Author Topic: Wario's diary (I couldn't resist.) (Read 11002 times)

Bigluigifan1.0 · « **Reply #30 on:** October 17, 2005, 02:27:20 PM »

(I hate double posting) 10/17/05
Hello, this is Waluigi.
Wario is not here, he said something about "finding a guy for the police. I don't like the idea, because last time he did something like that, he almost got arrest by the FBI, for trying to put one of thier agents in jail, only because the guy had a strange black van, and have the reputation of a scared guy, mostly because Wario will beat my stomach to death later, and that forces me to go to the hospital, and they give me a freaking feeding tube, that makes my stomach puff back up again.

_____________________________
Guy:That dial tone is annoying.

Other Guy: Well thats because someone''s cat was strangled on the phone line.

Glorb · « **Reply #31 on:** November 01, 2005, 02:37:40 PM »

11/1/05

Yesterday was Halloween, and I had so much candy that I passed out. I awoke hours later in a police station, and I felt rather cold. I was wearing some kind of makeshift gown. They said I was in jail for something that begins with an "in-", I think.

Note to self: Don't go as a nudist next year.

-------------------------------------
"How are you gentlemen !! All your base are belong to us !! You are on the way to destruction. You have no chance to survive make your time. HA HA HA HA ...."
-Cats, Zero Wing (Genesis)

BP · « **Reply #32 on:** November 09, 2005, 01:18:40 AM »

11/8/05
Some stickly guy called Waluigi bailed me out of jail. Again.
I was counting the mounds of cash in my room. I lost count at around... $2. So after counting the candy in the enormous sack for Halloween (I got around... 2 pieces of taffy), I decided to go to the candy store.
I forgot to bring money with me, so I tried doing what the other people do: use a card. So I pulled out a library card my mom gave me as a kid. It had For God's sake, PLEASE USE THIS!!!" -Mom written on it. But I can't read. So I got hungry witing in line so I ate some fudge. And some gummi marsupials. And a few jawbreakers. And some M&Ms. And a couple of bags of skittles. And a couple of Wonder Spheres. But it turns out the Library didn't have any money for me in it. The cops came in and arrested me for eating the candy without paying for it. When I got in the cell, I found a note in my pocket. It said Wario, that's the last freakin time I bail you out. You'll have to wait it out next tme. -Waluigi. I wish I could read that note.

Corn is no place for a mighty warrior!

Edited by - Bird Person on 11/8/2005 11:20:56 PM

dude677 · « **Reply #33 on:** November 19, 2005, 12:02:24 PM »

11/19/05

I hate life. I must'a gained a few pounds, as when I got on my scale, it said 'To be continued'. I can't read it, but I bet I know what it means. Stupid off the counter appliances. I don't know why I don't know how to read, yet I can still write. Oh well, nothing's gonna happen.
Waluigi told me to go to pre-school today. 5 minutes later, I got kicked out. Was it because I beat up that kid, or I wrote the ABC's backwards? Anyway, I found my DS. In was in my pocket all this time. Waluigi must'a put it there. It was all smashed.
I went to Gamestop. THe guy at the counter said he wouldn't accept my DS. I threatend to punch him. HE threatend to call the police. The cops laughed at me. Told me I write in diary, said it was a girl thing. I forgot what happened next, but I held a steering wheel in my hand that wasn't conected to the car, and a police cruiser was right next to me, flat like a pancake.
I didn't go to jail, but that darn scale won't tell me my weight. It just tells me that "I've given birth to a new chin." I forgot what happened next, but all I remember was bring a scale to Shoppers. I traded it for another scale. Those that aren't digital. I couldn't read it, but it made sense. If it broke, then that must mean that I am as light as a feather. Ah, life is getting better.

PS: I still can't read, so how the heck can I proofread this entry? Oh well, proofreading is for nerds and squares. I am round. My tummy is round, and that's all that matters.

Yoshisaurus Rex · « **Reply #34 on:** November 19, 2005, 10:27:17 PM »

11/19/05

Oh what a terrible day! I thought that after losing so much stuff, going to jail so many times, and feeling sick from candy that life couldn't get any badder. But today I... I... I JUST LOST MY DIARY!! This is too much for me to take. Even though I can't read it later, and no one else would want to except for evidence maybe, I loved that diary like a bowl of sweet and nutty quadruple-fudge-with-lard ice cream! WAAAAAAAAAAAH!! *tears and chocolate stains on page*

But I'll be okay now. Because I got a new diary! Ha ha! Wario is so smart! I plan to start using it as soon as I finish my old one that I lost that I'm writing on right now. Until then I shall nag my brother to help me find it, or threaten to feed him fries again. Heh heh heh heh!

Mr. Koopa · « **Reply #35 on:** November 22, 2005, 04:23:34 PM »

11/21/05

I found my diary. I saw that my last page had peanut butter on it. So I ate it.
I stepped on the scale and it said "We don't Measure Livestock." I Finally Understood it! If I'm correct, Livestock is that concert I went to in the 60's. I guess they don't measure Lippies.

I decided to pick my chin and I found Toad and another chin. I was the luckiest guy in the World! So I went to Waluigi's Office and got arrested for dropping my pants to go to the bathroom! I asked what happened and they told me that I didn't go to a stall.
I thought it was one of those bathrooms where it moves up some stories. I guess that explains why there were people with breifcases were running in and out of it while some catchy music was playing. I didn't know Waluigi had an office.

