This is my video game review of Dong Dong Never Die for the Microsoft Windows. My review for this game is bittersweet, so don't hate me for trashing it through most of the review. Also, this review contains ***SPOILARS***. You, my friend, have been warned. Let's start.
Dong Dong Never Die is a Chinese freeware 2D fighting game.
In 2009 there was a big fighting tournament in China, but then a bunch of fighters disappeared before the finals. All clues pointed to a mysterious "Biochemistry Man." So policeman Dongdong went undercover as a fighter to try to unravel this mystery.
The game has twenty-four playable fighters; similar to the older Mortal Kombat games, most of them are digitized actors (two, a stick-figure training dummy and Mario, are ordinary CG). Their animations are for the most part incredibly fluid, and the game runs very smoothly.
Much of the game pays homage to, well, everything. One character's moveset is ripped straight from Guile (along with having a Chinese replica of Guile's stage, complete with music). Another is an Iori clone (just for Mr. Wiggles). A third is a direct copy of Ryu, complete with voiceclips. And Mario has Akuma's moveset. There's also an Asian Terminator and an Asian Michael Jackson. And the stage music is all over the place - there's music from works as different as Hokuto no Ken and Wii Sports in there.
The only problem is, well, the game's balance is terrible. Pretty much everyone has some sort of infinite combo, and your starting special gauge is based on which character you pick, so some characters are at a distinct advantage from the start. And, bafflingly, special gauges don't stop filling during supers (though combo damage degrades properly, at least).
But you won't care because it's hilarious and loads of fun. And it has netplay. And did I mention it's free?
I give this game a 3 out of 10.