I am about to go into severe ANGST mode. You've been warned.
After struggling to keep ahead for about two months, LD finally passed me in post count, usurping my long-held position of having the second highest number of posts. I managed to meet my first goal--making it through the year 2006 before he passed me--but I failed my second goal, reaching 5000 posts before he passed me. I was doing really well, too! I'd finally gotten to a point where I felt relatively safely ahead of him so that I didn't have to worry. But nooooooooooooo, he had to swoop in and post 11 times in a row yesterday night, and yet another blow of 10 posts tonight. Who does that? That's insane! No one needs to post that much that quickly. Thanks a lot, LD, you've made me lose all hope.
If that weren't enough, I know this is horrible and I feel bad for feeling this way, but I feel somewhat insulted that I didn't win ANY ADVANCED awards this year, considering I won several last year. I don't care about the amount, but at least one would've been nice.
I also have ANGST because my mom somehow managed to mess up my MP3 player, and I have absolutely no idea how she could've done that, even just by fiddling with random buttons. It's not like it's that hard to figure out how to use in the first place.
More ANGST because I want to transfer to a specific college for next spring, doing one more semester at my current school, but apparently it's Fall or nothing. (Pun unintended.) So I need to figure out what I'm going to do ASAP and I don't feel like dealing with it.
Continue the ANGST because of the annoying overly-commercialized incredibly sappy holiday coming up that makes people all obsessive and whiny. Haha, my whining about others' whining is so hypocritical. Anyway, the whole thing just gives a depressing vibe, and I don't want to be sucked into it.
I also have a paper due Tues, but eh. I'm exhausted and I'm rambling and more than anything I feel like I keep getting blows to my head...or ego, or something. I've thought about it for several months now, but don't be surprised if I severely cut back on my involvement here. Keeping my post count ahead and completing the awards stuff has really been my only motivation for being active here. Other than duty, I guess. I'm not making any promises, though, either way.
I'm such a selfish person, it's terrible. :(
I'm going to go now and sit in my corner and cry.
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