Messages

1

Mario Chat / Re: does any one know where to get mario cartoon videos?

« on: June 05, 2006, 08:29:39 PM »

To answer the question, most of Danny F.'s Mario cartoon video files are now viewable at YouTube. Interestingly, there's barely any video files of the SMB Super Show there, though that's probably to make demand for the DVD set. No loss for me, though; SMB3 and SMW were better anyway!

2

Mario Chat / Re: Should there be a new Mario cartoon?

« on: March 27, 2006, 10:28:01 PM »

You may be right when you say that the animation got even worse after the first series, but if you ask me, Adventures of SMB3 and SMW were much better than the Super Show in terms of being true to the games. (I'm not sure if the writing was any better, though, considering that "The Ugly Mermaid" is probably one of the stupidest episodes they ever did.) I mean, c'mon, the Super Show had the gang doing out-of-place movie parodies for no apparent reason! (Ironically, the episode that's just been mentioned was a "Ninja Turtles" riff.) It's enough to make me think the writers had Super Mario confused with Bugs Bunny. (In fact, the episode "Koopa Klaus" has the good guys arriving by way of burrowing and emerging from underground, similar to Bugs.)
Speaking of the Super Show, it's getting a DVD set tomorrow that features the first 24 episodes (in production order, that is). I probably won't be getting it, though, because they most likely still haven't bothered bringing the songs back to the action sequences. (And this is coming from the same company that released "Heathcliff" the way it originally aired.) Amazingly, I haven't seen a single mention of the set on this side save for this forum.

3

Mario Chat / Re: Should there be a new Mario cartoon?

« on: March 20, 2006, 01:28:02 PM »

I still say that if Mario ever gets a new cartoon, DiC should be left out of it. They probably think the Princess is still regularly called Princess Toadstool. Besides, given that Mario was created in Japan to start with, why shouldn't he be done as an anime? "Inspector Gadget" and "Heathcliff" were animated in Japan, and they're not Japanese creations.
And in reply to Mr. Wiggles' DKCTV-bashing comment - I totally disagree. The "Donkey Kong Country" cartoon was a far better video game cartoon than "The Super Mario Bros. Super Show" if you ask me.

4

Forum Games / Re: Ask a stupid Qusestion get a stupid answer

« on: December 09, 2005, 11:02:54 PM »

No.

Why is Inspector Gadget the star of his cartoon show if Penny and Brain are the ones doing all the work?

5

Mario Chat / Re: Should there be a new Mario cartoon?

« on: November 29, 2005, 10:00:56 PM »

The cartoons (starting at latest with AOSMB3) follow the old theatrical short subject format (loosely).

Actually, I'm pretty sure they were already going by the theatrical short format in the SMB Super Show as well. Keep in mind that every four out of five SMB Super Show episodes were Bug Bunny-ish parodies of whatever there was to be ripped off.

6

Fan Creations / Re: King Koopa Katastrophe Spoof 2

« on: November 21, 2005, 04:15:53 PM »

"You see, sibs? I caught zose lousy Marios!" Ludwig tossed the wand in his hand. "Clearly, I'm ze one most suited to vield zis vand."
"Oh no, you're not!" said a voice from behind. The Koopalings turned to see Dr. Donez, Bill, and Fred standing right behind them. "I've traveled to an ice cream parlor and back; that wand belongs to me, the good-evil... DR. DONEZ!" said Dr. Donez, executing another close-up on himself.
"No fair!" cried out Iggy, Lemmy, Morton, and Bowser Jr. "We didn't even get to use the Plotdevice Wand!"
"Plotdevice Wand?" Fred, still in his Spanyard-Man costume, was taken back at the name.
"Sounds like a corny plot device if you ask me," said Bill.
"Regardless," continued Dr. Donez, "you will hand over the so-called plot device, or else."
"Nothing doing, Tweeter-brains!" Ludwig stood defiantly.
"Oh, goody, I hoped you'd say that! DEATHLY DEATH RAY OF DEATHLY DEATHNESS!" Fred executed his signature move, but Ludwig was too quick for him. Ludwig swung the Plotdevice Wand right at the moment it seemed the Deathly Death Ray of Deathly Deathliness was about to connect, so it went flying back. Fred screamed as his own ray scorched him. "Uh, did you order regular or extra crispy?" he stammered before turning into a pile of ashes with eyeballs.
"Ugh. Get me that wand, Bill!" Dr. Donez ordered his Pidgit companion.
"Yes sir, DR. DONEZ!" Bill made a close-up on his fellow bird before swooping at Ludwig and pecking at his head.
While he was doing that, Dr. Donez grabbed the wand. "Ha-ha! Cower, you bad-evil fools, at the almighty... DR. DONEZ!"
"That's what you think!" Bowser suddenly swooped down in his Koopa Clown Car and snatched the wand from Dr. Donez. "I don't know who you three are, but when you cross King Bowser Koopa, you go spuh-lat!" And with that, he zapped Dr. Donez, Bill, and Fred (who had by now resurrected himself), turning them into sports trophies.
"That was a great trick, King Dad!" complimented Morton. "Can you make them into a wedding cake next?"
"Silence, Bigmouth! In fact, silence to all eight of you!" Bowser roared, pointing the wand at his kids. "I'm coming close to proving that..." He went into quick spasms again. "...FAIRY GODPARENTS! exist, and I'm not letting you kids spoil my victory like you always do! The Plotdevice Wand is staying in my grasp, and I dare anyone to take it from me!"
"WE DARE!" came a bunch of voices from offscreen.
Bowser turned around and gasped at the sight in front of him. A dozen top villains from other video game cartoons had shown up. "Eh, what's up, docs?" the Koopa King asked them.
"HAND OVER THE PLOTDEVICE WAND!" the other villains yelled out, in unison.
"What!" Bowser was astonished. "Why should I hand over my trophy to you amateurs? Uh, no offense, my fellow Tomato Sauce Vampires," he then apologized to a quarter of them.
"None taken, Koopula," King K. Rool addressed his fellow vampire formally. "But the thing is, the so-called Plotdevice Wand is a powerful prize worthy of a first-class villain, and so, it should belong to me! With it, I'll finally be able to steal the Crystal Coconut!"
"That's all you want, K. Rool? A stupid coconut?" Ganon looked appalled. "That's nothing compared to what I plan to do! I'll not only steal the Triforce of Wisdom, I'll be able to find and steal the Triforce of Courage as well, allowing me to rule Hyrule forever!"
"Nuts to that!" scoffed Giovanni. "With the Plotdevice Wand, I don't need to send those idiots Jessie and James after that Pikachu anymore. I can just use the Wand to feed my MechaMew2 the techniques it's missing, thus making it and myself invincible to all who oppose me!"
"Well, what about me!" yelled Mezmoran. "Those Pac-creeps keep using Power Pellets to defeat me and my Ghost Monsters! I could use the wand to find the Power Pellet Forest and confiscate those things!"
"Bah! You people have no idea what a true evil mastermind can do with the Plotdevice Wand!" said Cloaked Nightmare, glowing purple. "It may be just the thing I need to counter that cursed Star Rod! Say, Koopa, didn't you steal that thing once?"
"Dagnabbit! Am I the only one planning to use it for enemy death!" yelled the Shadow Master. "I want to kill those insipid Lee Brothers, and the Plotdevice Wand will help me do it!"
"Forget it, Shadow *******!" The Dark Queen struck a pose. "The Plotdevice Wand is mine!"
Bowser looked at the Dark Queen. "I don't even know this chick!"
"Silence, fool! And bow! You stand in the presence of the Dark Queen!" the hot villainess introduced herself. "I was the antagonist of the 'Battletoads' cartoon! Or at least I would've been, had those DiC Entertainment cheapskates have given it more than a stupid pilot! Remind me to obliterate them in addition to those wretched Bumbletoads once the Plotdevice Wand is in my grasp!"
"Why simply kill your foes when you can just make them your slave?" pointed out Dr. Robotnik, sitting in his Egg-o-matic. "That's what I'll do with the Plotdevice Wand - turn Sonic the Hedgehog into a workerbot! Not to mention steal all the Chaos Emeralds, and take over Mobius! Not to mention pollute it!"
"Nuts to you, Eggman! I plan to conquer my own homeworld!" said Dr. Wily from his flying saucer. "And with that stick, I can make my Robot Masters indestructible, and therefore unable to be beaten by the blue robotic pain Mega Man!"
"You always were a dreamer, weren't you, Wily? Simple world domination isn't enough for me!" shouted Mother Brain. "The Plotdevice Wand shall allow me, Mother Brain, beautiful goddess that I am, to become queen of Videoland!"
"Bah! I can do better!" declared M. Bison. "I'll use that rod to destroy the world! If the planet won't accept me as its ruler, IT DESERVES TO DIE!" He cackled like mad while his eyes glowed green.
"My intentions are similar to those of Bison," clarified the bazooka-wielding Evil the Cat, "only much bigger; I intend to destroy the universe!"
"So as you can see, Koopula," Giovanni addressed Bowser formally as well, "we all have our own plans for the wand. So hand it over!"
Bowser backed up a bit. "Forget it, y'all! This wand is just what I need to capture..." Once more, he spasmed. "...A FAIRY GODPARENT! And I'm not giving it up!"
"Fine then, we'll just do this the hard way!" Nightmare shot some of his hand-bullets in Bowser's direction, but King Koopa was quick enough to deflect them before they connected. The hand-bullets came flying back and side-swiped Nightmare in the head.
"Why attack by yourself when you can have your Pokémon attack for you?" Giovanni threw one of his PokéBalls, and out came his Golem.
"Golem," said Golem loudly.
"Golem, Rock Throw!" Team Rocket's Boss commanded.
Golem immediately proceeded to throw rocks at Bowser. But just like with Nightmare's bullets, Bowser zapped them with the wand and sent them flying back. The rocks hit Golem on its head and conked it out.
Giovanni was disgusted. "Golem, return!" he said, recalling Golem to its PokéBall.
"You want something done right, you have to do it yourself!" K. Rool threw his crown at Bowser like a boomerang. But the Koopa King grabbed the crown with his bare hands and threw it back at the Kremling King. The crown got lodged right in K. Rool's mouth.
The Dark Queen threw a fireball from her fist, but Bowser used the wand to catch it like a Harlem Globetrotter. Then he had the wand enlarge the fireball to about his size before throwing it back at the Dark Queen, scorching her completely. "Good thing it's only a cartoon," she said to herself.
"Prepare to become a workerbot, Koopa!" Robotnik took out his Robot Transmogrification Gun (the one he for no reason never tried shooting Sonic with) and shot at Bowser with it. But the reptile blocked it using the wand as a shield.
The beam reflected and hit the Shadow Master, roboticizing him. "Robotnik's word is law," he droned.
"You have a nice name, King Koopa... for me to carve on a tombstone!" M. Bison leaped at the Clown Car, performing the Psycho Crusher. But he barely dented it, for Bowser had used the wand to coat it with pure steel, and only hurt his hands. As Bison jumped about in midair holding his hands and yelping in pain, Bowser conked the wand on his head, sending him falling down.
"Face the wrath of my acid furball!" Forgetting about the bazooka in his hand, Evil spat out one of his acid furballs. But Bowser moved the Clown Car upward so that the acid furball hit the chopper blades (they were also turned into steel). Instead of disintegrating the blades, pieces of the acid furball went flying in all directions. Most of the other villains were hit, but no real harm was done to them. Bison had a hole burned in his cape, as did Mezmoran in his red cloak.
"Now look what you did!" Giovanni yelled, indicating the holes the acid furball pieces had made in his sleeves. "This was my best suit."
The biggest piece of acid furball, however, hit Evil dead on, disintegrating most of his skin. "A minor setback," Evil muttered.
And so Bowser continued in his merry way, defeating all his fellow video game cartoon villains in combat. He crushed Dr. Wily, trounced Ganon, creamed Mezmoran, thrashed Mother Brain, and recycled the roboticized Shadow Master. Soon, the other villains ran off cowering in fear.
"That's right; cower, you weaklings!" Bowser taunted. "No one can defeat me, as long as I have the Plotdevice Wand! Ba ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
"Wrong, dude!" Raccoon Mario suddenly came flying in, carrying Toad with him. As they flew over Bowser's head, Toad snatched the Plotdevice Wand from him. At that same moment, Caped Luigi flew overhead, not doing anything himself.
"Hey!" Bowser cried. "How the hell did you escape?"
"Simple; those Pipe Monsters have a lousy grip," Mario explained as he and Luigi landed on the top of Toad's House. Down below, Peach and Toadette were still just standing there like statues and not doing anything. "Okay, Toadie! It's time for your final magic trick!"
"Right!" Toad waved the wand one more time. "I order all da magic to stop!" And so it did. In time to the music, every magical thing around the house came to a stop. The living broom dropped its water buckets. The dinner party supplies and Toadette's stuffed animals went back to their lifeless form. Miss T.'s limousine turned back into a pumpkin. The fence returned to its normal size and stationary position. The Pile Driver Micro-Goombas returned back to being non-anthropomorphic blocks, although they still suffocated the Nipper Plant underneath. The retreating Shadow Master was deroboticized, and Dr. Donez, Bill, and Fred were changed back from sports trophies. Bowser's Clown Car lost its steel covering. The Giant Anthropomorphic Pipe Monsters became inactive.
"Oh crap!" said Bowser Jr., him and his siblings shaking. "Hey papa, I think now would be a good time to prove the old saying, 'He who koops and runs away lives to koop another day!'"
"Abso-stinkin'-lutely." Bowser shook inside the Clown Car.
"Great! I'm sure da pipe creatures will be glad to lend ya a hand!" Toad zapped the Pipe Monsters one more time, changing them into a giant hand. The hand flew over to the Koopalings (and the Boomerang Bros.) and flicked them with its index finger. The Koopalings collided with their dad's vessel, sending him flying upward as well.
"LOOKS LIKE THE KOOPA FAMILY IS BLASTING OFF AGAIN!" all the Koopas screamed at once as they flew towards Darkland, disappearing in the sky with a "ding".
Dr. Donez rubbed his head with his wing. "So much for my world domination. We might as well go home."
"Yeah," said Bill, following his good-evil companion. "Let's get out of here before Mario takes all the credit for what just happened."
"Righto!" Fred threw his utility rope into the air and followed his companions.
Mario, Luigi, and Toad jumped down from the roof. "Good job, Toadie!" Mario congratulated. "You took care of your problem really well. I'm glad you're my sidekick!"
"Now wait a minute!" Luigi interrupted. "I'm your sidekick!"
Mario stuffed a lupine in Luigi's mouth and then made a rather angry look at Peach. "But as for you, Princess, I can't believe how useless you and Toadette were back there! You two just stood there even after the fence came alive. You could've attacked the Koopas right there, or at least called for help! I'm almost ashamed to have you for a love interest."
Peach finally stopped standing in that one pose. "Is it that big a deal, Mario? You know how weak the writers think I am! Besides, I was just letting Toad save the day. His name's in this episode's title."
"Dat's right!" said Toad. "And I'm really sorry I caused all of dese events. From now on, I’m leaving magic to the real experts!"
"OK, Toadie," said Mario, "we all forgive you. And I forgive you for not doing anything, Peach, since you kiss me every time I save you. Er, pay me."
Luigi spat out the lupine. "Hey guys! The Wizard King's here!"
Just as Luigi said, the Wizard King of the West showed up, riding on his giant pet snail, Lightning. "Here I am! I hope I made it in time!" he said.
"Actually, you're a bit on the late side, Mr. Wizard King," said Mario as Al the messenger came out from behind the house. "We kinda had a little misadventure with the Koopas and a bunch of other menaces."
"What!" The Wizard King got off his snail and glared at Al. "Al, you nincompoop! This is all your fault! You're the worst messenger I've got. I should've gone after the wand myself. You're fired!"
"But sir, you don't have any other messengers," reasoned Al. "Besides, the owner of this house has the wand right there."
"He does? Well then, you're rehired, Al! But all I really care about is getting my Plotdevice Wand!" The Wizard King took the wand, stuck it by its handle in the ground, and placed a hotdog over it. "It's just what I need to roast weenies! Yumbolicious!"
"Dat's it? You waited fifty years for dat wand to do dat?" Toad was flabbergasted. "Maybe I'm not da only one here who doesn't know what he's doin'! Say, what's wit' you, Mario?"
Mario looked a bit troubled. "I have this strange feeling there's something here we forgot to resolve. Oh well, it must not have been important."
Nearby, Wario and Waluigi still struggled in the birdcage. "Isn't anybody gonna let us out?" Wario griped.

