Chapter 1: Oh, Woe, The Tears of Din
And the rain, it came, dripping and dropping into the thick sea as if no more than a puddle. The thunder brumbled, and rumbled, as if the sky had an upset stomach.
"I need a tums," said the sky.
"What what?" spoke Link as he looked up quickly and suddenly.
The sky said nothing more... it would never give up its secret... never!
Link looked back down at his sea chart. Yes, yes, there were three marked areas, the exact spots to be sailing to. In each spot, one of the pearls is to be placed, and then, after that, something is sure to happen! And it's probably goin to be great! And grand! But until then, it was starting to get very chilly.
"Boaty-"
"King! Red! Lions of!"
"-do you still have that extra blanket? Boaty. Boaty, hello?"
"Er.... no, it... uh...fell... off... the boat... or... me..."
"What? When? I don't remember any... heyyy, wait a second... why are you wearing a bonnet?" Link questioned, looking at the peculiar head dress wrapped around The King of Red Lion's head.
"Er... what bonnet?"
"That one."
"Where?"
"It's right there, just let me-"
"I don't see anything-"
"There!" Link reached up and yanked off the mysterious cloth over Boaty's dull, wooden horns, to find... gasp! It was the blanket!
"Boaty, you're a boat, you don't need this blanket-"
"-Link, I-"
"-I need this blanket!" Link happily wrapped the cozy covering around him until he resembled a poorly wrapped Christmas gift, only his face peering out from a hole in the top.
"Ope, there goes my head," The King of Red Lions stated dryly as the wood of his face began to swell up with rain.
"Now then," Link said, leaning over like a limp hot dog to peer at his chart. They seemed to be heading in the right direction, according to his compass, which had proved trustful so far... so faaar, anyways... "Strange, isn't it?"
"What, my head?"
"No, not that. It seems almost like.... yeah! These marks you made on the chart form some kind of... three-sided... shape of some sort!"
"Oh yeah, here's the Hero of Time for ya..."
"How cool!" Link found delight in his finding a shape, which, if you connected the three marked areas on his chart, resembled a triangle. He was so happy, he bobbed up and down a little bit in glee.
*CRASH!*BOOM!*THUNDER SOUND!*THUNDER SOUND!*
Link then fell down a little bit in glee... or... fright... yes, fright.
He hit the back of his head against the stern, feeling blood rush to his cranium. Rather than getting back up, Link took this time to look at the atmosphere above. Mini-darts of rain pecked his sun-dried cheeks and washed out his large, black eyes. His wispy blonde hair blew frivolously in the harsh winds coming in from behind. They proved rotten for comfort, but excellent for the sail. The gray clouds stirred about in the sky, as though God was stirring up a great kettle of stew.
Ah, yes... stew.
His grandmother sure could make a mean soup. Warm to the tongue, hot to the belly, and all with a flavor that was golden. His eyes closed as he pictured it vividly. His tongue touched his lips, and his throat swallowed dry air, a twinge of the common cold causing it to burn for a second.
"Are you still living back there?" asked The King of Red Lions.
"Yes," Link replied loudly over the storm as he sat up.
The boat replied with a sigh. "Are you sure we're on course, Link? We don't want to be wasting our time."
"Yes, I know, you and your time. We're fine! I've already looked."
"Good, because I am seriously tired of these stormy seas. The sooner we can stop the better."
"You know, I think I might be catching a cold," he cried out.
"Yes, I suppose so," the boat said wryly, "just hang in there, Link."
"..."
"..."
"I've never actually asked you this, Boaty," cried Link.
"Yes?"
"Well... how is it that you can mark these spots on this chart?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, like, you don't have any hands-"
"-No."
"Or any kind of arms-"
"-Well, no-"
"-Or fingers either!"
"No, Link, no fingers-"
"-So how do you do it, Boaty? How?"
"Well, you know, I've never told anyone this, Link, but-"
*CRACK!*
In an instant Link was sent flying out, over the majestic head of the K.O.R.L, and ka-splash, directly into the cold, freezing, frigid, icy, bone-chilling, blood-dropping waters! It was like getting slapped in the face a million times by a penguin.
"OOO-oOo-OoOO-Hh-hhh crap," Link said as he grabbed a handful of the blanket, and blindly swam backwards to where he thought the boat was. He muscles were tense and he legs numb underneath the dark, lonely waters. "I... th-th-thought... all... th-this s-storm... st-stuff.... was o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-over!"
"Link!" cried Boaty.
"Boaty!" cried Link. There was no sign of his companion, though he could hear his rough voice nearby.