Doo Doo do Dee Da Doo Da Da
Neerhaahhahahaha! I like that music.

dude677 · « **Reply #36 on:** November 22, 2005, 04:58:48 PM »

11/22/05

Today I went to the doctors. I had a rash all over my body. Dr. Mario said I was alergic to peanuts. I told him that I could still eat peanut butter since it had mostly buttler. He quit his job and went back to plumbing after, what he calls, 'So much dumb patients.'
I still have that rash. Yeesh, it itches. *scratches rash with diary* Ahhh, much better. Oh yeah, turns out me and Waluigi are brothers. THe other doc said that we were seperated at birth. THe doc told me I was the one that had to get away from mom, since I punched her and threatend to put the house on fire.
I still have that rash. Durn peanuts. Right now, I just eat butter, not peanut. It just tastes bad, that's all.

mario2_gold · « **Reply #37 on:** November 23, 2005, 12:54:21 PM »

11,er... I forgot what day it was.

dear strong bad,I mean diary,

Oh my god! I lost all of my diaries! and I can't afford a new one because I swallowed my money! Now I don't have any diaries to write in. Anyway, I destroyed Waluigi's house when I walked in because I fa... let's just say I had a green haze come out my rear end. Also I got into a fight when I rolled myself to Quahog and got into a fight with a fat man named Peter because he thought I was a big chicken. I won,I beat the crap out him, ah what am I kidding,I only won because I burped and he flew away. Well, I gotta go find my diary.

dude677 · « **Reply #38 on:** November 23, 2005, 05:09:58 PM »

11/23/05

My hair had grown uncontrolably these days. An afro had grown on my head, as well on my chest! I finaly learned how to read... food containers. I just can't tell what 'Stabilizaers' and 'Warning! This product contains poisons!' mean, but they sound appitizing. I think I'll get a drink now....
The doc screamed at me this afternoon. THey said I shouldn't drink window cleaners anymore, but I told him that it tasted like mints. He gave me medicine and told me to eat a pill once a day. I figured that if I wanted to heal faster, then I should take 'em all at once!!
Ugh, I don't feel too good...

NOTE TO SELF: Don't look through kitchen cabinets anymore, especially Mario's.

mario2_gold · « **Reply #39 on:** November 24, 2005, 08:44:43 AM »

11/24/05

dear diary,

I still cannot find any of my diarys. Plus, I found a string in my chin,so I pulled it and the skin on my face fell off.I punched the doctor for trieing to tape my face back,then I walked on the scale and could not be any rudder,it said,"get off my face you fat weirdo!" so I punched the stool and kicked it until the doctor inserted sleeping gas in the room while he had a gas mask on.and i am...getting(yawn) a...little ...d....dizz.....dizzy.WHOA! Sorry about that I'm still in the doctors office,and I farted a bruital fart and the doctor got killed by the fumes.And I nearly drowned in the beach today because I picked my chin while swimming.Stupid swimming place,it didn't have any lifeguards on duty.

hehehehehe,duty

dude677 · « **Reply #40 on:** December 31, 2005, 04:30:41 PM »

Dear diary,

New Years is nearing, and i want to make sure that i wait 'till 12 this time. It's getting real hard. Taping your eyes open ISN'T a good idea for staying awake. It makes me want to close my eyes even more.
*snap*
Ow, that HURT!

Hirocon · « **Reply #41 on:** December 31, 2005, 11:44:03 PM »

Dear Diary,

My nose started bleeding today for no reason. My finger was it it at the time; I tooked my hand out to reach for my plate of chicken and I saw the blood. I asked that weird thin guy what to do. He said I should use my napkin to stop the bleeding. What's a napkin? I decided to use a chicken bone instead. I stuck the bone in my nose but the bleeding didn't stop. I tried shoving the bone in farther, and suddenly I got a terrible splitting headache. I went to see the doctor, but the receptionist told me that the doctor had recently been killed by a farting patient. Some people are real idiots...

Hirocon · « **Reply #42 on:** December 31, 2005, 11:45:09 PM »

Dear Diary,

I stuck my finger in my nose today and found a chicken bone. How'd that get there? There was no chicken on it, I checked...

Bigluigifan1.0 · « **Reply #43 on:** January 01, 2006, 12:58:34 AM »

01/01/05

Hello guyz! Is it someone's b-day today? Everyone says today is special. What does that mean? A guy came up to me today and gave me some strange-looking medicine, then I farted and everyone fell on the floor, so I toke all thier money, for some reason, I'm in jail again.

Ultima Shadow · « **Reply #44 on:** January 01, 2006, 02:03:56 AM »

Dear Diary,

I'm still in jail, and I'm going nuts from being too lonely! Then, this banana teleported in front of me, and started singing and dancing, so I bashed it because I hate dancing bananas. The guy in the cell next to me's really weird, though. He looks a bit like me, and he says his name is Mario. Ha! That's like an anti-Me!

Anyway, this Mabio freak is trying to reach the keys that are being held by the dog. What a moron! I tried to talk to Yabio, but he didn't want to listen to me.

Hey! Yebio got out early! Why's he out already? Oh, well, the Banana guy and I are trying to befriend that dog. Maybe he'll let me free?