[Crude humor won't get you far.]

7

Fan Creations / Re: King Koopa Katastrophe Spoof 2

« on: November 21, 2005, 04:15:41 PM »

Meanwhile, Bowser and his eight Koopalings were coming upon Toad's House, accompanied by his favorite Boomerang Bros. "Heh heh heh," Bowser chortled, "You see what a wee bit of ingenuity will do, lads? I'd like to see Mario scare us off while we've got these reinforcements!"
"Why would you call these reinforcements, papa?" Bowser Jr. nitpicked. "All you've picked out to help us are two Boomerang Bros. Besides, if Mario turns into Fiery Mario again, won't he be likely to fry the boomerangs? You should've brought some Chomp Bros."
"Why do you always nitpick me, Princie? Now shut up while I try to obtain our wand!" Bowser walked up to the front door and pounded on it repeatedly. "Open up and hand over the Plotdevice Wand, Princess! Or I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow the house in!" But he got no response, because inside, Peach and Toadette were still sound asleep, and Al was still gardening in the backyard. Bowser walked back to his minions, scratching his head. "I don't understand it! Why ain't they comin' out? I'm being demanding enough!"
"Maybe there's nobody home, Daddy Koopa," said Lemmy stupidly.
"For once, Hip may have a valid reason, King Dad," said Ludwig, getting Lemmy's name wrong.
Larry made a strange noise that translated as a floppy disk next to an unwrapped candy bar.
"Larry thinks maybe we should go in anyway," Lemmy interpreted, not messing up his brother's name. "There's a chance it isn't locked."
"Actually, I was saying I wanted some Mega M&Ms," Larry spoke in normal English again.
"You want some Mega M&Ms!" Bowser looked exasperated. "You should've told me that back at the rest stop, Cheatsy!"
"I would've," replied Larry, "but I wasn't hungry for them then!"
"Well, it's no matter now!" said Bowser. "Once I have the Plotdevice Wand and we're on our way back home, I'll get you a whole tree of Mega M&Ms."
"Gee, thanks, King Dad," said Larry, "but about two bags will do."
"Wait a minute! Why are you letting Cheatsy have his way?" whined Wendy. "It's 'cause he's the youngest of us, isn't it?"
"No, Kootie Pie!" Bowser snorted. "It's 'cause he didn't lose his birthday gift to some figments of his imagination! And technically, Princie's the youngest one here."
"But I tell you, those Teamo Supremo brats really did impeach me!" yelled Wendy, stomping her feet. "And don't call me 'Kootie Pie'!"
"Look, I don't care about this Charlio Browneo you keep mentioning," said Bowser. "The fact rests that you're not getting any candy till after this network finishes its broadcasts of the Thanksgiving parades!"
"Pardon me for breaking my character, King Dad," pipped Roy, "but the way you're being unfair to Kootie Pie kind of sounds like sex discrimination."
"Don't call me 'Kootie Pie'!" Wendy objected to Roy.
"Well, what's it to you, Bully?" blabbered Morton. "This show makes weaklings and negative influences out of women on a regular basis! King Dad getting treats for Cheatsy and none for Kootie Pie is just the kind of thing I'd expect from a kid-raising antagonist on a poorly-written Saturday morning cartoon such as this!"
"So long as ve're discussing discrimination," added Ludwig, "is there a reason you always ditch us in favor of several clones of BJ every time there's a new Mario Party game, King Dad?"
"Oh, how the hell should I know that?" Bowser yelled back. "Maybe it's 'cause you kids are more likely to lose in them!"
"I still want my Mega M&Ms!" pouted Larry.
They might have gone on like this all day, but while his siblings were arguing with their father, Iggy happened to notice the Giant Anthropomorphic Pipe Monsters coming back. "King Dad! Look!" he yelled out, interrupting the argument. "I see the wand!"
"You do? Lemmie see." Bowser took Iggy's glasses and looked through them like binoculars. He could see Wario and Waluigi sitting on top of the Pipe Monsters' heads, eating pizza and ice cream. He could also see the Plotdevice Wand in Wario's hand. "Aha! So those pesky plumbers' evil twins have gotten the wand. I'll fix them!" Giving his son's glasses back, Bowser took out his loudspeaker from the first episode of the first spoof and called out to the Warios. "Attention Mario wannabes! I've come for the Plotdevice Wand, so hand it over!"
"The Plotdevice Wand?" Wario looked at the wand in his hand. "Does he mean this?"
"Hmph! Now it sounds like a corny plot device if you ask me," said Waluigi.
"Forget it, Bowser!" Wario yelled at the Koopa King. "With this thing, I can bend anybody to my will, just like I did with these Pipe Monsters! I can even take over as this franchise's main villain! Whaddaya say to that?"
Bowser sighed. "OK, fine, you wanna play hardball? I got yer hardball right here! Boomerang Bros., get me that wand!"
The Boomerang Bros. had been playing Go Fish over the course of the Koopa family's argument, but when they heard Bowser shouting to them, they snapped to attention and threw their weapons. Upon seeing the boomerangs coming their way, Wario and Waluigi made their transportation duck under them. "Ha ha ha ha!" Wario laughed. "Your boys sure got some lousy aim, Bowser! Who taught 'em to shoot, Skeletor?" But then the boomerangs made their returning path and sideswiped Wario and Waluigi. The two weirdoes fell off of the Pipe Monsters, during which Wario lost his grip on the Plotdevice Wand. As the Warios landed in the dirt below, the wand landed at the feet of the Koopa King.
Bowser picked up the wand. "Oh-ho, at last I've won! The Mushroom Kingdom shall finally bend to my will when I finally prove the existence of..." Again he jumped into spasms. "...FAIRY GODPARENTS!"
Waluigi picked his head out of the dirt. "You okay, bro?"
"Yeah," Wario rubbed his posterior. "I landed on my butt!"
"Eh, thanks for taking care of that guy," Blue Pipe Monster said to Bowser.
"I concur," added Purple Pipe Monster. "We were getting tired of his bossing around."
"I didn't do it out of kindness!" Bowser zapped the Pipe Monsters with the wand. "You pipe snakes are under my control now!"
Black Dreamcast symbols appeared in the Pipe Monsters' eyes. "We are under your control now," they repeated.
"Heh heh heh heh," Bowser clucked, producing a giant bird cage, "this wand really works! Now I know I'll be victorious this time! All right, you pipe-men, lock up these two interlopers!"
Doing as Bowser ordered, the Pipe Monsters threw Wario and Waluigi into the cage and locked them in. "You can't do this to us!" rattled Waluigi.
"Dat's right!" yelled Wario. "I got a game factory to manage!"
"That's wonderful, Daddykins!" Wendy suddenly grabbed the wand from her dad. "But it's my turn now!"
"Hey, give that back, Kootie Pie!" Bowser shouted. "I don't want you kids messing my victory up, and besides, you're still grounded!"
"Don't call me 'Kootie Pie'!" Wendy yelled back.
"No no, papa's right, Wendy," said Bowser Jr., getting her name right. "You shouldn't be using the wand; I should! I'm his favorite, after all."
"Vhaddaya mean you're King Dad's favorite?" Ludwig got angry-mad. "I'm the vun who invents stuff for him; I should be the vun to control the vand!"
"Well, I got more horsepower!" Roy barged in. "I'll use dat wand or I'll be fittin' youse wit' cement kilts!"
"Au contraire, Bully!" Morton blabbered again. "I'd do the best spells! I should use it!"
"I don't care if you can speak Spanish, Bigmouth," said Lemmy stupidly, "I'm still gonna use the wand."
"What, to turn everything into ice?" interrupted Iggy. "My plan has more personality!"
"I still want my Mega M&Ms!" Larry said again.
The Koopalings were arguing so much that by now Peach and Toadette finally woke up and walked over to the front door. "Mario? Luigi? What's going on out here?" asked Peach, rather ignorant of the fact that her constant kidnappers were standing right outside. She also didn't notice that when she said that, Toadette had mistakenly been drawn as her brother.
"Oh hi, Princess! I'm really, really sorry, but we're placing you under house arrest! Ha ha ha ha!" Wendy got out of the argument with her brothers long enough to zap the fence around Toad's House. The fence proceeded to enlarge itself in size, surrounding the entire house.
"Hmph," said Bowser Jr. disgustedly. "I would've done better than that, Kootie Pie."
"Stop squawking, you twit!" screamed Wendy. "And don't call me 'Kootie Pie'!"
By this time, the Mario Bros. and Toad finally returned to witness the events unfolding. Boy, they sure took their sweet time. Just how long did it take to get from the video store to Toad's House? "Oh no, we're too late! Da Koopas have already gotten deir dirty claws on da Plotdevice Wand!" Toad shouted out, forgetting to pay any attention to the caged Wario and Waluigi, despite the fact that they were standing right next to them.
"Never mind that, Toadie!" said Mario, also ignorant of his evil-twin's predicament. "We gotta save the Princess!"
Wario and Waluigi watched as their Dr. Jeckyl counterparts ran up to the Koopas. "Hey, what about us?" Wario cried.
"Oh, look, here come the Mario Bros. and their little sidekick-thingy to save the day," said Wendy sarcastically. "Watch me knock them into next Tuesday!"
"You've had your turn, Kootie Pie! And I say it's time for a game of catch!" Roy grabbed the wand from his bratty sister and then zapped the Pipe Monsters again. The Pipe Monsters then grabbed the Mario Bros. and Toad and juggled them like bowling pins.
"Bully, you thief!" Wendy got on the ground and pounded her fists again. "I wanted to do that! I wanted to, I wanted to, I WANTED TO!"
"Luigi, why does Kootie Pie act dat way?" Toad asked between tosses.
"Because, Toadie," Luigi answered, "she's a nitwit."
"Nitwit or not, we gotta get out of this mess. And I think I know how. Prime rib!" The instant Mario finished saying that, a banana cream pie flew up and hit him in the face, knocking him out of the Pipe Monsters' tossing loops. "C'mon guys," he called up, "mention a kind of meat!"
Doing as they were told, Luigi said "Filet mignon," and Toad said "Pot roast." Just as they said those, banana cream pies flew in to knock them to the safe ground. "How did you know that would happen, Mario?" Luigi asked when he was on solid ground.
"I figured a running gag like National Don't-Mention-Meat-Or-Someone-Will-Hit-You-With-A-Banana-Cream-Pie Day was good enough to hold over," Mario smiled.
"Well, it's a good thing it did. It saved our bacon this ti--" Luigi's sentence was cut short by another banana cream pie hitting his face. "Remind me to sack whoever's doing that when this is over," he muttered.
"Oh, duck pajamas!" carped Roy. "Dey've escaped!"
"Bully for you, Bully! I'll fix them!" Larry took the Plotdevice Wand from his big pink-shelled brother and used it himself on a nearby Nipper Plant, growing it to about twice Petey Piranha's size. "Yo, Nipper Plant! Go munch on those Marios and that mushroom!"
The Nipper Plant ran after the Mario Bros. and Toad as those weird unidentifiable voices came in to sing about hurricanes, or something like that. They hadn't gotten very far when they got to the place where the Pile Drivers had been resting in a rather neat pile. Somehow, the Pile Drivers hadn't actually died from the fall they had taken earlier. Toad spited them by sticking his tongue out. The Pile Driver jumped at them, but the goodies were quick enough to duck, and the Pile Drivers squished the giant Nipper Plant into a paper flat Nipper Plant. But meanwhile, Ludwig took the wand and used it to bring the fence around Toad's House to life and had it chase Toad, who jumped onto some nearby platforms. Then he zapped the Pipe Monsters again and made them go after the Mario Bros. Blue Pipe Monster managed to catch the both of them, much to the envy of his purple companion, so he grabbed Toad instead, seeing how the fence was doing much good. And in all this, Peach and Toadette, despite no longer being constricted to Toad's House, made no effort to stop the Koopalings.