"My name is the King of Red Lions, Link!" cried Boaty.
"I'm just gonna keep calling you Boaty, Boaty!" Link cried back.
"Whatever! Just- WHERE ARE YOU?"
*Smack!*
The King of Red Lions drifted directly into the face of Link. The poor young hero recoiled in pain and horror, splashing about in fear.
"Mother!"
"LINK I THINK I'VE FOUND YOU!"
"Okay, my gosh, stop yelling!"
"Oh," The Monarch Of Big Cats With Furry Mains That Are Crimson spoke as he dipped his wooden snout-thing into the water, grabbing Link by the collar of his tunic. He craned his slivery neck back to his stern and dropped his young friend into the boat... or... himself. Link remained sitting there, shivering with a soaked blanket.
"My gosh, what happened?"
"I dunno, I think I hit a rock."
"A rock?"
"Pretty sure."
"Then we must be getting closer to land of some sort! Press onward, Boaty, press press!"
"I'm doin' it, be patient!"
Yes, hitting a rock and then flying out into freezing temperatures was a sure sign of nearer victory! It was true that the boat and Link were now closer with each other than before, and The King of Red Lions found it refreshing that Link never asked why he could talk, or what the purpose was of his help. Link merely assumed that a talking boat was the norm around giant fish, dragons, talking potatoes and such. However, refreshing or not, it also made him worry.
The K.O.R.L was no ordinary red talking boat, for he was on a certain mission. He was out to locate the Hero of Time once again, or at least, someone who was good enough to wield the... power. His goal was to seek this person out, and then, after being sure of their ability, help them collect the Goddess's Pearls. After placed in their appropriate places, the Tower of the Gods would be awakened. The hero he had found would be judged, then, on his courage, wisdom, and power. If he passed this fatal test, and the Gods approved, then he would be allowed to ring their bell, and open up the portal to an old home of his, beneath the sea, where it is currently locked in time. It all seemed quite confusing when thought of all at once, but when time tells the tale, it all becomes more clear...
And this great hero, this hero of time, this conqueror of evil was actually not found, but hey! He got himself a Link, any way!
"Yes, I c-can s-s-see it!" Link cried, his bottom jaw quaking in the frigid chill.
"The reason I desperately need your blanket?" Boaty spoke hopefully.
"No! An island!"
"Oh... well, good then, here we go!"
Link's eyes gazed at the shadow of the island. The King of Red Lion held his neck high, sailing directly towards it. The isle rested on the horizon like a bird perched on a branch. They were making the first of three steps closer to victory, and then, after taking two more painfully annoying steps, that were sure to last longer than supposed, Link would be ready to rescue Aryll!... for some reason!
Why did he collect all of those pearls anyway?
"We're almost there!" Boaty called back to him.
"Greatness! How far, do you think?"
"Uh... what part of 'almost there' don't you understand?"
"The 'almost' part!"
"Are you kidding me?"
"What?"
"Never mind..."
Before Link could've asked, his rather weak intention span did away with the question of what the purpose of the three pearls was. Besides, he was sure to find out soon enough. From what he had to go through to collect all of them, they had better be worth it!
The sea gave a mighty toss.
"Woah! Hulla-buh!" Boaty cried as he found himself jumping into the air, splashing back down onto another swell of the ocean.
"I'm friggen freezing back here, Boaty-"
"-Just hold on!-"
"Boaty, something's wrong with... my hair-"
"-HOLD ON, Link-"
"OMG I THINK IT'S CHIPPING OFF! Dang! How cold IS it?!"
Link patted his blonde hair to find it slightly frozen, like a scarf after witnessing a blizzard.
"Boatyyyy, it's not safe out here-"
"-Really, do you think so?-"
"-Was that snow?-"
"-My gosh, Hero-guy, it's a tad obvious!-"
"-IT WAS! OMG!!!"
*SPLOOSH!*
They toppled over yet another wave, this time almost submerging beneath the trouble waters! The K.O.R.L. spit out a mouthful of sea water, along with a strange fishman who seemed to flip him a certain finger before swimming away.
The lightning cracked the murky sky, and the thunder rolled in anger. The darts of rain became arrows shot by flying archers way up high, and they struck Link like bullets. It was now impossible, even, to spot the silhouette of the island up ahead, for the sky was so dark, it blended right in with it! The only way The King of Red Lions could tell that they were going the right way was when lightning decided to light up the path, and the rocky mountain peak that rose above the waves was in sight.
"I thought the never-ending storm was over!" Link cried angrily.
