Author Topic: Wario's diary (I couldn't resist.) (Read 11005 times)

BP · « **on:** September 26, 2005, 07:03:16 PM »

Every day I'll post a day of Wario's life.

9/26/05- The alarm clock must be broken. It goes off as if trying to wake me up, so I threw it across the room. I arm wrestled a kid in the park today. He made me pay for the operation afterward. I wanted to eat chips, but we were out of lard. I substituted it with Crisco but it wasn't as good.

My friend John: Wow! I can see my own breath! It''s already that time of year?
Me: No. Your breath just smells. Really bad.

PaperLuigi · « **Reply #1 on:** September 26, 2005, 07:17:16 PM »

Wario seems to be gaining fans around the story boards. Is it his stupidity, or hunger? Who knows for sure, but whatever the case, he's great to make fun of.

"And I realized a chyojin doesn''t need useless power. What''s Important and surpasses power is spirit....." Buffaloman from Kinnikuman.

BP · « **Reply #2 on:** September 27, 2005, 05:25:14 PM »

9/27/05
Waluigi forced me to take a shower today. It was the first time I ever took my clothes off. I realized how hairy my armpits are. Anyway, it took a long time to cover my entire body with soap. Then I got soap in my eyes. 2 minutes later, I noticed and it burned. So I washed them out with soap, but they just burned more. I don't get it. Showering takes this much effort and inflicts so much pain, and you're just gonna get dirty again. I'm never taking a shower again.

My friend John: Wow! I can see my own breath! It''s already that time of year?
Me: No. Your breath just smells. Really bad.

kurtvegita · « **Reply #3 on:** September 28, 2005, 11:19:06 AM »

This is very good, keep going!

BP · « **Reply #4 on:** September 28, 2005, 05:34:39 PM »

9/28/05- It's Waluigi's birthday! I want to give him a DS. So I went to Gamestop to sell my DS to pay for one. It was in perfect condition. I sold it and got $50. The clerk put it on the top of the used shelf. Then, on the top of the used shelf, I saw a DS in perfect condition! It was only $120! I bought it and wrapped it. Waluigi's gonna love it.

It's after the birthday party! No one showed up. So that means everyone we invited came! Waluigi unwrapped it and said, "Wow, a DS."

I can talk English more better than you.

BP · « **Reply #5 on:** September 29, 2005, 05:33:04 PM »

WHERE'S MY DS?!?!?!?!?!?

Waluigi said I probably ate it. I think he's right.

Suffix · « **Reply #6 on:** September 29, 2005, 09:32:12 PM »

Bwahahahaha, that return-buy was pretty brilliant.

BP · « **Reply #7 on:** September 30, 2005, 07:04:27 PM »

Today when I was picking my nose I realized I had a butt-chin. So I picked that instead and found some lint.
I got a cat from the pet store and named him Wario Jr. When I called him that he scratched my face. Then I went to the food court to get some food. The guy at the mall said "You can't have your pets here." I said "No problem!" and I don't remember what happened after that...
Anyway, now my cat's lost. What happened to Wario Jr.?

I can talk English more better than you.

BP · « **Reply #8 on:** October 01, 2005, 01:02:02 PM »

I still can't remember what I did at the food court, but I found some cat hair in my teeth.
Well I went back today to get a gerbil. They said "We're out of gerbil boxes." I said "No problem!" And I don't remember what happened after that. I wish I had a better memory...

If birds breathed fire everytime they posted, the forum would''ve blow''d up by now.

smfan1085 · « **Reply #9 on:** October 01, 2005, 09:27:00 PM »

This is just great. XDDDDD

_______
j00r 73h r0x0r, d00d!

BP · « **Reply #10 on:** October 02, 2005, 01:22:48 PM »

I felt like something was crawling around in my enormous belly, so I went to the doctor. He took an x-ray. Now I know where my cat and gerbil are... And my couch and my sandwich and my alarm clock and my cd and my palmpilot and my talking Donald Trump Bobblehead and my pen and my TV and my WaveBird and my umbrella and my GameBoy Color and my Nintendo Cleaning Wand that I never used and my bike and my bedroom doorknob. Waluigi said, "God, Wario. You've eaten everything but the kitchen sink." The doctor said, "No, he ate that, too. See?" I guess I shouldn't eat so much. The doctor didn't find my DS, though...

I'm hungry.

If birds breathed fire everytime they posted, the forum would''ve blow''d up by now.

PaperLuigi · « **Reply #11 on:** October 02, 2005, 02:55:29 PM »

This gets better every day. I think Wario ate the D.S, but it got.........yeah, I won't say anymore. XD

I''m-a Luigi! Number-a one!

BP · « **Reply #12 on:** October 02, 2005, 07:58:02 PM »

Don't you get it? He sold the DS, the clerk put it on the shelf, he bought it and gave it to Waluigi! I know it's vague; it IS Wario writing this!

If birds breathed fire everytime they posted, the forum would''ve blow''d up by now.

PaperLuigi · « **Reply #13 on:** October 03, 2005, 05:56:09 PM »

Three words: Wario. Is. Dumb. Hahahaha! This is the best thing ever.

I''m-a Luigi! Number-a one!

BP · « **Reply #14 on:** October 03, 2005, 06:01:02 PM »

Last night we went to denny's. I ordered the biggest thing on the menu (I can't remember what it was)and Waluigi stole one of my french fries. Then he said "Ooh, I'm STUFFED!" and fainted. Then I went to cold stone and ordered extra large. Vanilla bean.

So any way I found a magic lump. It was the most beautiful lump I've ever seen. I pet the lump and it said "You have 3 wishes!" So I said "I wish I had a hundred kajillion dollars!" And it said "That's not a real number, you have 2 left." "******! I wish I had no more taxes!" So the lump said "You already don't. You beat up all the tax collectors, remember?" "***! I'll save the loast one for later." And I put the lump in my pocket. Later came and the lump said "WISH NOW!" "****, I wish you'd shut up." and it disappeared.

If birds breathed fire everytime they posted, the forum would''ve blow''d up by now.