8

Fan Creations / Re: King Koopa Katastrophe Spoof 2

« on: November 21, 2005, 04:15:05 PM »

Shortly afterward, the group, including Al the messenger, was back at Toad's House, having just eaten lunch. "Y'know, you oughta thank me, gang," said Toad.
"I beg your pardon?" Mario was by now back in his normal clothes.
"If I didn't bring youse to da ambush site," Toad pointed out, "we wouldn't have been able to save da Plotdevice Wand before King Koopa could use it to grow bigger, or live forever, or whatever it is dis t'ing actually does."
"He's right!" said Luigi. "He doesn't even have a game with his name in the title, and it's thanks to him that we just saved the Plotdevice Wand!"
"Uh, right." Toad then prepared to open up the case housing the Plotdevice Wand. "And therefore, do you think I could..." But then Peach suddenly snapped the case shut on his fingers. "...YEOW!"
"NO!" Peach, Mario, Luigi, and Al shouted in unison as Toad hopped about, clutching his fingers in pain.
"The King told me that the Plotdevice Wand is the most powerful of all the wands in the Mushroom World. It can grant whatever the bearer wants it to do, kinda like a magic muffin. But only a trained magician can touch it without danger," said Al. "A-a-and you don't qualify!"
"Why can't I?" Toad complained. "I'm able to make colored monsters disappear by placin' 'em next to bombs of da same color! Why shouldn't I be allowed to make use of dat wand? I say dis is just more anti-midget crap!"
"I don't know," Mario said, and then suddenly, green slime dumped right on him. "Dang it! I thought that running gag was done with in the last episode! Anyway, I'm not sure why we don't want you using it. It's probably some plot element. Well, Luigi and I are gonna go rent a movie. We'll be back in about half an hour."
"Yeah, and I'm gonna take a nap," said Peach, heading for the bedroom.
"And I'm going outside," said Al. "I happen to enjoy gardening!"
Once everyone else had left the room, Toad looked around, then at the case that housed the Plotdevice Wand. "Only a trained magician can touch that wand," he mocked the messenger. "Puh! But what if da Koopas find my house and attack? I couldn't let da princess be catched, could I?"
"Don't you mean 'caught'?" Toadette piped from behind him.
Toad turned his back toward the wand's case. "What are you doin' here, sis?"
"Well, I was watching you try to use that Plotdevice Wand you and the others were just discussing," she said, "not to mention pointing out the grammatical typos in this script!"
There was a pause. An evil pause. A pause so evil, it was diabolically evil!
Toad finally broke the immoral pause by asking, "Well, what's it to you, sis?"
"Nothing, really," Toadette answered. "But since I've caught you in the act of disobeying the Princess' commands, I'm telling on you!"
"Oh no, ya don't!" Toad pulled out a beaker of knockout gas and sprayed it in Toadette's face. "Da power of Miyamoto compels you! Da power of Miyamoto compels you!" And with that, Toadette dropped off to sleep.
After dropping Toadette off in the bed where Peach was resting, Toad walked back to the Plotdevice Wand's case and opened it up. "No one's gonna stop me from takin' a swing wit' da Plotdevice Wand; not Koopas, not aliens, not moneymakers, not even annoying little sisters! Nothin' will stop me from takin' over da world!" He roared with Dr. Evil-style laughter as a background of fire appeared behind him. Then he caught himself and said, "Oops. Pardon me; wrong popular cartoon show."
With that, Toad set forth on trying out the Plotdevice Wand. First, he gave two buckets and a pair of arms to a broom, which he commanded to go fetch water from the Mushroom Sea to fill up his swimming pool/hot tub. While the broom was at work carrying buckets of water, Toad went into his kitchen and got out his dinner party supplies, which he then brought to life to perform dinner preparations in a musical fashion. Then he brought Toadette's stuffed animals to life and made them gallop around the house until they found the cookie jar. Strangely, the stuffed animals' rampage didn't wake up Peach and Toadette, and Al was too busy shucking corn to pay attention to the broom filling up Toad's pool/tub. While Al wasn't looking, Toad used the wand to turn a pumpkin into a limousine, which he then gave to Miss T. so she could go to Prince Peasley's ball. Finally, he turned Gaz's Geno doll into a real boy (he then went off to battle a whale), and Gaz himself into a prince so he could go romance some princess over in an Arabian-based world that he had to reach via warp pipe.
After doing all this, Toad said to himself, "Why am I wastin' time imitatin' scenes from Disney movies? I should be protectin' my house from dose no-good SOB Koopas! But what could I use to combat dem? My latest item shipment is late dis week!" It was then that he noticed a pile of blue and purple pipes that just happened to be lying on the ground outside of his house. "Dat's it! I need some giant pipe creatures!"
Toad ran outside and aimed the Plotdevice Wand at the pipes. "Pipes, I command ya to come to life and dance!" With that, a shiny light came over the pipes, transforming them into Giant Anthropomorphic Pipe Monsters. When they opened their eyes, they started dancing to the background music.
"Hey! Dat's not bad," said Toad. "I don't see why dey only want trained magicians usin' dis wand. I'm pretty good at it! All right, pipe monsters, I command you to dance faster!"
But the Pipe Monsters stopped dancing. Then the Blue Pipe Monster spoke up. "You're kidding, right?"
"OK, so maybe dat whole dancin' thing's a bit retarded." Toad didn't seem surprised that the Pipe Monsters were speaking to him. "Anyway, I, da great wizard Toad, command youse ta defend dis house from da evil Koopas!"
"Oh no you don't!" yelled the Purple Pipe Monster. "If you wanna defend your household from a bunch of taxmen, do it yourself!"
"Here, I'll take that." Blue Pipe Monster grabbed the Plotdevice Wand from Toad's hand.
"And you can take this!" Purple Pipe Monster clouted Toad in the face.
After shaking away the tiny Sidesteppers that were running in circles around his head, Toad shouted at the Pipe Monsters. "Wait a minute! Why are you rebellin' against me when da other things I brought to life didn't?"
"They were probably all smaller than you," Purple Pipe Monster explained.
"Anyway, why don't you put this in your scrapbook?" Blue Pipe Monster zapped some nearby brick Blocks, changing them into abnormally large Pile Driver Micro-Goombas.
Toad watched the transformation in awe. "So dat's how Bowser makes dose things! Oh, wait a second." Then he proceeded to run all over the place, screaming in terror. "Yiiiiie! Help! Pile Driver Micro-Goomba alert! Unfortunate plot twist! Oh, terror! Oh, danger! Oh, horror! Oh, terror and danger and horror! Helllp! Servant in need of help! Major assistance required! Oh, panic! Oh, jeopardy! Oh, double jeopardy! Oh, final jeopardy! Help to da fifth power! Why are you just sitting dere watching TV? Pile Driver Micro-Goombas are on da looooooose!"
The Giant Anthropomorphic Pipe Monsters laughed like maniacs as Toad ran like nuts from their Pile Drivers. Unbeknownst to them, they were being watched by two certain villainous someones.
"Get a load of dose things, Waluigi!" Wario said, looking through his binoculars. "That's something ya don't see everyday."
"You sure 'bout that, bro?" said Waluigi. "I mean, this world constantly puts up with attacks by anthropomorphic turtles and crocodiles and other weird villains like those."
"Yeah, but how often do you see anthropomorphic pipes?" Wario handed the binoculars to his companion.
"Great Scott!" Waluigi's eyes almost popped through the binoculars. "How is this possible?"
Wario took the binoculars back and set his eyes on the rod in Blue Pipe Monster's hand. "Hmmmm... take a look at this, Waluigi."
Waluigi looked through the binoculars again. "Aha... that must be one powerful stick. It's got a crystal on it instead of the usual orb."
"With that kinda baton, I could own all the riches in the Mushroom World!" Wario rubbed his hands with glee.
"Yeah!" said Waluigi. "Not to mention make servants out of Luigi and Mario!"
"Wonderful! Let's go steal it." With his sidekick behind him, Wario ran up to the Pipe Monsters and yelled out, "Hey you!"
"Eh?" Blue Pipe Monster looked down at Wario. "Are you those taxmen that shrimpy little guy from earlier was afraid of?"
"We don't know 'bout no taxmen!" shouted Waluigi. "We just want your wand! So hand it over!"
"Nothin' doin', ugly boys!" said Purple Pipe Monster. "Show 'em whatcha got, Bluey!"
Blue Pipe Monster pounded his fist into the ground, attempting to squash the intruders. But Wario, despite his girth, was quick on his feet, and he managed to jump away from the impact. Then he jumped into Blue Pipe Monster's fist and tugged out the Plotdevice Wand. "Ha-haa!" he cackled, climbing on top of Blue Pipe Monster's head. "Behold, Mr. Smartypants! I'm your master now! I hold your stupid wand!"
"That's right!" Waluigi had climbed up Purple Pipe Monster's back and was now perched on his head. "Either you do as we say, or we'll zap ya down to nothin'!"
"Well, when you put it that way... what are your orders, sirs?" Blue Pipe Monster asked obediently.
"Excellent!" said Wario. "I order youse to bring us to the pizza place!"
"Yeah!" agreed Waluigi. "Then bring us to the ice cream parlor!"
"As you wish, masters," said Purple Pipe Monster as he and his cerulean partner started lumbering off in the direction of Darkland.
Not far away, three beings whom no one in the Mushroom Kingdom really noticed much were watching the Wario Bros. take control of the Pipe Monsters. A Tweeter, a Pidgit, and a human-sized bug.
"Gosh, Bill," said the bug to the Pidgit, "those two ugly guys have taken control of those behemoths."
"No duh, Fred," Bill the Extra Guy replied. "They must have gotten their hands on some sort of powerful thing that can turn piles of pipes into monstrosities like these!"
"Interesting," said the Tweeter. "A device such as that should be in the hands of someone with far greater intentions for it... namely me... DR. DONEZ!" Upon uttering his name, Dr. Donez had a close-up on himself. "I want you two to get me that device."
"Oh, goodie!" Fred the Spanyard clapped his hands. "This sounds like a job for..."
"Wait a second, Fred!" Bill yelled, interrupting Fred's pose. "Let me do the 'da-da-da-da-da-da-da-daa!'"
"Bill, this is no time for..."
"Oh, please let me do the 'da-da-da-da-da-da-da-daa!'"
"Oh, fine." Fred crossed his arms. "This sounds like a job for..."
"Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-daa!" Bill sang.
"Not bad. ...SPANYARD-MAN!" Fred dashed into a nearby telephone booth. When he came out, he was wearing his Spanyard-Man costume. He flung his utility rope into the sky and jumped away, yelling "High Ho Rope Away!"
"Wait for me, you idiots!" Dr. Donez yelled as he and Bill tried to follow Fred.

