For the Cafe:
--Graphics, storage space, and online capabilities that are at least equal to that of two systems that came out in the mid-2000s.
--A real name that doesn't suck.
--Don't really care if it launches with a Mario game, assuming Mario 3DS is any good. Actually, wait, I don't plan on getting a 3DS, so hit me with Super Mario Universe (no SMG rehashing anymore)
--Twilight Princess was awesome, but please just leave Skyward Sword on the Wii and come up with a new Zelda for this one later.
--I don't really care about F-Zero, or even really Star Fox. Pikmin 3... At this point, I just want them to do it to follow up on their word. As long as they don't secretly recycle areas from the first game again and make it into a rougelike without telling anyone again, I'm good.
--Some new Nintendo RPG might be nice.
--Get that other Chibi-Robo game out here, already! And crap or get off the pot with that 3D Kirby.
That's all I can think of for now.