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« on: June 10, 2002, 03:47:21 AM »
Survival Of The Fittest
* i dont make money off this and crash belongs to naughtydog, not me.*
chapter 1 the challenge of Evolution!
in the year 1830 a young scientist stood by a huge window in a british laboratory, watching the lightning.
his name was Charles Darwin.
as he stared at lightning, he wondered.
" man must come from a beast. where else did they come from?!"
darwin: and my machines with this lab rat will prove it. when my experment is over, he will evolve into a man.
darwin worked hard for months and months. one day he left his "rat"
out to get some fresh air. however, it didnt come back. when darwin
heard about it, he was totally upset. while his rat was gone,
darwin was laughed and scoffed at by his peers. one day, he finally died.
after his funeral, his body was kept in his lab, covered by a sheet.
but the " rat" returned. but it wasnt a rat. it was a bandicoot, and it had grown up to 8 inches in height!
its fur was dark brown, and he had huge muscle.
he looked at his dead master on the table under the sheet.
he had a collar under his neck.
it said " crunch".
crunch looked at his dead friend and his eyes watered. he quickly made a fist and howled, peircing the night air.
his eyes changed from green to red. blood foamed from his face.
he went into a rage, destroying the lab with his pinky?!
he ran outside and screamed.
crunch: i will kill WHOEVER trys to take my place as his..... friend.
ANYONE. ID KILL ANYONE. NO ONE IS SAFE. THE WORLD SHALL BOW TO EVOLUTION PERFECTION. GET READY, MANKIND, YOUR NEXT.
he would be waiting for that day. but he secretly survived until
the year 1996. there he would find his prey.
crash meets crunch
at crashs house, crash was playing " jak and daxter".
but while he was watching the ending..........
crash: WHAT?! stupid tv! it broke...... ****!
the house dissapeared and crash was sitting there, holding his controller.
crash: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?????!!!!!!!!
crunch: hello, crash. i have waited eons for you!
crash: uh, if your just some fanboy, im having some trouble, come back later!
crunch: im your WORST enemy.
crash: oh, great. another stupid enemy. i KILLED cortex and uka uka,
i thought that was over with!
crunch: too, bad! you killed my master because you were jealous of me.
crash: i dont even know you!
crunch: **** coward. lets see you handle this! go get em, troops!
three troops holding spears and sheilds charged at crash.
crash: WUMPA RAGE!!!!!!!!!!!1
a fire encicled crash and he was almost invincible.
crash smashed one of them into a million peices
while he shattered the others like glass as he kicked them.
crunch: very good. but before i go, id like to introduce you to the steam knight. GOODBYE, MY FRIEND!
the steam knight, a powerful robot, shot bullets and bombs at crash.
crash used his spin attack and chopped the steam knights legs off.
without its legs, the robot was helpless.
crash: hehheheheheh. better use the " wumps shot"!
crash took out a wumpa fruit out of his pocket and tossed it at the destroyed robot.
crash: well, now that ive got him, its time to find that crunch guy!
assault on the birds
at the hummingbird fort humming birds were getting ready.
army tanks rolled out, jets flew overhead.
commander tweet met with the message runner to hear of the news.
tweet: well, what?!
runner: crash has defeated the steam knight and is heading this way!
tweet: ok, men! its time to put that loser australian in his place!
LETS GO!!!!!!
meanwhile, crash was sneaking inside the fort.
but a camera spotted him.
crash took out his bazooka and ran right into fresh troops.
tweet: ATTACK! FIRE! BLOW HIM UP!
bullets, bombs, and grenades smashed up the earth but crash was still running.
tweet: ****! send more troops whilst i escape! crash ran down a corridor blasting troops out of the way.
after he ran out side he saw the airship escaping with tweet.
tweet: SAYONARA, SUCKERS!
crash: hey, that rope!
crash grabbed the rope and climbed up the side of the airship as
it was airborne.
tweet: hm, that loser must have been bombed!
now its time to drink some tea.
but all of the guards were dead. with bullets in their bodies.
then tweet looked up.
tweet: ITSSSSSS.......... THAT STUPID @$%#$@%#$%@%# ANIMAL!
crash: no tea for the wicked.
crash shot tweet in the foot.
then he picked him up and was holding him over the edge.
tweet: NO! dont throw me! not to my,........ DOOM!
crash: goodbye, tweet!
crash tossed him of the edge and tweet screamed obscenities at crash.
tweet: @$#%@$$# YOU CRASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
crash: with them out of the way, i can fly this airship too wherever crunch is.
ambush at the trigger of my hair!
that night crash was flying his airship he stole from the birds to
midnight island. crash fell asleep after a while.
but......... in the water were gun turrets that were aiming at the inflated balloon on the top of the ship.
as soon as they fired they ballon broke and crash woke up.
crash: AAAAA! im gonna crash! hey, maybe i can land on that beach down there!
crash adjusted the steering wheel to were it could land on the beach.
with a loud thud, he crash landed there.
crash: eheheh! looks like there are no enemies here!
however, enemies were cornering him.
crash: cowards. i can hear them shaking.
the troops with their swords charged at crash but he doublejumped over them.
when he came back down, he knocked them down with his slide.
as they got up, he snet them flying through the air with his spin.
crash: want some more, HUH?!
crunch: ahhaahahha! welcome to the launchpad! here, i will go to outer space. and in my space station i will charge up the evolvo ray and blast the earth!
crash: WHAT?!
crunch: whilst i escape, go, SHADOW CRASH!
hasta la vista!
as the rocket took off, a black bandicoot came from the sky and smashed
crash in the face.
crash: huh, you want some. THEN COME AND GET SOME!
crash rapidly punched the shadow in the face, but it wasnt affected.
the shadow continued to pummel crash.
crash: man! what am i gonna do?! this shadow guy, i cant see him!
wait a minute....... the full moon! if i can let the light shine on him, he will dissapear. over here, you big *******!
the shadow was instantly vaporized by the moonbeams.
crash: light makes shadows dissapear!
oh, yeah........ its time to kill crunch!
crash strapped on his jetpack and and took off for the space stronghold, ready to fight.
the end of evolotion evil
as crash flew through space, crunchs air fighters
flew at him.
crash: come and get some!
while flying he spun the first two and the other three shot at him.
crash flew between shots and spun the others onti explosions.
crash landed on the edge of the space station and quietly
snuck through the halls to the main room.
crash: well, theres the beam cannon. all i have to do is destroy it!
but how..........
crunch: like this.
crunch knocked crash down and beat him down with kicks and punches.
and then he threw him down a vent.
crunch: hehehehehe! its time too.......... FIRE THE CANNON!!!!!!!!
crunch pressed the button.
the beam fired at earth.
but crash jumped in front of it and spun it back at the station.
crunch: NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YYYYYYOOOOOUUUUUUUU BBBBBAAAAAASSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTAAAAAARRRRRRRDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!
the beam destroyed the station, and turned crunch into a helpless
little coward.
crash aimed his bazooka at his head.
crunch: you wouldnt!
crash: i would.
crash shot that little *******s brains out.
his body explode into harmless little peices.
crash: with him out of the way, earth will be safe again! lets go!
crash strapped on his jetpack and flew back to earth.
as long as there is a hero like crash, earth will be a safe place to live.
THE END.
im a loaded gun with a switch on the trigger.
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