While that was going on, Mario and Luigi were still in the local video store, browsing through the comedy section. Mario looked quite ****ed. "I don't believe it! 1600 titles in this store, and they don't have 'Abbott & Costello Meet the Peanuts Gang'!"
"Mario, there was no 'Abbott & Costello Meet the Peanuts Gang'," Luigi tried to tell him. "You just dreamed that after eating too many of those Bunny-Ear Carrots!"
"But I remember it so vivid--"
"IT WAS A DREAM!" Luigi yelled, practically attracting the attention of everyone else in the store.
Just then, Toad ran in through the store's entrance and up to the Mario Bros., panting rapidly. His Wade Duck impression had worn him out.
"Hey Toadie, what are you doing here?" Luigi asked.
"Yeah," added Mario, "shouldn't you be guarding this episode's plot devi-- I mean, the Plotdevice Wand?"
"I was, till dey showed up!" Toad led the Marios outside and pointed at the oncoming Pile Drivers.
"A measly bunch of Pile Drivers? That's what got you so worried, Toadie? Maybe you should see a p-sychiatrist," Mario said, pronouncing the last word with a loud "p". "We encounter these things every time we go to Desert Land!"
"Desert Hill!" corrected Luigi.
"Whatever," said Mario. "We can just jump on them, like we would with regular Goombas."
"Well, dese ain't your normal Pile Drivers!" said Toad. "Dey're abnormally large ones! Dey ain't so easy t'bring down!"
"Large Pile Driver Micro-Goombas?" Mario didn't notice the oxymoron within his sentence. "Where the hell did they come from?"
"Honest, guys! I didn't do anything!" Toad lied. "The wand jumped right out of the case!"
"The wand somehow grew legs and jumped out of its case?" Mario was not convinced. "Look, Toadie, I know this show is produced by DiC Entertainment, but even that's too ridiculous to believe!"
Just then, the Buddy Bears came from out of nowhere, dancing and singing their theme song.

"Oh, we are the Buddy Bears, we always get along,
Each day we do a little dance and sing a little song,
If you ever disagree, it means that you are wrong,
Oh, we are the Buddy Bears, we always get along!"

The moment the Buddy Bears made their exit, Mario picked up Toad and said, "Well, whatever's the cause of those blocks' rampage, we'd better find a way to get rid of them! Run for it!"
The three of them dashed as far away from the video store as they could. In the overhead shot that followed, Toad somehow vanished from Mario's arm, but in the very next shot, he was back there like he never disappeared. At that point, the trio came to a cliff.
"'Run for it,' ya said," Toad mocked. "Well, how can we run now? Dere's nothin' here but a cliff!"
"Don't give up the ship, Toadie! In video games, you never die from great falls!" reminded Mario. "So... down we go!" And with that, he jumped down the cliff, Toad in tow.
"Pistachiooooo!" Luigi blatantly ripped off a certain chipmunk's catchphrase as he jumped downward too.
The Pile Drivers, attempting to chase down their prey, stupidly jumped off the cliff too. But they had not figured on the Marios' ingenuity, for as they went downward, they passed a ledge. Mario, Luigi, and Toad, standing on that ledge, waved their hands as the Pile Drivers realized there was no ground under them and fell to their grisly deaths on the ground below, but not before they let out a comedic yell.
"How did you know dere was a ledge down here?" Toad asked Mario.
"Haven't you ever read the big fat list of animation clichés, Toadie?" said Mario. "Whenever good guys seem to jump off a cliff, there's always a ledge for them to hang on to! Now is there anything else you wanna tell us?"
"Yeah. About da Plotdevice Wand..." Toad began his confession.
"Forget it," Luigi interrupted. "Unless Toadette or Yoshi did it, we can already guess from your earlier 'story' that you used the Plotdevice Wand yourself."
"Right!" said Mario. "We'd better get back to your house and keep it safe till the Wizard King arrives!"
"How d'ya know he's comin'?" asked Toad.
"I looked up an earlier scene in the script. Now let's go already!"

9

Fan Creations / Re: King Koopa Katastrophe Spoof 2

« on: November 21, 2005, 04:14:37 PM »

Sorry it's been so long. Here is the third chapter, based off of "A Toadally Magical Adventure". I actually wrote this, like, two months ago!

---------------------------------------------

Sky Land was what they called the kingdom in the sky that stretched above the Mushroom World. At least it was one of the kingdoms in the Mushroom World's sky. It wasn't the same kingdom as Nimbus Land, let me tell you that. But anyway, on this particular day, a certain messenger was standing in front of an office building that looked more like a castle. This messenger fellow was obviously somebody whom nobody really paid any attention to. But surprisingly, he was going to play a medium-sized part of the events that followed, so we'll call him Al.
As the episode opened, Al read the marquee above the entrance. "'Ace Magic Wand Factory - A New Wand Made Every Century'. This must be the place! But why would they give a name like 'Ace' to such a slow service? It's just not right!"
As Al walked into the place, he was greeted by the company's president, vice president, chairman, CEO, and only employee, the Wand Maker. He did not have a big role here, so I will not be giving him a better name. "Here it is, young fellow!" he said, speaking his only line. "The magic wand your boss ordered! The Plotdevice Wand, personally handcrafted by the best little ol' wand maker in the world, which is me!"
"Well, let's see it!" Al ordered.
The Wand Maker handed Al the case wherein was the item he had been sent to pick up - the Plotdevice Wand. It was a glowing wand, obviously a magic one. All wands in the Nintendo Universe were magical. But the Plotdevice Wand was extra special, because instead of having an orb like the wands that the Koopalings stole in Super Mario Bros. 3, it had a crystal. With this special wand in its case, Al took it and exited the building by way of trap door platform.
Elsewhere in Sky Land, in his castle, Al's boss, the Wizard King of the West watched these events on his big-screen crystal ball. "Finally! I thought that slowpoke would never finish that wand! What's it been, fifty years? I should've picked some other company to build that wand. Oh well. Now that I know it's finished, I can watch the baseball game."
Suddenly, the crystal ball began to fog up. "Oh, [darn] it!" the Wizard King cursed. "Living up in the Sky causes such problems with my TV reception!" When the picture cleared, it revealed Larry Koopa standing on a cliff in Sky Land's ground region, looking through a telescope. "A Koopa? What's he doing on my crystal ball monitoring screen?"
The crystal ball's picture pulled back to reveal King Bowser Koopa himself and the rest of the Koopalings standing right behind Larry. "Hey, King Dad!" Larry was saying. "That wimp with the wand has just touched down."
"EXCELLENT!" Bowser gloated. "This magic detector may have cost me 43 Koopabits, but it'll be worth it once I, King Koopa, take control of the Plotdevice Wand, and prove once and for all the existence of..." At this point, he suddenly jumped into a brief series of spasms. "...FAIRY GODPARENTS!"
Iggy and Lemmy Koopa stared at their dad. Iggy started a comment. "That was..."
"...really messed up," said Lemmy, finishing it.
"Holy crap! King Koopa and his brat pack are out to Koopacly my Plotdevice Wand!" the Wizard King gasped, using his inhuman deduction powers to put two and two together, but not realizing that he had just used a made-up word in his sentence. "I'd better call for help."

Down in the Mushroom Kingdom, inside Toad's House, Mario and Luigi (they sure spend a lot of time there, don't they?) were watching Cartoon Network with Toad's sister, Toadette. "Hey Luigi," Mario asked, "is Count Spankulot a vampire, or is he just a guy dressed up like one?"
"Come again?" Luigi responded.
"Well, he's got those big fangs," Mario reasoned. "Have they ever shown him doing somebody in and then feeding on them?"
Luigi looked shocked. "You're asking if they've done a 'Codename: Kids Next Door' episode in which Count Spankulot kills somebody and drinks their blood for sustenance?"
"Yeah, that's it."
"No, I'm pretty sure it's never been done," Luigi answered.
Toad suddenly came running, with a bath towel wrapped around his waist. "Hey, guys! My bathtub drain is clogged up!"
"Did you try simply jiggling the switch, big brother?" Toadette asked.
"Yes, sis, and it ain't workin'," Toad replied, disgruntled.
"OK then, let us handle it!" Mario peeled off of the couch, grabbed Luigi, and went into Toad's bathroom. For some reason, Toad's bathtub was perched above its pipes, so Mario was easily able to get under it and fix them with his monkey wrench. "Watch and learn, Toadie! Once I turn this wrench, your bathtub will be draining faster than me when I'm invincible. Well, maybe not faster, but it'll be draining nonetheless."
Just then, the image of the Wizard King appeared on Toad's bathtub water. "Mario! And his green look-alike! I need your help!"
"Hey, Mario, look!" Luigi shouted. "The Wizard King of the West just appeared in the water!"
Upon hearing his brother, Mario jumped up, banging his head on the bottom of the bathtub. Rubbing his head, he looked at the water. "Whoa! Toadie, you never told us your bathtub doubled as a TV screen."
"I'm coming in through a bathtub? Rats!" said the Wizard King. "I was aiming to contact you via television! Anyway, those Koopa *******s are gonna steal my magic wand if you don't stop them!"
"Oh, that's old news, Kingy!" scoffed Mario. "We got your wand back in the game, remember?"
"No no no!" the Wizard King corrected. "This is a very special magic wand I've been waiting half a century for; it's the Plotdevice Wand!"
"The Plotdevice Wand!" said the Mario Bros. in unison.
"Sounds like a corny plot device if you ask me," said Mario.
Toad hopped on Mario's monkey wrench, which was still attached to the pipe. "What's he talkin' about?" he asked, not noticing that he was making the pipe turn and drain the water.
"I've somehow deduced that they plan to ambush my messenger near this waterfall in th--" But before the Wizard King could finish his statement, the water finished draining, taking the message with it.
"Oh, nice goin', Toadie!" Mario scolded. "Thanks to you, the message went down the drain!"
Toad looked angry. "Y'know, dat is so predictable! Everyone always blames da little guy for all da troubles in a cartoon! And for no good reason, I add! Nobody ever blames any of da flaws of da older characters for a show's downfall! No, it's just 'It's all Scrappy's fault' or 'Blame it on Gazoo' or some anti-midget crap like dat! I probably shouldn't even tell you dat I know da location of da waterfall da Wizard King was about to mention."
"You know the location of the waterfall that the Wizard King was about to mention?" Luigi repeated Toad's statement without a Brooklyn accent.
"Of course!" Toad immediately dropped his angry speech from his previous line. "It's not far from World 5-2."
"I don't remember a waterfall on the ground portion of Sky Land in Super Mario Bros. 3," said Mario.
"Dat's 'cause you most likely didn't go near it!" said Toad. "Now let's go save dat wand!"
"An adventure? That's terrific!" declared Toadette. "Can I go along?"
"No, Toadette; I already told you, you're only fit for a sports game!" Toad dashed out with the Mario Bros., leaving Toadette in the bathroom.

