You want pointless, I'll give you pointless.
This is a tale of wonder, adventure and fame, I played Irish sporting games and danced in the rain. I ate a lot of Irish pork and washed it down with beer, now this is my great story that I want you all to hear.
Oh when I was a player in the Irish Football league, I knocked a guy for such a loop that he couldn't even breathe. So I was charged for murder, but the charges were all dropped, when I told the jury in such a flurry, I'd been framed by a drunken cop.
I really hit rock bottom when I was 33, I got tricked into signing with an Irish Wrestling team. I won most all me matches, but when I walked away, the business went downhill from there and they told me I would pay.
My life came to a head, when I turned 55, I joined a group named Purple Haze and we went touring live. But one night when we all were telling clean cut redneck jokes, I offended a man with a gun in his hand and that was all she wrote. I thought I was a goner, but I got fantastic care. They really know their stuff down at the Mayo Clinic, there. Now I sit here in my basement, retired and alive. I hope I have one more adventure before I finally die.