?”
“Nothing, I said…um…boy, don’t you just love football? Not effeminate at all,” Bowser yelled, “but, I guess I’ll catch those stars. Anything to make Mario more frightened of my presence. Warm up my kart, we’ll hit the road for Mario’s house. I’ll be down in just a minute.”
As Dry Bones #8124 headed out the double doors, Bowser quietly flipped back on the television.
“Aw, man,” Bowser exclaimed, “I missed Katherine telling Cory if she had an affair with the oriental gardener or not!”

COMING IN CHAPTER TWO
Will Bowser find the Crystal Stars at Mario’s house?
If so, will Mario gain a certain distrust of Bowser again?
Will Bowser’s estrogen-fueled obsession with Desperate Housewives be put to a stop?
FIND OUT!!!

[Screech]

I laughed out loud. And now everyone in my home thinks I'm crazy.
Thanks a lot.

[Ambulance Y]

That's what I do, make people go crazy!

[The Blue Toad]

Negative 0.002...haha!  Oh that is great.  This sounds like yet another interesting story.

[Ambulance Y]

Here's Chapter Two, enjoy!



CHAPTER TWO- Interrogation with a Toaster
   Luigi sat at the kitchen table staring at his toaster. He did this quite often, but for no particular reason. He was Luigi. People got used to his strange quirks and hobbies.
   “Are you-a havin’ a staring contest with that toaster again? Mamma Mia!” Mario exclaimed as he strolled into the room, holding his trademark tennis racket.
   “I’ve-a gots to go, bro. Gots a tennis game against Toad.” He took of out the door, and the revving of his kart marked his departure to the Princess’s royal courts. Luigi continued to stare at the toaster. It had been nearly two hours of silent toaster watching until….BOOOOOMMMM!!!
   The entire door was slashed to tiny pieces and two people crashed through the small opening. Luigi surprisingly looked up from the toaster, and after a few seconds of the dust clearing, he could plainly see that it was Bowser and one of his cronies.
   There was a long silence.
   “Say something scary,” Dry Bones #8124 whispered as he nudged Bowser in the ribs.
   Another silence.
   “Would…um…you please tell me where Mario’s Crystal Stars are?” Bowser whimpered as Dry Bones rolled his eyes, “…or else…heh.”
   “No,” Luigi simply stated.

30 MINUTES LATER

   Luigi was sitting at the same spot in the table, but now his hands were held inside the toaster by Dry Bones, while Bowser sat in a corner crying.
   “WAAAAAHHHHH! I can’t believe I yelled at somebody,” Bowser bubbled.
   “YOU DIDN’T,” Dry Bones shouted, “HE HARDLY EVEN HEARD YOU!”
   Dry Bones turned to Luigi.
   “Now, please tell me where the Crystal Stars are, or your little hands will become toaster strudels again,” Dry Bones interrogated.
   “I’m sorry, but I can’t,” Luigi spoke in a thick Italian accent.
   “Hope you enjoy this.”
   Dry Bones pressed down the toaster button.
   “AAAAAAHHHH!!! OKAY, OKAY,” Luigi screamed, “I DON’T KNOW! But, you can ask me Bro! He’s playing tennis with Toad at the castle! HAPPY!?”
   “Yes, very much so,” Dry Bones replied emotionlessly, as he released the button.
   Luigi flung his hands out in exasperation. They were burnt to a dark crisp and steam rose to the ceiling.
   “Bowser, we have to go kidnap Mario…now…let’s go.”
   “What?” Bowser muffled from the corner.
   Dry Bones looked over, and saw Bowser reading Seventeen.
   “Bowser, are you even concerned that one of your own henchmen is more feared than you are?” Dry asked in frustration.
   “No, I’m just concerned about the new fall trends and Desperate Housewives,” Bowser replied, “…er…uh…I mean of course that’s not true. I’m way more feared than you.”
   Dry Bones sighed and dragged Bowser outside.
   As Dry Bones #8124 drove the Bowser kart off into the distance, and the Koopa King himself sat in the back reading Seventeen, Luigi stood in his ruined doorway, with fried fingers, and upset about how he just revealed Mario’s location.

COMING IN CHAPTER THREE
Will Dry Bones and Bowser successfully kidnap Mario?
If so, will he reveal the secret location of the Crystal Stars?
Will Bowser discover the new fall trends?
FIND OUT!!!