One scene-switch later, Toad, the Mario Bros., and Princess Peach Toadstool were "now entering Sky Land", according to the sign nearby. "Thanks for agreeing to come along, Princess," said Mario, "even though you're probably not going to be of any actual help."
"Well, I'm willing to get out of the castle today," Princess Peach replied. "Daddy's been disinfecting it for Poison Mushrooms, and he doesn't know how to put the cap back on the can."
"Look! Dere's da waterfall!" Toad pointed to the badly-drawn waterfall in the background. "I toldja I'd get us to it!"
"And that must be the Wizard King's messenger!" Luigi pointed downward. "Looks like he's still got the wand."
"Well, I, for one, am glad the Koopas haven't yet ambushed him." Mario rubbed his hands with glee. "I've got a little surprise for them."
Down below, Al the messenger was walking around cautiously. "Geez," he said to himself, "why'd I decide to take the ground route back to the castle? Considering it's also up in the Sky, I could've just walked back up there!"
Suddenly, Bowser and his eight kids leapt out from behind the cliff they had been standing on (it wasn't very high up). "Stand and deliver!" Bowser commanded. "Surrender your magical device to me, Turner, and I might spare your life once the world is mine!"
"Magical device? You mean the Plotdevice Wand?" Al tried unsuccessfully to look defiant. "Sorry, bud, if you want it, go get one of your own."
"I don't have time for games!" yelled Bowser. "Give me the Plotdevice Wand, now!"
"Hey papa," Bowser Koopa Jr. tugged on his dad's tail, interrupting the big guy's demands. "I have this strange feeling that we're being watched."
"Vell, ov course ve're being vatched, BJ!" Ludwig Von Koopa spoke up. "This is a Saturday morning cartoon ve are on!"
"No, not that way!" said Bowser Jr. "I mean, there's somebody hiding somewhere in the scenery, waiting to come out!"
"Y'know, I t'ink maybe Princie's right!" said Roy Koopa. "I feel like something's about to swoop outta da shadows too!"
"I'll bet it's that wretched Teamo Supremo coming back to humiliate me again!" Wendy O. Koopa's eyes shifted about.
"Still blaming them for your loss at taking over America, Koo--er, Wendy?" Larry tried to avoid getting her name wrong.
"Bah! Rubbish!" scoffed Morton Koopa Jr. "This talk of shadows and stalkers is distracting us from stealing that wand!"
"Are we going to get a..." started Lemmy.
"...line in this conversation?" finished Iggy.
Just then, the Koopas heard a familiar voice coming from a cloud of smoke that had appeared on one of the blocks overhead. "I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the airborne scourge that stomps on your minions!" The smoke parted to reveal Mario, not dressed the way he usually was. His whole outfit was now black and dark grey in all areas, right down to the bat-like cape he had put on. Pointed triangles stuck out from his now-black hat, and a black headband went around his eyes, which now bore no pupils. In short, he now had the look of a dark crimefighter, but it didn't quite help that he was wearing it in the daytime. "I... am Super Mario! All right, Koopas, surrender peacefully, or I shall have to get nasty," he demanded, his grey-clad arms crossed.
Bowser cringed at his nemesis' new look. "Why are you wearing that ridiculous outfit?"
"Ridiculous? This is a dark superhero costume!" Mario held out his dark cape. "Can you believe that a lot of game players out there think that Nintendo is for kiddies? As if! Our console's the only one that has Resident Evil 4, for crying out loud!"
"I thought that game vuz ported to ze PlayStation 2," Ludwig pointed out.
"It was? [darn]!" Mario swore. "Remind me to sue. Anyway, if those zealots want dark, I'll give 'em dark! Uh, how's about we come back here 10 to 12 hours from now and pick up from here?"
"Forget it, Mario; your new costume isn't intimidating me any! And because of your interference, my prize is running off!" Bowser indicated Al running off in the opposite direction. "I'll take care of you later! C'mon, kids, the Plotdevice Wand is ours!"
"Oh no it's not!" Spreading his cape, Mario leaped after the Koopas.
As the Koopas gained on him, Al ran right into the rest of Mario's group, whom he had left standing close by the waterfall for no reason. "Are you and that Batman wannabe here to save me?" asked Al.
"If by 'dat Batman wannabe' you're referring to Mario, den yes, we're here to save ya!" Toad picked up Al and the Plotdevice Wand's case with his bare hands. "Good t'ing I somehow run faster when I'm carryin' something!"
"No one's going anywhere!" Bowser had by now managed to catch up with Al and made a defiant pose, his kids standing right behind him. "Once again, I demand that you surrender your magic-based artifact, Turner, so that I may prove the existence of..." He jumped into brief spasms again. "...FAIRY GODPARENTS!"
"What was up with that?" Luigi asked.
"I t'ink maybe dat huge collection of wands he's got back home has given him some sort of magic obsession," theorized Toad.
"Probably," said Peach, "but I don't see how that relates to his spasms."
Mario had by now caught up to the Koopas and was trying to keep his balance on some Note Blocks above. "Koopas! I demand you give up trying to steal that wand! I have Plumberangs in this invisible utility belt of mine, and I'm not afraid to use 'em!"
"How many times do I have to tell you, plumber-man?" Bowser was unconvinced. "You're not scaring me!"
"Yeah!" added Wendy. "Can it, you nit!"
"Mario, brace yourself!" Luigi leaped over the Koopas and hit the block that his brother was standing on. As Mario went an inch upward with a dazed expression and tiny stars running in circles around his head, a Fire Flower sprouted up from the block that Luigi had hit.
By the time Mario finished collecting himself, he had landed on the Fire Flower and gained its power. Instantly, all the gray and black on his costume changed to white (or orange) and orangish-red. "Aw, nuts! This totally ruins my dark look!" he complained. "I knew I should've picked Warner Bros. to produce my animated series!"
"Mario, you nimrod!" Luigi called. "You've become Fiery Mario now! Use that ability!"
"Hey, you're right!" Mario warmed up two fireballs in his hands. "OK, Koopas, you don't wanna surrender? Fine! Burn for it!"
"Holy crap, he's shooting fireballs now! He has become intimidating!" shouted Bowser, recalling his past defeats at the hands of Fiery Mario. "Let's get the hell out of here, kids!"
"Right behind ya, papa!" Bowser Jr. yelled out among his seven siblings.
The Koopalings followed their dad as Mario shot his fireballs at them. Surprisingly, his aim must've been off, because none of the fireballs were actually hitting the bad guys. Bowser then dove into the river protruding from the waterfall, completely ignoring the fact that the water would more than likely give a sore throat to his fire breath. His eight kids followed suit, completely ignoring the fact that Ludwig's fire breath would probably also get a sore throat. Pretty soon, the nine Koopas had gone down the river, not to be seen again for a while.
Mario's companions ran up to him as he touched down. "Que buena, Mario!" Peach congratulated. "You did it!"
Mario looked disappointed. "What do you mean? All my shots missed. I thought only villains had lousy aim when it came to things like fireballs."
"Don't be silly, Mario! The important t'ing is dat da Plotdevice Wand is safe!" Toad proudly held up Al and the case. "Now let's go back to my house for lunch."
"OH BOY!" Mario exclaimed. "I'm so hungry I could eat an Octorok!"

10

Forum Games / Re: Ask a stupid Qusestion get a stupid answer

« on: November 21, 2005, 04:03:56 PM »

Door #2.

Why do people think DiC's cartoons are awesome when they really aren't?

11

Mario Chat / Re: Should there be a new Mario cartoon?

« on: November 21, 2005, 03:59:40 PM »

I'd rather if DiC DID do another Mario cartoon. That won't happen anymore thanks 4KIDS! :rolleyes

No way! DiC's terrible at adaptating licenses! Remember "The Real Ghostbusters"? Nobody looked like the actors who played them! And in the "Heathcliff" cartoon, 'Cliff's human buddy Iggy Nutmeg looked nothing like his comic strip counerpart. And even worse, in the "Battletoads" cartoon pilot that thankfully never became a full series, they claimed the 'Toads' secret identities were a trio of high school students, when in the game's storyline, they used to be game technicians! Plus, DiC never bothers enforcing holiday spirit in their Christmas specials (see "Inspector Gadget Saves Christmas" and "Sonic Christmas Blast" if you don't believe me). Speaking of which, in the "Koopa Klaus" episode, Mario-tachi makes their entrance at the North Pole by burrowing from underground - if you ask me, it's more support for my theory that DiC got Mario mixed up with Bugs Bunny.
Anyway, I much would've preferred Mario's cartoon show to be made by Warner Bros. Besides, it's not like 4Kids is angering anime fans on purpose. (They just don't want kids to do bad things that the Japanese consider okay, like smoking and being homosexual.)

12

Mario Chat / Re: Cartoon Archive Progress

« on: October 05, 2005, 12:54:43 PM »

Just to make a note of it, I have all the SMB cartoon DVDs released so far, so if you'd like some screenshots from the episodes featured on those DVDs, I can send them to you.

13

Mario Chat / Re: MARIO ANIME !?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

« on: July 10, 2005, 10:15:19 PM »

I must say, I definitely would've liked the American cartoons a lot better had they have been animated by these people instead of DiC Entertainment's laziest staff. At least these people get the designs right.
However, the way Mario acts in these OVAs kinda scares me. It's not the gun I'm talking about, although I do think it would've been more in-character had he have been equipped with a Fire Flower; it's the way he beats Bowser in the "Issunboshi" installment that scares me. Poking at the interior of his stomach with a sharp needle? Egad! That's a horrible way to be killed, even for King Koopa! I'm practically glad Bowser spat him out before Mario could do even worse to him. Hopefully, he's not gonna try that again.
Interestingly, it seems that even in Japan, Mario's animated appearances have a knack of featuring stuff he had yet to do in the games. The "Momotaro" one has him travelling with a bunch of characters who would regularly be enemies, like in the Paper Mario games.

Super Mario Bros. are cool like sunglasses!

14

Fan Creations / Re: King Koopa Katastrophe Spoof 2

« on: July 05, 2005, 09:38:46 PM »

Here's the second installment. The featured episode this time is "Misadventures in Babysitting". Enjoy!

