_

[Lizard Dude]

Kittens and Caps

(By Jeanette Larson)

The three little kittens,

The ones who lost their mittens,

Also lost their caps.

The three little kittens who lost their caps,

Soon began to cry.

Oh, mother dear, see here, see here

Our pretty caps we've lost.



You naughty kittens, you lost your mittens

and now you've lost your caps!

Mee-ow, mee-ow, mee-ow!

You shall have no pie.



The three little kittens

They found their caps

and they began to cry.

Oh, mother dear, see here, see here

We've found our caps again.

Red, yellow, and blue as sky.

We shall have some pie!

[Black Mage]

Caps for Sale

(Author unknown)

Caps for sale

Caps for sale

Caps upon my head,

Caps for sale,

Caps for sale,

Yellow, blue and red.

[TEM]

The Family Monkey



(By Russell Edson)



We bought an electric monkey, experimenting rather

recklessly with funds carefully gathered since

grandfather's time for the purchase of a steam monkey.



We had either, by this time, the choice of an electric

or gas monkey.



The steam monkey is no longer being made, said the monkey

merchant.



But the family always planned on a steam monkey.



Well, said the monkey merchant, just as the wind-up monkey

gave way to the steam monkey, the steam monkey has given way

to the gas and electric monkeys.



Is that like the grandfather clock being replaced by the

grandchild clock?



Sort of, said the monkey merchant.



So we bought the electric monkey, and plugged its umbilical

cord into the wall.



The smoke coming out of its fur told us something was wrong.



We had electrocuted the family monkey.

Edited by - TEM on 7/29/2005 10:59:42 AM

[A]

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold

-William Carlos Williams
---------------------------------


I have gorged on
the chips
that you had
stashed away

and which
were a limited
flavor,
discontinued

Forgive me
the store was so far
away:
TWO WHOLE BLOCKS!

-Those Plums were from Georgia!

---------------------------

I have bludgeoned
your [darn]ed
jam box out
of revenge

and spite.
I was saving those
snacks to
entertain.

By the way,
your mix tapes were whack
and dull
and just lame

-Dude, you can always get more friggin’ plums. William Carlos Williams

------------------------

I have called up
each of
your girlfriends
claiming to

be you
requesting blood-work
be done
most quickly

Forgive me
they were quite upset
and yelled
obscene words

-Georgia! I drove to Georgia, you lazy git! Oh, and one more thing! My jams were too fresh for you to handle!

---------------------------------

I have not read
your note
as I was
with your mom

all night
you know what I mean
oh yeah
I went there

Forgive me
she came onto me
so sweet
and so cold

- You didn’t even write your name on those plums!– William Carlos Williams

---------------------

I have a gun
bullets
and reason
to kill you

Turn around
and you die, Williams
got that
you will die

Get into
the fridge lacking plums
so sweet
and so cold

-You can eat my plums and stop my jams. But, no one disses my momma.

---------------------

I have survived
your trap
and escaped
the icebox

You failed
to properly lock
and now
I am cold

Forgive me
the gas oven was on
and I
had a match.

- Maybe a little fire will teach you some manners. It did wonders for your mom! Will-(The rest of this note is illegible, due to extensive burn damage.)

--------------------------

I have beaten
the poet
by coating
the kitchen

In oil
it burned quite quickly
save for
the poet

Forgive me
but I must now go
I need
To buy plums.

-Anonymous note left near the crime scene.

[PaperLuigi]

I've theorized that A is just The Chef and he's bumping a bunch of topics to make a point.

[Insane Steve]

Yea, pretty sure A is an alt of someone.

That said, the posts are relevant for the most part so I'm going to hold off on doing anything too rash.

Also:

The label was handed out today
Not fit for human consumption
What a nerve! Who would say that?
About another human being
Who has the right?
Who can sit and judge another

Not fit for human consumption
Hard one to deal with
Angry with others, cross with his brother
Mad at his dad sad at his mother
Missing his son, not even sure why.

Not fit for human consumption
Who dares to point and label?
You tell me which one of us is able
Could you, you over in the corner
You on the stair, don’t you point and say
Not fit for human consumption

Its me who’s put the tag on that person
It’s me who knows the truth.
Its me this is about, yes I point at me
The one who knows best has tagged me
Not fit for human consumption

R 2.30 PM May 6th 2003

Found this on a hotel computer, just out of nowhere. Yea.

[ShadowBrain]

Oh, no wonder I'm seeing so many "new" threads in my Unread Posts menu... we've got a "new member" on our hands.

So what is the point of this thread? Short poems by other people? I won't even bother asking about the title--this was 2005, after all.

[Black Mage]

Happy Hats

(By Esphyr Slobodkina)

I wear my hat upon my head

 I wear my hat upon my hair

 I wear it here I wear it there

 My hat and I go everywhere.

 
 I wear it in the rain and snow

 I wear it even when it's hot

 My hair feels lonely when its off

 My head feels happy when its not.

 
 And when it's time to get to bed

 And Mama says, "Take off your hat,"

 I do exactly as I'm told

 And put it on my kitty cat!

[A]

My Beard

My beard grows down to my toes,
I never wears no clothes,
I wraps my hair
Around my bare,
And down the road I goes.

- Shel Silverstein

[Lizard Dude]

I won't even bother asking about the title--this was 2005, after all.

What's that supposed to mean?

[ShadowBrain]

From what I can gather, things were a little weird back then.

[PaperLuigi]

Um, they're weirder now I assure you.

[Luigison]

Larry Platt: Pants On The Ground Lyrics

Pants on the Ground
Pants on the Ground

Lookin' like a fool
With your pants on the Ground
With the gold in your mouth
Hat turned sideways
Pants hit the ground

Call yourself a cool cat
With your pants on the ground

Walkin' downtown with your pants on the ground!
Giddy-up

Hey! Get your pants off the ground!
Lookin like a fool!

Walkin' talkin' with your pants on the ground!

Hey! Get your pants off the ground!
Lookin' like a fool
With your pants on the Ground
With the gold in your mouth
Hat turned sideways
Call yourself a cool cat

Pants on the ground!

Michelle ignore this change
(repeats)

[CrossEyed7]

Trucker King: A Sonniku
by me

Left arm, a tan. / Right arm does not have one. / What does this mean?
Windows all down. / Sweat is flowing freely. / Nothing else does.
His butt flattened, / Here he sits on his throne: / The trucker king
Sun beating down, / Engine getting tired; / Running from fuzz.
Need more coffee. / No, not pumpkin flavor. / Just one with buzz.
A tire blows, / The cop has briefly won. / Over he pulls.
A ticket wrote, / The trucker king drives off, / Away from Gus.
Another load: / Christmas trees already? / What is this bull?
Windows up now / Once-flowing sweat has froze / Now, time to mull.
Tickets are bad, / Temperatures are cruel, / But, is there hope?
Chains on tires, / No longer on his heart, / Actually full.
He is Santa / He is all of mankind / And he is home.
He drives back out / Through flooded streets, he smiles. / Through anything.
He'll never die / His truck will never fail / Long live the king

[Toad]

I think A is an alt for Crosseyed. Didn't he mention liking Shel Silverstein once..?

Also

..things were a little weird awesome back then.

(Not that they're not awesome now, just less so)