"I know! After retrieving Nayru's Pearl, Ganon's storm curse should have worn off! I'm... not sure what to think of this!"
"I'm sure of what to think of this!-"
"-Now, Link-"
"-It SUCKS!"
They suddenly felt a lack in strong winds. Perhaps the front had moved on, and they were now only left with harsh rain and thunder. A warm air started to spin in circles around them, and before Link could scream, "Holy crap, Boaty, we're being lifted up into the air!" they were lifted up... into the air!
Yes, Link and friend had conveniently wondered into the eye of a cyclone! But, this was no ordinary cyclone, for as The King of Red Lions soared into the air, they remained still, not spinning, as though they would simply rise up until they popped out the top.
"What kinda tornado is this?" Link asked as he looked around, the warm, fierce spiraling winds acting as a barrier to the strong storm outside.
"This is the tornado... of Cyclos!"
"Omg! Wait, who is Cyclos?"
"It's Cyclos, Link! The brother of Zaphos! The god of the winds!"
"Ohhhh," Link said in awe as they rose higher and higher.
Link had met Zaphos once, back on Dragon Roost Island after receiving the Wind Waker. Zaphos, being a wind god, had strangely taken the form of a portly bluish-green frog sitting lazily atop a swirling cloud. He was a very laughable creature, who actually taught Link a song to conduct on the worthy baton. Link had found him a friendly guy. However, Link suddenly recalled upon what Zaphos had warned him about. If he should ever run into the cyclone of his cruel brother Cyclos, he should try to talk some sense in to him...
and/or swim away!!!
Link was about to jump over the side of Boaty, when they suddenly stopped in mid-flight. Link turned his head to find that he was facing what appeared to be the image of Zaphos, only the color of red. It must be Cyclos!
"I am Cyclos!" he said.
It was Cyclos!"
"Cyclos, let us down! We are trying to place this dang pearl in the dang statue of that dang island!" The K.O.R.L. cried out.
"Yeah, dangit!" added Link.
"Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah!" Cyclos laughed annoyingly as Link and Boaty furrowed their brows at him. "Ohhhhh..... nnnn[size=9.5pt]N[/size]NNO!"
"What?" cried Link.
"Why not?" Boaty asked loudly.
"Because I'm a naturally angry person, and you guys suck!" the wind god replied.
"No we don't!" Link shot back.
"Ooooooooooooh!" Cyclos said mockingly, "Well, whatever! My shrine has been broken, and I'm taking out all my anger on random peoples!"
"And you wonder why your shrine was broken?" said a sarcastic Boaty.
"Hey! Shut it up! Shut it down! Shut it all around!!! Just because of that, S.S. Jerk-Anne, I'm never going to allow you to reach this island! NEVER!!!"
"Oh, we'll see about that!" Link said triumphantly. He drew his Hero's Sword, and, with a Matrix-worthy leap, jumped atop Boaty's head, and flung himself at Cyclos! Cyclos moved two inches back, and watched as Link plummeted down into the ocean bellow.
"HAH! What a fantastic 'Hero of Time' you've got there, S.S. Jerk..."
"...ahem..."
"-Anne."
"Yes, well.... Shut up! And, my name is Boaty... I-I mean King of Red Lines! Lions! LIONS!!!"
"Okay, listen, Kingy, I'm not a happy frog. If I see you and your..." he looked down to see Link trying to leap out of the water at Cyclos, mouthing the words 'I'm gonna getcha!', "...pet ever again, I will not show any mercy!"
"Listen, just let us do the business with the pearl, and we'll be on our way-"
"-What pearl? I care about no pearl! Do your pearl business somewhere else! You have angered the great Cyclos, boat-guy and friend!"
"The King for Red Lines...dangit- King of Red Lines-"
"-Yes that's great, but I don't care! Be gone, and never come back!"
With that, Cyclos rose his froggy arms to the stormy sky and laughed horrifically. Then, as if the cyclone was throwing up, it became immensely narrow at the base, forcing Link to come flying upwards.
"You haven’t seen the last of me, Cyclos-"
"aaaaaah-"
"-No. We'll be back, and we'll get past you-"
"aaaaaaaaah!"
"-if it's the last thing I DO!"
"AAH!"
*SMACK!*
Right as Boaty spoke 'DO!' Link came flying up from below and whacked his head on the under-side of the boat, causing The King of Red Lions and Link to shoot out the top of the tornado, up-chucked by a storm. They left with Cyclos laughing up a lung, calling an ambulance, getting it put back in, and then chuckling some more at their suspense. The heroes were sent spiraling through the stormy air, not sure of where their next destination may be.