---------------------------------------------

This particular turn of events kicked off in a suburban home somewhere in Brooklyn. Some bratty kid who just happened to live there was playing with some rather poorly-designed vases. This kid was never called by his real name, so we'll just refer to him by the name he was called for the episode - Junior. Coincidentally, he happened to have the same hair color as Bowser Jr.
Anyway, his parents were apparently going out tonight, as evidenced by how pretty his mom looked. Well, okay, her zit-encrusted face wasn't exactly Miss America material, but at least she had those naughty bits that Minnie Mouse never could grow! However, their names are also unknown to me, so I'll just call them Mr. and Mrs. Junior. But for short, I'll be calling them Mr. and Mrs. J., not to be confused with those pet names that Rosie the robot maid gave for George and Jane Jetson. Speaking of the Jetsons, where are they now? I don't see them on Cartoon Network anymore, except around Christmastime. Yes, I know, they're on Boomerang now, but I don't have that. Apparently, my cable doesn't seem to provide that station. I wish it did, though. I hear it plays Pac-Man's cartoon. Maybe he's got more interesting animated adventures than Mario does. I doubt it, though. His games didn't have much story like Mario's did. But at least maybe I'll get a sound clip of his theme song and come one step closer to completing my playlist of video game cartoon theme songs. I hope to make a CD out of it. But before I can do that, I'm gonna have to wait till that "Viewitful Joe" anime makes its way here, and that's not gonna happen for...
"BACK OFF, TALK BOY!!" Mrs. Junior yelled at the narrator, zooming her left eye up to the camera.
Right. Sorry.
With that, Mrs. J. put up her mascara and addressed her husband. "Now then, dear, where's that babysitter you called for?"
"A babysitter?" Mr. Junior asked. "We were supposed to hire a babysitter?"
"You didn't hire a babysitter!?" Mrs. J. stomped her feet. "How could you not hire a babysitter?!?"
"Well, I don't think I took to your directions, dear," Mr. J. explained. "Besides, even if I did bother looking for a babysitter, wouldn't Junior's bad reputation have scared them off?"
"Don't be ridiculous; our son is a good boy and you know it." Mrs. J. sighed. "Well, how are we supposed to find a babysitter at this hour?"
Just then, the door flew open, and in stepped a very familiar redhead from another cartoon. "Somebody call for a babysitter? An antagonist, even?" she said. "I'm qualified in both fields."
"Who, I ask, are you?" Mr. J. asked.
"Don't you people watch Nickelodeon? The name's Vicky Hitch****!" As the redhead introduced herself, lightning struck outside (despite the lack of an actual storm) and a family photo nearby fell off of the wall. "Uh, pay no attention to the fact that things die or break whenever my name is mentioned."
"What? 'Vicky'?" Once Mr. J. said that, the light bulb in the nearby lamp burned out.
Vicky practices being an aggressive hunchback."Yeah. You see, I'm related to Lord Voldemort." When Vicky said that name, the aforementioned lamp fell off its stool and broke. "I'm his great-great-great-grandniece."
"Ah! That makes sense. ^_^" smiled Mr. J.
"Yes, I'm glad to get that out of the way. Now if you'll pay me fairly, and by that I mean all the cash you have at this very moment," Vicky explained, "then I'll get your kid to take care of your house, cook, make the beds, wash, mend, and knit, and keep everything neat and clean, and I will allow him to sleep in the warm cinders of the fireplace and call him Cinder-something."
"Okay," said Mr. J, not seeming to have understood what Vicky just said.
"Wait a minute... that sounds a little dangerous." Mrs. J. was a bit more sensible. "We're desperate, but we're not that desperate."
"Hey!" said Mr. J. to Vicky. "You've got the same hair color as our son! LOL!"
While his parents were discussing things with Vicky, Junior attempted to see if he could balance the vases on his head. When he found out he obviously couldn't do it without them falling over and breaking apart, he placed his cat near the remains and bugged out.
Mrs. J. looked at the cat placed near the remains of the vase. "Oh, Kitty, how could you!? That was a rare 1986 vase!" she yelled.
"What! It wasn't me!" The cat stood up on its hind legs. "Your bratty kid placed me here after breakin' it himself! Don't believe me? Well, I've had it!" The cat grabbed a suitcase and put a small business hat over his head. "You guys can get yourselves a new cat, 'cause I quit!!" And with that, he stormed out of the house with his suitcase.
"This is just great," Mrs. J. sighed. "First my husband doesn't bother hiring a babysitter. Then he hires out one I don't trust. Now the cat just quit! How can this enchanted evening get any more stressful?" That's when she suddenly heard the noise of a crash landing coming from the kitchen.7
Inside the kitchen cupboard, the Mario Bros. tumbled out of an abnormally large warp pipe that happened to be situated in there. I wonder why Junior's parents never noticed that thing. Do they even have good plumbing?
"Plumber's Log, number 17-362," Mario narrated, not moving his lips. "We appear to have landed in some blackish-blue backdrop, somewhat like the center of time and space. For some reason, my mouth movements don't seem to match my dialogue."
Luigi spoke up, his mouth movement not in tune with what he was saying. "Well, of course they don't match, Mario. You're narrating!"
Mario switched into speaking mode, also with awkward mouth-flaps. "No, I mean they really aren't matching my mouth movement! Look!"
Luigi made a noise with his tongue, but his mouth didn't open until a second later. "Holy crap, you're right!"
"Anyway, where the devil are we, Luigi?" Mario sat up, knocking his brother down from himself.
"Really, bro, how the hell would I know?" Luigi grunted, his last mouth-flip not making a sound.
"Well, there's only one way to find out." Mario opened the door in front of him and looked around at the kitchen he and his brother were entering.
"Y'know, Mario, I don't think we're in the Mushroom Kingdom anymore," Luigi made the obvious reference.
"Well, DUH, Luigi! Of course we're not in the Mushroom Kingdom! This is Brooklyn! You can clearly tell that because the Brooklyn Bridge is right outside!" he said, pointing out the window.
Luigi looked out the window too. "So we're back home now? Geez, I knew it! Salvador Drainado was lying about that whole 'Last Drainpipe' crap!"
"Please don't curse, Luigi," Mario reprimanded. "I'm sure there's an explanation as to why we're somehow able to have easy access between the Mushroom World and Earth, as well as a reason why we have to make viewers question if we know we don't actually exist by always referring to the latter as the 'Real World'."
Luigi looked weirded out. "What the hell are you talking about?"
Mario's eyes shifted the other way, then back again. "I don't know..." Just then, a load of green slime dropped from out of nowhere and splattered right on Mario.
Mario had just finished getting the green slime off of his face when Mrs. J. suddenly came into the kitchen. "Oh, there you are! Are you here to babysit Junior too?"
"Babysit?" Mario jumped back. "Oh no, you're mistaken, lady. You see, my brother and I just happened to stumble into your kitchen when we were... Hey, what were we doing, Luigi?"
"Uh... I give up, Mario," Luigi fidgeted. "What were we doing?"
"Well, whatever it was, I can't remember it either!" Mario shook his head. "It's like we were just scripted to end up here."
"Did you come in through the back door?" Mrs. J. asked, not paying attention to what the Mario Bros. had just said, nor the fact that Junior was making faces behind her. "Never mind, it's good that's there two of you; Junior can be quite a handful. If you want, you can help yourself to anything in the refrigerator. We just bought some fresh lasagna from Gramps' Market."
"Lasagna? From Gramps' Market? Fresh? Bought?" Mario's mouth was watering.
"But Mario, have you forgotten--?" Luigi's query was cut off by Mario elbowing him in the ribs.
"Shut up, Odie!" said Mario, getting his brother's name wrong. "Everybody knows lasagna is nature's most perfect food!"
Mrs. J. took Mario and Luigi into the living room. Mr. J. was still discussing payment with Vicky when the lady of the house interrupted and said, "I'm sorry, Vicky, but we won't be needing your services."
"WHAT?!" Vicky objected.
"Hey, aren't you that caretaker from that show about the foster home for imaginary friends?" Mario asked.
"These two gentlemen here have volunteered for the job," Mrs. J. fibbed, ignoring Mario, "and they're offering to do it for free."
"Fuh-ree? You just said my two favorite words, dear!" Mr. J. turned to Vicky. "You heard Ms. October, Icky. Out you go!"
"I'll throw myself out, thank you!" Vicky picked herself up by the back of her shirt, dragged herself to the doorway, and threw herself out the door. Then she called back, "I believe I had a hat!" Mr. J. threw his hat to her. "Suckers!" she snickered, taking off with the hat.
Mr. and Mrs. J. walked over to the doorway. "We'll be back at around 10:30."
"10:30? You're gonna be out for a long time!" Mario checked his watch, which read 6:00.
"And please give Junior a bath?" Mrs. J. requested.
"Awww, do we have to?" Luigi whined. "Our games are rated E for Everyone. A bathtub scene might anger parents."
"Have a nice time; I know we will." Mrs. J. followed her husband to their car. Once she got inside, she commanded to Mr. J., in an funnier-sounding Edna Krabapple-esque voice, "Quick, let's get out of here before those Italian stereotypes change their minds!" And with that, they zoomed off to wherever they were going.
Back inside Casa de Junior, Luigi shrugged. "Well brother, it looks like we're babysitters."
"How many times do I have to tell you to stop stating the obvious, Luigi?" Mario asked. "Besides, considering that the Princess got turned into a baby last season, maybe now we'll know the ropes to the job."
"But Mario," said Luigi, "we had plans for tonight, remember?"
"Great Scott, you're right! Excuse me a moment." Mario pulled his cell phone from out of nowhere and called up a good friend of his. "Sorry, Fred. Luigi and I aren't gonna be Bowling for Pasta and Brontosaurus Ribs with you and Barney tonight."
"Aw gee, that's too bad, Mario," said Fred Flintstone on the other line. "We were lookin' forward to joining up with you again."
"Some other time, perhaps. Bye-bye, Fred." Mario hung up the phone and put it away. "Well, Junior, what do you want to do tonight?
"Let's play hide-and-seek!" declared Junior. "And you two boobs are it!"
"Say, that's a good idea!" Luigi smiled.
"Oh no, no hide-and-seek for me. I had a bad experience with that game once," Mario said, starting up a flashback.
**"96... 97..."
As Mario counted with his eyes covered, a dark cloud overshadowed the moon.
"98... 99... 100!" Mario started running around, calling, "OK, Moon, ready or not, here I come!"**
"Instead, we'll just watch one of your favorite movies," Mario decided as his flashback ended. "Where's your video collection?"
"Right there." Junior pointed to the drawers in the furniture piece where the family TV sat.
"Hmmm..." Mario looked through the videos. "'Land Before Time 87.5'; 'Lion King 1 1/3: The Monkey's Tale'; 'GI Joe: The 90-Minute Toy Ad'; 'Star Wars: Attack of the Cheesy Dialogue'; 'Barbie: Defender of Anatomically Incorrect Fashion'; 'The Berenstein Bears and the Trouble with Grammar'; 'Curious George Goes on the Oprah Show'; 'The Burger Battle Book'; 'Ernest Doesn't Go to the Beach'; 'Power Rangers: Please God Make It Stop'... 'Catwoman'? Uh, Junior, don't you have any good movies?"
"They're all at my aunt's house," Junior answered. "Besides, I wanna play hide-and-seek."
"OK, so how's about we tell you a story? In fact, here's one now." Mario adopted a storytelling expression. "Once upon a time there was a big red hooding ride who sat on a muffet and said, 'Oh grandma, what big feet you got.' So he chopped off his head with a giant beanstalk and they lived happily ever after. Come on, you gotta go to bed now."
"No way!" Junior jumped up and down. "I demand we play hide-and-seek!"
"Fine, fine. We'll play hide-and-seek," Mario consented. So he and Luigi covered their eyes and starting counting to a hundred while Junior looked for a good place to hide. He must not have been good at finding good places to hide in the span of one minute and forty seconds, for the Mario Bros. had reached the 90-second count by the time he looked under the sink and noticed the abnormally large pipe that neither he nor his parents had ever noticed before.
"Oh boy! Those two idiots'll never find me here!" Junior climbed into the pipe as his babysitters finished counting and started looking for him.

On the other end of the pipe, Junior emerged somewhere in Grassland. "This place is awesome! And that theme music is rather catchy," he said, addressing the World 1 Map background music.
Close by, a trio of Hammer Bros. peeked from behind the bushes. Wait, three Hammer Bros.? Shouldn't there have been a fourth one? Hammer Bros. always come in pairs, you know. Then, without warning, the Hammer Bros. changed into Boomerang Bros. and one of them threw a Boomerang in Junior's direction. When Junior heard the stick's telltale whistle, he caught attention of it, grabbed it, and threw it back in the direction of the Boomerang Bros., who had by now changed back into Hammer Bros. The boomerang must've been a steel one, because it sliced through a tree and sent it toppling on top of the incredible rank-changing Hammer Bros.
"Woohoo! This place is the shiznat!" Junior waved his arms triumphantly. "I hope those morons never figure out I went though a giant pipe that just happened to be under my kitchen sink."
As Junior was making his victory pose, close by walked Larry, Roy, and Ludwig Von Koopa.
"Who's that funny-looking nutjob?" Larry asked.
"And why's he got da same hair color as BJ?" Roy referred to his dad's little clone.
"I don't know," lisped Ludwig, "but from his appearance, I can tell that he's a Real Worlder!"
"A Real Worlder?" Larry looked distasteful. "You mean 'an Earthling', don't you?"
"Ov course I mean he's an Earthling!" Ludwig was frustrated with that. "I don't know vhat's up vit zis whole 'always refer to Earth as the Real World' shnit. It's like somevun vants us to believe some strange fact like ve're just sprites in a computer game."
"Or characters in an animated cartoon!" added Roy.
"Or drawings in a comic book!" contributed Larry.
"Or an illustration on a lunchbox!" Ludwig licked his lips.
"Or..." Roy's next line was cut off by Junior interrupting them.
"Hey you mondo bizzaro creatures," he said, "who are you? And what kind of place is this?"
"Haven't you ever played Nintendo?" said Larry. "This is the Mushroom Kingdom, and I'm Larry Kinglive Koopa."
"Allow me to introduce myself." Roy bowed. "I'm Roy Orbison Koopa."
"And I'm Ludwig Von Koopa. But for some reason, everyvun calls us Cheatsy, Bully, and Kooky, respectively," Ludwig explained. "I don't see vhy. Personally, I hate my apparent nickname, because it's more like a name intended for a girl. But you get the picture."
"Yeah!" said Larry. "And any enemy of the Mario Bros. is a friend of ours!"
"Even Wario?" Roy asked. "I don't recall Dad getting along well with him..."
"Are you talkin' about those two moo-cows with the moustaches who are babysitting me?" said Junior. "'Cause if you are, well, actually, I'm not really an enemy of them. I'm just harassing them. But just in case they figure out the way I came here, why don't you help me make their lives more of a living hell?"
"Why, soytenly!" said Larry. "I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

A few minutes later, Mario and Luigi came out of the pipe that Junior had entered from. "How are you certain that Junior came through here?" Luigi asked.
"We came through here the other way, didn't we?" Mario reasoned. "If we could use this pipe to somehow end up in his kitchen, he could probably use it to end up here!"
"I still understand how exactly there happen to be pipes lying around in the Real Wo-- I mean, Earth, but if Junior is here, then his safety's at stake!" Just as Luigi was finishing his sentence, a banana cream pie flew in from out of nowhere and hit him on the face. "Hey, what was that for?!"
"Oh, it must be National Don't-Mention-Meat-Or-Someone-Will-Hit-You-With-A-Banana-Cream-Pie Day!" Mario smiled, trying not to laugh at his brother's expense.
"National Don't-Mention-Meat-Or-Someone-Will-Hit-You-With-A-Banana-Cream-Pie Day? That's a lot of baloney." Just as Luigi said the last word of that sentence, another banana cream pie came up and hit his face. "And anyway, how come you didn't get hit by a banana cream pie when you earlier mentioned Bowling for Pasta and Brontosaurus Ribs?" Luigi had just finished wiping his face when yet another banana cream pie hit him on the face.
"How should I know? You didn't get slimed when you said 'I don't know' back in the Sultan's palace!" Mario rolled his eyes, referring to chapter three of King Koopa Katastrophe Spoof.
"Who cares?" said Luigi. "Junior's probably in trouble right now!"
Just then, they heard Junior whining from afar in a rather unconvincing voice. "Mario, Luigi, come help me!" he shouted. "I'm in big fat trouble, and I'm unable to do anything about it!"
"You're right," Mario acknowledged to his brother. "He's in trouble."
The Mario Bros. jumped down from the pipe and ran around, looking for Junior. "Junior, you mangy fur-brained lunkhead!" Luigi called out. "Where are you?"
Stupidly, neither of them noticed that Junior and the three-eighths of Bowser's children whom he was hanging out with were watching them from the bushes nearby, despite the fact that they were clearly sticking their heads out. "Should I yell some more?" Junior asked.
"Oh, hell no, fellow prankster!" said Larry, not noticing that Roy's head had changed orange at that point. "They're already running around like idiots; that one yell should be enough."
While Junior and Larry were discussing things and not allowing Ludwig and Roy to have any say in their conversation, a green-headed Piranha Plant came upon the Mario Bros. "Oh no! Ptooeys!" Mario incorrectly yelled out. "And it's spitting mad!"
"Boy, you must have flunked math," said the Piranha Plant. "There's only one of me! Are you seeing double or something? Also, I'm a Piranha Plant, and I'm not actually spitting at the moment. I am a little angry, though."
"Why?" asked Luigi.
"'Cause people keep taking certain Wikipedia articles out of categories that they do belong in!" the Piranha Plant grumbled. "How can Mojo Jojo not fit under the Villains category!? So I think I'll take out my anger on you!!"
"That's what you think!" From out of nowhere, Mario showed off the poster for the 2005 movie "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory".
"AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!" The emotionally-scarred Piranha Plant did a 'little girl scream' and ran off. During which, its green head turned red.
"How'd you do that?" Luigi asked.
"Oh, I simply just had this poster stuffed in my pockets," answered Mario, putting the poster back in his pocket.
"No, I mean getting the Ptooey's head to change color," Luigi clarified.
"Um... that is a question I'm unable to give you the answer to," said Mario, trying to avoid getting slimed again. "Anyway, I think I see Junior right there in those bushes!"
Luigi looked at the bushes his older brother was pointing to. "Where?"
"Aw crap," snapped Mario. "He must be long gone by now. How are we supposed to catch up with him now!?"
Just then, a pack of Yoshies came stampeding through. "KIBBLES 'N BITS! KIBBLES 'N BITS! WE'RE GONNA GET SOME KIBBLES 'N BITS!" they chanted repeatedly, as the Mario Bros. got caught up in their riot.

Another few minutes later, Junior Whatever-His-Last-Name-Is, Larry Koopa, Roy Koopa, and Ludwig Von Koopa stood in front of a pyramid-shaped cave somewhere in Desert Hill. At least I assume it was in Desert Hill. "OK, OK," said Junior, "for this one, how's about we get a giant mouse-trap and bait it with pizza. And when they come to get it... SPLAT!"
"That's completely ridiculous!" said Larry. "We happen to know they're not that stupid. Instead, how's about you lure them in here?"
"Yeah!" agreed Ludwig. "I have a surprise for them in there that they'll never forget."
"Okey-dokey," said Junior.
The Yoshi stampede had brought the Mario Bros. closer to the pyramid, and fortunately, they managed to jump out of the stampeding crowd at that point. "Boy, it was a good thing that Yoshi stampede came along," said Mario, "or we'd never be able to find Junior."
"Why do you say that?" Luigi asked.
"Well, look over there!" Mario pointed to the nearby pyramid-cave.
Junior came running out of the cave, with Roy Koopa in hot pursuit. "MARIO! LUIGI!" Junior screamed, not any more convincing than before, as Roy grabbed and dragged him back inside. "SAVE ME, YOU WORTHLESS PIECES OF GAZELLE DUNG!!"
"Bully Koopa's got him!" Mario stated the obvious.
"Huh? Isn't his name actually Roy Koopa?" Luigi questioned.
"Don't blame me; I don't know why DiC won't let us call Bowser's kids by their real names," said Mario. "The point is, we gotta save Junior!"
"Need any help?" asked Jenny Wakeman.
"Not now, Jenny. We got problems of our own," Mario reprimanded the teenage robot as he headed into the pyramid.
"Yeah, why don't you go make out with Brad or something?" Luigi followed his brother.
"All right, I will!" Jenny turned to bat her metallic eyelashes at her longtime (boy)friend, Brad Carbunkle. "C'mon, Brad, you wanna go make some French kisses behind the scenery?"
"Jen, you're speaking my language!" Brad grinned with a sexy look in his eyes. "Heh-heh, all riiiight."
The Mario Bros. ran for the pyramid-cave (and Jenny and Brad went to go make out behind the background props) as Roy brought Junior inside, where Larry was waiting. "This is gonna be awesome!" said Junior. "I can't wait to see the looks on their faces!"
"They ran in here!" Mario stated the obvious again right before he and Luigi ran into the cave. They didn't quite look surprised when they saw Junior standing there pleasantly with Roy and Larry.
"Goodbye, stupids!" Junior ran off, and right behind him, a cave-in just happened to occur.
"What the hell just happened?!?" Mario asked.
"I don't know," Luigi answered stupidly. And just as he said, green slime dropped in and splattered all over him.
"That vuz a cave-in, you lunkheads!" Ludwig pushed a boulder in front of the cave entrance, blocking it. "And now we have you trapped!"
"Hey Mario, I think we've just been played for saps," said Luigi.
"Why don't you tell me that isn't obvious, Luigi?" Mario requested.
On the other side of the rocks, Junior, Larry, and Roy laughed wickedly at the Marios' expense. "That was awesome!" said Junior when they finished. "I'll bet Bart Simpson, Dennis the Menace, and Calvin would love to do that."
"Sure, it's fun, but the best is yet to come!" Ludwig started a valve on a crapload of pipes that just happened to be situated there.
"Say guys, this is just for fun, isn't it?" Junior asked. "'Cause you see, I'm gonna have to be returning home with these guys sooner or later."
"Yeah, whatever." Ludwig sighed as he continued turning the valve.
On the Marios' end of thing, lava started pouring in and filling up the interior portion they were trapped in, forcing them to move to higher ground.
"Kooky, just what are you doing, anyway?" Junior inquired.
"I already told you, my name is Ludwig," the German-accented Koopaling corrected, "and I'm filling the cave up with lava, stupid! What does it look like I'm doing? Making a pool and filling it with lime jell-o?"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa... whoa. Whoa." Junior put his hands forward with each usage of the word. "You're seriously trying to kill them?"
"Geez, you seriously haven't been playing our games, have you?" said Ludwig. "Of course we're trying to kill them! We're villains!"
"Yeah!" added Larry as he and Roy grabbed Junior from behind. "And quite frankly, we've grown a bit tired of your stupidity."
"Hey, I'm not that stupid, just 'cause I've never seen you guys before!" complained Junior as the Koopalings dragged him out the back door of the cave.
"Maybe not, but your parents certainly should've told you not to take candy from strangers!" said Roy as they brought him to a nearby pipe. During which, the spike on his shell got rather stumpy.
"You didn't offer me candy," Junior corrected. "You just got me to help you prank my babysitters."
"Whatever!" said all three Koopalings, tossing Junior down the pipe.
"AaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaAaA!!!!!!!!!" Junior screamed like Macaulay Culkin as he fell through the pipe. He landed in the sewers below. After shaking the water off of him and the stars away from his head, he got up on the platforms above. "Yeesh! I can't believe I considered those Koopa guys my friends!"
"You see, little boy?" said Willy Wonka, showing up from behind a wall. "This is the kind of stuff that happens when you join a bad gang." And then he played some musical notes on his small kazoo. Eight Oompa Loompas came in from behind, singing to their signature tune.

"Oompa Loompa, doopity dap,
You have been played for a stupid sap,
Oompa Loompa, doopity deeps,
Helping those nasty Koopaling creeps.

What do you get when you do things like that?
Becoming worse at the drop of a hat?
It's as different as the day and the night.
Are you aware that it's not right?
Maybe it's too much for you.

Oompa Loompa, doopity dell,
Take our advice and you will do well.
You'll be living an upright life,
Like the Oompa Loompa doopity dife.

Doopity-dife!"

As soon as the Oompa Loompas finished their song, they and Mr. Wonka immediately ran off. Junior was still trying to figure out the candyman's involvement in this episode when he suddenly noticed he was about to be smashed by a Thwomp. Luckily, he ran off just in time, avoiding similar fates by a few more Thwomps.
"I should've stayed back home and watched one of those crappy movies," Junior muttered, not noticing that he was being followed. "I could even stand to sit through 'Curious George Goes on the Oprah Show' right now. But noooo, I had to come here!" It was at that point that he spun around and noticed two Boo Buddies cowering behind him. "Hey, who are you? And why are you covering your eyes like that?"
"Ugh." Boo Buddy #1 took his hands off of his eyes. "We're Boos! We're freakin' ghosts! Don't you know the basics around here?"
"Yeah!" added Boo Buddy #2. "We follow you around when you're not looking at us, and then make pathetic attempts to hide ourselves when you look in our direction!"
"What kind of ghosts are you?" Junior criticized.
"Why you little!!" Boo Buddy #1 put on his most fearsome expression and made a spooky noise with his lungs. This was enough to scare Junior into jumping three time his own height into the air.
"Say, #1," Boo Buddy #2 addressed his companion, "how come we never do that on the Mario Bros.?"
"We have to be sneaky, you idiot!" Boo Buddy #1 tried to slap his companion, but couldn't connect.
Then a Boom-Boom came running through the passage. "And who are you?"
"I'm Boom-Boom the Mini-Boss Koopa," the brute introduced himself. "I run this place with an iron fist, cheap suits, and really bad breath! And I'm in a bad mood, so if you get in the way of my fists, it's your fault!"
"Whoa!" Junior jumped over Boom-Boom as he was passing by. Ignoring the fact that he had just avoided being murdered by two ghosts and another anthropomorphic turtle, Junior cowardly ran through the maze. "MARIO! LUIGI!" he cried. "NOW I REALLY NEED TO SAVE ME, YOU WORTHLESS PIECES OF GAZELLE DUNG!!"

Back in the pyramid-cave, Mario and Luigi were still backing away from the lava that they were trapped with. "Boy, looks like a hot time in the old volcano tonight!" Luigi stated the obvious some more. Wait, now the cave was a volcano? Did I miss something?
"Luigi, will you quit being so frank?" The moment Mario finished saying that, a banana cream pie flew in and hit his face. "I mean, stop stating the obvious! We're blowing this popstand!" Mario pulled a sledge and mallet out of a toolbox that he didn't have in any previous shots. Using it, he hammered at one of the blocks in the wall, as if he were trying to make a hole in the wall. But instead, he just knocked the block out of the wall to the exterior.
Luigi climbed through the hole. "Hey, Mario, I'm stuck!" he griped.
"You're stuck?! How can that be possible? You're thinner than I am! I should be the one who gets stuck in there, and furthermore..." Mario suddenly realized the lava was reaching his waist. With a "Yipe!" he pushed Luigi through the wall-hole and climbed it through it himself. Surprisingly, his legs had managed to defy the laws of lava physics and avoid being burned off.
Luigi placed the block back where it was before the lava could even come pouring out. "That was a close one!"
"You sure about that?" Mario nitpicked. "My legs clearly should've been burned off by the lava. It was practically up to my knees and I'm still alive right now! What the hell was up with that?"
"Oh no." Luigi stood firm. "You're not gonna make me get slimed again! I am not going to say 'I don't know'!" But then green slime dropped in on him anyway, because he did say the trigger phrase.
Just then, the both of them heard the Koopalings laughing again. They peeked on the other side of the cave-- I mean, volcano, and saw the three Koopalings standing there with Ludwig's lava-filling thingy. How did he bring it outside? "That brat sure was an idiot! Did you see the look on his face when he heaved him into the Pipe Maze?"
"Uh, not really," answered Roy. "I was facing his backside at the time."
"Oh no! Junior's trapped in the Pipe Maze? Now we are in a stew!" A banana cream pie then came and hit Luigi on the face.
"You got a point, Weege. His folks would have a real beef wi--" Before Mario could finish his sentence, a banana cream pie came and hit his face. "I guess we should've stuck with the original dialogue," he said as they walked over to the pipe nearby. "At least we know that the writers at least got the Pipe Maze's name right!"
The Bros. leaped down the pipe, which somehow deposited them in a different area of the sewers from where Junior had landed earlier. They had just managed to dodge two Thwomps when Boom-Boom came running up. "Hey, Luigi, how's about we perform one of our special Bros. Moves on Boom-Boom here?"
"OK," said Luigi.
The enemy battle music from Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga started playing as Luigi jumped in front of Mario. Mario jumped on his green-clad brother's outstretched hands, and Luigi threw him into the air.
"Hey, this is Super Mario Bros. 3! You can't do that move!" Boom-Boom's nitpicking was cut short by Mario landing his shoes right on him and draining all of his HP. Mario jumped back and struck a victorious pose as some red bars appeared nearby, showing 107 being added to his number of experience points.
"Nice move, Mario! You upped your experience points!" There was no stopping Luigi's obvious-stating.
"Hey, aren't you gonna notice us?" complained Boo Buddy #1 from behind Luigi.
Luigi looked at the strangely revealing-themselves Boo Buddies. "Shouldn't you be trying to hide yourself?"
"Normally, we would," explained Boo Buddy #2, "but this episode's writer doesn't seem to know that."
"Oh, really? And I suppose he thinks I can do... this!" Luigi made a positively scary expression with his own face and put out his hands like a monster. His teeth even got spiky at that point.
"Hey!" whimpered Boo Buddy #1. "You're supposed to be scared of us!"
"Like you said," Luigi bit back, "the writer doesn't know anything about us. Now I believe this is the part where you run away." And that's just what the Boo Buddies did. Later on, they were kicked out of the Loyal Order of Boos for being such disgraces to Boodom. Afterwards, they unsuccessfully tried their hands at antagonizing Pac-Man, and then went on to become soldiers of the ghosts in Sonic Adventure 2, but that's another story.
Junior came out from a pipe he was hiding behind. "Is that you, God? It's me, Somebody Junior."
"Junior?" Mario and Luigi ran up to the pipe Junior came out of hiding from. Mario looked sensitive at first, but then an angry look crossed his eyes and he then exploded in anger. "JUNIOR!! I'LL KILL YOU! Then I'm gonna bury you! Then I'll dig you up and clone you! Then I'll kill all your clones! And then, I'm never speaking to you again!"
"Eeeeep!" Junior almost wet himself.
Mario laughed like Peter Griffin. "No, no, I'm kidding. That's just something I heard in a movie that you oughta add to your video collection. Or preferably, your DVD collection, if you got one."
"Aw, man," Junior kicked dirt, "my DVD collection is my good movie collection, which is at my aunt's house, in case you forget. Anyway, you gotta get me outta here. I've been sung to by orange midgets and tormented by incompetent ghosts!"
"Orange midgets, you say?" Mario looked at the "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" poster again. "Well, it's a good thing you didn't encounter this version's kind.
Up above, Ludwig had somehow constructed his pipe-valve thingy into an even bigger monstrosity and connected to a hose that sprawled into the Pipe Maze. As they looked at the new-and-improved pipe-valve thingy, Roy didn't notice that his shell had changed green, and Larry didn't bother to point it out.
"OK guys," said Ludwig, "I've somehow deduced that the Marios have managed to escape the volcano and are now in the Pipe Maze with that Earth fool. So why don't we heat things up down there?"
"Good idea!" Roy was speaking with a deeper voice than usual for no reason. "I don't know how we know those pain-in-the-tail plumbers escaped that last trap, but this oughta send 'em and their little brat to Hell! Oh, oh, pardon my language."
Ludwig turned the valve on his machine, and by that, I mean he threw a switch. Lava started flowing from the machine's hose and into the Pipe Maze. As the lava went down the pipe and started flooding the maze, some strange unidentifiable voices belted out a song about how to avoid being burned. Wait, didn't they already sing that song back in the last chapter of the first King Koopa Katastrophe Spoof? Anyway, the song must've had more of an impact here than the first time around, because all the enemies in the Pipe Maze ran for cover. The same went for the Mario Bros. and Junior, who stupidly ran like cowards from the lava rather than find higher platforms like the enemies were doing. Fortunately, Mario and Luigi both managed to conveniently find Blocks that housed Super Leaves, so they were both able to put on Raccoon Suits and fly Junior out of the Pipe Maze to the safe ground above.
"That was awesome!" said Junior. "I didn't know you guys could grow raccoon tails and somehow use them to suspend yourself in midair."
"Well, they don't call us super for nothing!" Luigi bragged, his mouth movement not matching his dialogue again.
"We better move them, or we'll have to change the adjective in our franchise's name to 'barbequed'!" Mario yelled. "Those little Koopa *******s must've superheated the volcano!" The volcano then erupted and sent dirt and gravel flying everywhere, some of which landed right on Junior's face. "We're not usually ones for clogging up pipes, but in this case, we'd better close up that volcano!"
"Aw, can't somebody else do it?" Luigi whined, trying to clean Junior's face with his hands. "Besides, we gotta bring Junior home."
"Sorry, Luigi, but we can't," Mario pointed. "Like Princess Peach says, this is our show, and we should handle our own problems. So let's prevent that volcano from blowing this place sky high!"
So in less than four seconds, Mario and Luigi had constructed a giant catapult out of trees and logs, and then gathered up a boulder that happened to be large enough to close up the top of the volcano. Luigi struggled to place the boulder on the catapult. "Aw ****, Mario! I can't get it on there!"
"What kinda wimp are you, Weege? We still have Raccoon Power!" Mario then batted his Raccoon Tail against the boulder onto the catapult, despite the fact that his tail would more likely have been weaker than Luigi's hands. Getting up on the boulder, he proclaimed, "Boulders away!" Luigi pulled the rope, and up went Mario and the boulder. Mario managed to guide the boulder so that it landed right on the volcano, closing it up. Ignoring the fact that the lava pressure would probably build up and dislodge the boulder, Mario flew back to where Luigi and Junior stood.
"Um... am I supposed to say that was awesome?" Junior looked confused. "It kinda looked scripted to me. Oh well. Way to go, Mario!"
"For a first-time plumbers' helper, you weren't bad yourself," Mario congratulated.
"What are you talking about, Mario!?" Luigi looked angry. "Junior did nothing to help this whole episode! In fact, it's partially his fault we almost got killed today! Congratulating him like this is a load of baloney. Oops!" Just as he was saying that last word, yet another banana cream pie hit him in the face. "Besides," he said, checking his watch, "his folks are gonna be home in fifteen minutes!"
"It's 10:15 PM already?" Mario was flabbergasted. "This whole escapade was more like less than eleven minutes than five-and-a-half hours! But since we're on DiC Entertainment's nonexistent payroll, we might as well get back to that warp zone."

One scene-switch later, the Mario Bros. and Junior crawled out from under the sink in Junior's kitchen. "We're back in my kitchen!" Junior commented. "Amazing!"
"Did those Koopalings give you drugs or something before they threw you into the Pipe Maze, Junior?" Mario asked. "This plot point doesn't sound amazing if you ask me. If you ask me, what is amazing is the fact that it's supposed to be 10:30 PM, but it's still light outside!"
Just then, they heard the family car coming in, and Junior's dad calling from outside, "Luuuuucy, we're home!"
"Oh, must you say that every time we come home?" They heard Junior's mom saying.
"Uh-oh. Did Mom tell you to give me a bath before they got home?" Junior asked his babysitters.
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure she did," said Luigi.
"Well, get me in that bathtub already!" Junior jumped on Mario's shoulders. "Or my folks'll never let you babysit me again. That is, if you want to."
"We don't. But since not doing a favor is a bad influence to our viewers, we'll do it." Mario carried Junior upstairs, with Luigi running ahead to the bathroom. Strangely, as they were running up the stairs, none of them noticed that someone had apparently broken into the living room and stolen the TV and most of the furniture.
In the bathroom, Luigi turned on the hot water and even found time to add in the bubble formula. Mario brought Junior in and plopped him in the tub, paying no attention to his clothes having changed from red to green in the shot where he did that. "Is there any reason you're putting me in the tub with my clothes on?" Junior asked.
"Well, I figure it's to avoid angry letters from parents," Mario answered. "Either that, or DiC can't draw and animate people in their birthday suits very well."
Mrs. J. came into the bathroom, looking a bit peeked. "Junior, do you have any idea what happened to the furn--" She suddenly stopped and noticed that he was sitting right there in the bubble bath. "Why, Junior! You're taking a bath! How did you do that?" she asked the Marios, whose Raccoon Suits were being covered up by the bubbles.
"Uh..." Luigi put an umbrella over his head. "I don't know?" Sure enough, green slime fell down when he said that, but then time he didn't get hit because of his umbrella.
"Well, now I know I can trust you boys." Mrs. J. then switched to her Edna Krabapple voice again. "You think you could sit again Friday night?"
"Oh boy!" Junior jumped in the tub. "That would be super!"
Mario and Luigi hit their foreheads with their palms. "Forget it, lady!" Mario said, walking out of the bathroom. "That kid is a menace!"
"Yeah, get somebody else!" Luigi followed his brother. "I think Mary Poppins is still available."
Junior leaned against the side of the tub and frowned. "Boy, some people have no integrity."<p>

Super Mario Bros. are cool like sunglasses!



Edited by - Nintendo Maximus on 7/5/2005 8:40:59 PM

15

Mario Chat / Re: Sony releasing Mario DVDs?

« on: June 30, 2005, 11:48:42 AM »

I have good reasons to dislike DiC Entertainment. 95% of their programs are based off of properties created by other companies (for example, "Street Sharks" is just "Ninja Turtles" with sharks instead of turtles), and in the cases where the show is based on a license, they get everything wrong (for example, Heathcliff never talks in the comics).